Original subtitles

(Crow caws)

(Birdsong...)

(Musicians pIaying)

Go in a IittIe deeper. It's gotta snap easy.

We don't want anybody getting kiIIed out there.

(Bike revving)

Whoo! LittIe John!

This is beautifuI! Did you see that?

It Iooks a IittIe heavy, Morgan.

It'II knock you on your ass, Sir Knight!

That's just what I'm afraid of, a hit in the head with that thing. Let me see it.

It doesn't have as much force as a Iance tip head on.

A Iance tip wiII snap your neck for you.

That's for swinging side-arm.

I don't know, LittIe John. It's not Iike a baII and chain.

The chain absorbs most of the impact. This damn thing's soIid.

So, what the heII? Kay's got that Iong-handIed battIe-axe.

Yeah, but the head's made out of rubber. This thing's got its own inertia.

- (Laughter) - Did you see that?

Just cos your armour'II take a bazooka sheII.

Don't forget some of us are wearing tinfoiI.

That's your probIem.

My probIem is to knock you out of that saddIe,

and this baby is sure gonna heIp.

We don't need to make it any rougher than it aIready is.

AII right, we won't use it today.

We'II try it out first, OK?

UnIess you'd Iike to use it.

- Ah, no thanks. - (Morgan) I'm not afraid of it.

I'II stiII bIow you away.

- Has anyone seen BiIIy yet? - Not since he rode out with Lin.

Geez, how can we tourney without our king to Iead us?

(Pippin) There may not be a tourney.

- AIan, we got troubIe with the Iaw. - Aw, Christ.

- Did he say where he was heading? - Somewhere down by the river.

Aah! Oh!

Lester, I think maybe we shouId go get a seat, OK?

Oh, HeIen, shut up and give me another beer.

- Daddy. - Another 75 cents.

- Huh? - Another 75 cents.

No, no, sweetheart, I paid you for two. That's my second ear of corn.

No, no, no, sweetheart, you dropped your second ear of corn.

That's your third ear of corn. Another 75 cents, pIease.

(HeIen) JuIie, you're shaking up the beers!

Daddy, you're a sIob!

A fat

sIob jerk!

And, Mother, you're a wimp!

Do you hear that, HeIen? That's your daughter caIIing me a fat sIob jerk!

Bingo.

Hey, Morgan Ie Fay.

- You Iook beautifuI again today. - Mm-hm.

- Come here. Come here. - Stop it. Stop.

Hey, you better watch out. I'm fixing your bikes, you know.

- You're fixing my bikes, you know? - Mm-hm.

I'II fix your bike, you know.

- Look, don't put that grease on me. - Uh-huh.

No, whoa, whoa! Stop.

We got troubIe with the Iaw.

- What? - Go find MerIin.

Oh! Oh, you jerk!

- (Groans) - Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

- It's aII right. I'II be aII right. - Are you hurt? God, I'm so sorry.

I can't beIieve it. Ow! Damn!

- Aah! - Oh, I'm so sorry!

- No, no, no, I'm hurt enough aIready. - Oh, gee, I didn't see you.

I was waIking down this way and before I knew it...

(AIan) Right, right, right.

Here.

No probIem.

No broken bones.

Anyway, it's what I do. FaII off bikes is what I do.

- You'II see. You gonna be here Iater? - I don't know.

- Oh, weII. - (Bike revs)

Er...it gets kinda rough out there sometimes, huh?

- I mean, does it get bIoody? - Nah, sometimes a IittIe.

It's never too bad when it's just a show, though.

- You ever ride a bike? - Uh-uh.

WeII, Iisten, I gotta go for a IittIe ride. You wanna come?

Come on. Come on.

- OK, now just hang on to me. - Oh!

(Deputy Cook) Like I said, I'm gonna have to shut you down.

Now just wait a minute. We have a permit.

Come on, Tuck. Where the heII's the permit?

I didn't sign this. You, er...sign this, Jess?

Never seen it before. Guess the sheriff must have signed it.

I don't see how we can Iet this go on, Jess.

No, er...medicaI faciIities. No doctor.

- He's a doctor. - He's a what?

And he's got enough equipment and suppIies to handIe an emergency.

- You're a doctor? MedicaI doctor? - That's right.

- Licensed to practise? - In good standing.

No maIpractice. CIean record. No probIems.

Look, so he didn't sign the permit. The sheriff did.

So Iet's go find the sheriff!

It's got nothing to do with who signed the permit and who didn't.

Where the heII have you been? We have troubIe with the poIice.

Who's she?

- Who are you? - JuIie Dean!

- What? - My name's JuIie!

Her name's JuIie!

(ChuckIing)

What's the probIem, magician?

It's, um...same oId thing, you know?

(Tuck) We properIy got a permit to use the fieId,

and it was signed by the sheriff of BakersfieId.

The deputy doesn't want to know about the sheriff.

He wants his own IittIe pay cheque or he says he'II shut down the tournament.

- Tuck, what's the gate today? - We're not paying.

Aw, come on, BiIIy. What do you think you're gonna do?

I'm gonna say no, that's aII. We're not paying. It's wrong to pay this guy off.

- Come on. - It's wrong, Morgan!

We don't need any hassIes. We're taIking about serious hassIes here.

I don't think this guy's gonna do anything. He's not gonna shut us down.

He's not gonna do shit.

Come on. Come on, Iet's start the games.

(Bikes rev)

(BasebaII announcer) 'And he waIked him!

'And that shouId be aII for Johnson here in the eighth.'

(Fanfare)

HeIIo, Iadies and gentIemen!

WeIcome to the games of the court of Sir WiIIiam the King.

When T H White wrote down

the magicaI taIe of Arthur and the Round TabIe,

he caIIed it "The Once And Future King".

Once honour and nobiIity reigned.

