Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

BRRR! YEAH.

Jimmy: AAH! LEAVE ME ALONE!

SOMEBODY, TURN THE RADIO ON

AND SOOTHE THIS SAVAGE BEAST!

DROP THE SANDWICH, YOU FOOL!

AND HERE I THOUGHT SELLING SANDWICHES

WOULD BE A SAFE AND INNOCENT VENTURE.

MY SANDWICH, MY SANDWICH!

MY SANDWICH...

Jimmy: SARAH, HELP ME! AAH!

I'M SO DELICATE!

AAH...

DON'T JUST STAND THERE. DO SOMETHING!

SARAH!

[GOAT BLEATING]

DARN IT. UNH!

SHARE IT WITH ME, VICTOR!

IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES

TILL SOMEONE SPILLS THE MAYONNAISE.

Eddy: THAT A BOY, VICTOR!

VICTOR, DO NOT SPOIL YOUR SUPPER

WITH THE WHITE BREAD!

SARAH, HELP. GOAT GERMS!

VICTOR, LET GO

OF THE CONFUSED AND DELICATE ONE.

HOO! YOU LEAVE JIMMY ALONE!

GLAAH!

THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER.

OH, MY FRIENDS ARE KILLING ME!

CALL A DOCTOR, DOUBLE "D."

I FAIL TO SEE THE COMEDY IN JIMMY'S TRAGEDY, EDDY.

THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY

ABOUT BEING CHASED AROUND THE YARD, THEN--HA--

UNINTENTIONALLY SLIPPING ON A--HA--

SLICE OF LUNCHEON MEAT.

HA HA!

FLUFFY RAN LIKE A CHICKEN.

[ALL LAUGH]

Ed: I LOVE CHICKENS, GUYS!

WHERE DO YOU GET OFF?

YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY ACTING LIKE JERKS.

WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE POOR JIMMY ALONE?

HE'S YOUNGER THAN YOU, YOU KNOW, AND BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

MAN, NAZZ LOOKS AWESOME TODAY.

I WANT TO WRITE NAZZ A POEM,

AND I HATE WRITING!

DOUBLE "D," MY TUMMY FEELS

ALL WIGGLY AND CRAWLY INSIDE.

THAT'S NICE, ED.

I FEEL LIKE THE NAZZES ON THE BACK OF MY NAZZ IS STANDING ON NAZZ.

THAT'S NICE, ED.

HELLO?

[GIGGLES]

HELLO.

HI...

OH, BROTHER.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, JIMMY,

GET UP, WILL YOU?

HEY, SARAH, YOU AND JIMMY WANT TO PLAY SOME BASEBALL?

ME AND JIMMY LOVE BASEBALL!

Jimmy: I FEEL QUEASY.

[MUMBLES]

HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING, NAZZ?

WOO-HOO! COUNT ME IN, NAZZ!

AH, THERE'S SOMETHING BEWITCHING

ABOUT NAZZ TODAY--

AN UNUSUAL ENCHANTMENT...

OH!

A HAPPENING OF SORTS.

SHE'S HAPPENING, ALL RIGHT!

OH...

I FEEL LIKE A DOORMAT.

CAN IT BE LOVE?

Sarah: THROW THE BALL, YOU IDIOT!

[CATCALL]

NAZZ IS AS GRACEFUL AS A GAZELLE

LEAPING THROUGH A FIELD OF BUTTERCUPS.

YEAH. A GA-- WHATCHAMACALLIT.

I'M DEDICATING THIS GAME TO YOU, NAZZ.

GEE, THANKS, KEVIN.

PLANK AND I MAKE OUR OWN DOUGHNUTS.

Jimmy: HOLY MACARONI!

HEADS UP, EVERYBODY!

HEADS UP, EVERYBODY. HEADS UP, EVERYBODY.

EDDY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, LOOK,

A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS FOR NAZZ.

A TAD PUNGENT, DON'T YOU THINK, ED?

I'LL GIVE YOU A BO--

Nazz: HI, EDDY.

LIKE, WE NEED OUR BAT FOR THE GAME.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS PLAY WITH US?

[GIGGLES]

[HEART THUMPS]

POLITELY DECLINE, EDDY.

WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE DYNAMICS

OF TEAM SPORTS.

WITH BELLS ON OUR TOES, MISS NAZZ.

COME ON, KEV, GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!

YOU CALL THAT A PITCH?

READY, KEV?

SHOW ME WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF, DUDE.

Kevin, thinking: SHE'S SO RADICAL.

Eddy, thinking: SHE CAN'T TAKE HER EYES OFF ME.

