All language subtitles for Episode 1- Pilot

[Muffled chatter]

[Knocking]

Gerald Tate's here.

He wants to know
what's happening to his deal.

Go get Harvey.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

I check.

Raise.

5,000.

I'm all-in.

[Cell phone dings]

You can pay me later.
I got to go.

Gentlemen.

I'm paying you millions,

and you're telling me
I'm gonna get screwed?

Jessica, have I come
at a bad time?

Gerald, this is
Harvey Specter.

He's our best closer.

Well, if you're
the best closer,

where the hell you been
for the last three hours?

Well, Gerald, I specialize
in troubled situations,

and when I left here
at 7:00 p.m.,

this deal wasn't
in jeopardy,

so I'm just trying to figure out
what happened in the interim.

We keep offering more money.

They keep rejecting it.

It's last-minute
bad faith bullshit.

Says here that Cooper
won't be staying on

as honorary vice president.

That's right.
I don't want him around.

He wouldn't be around.

It's an honorary position.

I don't give a shit.

Well, I think you do,

because that's what's changed
since I left,

which means it's you
who's been dealing in bad faith.

Well, now that you've got
a grasp on what's happened

in the goddamn interim,

what are you
gonna do about it?

Because he's not getting
that title.

Well, let me make sure
I understand this, okay?

We negotiated a deal that
gave you everything you wanted,

Mr. Cooper signed it,
and now you won't close

until we take away
the last shred of his dignity?

- Bingo.
- Well, that's not gonna happen.

- And why the hell not?
- Because I like Mr. Cooper,

and my firm doesn't operate
in bad faith.

Oh.
I see how it is.

Instead of working Cooper,

you're working me.

Well, why don't you take
your pansy attitude

back in there
and make him sign my deal?

Or I'll pay someone else
your money

to do it for me.
First of all, Gerald,

if you think
anyone's gonna touch this deal

after your bad faith,
you're mistaken.

Second, the way
our agreement works is,

the minute Cooper
signed the deal

which gave you everything
you wanted,

our fee was due and payable,
which is why at 7:30

I received confirmation
of a wire transfer

from escrow indicating payment
in full.

So I'd say
the ball's in your court,

but the truth is
your balls are in my fist.

Now I apologize if that image
is too pansy for you,

but I'm comfortable enough
with my manhood

to put it out there.

Now get your ass in there

and close the goddamn deal.

You gonna let him talk to me
like this?

Harvey speaks for the firm.

[Clears throat]

We got paid
before Gerald signed the deal?

What are you talking about?
This is a memo

about some fire drill
on Tuesday.

- Huh.
- You're the blue team captain.

You get to wear a fire hat.

Time's up.

Pencils down.

Excuse me.
Do I know you from somewhere?

I don't think so.

I have a pretty good memory
for faces.

So do I.

- Sorry.
- I got it.

Hey.
Hey!

Stop! You in the cap!

♪ Suits 1x01 ♪
Pilot
Original Air Date on June 23, 2011

[Knocking]

What did you get me?

What I said
I was gonna get you.

A 158.
I told you I wanted a 175.

And I told you
only 1 out of 100 people

can score that.

You're a B-minus student.
You got 1,000 on your SATs.

If I get you a 175,
they'll know you cheated.

So only a genius loser
can get a 175?

Actually, no.
I would get a 180.

Now can I have my money,
please?

Whoa.
This is only half.

Then why don't you
go call the police?

I got to get my shit
together.

That's the best cheeseburger
I've had in my life.

It's from Monday, Trevor.

Look, man, I'm serious.

I almost got caught today.

I've got
to stop getting stoned.

I've got to get
my act together.

Dude, look at me.

You can burn bud
and still be a success.

You sell pot for a living.

Still saps the motivation.

All I'm saying is,
you want in,

you are in.

You know,
that is word for word

your offer before I got caught

cheating on your math test
in the third grade.

Goddamn memory.

Stop.

Look, no one's gonna suspect
you're a dealer.

I mean, look at me.

This is a $2,000 suit, Mike.

I got, like, 12 of 'em.

I take on
real software projects.

I have clients who bring me
briefcases filled with cash,

and I hand them
identical briefcases

with vacuum-sealed bud.

So what do you need me for?

Well, I have a client
coming in from out of town,

and I can't meet him,

and I need someone I can trust
to make the drop.

It's totally safe.

Trevor, a person
is more likely to die

while dealing drugs
than they would be

on death row in Texas.

Wait.
What are you talking about?

It's from Freakonomics.

Do you read anything
that I give you?

It doesn't matter,

because you have to find
somebody else.

I'm not interested.

Not interested in what?

What are you doing here?
You said you were gonna stay

at your place tonight.

Hi, sweetie.

What a pleasant surprise.

I'm so glad you stopped by.
Yeah.

We're in the middle
of something.

What are you
in the middle of?

Trevor's trying
to set me up.

That's terrific.

Who's the lucky girl?

I'm trying to get him
to work for me.

That's a great idea.

It will take some stress
off Trevor,

and you'll pick up
writing code

like you do everything else.

All right.
I got to go.

I got go get up early
to see my grandmother

and pay them another month.

Oh.
[Grunting]

[Giggles]

- Good night.
- Bye.

How did you know Gerald
wouldn't look at that memo?

Because a charging bull
always looks at the red cape,

not at the man
with the sword.

By the way,
I've set up a meeting

for you and John Dockery
next week.

Dockery?
He's Skadden's biggest client.

Not anymore.

He's looking around.

He plays tennis.
I want you to close him.

Consider it done.

Then you are
officially dismissed

for the evening.

Cheers.

Well, you two seem
to be celebrating something.

Mm-hmm.
We are.

In fact, you are looking

at the best closer
this city has ever seen.

Closer, huh?

Baseball?
Attorney.

I close situations.

Hmm.
So you only care about money?

The truth is,
I do it for the children.

[Chuckles]

I'm Lisa.

Harvey.

Lisa, I don't normally do this,

but since we are celebrating,

what time do you get off
tonight?

I'm glad you asked.

I get off at ten past
"I'm never going out with you."

I guess you're not the best
closer this city's ever seen.

