Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

Man: YEAH.

[WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP]

HA HA HA.

BACK AND FORTH. BACK AND FORTH.

BACK AND FORTH. HA HA HA.

ARGH!

STOP IT!

SARAH, NO!

[GASP]

GIMME IT, ED.

WHAT?

YOU GIVE ME THAT STUPID THING

OR I'LL--I'LL--

[GROWLS]

FINE.

IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT...

I'M TELLING MOM.

NO!

DON'T TELL MOM, SARAH!

[WOMAN HUMMING]

MOM!

AS MUCH AS I HATE TATTLETALING,

I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW

ED WON'T LET ME WATCH TELEVISION.

MOM, SARAH'S FIBBING.

HONEST AND FOR TRULY.

I WAS IN MY HAPPY PLACE,

LOST IN THE VOID OF MY MIND.

EDWARD, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU

TO BE NICE TO YOUR BABY SISTER?

AAH!

DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.

AAH!

PLEASE, MOM, IT WASN'T ME.

I SEE WE'LL HAVE TO WIPE THAT SILLY GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, WON'T WE?

BUT, MOM, SARAH--

[MMPH]

YOU ARE ACCUSED OF SHIRKING THE RESPONSIBILITY OF AN OLDER BROTHER.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, YOUNG MAN?

[MMPH]

HAS THE JURY REACHED A VERDICT?

All: GUILTY.

WELL, EDWARD, AS YOUR MOTHER

I SENTENCE YOU TO BE THROWN INTO THE KANKER PIT.

NO!

Mom: SERVES YOU RIGHT.

BAD FOR ED, FOR ME. BAD FOR ED!

THIS HURTS ME MORE THAN IT DOES YOU, SON.

AAH!

I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD SHUT HIM UP.

ED? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YOU MUST HAVE HAD A HORRIBLE DREAM.

IT WAS, DOUBLE D.

I WAS IN MY HAPPY PLACE,

AND SARAH TOLD MY MOM I DID SOME--

Eddy: THAT'S REAL WACKY, ED.

WAIT! HERE'S AN IDEA.

WE GOT TO GO.

EDDY, NIGHTMARES CAN HAVE LASTING AFTEREFFECTS.

WHY, THERE HAVE BEEN STUDIES

THAT HAVE CORRELATED ASSIMILATIONS BETWEEN THE DREAM ITSELF

AND THE REAL WORLD, IF YOU WILL.

OH, COME ON!

NAZZ INVITED US TO HER SHINDIG.

WE NEVER GET INVITED TO ANYTHING.

WELL, I'M OUT OF HERE.

SO, ANYWAYS,

THE KANKERS STARTED KISSING ME IN A PIT--

I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE INVITED.

COMING, ED?

YOU BETCHA!

HA HA HA HA.

ALLEY-OOP!

[EDDY WOLF WHISTLES]

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

WHAT A WASTE OF A LIFE.

DID I WIN, SARAH? DID I?

BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, JIMMY.

GO, NAZZ! GO!

[CROWD CHEERING]

YOUR TURN, SARAH.

WHAT KIND OF PARTY IS THIS? SPORTS?

GYMNASTICS, EDDY.

A SERIES OF EXERCISES

THAT DEVELOP AND DEMONSTRATE

STRENGTH, BALANCE, AND AGILITY.

SOMERSAULTS, HOOPDIHOOPS, AND TIPPY-TOES.

ALL GIRLY STUFF.

OH!

TIPPY-TOES!

HA HA HA HA.

THAT'S THE COMPETITIVE SPIRIT, ED.

I'M A GYM BAG.

HA HA HA HA.

HI, ED. GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

HIYA, ED.

[COYOTE HOWLS]

Mom: I SEE WE'LL HAVE TO WIPE THAT SILLY GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, WON'T WE?

AAH!

IT WASN'T MY FAULT!

EXHILARATING.

DON'T TAKE MY MOUTH!

DON'T TAKE MY MOUTH!

Edd: ED?

ED, STOP IT.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M BEGINNING TO WORRY ABOUT YOU, ED.

WHAT'S WITH HIM?

JONNY'S MAD AT ME, GUYS.

GRASS IS MOTHER NATURE'S WALL-TO-WALL BROADLOOM, BUDDY.