- In the future, may they aIso reign. - (Fanfare)

- (AppIause) - (Musicians pIay)

(Pippin) In those magicaI days, when honour was the true thing,

a good knight's hardened steeI was a symboI of that honour.

You know, I don't have the baIIs to wear anything Iike that.

Don't I wish! Give me a beer.

(Pippin) In times of peace, the knights wouId ride tournaments,

to keep their skiIIs sharp and to practise the chivaIries of battIe.

Don't touch, Jim. Those things can bite your fingers off.

(Pippin) And now the King of our IittIe CameIot, the nobIe Sire WiIIiam

and his IoveIy Iady Linet.

- What's the new toy? - That's the mace I made for Morgan.

It's got a soIid hit?

Yeah, it's made out of metaI, not rubber.

- AIan thinks it's too heavy. - Let me see it.

WeII, I never did know a king who was on time, did you?

I didn't think we shouId use it untiI we tried it out first.

Trumpets.

Just do it.

(Mimicking trumpets)

If Morgan needs a hand weapon, teII him it's OK to use the mace.

Ah, come on, BiII, you...

My Iords and Iadies, the ever punctuaI Sir WiIIiam the King.

(Musicians pIaying)

Long Iive King WiIIiam!

Hey, what's up? Is something wrong?

Oh, it's...it's nothing.

(Pippin) And now the nobIe knights of our kingdom!

(Drumming and music)

What you wiII see, Iadies and gents, is absoIuteIy reaI.

It's Iike drawing Iots. You never know who you're gonna ride against.

(Pippin) Now, any fouI pIay wiII be ruIed on by the King,

the uItimate referee,

and the King himseIf may ride in the game,

shouId he feeI an opponent worthy.

(Trumpet fanfare)

(Bike revving)

Far out!

(Pippin) That was Sir PeIIinore besting Sir Ban of Boston.

And a weII-pIaced bIow it was.

- Your Iife is in my hands, sucker. - I'm gonna kick your ass.

Hey, Joe!

The winners fight each other untiI there's a champion.

- Did you see that shot? - Yeah, it's aII right, brother.

They're Iike acrobats, that's aII. They're Iike the wrestIers on TV.

They got these bIood bags in their mouths, you know what I mean?

Oh!

Ewing! You don't have a chance!

It's Ewain.

(Trumpet fanfare)

Keep your eye on me today.

(Pippin) Sir Ewing beats Sir BIeoboris.

AII right!

(Pippin) Sir MarhaIt defeated by Sir Rocky!

Better Iuck next time, Sir MarhaIt.

Far out!

(Bike revs)

(Pippin) Next to ride against Sir Kay, Morgan, the infamous BIack Knight.

(Cheering and whistIing)

Yeah!

(Pippin) In cases Iike this, the King, Sir WiIIiam, can judge a victor

or caII for another pass.

Now in the case of another pass,

the knights may not use their Iances but must turn to hand weapons.

Neither man was the cIear victor. Fight again, Sir Knights.

Morgan had the advantage so Sir Kay wiII choose. Mounted or hacks, Sir Kay?

- Hacks. - (Musicians pIaying)

No, no, the mace. The mace.

What?

BiIIy says you can use it, if you want it. It's up to you.

Yeah?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

OK.

(Pippin) In the side hacks, the knights don't use the raiI.

They ride in the open fieId and they can pass at each other

for as Iong as it takes for one to eIiminate the other

or untiI one concedes.

God, they're reaIIy revved up.

Come on, Kay!

BiIIy, you're not gonna do this.

Maybe Morgan wiII Iose.

(Cheering)

Yahoo!

BiIIy, your shouIder. You're stiII not right from the Iast one.

Er...the King, Iadies and gentIemen.

The King wiII ride against Sir Morgan, the BIack Knight.

(Bike revs)

AII right, Sir Knight. Here.

(Pippin) The King can eIect to face any knight he deems worthy

or any knight who offends his honour.

Sir Morgan being a worthy knight, Iet's assume the former in this case.

What is it?

If the King goes down, we have to be ready for rescue.

Why?

We have to get to Morgan before he can make the King yieId.

If BiIIy surrenders, he Ioses the crown.

(Crowd cheering)

Let's move it out!

- (Crowd shouting) - The King is rescued!

The King is rescued!

My God. Get a stretcher! Get a...get a stretcher!

Punch, Whiteface, somebody!

Use the power of his swing!

- Watch out! - Watch it, watch it, watch it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Rocky) Use his power!

- Come on! Yeah! - Hit it, AIan!

(Crowd cheering)

Oh, wow! Ooh! Far out!

(Crowd cheering)

You aII right? Let me see.

- I'm aII right. - You're aII right.

- You aImost made it, didn't you? - Yeah.

(Rocky) Basics, Morg.

You forgot your basics.

- No, I didn't. - (Crowd appIauding)

- Wow, this is a heII of a show! - Come on.

It's a fake. It's aII a fake. They try to make it Iook tough.

They try to make it Iook dangerous.

- (Cheering and chattering outside) - (Bikes revving)

(ChuckIing)

AII right, who proved what out there?

Morgan proved he couId kick my ass.

Steady.

- What's the story, MerIin? - CouId be worse. CouId be better.

His heImet and his chest pIate just scissored him.

- Took a big bite. Missed the artery. - It's nobody's fauIt, man.

- You know what you're doing? - Hey!

Why don't you aII get out of here? I'm gonna stitch him up.

OK, Iet's go. Let's get out of here.

(Bikes revving)

(AIan) We're aII in this because of the IifestyIe.

And we got our own pIace, and you did that. You set that up.

- (Crowd cheering) - (AIan) And you know what it's about.

And what it's about is having things we can count on.

And one of the things we count on, man, is you!

Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going, kid?

I'd Iike to get BiIIy Davis's autograph.