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Good morning.

Lisa, this was lovely,

but I'm afraid
you have to go.

- Aw.
- I hate to miss a workout,

and I really need
to be in the office by 7:30.

I can make you breakfast?

You could eat it
off my stomach.

I guess if I skip the gym,

I can still get in by 9:00.

[Giggles]

I hear someone's
not taking their pills.

Because they're trying
to poison me.

Grammy, that's crazy.

Dr. Shrager gave me her word

she wouldn't poison you
until January.

If she does it before then,
she can't count it

towards next year's quota.

Oh, what did I teach you?

[Imitates explosion]

Michael, I'm not gonna be
around forever.

And I want you to stop
with that stuff.

What stuff?

I may be old,

but I'm not an idiot.

I know life has been hard
for you,

but you're not a kid anymore,

and I want you to promise

you're gonna start living up
to your potential.

I promise.

I'm not saying that I haven't
been charmed by Harvey,

but it's just so patronizing

when you say
that he can handle those things

and, "Louis,
you can only handle this."

Jessica, I could have handled
Gerald Tate.

And I told you
I disagree.

- Why?
- Because when you put

two bullies
in the same room together,

things generally
don't go so well.

It's 9:30.
Nice of you to show up

two hours after we open
for business.

And I see that you're also
trying to look like a pimp.

My bad, Louis.
I was out late last night.

And when I woke up,
this is the suit

your wife picked out for me.

And that would be funny

if I'd actually been married.
Moving along.

- You're not married?
- Recruiting. Harvey.

Your interviews are set up
for tomorrow.

What?
Why don't we just hire

the Harvard summer associate
douche?

I think if you listen
to the phrasing

of that question,
you'll come up with an answer.

We need people who think
on their feet,

not another clone
with a rod up his ass.

Harvey, the fact
that we only hire from Harvard

gives us a cache
that's a little more valuable

than hiring a kid
from Rutgers.

You went to Harvard Law.

I'm an exception.

Find me another one.

Can we please skip
the recruiting?

I work better alone anyway.

Well, I would, Harvey,

except all senior partners
get an associate.

It's just a rule.

I'm sorry.
What?

Jessica, I deserve
that promotion.

My billables destroy his.

And I'm here night and day
doing whatever's needed

instead of swanning
in and out of here

whenever I please.

I must admit, he does make me
sound very swan-like.

Harvey,

shut up.

Louis, this is how it is.

All right,
now you two make nice.

Louis, I apologize.
I was out of line.

Now if you'll just let me text
your pretend wife

that I just made senior partner,
I--what?

Your grandmother's
getting worse.

I need to move her
to full care

or I'll have to transfer her
to the state facility.

I won't put her
in a state facility.

Then I'm afraid you'll have
to come up with $25,000.

[Sighs]

Trevor, I'm in.

One-time deal.
I want 25.

Take it or leave it.

I'll take it.

There's a briefcase in my room.

Pick it up tomorrow,

take it to room 2412

at the Chilton Hotel.

Now you can't go
to a luxury hotel

looking like a delivery guy,
so shave,

comb your hair,
buy a suit.

That's a hell
of a lot to ask, man.

Well, I'm not asking you.
I'm paying you $25,000.

Okay?

Yeah, he's in.

Good.

I'm gonna go take a piss.

Key.

24 hours, we'll know

if this new buyer's a cop.

Why didn't you tell Trevor
he might be sending

his guy into a setup?

Same reason
why I don't tell Gina

I'm banging her sister.

It'll only cause trouble.

What's up?

I'm just gonna take off.

I don't think you should.

Why don't you stay with us
till tomorrow?

Now give me your cell phone.

Give me your phone.

Don't even think
about warning your boy.

'Cause if these guys are cops,
whoever's holding that weed

is going to jail
for a long time.

[Knock at door]

Hey.

Hey. God, you scared the hell
out of me.

Sorry.

Look at you.

You look great.
Thanks.

Tell me you decided
to work with Trevor.

Yeah.
Trial basis. Yeah.

What are you doing here?

My mom is coming
by my place later.

And I don't want
to mess it up,

so I'm hanging here.

[Softly] Got to go.

Hey.
Come here.

Mm.

You want to look perfect
on your first day.

Yeah.

I've got to go.

Mm-hmm.

Great. Thanks.

Donna, we're gonna need
to streamline this.

Give each guy a hard time.

Before you send them back,

give me a wink
if they say something clever.

Cool?
Okay.

What are you looking for?

Another me.

[Exhales]

[Overlapping chatter]

So, Chip,

what makes you think

that I'm gonna let
the whitest man

that I have ever seen
interview for our firm?

Because I have
an appointment.

Hmm.

You can do this.

Kid, what is wrong with you?

You look
like you're 11 years old.

I was late to puberty.

Harvey Specter.

Uh, excuse me.

I was thinking
about going for a swim.

Are the pool facilities here
nice?

Of course, sir.

This is the Chilton Hotel.

And do you have the time?

Yes, uh...

10:00.
Thanks.

- He saw your gun.
- You think that's him?

Matches the description.

But he didn't go
in the room.

It's 10:00 exactly.
He's just walking by?

Go after him.
Stay on the radio.

Rick Sorkin.

Rick Sorkin.

[Coughs]

Rick Sorkin?

Excuse me, Mr. Sorkin,

you are five minutes late.

Is there a reason
why I should let you in?

Look, I'm just trying
to ditch the cops, okay?

I don't really care
if you let me in or not.

Mr. Specter will be
right with you.

What?

Can I get you anything?
A coffee or a bottle of water?

Hi, Rick Sorkin.

Harvey Specter.
Nice to meet you.

Why don't you have
a seat here?

Whoa.
What's this?

Can I help you?

No.

How the hell did you know
they were the police?

I read this novel
in elementary school,

and it was
the exact same thing.

You read a novel
in elementary school.

What?
I like to read.

And why'd you ask them
what time it was?

Throw 'em off.

What kind of drug dealer

asks a cop
what time it is

when he's got a briefcase
full of pot, right?

We should hire you.

Jesus, I'd give you
the 25 grand

as a signing bonus.

