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1
00:00:02,757 --> 00:00:06,757
Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:11,703 --> 00:00:14,770
Come on, it's just a word.
3
00:00:14,803 --> 00:00:16,602
Say it, already.
4
00:00:16,637 --> 00:00:17,737
Alright, you got this.
5
00:00:21,837 --> 00:00:27,168
I want your hot, throbbing...
6
00:00:27,202 --> 00:00:28,603
Ugh.
7
00:00:28,637 --> 00:00:31,268
Uh-uh. No. Gross.
8
00:00:31,302 --> 00:00:32,235
And painful.
9
00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:34,603
Who would ask for hot,
throbbing anything?
10
00:00:34,637 --> 00:00:36,302
Throbbing is what happens
to your finger
11
00:00:36,335 --> 00:00:37,902
when you slam it
in the car door.
12
00:00:39,435 --> 00:00:40,769
I want it now.
13
00:00:40,802 --> 00:00:44,268
Your hot, throbbing...
14
00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:49,936
Ok.
15
00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:52,969
Give it to me.
16
00:00:53,003 --> 00:00:58,902
And by "it", I mean I want
your hot, throbbing... nope!
17
00:00:58,936 --> 00:00:59,736
No!
18
00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:01,736
Not at all convincing!
19
00:01:01,769 --> 00:01:03,267
God, Luce, it's a word.
20
00:01:03,301 --> 00:01:05,334
It's a word,
just say it already.
21
00:01:05,869 --> 00:01:06,836
Alright.
22
00:01:11,969 --> 00:01:15,534
I want your hot, throbbing...
23
00:01:17,602 --> 00:01:18,669
For the love of god!
24
00:01:18,702 --> 00:01:21,468
Cock! Cock! Cock!
25
00:01:21,501 --> 00:01:22,602
Cock! Cock!
26
00:01:22,636 --> 00:01:24,134
Cock!
27
00:01:28,702 --> 00:01:34,601
Oh... um, my friend has this
farm and there's this rooster.
28
00:01:34,635 --> 00:01:35,901
Troublemaker.
29
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,401
Alright.
30
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:46,167
Well, that is a... sentence
that's just never gonna happen.
31
00:04:14,398 --> 00:04:16,498
Wait, what's he doing
with his hand?
32
00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:18,263
That actually feels good.
33
00:04:18,297 --> 00:04:20,163
So that was an accident.
34
00:04:20,197 --> 00:04:22,230
You're so... good to me.
35
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:26,163
Hey.
36
00:04:26,197 --> 00:04:26,765
Hmm?
37
00:04:26,798 --> 00:04:27,632
Are we good?
38
00:04:27,665 --> 00:04:28,297
Yeah.
39
00:04:28,330 --> 00:04:28,831
You like that?
40
00:04:28,864 --> 00:04:29,365
Ok. Good.
41
00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:32,498
Ok, sexy thoughts.
42
00:04:32,531 --> 00:04:35,931
A cabana on a hot,
tropical beach.
43
00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:37,163
I'm getting a massage,
44
00:04:37,197 --> 00:04:42,530
which suddenly turns into
spontaneous, unbridled sex.
45
00:04:42,564 --> 00:04:43,864
With Steve Carell.
46
00:04:43,897 --> 00:04:46,864
Only like in his newer movies,
with silver hair.
47
00:04:46,897 --> 00:04:48,197
Yes!
48
00:04:48,230 --> 00:04:48,764
Yes!
49
00:04:48,797 --> 00:04:49,697
I'm coming!
50
00:04:49,731 --> 00:04:50,864
Yes!
51
00:04:50,897 --> 00:04:52,263
Wheat-free waffles!
52
00:04:52,297 --> 00:04:54,263
Shit, did I just say
that out loud?
53
00:04:54,296 --> 00:04:55,697
Huh?
54
00:04:55,731 --> 00:04:56,864
Sorry.
55
00:04:56,897 --> 00:04:57,764
Just a second.
56
00:04:59,296 --> 00:05:00,797
That was what I forgot
at the store.
57
00:05:00,831 --> 00:05:02,697
I couldn't remember all day.
58
00:05:04,364 --> 00:05:05,764
No, no, no, no.
59
00:05:05,797 --> 00:05:06,464
It's good.
60
00:05:06,497 --> 00:05:08,897
My mind is completely free.
61
00:05:09,196 --> 00:05:10,864
I'm ready now.
62
00:05:13,631 --> 00:05:16,863
Yeah... I don't think you are.
63
00:05:27,229 --> 00:05:29,430
We should get a ceiling fan.
64
00:05:30,696 --> 00:05:32,229
Hey, what're you doing?
65
00:05:32,830 --> 00:05:34,730
No-don't mess up my lists.
66
00:05:34,763 --> 00:05:35,696
Why?
67
00:05:35,730 --> 00:05:37,330
It's not like you ever finish
any of them.
68
00:05:37,363 --> 00:05:38,162
That is not true.
69
00:05:38,196 --> 00:05:39,563
Just because you're
angry, don't-
70
00:05:39,596 --> 00:05:40,396
Ok, look.
71
00:05:40,429 --> 00:05:42,296
Most women, during sex,
you know,
72
00:05:42,329 --> 00:05:44,463
they say things like...
73
00:05:44,496 --> 00:05:47,195
I don't-like, "yes, yes,
give it to me good".
74
00:05:47,228 --> 00:05:50,496
Who says that?
75
00:05:50,529 --> 00:05:51,363
People.
76
00:05:51,396 --> 00:05:52,896
People who you know?
77
00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:54,796
You honestly want me
to yell out,
78
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:56,763
"Yes, yes, give it to me good"?
79
00:05:56,796 --> 00:06:00,195
Well, it would be better
than "wheat-free waffles".
80
00:06:00,228 --> 00:06:03,262
Why don't you just admit
that you're not into sex?
81
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,730
I'm so not not into sex.
82
00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:07,862
You didn't even take off
your pyjamas!
83
00:06:07,895 --> 00:06:10,195
Yeah, well, they're comfortable!
84
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:11,596
What're you doing?
85
00:06:11,629 --> 00:06:12,895
You gotta
be kidding me.
86
00:06:12,929 --> 00:06:15,862
I have work to do.
87
00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:16,562
I'm on a deadline.
88
00:06:16,595 --> 00:06:18,829
You work in the garage, alright?
89
00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:21,363
Testing video games!
90
00:06:24,662 --> 00:06:26,262
Don't judge me.
91
00:06:31,762 --> 00:06:33,328
Sorry, Mr. Bach.
92
00:06:33,362 --> 00:06:39,127
I need something with
a little more spirit.
93
00:06:43,729 --> 00:06:45,194
Great.
94
00:06:46,228 --> 00:06:47,528
Where is my cord?
95
00:07:11,794 --> 00:07:14,628
Oh my god, he's a regular.
96
00:07:18,794 --> 00:07:21,427
Don't stop!
97
00:07:21,461 --> 00:07:27,761
Oh my-oh my... that
is a lot of vagina.
98
00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:30,761
Yes, yes, give it to me good!
99
00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:34,661
Oh my god, did she really
just say that?
100
00:07:36,461 --> 00:07:38,160
Thank you, sweetie.
101
00:07:39,394 --> 00:07:40,294
I thought you were evolved.
102
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:43,227
We met at a film festival,
for god's sake!
103
00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:44,361
What're you talking about?
104
00:07:44,394 --> 00:07:48,160
What I'm talking about is that.
105
00:07:48,194 --> 00:07:50,693
What is that?
106
00:07:50,727 --> 00:07:52,294
I don't know, a girl?
107
00:07:52,327 --> 00:07:53,194
No.
108
00:07:53,227 --> 00:07:54,194
I'm a girl.
109
00:07:54,227 --> 00:07:55,593
That is a vixen.
110
00:07:55,627 --> 00:07:57,227
Whatever.
111
00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:58,393
Excuse me?
112
00:07:58,426 --> 00:07:59,760
What, I'm not enough?
113
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:00,760
Look, ok, yeah.
114
00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:03,860
I'm sorry you're upset,
but you kinda have this,
115
00:08:03,893 --> 00:08:08,259
like, irrational fear of
intimacy or anything
116
00:08:08,293 --> 00:08:09,893
that can't be put on a list.
117
00:08:09,927 --> 00:08:12,293
You are talking sensuality to me
as you are sitting there
118
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,593
hacking heads off?
119
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,693
Oh, is this funny to you?
120
00:08:15,727 --> 00:08:17,293
Really?
121
00:08:20,526 --> 00:08:22,627
Since when are you
a porn person?
122
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:27,560
Well, I'm a guy,
so since always.
123
00:08:30,393 --> 00:08:31,826
Oh, see, that's bullshit.
124
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,859
I just got killed
by crossfire again.
125
00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:35,726
How are you being so
nonchalant about this?
126
00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:36,659
In this day in age,
127
00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:38,360
when women are finally
standing up to men
128
00:08:38,393 --> 00:08:40,226
who use sex as a tool
of oppression, you're-
129
00:08:40,259 --> 00:08:42,592
Woah, woah,
woah, woah, woah!
130
00:08:42,626 --> 00:08:44,892
I'm not oppressing anyone, ok?
131
00:08:44,926 --> 00:08:48,726
They put it out there,
guys pay for it, and girls,
132
00:08:48,759 --> 00:08:50,659
everyone's happy.
133
00:08:50,692 --> 00:08:53,692
Have... have you ever watched
a porn film?
134
00:08:53,726 --> 00:08:55,359
I think I just saw plenty,
135
00:08:55,392 --> 00:08:57,692
and I hardly think
that the word film applies,
136
00:08:57,726 --> 00:09:00,626
not when it degrades
the entire female species.
137
00:09:00,659 --> 00:09:03,225
Yeah, see, I don't think so.
138
00:09:03,258 --> 00:09:05,292
I think it's just a business.
139
00:09:05,325 --> 00:09:06,325
Oh.
140
00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:07,425
Oh, ok. I see.
141
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:10,225
So it's just a collection of
highly-skilled workers
142
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,592
providing a service.
143
00:09:11,626 --> 00:09:12,692
Yeah, exactly.
144
00:09:12,725 --> 00:09:16,725
And the best are banking
millions and the rest are
145
00:09:16,758 --> 00:09:22,725
compensated really well
for their... artistry.
146
00:09:22,758 --> 00:09:24,158
Artistry?
147
00:09:24,192 --> 00:09:25,591
Yeah.
148
00:09:25,625 --> 00:09:27,225
Mmmhmm. Yeah. Yes.
149
00:09:27,258 --> 00:09:29,558
It's uh, it's kinda like you
with your violin.
150
00:09:29,591 --> 00:09:30,524
Right?
151
00:09:30,558 --> 00:09:31,658
Is it so hard for you
to understand that,
152
00:09:31,691 --> 00:09:36,158
you know, this is how some
people express themselves?
153
00:09:36,191 --> 00:09:38,591
What I can't believe is that
you are attempting
154
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:43,558
to draw a parallel
between what I do and this.
155
00:09:43,591 --> 00:09:45,758
That's because
you're pornophobic.
156
00:09:45,791 --> 00:09:47,257
That's not even a word.
157
00:09:47,291 --> 00:09:49,191
You know, how uptight you are,
158
00:09:49,224 --> 00:09:51,758
it's kinda like your
whole life problem.
159
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,558
No, even words are
too much for you.
160
00:09:53,591 --> 00:09:54,191
We're done.
161
00:09:54,224 --> 00:09:55,758
Wait, no, we're not done.
162
00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:56,691
Lucy.
163
00:09:56,725 --> 00:09:57,524
Come here.
164
00:09:57,558 --> 00:09:58,458
Ow, Jesus. Come on.
165
00:09:58,491 --> 00:09:59,191
Ugh.
166
00:09:59,224 --> 00:09:59,724
Lucy, come back.
167
00:09:59,757 --> 00:10:00,658
Hey! Wait!
168
00:10:00,690 --> 00:10:03,291
Just try saying something racy.
169
00:10:03,324 --> 00:10:04,092
Like what?
170
00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,757
Like, I don't know,
like... use
171
00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:09,790
"hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
172
00:10:09,824 --> 00:10:11,391
Why would anyone do that?
173
00:10:11,424 --> 00:10:13,358
And by the way, since when
do we spy on each other?
174
00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:14,224
I mean, spying?
175
00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:14,757
That's not cool.
176
00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:16,590
I wasn't spying!
177
00:10:16,624 --> 00:10:18,557
And I don't know
who you are anymore.
178
00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:21,256
Yeah, well I don't know
you worse!
179
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,457
Well, I'm not gonna compete
with all of that.
180
00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:28,223
So... so you need to decide.
181
00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:30,590
It's me or the porn!
182
00:10:33,457 --> 00:10:34,357
Really?
183
00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:36,690
That's what you consider
an essential item?
184
00:10:36,724 --> 00:10:38,856
He's autographed.
185
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:41,390
Come on, bud.
186
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,590
Don't-don't crease
and don't break.
187
00:10:43,624 --> 00:10:46,156
Alright, it's just
you and me now.
188
00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,223
I hope you get that stick
out of your ass!
189
00:11:00,256 --> 00:11:01,356
Why?
190
00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:03,556
So you can use it
on yourself?!
191
00:11:08,456 --> 00:11:09,255
Hi, Mr. Glassell.
192
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:10,522
Good morning.
193
00:11:10,556 --> 00:11:12,456
It was.
194
00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:19,322
Where are you?
195
00:11:19,356 --> 00:11:19,856
You're late.
196
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:20,856
You're never late.
197
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:21,656
I'm worried.
198
00:11:21,689 --> 00:11:23,489
Should I be worried?
199
00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:32,422
I'm coming.
200
00:11:32,456 --> 00:11:33,556
Sorry.
201
00:11:36,855 --> 00:11:38,555
Ok, so sorry.
202
00:11:39,389 --> 00:11:40,588
Where have you been?
203
00:11:40,622 --> 00:11:42,189
The bride's about
to start trotting up.
204
00:11:42,222 --> 00:11:43,389
Sorry.
205
00:11:44,488 --> 00:11:45,255
A bride on a horse.
206
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,455
What could go wrong?
207
00:11:47,222 --> 00:11:48,488
Play.
208
00:12:16,588 --> 00:12:18,355
Hello there, Mr. Best Man.
209
00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,421
Oh, no, that's actually
my friend Grant.
210
00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:22,388
I think he's just a groomsman.
211
00:12:25,488 --> 00:12:27,388
Matrimony.
212
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:31,388
The commemoration of
an unshakable bond.
213
00:12:33,955 --> 00:12:35,721
Oh, dear me.
214
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,454
Oh my-oh my god.
215
00:12:38,487 --> 00:12:39,587
Yeah, no, this wedding
is awesome.
216
00:12:39,621 --> 00:12:40,687
That could not
have been the plan.
217
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:43,922
Oh gosh.
218
00:12:46,487 --> 00:12:47,687
Is that horse poo?
219
00:12:47,721 --> 00:12:49,120
God, it smells.
220
00:12:50,554 --> 00:12:51,721
Pretend it's not there.
221
00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:55,754
Oh, she's gonna remember
this day, isn't she?
222
00:12:55,787 --> 00:12:57,621
You wanted the horse, ok?
223
00:12:57,654 --> 00:13:00,187
Well, if she cancels she still
has to pay us, right?
224
00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:01,854
Yes, especially because it was
Grant who referred us
225
00:13:01,887 --> 00:13:03,120
for the job.
226
00:13:03,153 --> 00:13:05,554
I just-I'm sorry, I can't get
over how he is so good-looking
227
00:13:05,587 --> 00:13:07,287
and you never told me about him.
228
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,587
You don't date actual adults.
229
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,554
Kale?
230
00:13:09,586 --> 00:13:10,753
He's an adult.
231
00:13:10,786 --> 00:13:12,753
He picks you up on a skateboard.
232
00:13:12,786 --> 00:13:13,620
It's ok, everyone.
233
00:13:13,653 --> 00:13:14,653
I'm ok.
234
00:13:14,921 --> 00:13:16,486
Why are you giving my dude
such a hard
235
00:13:16,519 --> 00:13:17,419
time when this one over here,
236
00:13:17,453 --> 00:13:20,320
she's sleeping on Captain
America sheets.
237
00:13:21,453 --> 00:13:22,287
Lucy, are you alright?
238
00:13:22,319 --> 00:13:22,821
Are you crying?
239
00:13:22,854 --> 00:13:23,753
I was just kidding.
240
00:13:23,786 --> 00:13:26,653
Yeah, it was just a joke
about the sheets.
241
00:13:26,954 --> 00:13:28,453
Jeff left me.
242
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:30,720
He moved out.
243
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:33,419
Are you ok?
244
00:13:33,453 --> 00:13:35,386
I'm so sorry, Luce,
that's terrible.
245
00:13:43,386 --> 00:13:44,753
Ok, now.
246
00:13:44,787 --> 00:13:45,720
Where were we?
247
00:13:45,753 --> 00:13:47,386
We're going to get married now.
248
00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:49,219
Yeah.
249
00:13:57,519 --> 00:13:59,719
I don't know,
it's all such a blur.
250
00:13:59,752 --> 00:14:00,619
Actually, no.
251
00:14:00,652 --> 00:14:02,353
It started while
we were having sex, and-
252
00:14:02,386 --> 00:14:03,920
Ok.
