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Let me alone. Let me alone.

I'm innocent, I tell you.

I had nothing to do with it.

She came down and did it.

- Come on, out with it.

And no more of that goofy talk!

A 2-year-old wouldn't believe

that fantastic story you're handing out.

- How did you know there
was gonna be a murder

five minutes before it happened?

- Mr. Jordan? Mr. Jordan, are you there?

- Who you talking to? What
are you mumbling about?

- We had trouble like this
with you once before, Corkle.

Yes, when
you were a fight manager,

handling that guy, Pendleton.

Good old Joe.

The cleanest fighter that ever lived.

- Yeah, but when he died, you
told us he came down to earth

and got inside other people's bodies.

- He did. He did!

- And all that hooey about
that invisible Mr. Jordan

who helped him do it.

- It's true, I tell you. It's true.

True, he did. Mr. Jordan did do it.

Mr. Jordan, where are you?

Look, Mr. Jordan...

Look, are you...

Mr. Jordan, are you there?

- Hey, Cap.

How long do we have to
wait around out here?

Take it easy, boys.

You'll get your story as soon
as we break this guy down.

- Now, get this, Corkle.

We don't let anybody make
monkeys out of the police force.

So unless you want us to
really go to work on you.

- Oh, let me alone. Let me alone.

I'll tell you everything!
But it won't make sense.

- Come on. Come on!

- Well, this fellow,
Danny Miller, had a show.

It was called "Swinging the Muses."

It was all about goddesses.

He made them hot goddesses,

and that's where all the trouble began.

Somebody didn't like it.

And they were rehearsing a
number at the Elton Theater,

and she heard about it and she came down.

Mr. Jordan did it.

- She? Who's she?

What are you talking about?

- That's what I'm trying to tell you.

It was at a dress rehearsal,
at the Elton Theater.

The Elton Theater!

- All right, girls, positions, everybody.

Okay, pal, make it good this time.

You're not in this show

just because you used to
carry my books to school.

- Danny, I'll give you my all.

Or what's left of it.

- Careful of those costumes, girls.

All set, Phil.

Give out with the brass,

but don't drown out the lyrics.

I wanna hear every word.

- All right, Mr. Miller.

Let us go fellows, and brighten it up.

♪ In section 246AB ♪

♪ At your public library ♪

♪ Books on Greek mythology ♪

♪ Are getting, getting
dusty on the shelves ♪

♪ It's nigh on 2000 years ♪

♪ Since we started our careers ♪

♪ No one digs us, it appears ♪

♪ So we must, we must
talk about ourselves ♪

♪ We're the Nine Muses, Nine Muses ♪

♪ And we live on Mount Parnassus ♪

♪ We're the goddesses who ♪

♪ Bring art and culture to you ♪

♪ Terpsichore, Terpsichore ♪

♪ Get with the news of the Muse ♪

♪ Da-Da-dip, sure,
sure, sure, sure, sure ♪

♪ Sure, sure, yep, yep ♪

♪ Well, hello, Jack, what's new outside ♪

♪ I just got back from a chariot ride ♪

♪ I heard I've been elected to ♪

♪ Tell you what we Muses do ♪

♪ The jive is that from way back when ♪

♪ Our kiss could inspire men ♪

♪ To sing, to dance, to act, to paint ♪

♪ It's up to us if they is or ain't ♪

♪ For instance, take a chick like me ♪

♪ They call me Terpsichore ♪

♪ I'm the goddess of song and dance ♪

♪ I put the ants in the dancers' pants ♪

♪ The nine of us in our careers ♪

♪ Kissed three million
guys in 2000 years ♪

♪ Here's an incompleted list ♪

♪ Of the characters we kissed ♪

♪ Puccini, Bellini, Antonio Rossini ♪

♪ Not to mention Mr. Paganini ♪

♪ Tellini, MacSweeney,
and Madame Tetrazzini ♪

♪ And the guy who invented
the skinless weenie ♪

♪ We kissed Schopenhauer,
Sigmund Freud, ♪

♪ Socrates, and Nietzsche ♪

♪ Thomas Edison, Robert Fulton,
Alex Bell, and Don Ameche ♪

♪ Benny Goodman, with
those knockout lips ♪

♪ Kissed the kid with the
drum in the Spirit of '76 ♪

♪ Lombardo Brothers, Smith
Brothers, Gimbel Brothers ♪

♪ Marx Brothers, Crosby
Brothers, Dorsey Brothers ♪

♪ Ringling Brothers, Ritz
Brothers, Haig and Haig ♪

♪ Daggett and Ramsdell, Park
and Tilford, Lea and Perrins ♪

♪ Crosse and Blackwell, Liggett
and Myers, Sears and Roebuck ♪

♪ Simon and Schuster,
Hammacher Schlemmer ♪

♪ Brother, there's a
half a million others ♪

♪ If you read your mythology ♪

♪ You will learn that the world would be ♪

♪ A washout ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ A big flop ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ A dull thud and a whistle stop ♪

♪ If it wasn't for the kiss of the Muse ♪

- Calliope, Clio!

Urania, Melpomene, Euterpe, all of you.

- Terpsichore, what's happened?

- Tell us.
- It's shocking.

- What is it?
- Disgraceful!

- Wait until you hear
what's happening on Earth.

A mortal, Daniel Miller,

is presenting a musical play
about us, "The Nine Muses."

- What's disgraceful about that?

- We've been glorified in
song and story for centuries.

- Shakespeare, Walt Whitman,
Robert Burns.

- But this barbarian isn't
Shakespeare, Whitman, or Burns.

Why, he's portraying us
in a low and vulgar manner

on a public stage.

And according to him, I'm nothing
but a man-chasing trollop.

Oh, no!

- Oh, yes.

And as for the rest of you,

he says you've kissed
over three million men.

Imagine that.

- How vile.
- That's scandalous.

- We haven't kissed a
man in over 2000 years.

- Except Apollo, once.

- And you should hear the
type of song he's using.

"For instance, take a chick like me.

"They call me Terpsichore.

"I'm the goddess of song and dance.

"I put the ants in the dancer's pants."

Oh, no!

- Oh, yes!

- That could only come from America!

- Where else?

Why, their number one
song on the hit parade is,

is "Who Hit Nelly in the
Belly With a Flounder?"

- Who does this savage
think inspired Michelangelo,

da Vinci, Rembrandt?

- Do you know who he's
telling the world we inspired?

The man who invented the skinless weenie.

A frankfurter.

- A frankfurter?

How ghastly!

- Well, you can all stand around

and twiddle your thumbs if you want to,

but I'm going to do something about it.

The theater is my
province. It belongs to me.

I'll show this Miller
imbecile a thing or two.

I'll make him regret the day he was born.

What can you possibly do?

He's down there, and you're here.

- There must be some way. There must be.

I know. I know who can do it.

He's just the one to help me.

- Who?

- He did it before, he can do it again.

Terpsichore,
what's happening to you?

- Of course, that's it.

That's what I'm going to do.

He's the one.

Terpsichore, where are you going?

- Come back here.
- Terpsichore!

We'll tell Zeus!

- What I wanna know is,
who do you think you are?

Popping up out of nowhere,

barging into us on one
of our busiest days?

- I told you. I'm Terpsichore.

I've come a long way,
and I've got to see him.

- And I told you he has no
time for isolated cases.

- But I'm not an isolated case.

Don't you understand?

- No.
- I'm Terpsichore,

the goddess of song and dance.

- Ha! That's preposterous.

She's nothing but a legend.

She never existed, except
in Greek mythology.

- If you don't take me right
to him, you won't exist.

I'll-
- My dear child,

don't threaten.

What could you possibly do to me?

We don't feel pain up here.

Here, here, here, you. Come back here.

Escort
3082 reporting, sir.

12 passengers trapped in a blizzard.

- Territory?

- Southern California.

- Proceed.

- Granite, Irwin.

Somerset, Nathaniel.

He's the multimillionaire, sir.

- He was the multimillionaire.

- Oh, I forgot, sir. They
can't take it with them.

- Get your hands off me, you hear?

Let me go.