I'll take it.

Unfortunately,

we only hire
from Harvard.

And you not only did not go
to Harvard Law School,

you haven't even gone
to any law school.

What if I told you
that I consume knowledge

like no one you've ever met,

and I've actually passed
the bar?

I'd say
you're full of crap.

That's a Barbri legal handbook
right there, right?

Open it up.
Read me something.

Anything.

"Civil liability associated
with agency is based

on several factors--"
- "including the deviation

"of the agent
from his path,

"the reasonable inference
of agency on behalf

"of the plaintiff,
and the nature

of the damages themselves."

How did you know that?

I learned it when I studied
for the bar.

Okay, hotshot,

fire up this laptop.

I'm gonna show you

what a Harvard attorney
can do.

Pick a topic.

Stock option backdating.

Although backdating options
is legal,

violations arise
related to disclosures

under IRC Section 409a.

You forgot
about Sarbanes-Oxley.

The statute of limitations

renders Sarbanes-Oxley moot
post 2007.

Not if you can find actions

to cover up the violation

as established in
the Sixth Circuit, May 2008.

That's impressive, but you're
sitting at a computer.

Playing hearts.

Sorry.
If you want to beat me,

you're gonna have to do it
at something else.

How can you know
all that?

I told you.
I like to read.

And once I read something,
I understand it.

And once I understand it,
I never forget it.

Why take the bar?

This dickhead bet me
I couldn't pass it

without going to law school.

Okay, look,

this is
all pretty fascinating stuff,

but I'm afraid
I got to get back to work.

I'll make sure
that Serpico isn't around

waiting for you.

You want this job so much,

why didn't you just go
to law school?

When I was in college,

it was my dream
to be a lawyer.

I needed some money,

and Trevor convinced me

to memorize this math test

and to sell it.

Turns out we sold it
to the Dean's daughter.

I lost my scholarship,
I got kicked out of school,

I...

I got knocked
into a different life.

And I have been wishing
for a way back ever since.

Let me tell you something.

This isn't elementary school.
This is hard work.

Long hours.
High pressure.

I need a grown goddamn man.

You give me this,

and I will work
as hard as it takes

to school those Harvard douches

and become the best lawyer
you have ever seen.

I'm inclined
to give you a shot,

but what if I decide
to go another way?

I'd say that's fair.

Sometimes I like to hang out
with people

who aren't that bright,
you know,

just to see
how the other half lives.

Move over.

I'm emailing the firm
I just found our next associate.

All right.
You're gonna start a week

from Monday.

Here's what you're gonna do.

First, no more pot.
We drug test.

Stop smoking now,
you'll be fine,

I assume that's all the drugs
you do.

- How do you know that?
- You read books, I read people.

And potheads smoke pot.
That's what they do.

It's not all I do.
I have interests.

You're Albert
friggin' Einstein,

and you couldn't manage
to get into law school?

You think that's not
from smoking weed?

- Trevor got--
- That's another thing.

You're never gonna talk
to Trevor again.

You're gonna ditch
that briefcase,

and you're gonna get on a plane
to Harvard,

and you're gonna learn
everything there is

about going
to law school there.

Did you buy that suit?
Yeah.

Let's buy some new ones.

Hi.

How do I sign up
for today's law school tour?

You go back in time
six weeks

because
that's when it booked up.

Um...

This is Harvard Law.

We get over 7,000 applications
a year.

You think you can just walk in
and take a tour?

Thank you.

Eduardo Fernandez,
who, first of all,

looks like he works
at the public pool or something,

and he comes up to me
the other day,

and I completely know
he's a freshman.

And he looks at me
and he goes,

"Where's
the public health school?"

Which is right
around the corner,

and you know what I tell him?
Clifford Watkins?

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

Jonathan Atwater.

I work for Dean Wormer
in the Admissions Office.

Yes, of course.
What can I do for you?

Well, the Dean
personally sent me down here

to invite you
to a small cocktail hour

for some of
our more realistic candidates.

And we'd like to keep
this sort of thing discreet,

so if you'd subtly hand me
your name tag,

you can proceed
directly to the Dean's office.

Congratulations.

Harvard Law
is the oldest law school

in the country
and boasts

the most successful graduates
in the world.

Currently, we are six
of nine Supreme Court Justices

and, of course, the President
of the United States.

[Alarm clock buzzing]

Uh, hi, good morning.

I'm here to see--
- Have a seat.

Thank you.

Mike Ross?

Hi, I'm Rachel Zane.

I'll be giving you
your orientation.

- Wow. You're pretty.
- Good. You've hit on me.

We can get it out of the way
that I am not interested.

No, I'm sorry.
I wasn't hitting on you.

Trust me.

I've given dozens of these,

and without fail,
whatever new hotshot it is

thinks that,
because I'm just a paralegal,

that I will
somehow be blown away

by his dazzling degree.

Let me assure you,
I won't.

I was.
I was hitting on you.

You were.
Take notes.

I'm not gonna repeat myself.

I love you.

The firm operates
on a chain of command model.

Harvey's
your commanding officer.

However, Louis Litt,
he oversees all associates,

so you'll also answer
to him.

What do you think
about Harvey?

People are in awe of him.

They say he's the best closer
there is,

but I have very little contact
with him,

so I don't know.

And what about Louis Litt?

Let's continue
with your tour.

Hey, Becky.
You are glowing.

I wonder why that is.
Oh, yeah.

It's the day
they announce my promotion.

Jimmy, have you lost weight?

Steve-O.

Looking like a guy
who came to work.

Excuse me,
why are you scratching off

the senior off my door?

I got a work order
to take it off.

- Who issued the work order?
- My supervisor.

Why did he issue
the work order?

If I knew that,
I'd be his supervisor.

You seem
to be enjoying yourself.

I haven't enjoyed myself
since 2004.

Donna!

Someone's trying to have
a little fun with me here.

Jessica wants to see you
in her office.

Now.

And finally,
this is where you'll live.

[Laughs]
Wow.

I gave you that for a reason.
You haven't taken one note.

- That's because--
- Because you were

too busy ogling me to listen

to a word I've said?