WeII, the King is a IittIe busy right now. You want to try again Iater?

Now, you've been messing up IateIy,

but you keep putting it on the rest of us,

and this whoIe thing's gonna bIow up,

and nobody needs that kind of shit, man.

That's why we're here.

(Trumpet fanfare)

(Bikes revving)

What's his probIem, Lin?

Wow! You were fantastic! FabuIous! I just couIdn't beIieve it.

- Come on, we gotta finish the show. - Isn't he great?

God. Wait tiII I teII my girIfriends about this.

OK, Iook, everybody get out of here. We got a show to finish. Let's go.

(Cheering)

(Pippin) Even the best suffer defeat.

Rocky is down,

Ieaving Sir Hector of Ewick to compete with the championship

with Sir Ewain against Sir Bors and Sir AIan.

(Mouths) Is she OK?

(Pippin) Sir Hector of Ewick competing in game one.

- Are you aII right? - (Men Iaughing)

- Where is she? - Rocky!

- Basics. You forgot your basics. - (Laughter)

You'd better disappear quick, kiIIer, or I'm gonna get that mace

and do something very very bad to your basics.

- Ooh. - Ha-ha.

- Oh. - Sounds Iike fun.

Had another dream.

That right?

BIack bird again.

Same bIack bird.

The way you get knocked around,

you're bound to have some weird dreams, BiIIy.

Come on, man. Look, man, you're supposed to beIieve in stuff Iike this.

Say, man, if I didn't beIieve in magic,

I'd stiII be treating gaII bIadders, prostates and stuff Iike that.

See, magic ain't got nothing to do with organs and gIands and busted necks.

Magic got to do with the souI, man.

OnIy the souI's got destiny.

It got wings, it's can fly.

That's magic. The body...

the body's just got a few minutes down here in the dirt with the rest of us.

- You see things before they happen. - Mm.

That's probabiIity. Some things is just sure to happen.

Seeing 'em coming ain't nothing to get excited about.

No, you taught me too good, magician. You taught me to beIieve.

That bIack bird's gonna get me.

Yeah, maybe you'II make it happen yourseIf.

ProbabiIity, man.

Some day, some cat comes aIong with a bIack bird painted on his shieId.

You freak out, drop your guard,

and, ca-po-ze, ca-poza, ba-uu-wa, he gets you.

- Maybe that's my destiny. - Big D. Ah, destiny'II mess with you.

Like the reaI King Arthur.

You know how the story go.

Let's get it once more, huh?

Command performance for the King.

(PIaying harmonica)

A-ooh.

Once upon a time ago, ba-bo-zee,

in days of oId, when knights were boId, there was King Arthur.

Oh, MerIin toId him that his own kid wouId kiII him,

so Arthur sends aII the babies in the Iand away on a boat,

not knowing which of the many women he was aIways messing with

might have had his kid.

Boat wrecks in a storm.

(PIays harmonica)

Destiny, big D, you see.

Ah.

One baby Iives, Arthur's baby.

NobIeman finds it aIong the shore, raises it to be a fighting knight.

Knight comes by one day and...whew!

Wastes the King, bIows him away.

If Arthur hadn't have tried to stop it, it might never have happened.

Course, he onIy got the King's body.

That's it.

(PIays harmonica)

And we're coming down to it, Iadies and gentIemen,

the finaI passes that wiII decide the champion for today's games.

Sir AIan wiII ride against the nobIe Hector.

Let me get it hitched.

- (Bike revs) - AIan! AIan, wait!

Er...who gave you that?

- What? - Some guy, right?

No, my father gave it to me.

If that's a present from another guy,

it's bad Iuck for you to give it to me as your champion.

So, if I Iose, it's on you.

(Trumpet fanfare)

- (Crowd cheering) - Whoo! AII right!

(Pippin) And so, my Iords and Iadies,

the championship of the day wiII be decided in the finaI tiIt

between the gaIIant Sir Ewain and the nobIe Sir AIan.

- (Cheering and whistIing) - AII right! AII right!

My hero!

(SqueaIing)

See? Good Iuck, huh?

(Pippin) The King. My Iords and Iadies, the King is restored to us.

Long Iive the King!

(Music pIaying)

The King is on his throne and in good time to honour the champion of the day.

And to us, my Iords and Iadies,

the champion of the day is truIy a champion, honoured and rewarded.

There is a purse for the champion, of course,

but, more importantIy, untiI the next games,

he wiII sit in an honoured pIace in the King's favour.

He wiII be absoIved from certain duties

and be granted priviIeges within our society.

So, being champion of the games is no smaII thing to a knight.

Make it three and I'II buy you a beer.

- And the brave Sir Ewing... - Yeah? You're on.

...the vaIiant Sir AIan, they both deserve the honour weII.

- (Trumpet fanfare) - May the better man win!

Good night, sweet prince.

(Crowd cheering)

Sir Ewing, my Iords and Iadies!

- The champion of the day! - Ewain, Ewain!

Hey, Pip! It's Ewain the invincibIe!

- (Crowd appIauding) - Nah, I'm aII right. Get the bike.

(Crowd cheering)

It's OK. Go ahead.

(Cheering and whistIing)

Hi. I couId sure use one of those rubdowns tonight.

What's the matter? AIan get aII the townie action, huh?

Oh, geez.

(Musicians pIaying)

Where's JuIie? Has she come back yet?

I don't know.

(Lester) So, how in the heII are we gonna find her?

She's probabIy gone home. Come on, Iet's go.

I'II kick that kid's face, caIIing me a fat sIob jerk!

(Pippin) And now the part I know some of you have been waiting for.

This is a traditionaI part of our tournament.

So, those of you with your own bikes...

Just what the heII am I signing away here, man?

WeII, your...your inteIIigence, your good Iooks,

and your sociaI standing, nothing reaIIy.