253
00:14:03,953 --> 00:14:06,485
Is that why you guys fought?
254
00:14:06,518 --> 00:14:09,485
I remembered an item
off of my grocery list, so-
255
00:14:09,518 --> 00:14:11,152
Oh, honey.
256
00:14:11,186 --> 00:14:13,318
How do you expect to survive
marriage week after week,
257
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,518
year after year?
258
00:14:14,552 --> 00:14:19,585
Sex with the same person in
the same order for 27 years.
259
00:14:19,619 --> 00:14:21,719
Well, until you find yourself
one day dressing up for the guy
260
00:14:21,753 --> 00:14:23,719
who sprays for bugs.
261
00:14:23,753 --> 00:14:25,585
Well, how do you expect
to survive all that
262
00:14:25,619 --> 00:14:26,786
if you can't focus now?
263
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:31,518
I might have focus issues
but he is into porn, alright?
264
00:14:31,552 --> 00:14:32,485
It's disgusting!
265
00:14:32,518 --> 00:14:35,385
It was all over his computer,
he is totally-
266
00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:36,685
A man?
267
00:14:36,718 --> 00:14:39,418
All men look at dirty pictures,
married or not.
268
00:14:39,452 --> 00:14:41,418
It's-it's how they maintain
their vigour.
269
00:14:41,452 --> 00:14:42,251
Right, Paul?
270
00:14:42,285 --> 00:14:43,318
Well, it's-
271
00:14:43,352 --> 00:14:45,452
When men start declining
sexually by the age of 18.
272
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,452
Once they hit 30
it's a ski slope.
273
00:14:47,484 --> 00:14:49,151
I beg your pardon.
274
00:14:49,185 --> 00:14:50,584
Except for Paul.
275
00:14:50,618 --> 00:14:52,285
Who is, I'm sure,
a sexual wonder.
276
00:14:52,318 --> 00:14:54,151
Didn't your girlfriend leave
you for a woman, though?
277
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:54,986
Ok, easy.
278
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,618
Wait, does this mean
you have porn?
279
00:14:56,651 --> 00:14:57,185
Hmm?
280
00:14:57,218 --> 00:14:58,451
And go to strip clubs?
281
00:14:58,484 --> 00:14:59,451
No, I do not go
to strip clubs.
282
00:14:59,484 --> 00:15:00,451
Ever?
283
00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:01,719
I have, but it's not like I do.
284
00:15:01,752 --> 00:15:03,317
Do you use the internet?
285
00:15:03,351 --> 00:15:03,885
Define "use".
286
00:15:03,919 --> 00:15:04,719
What about prostitutes?
287
00:15:04,752 --> 00:15:05,785
No, not the ones
who do it for crack.
288
00:15:05,819 --> 00:15:08,317
I mean like the ones you go
to that thing in Vegas
289
00:15:08,351 --> 00:15:09,351
that I've seen on HBO.
290
00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:10,284
Do you know what?
I'm out.
291
00:15:10,317 --> 00:15:11,150
I knew it.
292
00:15:11,184 --> 00:15:12,317
Hello.
293
00:15:12,351 --> 00:15:13,719
Ask me about sex.
294
00:15:13,752 --> 00:15:15,351
I'm right here.
295
00:15:15,384 --> 00:15:16,284
No.
296
00:15:16,317 --> 00:15:17,618
Your enthusiasm is really
un-relatable.
297
00:15:17,651 --> 00:15:18,484
Oh, come on.
298
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:20,417
I got this whole library
of cliterature.
299
00:15:20,451 --> 00:15:21,150
You can just-
300
00:15:21,184 --> 00:15:22,384
What?
301
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:25,184
Books you diddle to, babe.
302
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:26,085
Please, girl.
303
00:15:26,117 --> 00:15:28,317
Tell me that you masturbate,
at least.
304
00:15:29,351 --> 00:15:30,351
No.
305
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:32,184
This is not about me, alright?
306
00:15:32,217 --> 00:15:33,650
This is about my
boyfriend leaving
307
00:15:33,684 --> 00:15:36,818
because I think being a pervert
is really inappropriate.
308
00:15:36,851 --> 00:15:43,217
I also have blindfolds,
handcuffs, vibrators...
309
00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:46,383
Priscilla has them, too!
310
00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:48,450
Oh, the buzz buzz,
not the rest of it.
311
00:15:48,483 --> 00:15:49,383
You do?
312
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,383
It's called a personal massager.
313
00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:51,718
I got it at Brookestone.
314
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,550
Really?
315
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:54,550
Oh.
316
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:58,350
Well... but you have Stanley.
317
00:15:58,383 --> 00:16:00,651
Vibrators are necessary,
my dear.
318
00:16:00,684 --> 00:16:02,583
Because life is short
319
00:16:02,617 --> 00:16:05,850
and explaining things
to men is long.
320
00:16:26,650 --> 00:16:28,783
Sex to do list.
321
00:16:28,817 --> 00:16:32,282
Number one.
Watch 25 porn films.
322
00:16:32,315 --> 00:16:35,617
Number two.
Go to a sex store.
323
00:16:35,650 --> 00:16:38,482
Number three.
Read cliterature.
324
00:16:38,515 --> 00:16:40,717
Number four.
Visit strip club.
325
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,315
Number five.
Sex toy party.
326
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,883
Number six.
Sex seminar.
327
00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:45,415
Number seven.
Test vibrators.
328
00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:47,650
Number eight. Internet porn,
view some.
329
00:16:47,683 --> 00:16:49,817
Number nine.
Consult a sex expert.
330
00:16:49,849 --> 00:16:51,617
Number 10.
Brothel, visit.
331
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:54,182
Number 11.
Meet a porn star.
332
00:16:54,215 --> 00:16:55,415
Number 12...
333
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:59,315
Use "hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
334
00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:00,682
There.
335
00:17:00,716 --> 00:17:05,248
And I can even check
the last one off right now.
336
00:17:11,514 --> 00:17:13,816
For the love of god, cock!
337
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:16,314
Cock! Cock! Cock!
338
00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:17,749
Cock! Cock.
339
00:17:17,782 --> 00:17:19,348
I want your cock!
340
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,247
Well done.
341
00:17:23,314 --> 00:17:24,414
Cock.
342
00:17:41,616 --> 00:17:43,114
God!
343
00:17:45,848 --> 00:17:46,648
Hey!
344
00:17:46,681 --> 00:17:48,181
Woah!
345
00:17:48,214 --> 00:17:50,915
Oh, Grant, you gotta go
check out the ballroom, man.
346
00:17:50,948 --> 00:17:52,648
The bridal party's twerkin'.
347
00:17:54,314 --> 00:17:54,748
Woah.
348
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:55,381
You're kidding.
349
00:17:55,414 --> 00:17:56,615
Ah, ah!
350
00:17:58,948 --> 00:18:00,313
Ugh!
351
00:18:01,815 --> 00:18:03,513
Oh my god,
are you serious?
352
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:05,447
Hello?
353
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,313
I can't believe you
would do this to me.
354
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:07,915
What, Jeff?
355
00:18:07,948 --> 00:18:09,715
I'm not enough for you?
356
00:18:09,748 --> 00:18:11,113
Ugh!
357
00:18:14,548 --> 00:18:15,881
Everything alright in there?
358
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:18,715
Coming in.
359
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:27,581
You alright, love?
360
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:29,313
You want me to get the doctor?
361
00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:31,146
What?
362
00:18:31,180 --> 00:18:32,213
Why-no.
363
00:18:32,246 --> 00:18:33,213
What, because
I'm on the floor?
364
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,146
No.
365
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,146
No.
366
00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,180
No, no, no.
367
00:18:36,213 --> 00:18:37,213
I'm just medicating.
368
00:18:37,246 --> 00:18:38,180
Tating.
369
00:18:38,213 --> 00:18:40,580
Meditating.
370
00:18:40,614 --> 00:18:42,814
I just heard crying
or yelling.
371
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:43,814
Chanting.
372
00:18:43,847 --> 00:18:44,580
Chanting?
373
00:18:44,614 --> 00:18:45,513
Yeah.
374
00:18:45,547 --> 00:18:47,547
Yeah?
375
00:18:47,580 --> 00:18:49,180
Just coming to check to make
sure everything's fine?
376
00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:50,446
Yeah.
377
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,279
No, I always do like a little
chant for the gride and broom.
378
00:18:53,312 --> 00:18:56,179
Before the first dance.
379
00:18:56,212 --> 00:18:59,145
How do you mean?
380
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,245
Oh, you know,
like a chant.
381
00:19:02,279 --> 00:19:04,547
Yeah, no, I don't.
382
00:19:04,580 --> 00:19:06,212
Yeah, just sort of...
383
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:15,846
Close my eyes and go
384
00:19:15,879 --> 00:19:20,846
Chanting...
385
00:19:20,879 --> 00:19:22,713
Which obviously
means something.
386
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:23,513
Unity.
387
00:19:23,546 --> 00:19:24,480
Yeah.
388
00:19:24,512 --> 00:19:29,279
Yeah. It means unity
in that they're now one.
389
00:19:29,312 --> 00:19:31,446
And yet they're two.
390
00:19:31,479 --> 00:19:35,145
So, really it's about being
strong enough
391
00:19:35,179 --> 00:19:39,512
to make one one
out of two ones.
392
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,713
And yet still be two.
393
00:19:41,746 --> 00:19:42,546
Yeah.
394
00:19:42,579 --> 00:19:44,378
Makes sense.
395
00:19:44,411 --> 00:19:46,411
Totally get it.
396
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:47,311
You do?
397
00:19:47,345 --> 00:19:48,579
Yeah.
398
00:19:48,613 --> 00:19:51,813
It's... like a building.
399
00:19:51,846 --> 00:19:53,679
It's only as strong
as its weakest pillar.
400
00:19:53,713 --> 00:19:55,646
Yeah, but is that true?
401
00:19:55,679 --> 00:19:58,244
Because it seems to me that
if you have enough pillars,
402
00:19:58,278 --> 00:20:00,178
like say you're the Acropolis,
403
00:20:00,211 --> 00:20:03,745
I think you could get away
with one crappy pillar.
404
00:20:03,778 --> 00:20:04,845
Sure.
405
00:20:04,878 --> 00:20:10,446
Except for earthquakes,
hurricanes, strong winds...
406
00:20:10,479 --> 00:20:11,278
Aliens.
407
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,178
Well, we can't do much
about that.
408
00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:15,178
But you make a good point.
409
00:20:15,211 --> 00:20:17,377
One in which I happen
to believe in.
410
00:20:18,445 --> 00:20:20,878
Uh... what-what point
is that?
411
00:20:20,912 --> 00:20:24,144
Well, you can't be useful
in a two
412
00:20:24,178 --> 00:20:27,144
until you figure yourself
out as a one.
413
00:20:28,678 --> 00:20:29,678
Hmm.
414
00:20:30,912 --> 00:20:32,177
Cocktail?
415
00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:33,812
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
416
00:20:33,845 --> 00:20:35,143
Well, here's to me.
417
00:20:35,177 --> 00:20:36,545
That was brilliant.
418
00:20:36,578 --> 00:20:37,445
But you're right.
419
00:20:37,478 --> 00:20:38,812
No time for cocktails.
420
00:20:38,845 --> 00:20:46,478
The two ones must waltz
so this one one must play.
421
00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:47,612
Ok.
422
00:20:51,911 --> 00:20:53,143
Alrighty.
423
00:20:53,177 --> 00:20:54,411
Hey.
424
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:56,511
Don't you need this?
425
00:20:57,944 --> 00:21:00,577
Or you chant the waltz, too?
426
00:21:00,611 --> 00:21:02,410
Sometimes.
427
00:21:16,644 --> 00:21:18,176
I'm not pornophobic.
428
00:21:22,444 --> 00:21:23,911
All men look at dirty pictures.
429
00:21:23,943 --> 00:21:27,142
Oh, Jeff.
430
00:21:27,176 --> 00:21:29,510
Yes, yes, give it to me good.
431
00:21:29,544 --> 00:21:31,810
You're pornophobic.
432
00:21:31,843 --> 00:21:35,444
I cannot drink her blood,
she's pornophobic.
433
00:21:35,477 --> 00:21:36,676
Am I not enough?
434
00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:39,477
Looks like she's suffering
from stage four pornophobia.
435
00:21:39,510 --> 00:21:41,810
Say something racy.
436
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,310
It's a word.
437
00:21:43,344 --> 00:21:44,676
Just say it already.
438
00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:45,910
Pornophobic.
439
00:21:45,943 --> 00:21:46,910
Jeff left me.
440
00:21:46,943 --> 00:21:48,643
Pornophobic.
441
00:21:48,676 --> 00:21:51,843
Today we gather here
to remember Lucy Neal,
442
00:21:51,876 --> 00:21:56,142
who died alone from pornophobia.
443
00:21:56,176 --> 00:21:59,543
She died in the house she
inherited from her grandmother
444
00:21:59,576 --> 00:22:03,743
that she was only able to
fill with unfinished lists,
445
00:22:03,776 --> 00:22:04,843
not love.
446
00:22:04,876 --> 00:22:06,776
You're pornophobic!
447
00:22:25,709 --> 00:22:26,709
Ok.
448
00:22:32,942 --> 00:22:35,276
Sexpressions of Lust?
449
00:22:35,309 --> 00:22:36,709
Please.
450
00:22:42,442 --> 00:22:45,375
Madame Mischief's
Boudoir Secrets.
451
00:22:45,408 --> 00:22:47,442
Maybe it's a historical fiction?
452
00:22:47,475 --> 00:22:49,642
And who doesn't like secrets?
453
00:22:50,308 --> 00:22:52,809
Better get one more for back-up.
454
00:22:53,942 --> 00:22:56,475
Bad Sally.
455
00:22:56,508 --> 00:22:58,375
That can't be right.
456
00:23:32,173 --> 00:23:33,474
Oh god.
457
00:23:50,873 --> 00:23:52,641
Faylene springs from the house
458
00:23:52,674 --> 00:23:55,307
as Michele passionately
gives chase.
459
00:23:55,341 --> 00:23:57,474
Running for her life, Michele
grabs Faylene's wrist
460
00:23:57,507 --> 00:24:02,740
and twirls her until he backs
her into an erect pillar.
461
00:24:02,773 --> 00:24:04,673
He could almost taste
her ruby lips
462
00:24:04,707 --> 00:24:09,707
but Faylene thrusts her knee
into Michele, spins him around.
463
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:10,740
Seizing the moment,
464
00:24:10,773 --> 00:24:12,373
Faylene pulls out a hidden
pistol sheathed
465
00:24:12,406 --> 00:24:15,607
on her thigh and pulls it
up to his chin.
466
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,273
And then stops.
467
00:24:26,607 --> 00:24:28,707
Michele takes one strong finger
468
00:24:28,740 --> 00:24:30,673
and slowly drags
the pistol downwards.
469
00:24:30,707 --> 00:24:32,640
Faylene watches in wonder
as the cold steel surrenders
470
00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:35,105
to its final destination.
471
00:24:35,573 --> 00:24:37,105
Michele's manhood.
472
00:24:38,173 --> 00:24:42,340
Michele walks his finger across
the barrel and cocks the gun.
473
00:24:42,373 --> 00:24:45,706
Faylene knows what she wants
and she decides to take it.
474
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:01,139
Whew.
475
00:25:13,305 --> 00:25:14,672
Salt shaker is done.
476
00:25:14,706 --> 00:25:16,672
I can check that off my list.
477
00:25:27,606 --> 00:25:29,606
Hello.
478
00:25:29,638 --> 00:25:33,738
We have chocolate,
mimosas, tissues, sympathy.
479
00:25:33,771 --> 00:25:35,305
Wait, why do you look
so good?
480
00:25:35,339 --> 00:25:36,571
Where did you get
those jeans?
481
00:25:36,605 --> 00:25:37,205
No reason.
482
00:25:37,238 --> 00:25:37,871
Nowhere.
483
00:25:37,905 --> 00:25:39,771
And pity's not why I called.
484
00:25:39,805 --> 00:25:41,538
I told you we need
When Harry Met Sally.
485
00:25:41,571 --> 00:25:42,404
Mmmhmm.
486
00:25:42,438 --> 00:25:43,638
You do chocolates,
I'm on cocktails.
487
00:25:43,671 --> 00:25:44,705
No, really.
488
00:25:44,738 --> 00:25:46,205
I'm fine.
489
00:25:46,238 --> 00:25:47,172
I am.
490
00:25:47,205 --> 00:25:48,705
For, I have renewed life purpose
in the form
491
00:25:48,738 --> 00:25:51,438
of a research project
with which I need your help.
492
00:25:52,471 --> 00:25:53,338
She said research.
493
00:25:53,371 --> 00:25:54,705
She called me for research.
494
00:25:54,738 --> 00:25:55,504
You're losing it.
495
00:25:57,538 --> 00:26:00,705
We're doing number two and the
train is leaving in one minute.
496
00:26:03,204 --> 00:26:06,304
Guys, do you think
I'm gonna need this?
497
00:26:07,671 --> 00:26:09,271
Best break-up ever.
498
00:26:09,304 --> 00:26:10,804
Oh god.
499
00:26:20,504 --> 00:26:24,804
This is your Nissan Leaf,
this is your Mercedes C Class,
500
00:26:24,837 --> 00:26:30,870
and this is the Maserati
of vibrators.