Partners' offices
anchor the wings.

Fifth floor's research,
sixth is security.

All work gets billed,
even if it's finding an address.

I answer to Harvey

and Louis Litt,
and, judging by the way

you responded to my questions,

I should admire Harvey
and I should fear Louis.

You have been here
for five years,

and just because I outrank you

does not mean
I have the authority

to command your services.

Oh, it's also pretty clear

that you think
you're too smart

to be a paralegal.

You know what nobody likes?

Nobody likes a showoff.

You used the word "ogling."

When do I get
to see Harvey?

Gerald Tate
fired the firm.

So you're taking
my promotion away.

You know, most firms would put
you in front of the bar

and have your license stripped.

You lied to a client,
and he figured it out.

I lied to him to get him
to do the right thing

and honor his goddamn contract.

And you didn't seem
to mind so much

when you thought
I got away with it.

But you didn't get away
with it.

And I can't justify handing you
a promotion

on the same day that you lose
a huge client.

One client
doesn't make a firm.

I don't know
if you've noticed,

but we're in the middle
of an economic meltdown.

Companies
aren't exactly lining up

to spend money
on attorneys right now.

And, you know, Gerald might
have forgiven the lying

had you not humiliated him.

But you did,
and you need to accept that.

Jessica, if you hadn't done
as much for me as you have,

I'd be heading
for the door.

If I hadn't done as much
for you as I have,

I'd be throwing you
out the window.

But, Harvey,
no more shenanigans.

You do one more thing
that isn't straight as an arrow,

and instead
of covering your ass,

I will put you
in front of the bar myself.

- Mike.
- Hey.

Who's ready
for a great first day?

I'm gonna have
to let you go.

- What?
- I just got reamed

for lying to a client,

and if they find out
that I lied about you

going to Harvard,
they'll take away my license.

[Beep]
[Over intercom] You what?

Not now, Donna.

Look, I have to put
my own interests

above yours.
It's nothing personal.

You're fired.

Wait, so you're worried
that if I stay,

then they might find out
that you lied about me

and you'll lose your license.

But if you fire me,
then I could tell them

that you lied about me,

and you'd definitely lose
your license.

Are you telling me that

if I throw you under the bus,

you're gonna drag me
with you?

You put your interests
above mine,

and I'm just putting mine
back up next to yours.

You're rehired.

So should I--
all right.

Here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna give me back

my promotion,
and that's the last

we're gonna talk about this.

And why is that?

Because if you don't,
I'm gonna go across town

and join Rick Peterson.

I'm gonna approach every client
I've ever closed,

and I'm gonna
take them with me.

You do that,
and you'll force me

to put you in front
of the ethics board.

- I don't think you will.
- And why not?

Because you were obligated
to notify them

the second I lied to Gerald,
but you didn't.

You put me in front
of the board right now,

I'll put you right up there
with me.

Hmm.

I'll...I'll give you
your promotion.

But you have to do something
for me.

Anything.

Ah.
Pro bono.

Anything but that.

Harvey, pro bono cases

are how we, as a firm,
show that we care

about more
than just ourselves.

I'm not saying
we shouldn't do them.

I'm saying
I shouldn't do them.

And it's how you can show me

that you care about more
than just yourself.

You'll handle this yourself.

You will not pass it off.

Absolutely.

Your first case.

Awesome.
What is it?

Pro bono.

Sexual harassment.

Don't tell anyone
I laid it off on you,

and don't screw it up.
Got it.

You can't handle it.
I'll knock it out of the park.

Easy, Clarence Thomas.
Just go meet the client.

Hey. Didn't I tell you
to get some better suits?

I spent $500.

For how many suits?

Five.

What?

Nancy?

- Mike?
- Yeah, hi.

You're a kid.

No, I'm a--
I'm a grown man.

You're so skinny.
Have a grape.

Thank you.

Why don't you tell me
your story?

It started two years ago.

I was a stay-at-home mom

to my son, Freddie.

And one day
we were at little league,

Freddie was five.

He really hated
that he couldn't play

with the older kids.

It was the third inning,
and I got a phone call.

My husband had been
in a car accident,

and he was gone,
just like that.

I'm so sorry.

I did the best I could.

I got myself a job
as a secretary

at Devlin McGreggor.

And I even got promoted

to secretary of the president,

Charles Hunt.

And that's
when it all changed.

It's okay.
Tell me what happened.

He started asking me
to stay late,

order in dinners together,
stuff like that.

One night, he says
that if I sleep with him,

he's gonna take care of me
in the firm,

and, if I don't,
he's gonna fire me.

So what did you do?

I went to Human Resources.

They said they investigated,

couldn't find anything
to support my claim.

Two months later,
I was fired

for poor job performance.

They wouldn't let me
say good-bye to anybody.

They wouldn't write me
a letter of recommendation.

I wasn't looking
for a payoff.

All I wanted
was for it to stop.

Can you help me?

Uh, yes.

Yes, I can.

What do you need
my help for?

- Wait, can I just--
- No, give me the update.

You know,
she's a nice woman.

She--
- On the case.

I don't get
emotionally attached

to the client.

This woman had
her life ripped apart.

You don't even care?

I'm not about caring.
I'm about winning.

Why can't you be
about both?

I'd explain it to you,

but then I'd have
to care about you.

What are you doing?

Don't touch that.

I'm just checking my lock.

You ride your bike to...

It's locked, okay?

Come on.

Defense sent over
the investigation files

as a courtesy.
No, they didn't.

Nobody does anything
as a courtesy.

They sent those files

because that's
where they want you to look.

Listen, being a lawyer's

like being a doctor.

You mean how you don't get
emotional about the client?

No, I mean you keep pressing
until it hurts.

Then you know
where to look.

Forget about impeaching
the investigation.

It won't lead anywhere.
No employee's gonna testify

against their own CEO.
Okay.

So what do you suggest I do?

Think.
This guy's done this once...

He's done it before.

And if the people
who work for him now

won't testify against him...

Someone who used
to work for him might.

You know what,

I'd subpoena
the personnel records

of every woman
who's left the firm

during this guy's tenure.
That's funny.

