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1
00:00:06,683 --> 00:00:11,223
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
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00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:19,074
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00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:49,632
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
4
00:01:01,176 --> 00:01:03,544
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
5
00:01:04,344 --> 00:01:06,199
[ Thunderclap ]
6
00:01:09,684 --> 00:01:11,635
[ Chattering ]
7
00:01:15,153 --> 00:01:16,881
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
8
00:01:18,990 --> 00:01:20,875
- Paint it.
- Pardon me?
9
00:01:20,908 --> 00:01:23,148
Yeah, paint it.
I'd go with a latex too.
10
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:40,833
You know, when I went
into the P.R. business,
11
00:01:40,865 --> 00:01:43,231
I never realized it stood
for "personal ruin."
12
00:01:49,849 --> 00:01:51,354
[ Sighs ]
13
00:01:53,977 --> 00:01:56,760
Hey, hey, buddy.
14
00:01:56,791 --> 00:01:59,957
- What, she break your heart
or take a shot at you?
- Don't ask.
15
00:01:59,988 --> 00:02:03,315
- Hey, you want
to talk about it?
- I said don't ask, okay?
16
00:02:03,347 --> 00:02:04,946
Well, come on, Joe.
17
00:02:04,979 --> 00:02:07,698
What is it,
your P.R. business,
your clients or what?
18
00:02:07,729 --> 00:02:10,511
My business. Hmm.
What business?
19
00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:13,580
What about
the Garshbuller's Candied
Dental Floss Company?
20
00:02:13,612 --> 00:02:17,865
Ah, hit with a class action
tooth decay suit.
21
00:02:17,898 --> 00:02:22,984
And to be honest with you,
I'm sick and tired of promoting
the Blue Underwear Company.
22
00:02:24,005 --> 00:02:25,541
Although at least,
they're still in business.
23
00:02:25,574 --> 00:02:29,093
But blue underwear--
[ Chuckles ]
it turns my stomach.
24
00:02:29,123 --> 00:02:31,969
Who wears blue underwear,
huh? Am I right?
It's offensive.
25
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:34,623
Well, yeah, okay,
all right, but, uh--
26
00:02:34,656 --> 00:02:36,798
Okay, how about that guy,
uh, the swimmer?
27
00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:38,685
Gadstone Simkins?
28
00:02:38,718 --> 00:02:41,692
Don't ask.
I get him write-ups
in the New Yorker.
29
00:02:41,724 --> 00:02:46,970
All the papers.
He does interviews on radio,
TV, the whole works.
30
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,272
- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
- A snowball
of publicity, right?
31
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:52,245
'Cause he's a local kid gonna
swim the English Channel...
32
00:02:52,277 --> 00:02:53,843
backstroke.
33
00:02:53,876 --> 00:02:56,627
Now that's a new twist.
[ Sighs ]
34
00:02:56,658 --> 00:02:59,921
So, is it my fault the guy
swims headfirst into a rock
the size of a truck...
35
00:02:59,952 --> 00:03:02,383
a lousy 20 yards short
of the Gallic shoreline?
36
00:03:02,414 --> 00:03:06,571
And he's wearing
blue underwear.
37
00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:08,330
Stuff will kill ya.
38
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:13,095
Ah, gee, Joe, that's--
must have been terrible.
He okay?
39
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,814
Yeah, he's okay. Yeah.
40
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,759
He's as dumb
as your socks now,
but he'll be all right.
41
00:03:18,789 --> 00:03:21,890
Gee. Well, I can understand
how come you might be
a little blue.
42
00:03:21,922 --> 00:03:23,618
Don't say blue, please?
43
00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:25,824
And you don't
understand yet,
44
00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:28,831
'cause I haven't done
anything but play
the overture here.
45
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:31,709
The clarinets
are still cold.
46
00:03:33,053 --> 00:03:36,284
Couple of weeks back,
I go to my office.
47
00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:38,777
What we're try
to pull together here,
Mr. Willoughby--
48
00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:41,303
Is a contest.
A beauty contest.
49
00:03:41,334 --> 00:03:45,045
Hmm. Coffee,
Miss Schroedinger.
50
00:03:45,076 --> 00:03:47,059
Fast like a bunny.
51
00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:49,331
I love contests.
Just love 'em.
52
00:03:51,025 --> 00:03:53,422
But no animals, okay?
53
00:03:53,455 --> 00:03:54,797
I don't work
with animals.