501
00:26:30,904 --> 00:26:35,704
A serious piece of equipment for
only the most experienced user.
502
00:26:36,203 --> 00:26:37,270
Oh.
503
00:26:37,303 --> 00:26:39,136
Sold.
504
00:26:40,136 --> 00:26:43,537
Using it could desensitize
you to men forever.
505
00:26:43,837 --> 00:26:45,303
I'll take one.
506
00:26:52,836 --> 00:26:53,704
Hey, Luce!
507
00:26:53,737 --> 00:26:55,769
I found something for ya.
508
00:26:56,503 --> 00:26:58,604
He doesn't say
irritating things,
509
00:26:58,637 --> 00:27:02,303
he's a feminist, doesn't watch
football, or fart.
510
00:27:02,337 --> 00:27:04,603
Well, none of them do at first.
511
00:27:13,402 --> 00:27:17,302
Can I help you
with that cock ring?
512
00:27:17,336 --> 00:27:18,302
No.
513
00:27:18,336 --> 00:27:19,302
No, I got this.
514
00:27:19,336 --> 00:27:20,836
I was just checking...
515
00:27:21,736 --> 00:27:23,136
Sure.
516
00:27:29,803 --> 00:27:31,536
Everything alright over there?
517
00:27:32,003 --> 00:27:36,536
Sorry, just um...
looking for...
518
00:27:38,302 --> 00:27:39,769
for a Mother's Day gift.
519
00:27:39,803 --> 00:27:40,902
Oh.
520
00:27:40,936 --> 00:27:42,802
You know, I was wondering
what a nice girl like you
521
00:27:42,835 --> 00:27:44,603
was doing in a place
like this.
522
00:27:44,636 --> 00:27:47,235
I could ask you
the same thing.
523
00:27:47,269 --> 00:27:48,702
Go ahead.
524
00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:54,835
What's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?
525
00:27:55,501 --> 00:27:56,436
Oh...
526
00:27:59,535 --> 00:28:00,468
Oh!
527
00:28:00,501 --> 00:28:01,401
Busy day you got there.
528
00:28:01,435 --> 00:28:02,235
Oh-
529
00:28:02,269 --> 00:28:03,269
Uh, it's amazing
you have the time
530
00:28:03,302 --> 00:28:07,768
with all the violin playing
and the chanting.
531
00:28:07,802 --> 00:28:09,201
Of course you remember me.
532
00:28:09,234 --> 00:28:11,201
It's not every day I run
into a beautiful girl
533
00:28:11,234 --> 00:28:14,468
with such a propensity
for crouching.
534
00:28:15,368 --> 00:28:18,602
Did he actually just use
the word "propensity"?
535
00:28:21,168 --> 00:28:22,535
Oh hey.
536
00:28:23,335 --> 00:28:24,802
Adopted this puppy.
537
00:28:25,702 --> 00:28:27,501
And breakfast is ready.
538
00:28:28,668 --> 00:28:30,568
And the dishes are done.
539
00:28:31,902 --> 00:28:34,401
Hey, you're the best man
from the wedding
540
00:28:34,435 --> 00:28:35,734
with the pooping horse?
541
00:28:35,767 --> 00:28:38,301
Oh, yeah, I was just
a groomsman.
542
00:28:38,335 --> 00:28:40,268
Oh, well, I'm Nessa.
543
00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:41,734
I was a part of the quartet.
544
00:28:41,767 --> 00:28:43,567
Oh, yeah. You guys
were great.
545
00:28:43,601 --> 00:28:45,234
Thank you.
546
00:28:45,268 --> 00:28:46,868
I play the cello.
547
00:28:46,902 --> 00:28:47,902
Um, yeah.
548
00:28:47,935 --> 00:28:50,400
It's, you know, the big one
between your legs?
549
00:28:50,434 --> 00:28:53,300
Lucy over here,
she plays the violin.
550
00:28:53,334 --> 00:28:55,534
So it's Lucy, is it?
551
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,734
So fancy meeting you here.
552
00:28:57,767 --> 00:29:00,233
What're you doing?
553
00:29:00,267 --> 00:29:02,367
Oh yeah, um, good question.
554
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,133
I'm looking for a Mother's
Day gift.
555
00:29:04,167 --> 00:29:06,167
Oh, really?
556
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,467
Me too.
557
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:11,233
I mean, I would never be here
for myself.
558
00:29:12,434 --> 00:29:13,867
Or would I?
559
00:29:13,901 --> 00:29:15,133
Nessa.
560
00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:18,167
Uh, I'm actually
an architect.
561
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,434
Paul Goodwin works at my firm.
562
00:29:19,467 --> 00:29:20,666
Right.
563
00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:24,534
Yeah, I vaguely remember him
mentioning something like that.
564
00:29:24,566 --> 00:29:26,434
I'm ah, working on
a job upstairs
565
00:29:26,467 --> 00:29:27,733
to reconfigure
the office space.
566
00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:28,968
Oh.
567
00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:30,733
Not nearly as interesting as
what's going on on that list.
568
00:29:30,766 --> 00:29:31,566
Oh, no.
569
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,466
This is purely a
research project.
570
00:29:35,499 --> 00:29:36,333
Yeah, honestly
I can't help it.
571
00:29:36,366 --> 00:29:41,333
I went to Harvard
so I'm research-y.
572
00:29:41,366 --> 00:29:42,366
Actually, that's where
I met Paul.
573
00:29:42,399 --> 00:29:43,499
Really?
574
00:29:43,533 --> 00:29:46,433
You're using the H-bomb
on the best man?
575
00:29:46,466 --> 00:29:47,232
I just can't.
576
00:29:47,266 --> 00:29:48,232
I'm gonna go talk
to Priscilla.
577
00:29:48,266 --> 00:29:50,433
And wha the hell is up
with your lips, girl?
578
00:29:53,700 --> 00:29:55,533
I'm Grant.
579
00:29:55,566 --> 00:29:57,132
Who works here?
580
00:29:57,633 --> 00:29:59,333
Did I hear you say you
work here?
581
00:30:00,733 --> 00:30:02,732
Why, yes he does.
582
00:30:04,399 --> 00:30:06,466
So does she.
583
00:30:06,499 --> 00:30:08,866
I just wanna find out
if this works.
584
00:30:09,299 --> 00:30:13,433
Actually, sir, I am very
familiar with this product.
585
00:30:13,466 --> 00:30:15,366
It's one of my favourites.
586
00:30:15,399 --> 00:30:18,266
In fact, I've got it on
right now.
587
00:30:18,632 --> 00:30:20,398
What do you mean,
you're wearing it now?
588
00:30:20,432 --> 00:30:21,833
On what?
589
00:30:21,866 --> 00:30:23,498
On my lips.
590
00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:24,732
You put it on your lips?
591
00:30:24,766 --> 00:30:29,599
Uh, Luce, I don't think you put
erection cream on your lips.
592
00:30:30,298 --> 00:30:31,465
Oh my god.
593
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:34,298
Oh.
594
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:36,365
Excuse me?
595
00:30:36,398 --> 00:30:38,565
Do these come in extra large?
596
00:30:43,198 --> 00:30:46,198
Got you some ice
from the cafe.
597
00:30:46,231 --> 00:30:47,532
Thanks.
598
00:30:49,465 --> 00:30:55,332
Yeah, I thought your lips
looked a little...
599
00:30:55,365 --> 00:30:57,432
You got a chant for
this sort of thing?
600
00:30:58,598 --> 00:30:59,799
Woah.
601
00:31:02,932 --> 00:31:04,531
Can I have your number?
602
00:31:05,332 --> 00:31:06,431
You want my number?
603
00:31:06,464 --> 00:31:07,765
Yeah.
604
00:31:09,631 --> 00:31:10,865
Wait, really?
605
00:31:10,899 --> 00:31:13,431
I have a gig you might
be interested in playing.
606
00:31:14,230 --> 00:31:15,631
That's awesome.
607
00:31:16,297 --> 00:31:19,264
I'll um, I'll wait out here.
608
00:31:23,832 --> 00:31:24,865
Bye.
609
00:31:43,464 --> 00:31:46,464
So his dad co-chairs this annual
insurance commissioner's dinner
610
00:31:46,496 --> 00:31:48,397
and he wants you and me
to walk around
611
00:31:48,431 --> 00:31:50,331
and do the wandering
minstrel thing.
612
00:31:50,364 --> 00:31:51,731
First the wedding
and now this?
613
00:31:51,764 --> 00:31:53,230
Is he your new booking agent?
614
00:31:53,264 --> 00:31:55,197
Excuse me, why not all of us?
615
00:31:55,230 --> 00:31:58,197
Uh, I don't know, but you did
make it a point to tell him
616
00:31:58,230 --> 00:31:59,898
that your legs are pretty
occupied while you play.
617
00:32:00,831 --> 00:32:01,731
Will he be there?
618
00:32:01,764 --> 00:32:03,163
He didn't say.
619
00:32:03,196 --> 00:32:06,229
So, with the exception
of the H-bomb incident,
620
00:32:06,263 --> 00:32:08,229
and putting erection cream
on your lips,
621
00:32:08,263 --> 00:32:09,798
I'd say this was
very successful.
622
00:32:09,831 --> 00:32:12,363
You had a nice conversation
with a handsome man,
623
00:32:12,396 --> 00:32:16,897
we got a gig out of nowhere,
and you got Burt.
624
00:33:08,362 --> 00:33:09,663
Hmm.
625
00:33:16,295 --> 00:33:18,796
You know, after one week of
being broken up with Jeff
626
00:33:18,829 --> 00:33:24,162
after four years of dating and I
cannot believe how great I feel.
627
00:33:24,195 --> 00:33:27,461
Well, what I can't believe is
that we're actually doing this.
628
00:33:27,494 --> 00:33:30,461
Alright, Jersey, how we doin'?
629
00:33:30,494 --> 00:33:32,596
All six of you.
630
00:33:32,629 --> 00:33:33,762
Alright, first thing's first.
631
00:33:33,796 --> 00:33:34,729
I'm gonna go grab us
some drinks.
632
00:33:34,762 --> 00:33:38,161
Alright, now for the sexiest
identical twins
633
00:33:38,194 --> 00:33:40,294
with the hottest dance moves.
634
00:33:40,328 --> 00:33:43,328
Everybody give it up
for Cherry and
635
00:33:43,361 --> 00:33:46,127
♪ ...Dallas. ♪
636
00:33:46,428 --> 00:33:47,394
Dallas!
637
00:33:51,629 --> 00:33:53,761
Hey Wes, can I trouble you
for two beers, mate?
638
00:33:53,795 --> 00:33:54,795
Pretend like you don't
know me.
639
00:33:54,828 --> 00:33:56,227
Brilliant.
640
00:33:57,294 --> 00:33:58,562
Did he say Cherry and Dallas?
641
00:33:58,596 --> 00:34:01,161
You know, this is not
what I expected.
642
00:34:01,194 --> 00:34:01,595
Shh.
643
00:34:01,628 --> 00:34:02,494
Why?
644
00:34:02,528 --> 00:34:03,795
Are you afraid I'm gonna
wake them up?
645
00:34:03,828 --> 00:34:04,828
Oh, come on.
646
00:34:04,861 --> 00:34:06,828
They're performers and
you're talking over them.
647
00:34:06,861 --> 00:34:08,127
Don't be rude.
648
00:34:08,161 --> 00:34:09,194
It's disrespectful.
649
00:34:09,227 --> 00:34:09,795
I'm just saying.
650
00:34:09,828 --> 00:34:10,493
Hi, Cynthia.
651
00:34:10,527 --> 00:34:11,628
Loving the hair.
652
00:34:11,661 --> 00:34:12,728
How are you doing tonight?
653
00:34:12,761 --> 00:34:13,460
Hi.
654
00:34:13,493 --> 00:34:14,194
Thank you.
655
00:34:14,227 --> 00:34:15,393
Oh, it's a little cold
in here.
656
00:34:15,427 --> 00:34:16,094
Can I-
657
00:34:16,127 --> 00:34:16,795
Actually, we're totally fine.
658
00:34:16,828 --> 00:34:18,161
Why don't you keep the change?
659
00:34:18,194 --> 00:34:18,861
You know what?
660
00:34:18,895 --> 00:34:19,861
Throw that in for good measure.
661
00:34:19,895 --> 00:34:21,327
Don't embarrass me.
662
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,460
Embarrassment's the least
of your problems.
663
00:34:23,493 --> 00:34:25,160
Ok, I need to level with you.
664
00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:26,427
It's not cold in here.
665
00:34:26,460 --> 00:34:27,493
It's optimal.
666
00:34:27,528 --> 00:34:29,226
Get with the program.
667
00:34:30,828 --> 00:34:32,193
Where are you going?
668
00:34:32,460 --> 00:34:33,695
Getting with the program.
669
00:34:33,728 --> 00:34:34,728
Don't do that!
670
00:34:34,761 --> 00:34:36,393
Lucy, come back, please.
671
00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:38,260
Hi.
672
00:34:38,293 --> 00:34:39,695
Your wife didn't send me here
to spy on you,
673
00:34:39,728 --> 00:34:40,894
I promise.
674
00:34:40,927 --> 00:34:42,226
Don't worry.
675
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:53,093
I wonder how these girls stay
in such good shape.
676
00:34:54,193 --> 00:34:55,160
Quick question for you.
677
00:34:55,193 --> 00:34:59,527
Do you do pilates or...
oh, wow.
678
00:35:01,727 --> 00:35:04,326
Oh, nice, Luce.
679
00:35:04,359 --> 00:35:06,093
Thank you so much.
680
00:35:16,860 --> 00:35:18,159
Wait a second.
681
00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:22,794
She is totally thinking
about her shopping list.
682
00:35:22,826 --> 00:35:24,192
Ha!
683
00:35:26,926 --> 00:35:28,326
Woo!
684
00:35:57,291 --> 00:35:58,258
Oh.
685
00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:01,793
Ok.
686
00:36:10,792 --> 00:36:13,426
I'm just gonna
see what-
687
00:36:13,459 --> 00:36:14,358
She's trying to take my money!
688
00:36:14,391 --> 00:36:16,358
No, I can't make change?
689
00:36:17,224 --> 00:36:18,291
No, you did not.
690
00:36:18,325 --> 00:36:19,625
What were you thinking?
691
00:36:19,658 --> 00:36:21,858
As pleasing as her
vagina thrusts were,
692
00:36:21,892 --> 00:36:24,124
it just-it was not
a $20 kind of happy.
693
00:36:24,158 --> 00:36:26,491
Welcome to the Pleasure
Palace Party.
694
00:36:26,525 --> 00:36:29,258
We got the dildos,
we got the vibrators,
695
00:36:29,291 --> 00:36:32,625
so look around,
don't be shy.
696
00:36:32,658 --> 00:36:35,191
If you wanna get to the top
of the mountain
697
00:36:35,224 --> 00:36:36,825
you gotta go equipped.
698
00:36:36,858 --> 00:36:38,158
Oh.
699
00:36:39,158 --> 00:36:42,425
I did learn one very important
thing at the strip club.
700
00:36:42,458 --> 00:36:44,357
If naked enough it
doesn't matter
701
00:36:44,391 --> 00:36:45,825
if you can actually dance.
702
00:36:45,858 --> 00:36:48,123
Oh, I know what these are.
703
00:36:48,157 --> 00:36:49,792
People use these for meditating.
704
00:36:50,324 --> 00:36:52,825
No, those are Ben-Wa balls.
705
00:36:52,858 --> 00:36:54,458
50 Shades?
706
00:36:54,491 --> 00:36:55,458
Book two?
707
00:36:55,491 --> 00:36:57,123
Ben who?
708
00:36:57,658 --> 00:37:00,391
You take two of those,
you stick 'em up your lady,
709
00:37:00,425 --> 00:37:04,123
and just hold them for
a couple of hours, ok?
710
00:37:04,824 --> 00:37:06,324
Wait, what?
711
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:07,024
Oh my god.
712
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:08,824
Those are for Kegel exercises.
713
00:37:08,857 --> 00:37:11,123
You could do 'em in the car.
714
00:37:11,591 --> 00:37:13,791
Shit, I'm doing them right now.
715
00:37:13,824 --> 00:37:16,824
Experience intense natural
pleasure as each weighted ball
716
00:37:16,857 --> 00:37:18,624
rolls and moves with you
to give you
717
00:37:18,657 --> 00:37:22,357
a mind-blowing
internal massage.
718
00:37:22,390 --> 00:37:27,791
Now, you're gonna sculpt
a banana into a penis
719
00:37:27,824 --> 00:37:29,757
with your teeth.
720
00:37:33,256 --> 00:37:34,189
Catch that!
721
00:37:34,222 --> 00:37:36,289
Oh yeah, get that banana.
722
00:37:36,324 --> 00:37:39,289
Well, I'll never look at a
banana the same way again.
723
00:37:39,691 --> 00:37:41,289
And neither will Paul.
724
00:37:41,557 --> 00:37:42,823
Sex toy party.
725
00:37:42,856 --> 00:37:43,823
Check.
726
00:38:04,656 --> 00:38:05,823
Wait, why'd you stop?
727
00:38:05,856 --> 00:38:08,456
Uh, nothing.
728
00:38:08,489 --> 00:38:09,556
Nothing.
729
00:38:09,590 --> 00:38:12,823
I think I just... I really need
to go to the bathroom.
730
00:38:12,856 --> 00:38:13,723
Oh my, well go!