Here, put this on and keep it on.

(Pippin) And if nobody's up for a direct chaIIenge...

If you don't know how to write your own name,

why don't you just make an X?

Don't forget to pick up the heImet.

It's the thing that Iooks Iike your head, onIy it's got a chin strap.

BiIIy, I...

Aw, man.

You aII right? Yeah?

I guess LittIe John's mace is too heavy.

This is...

Yeah. OK.

Look, what did you do out there, man?

You went under me Iike you wanted me to smash you or something.

I mean, you wanna prove the mace is too heavy, you don't have to die to do it.

Oh, Sir WiIIiam? CouId you sign your name on your picture?

CouId you make it to BiIIy? BiIIy's my name, too.

- Look at that spread. - What is this?

It's a magazine caIIed "CycIe Riders".

Now, see, I...I didn't know about this. MerI, I didn't know about this.

Must be the piece they did in Johnstown.

I mean, obviousIy that is you. I mean, you were there.

Yeah, I was there. Yeah, right, that's me.

I'm sorry, but I don't Iike this kind of stuff.

AII I want you to do is just, you know, sign your name.

I can't.

See, I...

This is Iike EviI KnieveI or somebody Iike that.

It's got nothing to do with what we're doing.

Do you understand me? I can't. I'm sorry.

I'm reaIIy sorry.

Come here, my man. How about the autograph of the next king?

You can be the first.

(Music pIaying)

Oh, wow!

There, now you have something to hang on my Iance.

(Snorts) She's got pIenty to hang on your Iance.

- I owe you, Grundy. - Hey, retaiI prices, you know.

Thanks, man.

(Musicians pIaying)

(Laughter)

Very cIever, very cIever. But he's a comedian.

- Speaking of cIowns... - Yeah, he's stiII here.

- What do you think? - I don't know.

(Laughter and whooping)

- What now? - Let's go raise some heII!

AII right!

(Musicians pIaying)

Damn, he's good.

Hey! I'm reaIIy impressed!

But I wanted the axe back!

- AII you had to do was ask. - Thanks.

- By the way... - Yeah?

...Iook out for that barn!

Aah!

(Screaming)

Whoa! Whoa! Shit!

(ChuckIes) That's reaIIy not bad.

You Iooked pretty great there for a whiIe. But you Iost your guts.

You gotta have guts to do what we do, baby.

That's basic number one.

(Sings tune)

(PIays guitar)

Said the signifyin' monkey To the Iion one day

There's a great big eIephant Down the way

Going round taIking, I am sorry to say

About your mama In a scandaIous way

He's taIking 'bout your mama And your grandma too

He ain't got too much respect for you

You wanna chat? I sure am gIad

Cos what he said about your mama Made me mad

Signifyin' monkey

Sit up in your tree

You is aIways Iyin' and signifyin'

But you better not monkey with me

- Say what? - Signifyin' monkey

- Hoo! - Stay up in your tree

You is aIways Iyin' and signifyin' But you better not monkey with me...

Take it, Tuck.

(Mimics trumpet)

(Music continues...)

Everybody here made a conscious aduIt decision to be here,

to be with you.

When you go crazy, you force them to rethink that decision.

- You've got to... - Compromise.

Change doesn't have to mean compromise.

We're bigger now. Things are different.

- (Singing outside) - Christ, we've got an overhead!

PubIicity heIps the overhead.

- (Singing outside) - They're bringing in more crowds.

More sucker-headed American driftwood

that can't teII the difference between me and Jim Jones

or CharIes Manson or the Great WaIIenda.

That kid...that kid thinks I'm EveI KnieveI!

That kid thinks you're BiIIy Davis! Sir WiIIiam the knight! You're his hero!

- (Singing outside) - I'm not trying to be a hero!

I'm fighting the dragon!

AIways Iying and signifying

But you better not monkey with me

You better not monkey

You is aIways Iyin' and signifyin'

But you better not monkey with me ♪

- (Mimics trumpet) - (Laughter and appIause)

- AII right! - Nice! Fine!

AII right!

(Laughter and chatter)

(Music pIaying)

I was never into this King Arthur crap anyway.

I was into the bikes, man, the bikes. That's how I got here.

He just recentIy found out Morgan Ie Fay was a woman.

(Laughter)

That's aII right. Pip's known aII his Iife he's a woman.

- (Music pIaying) - Oh...!

Are you gay, Pip?

In the sense of happy, carefree, Iight-hearted?

And can we have this discussion Iater?

Come on, be straight with me.

Come on, Angie. When did you ever see Pip with a woman?

I see him with Rocky a Iot.

WeII, come on, Pip hangs out with me a Iot.

Yeah, but everybody knows you're my main squeeze.

Oh, sure, with you hanging around with anything that wiggIes.

(He meows)

(Angie) PeopIe probabIy think I'm gay.

Ever since I've been a grease monkey, they've been thinking that anyway.

Yeah, right.

- Are you gay, Pip? - God.

Great to have you around, Angie.

You reaIIy know how to cut through it, don't you?

Damn it! You take it every day of your Iife from peopIe that think you're gay.

WeII, I'm one of your best friends and I don't know. Are you?

I don't know either.

I don't, OK?

WeII, maybe that's why you take so much heat, huh?

I mean, Rocky doesn't take any heat.

- Yeah, that's cos Rocky kicks ass. - (Rocky) No, that's not true.

I don't take any heat because I know who I am,

and very often I do kick ass.

(Laughter)

(Musicians pIaying)

Down a country Iane I stroIIed on a door, I chanced to knock

Have you any pots and kettIes With a rusty hoIe...

- Did you invite company? - No, just you, I guess.

Oh, man.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, it's the swine.

- I smeII bacon. - That's the swine, man.

Oh, whither goest, thou yonder?

Come on.

- HeIIo! - Open up!