That's exactly what I thought.

Then what do you need
my help for?

I don't know
how to fill out a subpoena.

Figure it out yourself.

Donna, can you show me
how to fill out a subpoena?

Absolutely.
And after that,

you want me to show you
how to wipe your ass?

It's funny,
because you should already know

how to do both those things.

Ha, yeah,
that's hilarious.

What's that?
That's my suit guy.

Go in, tell him I sent you,
and spend some money.

What does it matter
how much money I spend on suits?

People respond
to how we're dressed,

so like it or not,
this is what you have to do.

That's weird,
you giving me advice.

It sounds like you actually care
about me.

I don't.
You're a reflection of me,

and I absolutely
care about me.

So get your skinny tie
out of my face and get to work.

That was a little harsh.

Really?

Yeah.

Mike.

Where are you going?

It's 6:30.
I'm going home.

[Laughs]

Okay.
What's so funny?

You're a rookie associate.

If you go home before 9:00
on your first week,

you're not gonna make it
through your first month.

And Louis Litt
wants to see you.

- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Mm-hmm.

This tie,
is it too skinny?

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

I know you had orientation
from Rachel,

but I wanted to give you
a special welcome from me.

Amongst other things,
I'm sort of the disciplinarian

of the associates.

[Tap on glass]

- You wanted to see me?
- Yes.

Gary, please come in.
Mike, this is Gary Lipsky.

Gary's one of our most promising
associates from last year.

Hi.

Gary, Ms. Pearson
wanted me to ask,

have you completed
the Petramco filing?

Well, my brother was in
over the weekend,

so I didn't really get
to it.

Look, I mean,
Gary, come on.

This is, like, the third time
I've had to ask.

I'll get right on it.

Don't bother.
You're fired.

What?
You can't fire me.

Oh, yes, I can.
And I just did.

Go pack up your things.

Don't you ever show your face
in this place again.

See, I arranged
for you to see that

because we pay our associates
very well

and we provide the opportunity
for unlimited advancement.

But in return
we expect results.

Have I made myself clear?

Yeah.

Great.

Welcome to Pearson Hardman.

Feel free
to go back to work.

Harvey.

Okay, I have two words
for you.

Absolutely beautiful.

You think you're the only one
who can charm a client?

Categorically stunning.

How's the new kid
working out?

Regally hot.

- You're an idiot.
- Jessica Pearson.

Good night, Harvey.

[Sports announcer chatter]

What are you doing here?

Watching Sportscenter.

Boo-yah.

You won't return
my phone calls.

Ah, yeah,
because you set me up.

Do you remember that?
You think I knew about that?

Here we go.
Round 50 of I get the shaft

because you didn't know
the whole story.

You knew there were risks
when you quoted that crap

from that book.

Okay, you needed money,

and I came through
with an opportunity

like always.

Besides, you weren't
the only one who got screwed.

They pulled a gun on me.

Oh, really?

And why did they do that?

To keep me from warning you.

So you did know.

Well, not until
after it was too late.

Well, it's too late now.

Look, let me
make it up to you.

Oh, you want
to make it up to me?

Give me my key back.

Michael.

Come on.

You know I don't want
to live in a world

where we're not tight.

Then kill yourself.

Get out.

Get the hell out.

Donna, I need the--

oh, also I didn't have
a chance to--

marry me?
- I took care of that too.

We've been married
for the last seven years.

Excellent.

Umm, Devlin McGreggor's
fighting the subpoena.

They filed a motion
to dismiss the case

based on our
lack of evidence.

- Good.
- Good.

Wait, what do you mean,
"good"?

They don't want
to hand over the files.

You pressed where it hurt.

You're looking
in the right place.

Did you think
they wouldn't fight back?

Well, I--
now that you mention it.

Oh, my bad.

I keep forgetting

you don't
actually know anything.

- [Mock laughs]
- The idea is,

you make a move,
they make a move.

You go back and forth
until one of you wins.

Okay, what if they win
the motion

and the case
gets dismissed?

You're not as good
as you think you are.

Harvey.
What a coincidence.

I was wondering
how the pro bono was coming.

I'm all over it.

That makes me very happy,

because if I were
to find out

that you weren't putting in
your full effort,

I'd be very upset.

No worries.
We're all good.

Rachel! Rachel, Rachel,
Rachel. I need your help.

There's a hearing
on my subpoena.

I've got three cases
in front of you,

so you're gonna have
to wait in line.

No. No, no, no.

My hearing is tomorrow.

So why are you
coming to me?

Because Donna says

you're the best researcher
in the firm.

Let me see the motion.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You have an office?

How do you have an office
and I have a cubicle?

Like you said,
I'm the best researcher

in the firm.
Really?

I just made that up.

I didn't even have time
to talk to Donna.

Is this all a joke
to you?

'Cause I take my job seriously.

No, I'm sorry.

Look, I was--

look, you weren't there,
okay.

I care about this woman.

She's got
nowhere else to turn--

And you can't help her
by yourself.

I can.

I just prefer not to.

Okay.

You're asking to look
at private files

without any evidence
of your assertion.

Yeah, but the only way
that we can find

the evidence is to look
at those files.

It's a rickety argument.

But is there a precedent?

Let's go see
if we can find one.

Research is as much art
as science,

so we're gonna look
at privacy and harassment law

so you can find a combination
of cases

to make an argument.
I'll take privacy.

I'll take harassment law.

This'll take a while.

We're gonna need dinner.

- Chinese.
- No.

I can afford Chinese
on my own.

This is on the firm.
I want Sushi.

Ooh.

So they told me to put
my top investigator on it.

- What did you do?
- What could I do?

You were out of the country,
I gave them Luderman.

[Laughs]

By the way,
that dress...

What, this old thing?
Come on.

Beautiful.

Vanessa, why don't we do this
more often?

'Cause it always ends
the same way.

Then why are we
doing it now?

Harvey,
I don't sleep around.

And I could never be
in a relationship with you.

All you ever think about
is yourself.

I'm thinking about you and me
right now.

Please.
I insist.

But I'm a gentleman.

Besides, you came through

on Dockery for me,
and I'm not one

to forget a favor.