Double "D," thinking: HER HAIR IS SO CLEAN,

AND NOT FLYAWAY AT ALL.

Ed, thinking: HELLO? ECHO!

MY NAME IS ED!

Sarah: THROW THE BALL, SLOWPOKE!

DID I HIT IT?

AWESOME!

PICK UP THE BALL, KEVIN. HURRY.

PICK IT UP.

YEAH. SURE. I'M ON IT.

GO, NAZZ, GO!

OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE! CATCH IT, DOUBLE "D"!

UM...OH!

[LAUGHS]

LATER, DUDE.

SHE CALLED ME "DUDE."

SHE IS SO GOOD.

[LAUGHS]

SAFE.

HEY, STUPID, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET HER OUT!

OOF!

AH, LOOK...

HIYA, BIG GUY. ARE YOU GOING TO TOUCH ME WITH THAT BALL?

EEE! AAH!

AAH!

HERE'S HOME PLATE, NAZZ!

YEAH!

Boys: SHE'S SAFE!

I WIN!

COOL, NAZZ! I KNEW YOU COULD--

I WANT TO PITCH TO NAZZ.

GET OUT OF MY FACE, DORK.

NO WAY, JOSE.

I'M GOING TO PITCH TO NAZZ.

Ed: HANG ON THERE, MATEYS!

I WILL THROW THE FOOTBALL TO NAZZ.

Eddy: IT'S A BASEBALL, STUPID.

Ed: SURE AM, EDDY.

OOH, SHE'S LOOKING AT US, PLANK.

AAH! AAH!

READY, NAZZ?

Double "D": IT'S NOT YOUR TURN!

Ed: OK, THEN IT'S DOUBLE "D's" TURN.

BOYS ARE SO IMMATURE.

WHO NEEDS THEM?

LET'S GO PLAY SOMEPLACE ELSE.

[BOYS FIGHTING]

WAIT FOR ME, LADIES.

SHE'S ON THE MOVE AGAIN, PLANK.

OH, GOOD ONE.

NOW NAZZ THINKS I'M A DORK.

SON OF A GUN.

YOU GOT TO HELP ME, ROLF.

NAZZ THINKS I'M A DORK.

HOW CAN SOMETHING SO RIGHTEOUS

BE SO WRONG, MAN?

I SEE. SO KEVIN WOULD LIKE ROLF

TO ASSIST HIM WITH A NAZZ, YES?

NO! GO BACK. GO AWAY.

Rolf: COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY.

HARSH.

OH! ROLF POKES FUN AT YOU, KEVIN.

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A KILL-JOY.

COME. ROLF MAKES GOOD.

OH, DEAR.

IT APPEARS KEVIN AND ROLF HAVE UNIFIED

IN AN ATTEMPT TO IMPRESS NAZZ.

CAN I IMPRESS NAZZ WITH MY SENSITIVE SIDE,

AND DRAW HER A PICTURE OF A CHICKEN?

[KISSING NOISES]

DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, ED?

YOU WON'T IMPRESS NAZZ WITH CHICKENS.

I WON'T?

A RARE MOMENT, INDEED, BUT EDDY'S RIGHT.

AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WE'LL...

PARDON ME, BUT I THINK I HEARD MY MOTHER CALL.

Double "D": HEY, YOU...

HOW IT'S GOING TO BE, IS IT?

COMING, ED?

PLEASE, NO CHICKENS, ED.

Ed: I CAN'T FEEL MY LIPS, DOUBLE "D."

[GOAT BLEATS]

[BLEATS]

VICTOR CHANGED HIS NAME

TO NAZZ, JUST LIKE ME.

ARE YOU WEAK IN THE UPPER STORY?

[CHUCKLES]

L-LATER, ROLF.

KIND OF NEAT, HUH, NAZZ?

IT'S SORT OF A GIFT FOR YOU.

WHY IS NAZZ WEARING MY SKATES?

UM, YEAH, LIKE I PUT IN NEW BEARINGS,

SO THEY GLIDE REAL SMOOTH, YOU KNOW?

AWESOME.

ROLF WILL SIT TO THE SIDE AND OBSERVE WITH HYSTERICS.

HI, NAZZ!

OH!

HOW ABOUT SLIPPING YOUR TOOTSIES

INTO THIS BABY-- ALL THE WAY FROM FRANCE.

UM, GEE, EDDY... THANKS.

Double "D": I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS SMALL OFFERING,

AS EVERYONE LOVES ORAL HYGIENE.

GET LOST, NERD-O.

HEY, NAZZ, HOW ABOUT I LET YOU WEAR MY HAT?