Oh, Mr. Jordan, could I speak to you?

- Mr.
Jordan, I am awfully sorry.

I did everything in my power to stop her.

- Why should you try to stop her?

- Why? Why, you see,
she's not like the others.

She didn't come up through
the regular channels.

- Indeed.

- Oh, Mr. Jordan, I see how
terribly, terribly busy you are,

and I do hope I'm not intruding.

- That's quite all right.

Proceed.

Butler, Thomas. Donahoe, Eleanor.

- Supposing you tell
me what it is you want.

- Mr. Jordan, she says she's
Terpsichore, the Greek goddess.

Of course, you and
I know that's utterly absurd.

- You and I don't know any such thing.

The Muses have been the
spiritual personification

of the arts, since the
days of ancient Greece.

- We do only our best, Mr. Jordan.

- But nobody who is anybody
has paid any attention to them

for over 2000 years.

- Yes.

Messenger 7013, we don't
have calendars up here.

I've tried to explain that to you.

- It's habit, sir. It's just habit.

I keep forgetting. I am sorry, sir.

- Well, my dear, how is everything
over on Mount Parnassus?

- Oh, just wonderful, Mr.
Jordan. I hated to leave.

It was only because I thought it my duty,

that I was able to tear myself away.

You see, I want to go down to Earth

and get into a theatrical production.

- Obviously you don't
know our business here.

We bring people up from Earth.

We don't take them down.

- You shut up, you!

Uh, I mean...

Well, you see, Mr. Jordan, I
know you like to help people,

and this young man, Mr. Jordan,

the producer, is all mixed up.

He doesn't understand a goddess.

Now, if you would help me,
I could play the goddess,

then his show would succeed

and he'd make a lot of money, you see?

Isn't that a good idea, Mr. Jordan?

- I must say, it's extremely
kind of you, my dear,

but I'm afraid we can't meddle
in the financial affairs

of every man on Earth.

We just don't have the staff for it.

- There, you see?

- Oh, but I-
- Mr. Jordan has spoken.

- But, Mr. Jordan, it seems such a pity.

Oh, I'm certain that this Mr. Miller

is a most deserving person,
and I only want to help.

- Miller? What is his given name?

- Daniel.

Miller, Daniel.

If you'll just wait here a moment.

Mr. Sloan, contact the registrar's office

and ask them for everything
they have on Miller, Daniel.

- Next time, young lady,

I hope you'll take my
advice for what it's worth.

- Oh, you make me tired.

Oh, oh, oh!

I thought you
couldn't feel any pain.

I've got a memory, haven't I?

- Mr. Jordan.

On Miller, Daniel,

the official records
list him as an alternate.

- An alternate?
- Yes, sir,

he's due here on one
of two separate dates,

the first quite soon, the
other a number of years hence.

The choice depending upon
undetermined circumstances.

- Ah, yes, yes, of course.

I remember the whole case now.

I believe, Mr. Sloan,

that our circumstances have
been determined for us.

Now, my dear, you say your
only interest in this venture

is to make Daniel Miller's
musical a success?

- Oh, yes, Mr. Jordan.

I have only his welfare at heart.

- Surely, Mr. Jordan, you're not going to-

- And you will stay on Earth
until your task is completed?

- But of course.

- And then return to Mount Parnassus?

- Oh, yes, Mr. Jordan.

- Good. I will regard that
as an irrevocable promise.

You will consider this case
your special assignment.

Please start immediately.

- Me?

Oh, but Mr. Jordan,

I've been promising myself
a vacation for years.

I mean, our kind of years.

- You will forego your
vacation for the present.

Take this young lady down at once

and assist her in every possible way.

Is that perfectly clear?

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, thank you, Mr.
Jordan. You're a darling.

- Uh, do you mind if I
collect that another day?

- Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's go.
- Just a moment.

I'm the one who says let's go.

Let's go.

- We sure get around, don't we?

One minute we're up there,

and then zip,

we're here in New York.

How do you do it?

- I'll have to ask you not
to pry into trade secrets.

- Oh, another thing.

While I'm here, where am I going to live?

- Take the Peach Bloom
suite at the Waldorf Plaza.

I'm sure we can figure some way
to take care of the expense.

- Sounds like fun.

Why are they all hurrying
so, these Americans?

Where are they going?

- To see Mr. Jordan.

Yes, the more they hurry,

the sooner they'll get there.

- Precisely.

- 7013, where are you?

Oh, there you are.

- I wish you'd wait and
not go dashing about.

I'm not a race horse, you know.

- Do you think you ought
to be here with me?

- And why not?

- Well, I mean, those clothes.

They might start wondering who
I am, if I'm seen with you.

- I have tried to make it
clear to you, Miss Terpsichore,

that you are the only one

who can see and hear Mr. Jordan and me.

Oh, I forgot.

- Looking for somebody, miss?

- Oh. Oh, yes, yes.

A rather silly-looking gentleman.

He was wearing a sort
of messenger's uniform.

He was here a minute ago.

- And he's here right now,

but some people cannot
get it into their heads

that I can't be seen or heard.

I don't see nobody, ma'am.

- Thank you.
- There!

I guess that'll show you,
you suspicious little,

little...

I didn't say it, Mr. Jordan.

- A real theater.

I haven't been on a stage since 429 BC.

- You're not on one yet.

Terpsichore!

- Yes!
- Oh, no, no!

- Terpsichore!
- That's not for you.

That's a-

- What is it, Calliope?

Come on, kid, give out.

An airplane!

It crashed on the other side of Parnassus.

- Any occupants?

Men?

- I'll say. Two beautiful aviators.

- I don't care if they're cross-eyed,

knock-kneed, bowlegged.

All I wanna know is, are
they alive and healthy?

- Is she supposed to be me?

- Indubitably.

Throw them over your shoulders

and bring 'em in.

- Very well-
- It's simply disgraceful.

- Ambrosia?

What I need is a good slug of Scotch!

Now, that's not
the way I see Terpsichore.

You had it a minute
ago. What's the matter?

- Why, it is a thousand times
worse than I ever imagined!

It is still
too tame for my money.

- Too tame, did he say?

Trollop, she's man-crazy.

- That gentleman must
be Mr. Daniel Miller.

- In the flesh, temporarily.

- Well, 7013, this all has
to be corrected instantly.

You may be satisfied

with the way things
are going, but I'm not.

- Oh, Mr. Jordan.

Now perhaps we'll get someplace.

- What seems to be the trouble?

- We've to get that Jezebel
out of there and me in.

- Well, what do you suggest?

- Why not have her break a leg?

You could do that, couldn't you?

- Don't you think that's a bit drastic?

- Mr. Jordan, how am I
going to get into the show?

- You're the goddess of
song and dance, aren't you?

- Of course I am.

- Well, what's stopping you?

- What can I do?

- Go ahead.
You'll think of something.

All right, Georgia, let's
go through your dance now.

Take your places, girls, and
brighten it up this time.

- If I may be so bold, sir,

I tell you, you're going to rue the day

you ever got mixed up
with that, that Greek.

- Here comes the angel.

- Angel?

Mr. Jordan, really.

- Angel is a theatrical term
for one who finances a show.

- Oh. Oh!

Then he's, he's-

- Joe Manion, the gambler. Yes.

- Oh, dear, dear.

Then he's the one who will kill Miller

if the show fails, won't he?

- Definitely.

- For the love of Pete, who's that?

- Hold it.

- There are times, 7013, when
our work is quite pleasant.

- I anticipate nothing but catastrophe.

- What's going on here?

- She's magic.

It's fantastic! That's Terpsichore.

- What?

I need a goddess, and a goddess
comes down out of nowhere.

I wonder who she is.

- Well, Mr. Daniel Miller,
you've got two of us now.

Take your choice.

- Two of us? Choice?

Sister, you're about to lose some teeth.

- Hey, now, take it easy.

- Why, you cheap, chiseling
little hip-swinger!

I'd like to-
- How dare you?

I ought to have you wiped
off the face of the Earth.

- What?
- Now, girls, wait a minute.

- You throw this character out of here

this very minute or I'm walking!