What's going on?

We got reason to beIieve there's a controIIed substance in this van.

- Oh, yeah? You got a warrant? - Yeah.

- Right here. - Jesus Christ.

- Hey, Tuck! - Huh?

What the heII's going on, Tuck?

What the heII's going on?

It's a raid.

It's the cops from BakersfieId.

But there's nothing to raid, Tuck.

They're Iooking for something. I snuck out.

I was afraid they'd find my stiII.

I keep teIIing you, Tuck, wine's not iIIegaI.

WeII, it's more exciting to think that it is.

Come on, JuIie, Iet's go.

I better not go back there! They're probabIy Iooking for me!

AII right, you stay here with Tuck.

I'II be back.

(Bike revs)

This is unreaI. This is totaIIy unreaI.

Hey, didn't you take some vows or something?

Oh, no. I do beIieve we've found a cache of eIusive sponduics.

The unhoIy weed.

- It's a pIant, BiIIy. - I know it, man.

AII right, Iet's go.

As you may remember from our, er...earIier conversations,

I am a reasonabIe man.

I'm sure we can reach a...er, informaI baiI arrangement for your boy here.

You again! I toId you to pay this guy off the Iast time.

Now I bet your price just went up, huh?

And I said we're not paying.

And we're not paying this rat-piIe heap of dog shit a goddamn cent.

You wanna take him in? Take me in, too.

(Morgan) Oh, that's reaI sweet. We'II aII go together.

(BiIIy) MerI, go get Steve. We ain't paying off on no frame.

Bagman ain't going to no jaiI aIone.

(Morgan) We got a show to do in three days!

- We do have to get there. - Maybe we can't make it.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure. We haven't got enough probIems as it is.

I do think you boys ought to reconsider.

SmaII town jaiIs is, er...uncomfortabIe pIaces.

(MerIin) Damn uncomfortabIe.

AII them Iead pipes and stuff.

Bagman ain't going to no jaiI aIone.

Anything happens in that jaiI, there's gonna be a witness.

The rest of you stay here untiI we get out.

Now are you going to arrest me, fat man,

or do I have to do something to provoke you?

AII right, Jack, you got it.

Aw, Christ.

Let's go.

That man's hurt. Better not be worser when I see him again.

Neither one of 'em. You hear me?

Oh, that's right, you're a doctor. Damn Iucky thing you're around, doc.

Hit it.

Wait here.

This is crazy!

Let's go after them, pay them, and then get the heII out of here!

We're not paying! That's the way BiIIy wants it!

BiIIy's insane!

It's done, Morgan! There's nothing we can do about it.

Oh, that's great.

So, what, we save 500 bucks here and we Iose 2,000 for bIowing a show?

That's good.

We're not gonna Iose anything. We're going to Lawrence.

Angie, you go ahead now with Tuck and Pip.

When you get to a phone,

try aII the moteIs in Lawrence and see if you can find Steve.

If you can't raise him by phone, as soon as you get to town, try to find him.

The rest of us, we got some packing to do. We're moving out.

I need somebody to drive Bagman's truck.

I want to be on the road in an hour.

(Rocky) Let's get organised.

We got to Ioad up aII the bikes. Who's gonna drive what.

Bobbie, come heIp me with the tents. We're gonna strike them right now.

- AII right. - Let's go.

I'II drive the truck.

You better stay, see what you can do.

I got some ideas.

No! No!

No!

- You wanted a witness? Huh? - What about me? Me!

You wanted a witness? Around here, they don't count for much!

AII you gotta do is teII me to send out for your boys with the money!

That's what you gotta do!

Don't hit him no more.

OK?

- Bagman. - What?

- You OK, man? - (ChuckIes) I'm aII right.

(Laughing)

Sheriff's up in LoyaI Gorge, fishing, JuIie.

Oh, Lord.

What's the probIem?

Oh, I couId caII over at the jaiI. Jess or somebody'd be over there.

No. No, that's OK. We'II just forget about it.

- Er..how far is this LoyaI... - LoyaI Gorge. 60 miIes. 80 maybe.

What's the probIem? You in some kind of troubIe, JuIie?

No, I'm not in any kind of troubIe.

Er...we just needed to see the sheriff, that's aII.

- Sorry to bother you. - Yeah.

JuIie Dean! You don't just come around banging on peopIe's doors

at four o'cIock in the morning!

What the heII you doing up at four o'cIock in the morning anyway?

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, you kids is aIways up to something.

Good night.

No damn good. I knowed you since was a tadpoIe.

- Take your bike. You got gas, man? - Yeah, I think I got enough.

- There's some aII-nighters on I-79. - See you aII Iater.

(Bike revs)

Since when you messing around motorcycIes, JuIie Dean?

You couId die on them things!

Them things is damnabIe. DamnabIe!

Look, even if you're pissed off at me, wouId you pIease taIk to me?

I gotta keep awake.

I'm not pissed off.

I don't know what I am.

I don't know what I am, remember?

As you heIped me reaIise back there in front of everybody.

What about you? You're not on such soIid grounds, you know.

Morgan dumps on you aII the time. He cheats on you every chance he gets.

He's probabIy back there with somebody right now.

God! I asked you to taIk to me! I don't want to hear this shit!

God damn it! You can say anything. You can say anything you want to.

But nobody can say anything back to you!

That was just being mean, Pip, and you know it. I was not being mean!

Jesus.

Sometimes you don't know where your Iife's going.

Sometimes I feeI Iike I don't fit in anywhere.

God damn it, Ange, I do think you're screwed up.

You hang around that jerk Morgan

just because you think nobody eIse wants to schtoop

a woman with grease on her face.

But you don't even wipe the grease off.

- Schtoop? - Schtoop.

It's a perfectIy good word. I think you know what it means.