731
00:38:13,756 --> 00:38:15,590
It's right down there.
732
00:38:17,389 --> 00:38:20,823
I don't think I can
make it that far.
733
00:38:20,856 --> 00:38:21,790
Oh god.
734
00:38:21,823 --> 00:38:22,690
It's gonna come out.
735
00:38:22,723 --> 00:38:23,556
What is?
736
00:38:28,255 --> 00:38:29,188
Not a word.
737
00:38:29,456 --> 00:38:30,723
Not a word.
738
00:38:31,389 --> 00:38:33,188
Uh-uh.
739
00:38:34,255 --> 00:38:35,389
Ok.
740
00:38:35,423 --> 00:38:36,121
Oh.
741
00:38:36,155 --> 00:38:36,822
Oh!
742
00:38:36,855 --> 00:38:38,188
I don't think I can bend over.
743
00:38:38,221 --> 00:38:39,389
Because there's a second one?
744
00:38:39,423 --> 00:38:39,822
Three.
745
00:38:39,855 --> 00:38:40,789
Oh!
746
00:38:40,822 --> 00:38:41,555
There are three more.
747
00:38:41,589 --> 00:38:43,755
I bought two boxes.
748
00:38:44,389 --> 00:38:45,655
I see.
749
00:38:45,689 --> 00:38:46,655
For Kegels.
750
00:38:46,689 --> 00:38:48,188
Say no more.
751
00:38:50,789 --> 00:38:52,022
I need you to pick it up.
752
00:38:52,056 --> 00:38:54,188
You know, I didn't think there
were limits to our friendship.
753
00:38:54,221 --> 00:38:55,488
I realize it's just not true.
754
00:38:55,522 --> 00:38:56,755
Oh, this is not funny.
755
00:38:56,789 --> 00:38:57,622
It's not funny, ok?
756
00:38:57,655 --> 00:39:00,322
I only wore these
to a work function
757
00:39:00,355 --> 00:39:02,522
because I knew we would
be standing for three hours
758
00:39:02,555 --> 00:39:05,689
and, you know,
I wanted to tone.
759
00:39:07,789 --> 00:39:08,822
Stop!
760
00:39:08,855 --> 00:39:09,855
Stop, ok?
761
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,855
If you make me laugh another
ball will pop out.
762
00:39:11,888 --> 00:39:13,589
Oh god, I'm so...
763
00:39:13,622 --> 00:39:14,722
I need help here. Please.
764
00:39:14,755 --> 00:39:16,288
Ok, ok. Let's go.
765
00:39:19,854 --> 00:39:20,589
What was that?
766
00:39:20,622 --> 00:39:21,788
I don't know.
767
00:39:21,821 --> 00:39:24,522
When I walk my legs just
sort of rub together
768
00:39:24,555 --> 00:39:25,821
and I'm already so, so-
769
00:39:25,854 --> 00:39:27,522
oh my god, I might-
770
00:39:27,554 --> 00:39:28,154
Hallelujah?
771
00:39:28,187 --> 00:39:28,888
Yeah.
772
00:39:28,921 --> 00:39:31,120
Ok, we're gonna
have to risk it.
773
00:39:31,154 --> 00:39:32,688
Lucy, if you do this
while holding my hand
774
00:39:32,721 --> 00:39:34,322
this friendship will
never be the same.
775
00:39:34,355 --> 00:39:36,154
Ladies, you look like
you're having a good night.
776
00:39:36,187 --> 00:39:37,688
Some of us more than others.
777
00:39:37,721 --> 00:39:38,688
Hi.
778
00:39:38,721 --> 00:39:39,721
What're you doing here?
779
00:39:39,754 --> 00:39:41,154
Oh, seeing my dad.
780
00:39:41,187 --> 00:39:43,354
He's on the board
with the trust.
781
00:39:43,754 --> 00:39:45,186
It's irrelevant.
782
00:39:45,220 --> 00:39:46,220
Now I'm seeing you.
783
00:39:46,254 --> 00:39:47,721
Have you met Priscilla?
784
00:39:47,754 --> 00:39:48,621
No, how are you?
785
00:39:48,654 --> 00:39:49,654
The leader of our quartet.
786
00:39:49,688 --> 00:39:52,654
My dear friend, who always
comes to my rescue.
787
00:39:52,688 --> 00:39:54,387
Oh, you need a lot of that?
788
00:39:54,421 --> 00:39:56,354
No, not at all,
but even still,
789
00:39:56,387 --> 00:39:58,788
she's just always waiting
for the other ball to drop.
790
00:39:58,821 --> 00:40:01,086
I mean shoe.
791
00:40:02,853 --> 00:40:04,354
Is it hot in here?
792
00:40:04,387 --> 00:40:05,321
Yeah, it is.
793
00:40:05,354 --> 00:40:06,521
Hmm.
794
00:40:06,554 --> 00:40:09,820
Um, I see someone that I...
795
00:40:09,853 --> 00:40:11,254
I don't see anyone.
796
00:40:11,287 --> 00:40:13,487
I'm just getting
out of the way.
797
00:40:16,187 --> 00:40:17,287
Are you tired?
798
00:40:17,321 --> 00:40:18,119
Am I tired?
799
00:40:18,153 --> 00:40:19,753
Yeah, you seem a bit
out of breath.
800
00:40:19,787 --> 00:40:20,753
Mmm-mmm.
801
00:40:20,787 --> 00:40:21,753
Mmm-mmm.
802
00:40:21,787 --> 00:40:24,787
No, I just sort of get
that way when I play.
803
00:40:24,820 --> 00:40:25,887
Oh, I get it.
804
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,787
You're amazing.
805
00:40:29,453 --> 00:40:30,587
Sweet Jesus.
806
00:40:30,853 --> 00:40:32,219
Oh, what was that?
807
00:40:32,253 --> 00:40:32,753
Hmm?
808
00:40:32,787 --> 00:40:33,887
That.
809
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:37,787
No, my back just gets that way
when I stand and play.
810
00:40:37,820 --> 00:40:39,085
Alright.
811
00:40:41,253 --> 00:40:42,353
Are you cold?
812
00:40:42,386 --> 00:40:43,118
Mmmhmm.
813
00:40:43,153 --> 00:40:43,753
Yeah.
814
00:40:43,787 --> 00:40:44,820
Oh, let's get you moving.
815
00:40:44,853 --> 00:40:45,620
Oh.
816
00:40:45,653 --> 00:40:46,720
Come on.
817
00:40:51,653 --> 00:40:53,186
Ah.
818
00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:54,653
You ok?
819
00:40:54,686 --> 00:40:55,719
Yeah.
820
00:40:55,752 --> 00:40:57,253
Yeah.
821
00:40:57,286 --> 00:40:58,819
Just warming up a little.
822
00:41:00,852 --> 00:41:02,519
If I didn't know better,
823
00:41:02,552 --> 00:41:03,886
your lips look beautifully
deflated this evening.
824
00:41:08,353 --> 00:41:10,686
Women don't usually
find me funny.
825
00:41:11,186 --> 00:41:13,419
It's my pleasure.
826
00:41:13,686 --> 00:41:14,686
Truly.
827
00:41:15,586 --> 00:41:16,352
Oh.
828
00:41:17,385 --> 00:41:18,452
Oh.
829
00:41:19,652 --> 00:41:21,118
Oh, what was that?
830
00:41:21,152 --> 00:41:21,819
What was what?
831
00:41:21,852 --> 00:41:23,152
Something just hit my foot.
832
00:41:23,185 --> 00:41:23,786
Is that a bird?
833
00:41:23,819 --> 00:41:24,786
There's a bird?
834
00:41:25,886 --> 00:41:27,719
Nope. Nope.
835
00:41:27,752 --> 00:41:28,852
Sorry, my mistake.
836
00:41:28,886 --> 00:41:29,586
Weird.
837
00:41:29,619 --> 00:41:30,652
Anyway.
838
00:41:30,686 --> 00:41:31,552
Hmm?
839
00:41:31,586 --> 00:41:32,552
I was thinking...
840
00:41:32,586 --> 00:41:33,118
Yeah?
841
00:41:33,152 --> 00:41:34,118
If you're not too busy-
842
00:41:34,152 --> 00:41:34,686
Never.
843
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:35,485
Or too hot.
844
00:41:35,519 --> 00:41:36,118
Would you like to-
845
00:41:36,152 --> 00:41:36,818
Yes.
846
00:41:36,851 --> 00:41:37,586
Have dinner with me?
847
00:41:37,619 --> 00:41:38,885
Dear god, yes!
848
00:41:49,718 --> 00:41:51,518
So you call me up out of
the blue to ask me
849
00:41:51,551 --> 00:41:52,518
how good you were in bed?
850
00:41:52,551 --> 00:41:53,319
Mmmhmm.
851
00:41:53,352 --> 00:41:54,319
Out of a percentage
out of 100.
852
00:41:54,352 --> 00:41:58,451
But if you must, I will accept
a letter grade.
853
00:42:01,284 --> 00:42:02,651
Did you meet someone?
854
00:42:02,685 --> 00:42:03,518
What?
855
00:42:03,551 --> 00:42:04,451
No.
856
00:42:04,718 --> 00:42:05,518
No.
857
00:42:05,551 --> 00:42:06,318
I was just wondering-
858
00:42:06,351 --> 00:42:07,651
You did.
859
00:42:07,685 --> 00:42:10,718
You're seeing someone.
860
00:42:10,751 --> 00:42:11,851
Yeah, I am.
861
00:42:11,885 --> 00:42:12,651
I'm sorry.
862
00:42:12,685 --> 00:42:13,651
It's very new-
863
00:42:13,685 --> 00:42:14,284
No, no.
864
00:42:14,318 --> 00:42:15,818
It's a-I'm relieved, ok?
865
00:42:15,851 --> 00:42:21,551
'Cause I'm... I'm also seeing
someone else, too.
866
00:42:21,585 --> 00:42:22,418
You are?
867
00:42:22,451 --> 00:42:23,685
Yeah.
868
00:42:23,718 --> 00:42:24,351
Huh.
869
00:42:24,384 --> 00:42:25,618
Wow.
870
00:42:27,884 --> 00:42:28,817
Halloween.
871
00:42:28,850 --> 00:42:29,384
Yeah.
872
00:42:29,418 --> 00:42:31,217
Right after we broke up.
873
00:42:31,251 --> 00:42:34,817
Oh, or is that how she dresses
all the time?
874
00:42:34,850 --> 00:42:36,584
That's funny.
875
00:42:36,617 --> 00:42:38,650
I miss your sense of humour.
876
00:42:39,450 --> 00:42:41,351
Is that-I'm sorry, is that bad
for me to say
877
00:42:41,383 --> 00:42:43,483
that I miss something
about you?
878
00:42:45,717 --> 00:42:49,617
Uh... so, how are the-
how's your lists coming?
879
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:51,650
Oh, very well, thank you.
880
00:42:51,684 --> 00:42:53,483
Yeah, after the porn thing
881
00:42:53,517 --> 00:42:56,183
I made a list that's
all about sex.
882
00:42:56,216 --> 00:43:02,183
And I recently went to both
a porn shop and a strip club.
883
00:43:04,684 --> 00:43:05,584
What?
884
00:43:05,617 --> 00:43:06,550
You-no, you're...
885
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:07,883
you're hilarious.
886
00:43:07,916 --> 00:43:13,417
You see, this-you, us
being friends, this rocks.
887
00:43:13,450 --> 00:43:14,749
Yeah, it's great.
888
00:43:14,783 --> 00:43:17,550
Uh, but, sex with me.
889
00:43:17,583 --> 00:43:18,849
How was it?
890
00:43:18,883 --> 00:43:20,116
Oh, right.
891
00:43:20,150 --> 00:43:24,549
Um... it was fine.
892
00:43:24,583 --> 00:43:27,250
Jeff, literally choose
any letter.
893
00:43:27,283 --> 00:43:28,416
Ok, uh, geez.
894
00:43:28,449 --> 00:43:31,216
Uh... like A through F,
right?
895
00:43:31,250 --> 00:43:32,083
Yes.
896
00:43:32,716 --> 00:43:34,150
Ok.
897
00:43:34,183 --> 00:43:37,282
Uh, you are a...
898
00:43:41,516 --> 00:43:43,215
D.
899
00:43:43,249 --> 00:43:44,316
It's in room D.
900
00:43:44,349 --> 00:43:45,050
Are you sure?
901
00:43:45,082 --> 00:43:46,516
It doesn't say
"sex seminar".
902
00:43:46,549 --> 00:43:48,549
They're not gonna
call it that.
903
00:43:48,583 --> 00:43:49,516
It's this one.
904
00:43:49,549 --> 00:43:50,449
It has to be.
905
00:43:50,482 --> 00:43:51,749
Come on.
906
00:43:55,549 --> 00:44:00,249
Proficiency in sex is a must.
907
00:44:00,282 --> 00:44:05,249
It is the universal language
of humanity.
908
00:44:07,149 --> 00:44:08,182
You're tardy.
909
00:44:08,215 --> 00:44:08,848
Take a seat.
910
00:44:08,882 --> 00:44:09,882
Did you invite her?
911
00:44:09,915 --> 00:44:11,582
No.
912
00:44:11,615 --> 00:44:13,715
What could she have to learn?
913
00:44:15,016 --> 00:44:19,348
To walk around speaking slang
is to be ignorant to one's self.
914
00:44:19,381 --> 00:44:20,215
What're you doing here?
915
00:44:20,248 --> 00:44:21,782
I just came here to do research
for you.
916
00:44:21,815 --> 00:44:25,548
Number one miscommunication
slang speakers make
917
00:44:25,582 --> 00:44:29,448
is to think of it as a
male-centric activity.
918
00:44:29,481 --> 00:44:31,214
That is, they think about
when men intercourse
919
00:44:31,248 --> 00:44:33,882
with women that it's
all about the guy.
920
00:44:33,916 --> 00:44:34,782
Wrong!
921
00:44:34,815 --> 00:44:35,815
Wrong!
922
00:44:35,848 --> 00:44:37,081
Wrong!
923
00:44:37,114 --> 00:44:40,415
From this moment on you will
refer to sexual communication
924
00:44:40,448 --> 00:44:45,548
as the gift that you will
give to only a worthy man,
925
00:44:45,582 --> 00:44:52,448
from you, the soon to be
supremely empowered woman!
926
00:45:00,414 --> 00:45:02,747
Oh, hit-oh wow,
you are tense.
927
00:45:02,781 --> 00:45:04,480
Yeah, I don't think
smacking it
928
00:45:04,514 --> 00:45:06,148
like that is part
of the technique.
929
00:45:06,181 --> 00:45:10,213
Kale, he left me for someone
his own age so I'm just-
930
00:45:10,247 --> 00:45:12,213
I can't deal with men right now.
931
00:45:12,247 --> 00:45:14,447
Oh, Nessa, I'm so sorry.
932
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,414
Here.
933
00:45:16,447 --> 00:45:17,847
I'm gonna help you.
934
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:19,681
Ok?
935
00:45:19,714 --> 00:45:23,581
It's like we're in Ghost
and you're my Patrick Swayze.
936
00:45:23,614 --> 00:45:27,414
Oh, of course you get
to be Demi Moore.
937
00:45:27,447 --> 00:45:29,480
It takes a village.
938
00:45:56,746 --> 00:45:59,613
Ok, so five weeks until my
audition for the Philharmonic-
939
00:45:59,646 --> 00:46:03,646
I'm not getting any better,
am I?
940
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:06,246
No, you're really not.
941
00:46:06,279 --> 00:46:07,379
What?
942
00:46:07,413 --> 00:46:09,313
'Cause you're already a genius.
943
00:46:09,346 --> 00:46:11,346
Well, it's true,
and you know it.
944
00:46:11,379 --> 00:46:17,246
You just gotta get
out of there.
945
00:46:17,279 --> 00:46:20,313
Did you know that the female
ferret will die if she goes
946
00:46:20,346 --> 00:46:22,546
into heat and can't find
a mate?
947
00:46:22,580 --> 00:46:25,112
Jeff was the rodent,
not you.
948
00:46:25,146 --> 00:46:26,346
What about the best man?
949
00:46:26,379 --> 00:46:27,313
Groomsman.
950
00:46:27,346 --> 00:46:28,446
Hasn't he called?
951
00:46:28,478 --> 00:46:30,212
You really should ask Paul
what his story is because-
952
00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,445
No. No, he did.
953
00:46:32,478 --> 00:46:34,478
We're going out on Saturday.
954
00:46:34,512 --> 00:46:35,312
You are?!
955
00:46:35,345 --> 00:46:36,246
Oh.
956
00:46:36,279 --> 00:46:36,745
That's wonderful!
957
00:46:36,780 --> 00:46:37,612
Oh.
958
00:46:37,645 --> 00:46:39,412
You're at a ten.
959
00:46:39,445 --> 00:46:40,645
Well, what are your plans?
960
00:46:40,679 --> 00:46:43,145
I mean, you could do
a dinner cruise.
961
00:46:43,178 --> 00:46:45,211
Oh, a hot air balloon.
962
00:46:45,245 --> 00:46:47,245
What is with you today?
963
00:46:47,278 --> 00:46:48,780
Nothing, I'm just happy
for you.
964
00:46:48,813 --> 00:46:51,679
Oh... what are those?
965
00:46:51,712 --> 00:46:53,378
Stan got me diamonds.