NO, THANKS, KEVIN. HATS MESS UP MY 'DO.

AAH!

[CHUCKLES]

HEY THERE, ED.

IT'S YOU, AND I DREW IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

SHOULD I HANG IT IN YOUR ROOM?

REMEMBER ME? OF COURSE YOU DO.

HOW'S THIS TICKLE YOU?

ME AGAIN. SORRY ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

IF NEAT HAIR IS WHAT YOU DESIRE,

WHY NOT MASSAGE YOUR FOLLICLES WITH MY DANDY--

HOW ABOUT A NICE BOWL OF STEAMING PUFFED WHEAT?

Ed: A PRETTY BRICK FOR NAZZ.

NAZZ WOULD LOVE A NEW BIKE.

OR A NEW TOILET?

NOT THE BIKE, DORK.

A PERFECTLY PRESERVED HETEROPTEROUS IN AN ACRYLIC MOUNT?

WHAT'S UP, NAZZ?

CHECK OUT THE WRENCH, NAZZ.

A FEATHER?

EXCUSE ME, NAZZ.

HEY, NAZZ.

Ed: WHO'S UP FOR SMOOTHIES?

AAH!

GET OFF ME!

HA HA HA!

NAZZ, WAIT! DON'T LEAVE ME

HERE WITH THESE LOSERS!

I HAVE A FEELING OUR ATTEMPTS IN GARNERING

NAZZ'S ATTENTION FAILED TO IMPRESS HER.

DON'T YOU THINK, EDDY?

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CLUE, EINSTEIN?

BLOW A KISS TO YOUR FANS, NAZZ.

"OK."

MMM-MA. MMM-MA. MMM-MA...

UH...

OVER HERE, QUICK!

EDDY, PLEASE WAIT. OH, THIS IS NOT GOOD.

MY PROFUSE SWEATING

INDICATES THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED THE FACT

THAT NAZZ DOESN'T KNOW WE EXIST.

I SAY IT'S A GOOD PLAN.

SHE'LL BE SWOONING IN NO TIME.

BRING IT ON HOME.

SHUT UP, YOU IDIOT!

[FAINT SCREAM]

OUR VISION OF BEAUTY APPROACHES.

YOU START, DOUBLE "D."

OH, DEAR. SHE'S SPOTTED US.

YOU HAVE THE FLOOR, EDDY.

YOU'RE SUCH A CHICKEN, DOUBLE "D."

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'LL DO--BITE YOU?

Double "D": YES.

GET OUT THERE.

[HUMMING]

♪ HIT ME, HAVE MERCY

♪ SWEET NAZZ, DON'T GIVE ME GAS ♪

♪ RIGHT ON

♪ OH, NAZZ

♪ UH-HUH, YOU ARE SO RAD ♪

♪ OH, BABY

♪ STOP ME

♪ UH-HUH

YOU GUYS ROCK!

JIMMY?

OH, HELLO, JIMMY.

NICE HEAD THERE, BUCKO.

CAN I JOIN YOUR BAND?

I PLAY A MEAN XYLOPHONE.

Eddy: NO, THANKS!

Double "D": OH, LATER.

Ed: GOOD NIGHT, JIMMY!

Double "D": SEE YOU.

Eddy: THIS WILL JUST TAKE A SECOND, JIMMY BOY.

ARE YOU BORING?

GEE, EDDY, I, UH...

BORING. GOOD.

DO YOU LACK A LIFE?

I--I REALLY GOT TO--

CHECK.

PAY ATTENTION, CURLICUE.

ARE YOU UNCONSCI... UNCONSHY...

[CLEARS THROAT]

"UNCONSCIOUS," EDDY.

DEAD FROM THE NECK UP?

CHECK. CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU'RE DULL.

WHY STRAIN TO BE FUNNY?

YOU JUST NEED TO RENT A CLOWN.

OUR NEW OUT-OF-THE-BOX CLOWNS ARE GUARANTEED

TO GET RIB-CRACKING LAUGHS,

OR YOUR MONEY BACK.

I'M SO EMBARRASSED.

LAUGH, CLOWN, LAUGH.

[HONK]

Eddy: WOO-HOO! AIN'T HE A RIOT?

SARAH!

I CAN SEE YOU'RE PERPLEXED.

HOW ABOUT A FREE DEMO?

SLAPPY!

SLAPPY?

HOWDY, KIDS! IT'S ME--SLAPPY.

[HONK]

OH, DEAR.

[HONK]

OH, MY.

CLOWNS?

IS THAT THE BEST YOU COULD COME UP WITH?