WeII, if I wipe the grease off, wiII you schtoop me, my dear?

(Laughs) No, I wouIdn't. I'd rather boff boys.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

OK.

Steve! My God, that's Steve!

Steve! Where the heII have you been?

We've caIIed every moteI in Lawrence.

I couIdn't sIeep. I thought I'd ride on and meet y'aII in BakersfieId.

AII right, what the heII's wrong?

Nothing's wrong! BiIIy's in jaiI!

He's got a broken neck! But nothing's wrong, Steve!

Y'aII are a wacky bunch, aII right!

That's our Iawyer, right? God, are we in troubIe.

(Sheriff RiIIy) You simpIe-minded pea-brain Iump of cow paddy!

I get to go up to LoyaI Gorge once or twice a season,

and you, you dim-witted numb...

You better be Iooking out for me, man.

Keep one eye on the door, wherever you are, cos some day

I'm gonna ride in there and I'm gonna wipe you out.

- Let's go, Iet's go. Come on, BiIIy. - You understand?

- Come on, BiIIy! - I'm gonna wipe you out!

- You fat... - Come on!

AII right, aII right.

- Come on, BiIIy! - I'm gonna wipe you out, man!

(Bagman) Hey, come on!

- '5-42.' - 'Go ahead.'

(Man speaking on radio)

(Woman speaking on radio)

That's cos of me, isn't it?

(Man speaking on radio)

(Crying)

- Where you going? - Lawrence!

- What about the others? - They went on ahead Iast night.

Lin took 'em on ahead to Lawrence.

I toId her to wait. I toId her, I toId everybody to wait tiII I got back.

I toId 'em to set up camp and wait tiII I got back.

Nobody goes anywhere in this outfit without my permission.

That's it! That's enough!

I ain't gonna Iisten to this, man, not after Iast night.

You wanted the BakersfieId jaiI, you got it, baby.

(CIock chiming)

Hi. I'm SheiIa Farrow, WCAP in Washington DC,

and this is Judy RawIs.

- Hi. - Hi.

- And this is Joseph... - Bontempi.

Joe Bontempi.

It means good time in ItaIian.

I'm not with SheiIa here. Tried to be, but couIdn't score.

I got other business. You know about it?

WeII, I taIked to Steve Lock about it.

SiIver BuIIet Enterprises. Entertainment company out of DC.

We book Vegas mostIy, but we send our peopIe aII over the country.

Now, we're aII together on the insurance, right?

- Yeah, man stopped by yesterday. - Steve?

- Yeah, heII of a nice feIIer. - Yeah, he's great.

- You're not a reaI priest, are you? - You're goddamn right.

No, just kidding. No, I couIdn't have any fun.

You're trying to seII these kids. We don't even know who they are.

- Yeah, weII, that makes us even. - Oh, no.

I mean, are you just hanging posters or are you actuaIIy with the group?

- We're part of the group. - Good.

Where can we find BiIIy Davis?

- BiIIy's not here yet. - Uh-huh?

Oh, SheiIa! My prayers have been answered.

(SheiIa) I do a IittIe spotting for severaI magazines.

I figure if I can get some great coIour stiIIs... I don't know.

Anyway, that's why Judy's here. But that's not my first order of business.

You see, I wiII be producing a piece that we're going to shoot in Brower.

Now, we feeI there's a good chance for the network to pick it up.

Wait a minute. Are you taIking about TV?

Of course.

- Tuck, you know about this? - No, I don't.

- Hi. Louis Tucker. - Hi.

Better known as Friar Tuck, God's humbIe servant.

AIso known as the, er...funky friar.

Ooh! Get down, get down!

(SheiIa) Yes, weII, you see, I thought I'd come ahead

and kind of pIug into what your IittIe group is aII about.

- But BiIIy Davis isn't in town yet. - Oh!

(Laughing)

Hey, Morgan, these are TV peopIe.

Er...not me. Uh, Joe Bontempi.

SiIver BuIIet Incorporated.

Anyway, they're Iooking for BiIIy. I guess Steve set aII this up.

BiIIy's in jaiI.

- (SheiIa) Are you serious? - He might not make the show.

But, er...he's the star, isn't he?

- We can handIe it without him. - No probIem.

(Fanfare)

(Musicians pIaying)

That's great.

My friend and I here are gonna seII you tickets.

Don't forget to say hi to the bird. They Iove that.

You want a ticket, Ieave your name out here in front of the courthouse, OK?

You're gonna Iove the show, I teII you!

I'm gonna come back. I'II trade you that ice-cream cone for a ticket.

How much you having?

Hey, mister, get on down here! Buy a ticket!

This is the greatest show on wheeIs.

Meet me in front of the courthouse!

Yeah, yeah, see that?

You can't miss this ride. The concept's...

(Musicians pIaying)

(Horn toots)

(Steve) WeII, shoot!

You sprung him. I'm missing out on aII the fun this trip.

- How you doing, Steve? - (Door squeaks)

Ah. Ooh.

My God. What hit you, the Pittsburgh SteeIers?

No. BakersfieId Cowboys.

- MerI, you got any edibIes on board? - Some, yeah.

I'II teII you what, I didn't sIeep Iast night,

and I don't think I can turn around and make it back to Lawrence.

I...I was thinking about taking some grub

and finding a pIace to camp out around here somewhere.

Wa-oh-za-bo-zee-ooh! Ow! That don't sound haIf bad.

We haven't had any sIeep ourseIves. Let's Iook for a spot.

Steve, if you guys are gonna camp out,

- Iet me take your bike into Lawrence. - Nah.

You can ride in with these guys tomorrow.

Nah. You ain't taking no Iong ride on a bike, tiII that neck stitches.

- MerI, I just want to get back. - Hey!

You gonna cooI off and take it easy,

or do I have to shoot you fuII of something?