- Go ahead and walk.

The general tone of the
theater will go up about 200%.

- Well, are you gonna
throw her out or not?

- You don't see me doing it, do you?

- Then I quit!
- Take it easy, honey.

Now, wait a second,
Danny, don't go overboard.

You looked for months for the right girl.

- Yeah, and this is just
what I was looking for.

I've heard enough.

He's gone crazy or something!

- No, no, no, stick around.

But, Danny, can this girl sing?

She's got to know how to sing.

- Let me handle this, will you, Eddie?

Honey, please say yes.

Can you sing?

- Of course I can sing. And I can act too.

- What is this, a contest? I'm leaving.

And if you wanna know the truth,

I've been looking for an out.

Ever since I got into this
thing, I knew it was a turkey.

- Go change your clothes,
and I'll give you your check.

- That suits me fine!

- Honey, I don't know who you are,

or where you came from, but...

Mr. Manion, is this what
the show needed or isn't it?

- You're rolling the dice.

- What key do you sing in?

- Any key.

Phil, will you play
"Let's Stay Young Forever"?

Coming up.

♪ Let's stay young forever ♪

♪ Let's never grow old ♪

♪ Let every kiss we
kiss be sweet and new ♪

♪ Eternally youthful
throughout the years ♪

♪ Let's be children together ♪

♪ Turn the tinsel to gold ♪

♪ Let's always be naive ♪

♪ And make believe tomorrow is never ♪

♪ There'll always be a song ♪

♪ For those in love to sing ♪

♪ But only for the hearts ♪

♪ Of those who dream of spring ♪

♪ How can our love but stay warm ♪

♪ You can turn a winter storm to Maytime ♪

♪ Let's stay young forever ♪

♪ No future or past ♪

♪ Just living for the
day from day to day ♪

♪ And dreaming that love ♪

♪ Will always last ♪

- Well, that's good enough for me.

- Where'd you come from?
Where have you been hiding?

- Oh, I just floated
down out of the clouds.

- Say, how'd you know this song?

- I heard it from, uh, from up there.

- Oh, you've been hanging

around the balcony, huh?

- How'd you ever learn to
sing and dance the way you do?

- Why, I sang and danced like
that when I was 6 years old.

- What's your name, honey?

- Terpsichore.

Uh, I mean, that's the part in the show.

- Well, yes, I know, but what's your name?

- Kitty.

- Hmm. Kitty.

That's a pretty name.

For a minute there, I
thought you were so excited

you couldn't remember your own name.

Now, if you can calm down a little,

I've got a few business
details to settle with you.

Take over, will you, Eddie?

- All right, girls, line up.

- By the way, honey, who's your agent?

My what?

- Agent.

You've got an agent, haven't you?

Who handles you?

Of course I have an agent.

- Well, who is he?

- His name is Max Corkle.

He is coming in this very moment.

- He'll be here in a moment.

- Oh, Danny, am I lucky to
get you when you ain't busy.

I want you to meet Rosebud
Truelove, the Human Pretzel.

She stands on a six-foot
ladder, does a full back bend

and laces her shoes with her teeth.

- Max, darling!

Isn't it funny?

We were just talking about him.

He's my agent.

- I'm your agent?

That's what I said. I'm her agent.

- You'll never guess what's happened, Max.

I came out and danced in the chorus,

just like you told me to and it worked.

- Oh, sure, sure, sure,

in, in the chorus, just like I said.

- Max, you rascal, you've been wonderful

the way you've handled me all these years.

- Oh, yeah, all these years.

Let's see now, how long has that been?

- Max, you mean to say

you've had a girl like this up your sleeve

and never even showed her to me?

- Well, I'll tell you,
Danny, it's like this.

You see, I've got such a big clientele.

- Mr. Miller, I'm waiting for my check.

- Excuse me a moment.

- Say, how many years

am I supposed to stand around here?

- Look, sweetheart, I
didn't know that Miss, uh,

you know, my old client.

You go back to my office and
practice your bends, huh?

- Same old Max. One of my favorite people.

- Mine too. When does he join us?

- Mr. Corkle is an agent.

That's right. We never get them.

- You're on your own now, Kitty.

I'll be around if you need me.

- Thanks for everything,
Mister, Mr. Corkle.

- What are you thanking me for?
I ought to be thanking you.

Say, why'd you pick me for your agent?

- A friend recommended you, Max.

I'm glad he did.

- So am I.

- I'll have the contracts
ready in the morning, Max.

- What's your last name, Kitty?

It.

Isn't it funny?

It's on the tip of my tongue.

- Oh, mine too.

- Say, what is this?

What are you two trying to hide?

Is there something in her past?

- Oh, no, no, no, no!

But we had an agreement.

She don't want anybody to know who she is.

- Yes, yes. That's it.

- Why?

- It's on account of all those cows.

- Cows?
- Yes, yes.

My uncle in Texas, he
has millions of cows,

and you know how cows multiply.

- And he doesn't want the family name

associated with the theater.

- That's it. Exactly.

- Well, if that's all it is,

we'll just have to give her a name.

- I know, we'll call her Pendleton.

Kitty Pendleton!

You'll be named after the greatest fighter

that ever laid on a glove, Joe Pendleton.

Came up outta no place, just like you,

and wound up a champ,

and you're gonna wind up a champ, right?

- Right.
- Then it's all set.

She gets the regular
salary the part calls for.

- The deal is on.

We sign the contracts in the morning,

and thanks, Danny.

Well, so long, Miss,
uh, uh, oh, of course!

So long, Miss Pendleton.

Be seeing you around.

Oh, Eddie. Eddie!

Yeah?

- Say, Eddie, about that client of mine,

give her a break, will you?

She's just got into town,

she's never been in the chorus before.

- Are you kidding?
She's not in the chorus.

She's playing the lead.

The lead!

- Yeah, sure. She's Terpsichore.

- Terpsichore!

The lead! The lead!

- Uh-huh.
- And I got 10% of her!

I never had a lead before.

I never had nothing but acrobats,

pretzel benders, trained
seals, and now I got a star.

Me, Max Corkle. I've got a star!

And they're throwing me out of my office.

They're wiping my name off the window.

The L and the E are
gone. Now it spells Cork.

I gotta go back.

I gotta go back.

They're throwing the furniture out,

and I gotta go!

I, I'm still here!

- I suppose you think it
was sort of bold of me,

pushing my way in as I did.

I can't say
you're a shrinking violet.

Anyway, I am glad you did.

- I promise you I'll do all in my power

to see to it your show is
everything it should be.

- Oh, I'm sure you will. Here, sit down.

Well, I, uh...

I, uh...

- Why do you keep staring at me like that?

- Staring? I wasn't aware of it.

- Well, you've been looking at
me in an awfully strange way,

ever since I came into the theater.

- Well, to tell you the truth,

I do feel something strange about you.

Why, it's almost as
if you came from another world.

Well.

You were going to tell me about the show.

- Well, yes, I'd better give
you an idea of the story,

and let you hear the songs, and-

- I think that might be a good idea.

- Well, it, uh...

It's about a...

- Don't you remember?

Oh, yes. Yes, I remember.

Uh, you see...

Eddie and I play a couple of
American aviators, and, uh-

- Yes?

- Well, we crash on Mount Parnassus,

and there we meet the
Grecian goddess Terpsichore.

You know who she is, don't you?

- Oh, I think so.

She's the most talented of
all the goddesses, isn't she?

- I don't know. I never met a goddess.

Well, the one in our show
is just an ordinary dame.

Anyway, this is the love song

I sing to you in the first act.

You see, I fall in love
with you, in the show.

- Uh, the love song, do you mind?