54
00:03:54,829 --> 00:03:56,782
This is strictly people.
55
00:03:56,815 --> 00:03:59,309
We want to call it
the "Miss Stardust Contest."
56
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:02,314
I got you.
You play up the whole
galaxy angle, right?
57
00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:05,225
That's big. I like it.
58
00:04:05,256 --> 00:04:06,985
It's got nerve.
59
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,863
Well, I'm your man.
60
00:04:09,895 --> 00:04:11,174
Now, who had the cream?
61
00:04:11,206 --> 00:04:14,659
Just put it down, honey.
The boys will tie their
own bibs, hey, guys?
62
00:04:14,691 --> 00:04:18,818
It's real cream, you know.
Or maybe it's half and half
and half. I forget.
63
00:04:18,847 --> 00:04:22,142
[ Coughs ]
You know,
it's really stuffy in here.
64
00:04:22,175 --> 00:04:25,277
Not exactly the theory
of relativity, but
she's a good kid.
65
00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:27,163
Clean. Very clean.
66
00:04:27,194 --> 00:04:30,297
The reason
we looked you up is
because we like the way...
67
00:04:30,328 --> 00:04:33,846
you managed Mr. Simkins
in the last couple of weeks.
68
00:04:33,879 --> 00:04:37,494
Yeah. Too bad he had
to make like the Titanic
and suck surf, huh?
69
00:04:37,525 --> 00:04:41,171
The point was,
you had a fresh angle.
70
00:04:41,203 --> 00:04:44,368
- Imagination.
- Journalistic
joie de vivre.
71
00:04:44,401 --> 00:04:45,679
What?
72
00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:49,006
Hey, you guys plannin'
to pay up front, right?
73
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:51,020
Substantially.
74
00:04:51,979 --> 00:04:53,325
It's a deal.
75
00:04:54,857 --> 00:04:56,841
[ Chuckles ]
Wow.
76
00:04:56,873 --> 00:04:59,015
- So you had
it made, right?
- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
77
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,830
Yeah, things looked
good. Real good.
78
00:05:01,862 --> 00:05:03,782
Jumbo coin.
79
00:05:03,812 --> 00:05:07,073
And then the day
of the pageant... trouble.
80
00:05:08,289 --> 00:05:10,305
Big trouble.
81
00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:14,142
- The cabbage showed up.
- [ Thunderclap ]
82
00:05:14,174 --> 00:05:17,756
...to the show.
Places! Places!
Two minutes.
83
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:22,394
[ Joe Narrating ]
You know, Mikey, it hadn't
rained on that date...
84
00:05:22,425 --> 00:05:24,697
since 1867 in this town.
85
00:05:24,727 --> 00:05:27,254
But on the day
of my contest, it pours.
86
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,758
I didn't like it.
Bad omen.
87
00:05:28,790 --> 00:05:30,772
But, hey,
I had fun with it.
88
00:05:30,803 --> 00:05:34,929
Well, what have we here?
Kukla, Fran and 0llie
together again, huh?
89
00:05:34,962 --> 00:05:38,832
- [ Man ] Let's go, ladies.
- Just tuggin' on your toes.
Just tuggin' on your toes.
90
00:05:38,862 --> 00:05:41,103
You guys must be
the judges, huh?
Joe Willoughby here.
91
00:05:41,135 --> 00:05:45,419
Ow. [ Chuckles ]
Well, is the hour nearly
at hand or what?
92
00:05:45,452 --> 00:05:46,924
Pulchritude awaits us.
93
00:05:46,954 --> 00:05:51,814
The perfect interstellar babe
is knocking on heaven's door.
94
00:05:51,847 --> 00:05:55,398
[ Man ] Let's go, girls.
Come on, come on.
Let's go. Places. Places.
95
00:05:55,428 --> 00:05:58,244
Let's go. Hurry up.
Come on.
96
00:05:58,277 --> 00:06:00,099
- Places.
- [ Thunderclap ]
97
00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:02,752
Oh, that's some
hot-looking storm there.
98
00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:05,024
[ Rumbling, Creaking ]
99
00:06:15,321 --> 00:06:17,113
[ Joe Narrating ]
Mikey, all
I can tell you is...
100
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:19,447
this thing was definitely
not from New York.
101
00:06:19,478 --> 00:06:21,014
At least not
midtown Manhattan.
102
00:06:21,046 --> 00:06:25,779
It was like a cross
between Crazy Eddie
and a produce department.
