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- THE LAWN MOWER REALLY HELPS.
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* I GO TO WORK
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* ALTHOUGH I HATE MY JOB
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* BUT HATING YOUR JOB
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* IS BETTER THAN NO JOB AT ALL *
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* I WANT AN iPOD
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* 'CAUSE I THINK THEY'RE COOL
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* BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT
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* I CAN'T AFFORD THINGS
THAT ARE COOL *
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* I WANNA WORK TOWARD
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* A BETTER ME
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* BUT CHANGE
TAKES TOO MUCH ENERGY *
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* SO WHY TRY?
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* IT'S TOO HARD TO TRY
15
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* SO WHY TRY?
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* WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
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* I GOT TWO FRIENDS
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* AND THEY'RE KINDA BORING
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* BUT I'M KINDA BORING
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* I GUESS THAT'S WHY
I HAVE BORING FRIENDS *
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* I WANNA BE FUNNY
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* LIKE THOSE GUYS ON TV
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* WHEN I PULL DOWN MY PANTS *
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* MY MOM DOESN'T LAUGH
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* AT MY JOKES
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* I WANNA WORK TOWARD
A BETTER ME *
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00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:38,766
* BUT CHANGE
TAKES TOO MUCH ENERGY *
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* SO WHY TRY?
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* IT'S TOO HARD TO TRY
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* WHY TRY?
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* WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
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* GIRLS ARE REAL CUTE
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* BUT I CAN'T TALK TO GIRLS
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* I GET REALLY SCARED
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* THE PRIEST EVEN TOLD ME *
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* I'M GAY
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- WELL... THIS IS AWKWARD.
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- NOT AN EVERY DAY OCCURRENCE.
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THAT'S FOR SURE.
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- I SUPPOSE INTRODUCTIONS
ARE IN ORDER.
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GREGORY.
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- GARY.
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Male narrator: AND SO BEGAN
THE WARM STORY
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OF HOW TWO SERIAL KILLERS
BECAME BUDDIES.
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SERIAL BUDDIES.
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GREGORY VON GEARHART
WAS A RELIGIOUS MAN.
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HE EVEN CALLED
THE CHURCH HOME...
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BECAUSE IT WAS.
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00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,822
HE WAS A LIVE-IN MAID.
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IT WAS SPRING BREAK
51
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AND GREGORY COULDN'T WAIT
TO GET HIS WORK DONE.
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FATHER CHRISTOPHER
WAS ALSO EXCITED...
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narrator: BECAUSE IT MEANT
A WHOLE WEEK WITHOUT GREGORY.
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- GOOD MORNING, FATHER.
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MAY I PRESENT YOU WITH
MY FAREWELL EASTER BASKET?
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- WOW, SUPER.
57
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JUST PUT IT
WITH THE OTHERS YOU MADE.
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Narrator: MEANWHILE,
GARY "BIG MAC" MACARELLI
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WAS ALSO GOING TO WORK.
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HE WAS PUNCTUAL, STYLISH,
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AND AS ONE OF THE COUNTRY'S
ELITE TROPHY MAKERS,
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HE WAS PROUD TO WEAR THE COLORS.
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GARY WAS ALSO
EAGER TO FINISH WORK...
64
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:05,913
AND HEAD OUT ON A SPRING BREAK
OF HIS OWN.
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- HEY, CHIEF.
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- MARIA.
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00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,793
- NO, NO.
IT'S STILL A COLLEGE RING.
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YEP.
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00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:23,497
OKAY.
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- RING, RING.
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I'LL GET IT.
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HELLO? GREGORY SPEAKING.
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OH, HI, JESUS, HOW ARE YOU?
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YOU LIKE MY EASTER BASKETS?
75
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,074
YOU WANT ME TO MAKE MORE?
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00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,910
I'LL BE SURE TO LET THEM KNOW.
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OH, AND GOOD LUCK
WITH THE ASCENSION.
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ALL RIGHT, BYE-BYE NOW.
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00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:49,623
- CHIEF, I BLEW THE MOTHBALLS
OFF THE OLD SPRING BREAK JUMPER.
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HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?
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00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:03,504
- FATHER, I KNOW YOU
AND THE OTHER PARISHIONERS
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00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:04,872
DESPERATELY WANT ME TO STAY,
83
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,049
BUT I'M AFRAID
I'M UNDER STRICT ORDERS
84
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,075
TO BEGIN MY PILGRIMAGE.
85
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- THE CHURCH DOESN'T
SEND PEOPLE ON PILGRIMAGES.
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IS THAT MY STOLE?
87
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- JUST IN TIME.
88
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GARY, THIS IS MY NEPHEW.
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00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:24,892
HE WANTS TO BREAK INTO
THE TROPHY BUSINESS.
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00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,060
- MY DAD FINALLY SIGNED
MY PERMISSION SLIP.
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00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:38,706
- FATHER, YOU KNOW
I FULLY RESPECT THE CHURCH.
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WHY, AS AN ALTAR BOY,
I WAS PRACTICALLY RAISED
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00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:47,881
BY THE WANDERING,
LOVING HANDS OF PRIESTS.
94
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,950
BUT I'M AFRAID...
95
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I DON'T WORK FOR THE CHURCH.
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I WORK FOR GOD.
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- I'M HOPING
YOU'LL BE MY MENTOR.
98
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,497
GRAMPS SAYS
YOU'RE THE BEST EVER.
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00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:06,567
KRAVELLO WAS THE BEST EVER.
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- ONE AND TWO,
AND ONE AND TWO, AND TURN.
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Narrator: AND THAT'S
WHEN FATE STEPPED IN
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IN THE FORM OF A NEWS REPORT.
103
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- I'M EMILY FRANCES.
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CONTROVERSY IS BREWING
105
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AT LACONIA'S ANNUAL
SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN
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FOR UNDERPRIVILEGED YOUTH.
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IN ATTENDANCE
AT NEXT WEEK'S EVENT
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WILL BE INFAMOUS
MOTORCYCLE OUTLAW
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RALPH "BIG CHICKEN" MORELLI.
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RECENTLY PAROLED,
BIG CHICKEN LED
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00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,895
THE CHELSEA WHITE DEVILS
IN THEIR HEYDAY
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WHEN THE GANG, OR "CLUB,"
RIVALED THE HELL'S ANGELS.
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THE WHITE DEVILS ARE EXPECTED
TO HAVE GATHERED THE MOST TOYS,
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00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:46,940
WITH BIG CHICKEN RECEIVING
THE EVENT'S TOP TROPHY.
115
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,825
Narrator: CLEARLY, THE BUDDIES
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00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,193
HAD DIFFERENT REASONS
FOR KILLING.
117
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,462
ONE THING WAS FOR SURE:
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00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:12,099
THEY BOTH WERE DETERMINED
TO GET BIG CHICKEN.
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SPRING BREAK
HAD OFFICIALLY BEGUN.
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ALONG THE WAY,
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GREGORY CAME UPON
A HAUNTED HOUSE OF ALL THINGS.
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00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,525
TO GREGORY, HAUNTED HOUSES
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WERE JUST
THE DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND,
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00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:44,632
AND SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO PAY.
125
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:48,068
MEANWHILE,
GARY CAME UPON A VEHICLE
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00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,904
OWNED BY A MULTI-SPORT ATHLETE.
127
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:26,807
Narrator: AND THIS
BRINGS US BACK TO THE WOODS,
128
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,176
WHERE OUR NEWLY ACQUAINTED
SERIAL BUDDIES
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00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,845
WERE BURYING
THEIR RESPECTIVE KILLS.
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00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:34,181
Both: I WAS JUST...
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00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,917
YOU GO FIRST.
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00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:41,054
- JUST A LITTLE ME TIME
AFTER THE LENTEN MADNESS.
133
00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:43,957
- I'M ON SPRING BREAK
FROM WORK TOO.
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00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,727
HEADED UP TO LACONIA...
FOR TOY RUN.
135
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,229
- WELL, THIS JUST
GETS CRAZIER AND CRAZIER.
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00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,899
I'M HEADED TO THE SPRINGLE BELL
TOY RUN AS WELL.
137
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:56,136
- WELL, I GUESS
I'LL JUST DIG MY HOLE THEN.
138
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,038
- OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
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00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,975
THERE'S... THERE'S
PLENTY OF ROOM FOR TWO.
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00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:12,552
- SIR, YOU FORGOT YOUR WALLET.
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00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,660
I'M SORRY I FOLLOWED YOU.
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00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,194
- YOU'RE GONNA PAY
FOR THIS, ROOKIE!
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00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:24,598
- I WON'T SAY ANYTHING! I SWEAR!
144
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,636
- BACK OFF, CIVILIAN.
THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU.
145
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,137
- MY GOODNESS, YOU'RE NOT GOING
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00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,280
TO KILL THE POOR LAD, ARE YOU?
147
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:35,776
- BACK OFF I SAID!
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00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,145
SO YOU WANT ME
TO BE YOUR MENTOR?
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00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,780
YOU WANNA BE MY INTERN?
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00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,015
YOU DO EVERYTHING I SAY
FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD.
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00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,384
PICK UP THAT SHOVEL.
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00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:48,622
NOW MARCH!
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00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,758
HE WON'T SAY A WORD.
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00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,893
THAT IS, IF HE WANTS ME
TO BE HIS MENTOR.
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00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,128
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
- YOU WOULDN'T.
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00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,797
THE INTERN-MENTOR RELATIONSHIP
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00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:59,332
IS A SACRED BOND TO WE
OLD SCHOOL TROPHY MAKERS,
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00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:03,603
FORGED CENTURIES
BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN BORN.
159
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:22,222
- OH.
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00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,257
CASTOREUM.
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00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,127
IT KEEPS ANIMALS
FROM DIGGING UP THE REMAINS.
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00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,428
WHOOP.
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00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,698
BEAVERS SECRETE IT
FROM THEIR CASTOR GLANDS
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00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,099
TO REPEL PREDATORS.
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00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,401
IT'S A WONDERFUL
FERTILIZER TOO, HOWEVER.
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00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:38,105
WHICH KEEPS
THE WHOLE PROCESS GREEN.
167
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,410
- ARE YOU ONE OF THEM SCIENTIFIC
GENIUSES OR SOMETHING?
168
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,713
- WELL, IF YOU CONSIDER
BEING A SUMMA CUM LAUDE
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00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:49,983
FROM HARVARD UNIVERSITY
A GENIUS, THEN PERHAPS I AM.
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00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:52,285
BUT A SCIENTIST? A DARWINIAN?
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00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,322
HEAVENS NO. I AM A MAN OF GOD.
172
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:56,890
- OH.
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00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:59,026
- NOW I'M SORRY,
BUT IN ALL THIS CONFUSION,
174
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,828
I DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME.
175
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,171
- OH...
- THAT'S 'CAUSE HE ONLY SPEAKS
176
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,463
WHEN SPOKEN TO.
177
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:06,099
- WELL, I JUST SPOKE TO HIM.
178
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,801
- I DON'T NEED THAT ON ME.
179
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,402
I DON'T NEED THAT ON ME!
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00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,738
QUIT IT!
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00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,339
THAT'S IT, I'M OUT OF HERE.
182
00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:13,941
I GOTTA GET
TO THE SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN
183
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,943
AND TAKE OUT BIG CHICKEN.
184
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,145
- WAIT, GARY, HOLD UP.
185
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,481
DID I JUST HEAR YOU SAY
"BIG CHICKEN"?
186
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,251
AS IN BIG CHICKEN, EVIL OUTLAW
JUST RELEASED FROM PRISON?
187
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,153
- AS IN BIG CHICKEN,
188
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,088
PREDICTED TO WIN
THE SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN.
189
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,390
- OH, GARY.
190
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,925
WE SHOULD WORK TOGETHER.
191
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,260
WE... WE DO THE SAME WORK.
192
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,494
WE HAVE THE SAME SPRING BREAK.
193
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,463
AND WE'RE BOTH OFF TO LACONIA
194
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,498
TO TAKE OUT BIG CHICKEN.
195
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,968
AND WE'VE BEEN GIVEN AN INTERN.
196
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,736
OH.
197
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:46,206
- ME SPEND MY SPRING BREAK
WITH A ROOKIE?
198
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,175
YEAH, RIGHT.
199
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:51,879
LISTEN, OUT OF RESPECT
TO MR. PRELL,
200
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:53,947
YOUR GRANDFATHER AND MY BOSS,
201
00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:56,784
I'M GIVING YOU A RIDE
TO THE TRAIN STATION...
202
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,318
AND YOU'RE GOING WITH HIM.
203
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,820
- OH, BUT WE COULD HELP.
204
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,488
- I DON'T NEED HELP.
205
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,491
I WORK ALONE.
206
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:18,772
- PERMISSION
TO SPEAK FREELY, SIR?
207
00:12:18,806 --> 00:12:22,142
BACK IN THE DAY, ALL
GRANDPA PRELL EVER TALKED ABOUT
208
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:25,312
WAS THE MADCAP ADVENTURES
OF GARY "MAC" MACARELLI
209
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,147
AND KENNY "FRY" KRAVELLO.
210
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,984
- DUMB NAMES THE PRESS GAVE
MY OLD PARTNER KRAVELLO AND ME.
211
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,561
GRAMPS USED TO GO ON AND ON
ABOUT ALL THE RECORDS
212
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,354
YOU GUYS SET FOR ASSEMBLY TIMES.
213
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,889
- NOT TO MENTION
ALL THE GROUPIES
214
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:37,424
AND PARTIES BACK THEN.
215
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,993
OOH.
216
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,895
WHAT'S YOUR POINT, ROOKIE?
217
00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,807
- I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE
TO LEARN THE TROPHY BUSINESS,
218
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,099
AND NOW THAT KRAVELLO'S GONE
219
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:50,437
AND GRANDPA PRELL'S MORE OR LESS
LOST IT, I JUST WANNA...
220
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:54,474
- MR. PRELL
IS AS RAZOR SHARP AS EVER.
221
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,012
- DON'T YOU EVER DISRESPECT HIM.
222
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,280
GOT IT?
223
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,281
- SIEG. all: HEIL.
224
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,916
- SKINHEADS.
225
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,284
- SIEG. all: HEIL.
226
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:07,220
- AS IF THE GOOD LORD
HAND-DELIVERED THEM.
227
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:10,190
MY DOCTOR'S BAG, STAT!
228
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:14,294
GARY, OUR FATHER
IN HEAVEN BECKONS ALREADY.
229
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,097
WE HAVE SKINHEADS UPON US.
230
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,068
RACIST EVILDOERS
WHO MUST BE ELIMINATED.
231
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,070
- YOU GO TO IT, BLONDIE.
232
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:26,506
BUT JUST REMEMBER, ACCORDING
TO THE CALCULATOR WATCH...
233
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,977
THIS SLED LEAVES IN FIVE.
234
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,079
GOT IT?
235
00:13:32,112 --> 00:13:33,246
- FINE.
236
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,215
Narrator:
UNBEKNOWNST TO GREGORY,
237
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:37,350
THESE SKINHEADS
WERE FAR MORE DANGEROUS
238
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,252
THAN ORDINARY SKINHEADS.
239
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:42,355
THEY WERE THE SKINHEADS
FOR BETTER TELEVISION.
240
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,591
- WE NEED MORE
WHITE PEOPLE SHOWS
241
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:48,261
LIKE FRIENDS, FULL HOUSE,
AND THE HILLS.
242
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,397
All: THE HILLS.
243
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,133
- TODAY, WE DECLARE SKIN-HAD,
244
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:58,238
BEGINNING WITH THIS LOCAL
JEWISH INTERNET FILM CRITIC.
245
00:13:58,271 --> 00:14:03,276
- INTERNET FILM CRITIC?
246
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:08,515
EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO SEE ME.
247
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,550
GENTLEMEN, GOOD DAY.
248
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:12,085
MY NAME IS GREGORY
249
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,954
AND I'M CURRENTLY
ON A PILGRIMAGE
250
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,456
GRANTING DOOMED SOULS,
SUCH AS YOURS,
251
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:20,560
SAFE PASSAGE TO HEAVEN
VIA LETHAL POISON,
252
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,596
WHICH I MIX WITH A TASTY,
REFRESHING BOXED FRUIT DRINK
253
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:27,100
TO CALCIFY YOUR NERVES.
254
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:30,203
- BOYS, I THINK WHAT
WE HAVE HERE IS AN F.P.
255
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,972
- AN F.P.?
256
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,606
WELL, I'M NOT FAMILIAR
WITH THAT TERM.
257
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,442
- "FREE PLAY."
258
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,610
THAT'S WHEN YOU GET TO BEAT
THE PISS OUT OF SOMEBODY
259
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,112
WITHOUT HAVING TO ANSWER FOR IT.
260
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:40,447
- OOH.
261
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,480
OH...
262
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:45,418
- NOT THE FACE!
JUST NOT THE FACE!
263
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,055
YOU CAN'T BUY
THIS BONE STRUCTURE.
264
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,422
- DID YOU KNOW THE ROTARY
265
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:52,993
DOES A SKINHEAD OF THE YEAR
AWARD NOW?
266
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:56,396
- PROBABLY JUST GIVE OUT
SOME CHEAP RIBBON OR SOMETHING.
267
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:59,366
- ACTUALLY, THE... THE WINNER
GETS A SILVER TROPHY
268
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,935
WITH A GIANT FIGURINE HITLER
ON TOP.
269
00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:05,105
NEXT YEAR, THEY'RE EXPANDING
TO INCLUDE SUPERLATIVES.
270
00:15:05,138 --> 00:15:09,076
YOU KNOW, BEST-DRESSED SKINHEAD,
MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED,
271
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,677
BIGGEST FLIRT.
272
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,084
NO TIME TO BURY THE BODIES.
GOT A TRAIN TO CATCH.
273
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,163
- GARY, YOUR STRENGTH.
274
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:06,633
IT WAS LIKE... SAMSON.
275
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:10,203
Narrator: SEEING GARY
ANNIHILATE THE SKINHEADS
276
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:12,772
BROUGHT A POSITIVE VIBE
TO THE BUDDIES.
277
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,508
IT ALSO MADE GREGORY
MISTAKENLY BELIEVE
278
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,445
THAT THE TWO WERE KILLING
FOR THE SAME REASON.