THAT IS SO DORK-STORE, I SWEAR.

HEH HEH HEH.

ROLF COMES FROM A LONG LINE

OF VILLAGE BUFFOONS, KEVIN.

DO NOT MOCK THE CLOWN.

YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

AAH!

HA HA HA! IT'S ME AGAIN--SLAPPY.

Double "D": HEAVENS...

SLAPPY I AM.

Double "D": NOT AGAIN. AAH!

HELP! STOP. NO, PLEASE...

IS THAT GOLD OR WHAT?

WHAT IS THIS,

THE CUL-DE-SAC OF THE LIVING DEAD?

THIS IS FUNNY STUFF HERE.

SLAP, SLAPHAPPY, SLAP--

INGRATES!

UGH, OH...

WILL YOU GUYS QUIT FOOLING AROUND?!

ARGH...

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, EDDY?

STUPID BOX. WHO WOULD MAIL A--

HUH? HMM...

IT'S ADDRESSED TO YOU, ED.

ED GETS MAIL?

WHAT IN SAM HILL ARE YOU DOING?

YOU'RE VIOLATING ED'S PRIVACY, EDDY--

A FEDERAL OFFENSE, I MIGHT ADD.

Ed: SOMEBODY LOVES ME!

WHOA!

ED?

HEY, LUMPY!

Ed: NO WAY! THEY CAME!

MY LIMITED EDITION SLOVAK JAWBREAKERS.

LOOK.

JAWBREAKERS?

YOU DON'T SAY!

I ORDERED THEM FROM THE BACK OF THIS COMIC BOOK.

HA HA HA! SEE?

TWO FREE, AND I ORDERED IT.

TWO?

TWO?

Double "D": THERE'S ONLY TWO.

AND I WILL SHARE THEM WITH MY PALS--

ONE FOR EACH OF US.

THAT'S YOU, HE, AND I.

ED, HOW MANY TIMES DOES 2 GO INTO 3?

THINK!

[CLOCK TICKING]

[SNORING]

WE ARE 3. YOU ARE 2.

SHOULD WE TELL HIM?

HE'S A BIG BOY, EDDY.

UH-OH. THERE'S NOT ENOUGH!

PLEASE TAKE THEM, FRIENDS.

SWEET!

BUT, ED, WE COULDN'T.

THEY'RE YOUR JAWBREAKERS.

[SNIFFS]

IT IS OK. ENJOY THEM.

I WILL JUST FIND A ROCK.

YOU'RE SO PREDICTABLE, EDDY.

HAVE YOU NO SHAME

IN DEPRIVING OUR FRIEND OF HIS JAWBREAKERS?

LOOK AT HIM.

GEE, DOUBLE "D,"

I GUESS NOT.

EDDY! THE ONLY FAIR THING TO DO

IS TO DIVIDE THESE JAWBREAKERS

INTO 3 EQUAL SHARES.

FOLLOW ME, PLEASE.

[WHISTLES]

AAH!

BLUE 22. HUT!

I'M GOING DEEP, BUDDY! HA HA HA!

LET ME HAVE IT! I'M WIDE OPEN, PLANK!

OH...OH...

OH...

HEY, GIVE ME THAT BACK!

JONNY'S GOT OUR JAWBREAKER!

FOUND HER!

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW? I GOT A JAWBREAKER, PLANK!

WHAT? YOU CAN'T BREATHE?

WHERE ARE YOU, BUDDY?

GET OFF!

NOW WE ONLY GOT ONE.

ARE YOU INSINUATING IT WAS MY FAULT

THAT WE LOST THE OTHER JAWBREAKER?

FACE IT, ORVILLE. YOU FAILED.

NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.

TAKE THAT!

HEY, SLOW DOWN, PARTNER!

WE STILL GOT ONE TO--

EDDY!

THAT'S MY JAWBREAKER!

IT'S MINE!

TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF OUR JAWBREAKER!

HI.

[YELLING]

EXCUSE ME, ED BOYS,

BUT ROLF MUST DISCIPLINE THE NUTTY BOAT.

YOU MAKE ROLF SICK.

IF YOU MUST QUARREL OVER THE ORB OF RAPTURE,

IT MUST BE DONE WITH HONOR--

A COMPETITION OF SHREWDNESS.

SOUNDS INTRIGUING.

A TOURNAMENT OF BRAVERY.

COULD YOU PULL MY FINGER, ROLF?

NO.

[ED CRIES]

RIVALRY FOR SUPREMACY GIVES ME SHIVERS, SARAH.

SILENCE...