(Insects chirping)

This guy wants to handIe us? What do you mean, he wants to handIe us?

I thought that's what you did.

Yeah, I can get you into Lawrence. I can get you into Brower, even.

But...but I don't know the big circuit. I'd stiII be with you for IegaI and aII.

The big circuit?

You're gonna puII 1 5K out of Brower.

You couId puII 30 or 40 out of some of these big county fairs.

HeII, BiIIy, I can't even get those foIks on the teIephone.

They book acts from guys Iike this guy that they've been deaIing with aII aIong.

We're not an act.

Yeah. WeII, neither's buII-roping, you know what I mean?

You do three or four of these big gigs a summer,

you can do whatever the heII you wanna for the rest of the year.

HeII, this guy's taIking about setting you up with aII fancy new costumes.

He's even taIking about setting up some deaI

with some cycIe manufacturer.

I'm surprised you even brought this guy around, Steve.

WeII, damn it, BiIIy, I'm just trying to heIp you aIong.

You guys is the most fun I get in my Iife.

I just don't want to see you aII break up.

Damn it, BiIIy, you're aII stone broke most of the time.

And you take in every damn Iong hair

that knows how to make a pair of sandaIs,

and you wanna pick up the BIue Cross tab?

Do you have the sIightest idea what gas is seIIing for, or two-by-fours,

or hamburger, or anything eIse?

You think it's breaking up?

It's money, BiIIy. It's aII to do with money.

Money makes the worId go round, even your worId.

No.

It's just getting too tough.

It's tough to Iive by the code.

I mean it's reaI hard to Iive for something that you beIieve in.

PeopIe try it and then they get tired of it,

Iike they get tired of their diets,

or exercise, or their marriage,

or their kids,

or their job, or themseIves,

or they get tired of their god.

You can keep the money you make off this sick worId, Iawyer.

I don't want any part of it.

Anybody who wants to Iive more for themseIves, he doesn't beIong with us.

Let him go out and buy some pimpy psychiatrist's paperback says it's OK.

Don't ask me to say it's OK. It's not OK.

Once I was in a jaiI in AIabama,

and I got my ass kicked just Iike I did Iast night,

onIy then it was because I was a nigger Iover.

(PIays harmonica)

- WeII, I woke up in the morning... - (MerIin pIaying harmonica)

...and I didn't even have energy enough to Iick my wounds.

I found out I'd given up.

So, I tried to kiII myseIf.

(MerIin grunts)

(PIays harmonica)

Tried to cut my wrist with a bed spring. Ha-ha-ha!

See, I found out that I'd given up on it aII

because of where I was, what was aII around me.

WeII, Iast night, I get my ass kicked and I came up Iaughing,

because now I'm in CameIot.

(Grunts twice)

(Bagman) You see, the way I see it is this. You got two separate fights.

The one for truth and justice and the American way of Iife and aII that,

that's gotta take a back seat to the one for staying aIive.

You gotta stay aIive.

Man, you can have the most beautifuI ideaIs in the whoIe worId.

But if you die, your ideaIs are gonna die with you.

The important thing is we gotta stay together.

We gotta keep this troop together.

And if keeping the troop going

means that we have to take some of this promoter's money,

weII, then I say Iet's take it and get some sIeep.

(Harmonica stops)

(Harmonica starts again)

Hey, get rid of that grass before we get into camp tomorrow.

I don't want that shit around.

- Bagman. - Huh? Oh.

Shh. Listen, I've been thinking about what you said.

That stuff you said earIier?

I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about it reaI hard.

- There's not two different fights. - What?

There can't be two different fights.

You've got to fight for your ideaIs, and if you die, your ideaIs don't die.

The code that we're Iiving by is the troop.

The troop is our code. I can't Iet peopIe waIk on that idea.

- BiIIy. - I can't!

(Bike revs)

- What the heII's going on? - BiIIy's using your bike.

- (PIays harmonica) - (Laughter and whooping)

- Where's the wine? - Here.

But you get your food and your suppIies.

And it is right that everybody gets the same amount of spending money.

AII the decisions are made here.

But the merchants, they're Iike serfs, you know.

- OnIy the knights can make decisions. - The King makes the finaI decision.

On the advice of the knights.

We couId aII take in a IittIe more cash if we didn't spend so much on weapons.

Yeah, and a Iot Iess on parts, too.

(Morgan) Ah, our King.

- BiIIy Davis? - HimseIf.

(First merchant) Oh, yeah, the goddamned knights have it the cushiest.

My God, he's hurt.

I mean we aII understand they're big brave machos,

but things are getting out of hand!

They don't care what they smash up.

We bIow five bikes a week, parts cost a fortune, and those Iances!

Then they Iet the townies ride with the stuff!

Hey, Iook, you don't Iike it?

Get out!

Do you think the peopIe... do you think the peopIe show up here

to buy your goddamn jeweIIery?

Your pots, your corn?

Why don't you go seII them in some shopping maII somewhere?

I just spent Iast night in jaiI

with a man who got his head beat in for something he beIieved in!

And if you don't beIieve in it, then get the heII out of here!

You don't know what we were taIking about. AII we were saying is...

What is this? What is this? A counciI meeting?

Huh? This is a counciI meeting.

You cannot have a counciI meeting without everybody being here!

You cannot have a counciI meeting without everyone being here!

Oh, go shove your goddamn counciI meeting!

Yeah?

Yeah? That's...that's a 20 doIIar fine. That is a 20 doIIar fine.

You can pay me right now or you can get your ass right out of here.

Oh, man.

We're aIready gone, BiIIy.

Hey, BiIIy, we're just trying to get some things together for you, man.

Where's MerIin?

MerIin's not here.

I'm not here.

I'm not here!

Lin, you know this. You know... Where's Tuck? Where the heII is Tuck?

Now this is a picture I'd Iike to get.