966
00:46:53,412 --> 00:46:54,679
Oh my god.
967
00:46:54,712 --> 00:46:56,412
Was it the seminar?
968
00:46:56,445 --> 00:46:59,445
I have a sex life again
after 27 years.
969
00:46:59,478 --> 00:47:02,579
Stan and I are doing it like
high school kids on prom night.
970
00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:05,111
Oh, so meaning it's over
in five minutes
971
00:47:05,145 --> 00:47:06,278
and you get nothing out of it.
972
00:47:06,312 --> 00:47:09,278
Except a bad reputation.
973
00:47:09,312 --> 00:47:10,711
Anyway, enough about me.
974
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:12,378
Why aren't you thrilled
about the best man?
975
00:47:12,412 --> 00:47:13,511
I am.
976
00:47:13,544 --> 00:47:17,278
I... don't you think he's
a little out of my league?
977
00:47:17,312 --> 00:47:19,544
I'm not even gonna dignify
that question.
978
00:47:19,578 --> 00:47:22,178
You're just afraid to get back
on the horse.
979
00:47:22,211 --> 00:47:24,111
Lucy, it's like riding a bike.
980
00:47:24,145 --> 00:47:27,678
Or maybe a pogo stick.
981
00:47:27,711 --> 00:47:29,845
I'm just freaking out
because in my effort to be
982
00:47:29,879 --> 00:47:33,879
supremely empowered I insisted
on planning the date.
983
00:47:33,912 --> 00:47:37,177
And I've got nothing.
984
00:47:37,210 --> 00:47:40,377
Well, if you're interested,
Stan got us two tickets
985
00:47:40,411 --> 00:47:42,878
to the Dr. Becker taping
on Saturday night.
986
00:47:42,911 --> 00:47:44,210
VIP seats.
987
00:47:44,244 --> 00:47:45,544
Which is...?
988
00:47:45,578 --> 00:47:47,712
She's a sex expert.
989
00:47:47,745 --> 00:47:49,544
I showed Stan the list.
990
00:47:49,578 --> 00:47:51,344
He got very inspired.
991
00:47:51,377 --> 00:47:53,578
Anyway, if I promised to make it
worth his while
992
00:47:53,611 --> 00:47:57,277
I'm sure I can get him
to stay at home.
993
00:47:57,311 --> 00:48:01,311
Ok, if I promise to take
the tickets
994
00:48:01,344 --> 00:48:03,110
do you promise to never talk
about you and Stan
995
00:48:03,144 --> 00:48:05,778
sexually communicating
ever again?
996
00:48:05,811 --> 00:48:06,510
Deal.
997
00:48:06,543 --> 00:48:07,443
Ok.
998
00:48:07,476 --> 00:48:08,577
Can I just tell you one thing?
999
00:48:08,610 --> 00:48:09,376
Alright, yes.
1000
00:48:09,410 --> 00:48:11,144
I'm gonna get my labia
tightened.
1001
00:48:19,276 --> 00:48:22,109
What do you think about
oyster shooters?
1002
00:48:22,143 --> 00:48:27,176
Mmm, aren't oysters more
of a third date kind of food?
1003
00:48:27,209 --> 00:48:29,510
Yes, good point.
1004
00:48:29,543 --> 00:48:31,310
It's not like you're taking me
to a sex show.
1005
00:48:31,343 --> 00:48:34,109
Lecture by a progressive,
1006
00:48:34,143 --> 00:48:36,743
world renowned researcher
who went to Yale.
1007
00:48:36,777 --> 00:48:40,310
Which is definitely
not Harvard.
1008
00:48:40,343 --> 00:48:42,443
But she happens to be discussing
human sexuality and I-
1009
00:48:42,476 --> 00:48:45,343
I know, I know, consult
an expert is on your list.
1010
00:48:45,376 --> 00:48:47,143
I'm messing with you.
1011
00:48:47,176 --> 00:48:50,376
And just because we're going
to a lecture like this
1012
00:48:50,409 --> 00:48:53,409
doesn't make me a sure thing,
you know.
1013
00:48:53,442 --> 00:48:54,877
Me neither.
1014
00:48:54,910 --> 00:48:56,509
Good.
1015
00:48:56,542 --> 00:48:59,810
Wouldn't want you getting
the wrong idea.
1016
00:48:59,843 --> 00:49:02,609
What idea might that be?
1017
00:49:02,643 --> 00:49:05,576
I don't know, I just wouldn't
want you misinterpreting
1018
00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:11,843
my list, 'cause I'm really
not that kind of girl.
1019
00:49:11,877 --> 00:49:15,309
And what kind of girl
are you?
1020
00:49:15,342 --> 00:49:19,442
That's for me to know
and for you to wonder.
1021
00:49:22,677 --> 00:49:24,776
Ok, well now I'm gonna ask you
a bunch of things
1022
00:49:24,809 --> 00:49:27,342
so I can make a meaningful
snap judgement about you
1023
00:49:27,375 --> 00:49:28,342
without being distracted
1024
00:49:28,375 --> 00:49:32,508
by all your charming,
attractive... you-ness.
1025
00:49:32,541 --> 00:49:35,108
Is this where you ask me
for my tax return?
1026
00:49:35,142 --> 00:49:36,609
'Cause I didn't bring it.
1027
00:49:36,642 --> 00:49:38,842
Uh, no.
1028
00:49:38,876 --> 00:49:41,609
I was just gonna ask you what
your favourite book was.
1029
00:49:41,642 --> 00:49:43,208
Um, sorry.
1030
00:49:43,242 --> 00:49:45,408
My last girlfriend did that
on the first date.
1031
00:49:45,441 --> 00:49:49,274
And you still ended up
dating her?
1032
00:49:49,308 --> 00:49:50,809
Oh.
1033
00:49:50,842 --> 00:49:51,876
Alright, yeah.
1034
00:49:51,909 --> 00:49:54,441
Your last girlfriend must have
been a supermodel.
1035
00:49:54,474 --> 00:49:56,776
She was a model, yes,
but super, no.
1036
00:49:56,809 --> 00:49:57,709
Definitely not.
1037
00:49:57,742 --> 00:49:59,274
And she's certainly not
Harvard material.
1038
00:49:59,308 --> 00:50:01,174
Ah.
1039
00:50:01,207 --> 00:50:05,308
Well, as an artist, I do not
require financial documentation.
1040
00:50:05,341 --> 00:50:07,241
Being well kept doesn't really
apply to me.
1041
00:50:07,274 --> 00:50:10,174
And yet you seem to be
kept very well.
1042
00:50:12,641 --> 00:50:13,576
That is corny.
1043
00:50:15,274 --> 00:50:17,107
Uh, let's do the books.
1044
00:50:17,141 --> 00:50:18,141
I have two.
1045
00:50:18,174 --> 00:50:19,174
I also have two favourites.
1046
00:50:19,207 --> 00:50:19,875
Ladies first.
1047
00:50:19,908 --> 00:50:20,775
Nope.
1048
00:50:20,808 --> 00:50:21,341
Huh?
1049
00:50:21,374 --> 00:50:23,207
No. I asked you first.
1050
00:50:23,241 --> 00:50:25,274
Revealing book love is
a very personal thing.
1051
00:50:25,308 --> 00:50:26,274
I know.
1052
00:50:26,308 --> 00:50:30,107
That's why it's my stock first
date question.
1053
00:50:30,141 --> 00:50:33,273
It's gonna tell me everything
I need to know about you.
1054
00:50:33,307 --> 00:50:35,741
Are you sure you wanna know?
1055
00:50:35,775 --> 00:50:37,708
Yeah, you're right.
1056
00:50:37,741 --> 00:50:40,473
It could be the end of something
good before it even starts.
1057
00:50:40,507 --> 00:50:43,708
Or it could be the start of
something good that doesn't end.
1058
00:50:45,675 --> 00:50:47,340
What the hell's
in this drink?
1059
00:50:49,741 --> 00:50:50,741
Ok, alright.
1060
00:50:50,775 --> 00:50:52,407
Let's just state our books.
1061
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:53,273
Yep.
1062
00:50:53,307 --> 00:50:55,140
And let's get this ship
to sinking, ok?
1063
00:50:55,173 --> 00:50:56,240
Please.
1064
00:50:56,273 --> 00:50:57,106
Alright.
1065
00:50:57,140 --> 00:50:58,106
Yeah. At the same time,
count of three?
1066
00:50:58,140 --> 00:50:58,541
Yes.
1067
00:50:58,575 --> 00:50:59,173
Alright.
1068
00:50:59,206 --> 00:50:59,740
Ok.
1069
00:50:59,774 --> 00:51:01,574
One, two, three.
1070
00:51:01,607 --> 00:51:02,640
"Everything That Rises
Must Converge",
1071
00:51:02,674 --> 00:51:03,874
and "The Story of Your Life."
1072
00:51:03,907 --> 00:51:04,807
"The Story of Your Life"
1073
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,439
and "Everything That Rises
Must Converge".
1074
00:51:08,307 --> 00:51:10,106
Well, you like them in
the wrong order.
1075
00:51:10,140 --> 00:51:12,106
Yeah. It's definitely
not gonna work.
1076
00:51:22,774 --> 00:51:24,640
This is the Dr. Becker show?
1077
00:51:24,674 --> 00:51:26,205
Yeah. Hi, welcome.
1078
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:27,372
Hi.
1079
00:51:27,406 --> 00:51:31,740
Oh, uh, will Dr. Becker
be out soon?
1080
00:51:31,774 --> 00:51:34,239
That is Dr. Becker.
1081
00:51:34,272 --> 00:51:35,105
Alright, let's get everybody
in their seats now-
1082
00:51:35,139 --> 00:51:39,239
Wait, she's a Magna Cum
Laude Yale PhD?
1083
00:51:39,272 --> 00:51:40,640
Follow me.
1084
00:51:40,674 --> 00:51:42,739
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
1085
00:51:42,773 --> 00:51:44,806
The show is about to start.
1086
00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:49,272
Dr. Becker, you're on
in three, two...
1087
00:51:51,139 --> 00:51:53,139
Ok.
1088
00:51:53,172 --> 00:51:55,239
I am so sorry.
I had no idea-
1089
00:51:55,272 --> 00:51:56,339
Are you kidding me?
1090
00:51:56,372 --> 00:51:59,606
This is the most interesting
date I have ever gone on
1091
00:51:59,639 --> 00:52:00,639
in my entire life.
1092
00:52:00,673 --> 00:52:01,639
Welcome.
1093
00:52:01,673 --> 00:52:06,171
Tonight's guest is both
a true pleasure to have
1094
00:52:06,204 --> 00:52:09,472
and a departure from my usual
science-based approach
1095
00:52:09,506 --> 00:52:11,806
to sexual enlightenment.
1096
00:52:11,839 --> 00:52:14,606
Science was nothing like
this where I went to school.
1097
00:52:14,639 --> 00:52:15,873
Really?
1098
00:52:15,906 --> 00:52:18,138
I thought boarding schools were
known for sexual enlightenment.
1099
00:52:18,171 --> 00:52:21,104
Please help me welcome
Madam Swarovska,
1100
00:52:21,138 --> 00:52:23,238
world-renowned sexual psychic.
1101
00:52:25,138 --> 00:52:26,039
What's a sexual psychic?
1102
00:52:26,071 --> 00:52:28,338
Someone who can do
the pull and pray method
1103
00:52:28,371 --> 00:52:30,238
of birth control?
1104
00:52:31,638 --> 00:52:32,638
You snorted.
1105
00:52:32,672 --> 00:52:33,872
Ok, I'm leaving.
1106
00:52:33,905 --> 00:52:35,838
That one.
1107
00:52:35,872 --> 00:52:37,305
She suffers.
1108
00:52:37,338 --> 00:52:38,338
Oh?
1109
00:52:43,138 --> 00:52:44,370
Oh.
1110
00:52:44,405 --> 00:52:45,638
Madame Swarovska,
1111
00:52:45,672 --> 00:52:48,304
can you explain to our audience
what it is that you're doing?
1112
00:52:48,337 --> 00:52:49,872
And me, would be nice.
1113
00:52:49,905 --> 00:52:53,337
I am assessing the aura.
1114
00:52:53,370 --> 00:52:57,137
Seeing what colours
surround her.
1115
00:52:57,170 --> 00:52:59,270
Sounds lovely.
Thank you.
1116
00:52:59,304 --> 00:53:02,572
For most people, yes.
For you, no.
1117
00:53:02,605 --> 00:53:05,337
For you, is grey.
1118
00:53:05,370 --> 00:53:06,738
Grey?
1119
00:53:06,772 --> 00:53:08,837
Are you saying that
she's sexually...
1120
00:53:08,871 --> 00:53:10,137
Grey!
1121
00:53:10,170 --> 00:53:11,605
Yes.
1122
00:53:11,638 --> 00:53:16,103
Well, lucky for me
neutrals are in for fall.
1123
00:53:16,137 --> 00:53:18,103
You know, we can go
like five minutes ago.
1124
00:53:18,137 --> 00:53:19,137
No, no, this is awesome.
1125
00:53:19,170 --> 00:53:20,004
This is great.
1126
00:53:20,038 --> 00:53:22,137
How about we get you on
stage, Miss...?
1127
00:53:22,170 --> 00:53:23,571
Uh, Lu...
1128
00:53:24,871 --> 00:53:26,405
Lulu-bell.
1129
00:53:27,437 --> 00:53:29,871
Well, come on up
here, Lulu-bell,
1130
00:53:29,904 --> 00:53:32,571
so Madame Swarovska
can read you.
1131
00:53:32,604 --> 00:53:33,837
Come on.
1132
00:53:34,837 --> 00:53:36,504
You're safe.
1133
00:53:39,871 --> 00:53:45,637
Yes, the grey one is in deep
struggle with the sex.
1134
00:53:45,671 --> 00:53:47,236
I often discuss a condition
1135
00:53:47,269 --> 00:53:50,102
called sexual attention
deficit disorder.
1136
00:53:50,136 --> 00:53:51,437
SADD.
1137
00:53:51,470 --> 00:53:53,404
Sad, for short.
1138
00:53:53,437 --> 00:53:55,637
Which involves frequent
mental wanderings
1139
00:53:55,671 --> 00:53:59,202
of a non-sexual nature
during intercourse.
1140
00:53:59,236 --> 00:54:00,370
Might that be what-
1141
00:54:00,404 --> 00:54:03,803
Yes, but also lack
of experience.
1142
00:54:05,370 --> 00:54:10,670
Oh, trust me, I-I have plenty
of experience.
1143
00:54:13,370 --> 00:54:15,269
The cards say no.
1144
00:54:15,304 --> 00:54:16,570
No, I assure you.
1145
00:54:16,603 --> 00:54:18,269
I know what I'm doing.
1146
00:54:18,304 --> 00:54:19,803
The cards say no.
1147
00:54:23,169 --> 00:54:24,703
Oh, I see.
1148
00:54:24,736 --> 00:54:28,770
You are very old when
you are first having sex.
1149
00:54:28,803 --> 00:54:30,736
Surely you mean old enough.
1150
00:54:30,770 --> 00:54:32,736
No, I mean old.
1151
00:54:32,770 --> 00:54:34,403
Oh.
1152
00:54:35,101 --> 00:54:39,303
Oh, old is why you are only
having sex with four people?
1153
00:54:39,336 --> 00:54:41,135
Is that true?
1154
00:54:41,168 --> 00:54:42,570
Four?
1155
00:54:42,603 --> 00:54:43,503
No.
1156
00:54:43,536 --> 00:54:44,336
No?
1157
00:54:44,369 --> 00:54:45,002
Well, yeah.
1158
00:54:45,036 --> 00:54:46,369
But what's wrong with that?
1159
00:54:46,403 --> 00:54:48,702
Oh, one does not count.
1160
00:54:48,735 --> 00:54:55,735
It ends uh, how you say...
prematurely.
1161
00:54:59,735 --> 00:55:01,802
Oh, that one looks promising.
1162
00:55:01,835 --> 00:55:05,802
Yeah, when is upright yes,
but for you is reverse.
1163
00:55:05,835 --> 00:55:06,635
Oh.
1164
00:55:06,669 --> 00:55:08,735
Oh.
1165
00:55:08,769 --> 00:55:10,101
Grey one.
1166
00:55:10,135 --> 00:55:10,902
Yeah?
1167
00:55:10,936 --> 00:55:13,200
You're not having
the big booms?
1168
00:55:13,234 --> 00:55:15,535
What?
1169
00:55:15,569 --> 00:55:18,368
The big booms.
1170
00:55:18,402 --> 00:55:20,802
The rolling thunder.
1171
00:55:20,835 --> 00:55:23,335
The crotch magic,
you know?
1172
00:55:23,368 --> 00:55:25,368
Like, oh yeah, baby.
1173
00:55:25,402 --> 00:55:26,200
I love it!
1174
00:55:26,235 --> 00:55:27,067
You know?
1175
00:55:27,100 --> 00:55:28,769
Like, woah Nealy gets
really crazy,
1176
00:55:28,801 --> 00:55:30,167
that kind of sex.
1177
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,768
Like uh, like magic time.
1178
00:55:32,801 --> 00:55:34,100
Like crotch magic.
1179
00:55:34,134 --> 00:55:35,602
Blast it off.
1180
00:55:35,635 --> 00:55:37,435
Blast up inside, you know?