♪ They can't convince me ♪

♪ That you're not a dream ♪

♪ No matter how they try ♪

♪ Not even when they say ♪

♪ Doesn't she walk and talk ♪

♪ Like ordinary people do ♪

♪ I reply, can you deny ♪

♪ She's too lovely to be true ♪

♪ They can't convince me ♪

♪ That I might be wrong ♪

♪ When I confide ♪

♪ That you fell from a star ♪

♪ For every time I hold you in my arms ♪

♪ I'm more than sure ♪

♪ They can't convince me ♪

♪ For a dream is what you are ♪

♪ You're very kind and
I thank you so much ♪

♪ Not at all, not at all ♪

♪ I'm sincere when ♪

♪ I confide that you ♪
♪ Why should they believe you ♪

♪ Fell from a star ♪

♪ Well, you know very well that's absurd ♪

♪ For every time ♪
♪ It seems to me ♪

♪ I hold you in my arms ♪
♪ You're just pretending and ♪

♪ I'm more than sure ♪

♪ Quite more than sure ♪

♪ They can't convince me ♪

♪ For a dream is what you are ♪

♪ Oh, what a flatterer you are ♪

And I tell you,

you and everybody else have it all wrong.

Imagining I'm this and imagining I'm that.

- No more nonsense.

Now, I wanna know, once and
for all, who you really are.

- All right, all right.

If you'll just let me
alone, I'll tell you.

- Now we're getting someplace.

- I'm Terpsichore, the Grecian
goddess of song and dance.

- Look, I didn't land on
my head when I was a kid.

Now, come on, honey. Who are you?

- I know it sounds ridiculous,
but that's who I am.

- Oh, you're doing fine, Kitty,

but give me a little
more on that last line.

- Hit ridiculous.

- Yes, Mr. Miller.

- Okay, I'll give you the cue.

Look, I didn't land on
my head when I was a kid.

Now, come on, honey, who are you?

- I know it sounds ridiculous,

but that's who I am.

I'm Terpsichore, the daughter of...

Of-
- Well, go on, Kitty.

- Look, Mr. Miller, it says here "Zeus,"

but it's all wrong.

Terpsichore's not the daughter of Zeus.

My father,

I mean, her father was Dionysus.

- No, no. Zeus.

- That's the popular belief,

but I happen to know the facts.

It's Dionysus.

- Please, I didn't put this
show together with thumbtacks.

It so happens I looked
up this particular item

in the encyclopedia.

- I hate to disillusion you,
but the encyclopedia is wrong.

No kidding?

You know more than the
Encyclopedia Britannica?

- About things like this, yes.

Uh-huh.

- And now that we're on the subject,

you've got a lot of things wrong.

- For instance?

- For instance, you've
got me drinking ambrosia.

Ambrosia's food, nectar is the drink.

And your scenery.

Why, it doesn't bear
the faintest resemblance

to Mount Parnassus.

And as for your costumes-

- Look, Kitty, I haven't
time to fiddle around.

Do you mind?

I take you out of the
chorus, give you the lead,

and now you're trying
to run the whole show.

- But I tell you, I knew
about things like this

before your great-great-great-great
grandfather was born!

- Boy, you're really a character.

Here I am, working late
with you night after night,

and all you're doing is giving me trouble.

- Danny won't go for much of that.

- No, of course not.

I think she must've went to college.

You know how that'll ruin anybody.

- Come on.

- Mr. Jordan.

- May I ask the reason
for this unseemly haste?

- I'm sorry, sir.

But it's about that Kitty
Terpsichore Pendleton, sir.

She lied to you, brazenly, without shame.

- Oh?
- Yes indeed, sir.

She's not helping Danny Miller,

that is, Miller, Daniel,

not in the least.

She's trying to change his entire show

and fighting with him like a wildcat

every inch of the way!

- I know.

- You do?

Then surely, sir,

you will send her right
back where she came from.

- Then, of course, you
can take your vacation.

Well, sir,
to be perfectly frank,

I did make reservations at Paradise Lake,

and you know how difficult
they are to get these days.

- That, 7013,

was an unwarranted assumption
of authority on your part.

As soon as you have
completed your assignment

with this young Muse,

you will report at my office
for disciplinary measures.

- Mr. Jordan, you're not going

to assign me to Brooklyn again?

- Precisely.

- Oh, dear.

The nights are six
months long in Brooklyn.

- What do morals mean to me?

I'm a goddess.

I'm...

Oh, Danny, I just can't say these lines.

Morals do mean something to me.

- That's all very charming,
but I'm not interested.

Just stick to the script.

- And I can't stand any more of this.

The whole idea of this
scene is cheap and vulgar,

and so is your show.

Why, suggesting that a goddess

or anybody else would marry two men.

In the name of great Jupiter,

if you're going to present the Nine Muses,

there must be a way of doing it

without such stupid lines,

embarrassing costumes, and idiotic sets.

- Take over, Eddie.

Come along with me.

- Max, it doesn't look good.

- And I thought I'd given
up handling fighters.

I could put her in the ring with a tiger,

if I could find one that'd take her on.

- I wanna tell you something, Kitty.

I've gone overboard for you,

not only in the show, but personally, too.

I'm not the kind of a guy

to do a lot of talking about those things,

but you must know that's how it is.

- Well, you certainly have a
peculiar way of showing it.

- Now, I'm pushing all my
personal feelings aside.

I've got to. This show
means too much to me.

What I've got to come up with

is a good, hot, fast-moving musical

that'll pack them in.

Now, you seem to have
different ideas about it.

- And what I'm trying to tell you is,

the way you're doing it,

you're going to have a failure, sure.

- Let me worry about that.

- Why, you lead people to believe

the show's about
Terpsichore, but it's not.

Why, they'll laugh at you.

She's not at all like
you've characterized her.

- Look, I made this whole
show up out of thin air.

It's all a fairy tale,

and Terpsichore's any
cockeyed thing I say she is.

- I'd be careful, Mr. Daniel Miller.

She might hear you say that,
and she might not like it!

- Oh, she might not like it, huh?

I suppose she might come
down out of the clouds

and slap me right across the face.

- She might, if you continue to paint her

as a cheap, man-chasing trollop!

- Now, get this, once and for all.

If I say Terpsichore's a
trollop, she's a trollop!

Be on the stage in five minutes,
or you're out of the show.

- Temper, temper, temper.

- Oh, you!

What do you want?

- A very interesting little scene.

- Oh, go fry an egg.

- My, you have come down to Earth,

and right into the gutter.

- I asked you what you wanted,

and don't you have other things to do?

- Nothing that will give
me quite the satisfaction

of taking you back.

I presume from this display
of ladylike restraint

that you're amenable to the idea.

- Well, you're presuming all wrong.

I'm not going back at all.

I'm going to get what I came down for if,

if I have to smash
everything in the theater

and him with it!

- The only thing you've
smashed so far is yourself.

- Yes.

Yes, I've been obvious, crude.

- As a fishwife.

What are you up to now?

- So the gentleman has gone
overboard for me, has he?

Perhaps I'll swim around
with him, a little bit.

- None of that, now.

You dare to lie to him and lead him on,

and I'll, I'll tell him just what-

- You'll do no such thing.

You can't be seen or heard, remember?

- Oh, dear, dear. That poor young man.

- So I guess that takes care of you.

- Honey, Kitty, Danny's
talking about throwing you,

uh, who you talking to?

Oh, uh, uh, just the wind.

It's a silly little habit of mine.

Oh, sure, sure.

Lots of us got funny habits like that,

but don't let anybody catch you,

especially as it's just standing still.

It ain't even blowing.

- I'll remember that, Max.

- Now, about you and Danny?

Don't worry about that.

I know, but I do!

That poor young man.

Psst!

- I'm sorry, Danny, and Eddie.

I've thought it all over and
now I know which one of us

is really running the show.

- All right.

We'll skip the dialogue,
go right into the number.

Pick it up, will you, Phil?

Females?

One head, but two faces.

♪ I want to marry the two of you ♪

- Get a load of that dame.

- I think she's weird.

♪ Why not ♪

♪ Maybe you've got something
that he hasn't got ♪

- What?

- I'd like to tell her,
but it's not in the plot.

♪ You're strong, you're gentle ♪

♪ He's virile, you're mental ♪

Thank y'all.

♪ You're a dreamer, he thinks ♪

♪ You're handy, he ♪

- Okay, sunshine. I know all
about that sort of thing.

- Ha, ha, ha.