JOHNNY'S NOT MAD AT YOU, ED.

PLEASE COME DOWN.

UH-UH.

UH.

GET ME A ROCK. I'LL GET HIM DOWN.

Nazz: LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY.

IT'S TIME FOR THE BALANCE BEAM.

ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

ME FIRST! ME FIRST!

I GOT YOU, BUDDY.

I GOT YOU!

HA HA HA.

LOOKS GOOD ON YOU, JUGHEAD.

10 OUT OF 10.

WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY GYMNASTICS,

BUT IT'S ORIGINAL, TO SAY THE LEAST.

HEY, NAZZ IS GIVING OUT RIBBONS.

QUIT YOUR BLUBBERING, ED.

GET DOWN HERE AND WIN ME A RIBBON.

I LOVE RIBBONS.

I AM ASTOUNDED

BY YOUR CALLOUS, SELF-SERVING ATTITUDE

TO ED'S STRANGE AND DISTRAUGHT BEHAVIOR.

AS A FRIEND, YOU SHOULD BE MORE--

RIBBONS!

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

LOOK AT ME.

I'M SO GRACEFUL AND PETITE.

PARDON ME, MISS.

I GOT IT!

I GOT IT!

[MEOW!]

I GOT IT!

I GOT IT.

Ed: I GOT IT.

HEY, JUDGE.

GET READY TO JOT DOWN ANOTHER WINNER.

COCK-A-DOODLE-DO.

COCK-A-DOODLE-DO.

YOU THINK HE'LL LAY AN EGG, EDDY?

AAH!

I AM A GOOD BROTHER. IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.

BOY, ED, YOU'RE FREAKIN' ME OUT.

AAH!

Judge: HA HA HA!

ED'S JUST WARMIN' UP.

SOME MUMBO JUMBO STRETCHIN' STUFF.

ATHLETES. HA.

GO FIGURE.

PLANK SAYS, "COULD HAVE FOOLED ME."

HE JUST THOUGHT ED WAS NUTS.

Edd: PLEASE EXCUSE ED.

FUNNY, BUT ED'S ADVERSE BEHAVIOR

SEEMS TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH JOHNNY.

SOMEWHAT LIKE A PHOBIA.

♪ LA DI DA DI DA DI DA ♪

SO? THE KID WEIRDS ME OUT, TOO.

LOOK AT HIM.

THERE'S NO REASON TO FEAR JOHNNY, ED.

HE'S A GOOD FELLOW

WHO WOULDN'T HARM A FLY.

OH, NO WAY.

HE IS MAD AT ME.

HE WANTS TO PUNISH BAD ED.

[ED SLURPING]

ARE YOU DONE YET?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

ANIMAL.

Ed: YUM YUM YUM.

[SLURPING CONTINUES]

[WHISPERING]

'BOUT TIME.

OH, ED.

WOULDN'T IT BE FUN IF WE HAD SOME COMPANY?

YOU BET!

DO YOU THINK THEY WILL LIKE PEANUT BUTTER?

OH, I'M SURE THEY WOULD.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

ED? I BELIEVE THERE'S SOMEONE AT YOUR DOOR.

COMPANY!

OH, GOODY! GOODY!

HELLO?

HELLO?

HA HA HA HA.

[CRASH] Ed: HELLO.

OH DEAR.

HA HA HA.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

AH.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

RIGHT THIS WAY, PLEASE.

HELLO!

HAVE I MISSED ANYTHING?

Ed: HELLO!

[CRASH]

HELLO!

NOPE.

HELLO!

[CRASH]

CAN WE GET ON WITH IT?

NO, PLEASE, NOT AGAIN.

LET'S HAVE A SEAT, SHALL WE?

THERE'S SOMEONE I'D LIKE YOU TO TALK TO.

HIYA, ED!

[ALARM BELLS RINGING]

AAH!

IT WASN'T ME!

SARAH'S LYING!

Edd: THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, ED.

THE ONLY WAY TO CONQUER YOUR FEAR OF JONNY

IS TO ATTACK IT HEAD-ON.

IT'S UP TO YOU TWO NOW TO RESOLVE THIS DILEMMA.