1181
00:55:37,468 --> 00:55:38,834
I can't handle it anymore!
1182
00:55:38,868 --> 00:55:40,468
Like... woo!
1183
00:55:40,502 --> 00:55:41,468
This type of thing.
1184
00:55:41,502 --> 00:55:42,701
What-how you call it?
1185
00:55:42,734 --> 00:55:46,734
She sees... um,
you don't orgasm.
1186
00:55:46,768 --> 00:55:48,668
I got it. Thanks.
1187
00:55:48,701 --> 00:55:51,734
Oh, but you're giving booms
to yourself sometime,
1188
00:55:51,768 --> 00:55:52,701
that's good.
1189
00:55:52,734 --> 00:55:53,834
That's ok.
1190
00:55:53,868 --> 00:55:54,801
That's something, huh?
1191
00:55:58,134 --> 00:55:58,768
That's nice.
1192
00:55:58,801 --> 00:56:00,701
You keep that going, ok?
1193
00:56:01,467 --> 00:56:04,568
Now I'm going to see about
the one you come here with.
1194
00:56:04,601 --> 00:56:05,434
This guy over here.
1195
00:56:05,467 --> 00:56:06,301
Oh, oh.
1196
00:56:06,334 --> 00:56:07,701
Hey, now.
1197
00:56:13,367 --> 00:56:14,301
This is really lucky.
1198
00:56:14,334 --> 00:56:16,668
The devil's card in reverse
is representing
1199
00:56:16,701 --> 00:56:19,668
like breaking freedom
from restraint.
1200
00:56:19,701 --> 00:56:23,434
This guy is going to give
you the big booms!
1201
00:56:24,833 --> 00:56:26,200
Yes.
1202
00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:31,700
Isn't that amazing how accurate
the Madame is?
1203
00:56:44,833 --> 00:56:50,166
Well uh, thank you again
for a uh, revealing night.
1204
00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:54,466
Once again, she was so not right
about anything she said.
1205
00:56:54,500 --> 00:56:55,166
No.
1206
00:56:55,199 --> 00:56:55,667
By the way.
1207
00:56:55,700 --> 00:56:56,767
She's crazy.
1208
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,567
She said I rocked your world
when we barely even know
1209
00:56:58,600 --> 00:57:00,633
each other, let alone have had,
you know, sex.
1210
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:01,767
Right?
1211
00:57:01,799 --> 00:57:02,700
I know.
1212
00:57:02,733 --> 00:57:03,966
Like, what was she even saying?
1213
00:57:03,999 --> 00:57:09,366
That just me being close to you
I get like all... I don't know.
1214
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:10,199
Sorry, no.
1215
00:57:10,233 --> 00:57:13,866
Look how in control I am
around you.
1216
00:57:13,899 --> 00:57:15,832
Right.
1217
00:57:16,866 --> 00:57:18,499
Anyway, yeah, she was wrong.
1218
00:57:18,532 --> 00:57:20,432
She was crazy wrong.
1219
00:57:20,766 --> 00:57:22,532
Who knows?
1220
00:57:25,599 --> 00:57:28,666
Anyway, twice again,
for the official record,
1221
00:57:28,699 --> 00:57:31,499
I had absolutely no idea
about tonight
1222
00:57:31,532 --> 00:57:35,299
and I am so, so, so sorry.
1223
00:57:35,332 --> 00:57:36,799
I'm really sorry.
1224
00:57:36,832 --> 00:57:38,799
I'm not.
1225
00:57:46,265 --> 00:57:47,132
Goodnight.
1226
00:57:47,165 --> 00:57:48,499
Yeah.
1227
00:57:48,532 --> 00:57:50,132
I swear you're going
to get me fired.
1228
00:57:50,165 --> 00:57:52,666
Or even worse,
assigned to awful jobs.
1229
00:57:52,698 --> 00:57:55,566
Grant's a pretty big deal
at the firm, you know.
1230
00:57:55,599 --> 00:57:58,731
And you're a big deal to us,
Paul, but this isn't about you.
1231
00:57:58,765 --> 00:58:00,265
Yet.
1232
00:58:00,299 --> 00:58:02,565
The psychic didn't
say anything positive?
1233
00:58:02,598 --> 00:58:04,399
Just that I wouldn't end
up alone.
1234
00:58:04,432 --> 00:58:07,232
Well, that could just mean
she thinks you'll get a cat.
1235
00:58:07,265 --> 00:58:08,032
What?
1236
00:58:08,065 --> 00:58:09,299
Ok, let me paint a picture
for you.
1237
00:58:09,332 --> 00:58:13,631
If Grant is the devil and not
even he can get lucky with her,
1238
00:58:13,665 --> 00:58:16,331
then perhaps poor Luce
is destined to end up
1239
00:58:16,364 --> 00:58:18,798
with a litter of cats.
1240
00:58:18,831 --> 00:58:20,398
But seriously,
let's get back on point.
1241
00:58:20,431 --> 00:58:21,665
How did you two leave things?
1242
00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:23,398
Am I gonna have to avoid him
at the office?
1243
00:58:23,431 --> 00:58:26,565
Can't hear you.
I'm shopping.
1244
00:58:26,598 --> 00:58:29,164
Luce, quick question.
1245
00:58:29,197 --> 00:58:31,398
Isn't this the section for girls
who do get kissed?
1246
00:58:31,431 --> 00:58:32,197
Hey.
1247
00:58:32,231 --> 00:58:33,331
Just so you know,
1248
00:58:33,364 --> 00:58:34,665
he said he was gonna call this
weekend to make plans.
1249
00:58:34,698 --> 00:58:35,665
And no, I'm in
the right section.
1250
00:58:35,698 --> 00:58:36,498
Mmmhmm.
1251
00:58:36,531 --> 00:58:39,797
Guys, I have to tell
you something.
1252
00:58:39,830 --> 00:58:41,864
Good god, you're not preg-
how?
1253
00:58:41,897 --> 00:58:42,697
What?
1254
00:58:42,730 --> 00:58:43,331
No.
1255
00:58:43,364 --> 00:58:44,565
The question would be who,
1256
00:58:44,597 --> 00:58:47,530
since I can't even seem to get
a guy past the front porch.
1257
00:58:47,564 --> 00:58:48,530
You know those jeans
1258
00:58:48,564 --> 00:58:52,264
that make my ass look like
a sorority girl's?
1259
00:58:53,897 --> 00:58:55,397
Here?
1260
00:58:55,430 --> 00:58:56,497
We're going to
the women's section.
1261
00:58:56,530 --> 00:58:57,864
Nope, not the women's.
1262
00:58:57,897 --> 00:58:58,730
Men's?
1263
00:58:58,764 --> 00:58:59,597
That's brilliant.
1264
00:58:59,630 --> 00:59:00,597
Right here.
1265
00:59:00,630 --> 00:59:02,430
In maternity.
1266
00:59:03,097 --> 00:59:07,664
Look, they have this stretchy
stuff that goes over the stomach
1267
00:59:07,697 --> 00:59:11,363
and just kinda smooths
everything out.
1268
00:59:13,830 --> 00:59:15,797
I know, you think
I'm pathetic.
1269
00:59:15,830 --> 00:59:16,896
No, no.
1270
00:59:16,930 --> 00:59:19,297
I'm just trying to figure out
my size in women's.
1271
00:59:35,230 --> 00:59:38,163
Who knew strings could accompany
threesome-type sex so well?
1272
00:59:38,196 --> 00:59:39,663
I say we rehearse like this
all the time.
1273
00:59:40,696 --> 00:59:42,629
I'm so surprised you're still
doing the list.
1274
00:59:42,663 --> 00:59:43,696
I'm psyched.
1275
00:59:43,729 --> 00:59:46,396
I've been labelled
sexually grey.
1276
00:59:46,429 --> 00:59:47,863
It kinda solidified the mission.
1277
00:59:47,896 --> 00:59:49,796
And I've been waiting for Grant
to call me all week
1278
00:59:49,829 --> 00:59:53,329
so I figured I might as well
just watch my 25 films.
1279
00:59:53,362 --> 00:59:54,563
Why are you waiting
for him to call?
1280
00:59:54,596 --> 00:59:58,195
Why don't you call him?
1281
00:59:58,229 --> 01:00:00,329
Anyway, so I had one of these
on when it came time
1282
01:00:00,362 --> 01:00:02,462
to practise one day, so...
1283
01:00:02,496 --> 01:00:03,396
Well, if it means anything,
1284
01:00:03,429 --> 01:00:05,663
I've never heard you play
this good, girl.
1285
01:00:05,696 --> 01:00:06,895
Don't be ridiculous.
1286
01:00:06,929 --> 01:00:11,129
A month until the Philharmonic
auditions remember us when.
1287
01:00:11,162 --> 01:00:12,162
Mmmhmm.
1288
01:00:18,195 --> 01:00:20,129
Oh my god.
It's him.
1289
01:00:20,162 --> 01:00:20,595
The best man?
1290
01:00:20,628 --> 01:00:21,662
Yeah.
1291
01:00:21,695 --> 01:00:22,628
Do I-what,
do I answer?
1292
01:00:22,662 --> 01:00:23,262
No!
1293
01:00:23,296 --> 01:00:25,162
No.
1294
01:00:25,195 --> 01:00:26,495
Yes.
1295
01:00:26,528 --> 01:00:28,296
I don't know.
1296
01:00:28,329 --> 01:00:29,628
Ok, answer it or I will.
1297
01:00:29,662 --> 01:00:31,461
I already suffered through
high school once.
1298
01:00:31,495 --> 01:00:32,495
Ok.
1299
01:00:33,229 --> 01:00:34,361
Ok.
1300
01:00:35,695 --> 01:00:36,728
Hey.
1301
01:00:36,762 --> 01:00:38,228
Hey yourself.
It's Grant.
1302
01:00:38,261 --> 01:00:39,762
Listen, sorry I haven't
called you...
1303
01:00:39,795 --> 01:00:41,628
"Hey"? The man of your dreams
calls and you say "hey"?
1304
01:00:41,662 --> 01:00:43,261
Shh!
1305
01:00:43,295 --> 01:00:45,128
Uh, me shush?
1306
01:00:45,161 --> 01:00:46,528
No, sorry.
Not you.
1307
01:00:46,562 --> 01:00:47,595
I'm with the quartet.
1308
01:00:47,628 --> 01:00:49,328
Rehearsing some porn!
1309
01:00:50,395 --> 01:00:51,461
Did she say you're
watching porn?
1310
01:00:51,495 --> 01:00:52,161
No.
1311
01:00:52,194 --> 01:00:52,795
No, she did not.
1312
01:00:52,827 --> 01:00:54,628
She said "horn".
1313
01:00:54,662 --> 01:00:57,361
Yeah, we're adding a French horn
to the group.
1314
01:00:57,395 --> 01:00:59,562
Ah, well, I can't help you
with that.
1315
01:00:59,595 --> 01:01:02,794
So um, you're working
on a Saturday?
1316
01:01:02,827 --> 01:01:03,661
Uh, listen.
1317
01:01:03,694 --> 01:01:04,794
Sorry I haven't called
all week.
1318
01:01:04,827 --> 01:01:06,395
I've been bloody busy
in non-stop meetings and-
1319
01:01:06,428 --> 01:01:07,494
He was out
of town all week.
1320
01:01:07,527 --> 01:01:08,494
That's it.
1321
01:01:08,527 --> 01:01:09,395
Woohoo!
1322
01:01:09,428 --> 01:01:10,794
Oh, thank god.
1323
01:01:10,827 --> 01:01:12,128
There it is.
1324
01:01:12,527 --> 01:01:13,460
Oh!
1325
01:01:14,895 --> 01:01:15,661
Oh, Paul, your ass.
1326
01:01:15,694 --> 01:01:16,527
Turn it down!
1327
01:01:16,561 --> 01:01:18,460
Turn it down!
1328
01:01:19,594 --> 01:01:21,527
Sorry, Nessa just stubbed
her toe.
1329
01:01:21,561 --> 01:01:22,460
Why me?
1330
01:01:24,594 --> 01:01:25,527
Anyway, look.
1331
01:01:25,561 --> 01:01:27,193
I know it's last minute
but I was thinking,
1332
01:01:27,227 --> 01:01:28,527
if you wanted to go out-
1333
01:01:28,561 --> 01:01:29,460
I'd love to.
1334
01:01:29,494 --> 01:01:31,494
Yes. Whatever it is.
1335
01:01:31,527 --> 01:01:32,394
So sorry!
1336
01:01:33,627 --> 01:01:35,494
Not sorry.
1337
01:02:15,593 --> 01:02:16,593
Ok. Ok.
1338
01:02:16,626 --> 01:02:17,660
Here we go.
1339
01:02:17,693 --> 01:02:19,226
Wait. Wait.
1340
01:02:19,259 --> 01:02:20,459
What?
1341
01:02:34,426 --> 01:02:34,860
Mmm-mmm.
1342
01:02:34,893 --> 01:02:35,393
No?
1343
01:02:35,426 --> 01:02:36,359
You want me to stop?
1344
01:02:36,393 --> 01:02:37,793
What? No. Go.
1345
01:02:37,826 --> 01:02:38,326
No?
1346
01:02:38,359 --> 01:02:40,826
As in it's a no go?
1347
01:02:40,860 --> 01:02:42,159
No. No. Keep going.
1348
01:03:27,624 --> 01:03:29,759
The perfect pants
for you two.
1349
01:03:43,224 --> 01:03:44,357
Hi.
1350
01:03:44,391 --> 01:03:45,157
Hey.
1351
01:03:45,190 --> 01:03:46,424
Sorry, I didn't mean
to wake you.
1352
01:03:46,457 --> 01:03:48,424
Um, I was just gonna...
1353
01:03:49,457 --> 01:03:51,391
Oh.
1354
01:03:51,424 --> 01:03:52,224
Ok.
1355
01:04:02,124 --> 01:04:03,291
I'll call you.
1356
01:04:04,224 --> 01:04:05,457
Yeah.
1357
01:04:19,791 --> 01:04:20,390
Oh my god.
1358
01:04:20,423 --> 01:04:21,423
No! No!
1359
01:04:21,456 --> 01:04:24,256
Grant! Wait!
1360
01:04:24,290 --> 01:04:25,323
Shit.
1361
01:04:26,356 --> 01:04:27,157
No. No.
1362
01:04:27,189 --> 01:04:28,657
Grant! Wait!
1363
01:04:29,423 --> 01:04:32,456
Grant? Grant!
1364
01:04:32,490 --> 01:04:36,189
If it's about the porn
I can quit any time!
1365
01:04:38,623 --> 01:04:39,423
What?
1366
01:04:39,456 --> 01:04:42,356
So I watch porn.
Big fucking deal.
1367
01:04:42,390 --> 01:04:43,657
As long as it's consensual.
1368
01:04:43,691 --> 01:04:45,557
No judgement.
1369
01:04:57,456 --> 01:04:59,323
Stupid.
1370
01:04:59,356 --> 01:05:01,356
Useless!
1371
01:05:02,890 --> 01:05:05,622
This tastes like crap!
1372
01:05:07,355 --> 01:05:08,422
Disgusting!
1373
01:05:08,455 --> 01:05:09,622
Ugh!
1374
01:05:09,657 --> 01:05:10,823
Don't even work!
1375
01:05:12,255 --> 01:05:13,657
Ugh!
1376
01:05:18,589 --> 01:05:20,489
God, I can't believe this.
1377
01:05:21,222 --> 01:05:22,355
And you.
1378
01:06:23,187 --> 01:06:24,755
Stupid.
1379
01:06:44,621 --> 01:06:47,721
Ugh, Phil's penthouse
is just so gorge.
1380
01:06:47,755 --> 01:06:50,220
My boyfriend and I walked in
and he was all
1381
01:06:50,253 --> 01:06:52,688
"this place owns the skyline".
1382
01:06:52,721 --> 01:06:54,420
Well, it did take us about
a year to complete
1383
01:06:54,453 --> 01:06:56,220
so you can imagine
what it cost.
1384
01:06:56,253 --> 01:06:58,086
I don't do numbers.
1385
01:06:58,120 --> 01:07:00,120
Me neither, but like how much?
1386
01:07:00,153 --> 01:07:02,186
Anyway, if you thought
the penthouse is impressive
1387
01:07:02,220 --> 01:07:05,487
you really ought to see
his place in the Hamptons.
1388
01:07:05,521 --> 01:07:07,220
I can't wait to own multiple
homes in
1389
01:07:07,253 --> 01:07:08,754
which I don't actually live.
1390
01:07:08,787 --> 01:07:11,287
My boyfriend and I
love the Hams.
1391
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:13,253
The Hams?
1392
01:07:13,287 --> 01:07:14,453
Is that what we're calling
it now?
1393
01:07:14,487 --> 01:07:16,153
Only people who live there.
1394
01:07:16,186 --> 01:07:18,453
Or people who know people,
like my boyfriend does.
1395
01:07:18,486 --> 01:07:20,253
You guys need to meet him.
1396
01:07:20,287 --> 01:07:21,220
He'll be here in a minute.
1397
01:07:21,253 --> 01:07:22,086
Mmm.
1398
01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:23,452
You know what? I want
some more wine.
1399
01:07:23,486 --> 01:07:24,854
In fact, I'll take
an I.V. of it.
1400
01:07:24,887 --> 01:07:25,587
Noted.