279
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,613
- GARY, IT WAS NO ACCIDENT
THAT WE MET,
280
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,649
AND IT WAS NO ACCIDENT
THAT YOU STOPPED THE CAR
281
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,384
BACK THERE OF ALL PLACES.
282
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:27,587
AND WERE IT NOT FOR
MY CLEVERLY PLAYING POSSUM,
283
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,156
WELL, THEN YOU WOULD NOT
HAVE BEEN ABLE
284
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,758
TO TAKE THEM BY SURPRISE.
285
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,560
DON'T YOU SEE
WHAT ALL THIS ADDS UP TO?
286
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,462
WE SHOULD JOIN FORCES.
287
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,297
- I WORK ALONE.
288
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,532
- HAVE YOU NOT LISTENED
TO ANYTHING THAT I'VE SAID?
289
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:44,304
DON'T YOU SEE IT'S GOD'S WILL
FOR US TO WORK TOGETHER?
290
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:48,341
- GONNA MISS YOUR TRAIN.
291
00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:01,688
- SO THAT'S HOW YOU'D LIKE
TO PLAY IT, IS IT?
292
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,726
GARY...
293
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,795
I COULD, OF COURSE,
USE MY STANDING IN THE CHURCH
294
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,364
TO BAN YOU FROM
RECEIVING HOLY COMMUNION.
295
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,166
- HUH?
- THAT'S RIGHT.
296
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:17,304
BANNED, ALONG WITH DIVORCEES
AND WOMEN WHO HAVE OPINIONS.
297
00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,139
- OOH.
298
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:24,277
- I COULD THEN APPEAL
TO ANOTHER FORM OF "AUTHORITAY"
299
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,713
AND TELL THEM...
300
00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,482
EVERYTHING.
301
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,619
AND I THINK YOU KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
302
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:37,124
- YOU'D WRITE AN OFFICIAL LETTER
OF COMPLAINT TO MR. TROPHY?
303
00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:40,827
- INDEED, I WOULD.
TO A MR. PRELL, WAS IT?
304
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,130
- YOU'D GO THAT FAR?
305
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,832
- I COULD GO THAT FAR,
BUT I WON'T.
306
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,568
CONSIDER THAT
AS YOU CAST ME OFF,
307
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:52,572
SOMEONE PROVEN
TO HELP YOU GET BIG CHICKEN.
308
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:55,542
MENTOR.
309
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,386
I MAY HAVE A LOT TO LEARN
ABOUT THE TROPHY BUSINESS,
310
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:02,415
BUT I KNOW I CAN HELP.
311
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:13,126
- THERE'S NO NEED, GRAHAM.
312
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,664
HE WORKS ALONE.
313
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:23,570
- WAIT!
314
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,279
GET IN.
315
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,747
WE AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.
316
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,883
Narrator: IT WAS SETTLED.
317
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,818
THE BUDDIES WOULD JOIN FORCES,
318
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,488
WITH GREGORY BELIEVING
THEY WERE KILLING FOR GOD
319
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,156
AND GARY THINKING
THEY WERE KILLING
320
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,924
POTENTIAL TROPHY WINNERS.
321
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,394
BUT IT DIDN'T MATTER... YET.
322
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,562
FOR NOW, THEY HAD
MORE PRESSING MATTERS.
323
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,364
WARDROBE CHANGE.
324
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,266
YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOVE
MY NEXT OUTFIT.
325
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,502
BY THE WAY, GARY,
LOVE THE JUMPSUIT.
326
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:56,936
SO FASHION FORWARD.
327
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,369
YOU KNOW THE THING
ABOUT MODELING...
328
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:36,243
- IN THE CAR NOW!
329
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,579
AROUND THE OTHER SIDE.
330
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,949
THAT VAN'S FULL OF ACHIEVERS.
331
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:44,651
WE GOTTA TAKE 'EM OUT.
332
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,553
- BUT GARY, THEY'RE
JUST FRATERNITY STUDENTS.
333
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,855
- STUDENTS WITH A LIFETIME
334
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:54,261
FULL OF ACHIEVEMENTS
AND CONQUESTS AHEAD OF 'EM.
335
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,563
FINE, I'LL TAKE 'EM OUT MYSELF.
336
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:58,531
- BUT MENTOR,
THERE ARE FIVE OF THEM
337
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,233
AND ONLY ONE OF YOU.
338
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:03,336
- ROOKIE, IT AIN'T
HOW HARD YOU GET HIT.
339
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:07,940
IT'S HOW HARD YOU CAN GET HIT
AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
340
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,476
Narrator:
A LINE FROM ROCKY BALBOA,
341
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,744
A FAVORITE MOVIE
AMONGST TROPHY MAKERS.
342
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,346
- SIX 20-YEAR-OLDS.
343
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:16,416
40 YEARS OF COMPETITION.
344
00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:19,919
2.3 AWARDS PER YEAR.
345
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,464
Narrator: AND THAT'S
PROBABLY WHERE COMPARISONS
346
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:24,357
TO GARY AND ROCKY BALBOA END.
347
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,335
- I MUST ADMIT,
I DON'T FULLY UNDERSTAND
348
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,903
THE WAY OF THE TROPHY MAKER
JUST YET,
349
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,407
BUT WHAT HE'S ATTEMPTING,
IT'S MURDER.
350
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,275
- IF IT MAKES YOU
FEEL ANY BETTER,
351
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,611
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT
YET EITHER.
352
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,879
I SAY LET THOSE JOCKS
GO TO THAT SORORITY
353
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,581
WITH THEIR LAME DATE RAPE DRUG
354
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,550
SO WE CAN GET BACK ON COURSE.
355
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:53,686
- SORORITY? DATE RAPE DRUG?
356
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,956
- YEAH, I HEARD 'EM
TALK ABOUT IT ON PEE BREAK.
357
00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,829
- I'M COMING, GARY.
358
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,664
- MENTOR!
359
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:06,599
- I THINK HE MIGHT BE DEAD.
360
00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,000
- SELF DEFENSE, BRO.
361
00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:09,769
RIGHT? RIGHT?
362
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:11,571
- GENTLEMEN, RELAX.
363
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,940
I HAVE A MEDICAL BACKGROUND.
364
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:17,076
GRAHAM, REFRESHING
BOXED FRUIT DRINK, PLEASE.
365
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,479
30ccs OF MEYER LEMON PRUNE.
366
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,648
NO, WAIT, APPLE WALNUT BERRY.
367
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,383
ITS CLOTTING EFFECTS
ARE STRONGER.
368
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:26,619
MM-HMM. OH, WOW.
369
00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:29,722
OH, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE
I'VE SEEN A CASE LIKE THIS.
370
00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:31,591
GENTLEMEN, I'M AFRAID
I'M GOING TO NEED ACCESS
371
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,593
TO YOUR TEAM'S MEDICAL KIT.
372
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:37,063
I NEED AN ICE PACK AND A ROLL
OF STRETCHABLE GAUZE.
373
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:40,867
SOMEBODY, PLEASE?
374
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,836
LEAVE ME.
375
00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,576
OH, WHY THANK YOU.
376
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:54,514
AND THAT SHOULD DO IT.
377
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,082
TAKE THAT, PLEASE.
378
00:21:56,115 --> 00:21:57,750
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
379
00:21:57,784 --> 00:21:58,818
ARE WE DONE HERE?
380
00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,687
CAN WE LEAVE? - UH, YES.
381
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,357
OH, WAIT.
382
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:07,026
DEAR LORD,
PLEASE FORGIVE THESE BOYS
383
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:09,996
FOR THE SINS
THAT THEY WISH TO COMMIT.
384
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:14,066
AMEN.
385
00:22:16,035 --> 00:22:17,103
NOW WE'RE DONE.
386
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:19,506
OKAY, GRAHAM, COME ON.
387
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,815
I STUDIED AT
THE KAZOO CONSERVATORY...
388
00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:34,120
AND ATTENDED
KAZOO CAMP EACH SUMMER,
389
00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:36,389
UNTIL ONE OF THE CAMP COUNSELORS
390
00:22:36,423 --> 00:22:38,858
FONDLED MY KAZOO.
391
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,995
OH.
392
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:46,766
- YOU... YOU THINK WE SHOULD
USE THAT ICE PACK FOR MENTOR?
393
00:22:46,799 --> 00:22:47,767
- OH, NO, NO.
394
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,068
HE'LL BE FINE.
395
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:51,638
- I DON'T KNOW
IF MENTOR WANTS US
396
00:22:51,671 --> 00:22:52,981
TO MESS AROUND
WITH HIS EQUIPMENT.
397
00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:54,507
- OH, NO, NO.
398
00:22:54,541 --> 00:22:56,976
THE, UH, STEREO VIBRATIONS
AND SO FORTH
399
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:59,946
WILL HELP ACTIVATE
THE NEURONS IN HIS BRAIN.
400
00:22:59,979 --> 00:23:02,782
- WOW, YOU SOME
KIND OF DOCTOR TOO?
401
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:05,151
- WELL, MY GRANDFATHER,
FATHER, AND BROTHER ARE,
402
00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:08,421
AND THOUGH I COULD DISSECT
A FROG LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS,
403
00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:10,790
IT REALLY WASN'T FOR ME.
404
00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:12,825
WEE BIT OF THE BLACK SHEEP,
I'M AFRAID.
405
00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:14,527
- I KNOW THE FEELING.
406
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,195
ALL MY BROTHERS
ARE AMAZING ATHLETES.
407
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:20,867
BUT MR. TROPHY CONSTRUCTED
382 OF THEIR TROPHIES.
408
00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:22,935
I WAS ALWAYS MORE INTO
THE TROPHIES THEY WON
409
00:23:22,969 --> 00:23:24,437
THAN THE SPORTS THEY PLAYED.
410
00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:26,573
- NOT THAT CLOSE, I TAKE IT?
411
00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:31,611
Narrator: NOT CLOSE AT ALL.
412
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:36,649
HE MAY NOT LOOK LIKE IT NOW,
413
00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:39,151
BUT GRAHAM'S STEP BROTHER,
GOLDEN GRAHAM,
414
00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:42,054
WAS A BIG-TIME TROPHY WINNER.
415
00:23:42,088 --> 00:23:45,157
THESE DAYS, HE WAS MUCH MORE
CONTENT TALKING ABOUT THE PAST.
416
00:23:45,191 --> 00:23:48,928
- HEY, STAVROS, YOUR KIDS
GOING AWAY FOR SPRING BREAK?
417
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:51,664
YOU KNOW, PANAMA CITY, CANCUN?
418
00:23:51,698 --> 00:23:55,234
BACK IN THE DAY, ME AND MY BOYS
USED TO ROCK FORT LAUDERDALE.
419
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:58,705
BABY GORILLA.
420
00:23:58,738 --> 00:24:01,574
- FIX THE LAWN MOWER,
YOU LOUSY GREEK.
421
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:05,612
- AH.
- AH. AH.
422
00:24:05,645 --> 00:24:09,115
- HI, STAVROS.
423
00:24:09,148 --> 00:24:11,017
- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
424
00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:12,852
- TO START MY NEW JOB.
425
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:14,954
- YOU GOT A JOB,
BEING MENTALLY DISABLED
426
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:17,023
SO THE GOVERNMENT SENDS POP
A CHECK ONCE A MONTH.
427
00:24:17,056 --> 00:24:19,759
YOU KNOW, BEING BORN STUPID
PAYS VERY WELL.
428
00:24:21,561 --> 00:24:23,129
- AH. YEAH.
LIKE A LITTLE BROAD. AH.
429
00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:24,831
GET OUT OF HERE.
430
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:26,833
YOU LOOK GREAT THOUGH.
431
00:24:26,866 --> 00:24:28,010
BEAUTIFUL OUTFIT. IT MATCHES.
432
00:24:28,034 --> 00:24:32,471
JERKOFF.
433
00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,515
Narrator: GRAHAM HAD NO CHOICE
BUT TO RUN AWAY FROM HOME.
434
00:24:42,549 --> 00:24:45,217
IN MANY WAYS,
HIS LAST CHANCE AT HAPPINESS
435
00:24:45,251 --> 00:24:47,286
WAS AT MR. TROPHY WITH GARY.
436
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,855
- FINALLY, HE WAKES.
437
00:24:48,888 --> 00:24:50,590
- SHOW HIM THE BEANSTALK CHART.
438
00:24:50,623 --> 00:24:52,725
- OH, YES.
439
00:24:52,759 --> 00:24:55,227
JUST A FUN WAY
TO CHART OUR PROGRESS.
440
00:24:55,261 --> 00:24:58,931
WE COLOR IN A PIECE OF THE STALK
AFTER EVERY TEN KILLS,
441
00:24:58,965 --> 00:25:00,933
MAKING SURE TO COLOR
THE ENTIRE STALK
442
00:25:00,967 --> 00:25:03,202
BEFORE WE GET TO BIG CHICKEN.
443
00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:11,210
- HUH?
444
00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:12,912
THE JOCKS FROM THE FRATERNITY.
445
00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,047
- YES, YOU'LL NOTICE
THEY'RE QUITE DEAD.
446
00:25:15,081 --> 00:25:17,550
I INSERTED A LETHAL MIX
OF ALCOHOL AND IODINE
447
00:25:17,584 --> 00:25:19,952
INTO THE AIR VENTS.
448
00:25:24,657 --> 00:25:26,826
GARY, HAD YOU SPECIFIED TO ME
449
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,761
WHAT YOU MEANT BY
"THEIR CONQUESTS,"
450
00:25:28,795 --> 00:25:32,331
YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN HURT.
451
00:25:34,967 --> 00:25:37,704
IS THAT FOOD I SMELL?
452
00:25:37,737 --> 00:25:40,206
- IT CERTAINLY IS.
453
00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,608
Narrator: THE SEEDS
OF FRIENDSHIP
454
00:25:41,641 --> 00:25:43,175
HAD AT LAST SPROUTED.
455
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:45,177
- AND, UH...
456
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:48,581
ONE REFRESHING
BOXED FRUIT DRINK, PLEASE.
457
00:25:48,615 --> 00:25:50,883
Narrator: INDEED,
SPRING BREAK WAS ABOUT TO GO
458
00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:52,885
TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL.
459
00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:55,087
- ROOK, CRANK THE TUNES.
460
00:25:55,121 --> 00:25:59,058
I NEED TO GET THESE,
UH, NEURONS ACTIVATED.
461
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:01,661
DOCTOR'S ORDERS.
462
00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:13,740
- * BAD KIDS
463
00:26:13,773 --> 00:26:15,875
* ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BAD KIDS *
464
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:18,044
* PRODUCT OF NO DAD KIDS
465
00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:20,713
* KIDS LIKE YOU AND ME
466
00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:22,815
* BAD KIDS
467
00:26:22,849 --> 00:26:25,017
* AIN'T NO COLLEGE GRAD KIDS
468
00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:27,253
* LIVIN' OUT ON THE SKIDS *
469
00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:30,790
* KIDS LIKE YOU AND ME
470
00:26:30,823 --> 00:26:33,059
- * IN CLASS
- * WE ARE A MINORITY
471
00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:35,161
- TROPHY MAKING'S
ALL ABOUT SPEED, ROOK.
472
00:26:35,194 --> 00:26:36,929
DON'T GET CAUGHT
NAPPING ON THE JOB.
473
00:26:36,963 --> 00:26:40,366
- * AND STEAL
- * FROM ALL YOUR MOTHERS
474
00:26:40,399 --> 00:26:42,368
- * THEY'LL TRY
- * TO GIVE US PILLS
475
00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:45,037
- * OH WAIT
- * GIVE US ALL THE PILLS
476
00:26:45,071 --> 00:26:47,173
- * GO CRY
- * MOM, I GOTTA GO TO COURT
477
00:26:47,206 --> 00:26:49,408
- * DAD WON'T
- * PAY HIS CHILD SUPPORT
478
00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:54,747
* WELL, YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND *
479
00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:58,951
* WE ONLY DO THESE THINGS
BECAUSE ALL WE ARE IS *
480
00:26:58,985 --> 00:27:00,186
* BAD KIDS
481
00:27:00,219 --> 00:27:02,421
* ALL MY FRIENDS ARE BAD KIDS *
482
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:04,957
* PRODUCT OF NO DAD KIDS
483
00:27:04,991 --> 00:27:08,227
* KIDS LIKE YOU AND ME
484
00:27:08,260 --> 00:27:09,762
* BAD KIDS
485
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:11,898
* AIN'T NO COLLEGE GRAD KIDS
486
00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:14,200
* LIVIN' OUT ON THE SKIDS *
487
00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:16,703
* KIDS LIKE YOU AND ME
488
00:27:16,736 --> 00:27:19,438
* LIKE YOU AND ME
489
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,340
narrator: WHILE OUR BUDDIES
WERE BUSY BONDING,
490
00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:24,811
THE AREA HAD SEEN A SURGE
IN MISSING CHILDREN,
491
00:27:24,844 --> 00:27:27,279
AND NOBODY WAS PAID TO CARE MORE
492
00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:30,416
THAN TV'S KATHIE LEE GIFFORD.
493
00:27:30,449 --> 00:27:32,952
TODAY IN THE COMMON ROOM.
494
00:27:32,985 --> 00:27:34,286
All: LAMBDAS!
495
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,756
- I'M HERE TODAY
AS A PAID SPOKESPERSON
496
00:27:36,789 --> 00:27:40,359
FOR GOTJARED.COM
497
00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:43,229
NOW, YOU ALL KNOW THAT JARED
WAS RECENTLY ABDUCTED,
498
00:27:43,262 --> 00:27:44,897
AND I THINK IT IS OUR DUTY
499
00:27:44,931 --> 00:27:46,966
TO DO EVERYTHING
WE CAN TO HELP HIM.
500
00:27:46,999 --> 00:27:50,369
CAN ANYONE HERE TELL ME WHY?
501
00:27:51,738 --> 00:27:53,239
- BECAUSE WITH ALL GREAT POWER
502
00:27:53,272 --> 00:27:55,441
COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY.
503
00:27:55,474 --> 00:27:56,976
- NO.
504
00:27:57,009 --> 00:28:01,413
BECAUSE IT'S
A TERRIFIC TOOL FOR...