Neither am I.

Mr. Dockery,
you naughty, naughty boy.

[Laughter]

You remember when I said
you thought you were too smart

to be a paralegal?
- Mm-hmm.

- Why...
- Aren't I a lawyer?

Mm.

I don't test well.
What?

I am smart.

And I know
I'd be a good lawyer.

I just--I don't know
what it is.

I can't take tests,

and I bombed the LSATs.

And even if I could get

into law school,
there's no way

I'd pass the bar.

So if only there was someone
who could take the test for me.

- Yeah, if only there were.
- Yeah.

Hi. Where are you at
with the research

for tomorrow's hearing?
Nothing yet.

You say you care
about the client,

but if you keep playing footsie

instead of finding me
an argument,

the client's gonna lose.

I don't want to lose.

Ugh.

Look, it's no use.

Okay, their investigation's
by the book.

We look like the bad guys
coming in,

putting them under duress.

What did you just say?

I said we look
like the bad guys.

No, you said

they did it by the book

and we're putting them
under duress.

Yeah.

- Look.
- Hmm.

This is good.
We're gonna have some fun.

We?
I get to go?

You didn't think
I'd let you come along?

- No.
- Good instinct. I wasn't.

But then I thought
it'd be cruel

not to let you witness
my greatness.

- Okay, can I go get my bag?
- No.

- You're a true giver.
- Other side.

Okay.

Your honor, this case
should be thrown out.

Other than her story,
the plaintiff doesn't have

one piece of evidence.

Because the evidence lies
within their personnel files,

which they're conveniently
refusing to hand over.

Those files contain
sensitive information.

He's fishing at the expense

of our employees' right
to privacy.

Please.
They don't give a rat's ass

about his employees' right
to privacy.

Sorry, that's actually unfair
to rats' asses.

Your honor, Mr. Specter's
claim that we don't care

about our employees,
though belittling,

doesn't carry any weight
as a rule of law.

True, but what does carry
weight is that an investigation

of sexual harassment
must be conducted

without any duress.

Your point?

The investigator
and every person

being interviewed
answers to the CEO

they're investigating.

That is the definition
of duress.

It'd be as if your bailiff

accused you of sexual harassment

and you assigned
your stenographer

to investigate.

Now how likely would it be

that this investigation
yielded any fruit?

You honestly think
I would harass Herman?

Well, I don't know,
your honor.

Some people have a thing
for the uniform.

Ugh. I'd like to think
Herman would come to me

before it even got
to an investigation.

I saw that.
That should be stricken.

But what if Herman did come
to you, your honor?

And you betrayed his trust

by firing him
under false pretenses?

You really think
that little of me?

I wouldn't trust you
as far as I could throw you.

Your honor.

Hand over the files...

- Oh--
- Today.

That's it.

Herman, I'd like to speak
to you in chambers.

That was awesome.

It was your argument.

I just framed it in a way

that humanized the situation

and brightened
all of our afternoons.

I feel like Michael Corleone
in that scene

where that fat guy teaches him
how to shoot that gun.

Are you saying
that I'm the fat guy?

'Cause I'm not the fat guy.

Mm.

You know what his name was?

- Yeah.
- Cordoza.

- Clemenza.
- I knew that.

I was just testing
to see if you knew it.

I knew that you knew
that I knew.

[Casual music]

♪ ♪

Train wreck.

Hey, I'm looking

for Rene.

I'm Rene.
I'm sorry.

We don't sell skinny jeans
at this location.

Did Harvey tell you
I was coming, or...?

Harvey Specter
sent you?

That's another story.

Do you know
your inseam?

I don't.
It's probably a medium.

Oh. Why don't you browse
for a while?

These are the most exclusive,

and we move down in price

as you head to the door.

Oh.
Okay.

[Clears throat]

Large?

That's not how it works.

Huh.

[Cell phone rings]

So Trevor's getting you to do
his dirty work for him, huh?

All I know is you
aren't talking to each other.

I miss you.

I want things

to go back
to the way they were.

I miss you too.
But...

I'm not sure
things are ever going back

to the way they were.

I gotta go.

What did he say?

He said things
aren't ever going back

to the way they were.

What did you do?

I don't know.

Hey.

So the files
are on their way.

We won?

That's fantastic.

So now we have a week

to corroborate Nancy's story.

Listen, I couldn't have done it
without you.

You wouldn't even know
where to look without me.

You know what nobody likes?

Nobody likes a showoff.

[Intercom beeps]

Hello.

Yeah, he's here.

Okay. Thank you.

Files are in
Conference Room C.

Why wouldn't they bring them
to my cubicle?

They're trying to bury you
in paperwork.

Well, they picked
the wrong guy.

If they didn't, I did.

Get it done
by the end of the week.

I got to run
and charm our new client.

[Sighs]

Nice to finally meet you.

Jessica says you're
gonna sweep me off my feet.

I'll do my best,
Mr. Dockery.

You got a nice serve there.

Working on it.

What the hell is this?

It's you having sex
with a woman

who isn't Mrs. Dockery.

Are you trying
to blackmail me?

You asked my firm
where you're vulnerable

to corporate takeover.

That's it right there.

What are you pulling here?

Your wife owns 10%

of the company's
voting shares.

You've been seeing this woman
and several others

for quite some time.

How do you think
your wife's gonna vote

after she finds out?
Who says she has to find out?

My investigator got these
within a week.

What do you think
a motivated competitor's

gonna dig up in a year?

I have a solution.

Trade her your preferred shares,

which have no voting rights,

for her common shares,
which do.

The preferred shares
are worth $2 million more.

A fraction
of what you'll lose

if you get voted
out of your company.

John, I don't care
if you sleep

with every woman
in the Hamptons.

Just give her
the preferred shares.

Jessica said you were gonna
charm me to get my business.

I'm not interested
in getting your business.

I'm interested
in keeping it.

I know where
they don't want us to look.

Did you get through
all those files in one night?

I would have done it faster,

but I ordered a pizza.

Speaking of which,
have you ever had

the cheese in the crust?

Because it blew my mind.
What'd you find?