103
00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:28,370
But there it was,
big as life.
And it spoke.
104
00:06:28,401 --> 00:06:29,712
You're in charge?
105
00:06:29,744 --> 00:06:32,685
[ Joe Narrating ]
It was the Green
Grocer's fantasy.
106
00:06:32,718 --> 00:06:34,061
And it was
staring me down.
107
00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:37,644
Very well.
Since no one present
seems capable of speech,
108
00:06:37,675 --> 00:06:39,531
I shall state our case
and depart.
109
00:06:39,561 --> 00:06:42,313
- Your case?
- Ah, verbal skills.
Excellent.
110
00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:45,990
Hear me well.
This contest is
declared void.
111
00:06:46,022 --> 00:06:49,827
You have most inappropriately
named this event the
Miss Stardust Contest.
112
00:06:49,860 --> 00:06:51,971
Your choice is
more than unwise.
113
00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:56,703
It is obnoxious,
naive and insulting
to a serious degree.
114
00:06:56,735 --> 00:06:58,462
Is this understood?
115
00:06:58,495 --> 00:07:00,543
Hey, go find yourself
some corned beef, okay?
116
00:07:00,573 --> 00:07:02,652
You are warned!
117
00:07:02,684 --> 00:07:05,211
Who is this guy?
What do you want?
118
00:07:05,242 --> 00:07:08,568
One of two things-- a change
in the contest title,
119
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,191
because there's
already been a contest
with the same name...
120
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,141
or representation.
121
00:07:13,174 --> 00:07:16,692
- Are you saying you got
a copyright on the name?
- We need no copyright!
122
00:07:16,724 --> 00:07:20,530
We have the necessary
potency to apply coercion
to your world!
123
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:21,840
And do not strain
our patience.
124
00:07:21,871 --> 00:07:24,782
[ Joe Narrating ]
Somewhere in the back alleys
and secret passages...
125
00:07:24,815 --> 00:07:27,246
of my P.R. man's
mind, Mikey,
126
00:07:27,277 --> 00:07:31,338
it came forward, rushing
toward my forehead--
an idea.
127
00:07:31,371 --> 00:07:34,056
An idea that was almost--
128
00:07:34,089 --> 00:07:36,104
Perfect.
129
00:07:36,135 --> 00:07:41,124
Tell you what, Cab-man,
you got yourself a deal.
130
00:07:41,893 --> 00:07:44,099
Now wait a minute.
131
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,082
This requires
a little discussion.
132
00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:48,224
Make your decision
or perish forever.
133
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:50,270
Can I get anybody
some coffee?
134
00:07:50,302 --> 00:07:53,436
- Identify yourself!
- Oh, I'm Joey's assistant.
135
00:07:53,468 --> 00:07:57,243
I started out as a temp
after earning a B.A.
in liberal arts at Utah U.
136
00:07:57,274 --> 00:07:59,897
I'm currently earning a
competitive wage but eventually
I'd like to get into--
137
00:07:59,928 --> 00:08:01,336
Desist!
138
00:08:01,368 --> 00:08:03,799
Joey's assistant
has given me an idea.
139
00:08:03,831 --> 00:08:06,581
To insure your honesty
in this matter,
I will detain her.
140
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,765
Wait a minute.
141
00:08:07,796 --> 00:08:11,379
No way a brussels sprout
bursts in and kidnaps
my secretary.
142
00:08:11,409 --> 00:08:13,681
Joey, is he serious?
143
00:08:13,712 --> 00:08:15,472
Of course not.
[ Chuckles ]
144
00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,107
Well, you live and learn.
145
00:08:24,139 --> 00:08:25,897
Wh-What have you
done with her?
146
00:08:25,928 --> 00:08:27,847
She is in dimension 49,
147
00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,695
locked within a compartment
of the space-time continuum...
148
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:32,774
until I choose
to release her.
149
00:08:32,805 --> 00:08:36,802
Dimension 49, huh?
What, she's not
good enough for 50?
150
00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,680
You flirt with vaporization.
151
00:08:39,712 --> 00:08:42,144
I will transport
my entries here with me.
152
00:08:42,175 --> 00:08:44,157
I will inform the member
units of the alliance...
153
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:46,876
and all with be here
within the hour.
154
00:08:46,908 --> 00:08:49,882
- Entries?
- [ Chuckles ]
Several thousand.