505
00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:02,949
NETWORKING.
506
00:28:02,982 --> 00:28:04,350
THINK ABOUT IT,
YOU'RE OUT THERE,
507
00:28:04,383 --> 00:28:06,385
YOU'RE SELLING
YOUR GOTJARED.COM T-SHIRTS
508
00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:07,887
ALL OVER THE PLACE,
509
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,455
AND YOU ARE NOT ONLY
RAISING AWARENESS
510
00:28:09,488 --> 00:28:14,794
FOR POOR JARED,
BUT ALSO, THE BEST PART:
511
00:28:14,827 --> 00:28:18,831
3% OF ALL THE NET SALES
GO TO CHARITY.
512
00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:22,334
3%!
513
00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:26,372
HOW'S THAT FOR RESPONSIBILITY?
514
00:28:32,144 --> 00:28:33,913
Narrator: YOU CAN'T HAVE
SPRING BREAK
515
00:28:33,946 --> 00:28:36,015
WITHOUT SORORITY GIRLS,
516
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:37,483
AND YOU CAN'T BECOME
A TROPHY MAKER
517
00:28:37,516 --> 00:28:40,052
WITHOUT LEARNING
HOW TO SCOOP BABES.
518
00:28:40,086 --> 00:28:42,789
- ROOK, MAKE SURE I'M SECURE.
519
00:28:42,822 --> 00:28:45,157
Narrator: GARY WAS ABOUT
TO TEACH THE BUDDIES HOW.
520
00:28:45,191 --> 00:28:48,094
TROPHY MAKER STYLE.
521
00:28:48,127 --> 00:28:50,296
- ALL RIGHT, COME HERE.
522
00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:53,532
WE'RE GONNA DO WHAT'S KNOWN
AS "THE ANIMAL HOUSE PLAN."
523
00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:56,002
- OH, AS IN THE MOVIE?
- OH, YEAH.
524
00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:57,203
ME AND KRAVELLO,
525
00:28:57,236 --> 00:28:59,772
WE HAD THAT ON LOCKDOWN
BACK IN THE DAY.
526
00:28:59,806 --> 00:29:02,274
IT'S EVEN EASIER
IN TODAY'S INFORMATION AGE.
527
00:29:02,308 --> 00:29:04,376
ROOK, THIS THE SORORITY HOUSE?
528
00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:07,113
- LAMBDA OMEGA MU,
ST. A's COLLEGE.
529
00:29:07,146 --> 00:29:09,448
- OH, I KNOW THE VERY SCENE
YOU'RE EMULATING.
530
00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:10,783
BRILLIANT.
531
00:29:10,817 --> 00:29:13,820
BUT GARY.
532
00:29:13,853 --> 00:29:18,090
WHY THE BELT?
533
00:29:18,124 --> 00:29:21,127
- 'CAUSE CHICKS DIG CHAMPIONS.
534
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,895
YOU GOT YOUR CORSAGES?
535
00:29:22,929 --> 00:29:24,530
- CHECK.
- CHECK-CHECK.
536
00:29:24,563 --> 00:29:27,066
- THEN LET'S SCOOP SOME BABES.
537
00:29:27,099 --> 00:29:30,036
Narrator: "SCOOPING"
WAS TROPHY MAKER TERMINOLOGY
538
00:29:30,069 --> 00:29:31,170
FOR "HOOKING UP."
539
00:29:31,203 --> 00:29:35,074
- HELLO, LADIES.
540
00:29:38,845 --> 00:29:40,312
- OH, MY GOD.
541
00:29:40,346 --> 00:29:42,548
MISS KATHIE LEE GIFFORD.
542
00:29:42,581 --> 00:29:44,083
BIG FAN.
543
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:45,151
HERE IT IS.
544
00:29:45,184 --> 00:29:46,285
MORNING TALK SHOW.
545
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:49,055
COUCH, COFFEE TABLE, YOU, ME.
546
00:29:49,088 --> 00:29:50,156
MOSTLY ME.
547
00:29:50,189 --> 00:29:51,858
- NO.
548
00:29:51,891 --> 00:29:54,426
- UH, MRS. FRANK GIFFORD.
- OY.
549
00:29:54,460 --> 00:29:57,063
- I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE
TO ASK YOU THIS.
550
00:29:57,096 --> 00:30:00,266
THE HEISMAN TROPHY...
551
00:30:00,299 --> 00:30:04,536
SOLID NICKEL CHROME
OR BRASS DIP?
552
00:30:04,570 --> 00:30:07,339
Narrator: LIKE MOST WOMEN,
KATHIE LEE WAS HOT
553
00:30:07,373 --> 00:30:08,440
FOR TROPHY MAKERS.
554
00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:10,176
- TROPHY MAKER?
555
00:30:10,209 --> 00:30:11,577
- UH-HUH.
556
00:30:11,610 --> 00:30:12,578
- OH.
557
00:30:12,611 --> 00:30:14,947
OH, GOD.
558
00:30:14,981 --> 00:30:16,148
CALL ME.
559
00:30:16,182 --> 00:30:18,217
CALL ME.
560
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:20,887
- OH!
561
00:30:25,124 --> 00:30:27,593
- CAN I HELP YOU?
562
00:30:27,626 --> 00:30:29,028
- UH, YES.
563
00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:31,597
WE'RE HERE TO SEE
FAWN LIEBOWITZ.
564
00:30:31,630 --> 00:30:32,965
- WHO?
565
00:30:32,999 --> 00:30:35,534
LISA DOONER.
566
00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:40,372
- OH, I MEAN, LISA DOONER.
567
00:30:45,377 --> 00:30:48,080
- I THINK YOU'D BETTER
HAVE A SEAT IN THE LIVING ROOM.
568
00:30:48,114 --> 00:30:51,617
- DON'T MIND IF WE DO.
569
00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:57,289
- SNACKS!
570
00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:23,149
Narrator:
LIKE ALL TROPHY MAKERS,
571
00:31:23,182 --> 00:31:27,954
GARY HAD MASTERED
THE ART OF SEDUCTION.
572
00:31:29,188 --> 00:31:32,291
AND GRAHAM, HE BOUGHT A SHIRT.
573
00:31:32,324 --> 00:31:34,226
- THANKS FOR THE SHIRT.
574
00:31:34,260 --> 00:31:36,428
BEST 70 BUCKS I EVER SPENT.
575
00:31:36,462 --> 00:31:40,933
- NO PROB.
576
00:31:40,967 --> 00:31:44,603
I'M BRITTANY.
577
00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:47,306
- I'M KATELYN.
578
00:31:47,339 --> 00:31:50,042
YOU GUYS ARE HERE TO SEE LISA?
579
00:31:50,076 --> 00:31:53,279
- LISA AND I ARE ENGAGED.
580
00:31:53,312 --> 00:31:58,550
ACTUALLY, WE'RE ENGAGED
TO BE ENGAGED.
581
00:31:58,584 --> 00:32:00,062
Narrator: GARY AND LISA
WEREN'T ENGAGED.
582
00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:01,653
THEY DIDN'T EVEN
KNOW EACH OTHER.
583
00:32:01,687 --> 00:32:04,423
SEE, IT WAS ALL PART
OF THE ANIMAL HOUSE PLAN.
584
00:32:04,456 --> 00:32:06,692
FIND A DEAD SORORITY GIRL...
585
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,262
MEET UP WITH
HER GRIEVING SISTERS...
586
00:32:10,296 --> 00:32:12,364
TELL THEM YOU
WERE HER BOYFRIEND...
587
00:32:12,398 --> 00:32:14,700
- LISA AND I ARE ENGAGED.
588
00:32:14,733 --> 00:32:19,705
Narrator: SO THEY'LL FEEL
SORRY ENOUGH TO GO OUT WITH YOU.
589
00:32:19,738 --> 00:32:23,442
- GUYS, I KNOW
YOU CAME TO SEE LISA,
590
00:32:23,475 --> 00:32:26,578
BUT HOW ABOUT WE ALL
GO GET SOME DRINKS AND TALK?
591
00:32:26,612 --> 00:32:28,614
- BRIT, WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO SEE THE GUYS
592
00:32:28,647 --> 00:32:31,417
FROM THE RED KEY TONIGHT.
593
00:32:35,754 --> 00:32:39,325
UH, NO.
594
00:32:43,762 --> 00:32:45,131
FINE.
595
00:32:45,164 --> 00:32:47,666
- IT IS ON.
596
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,101
- OH, YEAH.
597
00:32:49,135 --> 00:32:51,237
- * ONE WILL LIVE IN INFAMY *
598
00:32:53,339 --> 00:32:54,740
narrator: THE LOCAL RON-A-ROLL,
599
00:32:54,773 --> 00:32:58,510
A.K.A. SCOOP CITY.
600
00:33:00,146 --> 00:33:03,582
- YOU KNOW,
THIS ACTUALLY MIGHT BE FUN.
601
00:33:03,615 --> 00:33:05,051
- HERE'S LITTLE DOGGIE.
602
00:33:05,084 --> 00:33:07,786
HE'S GOING TO THE... POUND!
603
00:33:09,555 --> 00:33:12,191
- PROPER ROLLING ATTIRE.
604
00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:14,126
- THIS PLACE IS AWESOME.
605
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,495
Narrator:
AND AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GARY
606
00:33:16,528 --> 00:33:19,565
TO CATCH UP WITH OLD FRIENDS.
607
00:33:19,598 --> 00:33:22,768
- * MY ATTEMPTS AT SEX
ARE POINTLESS *
608
00:33:22,801 --> 00:33:25,771
* MY BODY BRUISED,
BEEN RIDICULOUS *
609
00:33:25,804 --> 00:33:27,706
* I'M A CAUTIONARY TALE
610
00:33:27,739 --> 00:33:30,676
* FOR THE LAZY AND THE BLIND *
611
00:33:30,709 --> 00:33:33,712
* I'M YOUR TWO DELUSIONS
612
00:33:33,745 --> 00:33:37,249
- BUT THEN SHE SAID,
"DON'T WORRY,
613
00:33:37,283 --> 00:33:39,451
THESE SLACKS
ARE STAIN RESISTANT."
614
00:33:47,593 --> 00:33:48,560
- OH! OH!
615
00:33:48,594 --> 00:33:50,162
- LOOK.
616
00:33:50,196 --> 00:33:53,765
ONE OF US HAS TO TELL YOU
ALREADY, OKAY?
617
00:33:53,799 --> 00:33:58,237
LISA DIED LAST SEMESTER.
618
00:33:58,270 --> 00:34:00,539
Narrator: UP TILL NOW,
THE ANIMAL HOUSE PLAN
619
00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:04,310
WAS WORKING TO PERFECTION.
620
00:34:04,343 --> 00:34:06,712
BUT THERE WAS ONE THING
THEY HADN'T PLANNED ON.
621
00:34:06,745 --> 00:34:09,481
- BUT I BROUGHT
THIS PICTURE FOR YOU, GARY.
622
00:34:09,515 --> 00:34:13,652
Narrator: EVEN THOUGH
GARY HAD NEVER MET LISA,
623
00:34:13,685 --> 00:34:16,555
ALL HE HAD TO DO
WAS TAKE ONE LOOK AT HER.
624
00:34:16,588 --> 00:34:18,690
- YOU'RE DEAD?
625
00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:21,493
Narrator: GARY WAS NOW
MADLY IN LOVE WITH LISA.
626
00:34:21,527 --> 00:34:24,463
- WHY?
627
00:34:24,496 --> 00:34:29,268
WHY, GOD?
628
00:34:29,301 --> 00:34:32,204
OH, NO.
629
00:34:32,238 --> 00:34:35,207
SHE'S A ANGEL.
630
00:34:37,709 --> 00:34:41,547
Narrator: THE FOLLOWING IMAGES
ARE NOT REAL.
631
00:34:41,580 --> 00:34:46,585
- * I WONDER WHERE YOU WILL BE *
632
00:34:46,618 --> 00:34:48,220
* WHERE YOU'LL BE
633
00:34:48,254 --> 00:34:49,655
narrator:
THEY'RE FIGMENTS OF GARY'S
634
00:34:49,688 --> 00:34:52,858
INSTANT AND INEXPLICABLE
ROMANCE WITH LISA,
635
00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:56,628
AND THEY EXIST
ONLY IN HIS DELUSIONS.
636
00:34:56,662 --> 00:35:02,301
- * YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE A PART OF ME *
637
00:35:02,334 --> 00:35:04,203
* NOTHING LASTS
638
00:35:04,236 --> 00:35:07,439
* THAT'S HOW IT IS
639
00:35:07,473 --> 00:35:11,577
* SO I'LL SLIP AWAY BETWEEN...*
640
00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:17,216
- GARY, REMEMBER
THE ANIMAL HOUSE PLAN.
641
00:35:17,249 --> 00:35:20,286
WE LOOKED ONLINE,
FOUND LISA'S OBITUARY
642
00:35:20,319 --> 00:35:24,590
AND PRETENDED TO KNOW HER
IN ORDER TO SCOOP GIRLS.
643
00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:27,393
YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW LISA.
644
00:35:27,426 --> 00:35:30,229
- LOOK, WE HAVE
OTHER PLANS TONIGHT,
645
00:35:30,262 --> 00:35:32,464
SO IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?
646
00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:36,235
Narrator: WITH THAT, GARY
PUT HIS NEWFOUND FEELINGS ASIDE,
647
00:35:36,268 --> 00:35:39,205
FOR IT WAS AT LAST TIME
TO SEAL THE DEAL
648
00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:41,473
AND SCOOP THE GIRLS.
649
00:35:41,507 --> 00:35:45,444
- WELL, IF I WERE
IN YOUR SHOES, I'D BE...
650
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:47,579
- LEAVING. WHAT A GOOD IDEA.
651
00:35:47,613 --> 00:35:49,781
Both: WHOO!
652
00:35:51,450 --> 00:35:53,252
Narrator: SUFFICE IT TO SAY,
653
00:35:53,285 --> 00:35:55,921
THE BUDDIES' INTERPRETATION
OF SCOOPING AND HOOKING UP
654
00:35:55,954 --> 00:35:58,424
WAS, LIKE THEM, IDIOTIC.
655
00:36:02,728 --> 00:36:05,664
- I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE JUST SCOOPED.
656
00:36:05,697 --> 00:36:10,336
THIS IS GONNA BE
THE BEST SPRING BREAK EVER.
657
00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:12,538
- * AND I
658
00:36:12,571 --> 00:36:15,574
* YEAH I GOT A BUNCH
659
00:36:15,607 --> 00:36:17,776
* OF HOMEMADE COOKIES
660
00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:22,581
* YOU WANNA EAT 'EM WITH ME? *
661
00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:25,951
- SPEED, KID, SPEED.
662
00:36:25,984 --> 00:36:27,586
- WHOA.
663
00:36:27,619 --> 00:36:30,322
- * YEAH, WE'RE FRIENDS
664
00:36:30,356 --> 00:36:31,723
* YEAH, YOU KNOW WE'RE PALS *
665
00:36:31,757 --> 00:36:33,259
- * WE'RE TOTALLY PALS
666
00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:35,694
- * YEAH, WE'RE BEST FRIENDS *
667
00:36:35,727 --> 00:36:38,930
* YEAH, WE'RE TOTALLY PALS *
668
00:36:38,964 --> 00:36:41,400
* WELL, THE GIRLS COME AND GO *
669
00:36:41,433 --> 00:36:42,934
* BUT MY FRIENDS,
THEY STICK AROUND *
670
00:36:42,968 --> 00:36:44,603
- GLASS, CRYSTAL, ACRYLIC.
671
00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:47,439
- OH, UNCANNY.
672
00:36:47,473 --> 00:36:50,376
- * GOT A BUNCH
673
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:52,978
* OF HEARTACHE HURTING
674
00:36:53,011 --> 00:36:54,813
* YOU WANNA TALK TO ME
675
00:36:56,948 --> 00:36:58,384
- OH!
676
00:36:58,417 --> 00:36:59,385
OH!
677
00:36:59,418 --> 00:37:00,386
OH!
678
00:37:00,419 --> 00:37:02,688
- * GOT A BUNCH
679
00:37:02,721 --> 00:37:03,955
- YOU'RE REALLY BRINGING IT!
680
00:37:03,989 --> 00:37:05,391
YOU'RE BRINGING IT HOME!
681
00:37:05,424 --> 00:37:07,293
ROOK!
682
00:37:07,326 --> 00:37:08,594
I GOT SPEED!
683
00:37:14,700 --> 00:37:16,368
- * YEAH, WE'RE FRIENDS
684
00:37:16,402 --> 00:37:18,770
* YEAH, YOU KNOW WE'RE PALS *
685
00:37:18,804 --> 00:37:20,306
- * TOTALLY PALS
686
00:37:20,339 --> 00:37:22,741
- * YEAH, WE'RE BEST FRIENDS *
687
00:37:22,774 --> 00:37:26,512
* YEAH, WE'RE TOTALLY PALS *
688
00:37:26,545 --> 00:37:27,913
* WELL, THE GIRLS COME AND GO *
689
00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:31,817
* BUT MY FRIENDS
THEY STICK AROUND *
690
00:37:41,059 --> 00:37:42,928
narrator:
THE BUDDIES WERE CLOSING IN,
691
00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:46,298
BUT OVER AT THE SPRINGLE BELL
TOY RUN DONATION CENTER,
692
00:37:46,332 --> 00:37:52,338
BIG CHICKEN WAS CLOSING IN
ON A PRIZE OF HIS OWN.
693
00:37:55,941 --> 00:37:57,343
- THIS.
694
00:37:57,376 --> 00:37:59,611
THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.
695
00:37:59,645 --> 00:38:02,548
WE WIN THIS TROPHY...
696
00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:04,816
- AND THEN WE CAN MAKE
ALL THE CLOWN FILMS WE WANT.
697
00:38:04,850 --> 00:38:08,053
Narrator: YOU HEARD RIGHT.
698
00:38:09,888 --> 00:38:13,425
AS IN PORNOGRAPHY WITH CLOWNS.
699
00:38:15,694 --> 00:38:17,663
AND BIG CHICKEN,
WITH HIS WHITE DEVILS,
700
00:38:17,696 --> 00:38:21,667
WERE THE BIGGEST
PRODUCERS OF IT.