♪ This marriage could make me
the happiest of creatures ♪

- She must be the character
that started double features.

- Hey, students, what
about the jurisprudence?

- You mean the law?

Oh, the law. Why, that's a bore.

♪ There's a law against
sitting on the grass ♪

♪ Against petting in the park ♪

♪ Laws prohibiting beating wives ♪

♪ Thereby inhibiting a
million guys' lives ♪

♪ If anything's fun, the
law's suppressed it ♪

♪ Tell me what you've done,
and I'll get you arrested ♪

♪ Laws that Congress passes,
to me, don't matter a bit ♪

♪ They do not apply to Parnassus
or the situation to wit ♪

- She's in again with that marriage kick.

- What's the matter?
Don't you wanna do it?

No, but you talked us into it.

♪ Nevertheless, we state ♪

♪ Just to keep the record straight ♪

♪ This can't be legal, ♪

♪ It sounds too good ♪

♪ This can't be legal,
we're knocking on wood ♪

♪ I remember Uncle Harry ♪

♪ When he tried to marry more than one ♪

♪ Where did he wentin' ♪

♪ I send postcards to San Quentin ♪

♪ Up here, it's lawful,
what's more, it's nice ♪

♪ Bet she keeps a drawer
full of old shoes and rice ♪

♪ Let's buy a wedding
gown we agree upon ♪

♪ We'll pick it out ♪

♪ I'll put it on ♪

♪ This can't be legal ♪

♪ Get out the ipso, look
up the facto, John ♪

- Well, what do you think?

This must be that new thing

everybody's talking about.

- You know, this might work out all right

if you don't hang around too much.

- Funny, I was thinking
the same thing about you.

- Looking after my interests?

- Once a pal, always a pal.

Pardon me, while I
get the knife out of my back.

- Well, I had to put it someplace.

It might get rusty.

You kidder.

- Fellas?
- Hmm?

- Second chorus.

♪ I'll get two kisses
from two pairs of lips ♪

♪ Two little mink coats,
in case one rips ♪

♪ I will have a man for lovin' ♪

♪ And a man to fix the oven too ♪

♪ One with endurance ♪

♪ The other with plenty
of life insurance ♪

♪ I'll have two
mother-in-laws advising me ♪

♪ I'll lace their gloves on ♪

♪ I'll referee ♪

♪ If it does not work out,
we can leave her flat ♪

♪ Double alimony, what's wrong with that ♪

♪ This can't be legal ♪

♪ It's murder in the first degree ♪

- What do you think now?
- Oh, this is fine.

You with the oven, and me with the lovin'.

- Now, just a minute.

How about you with the oven?

- No, no, you're the man for the oven.

Now, don't move, you're
perfect as you are.

Ah, you moved!

- Now, wait a minute.

Let's get back to that oven routine.

- Oh, you're in.

I hear you make a
beautiful upside-down cake.

Love to, but the blood
rushes to my head.

Well, never mind then.

Just some juice and coffee in the morning.

Bring it up.
- And what'll you be doing?

- Oh, just dusting and
brushing things off.

- Fellas!
- Hmm?

- Break it up. You're on.

♪ This can't be legitimate,
it must be a trap ♪

♪ Let's try a bit of it ♪

♪ Don't be a sap ♪

♪ We can share and share alike ♪

♪ In every little thing
the three of us do ♪

♪ That's altruistic, but
aren't you too optimistic ♪

♪ I'll stand beside you
through storm and strife ♪

♪ For your protection,
I'd lay down my life ♪

♪ Suppose I'm insulted by a nasty man ♪

♪ I'll run and get him as fast as I can ♪

♪ This can't be legal ♪

♪ Refer to the case of Jones v. Fleegle ♪

♪ At night in my cozy
little bed, I'll lie ♪

♪ And dream of both of
you sleeping at the Y ♪

♪ What'd she say ♪

♪ At night, in my cozy
little bed, I'll lie ♪

♪ And dream of both of
you sleeping at the Y ♪

♪ I want to marry the two of you ♪

- Get a load of that dame.

- I think she's weird.

♪ If this is legal ♪

♪ It couldn't happen to four nicer guys ♪

♪ Let's never grow old ♪

♪ Let every kiss we
kiss be sweet and new ♪

♪ Eternally youthful
throughout the years ♪

♪ Let's be children together ♪

♪ Turn the tinsel to gold ♪

♪ Let's always be naive ♪

♪ And make believe tomorrow is never ♪

♪ There'll always be a song
for those in love to sing ♪

♪ But only for the hearts of
those who dream of spring ♪

♪ How can our love but stay warm ♪

♪ You can turn a winter storm to Maytime ♪

♪ Let's stay young forever ♪

♪ No future or past ♪

♪ Just living for the
day, from day to day ♪

♪ And dreaming that love ♪

♪ Will always last ♪

- I hate to disturb you,
Danny, but it's confidential.

- Excuse me, Kitty.

- It's about Kitty.

- What about her?

- She's still working on
you, to change the show.

- Now, you keep saying that,

but it doesn't make any sense.

Why would she wanna do that?

- Because she's the kind
of a girl who won't play

unless she has all the marbles.

- Look, Eddie, we've had
only one fight in our lives,

when we were kids.

I don't wanna have another one with you,

because you licked me that time.

Let's just stay friends, huh?

I, uh, I think I'll do a little work.

- Feeling better, Eddie?

- Oh, yes, yes. I feel fine.

- Well, we'll see if we can't do something

to change all that.

Do you mind?

- What brought you out here?

- It worked, didn't it?

- What worked?

- Oh, I know what Eddie told you.

- Oh, you do, huh?

- Yes, and I'll tell you
something that may surprise you.

I think he's right.

- Say, are we talking
about the same thing?

- Of course.

I've been willful, selfish, and stubborn.

And maybe a little ungrateful.

If you're gonna
to break down like that,

I guess maybe I ought to.

I don't mind telling you,

I've been kind of bullheaded
and stubborn myself.

- Oh, but you have a right to be.

After all, what
do I know about the theater?

And as you said,

I'm just a little nobody
you took out of the chorus.

- Oh, I don't know, you,

you've had a couple of pretty good ideas.

Now
you're just being nice to me.

- You know, I've been
giving a lot of thought

to what you've been saying all along.

Maybe the public won't like my taste.

Maybe I'm just a Broadway mug after all.

- No, you're an artist.

Well, you could be, if you reached out.

Anyway, I just had a silly idea

they wouldn't like it your way.

- Maybe you're right.

- No.

Let's not keep talking about the show.

Don't you ever think of anything else?

Look at that moon.

It's like a million-dollar gold piece.

- Maybe I'm trying to make
the show too low-down.

- What wonderful air. It's like wine.

- You know, audiences'
tastes might have changed.

- Oh, Danny.

- Excuse me, sir.

- Oh.

- Eddie?

- Yeah.

- I don't know what it is, but he,

he just doesn't like me.

No, I,

I guess not.

- Well, I guess I'll go in,

and let you figure it out.

Aren't you going to say good night?

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Come here, you.

♪ Hail, mortal ♪

♪ Fallen from clouds as a winged Icarus ♪

♪ On the Mount of Parnassus ♪

♪ Terpsichore, Terpsichore ♪

♪ Look once more on the
daughters of Dionysus ♪

♪ Whose kiss inspired
the beauty of the world ♪

- Well, what do you think, Danny?

- Oh, I don't know.

We didn't even get enough
applause to take bows.

Half a dozen of 'em walked
out during the first act.

- Well, you can't tell, Danny.

They might've been people
who had appointments,

like doctors or something.

Thanks, Eddie.

- My dear, magnificent. Magnificent.

- Sheer poetry, poetry of movement.

- Why, every scene, a painting.

- My dear, I'm Mrs. Fenimore Hume,

President of the Pure Art Forum.

I wonder if you would come

to a little intimate
gathering at my house,

a sort of a late supper?

- I'd be delighted.

Danny, do you mind if I go?

- No, go ahead. Sounds like fun.

- I'll only be a minute.

- Brother, if those longhairs
go for it, you're dead.

- Hello, Mr. Manion. Have a good seat?