155
00:08:49,914 --> 00:08:52,569
- You gotta be kiddin'.
- I note reluctance.
156
00:08:52,601 --> 00:08:57,559
In that case, I will propose
a compromise simple enough
for even your comprehension.
157
00:08:57,589 --> 00:09:00,723
Okay, fine.
What's the compromise?
158
00:09:00,756 --> 00:09:05,170
Three interplanetary contestants
from your own solar system.
159
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,407
Fairness beyond this,
you cannot expect to receive.
160
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,135
Yeah.
161
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:12,047
We'll call her
"Miss Outer Space."
162
00:09:12,077 --> 00:09:16,490
No! "The Girl With the
Most Bodacious Antennas."
163
00:09:16,522 --> 00:09:17,865
What do you say?
164
00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:19,752
See you at the contest.
165
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,358
[ Woman Gasps ]
166
00:09:31,873 --> 00:09:37,853
So, basically we mess up,
we all get zapped
into oblivion by a salad bar.
167
00:09:37,885 --> 00:09:40,124
- Great!
- That thing isn't
playing, Willoughby!
168
00:09:40,155 --> 00:09:42,778
What do you think happened
to your secretary?
Three weeks in Athens?
169
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:44,443
What are you gonna do, Joe?
170
00:09:44,474 --> 00:09:47,320
If she's in dimension 49,
I have no choice.
171
00:09:47,351 --> 00:09:49,334
I have to dock her
for the time's she gone.
172
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:51,957
But what about what
the Cabbage Man said?
173
00:09:53,652 --> 00:09:58,066
He said the fate of mankind
hangs in the balance, right?
174
00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:00,688
Well, that includes
me, right?
175
00:10:02,159 --> 00:10:03,693
[ Spits ]
176
00:10:03,726 --> 00:10:06,764
Fellas, my fee
just went up.
177
00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:13,735
I know it may sound
like P.R. hype, Mikey,
178
00:10:13,767 --> 00:10:16,614
- but I was dreamin'
the big dream.
- [ Thunder Rumbling ]
179
00:10:16,645 --> 00:10:19,108
The one that's up in neon
with backup singers...
180
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:21,027
that spells, "Look out!"
181
00:10:21,058 --> 00:10:22,849
How do you figure it, Joe?
182
00:10:22,881 --> 00:10:26,079
So you say this
space creep has put
your secretary on ice...
183
00:10:26,112 --> 00:10:29,566
and he's gonna french fry
the world if you blow it?
184
00:10:29,597 --> 00:10:33,754
[ Chuckles ]
Joey, that sounds
like a nightmare.
185
00:10:33,786 --> 00:10:37,274
Maybe to a bartender it does,
but not to a P.R. man.
186
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:41,336
Publicity, pal. I was
getting the big one.
187
00:10:44,082 --> 00:10:46,898
Set up another round
and I just might tell you
the rest of the story.
188
00:10:49,008 --> 00:10:50,930
So, as long
as you're asking.
189
00:10:53,168 --> 00:10:55,887
This was some contest.
190
00:10:55,917 --> 00:10:57,677
- ?? [ Accordion ]
- Wow.
191
00:11:13,986 --> 00:11:16,641
[ No Audible Dialogue ]
192
00:11:20,416 --> 00:11:22,749
[ Whirring ]
193
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:25,563
[ Joe Narrating ] But I'm
tellin' you, Mikey, you'd
have been real proud of me.
194
00:11:25,596 --> 00:11:31,192
Even though I was terrified,
I was poised-- a regular
cologne dispenser.
195
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,143
Hey, slaw boy,
you made it.
196
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:39,059
By the by, what did
you do to my secretary?
197
00:11:39,091 --> 00:11:42,003
You melt her down, turn her
into an asteroid or what?
198
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:46,351
My wards are losing patience
with you "Eath" people.
199
00:11:47,339 --> 00:11:48,462
Heed my words, "Eathian"!
200
00:11:48,493 --> 00:11:54,793
Or the repercussions
begin with a woman known
as "Joey's Assistant."
201
00:11:54,825 --> 00:11:58,888
[ Laughing ]
202
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:05,635
- ?? [ Ends ]
- [ Applauding ]
203
00:12:07,682 --> 00:12:12,766
Well, now, let's hear it
for Miss Colorado.
[ Chuckles ]
204
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,324
Her hobbies
are nuclear physics
and deep sea fishing...