YEAH. I WANT TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

ME AND PLANK HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT THE HECK YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT.

FIRST STAGE IS ALWAYS DENIAL, JONNY.

KISS AND MAKE UP, NOW.

HA HA HA.

EEK.

YOU HAVE A MOUTH.

WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM?

PLANK SAYS THIS HURTS HIM MORE THAN IT DOES YOU.

I LOVE YOU, MOM!

AAH!

AAH!

WHAT A NIGHTMARE.

THAT'S IT.

NO MORE FREE-RANGE SOYBEANS BEFORE BED.

NIGHTY NIGHT, BUDDY.

HA HA HA HA.

Eddy: OH, ED.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? HUH?

Edd: I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS.

COOL.

IT IS SO FLAT.

A WALL, EDDY?

CERTAINLY YOU JEST.

YOU WANT TO SEE MY BROTHER'S ROOM?

YOUR BROTHER'S ROOM?

EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!

Eddy: HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TOUCH HIS DOOR?

NOBODY.

THAT'S RIGHT, ED.

HAVE A SEAT.

RELAX.

MAYBE I CAN TRIM YOUR TOENAILS OR SOMETHING.

OH, BE STILL MY HEART.

AAH!

NOW THEN.

IF YOU TOUCH ANYTHING IN MY BROTHER'S ROOM,

I'LL-- Edd: EDDY?

HOW DO YOU SUPPOSE WE ENTER THIS OUTPOURING OF RESISTANCE?

NO PROBLEM.

I GOT A KEY.

COME ON IN, BOYS.

CHECK IT OUT.

Ed: YOUR BROTHER'S ROOM IS COOL, EDDY!

Eddy: MY BROTHER IS THE COOLEST, ED.

Edd: YES, WELL, IN SOME CIRCLES, I'M SURE.

SHALL WE THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND

AND ENTER THIS LAIR OF--

WATCH IT!

MY BROTHER WAS A WHIZ AT BOOBY TRAPS.

HA HA HA.

BUT, EDDY, THE SAFE!

I ALREADY CHECKED IT, DOUBLE D.

IT'S EMPTY.

Edd: YEOW!

CAN'T YOU JUST SMELL HIS GREATNESS?

I THINK THAT IS ME, EDDY.

Eddy: LOOK AT THIS!

AIN'T SHE A BEAUT?

[PURRS]

MY BROTHER SAID I COULD HAVE IT WHEN I TURN 14.

NOT THAT IT'S OUT OF PLACE IN THIS DEN OF DISHEVELMENT,

BUT WHY IS THERE A VEHICLE

SITTING IN YOUR BROTHER'S BEDROOM?

HE KEEPS HIS SNAKE IN THE TRUNK.

HUH. THE LITTLE WEASEL MUST HAVE ESCAPED AGAIN.

ESCAPED?

OH DEAR, OH DEAR, OH--

HEY, WATCH THE CAMEL!

I SAID NO TOUCHING.

I WISH I HAD A ROOM LIKE THIS.

AH-CHOO!

DUST.

FROM A CAMEL.

WHO KNOWS WHERE THAT THING HAS WALLOWED.

AIR. I NEED AIR!

HA HA!

MY BROTHER WAS A WHIZ AT LAYING BRICKS.

HEY, LUMPY. DID YOU CATCH THAT ONE?

ED! GET AWAY FROM THERE!

WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

DON'T TOUCH ANY OF MY BROTHER'S STUFF, ED.

EVER THOUGHT OF RENTIN' OUT THAT EMPTY SPACE YOU CALL A HEAD?

OH, LOOK AT THE TIME.

GOT TO GO. TA TA.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

DID I TELL YOU MY BROTHER WAS A WHIZ AT CHEWIN' ICE CUBES?

Ed: COOL.

OH.

AH--

AH-CHOO!

PLEASE, EDDY.

I'M SURE YOUR BROTHER WAS A MULTIFACETED INDIVIDUAL,

BUT I--

[GASPING]

DID IT DENT?

I WILL GET IT, EDDY.

NICE AND SOFT, LIKE A KITTEN.

ED! GET YOUR SLOBBERING MOUTH OFF MY BROTHER'S TROPHY!

OH! OH!

OK, THAT'S IT. I PROTEST.