- Yeah, I saw and heard everything.

- This was just a tryout, Mr. Manion.

Don't judge by this.

Remember, our understanding
was New York.

- That's right.

Nobody's rushing you.

- Thanks very much.
- The manager says

they're tearing it to shreds in the lobby.

What'll we do, post a notice?

- No, no, I just want
a little time to think.

Have everybody on-stage
tomorrow morning at 10 o'clock.

I'm going for a walk.

- Can I drive you anyplace, Danny?

- No thanks. Not tonight.

- And that guy never looked
at a dame before in his life!

- Good morning.
- Morning.

- Good morning, everybody.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Morning, Miss Pendleton.

- Good morning, everybody.

What's wrong with you people?

Why is everybody so glum?

- Haven't you read the notices?

No. Why?

- She hasn't read the notices.

- "Swinging the Muses,
although lovely in spots,

"resembles a Bach festival

"and should've been
presented at Symphony Hall

"where the audience is
at least forewarned,

"so that they can sleep
through the performance."

- And listen to this.

"As for myself,

"I can take about 20
minutes of Greek classic,

"but two hours would get anybody down."

How dare they?

What do they know of the arts?

I see it as a great triumph.

We've given something
beautiful to the theater.

- Yeah, our blood.

- But there's a line at the box office

all the way down the street.

- They're the people who
bought tickets in advance,

asking for their money back.

- We had a great show,

and you butted in and made
it so darned highbrow.

- Highbrow?

Ha!

I was warned about your country.

How can you mix art with jive
and baseball and hot dogs?

- Huh! Get her.

The show busts, so she
don't live here anymore.

- Hold it. Hold it, everybody.

This'll get us no place.

Now, look, kids, when I got
all of you into this thing,

I was sure we had every
chance for a smash.

I knew what I wanted then,
and I know what I want now.

We're going to go back to
the show exactly as it was

before I got side-tracked.

We're gonna throw all
this phony art overboard

and stay out of town, rehearsing,

until we've got it whipped into shape.

It's gonna be everything
it started out to be.

A show for people who like
jive and baseball and hot dogs.

Now, one more thing.

From now on, there's going
to be nobody around here

acting like a goddess.

I'm the boss. What I say goes.

Now, if there's anybody who
doesn't like it that way,

now's the time for them to say so.

Well?

- Mr. Miller, the show is all yours.

- All right, that's that.

Before I look anyplace else,

I'm gonna try every one
of you kids for the lead.

- Hello, Kitty.

- Oh, Mr. Jordan.

You're just the one I want to see.

- So I imagined.

- I want to go back, right away.

- Oh, surely you don't want to leave now,

just when he needs you most?

- I do. I want to leave at once.

- But you told me you wanted to help him.

Was my sole reason for
letting you come down.

- Well, I lied to you, Mr. Jordan.

I wasn't interested in
him, not for a second.

I came down for purely selfish reasons.

I wanted to change the show,

and that's all I was interested in.

- I know.

- And still you let me go ahead?

- I had a feeling it'd work out all right.

- But it hasn't.

It's worked out all wrong,

and I don't intend to tolerate
his arrogance any longer.

- I don't think you'll
go back, not right now.

- Mr. Jordan, you
underestimate my emotions.

I told you I hate the man.

I loathe him.

- I'm not sure of that either.

You see, you're not in
possession of all the facts.

- What facts?

- Well, if you'll allow me,

I'd like to take you back
in time a few months.

There's something quite
important that happened then,

that I think you should know about.

- What happened?

- You'll see.

He's on almost every
number, but the right one.

13 will win.

- Why don't you tell him?

- This is quite a while
ago. I wasn't even here.

- I'll tell him, then.

- He can't see or hear you.

Besides, you haven't met him yet.

- Oh.

- 13.

Just as you predicted.

- I'm not the only one who knew.

The wheel is crooked.

- What is it? What's the matter?

They thought Danny came in
with some regular patrons,

and they extended him credit.

He's lost $20,000 and can't pay.

- Well, I don't understand
what any of this

has to do with me.

- Come along, you'll see.

Would you like to hear
what they're saying?

- Yes, I would.

- Why did you keep on playing
when you ran out of money?

Well, I thought I might win.

- Well, you didn't.

- I'd like to talk to
you alone, Mr. Manion.

Spike, get going.

- Just a minute. We're
supposed to be partners.

I have a half-interest
in this little palace.

- I said, get going.

Okay, let's have it.

- Well, it's pretty simple.

I'm Daniel Miller.

I had to get hold of $100,000 right away.

What for?

- To put on a show.

I've had a couple of failures,

and the boys with the money
kind of ran out on me,

but I still have plenty of confidence

in the show and in myself.

If you could come-
- That's very touching,

but unless I have my
20,000 by tomorrow morning-

- You'll have one of your
gorillas bump me off.

You've been
seeing too many movies.

- Oh, I think I know how
you operate, Mr. Manion.

I figured all that out
before I came up here.

Oh, you did?

- And I also figured out if I didn't win,

you'd put up the $100,000,
for a piece of the show.

- Now, where did you ever
get an idea like that?

- Because you're a gambler.

You lose $100,000 on the turn of a card.

- Turning cards is my business.

Goodbye, Mr. Miller.

Go out that door.

- Course, Mr. Manion,

if anything should happen to me now,

with all those witnesses out there,

you'd be a cinch for the electric chair.

Go on.

- On the other hand, you back the show,

and I'll guarantee it with a note.

You haven't any money.

What good is your note?

- Oh, this one's very
good, it's a suicide note.

- A suicide note?

- That's right.

If the show fails,

you can have one of your
boys take care of me,

plant the note, in my own
handwriting, on my body,

you're in the clear with the police.

Doesn't that appeal to
your gambler's instinct?

- So you want to stake
your life against my money?

Is that it?

That's the idea.

At least you know I'll work pretty hard

to put the show over.

- All right. I'll play with those chips.

Sit down.

And start writing.

- No one is responsible
for my death but myself.

I've taken my own life, because.

- And so you see, Kitty,

that's the reason I've concerned myself

with this young man.

I've always felt that he
had a great deal to offer,

both to life and to the theater.

It'd be a pity to take him away too soon.

- Yes.

- The choice is up to you, Kitty.

With you in the New York
opening, it can't fail.

- But what'll I do?

Will he take me back now?

- I'm quite sure it's worth trying.

Good luck, my dear.

And do it his way this time.

- I'm the daughter of Zeus.

- I'm sorry, honey, it,

it's just too much for you.

Anyone else, Eddie?

- Yes.

One more.

- What do you want?

- I want to come back.

- You're too late.

- Oh, Danny, wait, please. Danny.

- You walked out. Now you can stay out.

- But you haven't found anyone else.

You need me.

Like a hole in the head.

- Oh, Danny, you've got to listen to me.

- What are you following me for?

What are you after now?

You still in love with me?

- I didn't realize what
any of this meant to you,

but now I do,

and all I want to do is help.

I'll do anything, anything you say.

It's unimportant what you think of me.

Do it for yourself, for the show.

Please, Danny.

- You say you'll do anything I say?

- Yes, Danny.

- You'll sing my way?

- Yes, Danny.

- Dance my way?

- Yes, Danny.

- Wear anything I want you to wear?

- Yes, Danny.

- All right.

You open in New York, Thursday night.

- They say it received bad
notices in Philadelphia.

- Oh, Jack, I understand they changed it.

I heard good reports.

Please, sir.

- It was rumored, some sort of trouble

with the leading lady.

- Thank you.
- I adore musicals.

I'm so tired of thinking.

- Darling, you've lost
weight, haven't you,

or is that a new dress?

- Good luck, Mr. Miller.
- Best of luck, boss.

- Hope you have a smash, Danny.

- Thanks, girls. Thanks
for staying with it.

I love all of ya.

Honey, see you a minute? It's Danny.

- Hello, Danny.

I hope it's wonderful.

- Well, if you come through
like you did in dress rehearsal,

we'll have 'em tossing
their wives in the air.

- I'll do my very best, Danny.