There was a dismissal
on March 12th, 2005.

But the file with the employee
name on it is missing.

It's our woman.
I know it is.

I'm moving to slap sanctions

on their attorney,
possible jail time.

Guy's not gonna know
what hit him.

Dennis, it's Harvey Specter.

Did you have anything to do
with the March 12, 2005 files

left out of discovery?

If they're here by noon,
I'll believe you.

If not,
we're filing for sanctions.

Threat of sanctions is better
than filing for sanctions.

That's what I meant.
Threaten, not file.

Who would mean that?

Shave.

Have you ever heard
of this woman?

Joanna Webster?

No. Why?

The company's trying
to hide her from us.

You think Hunt did
the same thing to her

that he did to me?
Yes.

Then you have to make her
come forward and say so.

Yeah.
That's the plan.

Thank you.

Joanna Webster?

Can I help you?

Hi.
My name's Mike Ross.

I'm a--
I'm a lawyer.

I have some questions for you

about your time
at Devlin McGreggor.

Please. Look, just let me
tell you a story

about my client, okay?

Fine. Just a second.

Mr. Ross,

what happened to me
happened six years ago.

It was horrible,

and there was a reason
I didn't do anything

about it.

They'll put me on that stand

and attack me,
and I don't want that.

Ms. Webster, Joanna,

this man is a predator,

and if you don't help stop him,
he will do it again.

All you have to do
is give a deposition.

I'm sorry.

I can't do it.

What happened
with the witness?

Uh, I failed...

To not be awesome.

I got her to testify!

You should have seen me.
I tried everything.

He'd do it again,

I'd be with her every step
of the way...

Nothing worked.

And then it hit me.

I asked her
what if it was her daughter

that he did this to.

She melted.

And you know how I came up
with that little gem?

I cared about her.
Oh.

[Imitates gunshot]
Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm glad to see
that staying up all night

doesn't make you act
like a complete idiot.

Go home and get some sleep.

I don't want you waving
that thing around

during
tomorrow's deposition.

[Clears throat]

Harvey.

How's the pro bono going?

Great. I just talked a witness
into testifying.

Really?
What's the witness's name?

I'm not an idiot.

Don't treat me like one.

You pawned off the case.

Jessica,
I've got higher profile cases--

Need I remind you
that when we first met,

you were a screw-up?

I gave you a shot
at the mail room,

led you up the ranks, and then
paid for you to go to Harvard,

where, by the way,
you jerked off the entire time

you were there,
and I still hired you.

And you've benefited
from that ever since.

Look, I closed the Dockery case,
okay.

You made a promise to me.

You broke it, and then you lied
to my face.

So let me be clear.
This isn't professional.

This is personal.

And I'll tell you
something else.

You made your bed,
you better goddamn win.

God damn it.

What the hell is wrong with you?
I need the briefcase back.

Oh, so that's what this
has been about, huh?

You don't care
about our friendship at all.

You're my oldest friend,
and you know it.

But you don't seem
to care about that anymore,

and, yeah, I need
the briefcase back.

And I'm gonna find it, Mike.

Well, I ditched it
when I was running away

from the cops
that you sent me into.

Mike.

Where you going?

To my cubicle.

No, you're not.
It's pee in a cup time.

I'm sorry. What?

Drug test.
Follow me.

I'm just gonna put my stuff
back--

Now.

Oh, by the way, my cousin
was your year at Harvard.

And I asked him
if he knew you.

It's so funny.
He didn't.

Well, what's his name?

Mitch Samberg.

Yeah.
Don't know him.

It's a big school.

Not really.

We get 7,000 applications
a year.

You think you can just walk in
and take a tour?

Oh, Mitchell.

With the slicked back hair,

graduated seventh in the class.

Sure. Yeah.
I remember him.

Time to face the music.

Yeah, what's up?

I got to get
to the Kendrick filing.

Where the hell is Mike?

I don't know.

Leave the cup
on the counter.

You'll have to leave that
out here.

- Why?
- If you take it in there

with you, I have to check
to make sure you don't have

another urine sample in it.

[Laughs]

- Where you been?
- Hi. Um...

Getting drug tested, actually.

The deposition's
this afternoon.

Before they get here, I want you
to grill this woman

about her background
for anything they might use

against her.

You got it?
Got it.

- Make her tell you everything.
- Everything.

- Everything.
- Everything.

- Okay.
- Okay.

I had been working six months

when Mr. Hunt started asking me
to work more,

order dinner.

One night, late, he tried
to have sex with me.

The next day, I requested
a change in assignment.

Two months later I was fired
for having a bad attitude.

This is ridiculous.

Wipe that smirk
off your face.

You're not even supposed
to be here.

Mr. Hunt has every right
to be here.

Now, Ms. Webster, after working
for Devlin McGreggor,

you then went on to waitress
at Hooters, right?

- Yes, I did.
- A place that advertises

the sexuality
of its waitstaff, correct?

You will have
to ask them that.

I'm asking you.

And she's not answering.
Move on.

Ms. Webster, would you say
that you're a truthful person?

Yes.

So when you said earlier
that you had never been arrested

for a crime, you were speaking
the truth?

- Yes.
- Yes, so in 1993 then

you were not arrested for
stealing $1,000 worth of jewelry

from the Willow Grove Mall
in Pennsylvania?

I was 17.
That was one mistake.

Those records were supposed
to be sealed.

So when you say
those records were sealed,

what you mean to say
is you thought

you could get away
with a lie?

No, that's not it.

You're making it seem
different that it is.

I'm sorry.
You were arrested in your past

and you lied about it here
under oath.

Is that
making it seem different

than what it is?

No answer.
Hmm, all right.

Let me ask you this,
since you've lied here once,

what's to make us believe
you're not lying about Mr. Hunt?

How the hell did you miss
that arrest?

I did every background check
we have.

Did you grill her
like I told you to?

It was a sealed record,
Harvey!

Goddamn it, I knew it.

Fix it.

Joanna!
Wait. Please!

This is why I didn't want
to testify.

They twist something
from 100 years ago

and make me look like a liar.

They make it sound
like what he did

to me didn't happen.