LET GO, YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A LUMP!

OH!

LET GO!

ED!

I'VE TRULY HAD ENOUGH OF--

READ TO ME WHAT IS ON THE PRETTY PAPER, DOUBLE D.

FORGET THE STUPID PAPER!

FIND ME SOME STUPID TAPE.

WHY, I DO BELIEVE THIS IS A MAP.

LET ME SEE THAT THING.

IT'S A MAP TO MY BROTHER'S SECRET STASH!

WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH! SWIMMIN' IN MOOLAH! ROLLIN' IN HAY!

UH...

I THINK IT'S IN GREEK.

MY BROTHER WAS A WHIZ AT BAZUKI PLAYING.

YES, WELL.

IT APPEARS TO BE SOME FORM OF ENCODING.

LET'S DRY IT OUT AT MY HOUSE.

MY MOM HAS A STOVE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, ED?

MY STOVE'LL WORK FINE.

OH, PLEASE.

THE STRANGE THING IS ALL TREASURE MAPS HAVE SOME INDICATION

AS TO ITS LOCATION.

A STAR, AN "X," A CROSS.

BUT I DON'T SEE ANYTHING HERE.

IT'S BAFFLING.

DO YOU SEE ONE HERE, BECAUSE I DON'T.

THIS REQUIRES CAREFUL STUDYING

AND CAN ONLY BE SOLVED BY INGENUITY AND PATIENT EFFORT.

MEET ME AT MY HOUSE IN ONE HOUR.

ONE HOUR?

AND I'LL HAVE YOUR ANSWER TO OUR DESTINY.

GENTLEMEN.

GREAT.

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR AN HOUR?

I'VE GOT AN ELASTIC, EDDY.

BIG DEAL.

[SNAP] YEOWCH!

WHY DID YOU PUMMEL MY DOOR WITH A SHOVEL?

SO, WHERE DO WE START DIGGING, DOUBLE D?

I CONCEDE TO YOUR BROTHER'S INGENUITY.

I COULDN'T DECIPHER THE MAP.

WHAT?

I TRIED EVERYTHING.

I EXHAUSTED ALL THEOREMS.

ELIMINATED ALL CONJECTURE.

PONDERED EVERY VIEWPOINT.

BUT THIS IS ONE MOTHER OF A TREASURE MAP, EDDY!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMART GUY!

YOU'RE MESSING WITH OUR GROUP DYNAMIC!

IT'S BEYOND ME, EDDY.

HE ALWAYS HAD IT OUT FOR ME.

HE'S DOING THIS ON PURPOSE, I TELL YOU!

I NEED THAT TREASURE BAD, DOUBLE D.

I THINK I JUST THUNK.

WAS THAT ENGLISH, ED?

HA HA HA.

LET GO OF ME, FUNNELHEAD.

Ed: "X" MARKS THE SPOT, DOUBLE D.

YUP.

HMM.

BY JOVE, HE'S GOT IT.

ED, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

BECAUSE I'M A BROTHER,

AND EDDY'S BROTHER IS A BROTHER,

AND EDDY IS A BROTHER TO EDDY'S BROTHER

AS A BROTHER I AM.

UM...

NICELY PUT, ED.

OH, BROTHER.

NOW, IF I WERE TO PLACE THIS OVER TOP OF YOUR BROTHER'S MAP,

THERE MAY BE A CORRELATION TO THE AREA OF ITS LOCATION.

HURRY UP. I'M STARTIN' TO SEE SPOTS.

I FOUND IT!

OH, NO.

EDDY, ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS,

YOUR BROTHER'S TREASURE LIES DEEP WITHIN THE CONFINES OF...

THE TRAILER PARK!

Eddy: KANKERS!

MY BROTHER'S A WHIZ AT TICKIN' ME OFF.

HEY, WHAT STINKS?

WHAT'S GOIN' ON OUT HERE?

WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?

SLUG HIM, LEE.

SHUT UP. I'M CONCENTRATIN'.

JUST CONSTRUCTION WORKERS DOING THEIR JOB, MISS.

YESSIREE.

WE'RE REPAIRING A DARN BROKEN SEWAGE PIPE.

UM, SO HENCE THE, UM,

STINK.