205
00:12:15,356 --> 00:12:19,738
and who plans someday
to teach auto repairs
to old people.
206
00:12:19,770 --> 00:12:22,233
- [ Rim Shot ]
- And now, ladies
and gentlemen,
207
00:12:22,265 --> 00:12:24,632
we've a few late entries,
208
00:12:24,664 --> 00:12:26,966
and they've traveled
a heck of a distance
to be here.
209
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:32,692
And we're thrilled that
we don't have to pay
the airfare for Miss Mars!
210
00:12:32,723 --> 00:12:34,610
?? [ Belly Dancing ]
211
00:12:36,688 --> 00:12:38,126
Oh.
212
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,069
?? [ Continues ]
213
00:12:41,102 --> 00:12:42,957
- [ Man ]
What's that?
- [ Chattering ]
214
00:12:42,987 --> 00:12:44,875
- [ Chattering Continues ]
- Ahh!
215
00:12:44,908 --> 00:12:47,659
[ Man #2 ]
Get the hook!
216
00:12:47,691 --> 00:12:50,056
[ People Hissing ]
217
00:12:52,998 --> 00:12:55,525
[ Woman ]
Go back to Mars!
218
00:12:59,555 --> 00:13:02,882
- [ Man, Indistinct ]
- Uh-uh. Ahh!
219
00:13:09,339 --> 00:13:13,882
- ?? [ Ends ]
- And, uh, now, ladies
and gentlemen, uh,
220
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:17,401
let's have a big hand
for Miss Mars!
221
00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:18,680
[ Smattering Of Applause ]
222
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:23,572
And now, Miss, uh, Venus,
would like to play
a little ditty for us.
223
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:27,376
It's something called
"I Wanna Hold Your Clam."
224
00:13:27,408 --> 00:13:29,487
[ People Groaning ]
225
00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,173
- ?? [ Synthesized ]
- [ Woman Laughs ]
226
00:13:32,205 --> 00:13:34,956
- [ Chuckles ]
- [ Chattering ]
227
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:37,994
?? [ Continues ]
228
00:13:52,256 --> 00:13:54,178
[ Shrieking ]
229
00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,757
[ Shrieking Continues ]
230
00:14:06,393 --> 00:14:08,569
?? [ Continues ]
231
00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:16,339
[ Woman ]
Bravo!
232
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:23,727
This is highly
unsatisfactory.
233
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:26,061
You will alleviate
the situation...
234
00:14:26,093 --> 00:14:28,587
or there will be increasing
trouble for you.
235
00:14:28,618 --> 00:14:30,763
Hey, how'd you like
to French-kiss a grater?
236
00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:32,265
I can't tell
the audience what to do.
237
00:14:32,297 --> 00:14:37,671
If Miss Mars is not chosen
winner, there will be severe
retaliation by her elders.
238
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:40,804
Boy, you are one humorless
vegetable, you know that?
239
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:42,755
Why don't you give us
a break, huh?
240
00:14:42,787 --> 00:14:46,209
You created your own problem
when you named the contest
as you did.
241
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,088
- Face the music, "Eath-man."
- Earth.
242
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,542
- And I didn't
name the contest!
- Beside the actual point.
243
00:14:52,572 --> 00:14:55,803
[ Man ]
Let's have a big hand
for, uh, Miss Venus.
244
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,521
- [ Applauding ]
- Ladies and gents,
what can I say?
245
00:14:58,553 --> 00:15:00,441
Here's a future
mother of six,
246
00:15:00,472 --> 00:15:02,007
Miss Jupiter!
247
00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:05,142
- ?? [ Fanfare ]
- [ Applauding ]
248
00:15:05,174 --> 00:15:10,164
?? [ Singing Opera ]
249
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:16,975
?? [ Singing Continues ]
250
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,000
?? [ Singing Continues ]
251
00:15:31,205 --> 00:15:32,579
Finish this contest quickly!
252
00:15:32,611 --> 00:15:37,569
My wards are becoming
violently ill at the sight
of "Eath-people" en masse.
253
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:39,426
What're you talkin'
about, ill?
254
00:15:39,457 --> 00:15:43,806
Quite simply,
they find your appearance
surpassingly repugnant.
255
00:15:43,837 --> 00:15:47,100
[ Whirring, Tone ]
256
00:15:47,131 --> 00:15:48,571
I have decided.