It doesn't matter.
All right?

I just--I need you
to testify on Friday

and keep this case alive.

We don't have time to find
anyone else before--

would you please wait?

No. I'm not waiting.

You promised this
wouldn't happen, and it did.

You never told me
you were arrested.

Don't contact me again,
please.

What happened
with the witness?

Nothing. Nothing happened.
I couldn't fix it.

So you're going to quit?

It's either that
or have Louis Litt fire me.

What are you talking about?

My first day,
Louis fired Gary Lipsky

for screwing up a case.

He said
if I did the same thing

I'd be gone just as fast.

Well, you go back
to the witness' house

and you get her
to testify again.

- I tried. There's no way.
- There's always a way.

Then why don't you go
and convince her?

Because you screwed it up.

Oh, and you don't give
a damn about the client. Right.

- That's not my job.
- Does your job

include giving a damn
about me?

Because the least
you could do is offer

to stand up to Louis for me.
Stand up for you?

I put my ass
on the line for you,

but it turns out
you may have had the balls

to get this job,
but you don't have the courage

to stick it out
when it gets tough.

- That's not true.
- Isn't it?

You've had one foot
out the door

since you got here.
What are you talking about?

I'm talking
about that briefcase

being locked in your desk.
Yeah, I saw it.

And I know what it is.

It's your backup plan
in case this doesn't work out.

You can make some quick cash
and go right back

to the life you told me
you didn't want to lead.

So if you want to quit,
go ahead.

But this isn't because of Louis,
and it isn't because of me.

It's because you're afraid
you might have to admit

that you're not
as smart as you think you are.

If you're here in the morning,

I'll know
I still have an associate.

Hey, I get
that you were upset

that I was promoted
before you,

but if you ever threaten to fire
one of my guys again,

I am going to kick your ass.

Hmm.
What are you talking about?

Don't play dumb with me,
all right?

You fired Gary Lipsky
in front of Mike Ross.

What's so funny?

Gary Lipsky works
in the mail room.

- What?
- I didn't fire anyone.

That's how I let
the new associates know

what's expected of them.

- You plant a fake employee
to manipulate the assoc--

that's it.

What?

Michael.

I want to quit.

Come here.

When your parents died,

I lost
my son and my daughter-in-law.

I was scared, alone,
and I was too old to raise you.

But I had no choice.

Because who else was going
to care of my grandson?

You made me a promise before.

You're in the door.

Promise me now the only way
you'll leave

is if they rip you out.

You can save your breath.

There's no way I'm testifying

at the hearing tomorrow.

That's not why I'm here.

- I know what you did.
- What are you talking about?

You never worked
for Devlin McGreggor,

and you were never harassed
by Mr. Hunt.

- That's a l--
- Now I could tell you

that I've got the canceled
checks or the wire transfer

or whatever smoking gun
that exists--I don't.

But I will.
And when I do,

you'll be going to jail
unless you tell me

what happened right now.

I'm the guy you tell.

All I had to do was waste
your time until tomorrow

after the hearing.

Please,
I just needed the money.

I don't want to go to jail.

Here's what you're gonna do...

Did you call
this place before?

Mike!

- Hey.
- I'm not giving this to you

because you need it.

I'm giving it to you
because I don't.

And I don't know if I'm ready
to forgive you yet or not,

but I do know we're even.

Wait a second.

I...
[Scoffs]

Well...

[Sighs]

[Laughs]

Don't.

Now we're even.

Huh.

I see you came to work today.
Nice suit.

It was a barter transaction.

I got six of them
for one little briefcase.

Listen...

I'm sorry and--

Forget it.

When I first started,
Jessica rode me so hard...

I quit once a month.

I just told you
what you needed to hear.

That's just it.
I've only ever had one person

who told me
what I needed to hear.

Maybe it's time I started
trusting somebody else.

Merry Christmas.

Is this for real?

You know what to do.

Press until it hurts.

Wire transfer from your
account to Joanna Webster's,

phone records
with Joanna Webster

prior to her testimony,

and an affidavit stating
you paid Ms. Webster

to falsely testify.

Mr. Hunt, harassment
is a civil violation.

The penalty is money.

But witness tampering,
that's a crime,

and you will go to prison,

where I guarantee
you'll learn

more about unwanted
sexual advances

than you can possibly imagine.

Do you think
this is going to intimidate me?

Even if this evidence
was credible,

who are you going to get
to prosecute

a small-time
witness tampering charge, huh?

Harvey, didn't you graduate
law school

with the current
U.S. Attorney in New York?

In fact, I did.

And I think
he might even be interested

in pursuing a case like this.

Wait, are you two still close?

Well, I was the best man
at his wedding.

- Wow.
- No, you weren't.

You're bluffing.

No.

I think I've got
some pictures...

of us at the ceremony.

Let's see.

Yeah.
Here we are.

You must admit,
I look very dashing.

This is me and his mother.

The woman adores me.

Here we are
at his bachelor party.

There's no strippers.
It was lame.

But he can't put guys like you
away for sexual harassment

and then go to strip clubs,
now, can he?

All right.
What do you want?

An admission of guilt
and a guarantee

that you'll obtain treatment
before working again.

And Nancy gets reinstated
with back pay.

- Fine.
- And a raise.

Okay.
All right.

Are we done?

The kid should be able
to grow up without the burden

of tuition hanging over
his head, don't you think?

Which is why
you're also gonna pay Nancy

an extra $250,000.

Charles.

Gentlemen.

[Laughs]

Thank you for everything.

You're welcome.

So just one question.

Why'd you go
to Joanna's house?

Because I figured it out.

I object.

I think you did it
because you care.

I did it because it's my job.

Would you admit it?
You care about me.

I saw you smile when I showed up
for work this morning.

I didn't smile.
I was thinking of a funny joke.

Look,
we start on this tomorrow.

Does this mean
we're officially a team now?

I wouldn't move your things
into Wayne Manor just yet.

- So now you're Batman?
- Closer to him than Clemenza.

- Oh, yeah, Kilmer.
- Clooney.

Both: Keaton.

Did you really quit
when you first started?

Of course not.
I'm not a wuss.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==