701
00:38:21,700 --> 00:38:24,736
BUT CLOWN SHOOTS
HAD BEEN ILLEGAL
702
00:38:24,770 --> 00:38:29,808
SINCE THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION.
703
00:38:29,841 --> 00:38:33,912
COLLECTING TOYS FOR NEEDY KIDS
AND WINNING THE TROPHY
704
00:38:33,945 --> 00:38:36,415
WOULD KEEP POLICE
OFF THEIR BACKS
705
00:38:36,448 --> 00:38:39,685
AND AWAY FROM THEIR
ILLEGAL CLOWN ACTIVITIES.
706
00:38:39,718 --> 00:38:45,691
- ALL WE NEED...
IS OUR LITTLE ELVES...
707
00:38:45,724 --> 00:38:48,460
TO MAKE US MORE TOYS.
708
00:38:48,494 --> 00:38:52,531
MMM MMM MMM.
709
00:38:52,564 --> 00:38:55,033
Narrator:
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN,
710
00:38:55,066 --> 00:39:00,038
THE BOYS SETTLED IN
AFTER ANOTHER PRODUCTIVE DAY.
711
00:39:00,071 --> 00:39:01,773
UNFORTUNATELY,
712
00:39:01,807 --> 00:39:05,444
EYES WERE STILL UPON THEM.
713
00:39:07,045 --> 00:39:08,623
- AND ON THE LOCAL FRONT,
WE'RE JUST DAYS AWAY
714
00:39:08,647 --> 00:39:11,016
FROM THE ANNUAL
SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN.
715
00:39:11,049 --> 00:39:13,952
RIVAL BIKERS ARE POURING IN
WITH THE HOPES OF WINNING
716
00:39:13,985 --> 00:39:16,388
THE PRESTIGIOUS
SPRINGLE BELL TROPHY.
717
00:39:16,422 --> 00:39:20,025
IN OTHER NEWS, TWO OTHER
CHILDREN HAVE GONE MISSING.
718
00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:22,961
- I JUST...
I JUST WISH LISA WAS HERE
719
00:39:22,994 --> 00:39:25,497
TO SEE US GET BIG CHICKEN.
720
00:39:25,531 --> 00:39:27,065
- OH, SHE SEES IT, GARY.
721
00:39:27,098 --> 00:39:30,135
SHE SEES IT.
722
00:39:30,168 --> 00:39:32,003
I-I TOO WISH I COULD SHARE
WHAT WE WERE DOING.
723
00:39:32,037 --> 00:39:34,973
MY FATHER AND BROTHER
LIVE BUT 15 MINUTES FROM HERE.
724
00:39:35,006 --> 00:39:37,476
- THEY MUST BE PROUD OF YOU.
725
00:39:37,509 --> 00:39:38,777
- OH, OF COURSE.
726
00:39:38,810 --> 00:39:41,379
ALL THEY DO IS BRAG.
727
00:39:44,683 --> 00:39:48,420
MY FATHER WOULD BE MORE
PROUD THOUGH, IF I, UH,
728
00:39:48,454 --> 00:39:50,055
IF I WERE PRACTICING MEDICINE.
729
00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:52,958
- YOU COULD.
YOU'RE A MEDICAL GENIUS.
730
00:39:56,595 --> 00:39:59,598
GRAHAM REALLY
LOOKS UP TO YOU, YOU KNOW.
731
00:39:59,631 --> 00:40:01,967
- KRAVELLO.
732
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,670
THAT WAS THE GUY
TO INTERN UNDER.
733
00:40:04,703 --> 00:40:06,738
- YOUR OLD MENTOR.
734
00:40:06,772 --> 00:40:07,973
WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM, GARY?
735
00:40:08,006 --> 00:40:10,976
IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING.
736
00:40:14,012 --> 00:40:17,215
Narrator: MICHELANGELO...
DA VINCI...
737
00:40:17,248 --> 00:40:19,985
KRAVELLO.
738
00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:22,821
KENNY KRAVELLO
WAS A MASTER TROPHY MAKER
739
00:40:22,854 --> 00:40:25,491
WHOSE RADICAL CONCEPTS
WOULD PERMANENTLY ALTER
740
00:40:25,524 --> 00:40:29,728
THE LANDSCAPE
OF TROPHY CONSTRUCTION.
741
00:40:29,761 --> 00:40:32,731
THE GREATEST ROOKIE IN
THE HISTORY OF MR. TROPHY,
742
00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:37,235
KRAVELLO DISPLAYED TROPHY MAKING
SKILLS NEVER BEFORE SEEN,
743
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:40,038
TILL YEARS LATER,
WHEN GARY ARRIVED.
744
00:40:40,071 --> 00:40:41,907
IN NO TIME, THE TWO BECAME
745
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:44,042
THE FINEST ROOKIE-MENTOR
PARTNERSHIP
746
00:40:44,075 --> 00:40:46,244
IN THE TROPHY BUSINESS.
747
00:40:46,277 --> 00:40:48,213
IT ALL APPEARED PERFECT
748
00:40:48,246 --> 00:40:51,249
TILL THE MR. TROPHY
COMPANY CHRISTMAS PARTY.
749
00:40:51,282 --> 00:40:53,752
THE MORNING BEGAN
LIKE ALL THE OTHERS.
750
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,954
- HEY, CHIEF.
751
00:40:55,987 --> 00:40:57,889
MARIA.
752
00:40:57,923 --> 00:41:00,025
Narrator: KRAVELLO,
MR. PRELL, AND GARY,
753
00:41:00,058 --> 00:41:01,793
KNOWN AS "THE BIG THREE,"
754
00:41:01,827 --> 00:41:04,095
WERE GETTING READY
FOR THE NIGHT OF THEIR LIVES.
755
00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,231
- WHOO! GOOD MORNING, LADIES.
756
00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,601
FIRST, I'M GONNA
START OFF LIKE THIS.
757
00:41:09,635 --> 00:41:11,670
HEY, HELP ME SING IT, HOMEBOY.
COME ON.
758
00:41:11,703 --> 00:41:14,005
* SAID COLT 45
AND TWO ZIG ZAGS *
759
00:41:14,039 --> 00:41:15,874
* BABY, THAT'S ALL WE NEED
760
00:41:15,907 --> 00:41:17,985
narrator: IT WAS THE HEIGHT OF
THE PARTICIPATION GENERATION...
761
00:41:18,009 --> 00:41:20,178
THE ERA OF EVERYONE
GETS A TROPHY
762
00:41:20,211 --> 00:41:22,013
JUST FOR PARTICIPATING.
763
00:41:22,047 --> 00:41:26,585
- * WE CAN TAKE OUR TURN
SINGING THEM DIRTY RAP SONGS *
764
00:41:26,618 --> 00:41:28,295
* STOP AND HIT THE BONG
LIKE CHEECH AND CHONG *
765
00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:31,056
* AND SELL TAPES
FROM HERE TO HONG KONG *
766
00:41:31,089 --> 00:41:33,258
* SO ROLL, ROLL, ROLL MY JOINT *
767
00:41:33,291 --> 00:41:35,727
* PICK OUT THE SEEDS AND STEMS *
768
00:41:35,761 --> 00:41:36,895
* FEELING HIGH AS HELL
769
00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:38,296
* FLYIN' THROUGH PALMDALE
770
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,965
* SKATIN' ON DAYTON RIMS
771
00:41:39,998 --> 00:41:42,601
narrator: IT BECAME
A HIGH-STAKES WORLD OF WOMEN...
772
00:41:42,634 --> 00:41:44,703
narrator: DRUGS...
773
00:41:44,736 --> 00:41:45,704
AND TROPHIES.
774
00:41:45,737 --> 00:41:46,905
- HERE'S TO TROPHIES.
775
00:41:46,938 --> 00:41:48,840
Narrator: UNTIL...
776
00:41:48,874 --> 00:41:50,876
- OH, YOU DID IT!
777
00:41:50,909 --> 00:41:54,780
YOU DID IT.
778
00:41:59,084 --> 00:42:00,619
- KRAVELLO!
779
00:42:00,652 --> 00:42:02,020
MR. PRELL!
780
00:42:02,053 --> 00:42:08,026
KRAVELLO!
781
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:09,327
Narrator: AND FROM THAT DAY ON,
782
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,297
LIFE AT MR. TROPHY
WAS NEVER THE SAME.
783
00:42:12,330 --> 00:42:15,701
- WELL, MAYBE MR. TROPHY
CAN GET BACK ON TOP
784
00:42:15,734 --> 00:42:17,969
NOW THAT YOU HAVE GRAHAM.
785
00:42:18,003 --> 00:42:19,871
- WHY?
786
00:42:19,905 --> 00:42:23,609
SO I CAN END UP LIKE KRAVELLO?
787
00:42:23,642 --> 00:42:26,678
WHEN WE GET BACK, THAT KID'S
WORKING IN THE FRONT OFFICE.
788
00:42:26,712 --> 00:42:28,355
- BUT YOU'VE BEEN TRAINING HIM
LIKE YOU WANT A PARTNER.
789
00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:30,015
- LOOK...
790
00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:34,552
HE AIN'T MAKING TROPHIES
ALONGSIDE ME... PERIOD.
791
00:42:38,323 --> 00:42:41,192
NOW LET'S JUST
GET SOME SHUT-EYE.
792
00:42:41,226 --> 00:42:45,864
TOMORROW'S A BIG DAY.
793
00:43:02,380 --> 00:43:07,285
- MENTOR WANTS TO PUT YOU
IN THE FRONT OFFICE.
794
00:43:07,318 --> 00:43:10,388
WELL, GRAHAM, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO PROVE TO HIM
795
00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:12,390
THAT YOU CAN BE A TROPHY MAKER.
796
00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:15,060
TWO CREAMS, NO SUGAR?
797
00:43:15,093 --> 00:43:18,730
A REFRESHING BOXED FRUIT DRINK?
798
00:43:18,764 --> 00:43:22,367
MENTOR, I'VE BEEN THINKING
OF WAYS I CAN STEP UP MY GAME.
799
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,235
- FOR EXAMPLE,
800
00:43:24,269 --> 00:43:25,379
HAVE YOU CONSIDERED
CREATING AWARDS
801
00:43:25,403 --> 00:43:26,838
FOR PEOPLE WHO GIVE AWARDS?
802
00:43:26,872 --> 00:43:28,940
IT'S A...
IT'S AN UNTAPPED MARKET.
803
00:43:36,081 --> 00:43:38,083
WHERE'S THE PINTO?
804
00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:39,384
- ALL OF OUR MONEY'S IN THERE.
805
00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:50,395
- HEY, FELLAS,
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
806
00:43:50,428 --> 00:43:51,438
- UH, NOTHING.
NO PROBLEM AT ALL.
807
00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:55,867
- MY CARD.
808
00:43:55,901 --> 00:43:57,969
- VINCENT VAN GO.
809
00:43:58,003 --> 00:43:59,905
- UH, VINNY. VINNY VAN GO.
810
00:43:59,938 --> 00:44:01,840
I DRIVE THE OSCO DRUG
SAMARITAN VAN.
811
00:44:01,873 --> 00:44:04,342
WE'RE A PROMOTIONAL/COURTESY VAN
FOR ROAD EMERGENCIES.
812
00:44:04,375 --> 00:44:05,777
"COURTESY" AS IN FREE.
813
00:44:05,811 --> 00:44:07,746
- HOW CLEVER.
814
00:44:11,416 --> 00:44:14,419
LOOK, I'VE BEEN TRACKING YOU
AND I KNOW EVERYTHING,
815
00:44:14,452 --> 00:44:17,222
EVERY LITTLE DETAIL
DOWN TO EVERY DEAD BODY.
816
00:44:17,255 --> 00:44:20,792
THAT'S RIGHT.
817
00:44:20,826 --> 00:44:23,261
NOW, IF YOU KNOW
WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU,
818
00:44:23,294 --> 00:44:25,139
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE A RIDE
WITH YOUR NEW BEST BUDDY,
819
00:44:25,163 --> 00:44:27,432
VINNY VAN GO.
820
00:44:27,465 --> 00:44:29,234
IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU.
821
00:44:29,267 --> 00:44:33,304
SO DO YOU GUYS MYSPACE?
822
00:44:33,338 --> 00:44:34,706
I HAVE A MYSPACE ACCOUNT,
823
00:44:34,740 --> 00:44:37,042
BUT I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS.
824
00:44:44,916 --> 00:44:47,152
OH, GREGORY?
825
00:44:47,185 --> 00:44:48,453
CAN I HAVE ONE OF THOSE
826
00:44:48,486 --> 00:44:52,357
REFRESHING
BOXED FRUIT DRINKS, PLEASE?
827
00:44:52,390 --> 00:44:56,928
I SAID GIVE ME A
REFRESHING BOXED FRUIT DRINK!
828
00:44:58,396 --> 00:45:00,265
THANKS.
829
00:45:00,298 --> 00:45:02,167
OOH, OH, GUYS!
830
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:03,510
WE SHOULD PRETEND
TO BE THE A-TEAM.
831
00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,303
OH, YEAH. YEAH.
832
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:06,938
I GET TO BE HANNIBAL. CALLED IT!
833
00:45:06,972 --> 00:45:09,507
NO, NO, WAIT.
I'M DRIVING THE VAN.
834
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:11,209
YEAH, I SHOULD BE B.A. BARACUS,
835
00:45:11,242 --> 00:45:12,744
BECAUSE I PITY THE FOOL!
836
00:45:12,778 --> 00:45:15,480
OH, YEAH, I PITY THE FOOL!
837
00:45:15,513 --> 00:45:19,317
- WE'VE BEEN TAKEN CAPTIVE
BY AN ENERGY VAMPIRE.
838
00:45:19,350 --> 00:45:21,319
- YOU GENIUSES
AND YOUR IMAGINATIONS.
839
00:45:21,352 --> 00:45:23,822
VAMPIRES ARE MAKE-BELIEVE.
840
00:45:23,855 --> 00:45:25,099
- VAMPIRES ARE
FICTIONAL CHARACTERS
841
00:45:25,123 --> 00:45:27,325
BASED ON REAL LIFE
"ENERGY VAMPIRES."
842
00:45:27,358 --> 00:45:29,761
INSTEAD OF SUCKING BLOOD,
THEY SUCK ENERGY.
843
00:45:29,795 --> 00:45:34,032
- WELCOME TO THE OPENING NIGHT
OF MY NEW MUSICAL.
844
00:45:35,533 --> 00:45:37,235
VINNY.
845
00:45:37,268 --> 00:45:39,004
- THE COFFIN-LIKE INTERIOR,
846
00:45:39,037 --> 00:45:41,539
OUR PULSE RATES FALLING
WITH EVERY FRIVOLOUS SUBJECT,
847
00:45:41,572 --> 00:45:44,075
THE HEAVY SMELL
OF DRAKKAR NOIR...
848
00:45:45,543 --> 00:45:48,379
- OKAY, WHO CAN HOLD A NOTE
THE LONGEST?
849
00:45:48,413 --> 00:45:49,848
ME FIRST.
850
00:45:49,881 --> 00:45:55,553
LAAAAAA...
851
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:58,523
AHHH!
852
00:45:58,556 --> 00:46:01,026
AH, MAN!
853
00:46:01,059 --> 00:46:03,494
Narrator: VINNY HOPED
BUYING THE BUDDIES A PIZZA
854
00:46:03,528 --> 00:46:05,496
WOULD SOLIDIFY A FRIENDSHIP,
855
00:46:05,530 --> 00:46:07,866
NOT THAT THEY HAD ANY CHOICE.
856
00:46:07,899 --> 00:46:09,868
- THIS MISSING KID JARED
HAS HIS PICTURE
857
00:46:09,901 --> 00:46:12,437
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
858
00:46:16,174 --> 00:46:19,777
GUYS, WE SHOULD TOTALLY
DRAW A HITLER MUSTACHE ON HIM.
859
00:46:26,918 --> 00:46:28,119
- THE BREAD...
860
00:46:28,153 --> 00:46:29,587
IT'S GARLIC BREAD.
861
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,991
THE GARLIC WILL REPEL HIS POWER
AND RESTORE OUR ENERGY.
862
00:46:33,024 --> 00:46:34,459
EAT.
863
00:46:37,462 --> 00:46:41,032
- MORE CHERRY COLA,
YOU FILTHY WHORE!
864
00:46:41,066 --> 00:46:42,901
NOW, ABOUT ME.
865
00:46:42,934 --> 00:46:46,404
NOW, YOU CAN ALREADY TELL
I'M A GREAT LISTENER.
866
00:46:46,437 --> 00:46:50,075
THAT'S WHY MY NONIE BOUGHT ME
THE SAMARITAN VAN.
867
00:46:50,108 --> 00:46:53,344
- VINNY.
868
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:56,081
YOU'RE CLOSE WITH
YOUR GRANDMOTHER THEN?
869
00:46:56,114 --> 00:46:59,317
- YEAH, I LIVE WITH HER.
870
00:46:59,350 --> 00:47:01,486
- IF YOU ALLOW US TO PART WAYS
871
00:47:01,519 --> 00:47:03,488
AND AGREE TO FORGET ALL OF THIS,
872
00:47:03,521 --> 00:47:06,524
NO HARM WILL COME TO HER.
873
00:47:09,060 --> 00:47:11,496
- YOU GUYS WOULD KILL
MY GRANDMOTHER?
874
00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:12,964
- YES.
- YES.
875
00:47:12,998 --> 00:47:16,001
- WE WOULD, VINNY.
- WE WOULD, VINNY.
876
00:47:17,468 --> 00:47:18,937
- THIS IS GONNA BE AMAZING!
877
00:47:18,970 --> 00:47:20,505
OH, MY GOD.
878
00:47:20,538 --> 00:47:24,509
WHEN ARE WE GONNA KILL HER?
WHAT DO I WEAR?
879
00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:25,944
OH, WAIT.
880
00:47:25,977 --> 00:47:28,313
I WANT YOU GUYS TO KNOW
THAT KILLING HER
881
00:47:28,346 --> 00:47:31,382
ISN'T GONNA GET IN THE WAY
OF OUR GETTING BIG CHICKEN.
882
00:47:31,416 --> 00:47:34,319
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND
A WAY TO PAY FOR GAS.