257
00:15:48,604 --> 00:15:52,024
Miss Jupiter must be
awarded first prize,
258
00:15:52,055 --> 00:15:55,608
- in addition to Miss Venus
and Miss Mars.
- No way!
259
00:15:55,639 --> 00:15:59,763
They can't all win!
It's un-American!
It stinks!
260
00:15:59,795 --> 00:16:02,546
We do not like you,
"Eath-man."
261
00:16:02,578 --> 00:16:05,584
Earth. Earth.
It's called Earth.
262
00:16:05,617 --> 00:16:08,081
Not where I come from.
263
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:12,204
Mmm! We find you
obnoxious to the mind
and unwholesome to the eyes.
264
00:16:12,237 --> 00:16:15,947
My wards and I will
rejoice when they have
all won first prize...
265
00:16:15,978 --> 00:16:19,368
and we can leave
your loathsome,
"hideouth" presence.
266
00:16:19,399 --> 00:16:22,598
"Hideouth"?
"Hideouth"?
267
00:16:22,629 --> 00:16:25,635
You think I'm "hideouth"?
268
00:16:27,457 --> 00:16:28,739
"Hideouth"?
269
00:16:30,273 --> 00:16:33,119
You think I'm "hideouth"?
270
00:16:34,142 --> 00:16:35,966
You are all "hideouth"!
271
00:16:35,999 --> 00:16:39,900
With the possible exception
of the "Eath-woman" you call
Joey's Assistant.
272
00:16:39,931 --> 00:16:42,745
She has a certain...
savoir faire.
273
00:16:42,777 --> 00:16:44,794
?? [ Opera Singing
Continues ]
274
00:16:52,467 --> 00:16:54,356
?? [ Continues ]
275
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:10,889
[ Laughing ]
276
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,278
- ?? [ Continues ]
- [ Laughing Continues ]
277
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:21,570
[ Laughing Continues ]
278
00:17:21,602 --> 00:17:25,312
?? [ Continues ]
279
00:17:25,342 --> 00:17:27,232
?? [ Continues ]
280
00:17:27,262 --> 00:17:30,204
- [ Laughing ]
- [ Applauding ]
281
00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:34,521
[ Joe Narrating ]
Mikey, it's not every day
a man can tell his friends...
282
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,345
he's hatched a plan
to save mother "Eath,"
283
00:17:36,377 --> 00:17:37,977
but that's exactly
what I did.
284
00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:41,334
I was gonna give that green
geek and his orbit babes
and added prize--
285
00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:45,524
a hunk of trouble more
"hideouth" than they
could ever imagine.
286
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:49,201
Ladies and gentlemen,
before we announce
our winner,
287
00:17:49,233 --> 00:17:54,062
I would like to add a very
special award to the list
of once-in-a-lifetime prizes.
288
00:17:54,094 --> 00:17:55,374
You're gonna love this.
289
00:17:55,406 --> 00:17:59,756
We already announced
the loving cup, the car,
the Hollywood contract,
290
00:17:59,786 --> 00:18:04,871
one free year's servicing
and chassis work at Aldo's
House of Beauty.
291
00:18:04,904 --> 00:18:08,485
But now-- now for
a really special prize.
292
00:18:08,517 --> 00:18:14,274
One month vacation
on the Mediterranean
with none other than guess who?
293
00:18:14,306 --> 00:18:18,942
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Universe!
294
00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,509
- ?? [ Drum Roll ]
- [ Gasps ]
295
00:18:20,541 --> 00:18:22,621
[ Women Screaming,
Cheering ]
296
00:18:24,123 --> 00:18:26,873
- [ Cheering ]
- [ Applauding ]
297
00:18:26,905 --> 00:18:29,400
[ Screams ]
298
00:18:33,652 --> 00:18:37,780
- No! No! No!
This is "hideouth"!
- [ Women Screaming ]
299
00:18:40,209 --> 00:18:44,175
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
300
00:18:49,292 --> 00:18:51,532
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
301
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,497
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
302
00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:57,608
[ Clears Throat ]
303
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,744
You! You attempt trickery!
304
00:19:02,212 --> 00:19:05,698
Hey, it's our contest.
[ Laughs ]
305
00:19:05,731 --> 00:19:08,129
We'll give you first prize,
306
00:19:08,162 --> 00:19:11,999
but we reserve the right
to decide what first prize is.
307
00:19:12,030 --> 00:19:14,428
Beside the actual point!