1401
01:07:25,620 --> 01:07:26,452
Two I.V.'s.
1402
01:07:26,486 --> 01:07:28,754
Nessa, you've gotta slow
your roll, love.
1403
01:07:28,787 --> 01:07:31,219
Um, why are you guys here,
again?
1404
01:07:31,252 --> 01:07:33,386
Paul, he's doing
the panel thing.
1405
01:07:33,419 --> 01:07:37,787
Yeah, because he has actual
things to say.
1406
01:07:37,820 --> 01:07:39,386
Sorry.
1407
01:07:39,419 --> 01:07:42,185
Um, there is a designer
on the panel
1408
01:07:42,219 --> 01:07:45,119
and Paul wants
to ask her out.
1409
01:07:45,152 --> 01:07:47,152
He makes us act like
we're interested in him
1410
01:07:47,185 --> 01:07:49,452
so he can, like,
get girls.
1411
01:07:49,487 --> 01:07:51,786
Yeah, it's legitimizing.
1412
01:07:51,819 --> 01:07:54,085
Once I make partner I probably
won't need it.
1413
01:07:54,119 --> 01:07:55,252
He's right.
1414
01:07:55,286 --> 01:07:56,520
My boyfriend's a partner.
1415
01:07:56,554 --> 01:07:57,520
It's attractive.
1416
01:07:57,554 --> 01:07:59,819
I mean, my boyfriend's
already attractive.
1417
01:07:59,853 --> 01:08:01,085
My boyfriend.
1418
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:02,185
My boyfriend.
1419
01:08:02,219 --> 01:08:03,085
My boyfriend.
1420
01:08:03,119 --> 01:08:03,853
My boyfriend.
1421
01:08:03,886 --> 01:08:05,185
My boyfriend.
1422
01:08:05,219 --> 01:08:06,352
My boyfriend.
1423
01:08:06,386 --> 01:08:07,486
My boyfriend.
1424
01:08:07,519 --> 01:08:08,653
My boyfriend.
1425
01:08:08,686 --> 01:08:10,085
Maybe you should get
a shirt that says
1426
01:08:10,119 --> 01:08:11,286
"I have a boyfriend"
1427
01:08:11,319 --> 01:08:14,152
and then you wouldn't have
to tell us every five seconds.
1428
01:08:14,185 --> 01:08:14,753
Ok, refill.
1429
01:08:14,786 --> 01:08:16,219
Coming right up.
1430
01:08:16,251 --> 01:08:17,619
I didn't mean to make
you jealous.
1431
01:08:17,653 --> 01:08:18,418
Of what?
1432
01:08:18,452 --> 01:08:19,418
You know what?
1433
01:08:19,452 --> 01:08:20,486
This is a good time to go.
1434
01:08:20,519 --> 01:08:21,285
I'm good.
1435
01:08:21,318 --> 01:08:23,218
Oh, there he is.
1436
01:08:31,619 --> 01:08:33,786
Ugh.
1437
01:09:22,685 --> 01:09:24,618
I'm all out of sausage.
1438
01:09:24,652 --> 01:09:28,050
I hope you brought your hot,
throbbing co-
1439
01:09:30,684 --> 01:09:33,117
What am I doing?
1440
01:10:34,116 --> 01:10:35,383
Thank you.
1441
01:10:35,416 --> 01:10:37,116
We'll be in touch.
1442
01:10:38,716 --> 01:10:40,248
It's that way.
1443
01:10:47,816 --> 01:10:49,316
Hey, Priscilla, it's me.
1444
01:10:49,349 --> 01:10:51,449
So the audition went great.
1445
01:10:51,483 --> 01:10:52,650
I did it!
1446
01:10:52,683 --> 01:10:55,181
I finally crossed something
big off one of my lists.
1447
01:10:55,215 --> 01:10:57,349
Ah, I feel amazing.
1448
01:11:12,383 --> 01:11:14,148
Jeff's getting married?
1449
01:11:14,181 --> 01:11:16,382
And he's inviting you?
1450
01:11:16,415 --> 01:11:18,649
And this is his idea of
a wedding invitation?
1451
01:11:18,682 --> 01:11:20,448
Talk about no taste.
1452
01:11:20,482 --> 01:11:21,615
It gets worse.
1453
01:11:21,649 --> 01:11:22,749
Don't even.
1454
01:11:22,782 --> 01:11:24,214
He wants you to play
at the wedding.
1455
01:11:24,247 --> 01:11:25,214
Us.
1456
01:11:25,248 --> 01:11:25,782
Yeah.
1457
01:11:25,815 --> 01:11:26,715
He wants the quartet.
1458
01:11:26,749 --> 01:11:28,081
Well, we're not doing that.
1459
01:11:28,114 --> 01:11:29,180
And I don't even understand,
1460
01:11:29,214 --> 01:11:30,715
why would he want you to be
there at the wedding?
1461
01:11:30,749 --> 01:11:31,949
Maybe he feels guilty.
1462
01:11:31,982 --> 01:11:35,080
I don't know, maybe he feels
like he's doing me a big favour.
1463
01:11:35,114 --> 01:11:36,214
How is this a favour?
1464
01:11:36,248 --> 01:11:37,549
The girl's family is loaded.
1465
01:11:37,582 --> 01:11:40,549
Ok, so we're absolutely
doing it.
1466
01:11:40,582 --> 01:11:42,448
But Jeff is a tool.
1467
01:11:42,482 --> 01:11:44,315
And not a sharp one.
1468
01:11:45,482 --> 01:11:46,748
Do you know, Luce, when uh,
1469
01:11:46,781 --> 01:11:50,615
when Sharon left me
for Jennifer...
1470
01:11:50,648 --> 01:11:53,282
it was more the rejection
that hurt.
1471
01:11:53,315 --> 01:11:54,681
Not necessarily her leaving.
1472
01:11:54,714 --> 01:11:57,514
Honestly, I don't really care
about Jeff leaving.
1473
01:11:57,548 --> 01:11:58,781
And who wants to have
super lame sex
1474
01:11:58,814 --> 01:12:00,548
the rest of their life, anyway?
1475
01:12:00,581 --> 01:12:01,648
Uh, I do.
1476
01:12:01,681 --> 01:12:05,814
Lame sex, virtual sex,
the faint possibility of sex,
1477
01:12:05,848 --> 01:12:07,848
any of which would be more
than I'm currently getting.
1478
01:12:07,881 --> 01:12:09,681
I can't even get my hand
to have sex with me anymore.
1479
01:12:09,714 --> 01:12:12,147
Yeah, well, maybe if you dressed
up your hand like a redhead
1480
01:12:12,179 --> 01:12:14,681
who cooks, loves musicals,
and has a PhD...
1481
01:12:14,714 --> 01:12:16,748
I'm sad to report
that my standards
1482
01:12:16,781 --> 01:12:18,781
have dropped somewhat
significantly.
1483
01:12:18,814 --> 01:12:19,614
Oh yeah?
1484
01:12:19,648 --> 01:12:21,146
Well, what is your type
these days?
1485
01:12:21,179 --> 01:12:22,648
Willing.
1486
01:12:23,781 --> 01:12:24,648
And I've got to go to Vegas
for a bachelor party.
1487
01:12:24,681 --> 01:12:27,314
I swear, all those boobs
I can't touch
1488
01:12:27,347 --> 01:12:28,781
might just be the end of me.
1489
01:12:28,813 --> 01:12:30,748
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
no one over the age of two
1490
01:12:30,780 --> 01:12:33,713
has ever died
from lack of boob.
1491
01:12:33,747 --> 01:12:34,548
That's a valid point.
1492
01:12:34,581 --> 01:12:36,813
Wait a second,
when are you leaving?
1493
01:12:36,847 --> 01:12:37,713
For Vegas?
1494
01:12:37,747 --> 01:12:38,713
Yeah.
1495
01:12:38,747 --> 01:12:40,780
Tomorrow, why?
1496
01:12:40,813 --> 01:12:42,414
Because I need to finish
my list
1497
01:12:42,447 --> 01:12:43,747
and there's this Vegas thing
on there.
1498
01:12:43,780 --> 01:12:45,713
No, no, no, you need
to finish it
1499
01:12:45,747 --> 01:12:47,113
because Jeff's getting married.
1500
01:12:47,146 --> 01:12:48,079
No, I-
1501
01:12:48,113 --> 01:12:49,314
Besides, Grant's
gonna be there.
1502
01:12:49,347 --> 01:12:50,713
I don't care if Grant's
gonna be there.
1503
01:12:50,747 --> 01:12:53,214
I just need to finish my list,
alright?
1504
01:12:53,247 --> 01:12:55,413
And you're gonna help me.
1505
01:12:55,446 --> 01:12:56,446
So just embarrassing me
1506
01:12:56,480 --> 01:12:58,580
at the strip club wasn't enough
for you, was it?
1507
01:12:58,613 --> 01:12:59,780
This'll be so much better.
1508
01:12:59,813 --> 01:13:00,613
Will it be, though?
1509
01:13:00,647 --> 01:13:01,647
Yeah.
1510
01:13:02,513 --> 01:13:04,346
Could I get more needles
in here, please?
1511
01:13:04,380 --> 01:13:05,680
Tensing up!
1512
01:13:41,746 --> 01:13:43,412
You need to have sex.
1513
01:13:43,445 --> 01:13:45,245
And I have to finish
my list.
1514
01:13:45,279 --> 01:13:46,712
So it's a win-win.
1515
01:13:46,746 --> 01:13:47,879
Um, for losers.
1516
01:13:47,913 --> 01:13:50,612
So I'm not sure we come out
on the right side of this.
1517
01:13:50,646 --> 01:13:51,779
Ok.
1518
01:13:51,812 --> 01:13:54,379
Here is who's working today.
1519
01:13:56,445 --> 01:13:57,345
Nope.
1520
01:13:57,379 --> 01:13:58,379
Can't do it.
1521
01:13:58,412 --> 01:13:59,077
Do you know what?
1522
01:13:59,112 --> 01:14:00,312
They're probably all diseased.
1523
01:14:00,345 --> 01:14:02,379
No, you're more likely to catch
something in a sorority house.
1524
01:14:02,412 --> 01:14:03,612
See?
1525
01:14:03,646 --> 01:14:06,212
Here is a whole information
sheet about their weekly tests,
1526
01:14:06,245 --> 01:14:08,178
how they check each customer
for symptoms,
1527
01:14:08,212 --> 01:14:11,645
and clean everyone's genitals
with anti-bacterial-
1528
01:14:11,678 --> 01:14:13,312
How about we don't use
the word "genitals"?
1529
01:14:13,345 --> 01:14:14,845
Will you please just go
in there and do the deed
1530
01:14:14,878 --> 01:14:16,078
so you can report back?
1531
01:14:16,112 --> 01:14:18,112
Why don't you just go inside
and do the deed and report back?
1532
01:14:18,145 --> 01:14:20,078
Because they don't service
lesbians or straight girls
1533
01:14:20,112 --> 01:14:21,444
who like sex with women.
1534
01:14:21,478 --> 01:14:23,645
How do you know they
don't service women?
1535
01:14:23,678 --> 01:14:26,444
Oh my god, you called
and asked for yourself.
1536
01:14:26,478 --> 01:14:29,078
Wow, you really have
turned over a new leaf.
1537
01:14:29,112 --> 01:14:32,478
Look, you buy women
nice dinners all the time
1538
01:14:32,511 --> 01:14:33,745
hoping to get sex out of it,
correct?
1539
01:14:33,778 --> 01:14:35,511
What?
1540
01:14:35,545 --> 01:14:36,611
Pfff.
1541
01:14:38,611 --> 01:14:39,278
I- I do.
1542
01:14:39,311 --> 01:14:40,478
Yeah.
1543
01:14:40,511 --> 01:14:43,645
So that's just a more honest
side of the exact same coin,
1544
01:14:43,678 --> 01:14:46,378
and it's perfectly natural.
1545
01:14:47,378 --> 01:14:49,511
I'm not going in there alone.
1546
01:14:49,545 --> 01:14:52,177
Well, great, let's get
in there.
1547
01:14:52,211 --> 01:14:54,545
Wow. Called my bluff.
1548
01:14:56,877 --> 01:14:58,810
Oh boy, this is happening.
1549
01:15:01,244 --> 01:15:02,744
Hey, sweetheart.
1550
01:15:02,777 --> 01:15:04,344
You worry too much.
1551
01:15:04,378 --> 01:15:07,177
I told you there'd be other
normal people here.
1552
01:15:07,211 --> 01:15:08,311
Howdy, fellas.
1553
01:15:08,344 --> 01:15:10,077
How y'all doin' today?
1554
01:15:10,111 --> 01:15:12,777
We're here to get her some,
if you know what I mean.
1555
01:15:12,810 --> 01:15:15,277
Ain't that right,
honey bunch?
1556
01:15:15,310 --> 01:15:17,677
It's a perfectly natural thing.
1557
01:15:17,710 --> 01:15:20,077
What dialect is that?
1558
01:15:20,110 --> 01:15:21,243
Is it not southern?
1559
01:15:21,277 --> 01:15:22,610
Not at all.
1560
01:15:22,644 --> 01:15:24,810
And just to be clear,
this is already not worth it.
1561
01:15:24,844 --> 01:15:27,610
Just so we are clear, am I to
share your girl or get my own?
1562
01:15:27,644 --> 01:15:30,544
I mean, we've not really worked
out any of the details here.
1563
01:15:32,210 --> 01:15:33,310
Oh.
1564
01:15:34,876 --> 01:15:36,243
Interesting.
1565
01:15:36,809 --> 01:15:39,809
Ladies? Please say hello.
1566
01:15:40,709 --> 01:15:43,577
Just like that, here they come,
down the staircase.
1567
01:15:43,609 --> 01:15:45,676
Oh, that's a nice dress.
1568
01:15:46,643 --> 01:15:48,043
Thank you.
1569
01:15:48,509 --> 01:15:50,110
I need to go to the bathroom.
1570
01:15:50,143 --> 01:15:53,310
Uh... I can't do this.
1571
01:15:53,343 --> 01:15:54,476
I'm so, so sorry.
1572
01:15:54,509 --> 01:15:55,509
May I squeeze through?
1573
01:15:55,543 --> 01:15:57,576
Good luck.
1574
01:15:58,276 --> 01:16:00,409
What happened to your boyfriend?
1575
01:16:00,442 --> 01:16:02,609
Oh, no, he's not
my boyfriend.
1576
01:16:02,643 --> 01:16:06,576
He's more of a colleague.
1577
01:16:06,609 --> 01:16:08,509
Excuse me, doll?
1578
01:16:08,543 --> 01:16:11,309
We don't service
single women here.
1579
01:16:11,342 --> 01:16:15,409
Actually, I want to apply
for a job.
1580
01:16:16,442 --> 01:16:17,609
As...?
1581
01:16:17,643 --> 01:16:19,609
As a... you know,
1582
01:16:19,643 --> 01:16:22,309
what they are-do.
1583
01:16:22,342 --> 01:16:23,509
Hi.
1584
01:16:23,543 --> 01:16:26,209
You want to be a working girl.
1585
01:16:26,242 --> 01:16:27,609
Yeah.
1586
01:16:34,376 --> 01:16:35,508
Wow.
1587
01:16:35,542 --> 01:16:36,808
How'd it go?
1588
01:16:36,842 --> 01:16:40,375
Well, I applied to be
one of the girls.
1589
01:16:40,408 --> 01:16:41,542
I'm sorry, what?
1590
01:16:41,575 --> 01:16:44,209
Well, I didn't get the job,
obviously.
1591
01:16:44,242 --> 01:16:45,441
So quick question.
1592
01:16:45,475 --> 01:16:46,775
When I tell the story later,
1593
01:16:46,808 --> 01:16:48,341
which do you think is going
to be better?
1594
01:16:48,375 --> 01:16:50,109
The fact that you applied
to be a prostitute
1595
01:16:50,142 --> 01:16:51,475
or that you didn't get
the job?
1596
01:16:51,508 --> 01:16:53,141
Anyway, I'm really sorry
1597
01:16:53,174 --> 01:16:54,508
that you're late for
your bachelor party.
1598
01:16:54,542 --> 01:16:55,275
No, that's alright.
1599
01:16:55,308 --> 01:16:56,208
I'll just tell them
the truth,
1600
01:16:56,241 --> 01:16:58,308
that you got hung up
at a job interview.
1601
01:16:58,341 --> 01:16:59,608
I'm just teasing.
1602
01:16:59,642 --> 01:17:01,441
They'd be lucky
to have you.
1603
01:17:01,475 --> 01:17:02,608
Thank you.
1604
01:17:18,174 --> 01:17:19,275
Here we are, huh?
1605
01:17:19,308 --> 01:17:21,707
Well, I mean, are you sure you
don't wanna come along?
1606
01:17:21,741 --> 01:17:23,574
You can always be the
entertainment package.
1607
01:17:23,607 --> 01:17:26,174
No, I'm just gonna
wander around.
1608
01:17:26,208 --> 01:17:27,009
Alright.
1609
01:17:27,041 --> 01:17:28,541
All I want right now
is a quiet bar
1610
01:17:28,574 --> 01:17:31,074
and an artfully
crafted cocktail.
1611
01:17:31,108 --> 01:17:31,674
Fair enough.
1612
01:17:31,707 --> 01:17:32,340
Have fun!
1613
01:17:32,374 --> 01:17:33,674
Alright, have a good night!