883
00:47:34,352 --> 00:47:38,056
- DIDN'T YOU SAY YOUR FAMILY
LIVES NEAR HERE?
884
00:47:38,089 --> 00:47:43,094
- NO, NO. I WILL NOT ASK
MY FATHER FOR MONEY.
885
00:47:58,409 --> 00:48:00,611
ANOTHER ACCIDENT?
886
00:48:00,645 --> 00:48:04,382
- OH, NO, MY FRIEND AND I
HAVE MERELY BROKEN DOWN.
887
00:48:05,683 --> 00:48:08,386
- HAVE A SEAT IN THE LIBRARY.
888
00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:12,490
I'LL TELL YOUR BROTHER
YOU'RE HERE.
889
00:48:12,523 --> 00:48:15,460
- GARY.
890
00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:22,067
OOH.
891
00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:23,668
NICE PLACE.
892
00:48:23,701 --> 00:48:26,671
IS THAT CRYSTAL?
893
00:48:26,704 --> 00:48:28,206
GARY...
894
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,276
- HOW MANY BATHROOMS
IN A PLACE THIS BIG?
895
00:48:31,309 --> 00:48:33,678
WHEW.
896
00:48:33,711 --> 00:48:36,314
GRANITE, MARBLE.
897
00:48:39,184 --> 00:48:41,319
- A LOT OF SHELF SPACE IN HERE.
898
00:48:41,352 --> 00:48:42,687
WHEW.
899
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:46,191
- THIS ROOM BRINGS BACK
MANY MEMORIES FOR ME.
900
00:48:46,224 --> 00:48:50,228
MY BROTHER GARTH'S
GRADUATION IN PARTICULAR.
901
00:48:59,470 --> 00:49:01,406
- THANK YOU.
902
00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:03,641
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
903
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:05,643
REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
904
00:49:05,676 --> 00:49:07,578
THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.
THANK YOU.
905
00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:11,716
THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
906
00:49:11,749 --> 00:49:14,319
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
907
00:49:14,352 --> 00:49:19,090
- CONGRATULATIONS,
DOCTOR VON GEARHART.
908
00:49:19,124 --> 00:49:21,492
- WELL, I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT
WITHOUT YOU, MOM AND DAD,
909
00:49:21,526 --> 00:49:23,995
OR WITHOUT THE LOVE AND DEVOTION
910
00:49:24,029 --> 00:49:26,064
OF MY BEAUTIFUL FIANCEE.
911
00:49:26,097 --> 00:49:29,500
- THE GOOD LORD HAS CERTAINLY
BLESSED OUR FAMILY.
912
00:49:29,534 --> 00:49:32,737
- HI, DADDY. HI, MOMMY.
913
00:49:32,770 --> 00:49:35,640
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
INVITED GUESTS.
914
00:49:35,673 --> 00:49:39,310
CONGRATULATIONS, GARTH. REALLY.
915
00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:42,013
AND WINTER.
916
00:49:42,047 --> 00:49:44,382
INSTRUCTION MANUAL'S INCLUDED.
917
00:49:44,415 --> 00:49:48,186
- HE WAS NEVER SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE.
918
00:49:48,219 --> 00:49:49,687
ONCE WINTER AND I ARE MARRIED,
919
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:52,090
I'M CUTTING OFF ALL CONTACT
WITH THIS FAMILY.
920
00:49:52,123 --> 00:49:54,259
I WILL NOT HAVE MY WIFE
OR MY CHILDREN
921
00:49:54,292 --> 00:49:55,393
EXPOSED TO THIS...
922
00:49:55,426 --> 00:49:56,627
STAIN.
923
00:49:56,661 --> 00:50:01,266
- GARTH, PLEASE. WE'LL FIX THIS.
924
00:50:01,299 --> 00:50:02,767
- YOU SHOULD'VE FIXED IT
925
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:05,603
WHEN POOR MOTHER WAS PREGNANT
AT 44 YEARS OLD.
926
00:50:08,473 --> 00:50:11,776
- DADDY, CAN I HELP BY HANDING
OUT SOME HORS D'OEUVRES?
927
00:50:11,809 --> 00:50:14,011
- SIT DOWN!
928
00:50:19,084 --> 00:50:22,587
- HONEY, LET'S DO A SONG
FROM THE CHURCH PLAY.
929
00:50:22,620 --> 00:50:24,089
- WINTER, NOT NOW.
930
00:50:24,122 --> 00:50:25,290
- ONE VERSE. COME ON.
931
00:50:25,323 --> 00:50:28,526
- SON, YOU'RE A VON GEARHART.
932
00:50:28,559 --> 00:50:31,396
YOU LOVE BEING THE CENTER
OF ATTENTION.
933
00:50:34,465 --> 00:50:38,269
- WELL, GUILTY.
934
00:50:45,176 --> 00:50:48,813
- * JESUS IS MY BEST FRIEND
FOREVER *
935
00:50:48,846 --> 00:50:52,817
* EVERYTHING WE DO,
I DO TOGETHER *
936
00:50:52,850 --> 00:50:56,321
* YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND HIM
ON MYSPACE *
937
00:50:56,354 --> 00:50:59,524
* EVERY DAY BUT SUNDAY
HE'S AT MY PLACE *
938
00:50:59,557 --> 00:51:03,361
- * WHAT KIND OF JACKASS
WOULDN'T LOVE JESUS? *
939
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:06,797
* WHAT KIND OF DOUCHE BAG
WOULDN'T LOVE THE LORD? *
940
00:51:06,831 --> 00:51:10,835
both: * WHAT KIND OF RETARD
WOULDN'T PRAY TO HEAVEN? *
941
00:51:10,868 --> 00:51:13,271
* THE KIND OF GUY
THAT NEVER SHOULD BEEN BORN *
942
00:51:13,304 --> 00:51:14,405
- EVERYBODY!
943
00:51:14,439 --> 00:51:15,573
All: * WHAT KIND OF JACKASS
944
00:51:15,606 --> 00:51:17,842
* WOULDN'T LOVE JESUS?
945
00:51:17,875 --> 00:51:20,878
* THE KIND OF GUY THAT
NEVER SHOULD BEEN BORN *
946
00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:22,213
- ONCE AGAIN!
947
00:51:22,247 --> 00:51:23,414
All: * WHAT KIND OF JACKASS
948
00:51:23,448 --> 00:51:25,716
* WOULDN'T LOVE JESUS?
949
00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:28,486
* THE KIND OF GUY
THAT NEVER SHOULD BEEN BORN *
950
00:51:31,589 --> 00:51:34,492
- MY FIANCE, THE DOCTOR!
951
00:51:34,525 --> 00:51:36,427
- MY SON, THE DOCTOR.
952
00:51:39,397 --> 00:51:41,242
- THAT WAS THE NIGHT
I INJECTED MY BROTHER'S SPINE
953
00:51:41,266 --> 00:51:42,767
WITH LIGHTER FLUID,
954
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:46,637
LEAVING HIM WITH SENSITIVITY
IN ONLY THREE FINGERS.
955
00:51:52,743 --> 00:51:55,313
GARTH! HOW LOVELY TO SEE YOU.
956
00:51:55,346 --> 00:51:57,182
AND WINTER.
957
00:51:57,215 --> 00:51:59,284
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
958
00:51:59,317 --> 00:52:02,187
- I NEED MONEY.
959
00:52:02,220 --> 00:52:03,754
DADDY.
960
00:52:03,788 --> 00:52:05,456
LET ME MAKE THIS.
961
00:52:05,490 --> 00:52:07,758
I MAKE IT ALL THE TIME
AT THE RECTORY.
962
00:52:07,792 --> 00:52:11,162
PLEASE?
963
00:52:11,196 --> 00:52:13,398
- GARTH, WE NEED
TO MAKE THIS FAST.
964
00:52:13,431 --> 00:52:15,900
AS PRESIDENT-ELECT
OF THE SPECIAL OLYMPICS,
965
00:52:15,933 --> 00:52:19,370
YOU NEED TO MEET
WITH YOUR TRANSITION TEAM.
966
00:52:19,404 --> 00:52:21,739
- YOUR BROTHER'S
BECOME QUITE THE STAR.
967
00:52:21,772 --> 00:52:26,244
SON OF A GUN MAKES TWICE WHAT
I DID WHEN I WAS PRACTICING.
968
00:52:26,277 --> 00:52:29,347
- AND I
AM BETTER-LOOKING THAN YOU.
969
00:52:44,562 --> 00:52:47,498
- HOW'S THE TEA, DADDY?
970
00:52:47,532 --> 00:52:49,534
THE TEA?
971
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,975
- IT'S ACTUALLY PERFECT.
972
00:52:58,008 --> 00:53:01,246
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
I RECEIVED A LETTER
973
00:53:01,279 --> 00:53:03,214
FROM ONE OF YOUR PRIESTS.
974
00:53:03,248 --> 00:53:04,815
YOU'VE BECOME QUITE
THE LITTLE HOMEMAKER
975
00:53:04,849 --> 00:53:06,451
AROUND THE RECTORIES.
976
00:53:06,484 --> 00:53:07,785
- SERIOUSLY,
977
00:53:07,818 --> 00:53:09,330
HOW MANY HARVARD GRADUATES
WOULD GIVE UP
978
00:53:09,354 --> 00:53:11,856
A CAREER IN MEDICINE
TO WORK WITH THE CHURCH?
979
00:53:11,889 --> 00:53:13,424
HA, HA, HA.
980
00:53:13,458 --> 00:53:14,592
HA, HA, HA.
981
00:53:14,625 --> 00:53:16,227
HA, HA, HA.
982
00:53:17,595 --> 00:53:19,664
OH, I THINK
YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME, GARY.
983
00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:22,600
IT WAS MY BROTHER GARTH
THAT WENT TO HARVARD.
984
00:53:22,633 --> 00:53:24,335
- HUH?
985
00:53:24,369 --> 00:53:25,579
- GREGORY
ATTENDED COMMUNITY COLLEGE
986
00:53:25,603 --> 00:53:29,474
FOR ONE SEMESTER
BEFORE FLUNKING OUT.
987
00:53:31,909 --> 00:53:33,378
- SO...
988
00:53:33,411 --> 00:53:35,380
GARWEE.
989
00:53:35,413 --> 00:53:37,482
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK?
990
00:53:37,515 --> 00:53:39,817
- WELL...
- GARY IS AN ENGINEER.
991
00:53:39,850 --> 00:53:44,355
HE WORKS WITH COLORFUL RESINS
AND PLASTICS.
992
00:53:44,389 --> 00:53:46,891
UH, HE RECENTLY LOST
HIS GIRLFRIEND, LISA.
993
00:53:46,924 --> 00:53:49,960
I'M PROVIDING SPIRITUAL COUNSEL.
994
00:53:49,994 --> 00:53:52,263
IF ANYTHING GOOD
HAS COME OUT OF THE LOSS,
995
00:53:52,297 --> 00:53:54,532
IT'S THAT THE TWO OF US
ARE ACTUALLY NOW DATING
996
00:53:54,565 --> 00:53:56,934
KATELYN AND BRITTANY...
LISA'S OLD ROOMMATES.
997
00:53:56,967 --> 00:54:01,005
- GREGORY, YOU'RE DATING?
998
00:54:01,038 --> 00:54:03,007
- IT'S VERY EXCITING.
999
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:05,610
- A GIRL?
- YEAH!
1000
00:54:05,643 --> 00:54:09,880
- YOU'VE HAD INTERCOURSE
WITH HER?
1001
00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:11,649
- WHY, WE WERE ON OUR WAY
1002
00:54:11,682 --> 00:54:13,351
TO HAVE INTERCOURSE
WITH THE TWO OF THEM
1003
00:54:13,384 --> 00:54:16,754
WHEN GARY'S CAR WAS STOLEN.
1004
00:54:16,787 --> 00:54:19,657
DADDY.
1005
00:54:21,892 --> 00:54:24,028
I KNOW I'VE BEEN
A CONSTANT SOURCE OF GRIEF
1006
00:54:24,061 --> 00:54:26,931
FOR THIS FAMILY, BUT...
1007
00:54:28,566 --> 00:54:31,836
I'VE GROWN.
1008
00:54:33,971 --> 00:54:36,641
- SON.
1009
00:54:40,378 --> 00:54:43,981
MOTHER AND I HAD YOU
SO LATE IN LIFE.
1010
00:54:44,014 --> 00:54:47,017
YOU WERE...
1011
00:54:47,051 --> 00:54:49,354
AN ACCIDENT.
1012
00:54:49,387 --> 00:54:51,489
BUT WITH...
1013
00:54:51,522 --> 00:54:55,960
WITH YOUR CLEANING,
1014
00:54:55,993 --> 00:55:01,065
I-I GUESS YOU'VE FINALLY FOUND
1015
00:55:01,098 --> 00:55:03,701
A WAY TO FIT IN.
1016
00:55:07,872 --> 00:55:10,341
- DADDY, CAN I PERFORM
A LITTLE NUMBER
1017
00:55:10,375 --> 00:55:13,978
I COMPOSED FOR YOU
AND FOR GARTH?
1018
00:55:14,011 --> 00:55:16,414
WE VON GEARHARTS LOVE BEING
THE CENTER OF ATTENTION.
1019
00:55:16,447 --> 00:55:17,715
GUILTY.
1020
00:55:17,748 --> 00:55:19,016
IT'S JUST A LITTLE DITTY
1021
00:55:19,049 --> 00:55:21,118
THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON...
1022
00:55:21,151 --> 00:55:24,789
FOR THE PAST 20 YEARS.
1023
00:55:26,056 --> 00:55:29,360
* DADDY, DADDY
1024
00:55:29,394 --> 00:55:33,964
* HOW I LOVE THEE SO
1025
00:55:35,566 --> 00:55:37,702
* DADDY, DADDY
1026
00:55:37,735 --> 00:55:40,538
* DANCIN' TO AND FRO
1027
00:55:40,571 --> 00:55:44,842
ALL PART OF THE PERFORMANCE.
1028
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:47,912
* DANCIN' TO AND FRO
1029
00:55:47,945 --> 00:55:51,549
* WILL YOU THINK OF ME, DADDY *
1030
00:55:51,582 --> 00:55:56,887
* AS I'M DANCIN' SLOW
1031
00:55:56,921 --> 00:55:58,423
KAZOO SOLO.
1032
00:56:06,831 --> 00:56:11,035
- UH, SON...
1033
00:56:11,068 --> 00:56:14,071
LET ME GET THE MONEY.
1034
00:56:19,477 --> 00:56:21,178
- I DO MORE THAN CLEANING,
GARTH.
1035
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:23,914
I DO THE LORD'S WORK.
1036
00:56:23,948 --> 00:56:26,584
YOU ARE A SOCIOPATH.
1037
00:56:28,486 --> 00:56:30,988
YOUR ACTIONS ARE DICTATED
BY A PSYCHOTIC NEED
1038
00:56:31,021 --> 00:56:33,958
FOR ATTENTION AND ADULATION.
1039
00:56:33,991 --> 00:56:37,728
YOU ARE INCAPABLE
OF FORMING BONDS WITH OTHERS.
1040
00:56:37,762 --> 00:56:39,930
I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT
YOU AND ONE HOUR PHOTO HERE
1041
00:56:39,964 --> 00:56:41,766
ARE REALLY UP TO.
1042
00:56:41,799 --> 00:56:43,768
- GARY IS MY FRIEND.
1043
00:56:43,801 --> 00:56:46,203
- YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS,
ONLY VICTIMS,
1044
00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:51,609
AND ACCOMPLICES WHO END UP
AS VICTIMS.
1045
00:57:04,555 --> 00:57:06,457
- OH. THAT'S OKAY.
1046
00:57:08,225 --> 00:57:10,695
OH. OW!
1047
00:57:10,728 --> 00:57:11,962
OW.
1048
00:57:11,996 --> 00:57:12,997
ALL RIGHT.
1049
00:57:13,030 --> 00:57:14,632
AAH!
1050
00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:15,809
NO, YOU... I GOT IT.
LET ME JUST GET YOUR HANDS OFF.
1051
00:57:15,833 --> 00:57:18,969
GET... I GOT IT. LEAVE IT ALONE.
1052
00:57:20,505 --> 00:57:21,939
SHIT.
1053
00:57:21,972 --> 00:57:24,108
GOD...
1054
00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:29,647
OH. OKAY, FINE. DO IT YOURSELF.
1055
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:30,848
THAT WAS MY FOOT!
1056
00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:39,657
- MENTOR, I KNOW YOU
MAY HAVE ALTERNATIVE PLANS
1057
00:57:39,690 --> 00:57:41,859
FOR MY INTERNSHIP, BUT IF
I COULD JUST HAVE A SECOND...
1058
00:57:41,892 --> 00:57:42,860
- NOT NOW, ROOK.
1059
00:57:42,893 --> 00:57:47,131
THIS IS WHY I WORK ALONE.
1060
00:57:47,164 --> 00:57:50,100
- WELL, THAT WAS
A PLEASANT VISIT.
1061
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:51,769
SORRY FOR THE DELAY.
1062
00:57:51,802 --> 00:57:55,239
I JUST HAD TO SLIP INTO
SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE.
1063
00:57:55,272 --> 00:57:57,241
- I JUST GOT WORD
ON THE TWO-WAY.
1064
00:57:57,274 --> 00:57:59,510
BIG CHICKEN AND THE WHITE DEVILS
ARE HOLING UP
1065
00:57:59,544 --> 00:58:00,678
AT SANTA'S PLANTATION.
1066
00:58:00,711 --> 00:58:02,146
- THE OLD ABANDONED THEME PARK
1067
00:58:02,179 --> 00:58:03,814
JUST OUTSIDE LACONIA.
1068
00:58:03,848 --> 00:58:06,751
WHY, WE COULD TAKE OUT
BIG CHICKEN
1069
00:58:06,784 --> 00:58:10,054
BEFORE HE EVEN GETS
TO THE SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN.
1070
00:58:10,087 --> 00:58:14,158
NOT BAD, ENERGY VAMPIRE.
1071
00:58:14,191 --> 00:58:16,126
- ENERGY WHAT?
1072
00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,729
AND I THOUGHT I WAS WEIRD.