308
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:19,738
How dare you
choose that creature
to be Mr. Universe!
309
00:19:19,769 --> 00:19:22,968
Are you unaware the universe
contains more galaxies...
310
00:19:23,001 --> 00:19:25,878
than there are stars
in your own galaxy?
311
00:19:25,908 --> 00:19:29,811
- Gimme a break.
- Ahh! I will give
you a cataclysm!
312
00:19:29,841 --> 00:19:32,114
This deceit calls
for drastic action.
313
00:19:32,146 --> 00:19:34,961
I must call immediately
on the Alliance of Galaxies.
314
00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:36,751
Whooooo!
315
00:19:36,782 --> 00:19:39,853
Ah! There will be a contest
held in this building...
316
00:19:39,886 --> 00:19:45,994
to decide who is really
entitled to the name
"Mr. Universe."
317
00:19:46,024 --> 00:19:51,719
Just exactly what
are you talking about
in round numbers, huh?
318
00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:56,964
There are
approximately 7,595,000
base representatives,
319
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,618
which should give even
a mind such as yours...
320
00:19:59,649 --> 00:20:02,529
some idea of
the insignificance
of your planet...
321
00:20:02,561 --> 00:20:05,023
as it rolls
through the void.
322
00:20:07,229 --> 00:20:09,307
So, what did you
finally do?
323
00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,099
It wasn't easy,
I'll tell you that much.
324
00:20:11,130 --> 00:20:12,985
It wasn't easy at all.
325
00:20:13,018 --> 00:20:15,063
In fact,
326
00:20:15,095 --> 00:20:18,805
to be honest with you,
it isn't even what I did.
327
00:20:18,836 --> 00:20:22,004
No. Mankind was
saved by love.
328
00:20:22,036 --> 00:20:25,938
It seems that old cabbage head
had a real thing for
Miss Schroedinger.
329
00:20:25,969 --> 00:20:29,551
She got him off our backs
when he asked her
to get hitched.
330
00:20:29,582 --> 00:20:33,516
Quite a wedding.
Best man had suction cups.
331
00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:35,438
They're on their
honeymoon now.
332
00:20:35,469 --> 00:20:38,634
Joe, I gotta be
honest with you.
333
00:20:38,665 --> 00:20:43,909
This story is the most
unbelievable pile...
334
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:47,427
of a number between one
and three I ever heard.
335
00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,506
Come on,
it never happened.
336
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,322
It never even came
close to happening.
337
00:20:52,353 --> 00:20:56,319
You're totally insane,
and you owe me
for those drinks.
338
00:20:56,352 --> 00:20:57,949
So you don't
believe me, huh?
339
00:20:57,981 --> 00:21:01,819
Not in a million years.
What, do I look stupid
to you?
340
00:21:03,865 --> 00:21:06,232
Here, that's
for the drinks.
341
00:21:06,264 --> 00:21:08,056
Oh, and by the way,
342
00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:13,333
here's a little something
for bein' nice, for listenin'
to an insane man.
343
00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:16,242
[ Chuckles ]
344
00:21:17,169 --> 00:21:18,929
See you around, pal.
345
00:21:18,959 --> 00:21:20,559
So long, Joe.
346
00:21:20,591 --> 00:21:22,737
?? [ Whistling ]
347
00:21:24,397 --> 00:21:28,138
- [ Door Closes ]
- Hi, Joey! I sure hope
everything's okay back home.
348
00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:30,857
Personally, I never had
such a fun honeymoon
in my whole life.
349
00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:34,664
All we do is play
up here on the third moon
of Ungareena Mycappia.
350
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:37,477
Of course, all
the food is plaid...
351
00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:39,653
and I miss the fresh air
of "Eath" and everything,
352
00:21:39,685 --> 00:21:41,507
but Cabby's been
so nice to me.
353
00:21:41,538 --> 00:21:43,650
And I always
was a vegetarian!
354
00:21:43,683 --> 00:21:46,017
Take it easy.
I gotta go.
355
00:21:46,049 --> 00:21:48,928
- Well, have fun.
- Greetings.
356
00:21:48,958 --> 00:21:52,764
I trust events transpire
pleasantly down on "Eath,"
Willoughby.
357
00:21:52,797 --> 00:21:55,003
Don't take any
Varcon Fundiggies.
358
00:21:55,035 --> 00:21:57,882
[ Laughing ]
359
00:21:58,305 --> 00:22:04,450
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