- I know you will.
- Curtain! Curtain!

- Okay. Luck again, honey.

- Good luck, Danny.
- You too.

- Gee, I'm scared stiff.

- Boy, I thought I had
butterflies in my stomach before,

but now they're wearing roller skates.

Hey, don't bother her, Max, she's on soon.

- Yeah, yeah. I know, I know.

- Who is it?

It's Max, honey.

Come in.

- This is Mr. Kelly. He's a detective.

- A detective?

- You owe $1,800 to the
Waldorf Plaza Hotel, lady.

You had a pretty expensive suite.

You skipped to Philadelphia,
and we haven't seen a dime.

Well, I, I...

- Tell him about your uncle in Texas,

the rich one with all the cows.

- Don't give me those cows, lady.

None of your stories check.

The switchboard operator
says you got no phone calls.

The desk says you got no letters.

You've got no boyfriends,

and you've got no relatives.

There's something phony about you.

Come on, now, who are you?

Where did you come from?

- Well, I have to go on in a few minutes.

- You have a lot to explain,

or you'll be on your way
to jail in a few minutes.

Come on, now, out with it.

- Well, a, a gentleman friend

told me to take the Peach Bloom suite.

He said everything would be taken care of.

- Who? What's his name?

- Um.

Well, he has no name.

He's a messenger, number 7013.

- Yeah? What kind of
messenger, Western Union?

- Look, honey, he's got to know the truth.

You got to tell us both who you are,

or he won't let you go on with the show.

- All right. All right.

I don't know how I can
make you believe it,

but I'm Terpsichore, the Grecian goddess,

and I came down from Mt. Parnassus to, to-

- You know, on opening
nights, people get excited,

and they say a lot of crazy things.

- But I'm not saying crazy things, Max.

It's all true.

How could I suddenly come out of no place

and pick you for my agent?

How could I sing and dance like I do,

and then nobody ever heard of me?

- Now, look, sweetheart,

I'm just like your father.

You'd better get hold of yourself.

I've heard you talking to people,

when nobody was around.

Course, I understand,
but some people don't.

- I'm one of them. Okay, let's go.

- Let me alone! I have to go on!

- Having trouble, Kitty?

- I certainly am having trouble.

Thank goodness you're here.

- Is there somebody with us?

- Yes. Now everything
will be taken care of.

What'll I do? What'll I
tell them, Mr. Jordan?

- Mr. Jordan! He's here?

You know him?
- Of course.

- Holy jumping, then that explains

how all these goofy
things've been happening!

Mr. Jordan is here again.

Hello, Mr. Jordan. How are you?

Eh, uh...

She can see him, but I can't.

- Oh, I see. That explains everything.

- Well, sure it does!

If she's a friend of Mr. Jordan's,

then she's a goddess or
whatever she says she is.

Ain't that right, Mr. Jordan?

- Hey, what's going on around here?

- Oh, look, you don't
know who Mr. Jordan is.

He was a friend of Joe's,

that fighter I handled, Joe Pendleton.

Well, when Joe died,

Mr. Jordan brought him down to Earth

and put him inside other people's bodies.

I heard from Joe last week, Mr. Jordan.

He, he's in, he's in Sacramento.

He, he's using Murdock's body.

He got a, got a couple of kids.

He's doing fine.

- Doing fine? You said he died.

- He did!

He was killed in an airplane crash,

and then he was cremated.

- You're nuttier than a fruitcake,

the two of you.

What do you think you're pulling?

You're coming with me, and you are too.

- Ask Mr. Kelly if he'll accept
payment for the hotel bill.

- Mr. Jordan wants to know if you'll,

if you'll accept money.

- Oh, he does, huh? It's 1,800 bucks.

Has Mr. Jordan got it in his pocket?

Or maybe he ain't got pockets.

- I only got 90 bucks.

- Tell Max to answer the telephone.

- Max, Mr. Jordan says
to answer the phone.

- The phone, it ain't ringing.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Corkle.

Oh, hello, Sam.

It's Sam Hooper, the bookie.

How'd he know I was here?

What, Sam? Pacific Handicap?

No, I didn't call you.

No. No, I don't want to place a bet, Sam.

Wait a minute.

- Tell him to bet his
$90 on Chickie's Choice.

- Mr. Jordan says to bet
your $90 on Chickie's Choice.

- Hold it. Chickie's Choice?

Oh, look, Mr. Jordan, please, look,

Chickie's Choice is a rank outsider.

Look, a 20-to-1 shot.

Look, a dog.

- Go on, do as he says.

- Oh, all right.

Hello, Sam?

Um, 90 bucks on the
nose, Chickie's Choice.

Yeah.

Do you want to place a bet, Mr. Kelly?

The race'll be on a few
minutes, California time.

- I'm not taking tips from
a guy that ain't even here.

- That's it, Sam.

- My last 90 bucks, Chickie's Choice.

Yeah.

Well, if we win, there's your 1,800 bucks.

Yeah, that's right, Mr. Jordan.

Exactly 1,800 bucks.

- Kitty, turn on the radio.

There they go!

It's Donny Dear going to the front,

Jackter is second, Count Saffron is third,

Glory Girl, fourth, Montague II is fifth,

Pancho, sixth, and
Waterboy on the outside.

- Where's Chickie's Choice?
- And at the first turn,

it's Donny Dear still
in front by two lengths!

Waterboy on the outside
is second by a head.

- Mr. Jordan, don't you think

you ought to have me put it on Donny Dear?

Pancho, Glory
Girl, and Montague II.

Into the back stretch,

it's Donny Dear still in
the lead by two lengths!

Count Saffron is second by one length,

Waterboy is third by
three-quarters of a length,

Montague II, fourth.

- Mr. Jordan, are you sure
Chickie's Choice is in the race?

Jackter is
sixth by a length and a half,

and Chickie's Choice is
next and moving up steadily!

- Chickie's Choice, you hear?
He said Chickie's Choice!

It's Donny
Dear in front by one length,

Count Saffron is second
by a length and a half,

and now Chickie's Choice is moving up!

Fourth!
- Heading for home.

- Come on, sweetheart.

Count Saffron
is second by a head,

Waterboy is third by
three-quarters of a length,

and Chickie's Choice is
fourth on the outside.

Into the stretch,

it's Donny Dear in front
by a length and a half,

and coming up fast is Chickie's Choice!

Now it's Chickie's Choice
challenging Donny Dear!

It's Donny Dear in front!
Chickie's Choice is second!

They're head and head.

- Come on, come on, please!

- Come on, you dog!

And Donny
Dear wins by a nose!

- I should've known.

- Mr. Jordan, how could
you do this thing to me?

No, no, wait. Sorry!

My mistake. It's the other way around.

The winner is Chickie's Choice!

- Uh, Mr. Jordan, would
you like to go to the races

with me Saturday afternoon?

♪ For instance ♪

♪ Take a chick like me ♪

♪ They call me Terpsichore ♪

♪ I'm the goddess of song and dance ♪

♪ I put the ants in the dancers' pants ♪

♪ They can't convince me ♪

♪ That you're not a dream ♪

♪ No matter how they try ♪

♪ Not even when they say ♪

♪ Doesn't she walk and talk
like ordinary people do ♪

♪ I reply, can you deny ♪

♪ She's too lovely yo be true ♪

- How do you like me, Kelly?

I get 10% of a goddess.

- Mr. Manion, this can't wait.