AS OUR COMPETITORS MUST BEAR ON ONE OBJECTIVE:

TO BALANCE THESE EGGS

WITHIN THE LADLE OF VALOR.

Double "D": OH, DEAR.

CAREFUL THERE, PAL.

NOT EASY, I TELL YOU, AS THEY MUST SKEDADDLE DOWN

AND CIRCLE THE GOAT OF MATURITY,

SKEDADDLE BACK TO FINISH,

AND CLAIM THE BALL OF SWEETNESS.

MMM. MMM. MMM.

GLADIATORS...READY!

PREPARE YOURSELVES!

[SQUIRTING NOISES]

HEH HEH HEH.

BE STILL, MY HEART.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT THERE?

Nazz: IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE CHEATING.

AW, THIS IS GOING TO BE RAD.

AND...

GO.

LAST ONE OUT'S A ROTTEN EGG!

ONE DOWN AND ONE DOUBLE "D" TO GO.

HA HA HA HA!

CRASH! HA HA HA!

Sarah: HEY, ROLF, ARE YOU BLIND?

Jonny: THEY'RE BREAKING THE RULES.

YES. A FINE PERFORMANCE.

CLICHE CARTOON ANTICS, EDDY?

IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT?

IT'S IN THE BAG. HA HA HA!

WHAT THE--

BRAVO!

YEAH!

Sarah: HOLY MACKEREL!

WITTY. VERY WITTY.

HUH?

HEY, DOUBLE "D,"

YOU GOT GRASS STAINS ON YOUR SOCK.

CURSE THIS PASTURE-RELATED PLANT.

COULD THIS BE?

SEE YOU, SAP!

YES! PHYSIQUE!

[LAUGHS]

OH, EDDY! YOUR HAIR IS ON BACKWARDS...

UM, OR STAINED. UM...

YES. GO ON, ED BOY.

EDDY! OH, LOOK, IT'S ROLF!

GIVE IT UP, ED.

HEY, GOOD-LOOKIN'.

WHAT'S COOKIN'?

HEY, I AIN'T DONE LOOKIN' YET.

NARCISSISTIC NINNY.

HUH?

NICE SPILL, DORK.

THE GOAT OF MATURITY IS A DIFFICULT MANEUVER.

Ed: OH, EDDY!

WHAT?

I GOT CRANBERRY SAUCE.

SUCKERS.

EDDY'S ON THE HOMESTRETCH.

I'D BE CAREFUL IF I WERE YOU, EDDY.

Ed: OH, EDDY!

[LAUGHS]

DOUBLE "D" IS GOING TO WIN!

I AM?

I AM!

IN YOUR DREAMS, BUZZ BOY.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, YOU.

Eddy: DON'T MESS WITH THE BEST.

WELL, EDDY,

YOU HAVE YET TO MESS WITH THE REST.

Ed: OH, EDDY!

ED, SHUT UP.

THE SIMPLE ED BOY IS VICTOR!

Ed: HI, MOM.

ED, REMIND ME TO LEND YOU SOME FLOSS.

FOLLOW THAT JAWBREAKER, ED.

HEY, IT'S MINE, DOUBLE "D"!

Ed: EDDY OR NOT, HERE I COME!

TOUCHDOWN!

WHERE'S THE JAWBREAKER?

OH, DEAR. ED!

IT IS LOST, GUYS.

Eddy: FIND IT, ED.

GIVE ME A BREAK, WILL YOU?

COME BACK, SLOVAK JAWBREAKER,

WHEREVER YOU ARE!

Double "D": OH, LET'S GO HOME.

I'M SOAKED TO THE MARROW.

OUR MOTHERS MUST BE WORRIED SICK.

BESIDES, THE JAWBREAKER

WOULD SURELY HAVE DISSOLVED BY NOW.

I ALMOST HAD IT!

BUT YOU HAD TO BE A MR. GOODY-GOODY-TWO-SHOES.

"LET'S SHARE IT."

Ed: FOUND IT!

ED?

I FOUND IT, GUYS!

OH, MAN, HE'S ALREADY EATEN IT!

BUT IT IS SO GOOD, EDDY.

TELL ME, ED, WHAT FLAVOR IS IT?

DOES IT TASTE LIKE A FIST?

UH, NO. IT SORT OF TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.

TRY SOME.

AAH! AAH!

NO? OKEY-DOKEY.

ED, YOU LET THAT POOR CREATURE OUT

RIGHT THIS MIN--

GEE, ED, YOU'RE SO LUCKY.

I WISH I WAS YOU.

YEP.

LIFE IS GOOD, EDDY. YUM.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

ED, EDD N EDDY.

BRRR! YEAH!

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--