I'VE SEEN THIS GUY BEFORE.

LEMME SEE SOME I.D. THERE, MR. MAN.

Second Kanker: HE'S SO CUTE.

THERE YOU GO, MISS.

THAT'S ME. WALTER SOBCHACK.

A CONSTRUCTION WORKER.

GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

YUP.

SEE YOU LATER, CUTIE.

GIVE ME A CALL SOMETIME, WALLY.

[KANKERS GIGGLING]

MAN, THAT WAS CLOSE.

SO WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?

LET'S GO GET OUR LOOT, BUDDY BOY!

CAN'T YOU SEE I'M TRYING TO REGAIN MY COMPOSURE?

UGH.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HEAVENS, ED, PLEASE ZIP UP YOUR GYM BAG.

WE'RE QUITE DONE WITH IT.

IT'S NOT JUST A GYM BAG, DOUBLE D.

IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.

SHALL WE RESUME OUR QUEST?

IF MY INTERPRETATION OF THE MAP IS CORRECT,

THE TREASURE SHOULD BE BURIED UNDERNEATH THE KANKERS' TRAILER.

LET'S START DIGGIN'!

LET'S GET ED TO DIG.

THIS BUTTER SHOULD PROVIDE ENOUGH LUBRICATION

IN ORDER FOR YOU TO SQUEEZE UNDER THE TRAILER, ED.

MY FANTASY COME TRUE.

I AM BUTTERED TOAST.

SHH!

YOU WANT THE KANKERS TO HEAR YA?

NOW START DIGGIN'.

WHOA!

HA HA HA!

HA HA!

Ed: HA HA HA!

GETTING SLIPPERY, EDD!

[BELCH]

Edd: ED, CONTROL YOURSELF!

HO HO HO.

[CRASH]

I BET IT'S GOLD.

OR ROUGH-CUT DIAMONDS.

[CRASH]

IT SMELLS UNDER HERE, GUYS.

DOWN, ED. DOWN.

PUT IT DOWN.

WHAT?

GO TELL THOSE GUYS TO KEEP IT DOWN, LEE.

HEY, WALTER!

NO SIGN OF 'EM, MARIE.

MUST BE ON A COFFEE BREAK.

THIS IS BECOMING EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, EDDY.

LET'S GET THE STASH AND GET OUT OF HERE.

IS THAT YOU TICKLING ME, EDDY?

HEY, LEE?

GET OFF YOUR RUMP AND RUN MY BATH.

GET SOME EXERCISE.

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU.

HEY, GUYS!

Ed: I HIT SOMETHING!

HA HA HA. GET OUT OF THE WAY, MONOBROW.

I'M RICH!

FILTHY RICH!

LEE, GIVE ME THE STRAINER.

THESE CLOTHES ARE CRUSTY.

AAH! AAH!

WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?

WHERE'D YOU PUT THE TREASURE, ED?

I DON'T SEE IT, ED.

OVER THERE, EDDY.

THERE YOU ARE.

OH, MAN, I CAN SEE IT NOW.

MANSIONS. YACHTS.

FRIENDS.

Edd: WISHBONES?

I'M SO CONFUSED.

I THINK YOUR BROTHER'S A WHIZ AT PULLING YOUR LEG, EDDY.

LOOKS LIKE WE'VE ADOPTED SOME GROUNDHOGS,

EH, GIRLS?

CUTE CHUBBY-CHEEKED ONES, TOO.

HEY! I FORGOT WHERE I HID THESE!

WHAT DO WE DO NOW, GUYS?

WE'LL PAY YOU A BRIBE.

50 CENTS. FROM EACH OF US.

50? PAY?

I CAN'T BREATHE.

AHH!

GUYS, WAIT!

OH, NO, YOU DON'T.

I'LL GIVE YOU AN I.O.U.

COME ON! SPOT ME!

CATCH YOU LATER, EDDY.

OH, ED.

IF ONLY I HAD BROUGHT JUST A FEW MORE COINS.

YOU DID THE BROTHERLY THING, DOUBLE D.

YOU REALLY THINK SO, ED?

THINK WHAT, DOUBLE D?

Eddy: HELP ME!

ED, EDD, AND EDDY!

Man: YEAH.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--