♪ Hurray, hurray, hurray ♪

♪ Welcome home ♪

♪ Hurray, hurray, hurray ♪

♪ People have more fun than anyone ♪

♪ Than anyone ♪

♪ I am simply enchanted at
what folks take for granted ♪

♪ They ignore what's
before their very nose ♪

♪ Like what, like what,
like what, like what ♪

♪ Do you stop to think when you drink ♪

♪ How the soda comes up from the straw ♪

♪ Whoever saw such a miracle before ♪

♪ People have more fun ♪

♪ Than anyone ♪

♪ Push a button there's sunlight ♪

♪ Draw the blind and there's moonlight ♪

♪ Strike a match and you
hatch a star that glows ♪

♪ Turn the faucet on and you have rain ♪

♪ Making babbling brooks
come down your drain ♪

♪ Twist a dial and what do you hear ♪

♪ Bob Hope ♪

♪ Every night, Rinso white
happy little washday soap ♪

♪ People have more fun ♪

♪ Than anyone ♪

♪ Right ♪

♪ And especially ♪

♪ When a he and she ♪

♪ Get together when day is done ♪

♪ Then people ♪

♪ Have more fun ♪

♪ Than anyone ♪

♪ Wait for the wagon ♪

♪ Wait for the wagon
and we'll all take a ♪

♪ People ♪

♪ Have more ♪

♪ Fun ♪

♪ People have more fun ♪

♪ Right ♪
♪ Than anyone ♪

- Well, kids, it looks
like we're in the money.

And if you don't believe
it, listen to this:

The Scott-Harringtons.

They're Park Avenue, and big,

are throwing a big party
for the whole troupe.

So look your prettiest.

The address is over on the call board,

and I'll see you there.

You're going with me.
I want to show you off.

- Thanks, Danny.

- Oh, this is the
happiest night of my life.

You really killed them, baby.

- I'm glad, Danny. I'm happy for you.

- Didn't hurt too much, did it?

- I had a wonderful time.

- Kitty, I want to tell you that...

Come here with me.

Kitty, darling, I want to tell you that.

That's what I was trying to say.

I wanted to hold you like that

every time I've been near you.

Even when you slapped me in the face.

- I promise I'll never do it again.

- I'm sorry, Kitty. I
have bad news for you.

I'm afraid you have to go back.

I'll be waiting for you.

- What is it?

What's the matter?

- Oh, nothing, Danny.

Nothing.

- Why are you staring at me like that?

- Oh, Danny, if anything should happen,

if we should lose each other.

- Lose each other?

- No matter how hard it
is for you to understand,

please believe one thing.

I love you now, and I'll love you always.

- Kitty, darling, what is
it you're trying to tell me?

- I can't explain it to you, Danny.

I have to leave you now.

- Leave me?

- Yes, there's something, someone I-

- Well, Kitty, what is it?

- Please trust me, and wait for me.

I'll be back, if I can.

If I can at all, I'll be at the party.

- Sweetheart, you were the tops,
and oh, what an idea I got.

Look, get those other eight dames

to come down here.

I'll book you on a
personal appearance tour,

"The Nine Original Muses."

- Take me out of here, Max.

- Ain't you gonna change?

Ain't you going to the party, honey?

- Please, Max.

- Is there anything
wrong with you and Danny?

- Please, just let me think.

- Sure.

- You did the only thing
you could do, Kitty.

- No, I shouldn't have done it.

I never should have left him.

- Well, let's tell the
driver to turn back.

- What am I going to do?

What am I going to do?

- I don't know, honey.

We can't go both ways.

- I'm sorry, Kitty. We're leaving tonight.

- Tonight?

Oh, but I don't understand.

You brought me here, and you-

- No, no, no, honey.

You brought me, remember?

- Not you, Max.

I can't go. Not now.

Nothing's settled, and
Manion, what'll he do

if I step out of the show after one night?

- Manion? Step out of the show?

What are you talking about?

- I told you, Max, I'm not talking to you.

- Oh.

Oh!

You mean Mr. Jordan is here?

- Yes, he's sitting right next to you.

- Oh.

Hello, Mr. Jordan.

I'm pleased to see you again.

- Thank you, Max.

- Kitty, tell the driver to
go to Pier 7, East River.

We haven't much time.

- Pier 7, East River.

- The East River?

What are we going there for?

- Mr. Jordan's orders.

- Oh. I see.

I'm sorry, Mr. Jordan.

I didn't mean to butt in.

Keep the change.
- Thank you.

- Tell Max to go for
the police, instantly.

- Max, Mr. Jordan says

you're to go for the police, immediately.

- For the police?

- Please, Max, hurry.

- Look.

Well, here he comes now.

- Manion?

- Yes.

- But who? Why?

- It was Spike, his partner.

He's the sole owner of the
gambling establishment now,

at least until the
police catch up with him.

- How dreadful.

- Perhaps, but if the show had failed,

he would've murdered
Danny Miller one hour ago.

So you see, Kitty, that's
why it was necessary

for you to stay until now.

It isn't necessary any longer.

- But it is.

It is, because,

because it's different now.

- You saved Danny's life.

That's all we had for you to do.

- I don't care. I don't care!

I love him, and I want to stay.

- It wasn't meant to be, Kitty.

Your mission is accomplished,
and now you must return.

That's what we agreed upon.

- But I don't want it that way anymore.

Please, Mr. Jordan. Please.

I don't want to be a goddess.

I just want to be a human being.

I want to get married and have a home

and be with Danny, always.

- Listen.

We must go now, my dear.

- No.

I'm not going. I'm not going!

- Don't fight it, Terpsichore.

- No. No!

I'm Kitty Pendleton!

I'm going back to Danny!

I'm going back!

Oh, Danny.

Danny, I've come back.

He tried to take me away,

but I've come back to you.

Oh, Danny, don't be angry with me.

Don't you understand? I've come back.

I'm never going to leave you again.

- Ah, champagne?

Don't spread this around, girls,

but this is the first time
I ever tasted champagne-

- Eddie, what's the matter with Danny?

Why doesn't he talk to me?

- Ah.

- Eddie. Eddie!

- It's no use.

They can't see or hear you.

- Please, Mr. Jordan.

Please let him hear me.

Please let him see me.

Just for one moment.

- It has to be this way.

You can't change destiny.

- Mr. Jordan. I want to cry, but I can't.

There are no tears.

Mr. Jordan, at least let me cry.

- You can't anymore.

Tears are only for mortals.

It's an advantage they have over us.

Come, Terpsichore.

- Yes, Mr. Jordan.

- Danny.

What's the matter, kid?

You've got a smash hit,

and you're moping around like a guy that-

It's Kitty's. She's here.

- No.

She was here, but she's gone.

- What're you talking about?

I don't understand.

- Neither did I,

but now I'm beginning to
understand many things.

Don't look for her,
Eddie. You won't find her.

- But, Danny, this is her coat.

She must be here.

- She tried to tell me
right after the show.

- Tried to tell you what?

- I don't know.

I sometimes wonder if she ever was real.

I only know she came out of nowhere

and vanished the same way.

- But the guy was invisible!

How could he tell you there
was gonna be a murder?

- Mr. Jordan told her, and she told me.

- Kitty Pendleton was at
the scene of the murder,

and hasn't been seen since!

Where is she now?

- Mr. Jordan took her back.

- Oh, now I suppose she's
living up in the clouds

in a civilization that never even existed!

- That's right. That's just where she is.

- Looks like we'll have
to cart this guy off

to the nut factory.

- Wait a minute. I'm innocent, I tell you.

I never saw the girl
before that first day.

She came in

and flung her arms around my neck

and she said, "Max, darling,

"just think, they took
me out of the chorus

"and gave me the lead.

"I'm going to play Terpsichore,

"and I want you to be my agent."

- Wait!

Do you expect us to believe

that a dame just bounced
in out of no place?

- Max, darling!

Just think, they took me out of the chorus

and gave me the lead!

I'm going to play Terpsichore,

and I want you to be my agent.

- I must be leaving you now, Terpsichore.

- What's going to happen, Mr. Jordan,

now that I've lost him?

- You haven't.

Would you like me to show you?

I wouldn't do this for
anyone else, Terpsichore,

but I think you've earned it.

Come.

- Where are we going?

- Merely a few years into the future.

You see, my dear, how simple it is?

Here we are witnessing the future.

And there I am, still on the job.

Look.

- Danny.

But he seems just about the same.

- The spirit never really ages, my dear.

In all these years,

he's never had a failure.

There's a legend about him on Broadway.

They say he was kissed by the Muse.

- Will he look for me? Will he find me?

Will he remember me?

- Well, let's wait and see.

- Miller, Daniel.

- Why.

Why, it's-

Yes.

Thank you, Mr. Jordan.