1073
00:58:18,763 --> 00:58:21,832
- JUST TAKE US
TO SANTA'S PLANTATION.
1074
00:58:26,203 --> 00:58:27,872
WELL, TODAY RINGS ANEW.
1075
00:58:27,905 --> 00:58:31,008
WE GET TO RID THE EARTH
OF A MOTORCYCLE OUTLAW HEATHEN
1076
00:58:31,041 --> 00:58:32,910
AND FULFILL OUR QUOTA.
1077
00:58:32,943 --> 00:58:34,745
HEY, GAR?
1078
00:58:34,779 --> 00:58:38,716
- OUR QUOTA?
FROM HERE ON IN, IT'S MY QUOTA.
1079
00:58:38,749 --> 00:58:42,319
- * GOING DOWN TO WHISPERVILLE *
1080
00:58:42,352 --> 00:58:45,155
* WHERE THE LIVING
LOVE SONGS GROW *
1081
00:58:45,189 --> 00:58:48,292
* THEY BEAT THEIR WINGS
AND WHISPER THINGS *
1082
00:58:48,325 --> 00:58:49,794
* MAN WAS NOT MEANT TO KNOW *
1083
00:58:49,827 --> 00:58:51,095
- ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
1084
00:58:51,128 --> 00:58:52,830
ONCE WE GET
TO SANTA'S PLANTATION
1085
00:58:52,863 --> 00:58:54,240
AND TAKE OUT BIG CHICKEN,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO STAY
1086
00:58:54,264 --> 00:58:55,909
AND HAVE THE BEST TIME
OF OUR LIVES, ALL RIGHT?
1087
00:58:55,933 --> 00:58:58,068
WE'RE GONNA DO THE SNOW GLOBE
EATING CONTEST,
1088
00:58:58,102 --> 00:58:59,804
WE'RE GONNA MAKE CANDY CANES,
1089
00:58:59,837 --> 00:59:01,214
AND I WANT TO REENACT
THE NATIVITY SCENE, ALL RIGHT?
1090
00:59:01,238 --> 00:59:03,340
BECAUSE LAST YEAR,
I MESSED UP REALLY BAD.
1091
00:59:03,373 --> 00:59:04,909
YEAH, I PISSED OFF
ONE OF THE WISE MEN
1092
00:59:04,942 --> 00:59:06,744
AND I ATE THE BABY JESUS, OKAY?
1093
00:59:06,777 --> 00:59:09,747
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY!
1094
00:59:09,780 --> 00:59:10,915
AAH!
1095
00:59:10,948 --> 00:59:13,684
I ALMOST RAN OVER A KID.
1096
00:59:13,718 --> 00:59:15,119
WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME,
RIGHT?
1097
00:59:16,821 --> 00:59:20,024
I GOTTA STOP KILLING PEOPLE.
1098
00:59:21,258 --> 00:59:22,727
FRESH CHERRIES?
1099
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,762
I'M PULLING OVER.
1100
00:59:28,032 --> 00:59:30,167
Narrator: EVEN THOUGH
THEIR DATE WITH BIG CHICKEN
1101
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:33,003
WAS MINUTES AWAY,
VINNY COULDN'T HELP HIMSELF.
1102
00:59:33,037 --> 00:59:36,573
HE'D NEVER HAD SPRING CHERRIES.
1103
00:59:41,378 --> 00:59:44,114
- GARY, PLEASE TALK TO ME.
1104
00:59:44,148 --> 00:59:45,783
WE'RE FRIENDS.
1105
00:59:45,816 --> 00:59:47,317
- OH, REALLY?
1106
00:59:47,351 --> 00:59:49,386
BECAUSE THE COMPUTER
ON YOUR BROTHER'S WHEELCHAIR
1107
00:59:49,419 --> 00:59:51,221
SAID WE'RE ACCOMPLICES.
1108
00:59:51,255 --> 00:59:53,390
AND COMPUTERS DON'T LIE.
- OH, NO, NO.
1109
00:59:53,423 --> 00:59:55,035
ALL OF THAT WAS BASED
ON PSYCHOLOGICAL EXAMS
1110
00:59:55,059 --> 00:59:57,027
THAT WERE DONE YEARS AGO.
1111
00:59:57,061 --> 00:59:59,329
A YEAR AGO.
1112
00:59:59,363 --> 01:00:03,067
OH, GARY.
I THINK THAT MAY BE JARED.
1113
01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:05,202
THE BOY THAT KATELYN
AND BRITTANY WERE SEEKING.
1114
01:00:05,235 --> 01:00:06,236
SEE?
1115
01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:07,805
- OH, NO.
1116
01:00:07,838 --> 01:00:09,774
JARED HAS A HITLER MUSTACHE.
1117
01:00:09,807 --> 01:00:12,109
- NO, NO, NO. VINNY ADDED THAT.
1118
01:00:12,142 --> 01:00:15,179
I THINK IT'S HIM.
1119
01:00:16,881 --> 01:00:18,182
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
1120
01:00:18,215 --> 01:00:19,817
DO YOU HAVE
ANY INFORMATION REGARDING
1121
01:00:19,850 --> 01:00:21,418
THE OWNER OF THAT THERE TRUCK?
1122
01:00:21,451 --> 01:00:25,422
AND WHO'S THE BOY WITH HIM
IN THE FRONT?
1123
01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:27,024
- LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHO YOU ARE,
1124
01:00:27,057 --> 01:00:30,895
BUT PAUL-OF-THE-SHED
AIN'T THE FRIENDLY TYPE.
1125
01:00:30,928 --> 01:00:33,063
SURE DOES LOVE
HIS CHERRIES THOUGH.
1126
01:00:33,097 --> 01:00:35,399
- IS THAT SO?
1127
01:00:35,432 --> 01:00:37,868
THANK YOU, NEIGHBOR.
1128
01:00:41,238 --> 01:00:43,941
WE HAVE TO TAKE HIM OUT.
1129
01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:46,076
- WOW, YOU SEE
THE SIZE OF THAT GUY?
1130
01:00:46,110 --> 01:00:48,913
- HE IS UNUSUALLY LARGE.
1131
01:00:48,946 --> 01:00:52,216
BUT GARY, YOU HAVE
WHAT'S REFERRED TO
1132
01:00:52,249 --> 01:00:56,854
IN MEDICAL TERMS
AS "SUPER RETARD STRENGTH."
1133
01:00:56,887 --> 01:00:58,155
- IT'S TRUE.
1134
01:00:58,188 --> 01:01:00,090
I GET AN ABNORMAL SURGE
OF ADRENALINE
1135
01:01:00,124 --> 01:01:01,458
WHENEVER I GET EMOTIONAL.
1136
01:01:01,491 --> 01:01:05,395
- WELL, THEN. COVER ME.
1137
01:01:07,364 --> 01:01:09,867
MR. OF-THE-SHED,
1138
01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:11,335
YOU'RE HEADED TO HELL, SIR,
1139
01:01:11,368 --> 01:01:12,937
BUT I CAN HELP YOU
GET TO HEAVEN.
1140
01:01:12,970 --> 01:01:15,072
NOPE, I'M AFRAID
I CAN'T LET YOU GO,
1141
01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:16,140
FRIEND!
1142
01:01:17,474 --> 01:01:20,010
- HEY, KIDS. LET'S SING A SONG.
1143
01:01:20,044 --> 01:01:24,348
* TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR *
1144
01:01:24,381 --> 01:01:26,059
narrator: WHETHER IT WAS
THE MISSING JARED OR NOT,
1145
01:01:26,083 --> 01:01:28,285
PAUL-OF-THE-SHED FLED.
1146
01:01:28,318 --> 01:01:31,889
- OKAY, GARY,
YOU GOT YOUR REVENGE ON ME.
1147
01:01:31,922 --> 01:01:35,192
BUT NOW WE NEED
TO GO AFTER THAT DEMON!
1148
01:01:35,225 --> 01:01:38,328
- WHY?
1149
01:01:38,362 --> 01:01:41,498
- GARY, THE MAN
MAY HAVE ABDUCTED A CHILD.
1150
01:01:41,531 --> 01:01:44,401
- I WOULDN'T KILL SOMEONE
'CAUSE OF THAT.
1151
01:01:44,434 --> 01:01:47,304
- THEN WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DOING?
1152
01:01:47,337 --> 01:01:50,207
THE SPRING BREAK OF OUR LIVES,
ANSWERING A CALLING
1153
01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:51,876
TO PROFILE EVIL PEOPLE
AND KILL THEM
1154
01:01:51,909 --> 01:01:53,510
SO THEY GET SAFE PASSAGE
TO HEAVEN.
1155
01:01:53,543 --> 01:01:55,379
COME ON.
1156
01:01:55,412 --> 01:01:57,447
- OUR CALLING
IS TO PROFILE AND KILL
1157
01:01:57,481 --> 01:02:00,184
POTENTIAL TROPHY WINNERS.
1158
01:02:01,485 --> 01:02:04,321
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.
1159
01:02:04,354 --> 01:02:06,090
YOU'RE SAYING YOU WANT
TO KILL PEOPLE
1160
01:02:06,123 --> 01:02:07,500
BASED ON THE FACT
THAT THEY MIGHT PRECIPITATE
1161
01:02:07,524 --> 01:02:10,861
INCREASED TROPHY SALES?
1162
01:02:10,895 --> 01:02:12,496
THEN WHY ON EARTH
ARE YOU PURSUING
1163
01:02:12,529 --> 01:02:14,932
A MURDEROUS CRETIN
LIKE BIG CHICKEN?
1164
01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:17,501
- 'CAUSE IF BIG CHICKEN WINS
THE SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN,
1165
01:02:17,534 --> 01:02:21,405
OUTLAW BIKERS EVERYWHERE
WILL BE PURSUING TROPHIES.
1166
01:02:21,438 --> 01:02:23,440
Narrator: AND WHAT'S
WHEN GREGORY REALIZED
1167
01:02:23,473 --> 01:02:26,811
THAT HE AND THE BUDDIES
HADN'T BEEN KILLING FOR GOD.
1168
01:02:26,844 --> 01:02:29,179
- OH, DEAR ME.
1169
01:02:29,213 --> 01:02:31,949
Narrator: THEY'D BEEN KILLING
TO CURB TROPHY SALES.
1170
01:02:31,982 --> 01:02:34,785
- ALL THIS TIME,
1171
01:02:34,819 --> 01:02:37,487
ALL THOSE INNOCENT...
1172
01:02:37,521 --> 01:02:40,190
THE WORLD
OF THE TROPHY MAKER, HUH?
1173
01:02:40,224 --> 01:02:42,526
THE POWER OF THE TROPHY.
1174
01:02:42,559 --> 01:02:47,431
YOU SCREW TOGETHER
PIECES OF FUCKING PLASTIC!
1175
01:02:47,464 --> 01:02:49,834
- LISA DIDN'T THINK SO.
1176
01:02:49,867 --> 01:02:53,537
- OH, YOU NEVER EVEN MET LISA,
YOU DELUSIONAL TWIT!
1177
01:02:53,570 --> 01:02:57,875
- WHAT ABOUT YOU,
MR. COMMUNITY COLLEGE?
1178
01:02:57,908 --> 01:03:03,280
YOU'RE ONE OF THEM PSYCHO,
BORN-AGAIN, HOLY ROLLERS...
1179
01:03:03,313 --> 01:03:07,784
WHOSE FAMILY HATES HIM.
1180
01:03:11,388 --> 01:03:14,024
- I KNOW ABOUT YOUR PLAN
TO PUT ME AWAY
1181
01:03:14,058 --> 01:03:15,325
IN THE FRONT OFFICE.
1182
01:03:15,359 --> 01:03:17,361
- WELL, SINCE WE'RE ALL
BEING SO OPEN...
1183
01:03:19,496 --> 01:03:23,000
I STOLE YOUR CAR
1184
01:03:23,033 --> 01:03:26,436
SO YOU'D ALL BE FORCED
TO BE MY FRIENDS.
1185
01:03:26,470 --> 01:03:29,406
- WELL, THAT WAS STUPID.
1186
01:03:31,075 --> 01:03:37,047
I FOR ONE, AM INCAPABLE
OF BEING FRIENDS...
1187
01:03:37,081 --> 01:03:39,516
WITH ANYONE.
1188
01:03:39,549 --> 01:03:43,587
ESPECIALLY NOT WITH SOME LOWLY,
1189
01:03:43,620 --> 01:03:47,858
SMALL-MINDED, WAREHOUSE GRUNT,
1190
01:03:47,892 --> 01:03:50,895
TROPHY MAKER.
1191
01:04:08,212 --> 01:04:11,015
OH, YEAH?
1192
01:04:11,048 --> 01:04:15,485
WELL, I HATE REFRESHING
BOXED FRUIT DRINKS!
1193
01:04:15,519 --> 01:04:19,223
THEY'RE GROSS!
1194
01:04:23,260 --> 01:04:27,364
- * DADDY, DADDY,
HOW I LOVE THEE SO *
1195
01:04:27,397 --> 01:04:30,467
* DADDY, DADDY,
DANCIN' TO AND FRO *
1196
01:04:30,500 --> 01:04:32,602
* WILL YOU THINK OF ME, DADDY *
1197
01:04:32,636 --> 01:04:37,507
* WHEN I'M DANCIN' SLOW
1198
01:04:39,076 --> 01:04:40,677
* MOMMY, MOMMY
1199
01:04:40,710 --> 01:04:42,679
* HOW I LOVE THEE SO
1200
01:04:42,712 --> 01:04:46,350
* MOMMY, MOMMY,
DANCIN' TO AND FRO *
1201
01:04:46,383 --> 01:04:49,186
* WILL YOU THINK OF ME, MOMMY *
1202
01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:54,058
* WHEN I'M DANCING SLOW
1203
01:04:54,091 --> 01:04:57,962
* CAN I COUNT ALL THE TEARS *
1204
01:04:57,995 --> 01:05:01,298
* WE COLLECTED
ALL THESE YEARS? *
1205
01:05:01,331 --> 01:05:04,534
* CAN I COUNT 'EM?
1206
01:05:04,568 --> 01:05:06,270
- LOOK AT YOU, MAKING TROPHIES.
1207
01:05:06,303 --> 01:05:07,513
YOU KNOW WHAT TROPHY
YOU COULD WIN?
1208
01:05:07,537 --> 01:05:09,373
"GAYEST JUMPSUIT."
1209
01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:11,341
THAT'S ONE I NEVER WON, PAL.
1210
01:05:11,375 --> 01:05:12,943
YOU LOOK GOOD THOUGH.
1211
01:05:12,977 --> 01:05:17,347
- * DADDY, DADDY,
HOW I LOVE THEE SO *
1212
01:05:17,381 --> 01:05:21,218
* DADDY, DADDY,
WHY'D YOU MAKE ME GO? *
1213
01:05:21,251 --> 01:05:23,553
* DO YOU MISS ME, DADDY?
1214
01:05:23,587 --> 01:05:28,125
* 'CAUSE I MISS YOU SO
1215
01:05:28,158 --> 01:05:31,028
* MOMMY, MOMMY
1216
01:05:31,061 --> 01:05:32,662
* HOW I LOVE THEE SO
1217
01:05:32,696 --> 01:05:36,300
* MOMMY, MOMMY,
WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO? *
1218
01:05:36,333 --> 01:05:38,602
* DO YOU MISS ME, MOMMY?
1219
01:05:38,635 --> 01:05:41,705
* 'CAUSE I MISS YOU SO
1220
01:06:11,301 --> 01:06:14,738
- I'M CRAZY! COME BACK, JACKOFF!
1221
01:06:14,771 --> 01:06:18,008
WHERE THE HELL'S MY BELT?
I TOLD YOU I NEEDED A BELT.
1222
01:06:29,253 --> 01:06:31,221
- HEY, CHIEF.
1223
01:06:31,255 --> 01:06:33,490
MARIA.
1224
01:06:47,471 --> 01:06:50,006
ROOKIE.
1225
01:06:52,309 --> 01:06:55,612
Narrator: IT WAS COCKTAIL HOUR
AT THE VON GEARHARTS.
1226
01:07:02,386 --> 01:07:04,688
- HEY!
1227
01:07:04,721 --> 01:07:10,427
- JUST ANOTHER MOMENT IN TIME
WHEN GREGORY DIDN'T BELONG.
1228
01:07:13,130 --> 01:07:14,398
- YES!
1229
01:07:52,336 --> 01:07:55,439
- * DADDY, DADDY,
NOW I HAVE TO GO *
1230
01:07:55,472 --> 01:07:57,341
* DADDY, DADDY
1231
01:07:57,374 --> 01:07:59,409
* LEAVE YOU AND MY BRO
1232
01:07:59,443 --> 01:08:02,179
* NOW YOU'LL THINK OF ME,
DADDY *
1233
01:08:02,212 --> 01:08:07,184
* WHEN YOU'RE DANCIN' SLOW
1234
01:08:07,217 --> 01:08:11,121
* MOMMY, MOMMY,
I GOTTA LET YOU GO *
1235
01:08:11,155 --> 01:08:15,159
* MOMMY, MOMMY,
IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GROW *
1236
01:08:15,192 --> 01:08:17,461
* PLEASE THINK OF ME, MOMMY *
1237
01:08:17,494 --> 01:08:21,665
* WHEN YOU'RE DANCIN' SLOW
1238
01:08:27,204 --> 01:08:28,505
HELLO, CHIEF.
1239
01:08:29,673 --> 01:08:32,442
- MARIA.
1240
01:08:32,476 --> 01:08:33,516
CHIEF, I NEED TO SEE GARY.
1241
01:08:33,543 --> 01:08:34,811
- HE'S NOT HERE.
1242
01:08:34,844 --> 01:08:40,584
YOU CAN LEAVE A NOTE
ON HIS DESK.
1243
01:08:40,617 --> 01:08:43,920
- "MENTOR."
1244
01:08:43,953 --> 01:08:46,923
"MENTOR,
I'M TAKING OUT BIG CHICKEN,
1245
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,492
"NOT TO CURB
THE TROPHY POPULATION,
1246
01:08:48,525 --> 01:08:50,194
"BUT TO PROVE TO YOU MY VALUE.
1247
01:08:50,227 --> 01:08:52,128
WOOKIE."