1614
01:17:35,541 --> 01:17:37,474
Woooo!
1615
01:17:41,507 --> 01:17:42,674
Yes!
1616
01:17:43,474 --> 01:17:44,674
Ooh, that's strong.
1617
01:17:44,707 --> 01:17:46,307
Let's take a picture.
1618
01:17:46,507 --> 01:17:47,807
My new friends.
1619
01:17:47,841 --> 01:17:50,340
One, two, three.
1620
01:17:52,507 --> 01:17:53,774
Alright, Vegas.
1621
01:17:53,806 --> 01:17:56,641
Welcome to karaoke night
at the Blue Saloon.
1622
01:17:56,674 --> 01:17:58,641
Up next we've got...
1623
01:18:00,706 --> 01:18:02,407
Lucy Neal.
1624
01:18:02,440 --> 01:18:03,407
Come on up.
1625
01:18:03,440 --> 01:18:04,407
What?
1626
01:18:04,440 --> 01:18:05,440
Oh, no.
1627
01:18:05,474 --> 01:18:07,207
No, I didn't sign up.
1628
01:18:07,240 --> 01:18:09,407
Well, someone put your name
in there.
1629
01:18:10,439 --> 01:18:14,107
Well... actually,
I don't sing.
1630
01:18:14,140 --> 01:18:15,373
What do you do, then?
1631
01:18:15,406 --> 01:18:19,841
Um... I'm a violinist?
1632
01:18:19,874 --> 01:18:21,439
Oh.
1633
01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:24,107
Well then why don't
you come down
1634
01:18:24,139 --> 01:18:25,073
and play some violin for us?
1635
01:18:25,106 --> 01:18:25,506
Oh, no, no, no.
1636
01:18:25,540 --> 01:18:26,172
No, I'm good.
1637
01:18:26,206 --> 01:18:27,206
Thank you.
1638
01:18:27,239 --> 01:18:28,406
Come on, there's only like
five people in here.
1639
01:18:28,439 --> 01:18:29,740
What've you got to lose?
1640
01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:31,339
Get up here, have some fun.
1641
01:18:31,841 --> 01:18:33,206
Crap.
1642
01:18:33,439 --> 01:18:34,673
Ok.
1643
01:18:36,206 --> 01:18:38,239
Not cool, guys.
1644
01:18:39,106 --> 01:18:40,339
Give it up for Lucy.
1645
01:18:43,606 --> 01:18:45,739
I play classical mostly.
1646
01:18:45,772 --> 01:18:46,606
Don't worry about it.
1647
01:18:46,639 --> 01:18:48,106
Just play along.
We're in the key of G.
1648
01:18:48,139 --> 01:18:48,639
It's an original.
1649
01:18:48,672 --> 01:18:50,106
There's your bow.
1650
01:18:52,273 --> 01:18:53,539
Are you guys ready?
1651
01:19:28,405 --> 01:19:33,138
♪ Hello my lovely baby,
I want you near, ♪
1652
01:19:33,171 --> 01:19:35,338
♪ I see you walking
through my door, ♪
1653
01:19:35,372 --> 01:19:36,839
♪ And it is clear, ♪
1654
01:19:36,872 --> 01:19:41,405
♪ I need you more and more,
don't I? ♪
1655
01:19:41,438 --> 01:19:45,437
♪ I want you more and more
in my life, ♪
1656
01:19:45,471 --> 01:19:48,772
♪ So hey, come on in, ♪
1657
01:20:05,404 --> 01:20:07,271
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1658
01:20:07,304 --> 01:20:10,304
♪ I feel I'm getting cold, ♪
1659
01:20:14,237 --> 01:20:16,371
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1660
01:20:16,404 --> 01:20:19,504
♪ I feel my heart
in my soul, ♪
1661
01:20:21,738 --> 01:20:23,070
♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪
1662
01:20:23,104 --> 01:20:24,838
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1663
01:20:24,871 --> 01:20:27,404
♪ Wake me up in my soul, ♪
1664
01:20:31,271 --> 01:20:33,436
♪ Wake me up baby, ♪
1665
01:20:33,470 --> 01:20:36,436
♪ I feel my heart's
getting cold, ♪
1666
01:20:36,470 --> 01:20:37,503
♪ I don't wanna get cold, ♪
1667
01:20:37,537 --> 01:20:38,470
♪ Now, warm me up, ♪
1668
01:20:38,503 --> 01:20:40,637
♪ warm me up,
warm me up, ♪
1669
01:20:42,503 --> 01:20:46,603
♪ And I am fallin' fallin'
fallin' for you so I, ♪
1670
01:20:46,637 --> 01:20:48,670
♪ Realize I that
I am old and, ♪
1671
01:20:48,704 --> 01:20:53,169
♪ Suddenly it seems
everyone has left me, ♪
1672
01:20:53,203 --> 01:20:56,203
♪ Suddenly as it seems
as the future's ♪
1673
01:20:56,236 --> 01:20:59,236
♪ right in front of me ♪
1674
01:21:02,270 --> 01:21:02,770
Yeah!
1675
01:21:02,803 --> 01:21:04,069
Alright, Lucy!
1676
01:21:05,336 --> 01:21:07,069
Yeah.
1677
01:21:07,103 --> 01:21:09,270
Well done.
1678
01:21:09,303 --> 01:21:11,370
Alright, let's see
who's up next.
1679
01:21:11,403 --> 01:21:14,069
Anyone else have any
hidden talents out there?
1680
01:21:16,403 --> 01:21:17,703
What're you doing here?
1681
01:21:17,737 --> 01:21:21,402
Shouldn't you be at the bachelor
party with Paul?
1682
01:21:21,435 --> 01:21:24,203
Paul showed me the picture
you texted him
1683
01:21:24,236 --> 01:21:27,469
of you and the posse
of Harvard boys.
1684
01:21:27,502 --> 01:21:28,670
I recognized the bar so-
1685
01:21:28,703 --> 01:21:29,402
What, so you-
1686
01:21:29,435 --> 01:21:31,302
Thought I'd come looking
for you.
1687
01:21:31,335 --> 01:21:33,803
Please tell me you've got
better than that.
1688
01:21:37,569 --> 01:21:39,502
How about I tell you how sorry
I am that I fell off
1689
01:21:39,536 --> 01:21:41,569
the face of the earth?
1690
01:21:43,269 --> 01:21:44,536
I was an idiot.
1691
01:21:44,569 --> 01:21:47,302
Why didn't you call?
1692
01:21:47,335 --> 01:21:49,536
A bunch of reasons.
1693
01:21:49,569 --> 01:21:51,335
None of them good.
1694
01:21:53,168 --> 01:21:54,235
Ok, look.
1695
01:21:54,269 --> 01:21:55,669
This has been fun and thank you
for whatever this is
1696
01:21:55,702 --> 01:21:56,369
but I am not-
1697
01:21:56,402 --> 01:21:57,435
But-but wait.
1698
01:21:57,469 --> 01:22:00,302
Can I just have one second?
1699
01:22:00,335 --> 01:22:04,535
Meeting you was
a big surprise.
1700
01:22:04,568 --> 01:22:09,368
And then I realized how much
I really liked you.
1701
01:22:09,401 --> 01:22:10,401
But then I-I just-
1702
01:22:10,434 --> 01:22:13,234
Decided to show your
considerable appreciation
1703
01:22:13,268 --> 01:22:17,201
by sleeping with me
and then running out?
1704
01:22:17,234 --> 01:22:19,669
It's just-it's a scary
proposition.
1705
01:22:19,702 --> 01:22:20,535
What's scary?
1706
01:22:20,568 --> 01:22:21,101
I'm scary?
1707
01:22:21,134 --> 01:22:24,101
What is scary about me?
1708
01:22:27,368 --> 01:22:32,167
For starters, you're
obsessed with sex.
1709
01:22:36,768 --> 01:22:42,468
Look, you came around
at a really weird time.
1710
01:22:42,501 --> 01:22:44,534
And I know the list is bizarre
1711
01:22:44,568 --> 01:22:48,201
but I've got something
important to prove.
1712
01:22:48,234 --> 01:22:49,401
Prove what? To who?
1713
01:22:49,433 --> 01:22:51,201
To myself.
1714
01:22:53,868 --> 01:23:00,433
I guess... I need to prove
to myself that I'm enough.
1715
01:23:09,300 --> 01:23:11,467
Leaving like that
was a mistake.
1716
01:23:11,500 --> 01:23:14,801
Not calling you
was a mistake.
1717
01:23:14,835 --> 01:23:17,768
Will you please forgive me?
1718
01:23:35,367 --> 01:23:36,534
Sorry.
1719
01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:42,266
Woah, woah, woah.
1720
01:23:42,299 --> 01:23:43,266
Wait. Wait. Stop.
1721
01:23:43,299 --> 01:23:44,001
Stop?
1722
01:23:44,033 --> 01:23:46,266
I don't wanna hurt
the baby.
1723
01:23:46,299 --> 01:23:47,834
What?
1724
01:23:47,867 --> 01:23:52,132
Um... I'm not pregnant.
1725
01:23:52,165 --> 01:23:53,432
I beg your pardon?
1726
01:23:53,466 --> 01:23:54,165
Wait-
1727
01:23:54,199 --> 01:23:55,266
You're not?
1728
01:23:55,299 --> 01:23:57,800
I know-I know
I've been emotional
1729
01:23:57,834 --> 01:24:00,567
and like I'm craving some weird
stuff, but oh my-oh my god,
1730
01:24:00,600 --> 01:24:01,199
do I look pregnant?
1731
01:24:01,232 --> 01:24:02,165
No, no, no.
1732
01:24:02,199 --> 01:24:02,966
You're not emotional.
1733
01:24:03,000 --> 01:24:04,232
You look stunning
and beautiful.
1734
01:24:04,266 --> 01:24:10,266
It's uh, at your house you had
maternity pants on the chair.
1735
01:24:10,299 --> 01:24:12,766
Honestly, I saw the pants
and I freaked out
1736
01:24:12,799 --> 01:24:15,065
and that's why I left.
1737
01:24:15,099 --> 01:24:17,232
Oh my god.
1738
01:24:17,266 --> 01:24:19,232
What?
1739
01:24:19,266 --> 01:24:20,199
Oh my god.
1740
01:24:20,232 --> 01:24:23,733
You left because you thought
I was pregnant?
1741
01:24:23,766 --> 01:24:25,232
It's a scary proposition.
1742
01:24:30,298 --> 01:24:31,431
Wow.
1743
01:24:34,599 --> 01:24:36,098
Wait.
1744
01:24:37,198 --> 01:24:40,566
You thought that and you
still wanted to be with me.
1745
01:24:50,466 --> 01:24:51,832
We like the same books.
1746
01:24:51,865 --> 01:24:53,331
Mmm.
1747
01:24:53,365 --> 01:24:55,131
Not in the same order.
1748
01:24:55,164 --> 01:24:56,231
You're right.
1749
01:24:56,265 --> 01:24:58,398
It's never gonna work.
1750
01:25:25,097 --> 01:25:26,063
Luce, it's Paul.
1751
01:25:26,097 --> 01:25:26,765
You're never gonna believe this.
1752
01:25:26,798 --> 01:25:27,865
I've met the girl of my dreams.
1753
01:25:27,899 --> 01:25:30,364
Her name is Destiny and yes,
she is a stripper.
1754
01:25:30,398 --> 01:25:32,063
Let me tell you...
1755
01:25:35,163 --> 01:25:36,831
Hi Lucy, Howard Gregson.
1756
01:25:36,864 --> 01:25:40,063
Our committee loved
your audition but ultimately
1757
01:25:40,097 --> 01:25:42,532
decided your playing
is too expansive.
1758
01:25:42,565 --> 01:25:45,264
A hair uninhibited
for our conductor.
1759
01:25:45,297 --> 01:25:48,097
But I think your skills
are just a bit misplaced.
1760
01:25:48,130 --> 01:25:50,097
To that end I have an
opportunity coming up
1761
01:25:50,130 --> 01:25:51,764
in a couple of weeks.
1762
01:26:17,464 --> 01:26:18,764
- Hey.
- Hey.
1763
01:26:18,797 --> 01:26:19,797
You all ready
for the wedding?
1764
01:26:19,831 --> 01:26:23,129
Yes, but there's something
we need to do first.
1765
01:26:30,364 --> 01:26:32,096
Wow.
1766
01:26:32,129 --> 01:26:33,796
Well, you've still got one
more thing on your list.
1767
01:26:33,830 --> 01:26:35,296
Oh.
1768
01:26:35,330 --> 01:26:36,464
Yes, I do.
1769
01:26:36,497 --> 01:26:38,062
Let's go.
1770
01:26:45,329 --> 01:26:45,863
There you go.
1771
01:26:45,897 --> 01:26:46,830
Thank you guys so much.
1772
01:26:46,863 --> 01:26:48,396
Thank you.
1773
01:26:48,429 --> 01:26:49,295
- Hi.
- Hi.
1774
01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:50,196
Hey.
1775
01:26:50,228 --> 01:26:51,262
Who can I make it out to?
1776
01:26:51,295 --> 01:26:52,162
Uh, Lucy.
1777
01:26:52,195 --> 01:26:54,096
Yeah, she's a big fan.
1778
01:26:54,128 --> 01:26:56,128
Um, how do I spell that?
1779
01:26:57,830 --> 01:27:00,730
Actually, there's a much
bigger fan
1780
01:27:00,763 --> 01:27:03,496
that you should make this
out to.
1781
01:27:05,830 --> 01:27:09,195
I mean, this is just so Jeff.
1782
01:27:10,696 --> 01:27:11,795
Care to dance?
1783
01:27:11,829 --> 01:27:14,028
Yes, I would love to.
1784
01:27:33,362 --> 01:27:35,328
Ok, Stan.
1785
01:27:35,362 --> 01:27:36,762
Woo!
1786
01:27:36,795 --> 01:27:37,362
Hey, there she is.
1787
01:27:37,395 --> 01:27:39,227
Here, come on.
Switch.
1788
01:27:39,262 --> 01:27:40,428
Oh.
1789
01:27:41,362 --> 01:27:42,595
Hey, congratulations.
1790
01:27:42,629 --> 01:27:43,328
Oh, thanks.
1791
01:27:43,362 --> 01:27:45,127
And thanks for playing
for us.
1792
01:27:45,160 --> 01:27:47,328
The force is strong
with you.
1793
01:27:50,961 --> 01:27:52,295
Mind if I...?
1794
01:27:53,328 --> 01:27:54,695
That's cool.
1795
01:27:56,395 --> 01:27:58,362
Thanks for doing this.
1796
01:27:58,395 --> 01:28:00,094
The price was right.
1797
01:28:00,127 --> 01:28:00,995
Is that the only reason?
1798
01:28:01,027 --> 01:28:05,228
No. Well, maybe.
Ok, yes. It was. But...
1799
01:28:05,262 --> 01:28:06,160
Ok.
1800
01:28:06,194 --> 01:28:07,728
I'm glad I did.
1801
01:28:07,761 --> 01:28:08,694
I'm glad we're good.
1802
01:28:08,728 --> 01:28:10,328
Me too.
1803
01:28:10,362 --> 01:28:11,328
Uh, I gotta ask you.
1804
01:28:11,362 --> 01:28:15,761
Um, whatever happened
to that list you had?
1805
01:28:15,794 --> 01:28:17,761
The interesting one?
1806
01:28:17,794 --> 01:28:20,628
Wait until you see the wedding
gift I got for you.
1807
01:28:37,394 --> 01:28:39,694
I can't find it.
1808
01:28:39,728 --> 01:28:43,294
That's because
it's right here.
1809
01:28:45,093 --> 01:28:48,294
And I can't wait to give it
to you.
1810
01:28:57,560 --> 01:28:58,793
I'm... married.
1811
01:28:58,827 --> 01:29:00,660
I'm-I got married.
1812
01:29:00,693 --> 01:29:03,327
I'm married today.
1813
01:29:05,827 --> 01:29:07,827
Thank you so much
for doing this.
1814
01:29:07,860 --> 01:29:09,393
What can I say?
1815
01:29:09,426 --> 01:29:10,660
I believe in love.
1816
01:29:10,693 --> 01:29:12,793
Hey, Luce, all the bridesmaids
are twerking
1817
01:29:12,827 --> 01:29:14,260
on the dance floor...
1818
01:29:14,293 --> 01:29:16,326
Hi.
1819
01:29:16,360 --> 01:29:17,226
I'm Paul.
1820
01:29:17,260 --> 01:29:19,760
I'm Honey.
1821
01:29:19,793 --> 01:29:22,693
Delighted.
1822
01:29:22,727 --> 01:29:24,193
Are you gonna ask me
to dance?
1823
01:29:24,226 --> 01:29:25,193
Yes, yes I am.
1824
01:29:25,226 --> 01:29:26,760
Right this way, please.
1825
01:29:36,125 --> 01:29:37,426
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
1826
01:29:37,460 --> 01:29:40,125
there's only a few songs left
so get out on the dance floor.
1827
01:29:40,159 --> 01:29:43,092
Let's celebrate
Jeff and Anne tonight.
1828
01:29:43,125 --> 01:29:44,726
Let's send them off
with style.
1829
01:29:44,759 --> 01:29:48,425
Don't forget to tip
your bartender.
1830
01:30:04,492 --> 01:30:05,225
What?
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