1248
01:08:54,231 --> 01:08:56,900
narrator: THE OLD ABANDONED
SANTA'S PLANTATION...
1249
01:08:56,933 --> 01:09:00,904
TOP SECRET HIDEOUT
TO THE DREADED WHITE DEVILS.
1250
01:09:08,812 --> 01:09:10,347
- GARY TAGLER HERE,
1251
01:09:10,380 --> 01:09:11,657
ONCE AGAIN,
IF YOU'RE JUST TUNING IN,
1252
01:09:11,681 --> 01:09:13,683
TWO MORE CHILDREN
HAVE BEEN ABDUCTED,
1253
01:09:13,717 --> 01:09:15,385
BRINGING THE NUMBER
OF MISSING CHILDREN
1254
01:09:15,419 --> 01:09:17,387
IN THE AREA TO THE HUNDREDS.
1255
01:09:17,421 --> 01:09:19,421
POLICE ARE ASKING FOR YOUR HELP.
IF YOU HAVE ANY...
1256
01:09:21,958 --> 01:09:26,230
Narrator: OH, THE WHITE DEVILS
WERE THIRSTY ALL RIGHT,
1257
01:09:26,263 --> 01:09:28,332
BUT FOR A LOT MORE THAN BEER.
1258
01:09:30,867 --> 01:09:32,569
Narrator: ALAS,
GRAHAM HAD FOUND HIMSELF
1259
01:09:32,602 --> 01:09:35,872
CAUGHT IN NONE OTHER
THAN BIG CHICKEN'S TALONS.
1260
01:09:35,905 --> 01:09:41,511
OUTSIDE, GARY TRIED TO SUMMON
HIS SUPER RETARD STRENGTH,
1261
01:09:41,545 --> 01:09:43,913
AND FOR SOME REASON...
1262
01:09:43,947 --> 01:09:44,947
HE COULDN'T.
1263
01:10:01,598 --> 01:10:04,268
YEAH, IT'S GARY.
1264
01:10:04,301 --> 01:10:07,537
I NEED REINFORCEMENTS.
1265
01:10:07,571 --> 01:10:09,373
YEAH.
1266
01:10:13,477 --> 01:10:16,380
- GARY, WAIT!
1267
01:10:18,615 --> 01:10:20,717
I'M SORRY I LIED.
1268
01:10:20,750 --> 01:10:24,754
AND I KNOW WHAT MY BROTHER
SAID WAS RIGHT.
1269
01:10:24,788 --> 01:10:27,557
MY MOTIVATIONS
HAVE BEEN SOLELY BASED
1270
01:10:27,591 --> 01:10:29,459
ON MY NEED FOR ADULATION.
1271
01:10:29,493 --> 01:10:32,762
BUT I'M SORRY FOR WHAT
I SAID ABOUT YOUR CAREER,
1272
01:10:34,464 --> 01:10:36,900
AND ESPECIALLY SORRY
FOR WHAT I SAID ABOUT LISA.
1273
01:10:36,933 --> 01:10:39,336
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER,
1274
01:10:39,369 --> 01:10:43,340
WHETHER IN YOUR MIND OR REALITY,
1275
01:10:43,373 --> 01:10:47,544
IS YOURS TO BE RESPECTED.
1276
01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:50,614
- AND I'M SORRY I SAID
I HATE BOXED FRUIT DRINKS.
1277
01:10:50,647 --> 01:10:52,949
I MEAN, I DID NOT
LIKE THEM AT FIRST,
1278
01:10:52,982 --> 01:10:56,420
BUT NOW I FIND THEM REFRESHING.
1279
01:10:56,453 --> 01:10:59,022
AND HEY, IF YOU'RE HERE,
1280
01:10:59,055 --> 01:11:02,492
MAYBE WHAT YOUR BROTHER
SAID WAS WRONG.
1281
01:11:02,526 --> 01:11:07,464
I MEAN, SOME GUYS
IN WHEELCHAIRS ARE STUPID.
1282
01:11:08,965 --> 01:11:11,501
- IT ISN'T THE TROPHY
THAT MAKES THE MAN.
1283
01:11:11,535 --> 01:11:15,372
IT ISN'T EVEN THE MAN
WHO MAKES THE TROPHY.
1284
01:11:15,405 --> 01:11:19,476
IT'S THE MAN WHO MADE
THE TROPHY.
1285
01:11:21,044 --> 01:11:24,080
- A MAN DOESN'T PUT
HIS TROPHY INTERN IN DANGER.
1286
01:11:24,113 --> 01:11:27,584
- NO.
1287
01:11:27,617 --> 01:11:30,820
HE SAVES HIM.
1288
01:11:30,854 --> 01:11:32,956
SO YOU GET IN THERE
1289
01:11:32,989 --> 01:11:37,594
AND YOU GO AND GET
THOSE TROPHY-MONGER BASTARDS.
1290
01:11:37,627 --> 01:11:39,429
- THAT'S JUST IT.
1291
01:11:39,463 --> 01:11:42,031
MY SUPER RETARD STRENGTH
IS GONE.
1292
01:11:42,065 --> 01:11:43,833
- OH.
1293
01:11:43,867 --> 01:11:48,438
I CAN'T SEEM TO BRING MYSELF
TO POISON THEM EITHER.
1294
01:11:48,472 --> 01:11:50,940
MY GOODNESS, GARY.
1295
01:11:50,974 --> 01:11:56,312
HAVE WE BECOME HUMAN?
1296
01:12:00,617 --> 01:12:03,687
- IT COULDN'T HAVE COME
AT A WORSE TIME.
1297
01:12:03,720 --> 01:12:05,121
- FELLAS!
1298
01:12:05,154 --> 01:12:06,590
THEY'RE GONNA KILL GRAHAM!
1299
01:12:06,623 --> 01:12:08,592
- WE KNOW.
- YEAH.
1300
01:12:08,625 --> 01:12:10,427
- WAIT. HOW DO YOU KNOW?
1301
01:12:12,796 --> 01:12:15,399
YOU KNOW BIG CHICKEN'S
REPUTATION.
1302
01:12:15,432 --> 01:12:17,701
GRAHAM HAD ME DRIVE HIM HERE,
AND I DID.
1303
01:12:17,734 --> 01:12:19,403
I DROPPED HIM OFF AND I LEFT.
1304
01:12:19,436 --> 01:12:23,006
THEN I REALIZED
WE'RE SERIAL BUDDIES,
1305
01:12:23,039 --> 01:12:24,874
AND WE NEED TO STICK TOGETHER.
1306
01:12:24,908 --> 01:12:27,511
AND I HAVE A PLAN
TO FIX EVERYTHING
1307
01:12:27,544 --> 01:12:30,547
IF YOU'LL JUST TRUST ME.
1308
01:12:30,580 --> 01:12:33,717
Narrator: VINNY'S PLAN WAS
TO INFILTRATE THE WHITE DEVILS
1309
01:12:33,750 --> 01:12:35,752
BY POSING AS FELLOW BIKERS.
1310
01:12:35,785 --> 01:12:38,855
UNFORTUNATELY, VINNY DIDN'T
HAVE ANY BIKER CLOTHES,
1311
01:12:38,888 --> 01:12:42,826
BUT HE DID HAVE
A VAN FULL OF S&M GEAR.
1312
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:45,462
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW THIS STUFF EVEN GOT HERE.
1313
01:12:45,495 --> 01:12:46,906
- ALL RIGHT,
ENOUGH DAYDREAMING, YOU GUYS.
1314
01:12:46,930 --> 01:12:49,533
WE GOTTA SAVE ROOK.
1315
01:12:49,566 --> 01:12:52,135
GIVE ME THIS.
1316
01:12:55,138 --> 01:12:56,906
- OH, YES.
1317
01:13:36,112 --> 01:13:39,783
Both: SHH!
1318
01:14:10,847 --> 01:14:14,117
- I'M GONNA ASK YOU
FOR THE LAST TIME.
1319
01:14:14,150 --> 01:14:17,487
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
1320
01:14:17,521 --> 01:14:19,789
- OH!
1321
01:14:19,823 --> 01:14:21,525
WHO ARE THESE CLOWNS?
1322
01:14:24,794 --> 01:14:28,031
Narrator: UNFORTUNATELY,
BIG CHICKEN DIDN'T APPRECIATE
1323
01:14:28,064 --> 01:14:30,166
HIS CLOWN SHOOT
BEING INTERRUPTED.
1324
01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:34,538
- SO THIS...
THIS MUST BE YOUR FRIENDS, HUH?
1325
01:14:34,571 --> 01:14:38,041
- ACTUALLY, WE'RE BROTHERS
IN A RIVAL MOTORCYCLE GANG.
1326
01:14:38,074 --> 01:14:39,876
TELL THEM, GARY.
1327
01:14:39,909 --> 01:14:42,912
- MY INTERN WAS MERELY TRYING
TO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF.
1328
01:14:42,946 --> 01:14:45,549
- AND SO WE'RE HOPING
THAT YOU'LL FORGIVE
1329
01:14:45,582 --> 01:14:46,950
THE WAY JESUS FORGAVE
1330
01:14:46,983 --> 01:14:49,118
THE OUTLAW DONKEY GANGS
OF HIS TIME.
1331
01:14:49,152 --> 01:14:51,655
- WHOEVER YOU ARE,
1332
01:14:51,688 --> 01:14:54,824
I DON'T WANT ANY PROBLEMS, OKAY?
1333
01:14:54,858 --> 01:14:56,726
SO TAKE YOUR "INTERN"
1334
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:59,563
AND JUST BE GRATEFUL
1335
01:14:59,596 --> 01:15:01,965
YOU DIDN'T CATCH UP WITH ME
20 YEARS AGO.
1336
01:15:01,998 --> 01:15:05,268
- THANK YOU.
1337
01:15:05,301 --> 01:15:07,737
- OH.
1338
01:15:07,771 --> 01:15:11,975
PAUL-OF-THE-SHED.
DIRECTOR ON THE SET.
1339
01:15:12,008 --> 01:15:13,643
- WHAT'S THIS?
1340
01:15:13,677 --> 01:15:15,287
- OH, THESE ARE SOME FRUITS.
THEY WERE JUST LEAVING.
1341
01:15:15,311 --> 01:15:17,947
- BULLSHIT!
THESE WERE THE ASSHOLES
1342
01:15:17,981 --> 01:15:21,785
FROM THE CHERRY STAND.
1343
01:15:21,818 --> 01:15:23,787
- THEY'RE TROPHY MAKERS,
BIG CHICKEN!
1344
01:15:23,820 --> 01:15:25,598
THEY CAME HERE TO TRY
AND STOP YOU FROM GETTING
1345
01:15:25,622 --> 01:15:27,791
YOUR BIG TROPHY
AT THE SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN.
1346
01:15:27,824 --> 01:15:29,993
- I KNEW WE COULDN'T TRUST YOU.
1347
01:15:30,026 --> 01:15:31,637
Narrator: GETTING IN THE WAY
OF BIG CHICKEN
1348
01:15:31,661 --> 01:15:33,238
WINNING THAT TROPHY
WAS JUST A DEATH SENTENCE
1349
01:15:33,262 --> 01:15:36,566
WAITING TO BE CARRIED OUT.
1350
01:15:36,600 --> 01:15:38,635
- I'D LOVE TO SEE THE LOOK
ON YOU BOYS' FACE
1351
01:15:38,668 --> 01:15:41,304
WHEN PAUL-OF-THE-SHED'S
KILLING YOU.
1352
01:15:41,337 --> 01:15:43,239
OH, WAIT. I WILL.
1353
01:15:43,272 --> 01:15:46,676
HE'S FILMING IT.
1354
01:15:46,710 --> 01:15:50,614
Narrator: PAUL-OF-THE-SHED
WAS A GIANT CLOWN DIRECTOR.
1355
01:15:50,647 --> 01:15:52,849
WELL, HE WAS 8 FEET TALL.
1356
01:15:52,882 --> 01:15:55,585
PAUL ALSO SHOT CLOWN SNUFF.
1357
01:15:55,619 --> 01:15:57,120
HEY, THAT'S
WHEN YOU MURDER SOMEONE
1358
01:15:57,153 --> 01:15:58,888
IN REAL LIFE AND YOU FILM IT!
1359
01:15:58,922 --> 01:16:03,693
ALL PAUL NEEDED NOW
WAS HIS NEW CLOWNS.
1360
01:16:03,727 --> 01:16:06,696
- WON'T BE LONG NOW,
SERIAL BUDDIES.
1361
01:16:11,300 --> 01:16:14,170
THAT'S A LARGE.
NO SAUCE AND COLD SARDINES.
1362
01:16:14,203 --> 01:16:18,207
- WHERE ARE MY REINFORCEMENTS?
1363
01:16:18,241 --> 01:16:21,077
- I'M SORRY I GOT YOU GUYS
INTO THIS.
1364
01:16:21,110 --> 01:16:23,046
- OH, NO, GRAHAM.
1365
01:16:23,079 --> 01:16:24,848
THIS IS THE LORD'S DOING.
1366
01:16:24,881 --> 01:16:27,884
THE CATHOLIC WAY
OF "SIN NOW, SORRY LATER"
1367
01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:29,919
IS AS MUCH A MYTH
AS THE EASTER BUNNY
1368
01:16:29,953 --> 01:16:33,289
AND ENERGY VAMPIRES.
1369
01:16:38,061 --> 01:16:40,664
- I TOLD YOU
IT WOULDN'T BE LONG.
1370
01:16:40,697 --> 01:16:42,065
- WHAT?
1371
01:16:42,098 --> 01:16:43,266
WHAT?
1372
01:16:43,299 --> 01:16:45,101
- ALL RIGHT,
I AM AN ENERGY VAMPIRE.
1373
01:16:45,134 --> 01:16:47,136
HAPPY NOW?
1374
01:16:48,237 --> 01:16:50,373
- ARE THEY DEAD?
- COMATOSE.
1375
01:16:50,406 --> 01:16:52,175
NORMALLY, I WOULD'VE
TALKED 'EM TO DEATH,
1376
01:16:52,208 --> 01:16:53,910
BUT I'VE CHANGED TOO.
1377
01:16:53,943 --> 01:16:56,279
- WELL, LET'S BUST THIS JOINT.
1378
01:16:56,312 --> 01:16:58,648
- YEAH, WE'RE BUSTING A JOINT.
1379
01:16:58,682 --> 01:17:02,018
- A REAL LIFE ENERGY VAMPIRE.
1380
01:17:02,051 --> 01:17:04,387
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU PULLED IT OFF, VINNY.
1381
01:17:04,420 --> 01:17:06,956
- FELLAS, WE'RE SERIAL BUDDIES.
WE CAN DO ANYTHING.
1382
01:17:06,990 --> 01:17:08,257
NOW LET'S GO DRIVE IN CIRCLES
1383
01:17:08,291 --> 01:17:09,693
AND HAVE ME TALK
AT YOU NOT TO YOU.
1384
01:17:09,726 --> 01:17:10,960
- HEY.
1385
01:17:10,994 --> 01:17:15,732
WHY DON'T YOU JUST STOP
AND TALK AT ME,
1386
01:17:15,765 --> 01:17:17,701
ENERGY VAMPIRE.
1387
01:17:17,734 --> 01:17:20,103
- AAH!
1388
01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:22,005
- GARY'S REINFORCEMENTS
FROM RON-A-ROLL
1389
01:17:22,038 --> 01:17:24,941
FINALLY ARRIVED.
1390
01:17:24,974 --> 01:17:26,776
- YOU KNOW YOU'RE DEAD, RIGHT?
1391
01:17:26,810 --> 01:17:29,412
- OH, ABSOLUTELY.
- PRETTY DEAD.
1392
01:17:29,445 --> 01:17:31,247
- YEAH, WE'RE DONE.
- MM-HMM.
1393
01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:34,383
- UH, CAN I GET A MINUTE?
THANKS!
1394
01:17:35,952 --> 01:17:37,687
YOU KNOW WHAT WE GOTTA DO,
RIGHT?
1395
01:17:37,721 --> 01:17:40,924
- OH, NOT THAT. IT'S INHUMAN.
1396
01:17:40,957 --> 01:17:45,929
- WE'RE DEAD ANYWAYS.
1397
01:17:45,962 --> 01:17:51,968
- WE ARE DEAD. GOOD-BYE, VINNY.
1398
01:17:55,939 --> 01:17:59,275
NOW BITE DOWN.
1399
01:17:59,308 --> 01:18:02,345
IT WILL BE OVER SOON.
1400
01:18:02,378 --> 01:18:05,448
- OH, I'M BORED.
1401
01:18:05,481 --> 01:18:07,483
GET 'EM!
1402
01:18:10,219 --> 01:18:12,097
- * FLOATIN' DOWN THE RIVER
WITH A SATURATED LIVER *
1403
01:18:12,121 --> 01:18:13,866
* AND I WISH I COULD FORGIVE HER
BUT I DO BELIEVE SHE MEANT IT *
1404
01:18:13,890 --> 01:18:14,967
* WHEN SHE TOLD ME
TO FORGET IT *
1405
01:18:14,991 --> 01:18:16,259
* AND I BET SHE WILL REGRET IT
1406
01:18:16,292 --> 01:18:17,302
* WHEN THEY FIND ME
IN THE MORNING *
1407
01:18:17,326 --> 01:18:18,895
* WET AND DROWNED
1408
01:18:18,928 --> 01:18:21,364
* AND THE WORD GETS 'ROUND
1409
01:18:21,397 --> 01:18:23,466
* GOIN' DOWN, GOIN' DOWN *
1410
01:18:23,499 --> 01:18:26,002
* GOIN' DOWN
1411
01:18:26,035 --> 01:18:27,512
* COMING' UP FOR AIR
IT'S PRETTY STUFFY UNDER THERE *
1412
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:28,972
* I'D LIKE TO SAY
I DIDN'T CARE *
1413
01:18:29,005 --> 01:18:30,285
* BUT I FORGOT TO LEAVE A NOTE *
1414
01:18:32,108 --> 01:18:33,810
* I'M SOAKIN' WET
WITHOUT A BOAT *
1415
01:18:33,843 --> 01:18:35,912
* AND I KNEW I SHOULD
HAVE TAKEN OFF MY SHOES *
1416
01:18:35,945 --> 01:18:36,945
* IT'S FRONT PAGE NEWS
1417
01:18:38,281 --> 01:18:43,219
* GOIN' DOWN, GOIN' DOWN *
1418
01:18:57,967 --> 01:18:59,268
* I WISH I HAD ANOTHER DRINK
1419
01:18:59,302 --> 01:19:00,770
* IT WOULDN'T BE
SO HARD TO SINK *
1420
01:19:00,804 --> 01:19:02,114
* I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
TIME TO THINK *
1421
01:19:02,138 --> 01:19:03,415
* BESIDES I GOT
THE PICTURE STRAIGHT *
1422
01:19:03,439 --> 01:19:04,941
* SHE MUST HAVE
HAD ANOTHER DATE *
1423
01:19:04,974 --> 01:19:06,442
* I DIDN'T NEED
THIS EXTRA WEIGHT *
1424
01:19:06,475 --> 01:19:07,987
* I WISH THAT I COULD SEE
THE WAY TO SHORE *
1425
01:19:08,011 --> 01:19:10,113
* I DON'T WANT NO MORE
1426
01:19:10,146 --> 01:19:11,815
- I'M SO SOR...
WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR NOSE?
1427
01:19:11,848 --> 01:19:14,017
OH! I GOT IT!
1428
01:19:14,050 --> 01:19:16,820
I GOT YOUR NOSE! I GOT IT.
1429
01:19:16,853 --> 01:19:18,121
I GOT IT.
1430
01:19:18,154 --> 01:19:19,198
Narrator: JUST WHEN IT LOOKED
1431
01:19:19,222 --> 01:19:23,192
LIKE ALL HOPE WAS LOST...
1432
01:19:30,399 --> 01:19:32,035
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
1433
01:19:32,068 --> 01:19:33,312
I WAS WATCHING RACHAEL RAY
THE OTHER DAY,
1434
01:19:33,336 --> 01:19:36,005
AND SHE MADE
THESE AMAZING SPINACH...
1435
01:19:36,039 --> 01:19:38,441
LIKE, ALMOST, LIKE,
SPINACH LASAGNA ROLLS.
1436
01:19:38,474 --> 01:19:40,476
THEY'RE SO GOOD. OH, MY GOD.
1437
01:19:40,509 --> 01:19:43,246
I'M HAVING A TEA PARTY LATER,
AND I WANT TO INVITE EVERYBODY.
1438
01:19:43,279 --> 01:19:45,448
EVERYBODY HERE CAN COME
TO MY TEA PARTY.
1439
01:19:45,481 --> 01:19:48,852
I'M HAVING
SPANISH SPINACH LASAGNA ROLLS.
1440
01:19:48,885 --> 01:19:52,588
YEAH, SPANISH BECAUSE I'M ALSO
PUTTING JALAPENOS IN THERE.
1441
01:19:52,621 --> 01:19:56,025
WHEN I WAS 13, I FINALLY
WAS LET OUT OF THE INCUBATOR.
1442
01:19:56,059 --> 01:19:57,269
I WAS IN AN INCUBATOR
FOR 13 YEARS,
1443
01:19:57,293 --> 01:19:58,261
AND IT ACTUALLY
WAS KIND OF NICE.
1444
01:19:58,294 --> 01:19:59,528
PEOPLE JUST CAME TO ME,
1445
01:19:59,562 --> 01:20:01,264
AND I GOT TO PLAY
WITH MY OWN STUFF.
1446
01:20:01,297 --> 01:20:05,168
- PITY YOU CAN'T MIME
TAKING GARLIC SUPPLEMENTS.
1447
01:20:05,201 --> 01:20:07,112
- I HATED GYM CLASS, EXCEPT
WHEN IT WAS DODGE BALL DAY,
1448
01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:09,105
'CAUSE THAT WAS THE ONLY DAY
WE GET TO HIT GIRLS.
1449
01:20:09,138 --> 01:20:10,940
AND MY BEST FRIEND ANTHONY
USED TO HAVE
1450
01:20:10,974 --> 01:20:13,052
A LITTLE SUPER SOAKER FOR ME,
AND WE WOULD PLAY ALL THE TIME.
1451
01:20:13,076 --> 01:20:14,086
AND HE'D INVITE ME OVER
TO HIS HOUSE
1452
01:20:14,110 --> 01:20:15,444
AND WE'D GO SWIMMING.
1453
01:20:15,478 --> 01:20:16,555
WELL, I'D GO TO HIS HOUSE
AND GO SWIMMING.
1454
01:20:16,579 --> 01:20:18,381
HE WASN'T THERE.
1455
01:20:18,414 --> 01:20:20,192
HE REALLY DIDN'T KNOW
I WENT SWIMMING AT HIS HOUSE.
1456
01:20:20,216 --> 01:20:24,287
- HE'S GONE FULL ENERGY VAMPIRE.
1457
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:26,289
- I GOT TO GO AFTER BIG CHICKEN.
1458
01:20:26,322 --> 01:20:28,958
YOU GOT THE BALL, ROOK.
1459
01:20:28,992 --> 01:20:30,526
- OH, MAN.
HIGH SCHOOL WAS THE BEST.
1460
01:20:30,559 --> 01:20:32,371
THERE WAS THIS ONE DAY THAT
I FORGOT MY LUNCH AT HOME.
1461
01:20:32,395 --> 01:20:34,864
LUCKILY, MY BIOLOGY TEACHER
WAS LIKE, "HEY, GUYS.
1462
01:20:34,898 --> 01:20:36,465
HERE'S SOME FROGS."
1463
01:20:36,499 --> 01:20:38,077
AND EVERYBODY STARTED CUTTING
THEM AND I JUST WAS LIKE,
1464
01:20:38,101 --> 01:20:39,969
"NAH, I JUST LIKE
TO EAT THINGS WHOLE."
1465
01:20:40,003 --> 01:20:41,637
SO I PICKED UP MY FROG
AND I ATE IT.
1466
01:20:41,670 --> 01:20:43,873
THEY CALL IT "DISSECTING,"
1467
01:20:43,907 --> 01:20:46,409
WHICH IS I THINK IS
THE JEWISH WORD FOR "FEEDING."
1468
01:20:46,442 --> 01:20:51,047
- GOING SOMEWHERE?
1469
01:20:52,515 --> 01:20:55,084
- SO WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?
1470
01:20:55,118 --> 01:20:58,354
ME OR YOUR FRIEND?
1471
01:20:58,387 --> 01:21:01,925
- ROOKIE!
1472
01:21:01,958 --> 01:21:04,093
- HAVE A NICE DAY.
1473
01:21:10,133 --> 01:21:14,437
Narrator: BUT IN THE END,
IT ALL CAME DOWN TO GARY.
1474
01:21:18,975 --> 01:21:22,979
- WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE,
ROOKIE.
1475
01:21:25,248 --> 01:21:27,416
GO.
1476
01:21:33,689 --> 01:21:35,058
- MENTOR!
1477
01:22:00,716 --> 01:22:05,054
- ROOK, IT'S KRAVELLO.
1478
01:22:05,088 --> 01:22:06,365
WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID TO THE KID?
1479
01:22:06,389 --> 01:22:08,624
SAME THING ROCKY BALBOA
SAID TO HIS KID.
1480
01:22:08,657 --> 01:22:10,093
"IT AIN'T HOW HARD YOU CAN HIT.
1481
01:22:10,126 --> 01:22:11,303
"IT'S HOW HARD YOU CAN GET HIT
1482
01:22:11,327 --> 01:22:12,495
"AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD.
1483
01:22:12,528 --> 01:22:14,530
"HOW MUCH YOU CAN TAKE
1484
01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:18,034
AND KEEP MOVING FORWARD."
1485
01:22:18,067 --> 01:22:19,435
GET UP, GARY!
1486
01:22:38,587 --> 01:22:41,757
- I MUST BREAK YOU.
1487
01:22:41,790 --> 01:22:44,393
- GO FOR IT.
1488
01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:49,232
- HEY, GUYS! WE DID IT!
1489
01:22:49,265 --> 01:22:51,234
- OH, YOU THINK SO, HUH?
1490
01:22:51,267 --> 01:22:55,371
WELL, WHERE ARE YOUR TWO BUDDIES
NOW, HUH, ENERGY VAMPIRE?
1491
01:22:55,404 --> 01:22:58,007
- THEY'RE IN THE SHED WITH PAUL.
1492
01:22:58,041 --> 01:23:00,109
OR THEIR BODIES ARE ANYHOW.
1493
01:23:06,349 --> 01:23:12,355
- * WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
1494
01:23:23,132 --> 01:23:24,667
- IT AIN'T HOW HARD YOU CAN HIT.
1495
01:23:24,700 --> 01:23:26,702
IT'S HOW HARD YOU CAN GET HIT.
1496
01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:39,515
- MENTOR GOT HIS SUPER RETARD
STRENGTH BACK.
1497
01:23:39,548 --> 01:23:41,684
- HOW? YOU THOUGHT ABOUT LISA?
1498
01:23:41,717 --> 01:23:44,153
OH, MR. TROPHY.
1499
01:23:44,187 --> 01:23:48,824
- ACTUALLY, I JUST THOUGHT
ABOUT HOW HE HURT MY FRIENDS.
1500
01:23:58,834 --> 01:24:00,469
- IT'S JARED
AND THE MISSING KIDS.
1501
01:24:04,807 --> 01:24:07,776
- WHO RAISED THESE BRATS?
1502
01:24:07,810 --> 01:24:10,646
- THIS IS WHY
I HATE ABDUCTED CHILDREN.
1503
01:24:10,679 --> 01:24:13,649
THEY'RE SO INCONSIDERATE.
1504
01:24:13,682 --> 01:24:16,852
DELINQUENTS!
1505
01:24:16,885 --> 01:24:18,721
- I'M EMILY FRANCES
LIVE ON THE SCENE,
1506
01:24:18,754 --> 01:24:21,290
AND POLICE ARE EN ROUTE
AS WE SPEAK.
1507
01:24:21,324 --> 01:24:23,526
IT'S A BIZARRE
AND INSIDIOUS SCHEME.
1508
01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:26,229
MOTORCYCLE OUTLAW
RALPH "BIG CHICKEN" MORELLI
1509
01:24:26,262 --> 01:24:29,865
WAS ABDUCTING CHILDREN
TO USE AS SLAVE LABOR
1510
01:24:29,898 --> 01:24:31,734
TO BUILD TOYS, OF ALL THINGS.
1511
01:24:31,767 --> 01:24:35,304
WELL, IT TURNS OUT
THE ALLEGED PLAN
1512
01:24:35,338 --> 01:24:36,839
WAS TO MAKE ENOUGH TOYS TO WIN
1513
01:24:36,872 --> 01:24:40,176
THE SPRINGLE BELL TOY RUN
TROPHY.
1514
01:24:40,209 --> 01:24:42,645
A $200,000 REWARD WAS OFFERED.
1515
01:24:42,678 --> 01:24:44,647
- HMM. THOUGHTS?
1516
01:24:44,680 --> 01:24:46,715
IT IS JARED.
1517
01:24:46,749 --> 01:24:48,151
- YEAH, I THINK THIS LOOK
1518
01:24:48,184 --> 01:24:49,685
REALLY WORKS ON HIM. - YEAH.
1519
01:24:49,718 --> 01:24:52,455
- OKAY, WE'RE DONE HERE.
I SAID GO.
1520
01:24:52,488 --> 01:24:54,490
KIDS.
1521
01:24:54,523 --> 01:24:57,360
- GREGORY, YOU WANT TO DO
THIS INTERVIEW WITH ME?
1522
01:24:57,393 --> 01:24:58,861
- WELL, THANK YOU, FRIEND,
1523
01:24:58,894 --> 01:25:03,666
BUT I NO LONGER
REQUIRE THE ADULATION.
1524
01:25:03,699 --> 01:25:07,303
BESIDES, YOU LIKE WORKING ALONE.
1525
01:25:18,747 --> 01:25:20,549
- HELLO.
- HELLO.
1526
01:25:20,583 --> 01:25:23,386
WITH ME NOW IS...
IS A TRUE AMERICAN HERO.
1527
01:25:23,419 --> 01:25:26,455
THIS MAN SINGLE-HANDEDLY
SAVED DOZENS OF LIVES.
1528
01:25:26,489 --> 01:25:28,257
HOW DID YOU DO IT?
1529
01:25:28,291 --> 01:25:30,826
- UH, WELL,
IT WASN'T SINGLE-HANDEDLY.
1530
01:25:30,859 --> 01:25:34,863
I HAD HELP FROM
MY NEW PARTNER, GRAHAM.
1531
01:25:34,897 --> 01:25:36,765
- GARY AND GRAHAM,
1532
01:25:36,799 --> 01:25:39,835
WHAT MESSAGE WOULD YOU CONVEY
TO THE RESCUED CHILDREN,
1533
01:25:39,868 --> 01:25:42,305
THEIR PARENTS,
AND EVERYONE ELSE WATCHING?
1534
01:25:43,706 --> 01:25:45,841
- PLEASE MAKE MR. TROPHY
1535
01:25:45,874 --> 01:25:48,211
YOUR NUMBER ONE CHOICE
IN AWARDS.
1536
01:25:48,244 --> 01:25:51,914
- MR. TROPHY, PROUDLY SERVICING
1537
01:25:51,947 --> 01:25:57,220
YOUR PLAQUE, MEDAL, RIBBON,
AND TROPHY-WINNING NEEDS.
1538
01:26:06,329 --> 01:26:09,365
- WHOO!
1539
01:26:17,306 --> 01:26:18,441
- HELP!
1540
01:26:18,474 --> 01:26:19,474
MOMMY, MOMMY. HELP!
1541
01:26:35,591 --> 01:26:37,860
Narrator: TURNED OUT
THE BUDDIES WERE RIGHT.
1542
01:26:37,893 --> 01:26:41,464
IT WAS TRULY
THE BEST SPRING BREAK EVER.
1543
01:27:20,403 --> 01:27:22,838
- THE LAWN MOVER REALLY HELPS.
1544
01:27:29,712 --> 01:27:30,979
* I GO TO WORK
1545
01:27:31,013 --> 01:27:33,282
* ALTHOUGH I HATE MY JOB
1546
01:27:33,316 --> 01:27:35,784
* BUT HATING YOUR JOB
1547
01:27:35,818 --> 01:27:41,790
* IS BETTER THAN NO JOB AT ALL *
1548
01:27:41,824 --> 01:27:43,726
* I WANT AN iPOD
1549
01:27:43,759 --> 01:27:45,628
* 'CAUSE I THINK THEY'RE COOL *
1550
01:27:45,661 --> 01:27:47,863
* BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT
1551
01:27:47,896 --> 01:27:51,967
* I CAN'T AFFORD THINGS
THAT ARE COOL *
1552
01:27:54,069 --> 01:27:57,005
* I WANNA WORK TOWARD
1553
01:27:57,039 --> 01:28:01,777
* A BETTER ME
1554
01:28:01,810 --> 01:28:07,550
* BUT CHANGE
TAKES TOO MUCH ENERGY *
1555
01:28:07,583 --> 01:28:09,785
* SO WHY TRY?
1556
01:28:09,818 --> 01:28:11,987
* IT'S TOO HARD TO TRY
1557
01:28:12,020 --> 01:28:13,856
* SO WHY TRY?
1558
01:28:13,889 --> 01:28:16,925
* WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
1559
01:28:20,696 --> 01:28:22,565
* I GOT TWO FRIENDS
1560
01:28:22,598 --> 01:28:24,733
* AND THEY'RE KINDA BORING
1561
01:28:24,767 --> 01:28:26,735
* BUT I'M KINDA BORING
1562
01:28:26,769 --> 01:28:30,406
* I GUESS THAT'S WHY
I HAVE BORING FRIENDS *
1563
01:28:32,775 --> 01:28:34,777
* I WANNA BE FUNNY
1564
01:28:34,810 --> 01:28:37,112
* LIKE THOSE GUYS ON TV
1565
01:28:37,145 --> 01:28:38,914
* WHEN I PULL DOWN MY PANTS *
1566
01:28:38,947 --> 01:28:42,718
* MY MOM DOESN'T LAUGH
AT MY JOKES *
1567
01:28:45,588 --> 01:28:48,357
* I WANNA WORK TOWARD
1568
01:28:48,391 --> 01:28:52,928
* A BETTER ME
1569
01:28:52,961 --> 01:28:58,934
* BUT CHANGE
TAKES TOO MUCH ENERGY *
1570
01:28:58,967 --> 01:29:01,537
* SO WHY TRY?
1571
01:29:01,570 --> 01:29:03,872
* IT'S TOO HARD TO TRY
1572
01:29:03,906 --> 01:29:06,141
* WHY TRY?
1573
01:29:06,174 --> 01:29:08,477
* WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
1574
01:29:36,171 --> 01:29:37,706
* GIRLS ARE REAL CUTE
1575
01:29:37,740 --> 01:29:39,908
* BUT I CAN'T TALK TO GIRLS
1576
01:29:39,942 --> 01:29:42,110
* I GET REALLY SCARED
1577
01:29:42,144 --> 01:29:46,515
* THE PRIEST
EVEN TOLD ME I'M GAY *
1578
01:29:48,150 --> 01:29:50,486
* I PROBABLY SHOULD SHOWER
1579
01:29:50,519 --> 01:29:52,488
* GOT WORK IN AN HOUR
1580
01:29:52,521 --> 01:29:54,423
* TO PAY FOR MY POWER
1581
01:29:54,457 --> 01:29:58,093
* I'D PROBABLY GET FIRED AGAIN *
1582
01:29:58,126 --> 01:30:00,496
* SO WHY TRY?
1583
01:30:00,529 --> 01:30:02,498
* IT'S TOO HARD TO TRY
1584
01:30:02,531 --> 01:30:04,500
* WHY TRY?
1585
01:30:04,533 --> 01:30:06,034
* WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
1586
01:30:06,068 --> 01:30:08,737
* SO WHY TRY?
1587
01:30:08,771 --> 01:30:12,775
* EVERYONE LISTENING TO THIS
WILL DIE *
1588
01:30:12,799 --> 01:30:15,799
Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk)
www.opensubtitles.org
111675
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