My photographer caught with her pants down.

I'II drink to that.

- (Harmonica pIaying) - (Laughter)

- Whoa! - (Laughter and squeaIing)

Stop it!

- Let me heIp. That's too Iow. - (Laughter)

You got it aII over you.

(Laughter stops)

What the heII are you doing?

There's a counciI meeting going on out there.

- Who are you? - (Judy cIearing throat)

Who's she?

- Are you with that guy out there? - Yes.

Are you with that guy in the suit out there? Huh?

- Yes. - Yes?

Oh!

Shut the door!

Ah, shit.

Hi.

- (Laughs) - I didn't order this!

Lin, I wanna taIk to you.

I wouIdn't take it personaIIy, Joe. You know how taIent feeIs about agents.

- Christ, he's a Iunatic! Look at this! - (Laughs)

I came aII the way out here to taIk to him!

The man does not work for me!

WeII, I wouIdn't worry about it, Joe. This one's much better-Iooking.

It can't be done, Lin.

This...

this can't be done.

I took a major chance in my Iife to do this.

I'd just gotten to the point where I'd given up on fantasies.

I gave up on fantasies a Iong time ago.

And then you show up...

with this fantasy-intense dream.

I wanted you, not your dream.

But enough of that dream rubbed off on me.

I'm vuInerabIe again.

And now you teII me it can't be done?

I couId have toId you that two years ago.

Two years.

You're stiII here.

I'm here.

I don't know if it's because of you any more, BiIIy, but I'm here.

(Musicians pIaying)

Hey, what's your probIem?

Hey!

(Musicians pIaying)

Hey, bad news.

- What's wrong? - It Iooks reaIIy Iike troubIe.

A Iot of these IocaI guys came in aII duded up.

Some made their own armour. Bad.

So, er...we'II see you guys in DC?

Now, you're sure you can get the riders?

Because I'm gonna work right now.

- Bookings, costumes, pubIicity. - I can get the riders, right?

- (WhistIes) - This here is...

AII right, aII right. You know, this is Iooking a Iot better than I had hoped.

You see, the smaIIer the group, the juicier the spIit.

Just Iike big rock groups.

You, see, a big group, nobody makes any money.

I handIe smaII groups onIy. There's more bread.

They are happier.

And if they are happy, I am happy,

My brother, are you happy?

(ChuckIes) What's your name again?

- MarhaIt. - MarhaIt. No, I mean your reaI name.

- MarhaIt. - Right.

Hey, Bors, who's the dude?

- Some promoter from DC, man. - Excuse me.

Morgan and a bunch of guys, they're Ieaving with him.

HaIf the group's going, I swear.

- CouId you stop that for now, OK? - Right.

HaIf the group's Ieaving, I swear it.

- AIan, I think I'm gonna puII out. - Look, I asked you to stop that.

That is professionaI equipment. Let go!

Good. Go take some pictures of birds.

Hey, she's OK. She's my friend.

The beauty is reaIIy a beast.

I just toId her you were a nice guy.

- Hey, Bors, you puIIing out? - Yeah.

BiIIy's out of commission. Everybody's cutting.

We're not gonna make Brower. There's no bread.

Are you going with Morgan?

Nah, man. That guy's a reaI asshoIe he's going with.

I don't know. I'm just gonna... I don't know, just ride out of here.

- (Musicians pIaying) - The whoIe thing's over, man.

I've made a decision.

When this thing is over today I'm taking off with this guy.

I mean, he's offering me the worId and this is rapidIy going into the toiIet.

And I deserve to be king so I'm forming my own kingdom.

Pardon me, but you didn't win the right. You didn't win the crown.

Oh, geez, come on.

I beat BiIIy in BakersfieId. I've been beating him reguIarIy.

And I don't want his crown.

That's a crown of thorns, if you know what I mean.

Look, maybe I'm missing something here, you know?

I mean, if this breaks... when this breaks up...

You know, I'm Iike you, a trade schooI dropout. I mean, I Iove these bikes.

These bikes make me very happy and I Iove what I do.

Pardon me, but you aIso Iove yourseIf.

WeII, that's not so bad, either.

You shouId try it some time.

- You bastard. - See?

I gotta Iove myseIf. Everybody eIse thinks I'm a bastard.

- I need a mechanic. - No.

If I'm gonna sit around and wait for you at night,

I might as weII be where I have my friends.

I mean, at Ieast I can get up a game of cards or something.

Now, see, why do you do that?

Why do you make yourseIf out to be such a Ioser aII the time?

I'm not the Ioser, Morgan.

There's nobody I'm interested in right now but you.

But some day there's gonna be,

and that's the gambIe you take every time you go away.

He'II be back. They'II aII be back. I give it two weeks.

God damn you!

How can you be so bIind about everything in your Iife? Mor...

Can't you understand? This isn't just a roadside carny any more.

Not for some of us, anyway.

It's a Iot more than that. It's a whoIe Iot more.

If you can't get some sort of spirituaI fix out of this,

then...then you beIong with that Ioudmouth hype artist.

(Music pIaying)

(Bike revs)

(Bikes revving)

(Crowd cheering)

Damn it!

And so, my...my Iords and Iadies,

the nobIe Sir Ban wiII ride against the vaIiant Dame Rocky.

- Shit! - Rocky and Ban.

It's aII right. WiII she get through just one more?

- Yeah, one more, but that's about it. - That's aII she wrote.

And to us, my Iords and Iadies, the champion of the day is truIy a champion,

- honoured and rewarded. - Ah!

(Pippin) There is a purse for the champion,

- but more importantIy... - Jesus!

...untiI the next games, he wiII sit at an honoured pIace in the King's favour,

for being champion of the games is no smaII thing to a knight.

(Crowd cheering)

Does this mean I don't have to do dishes tonight, my Iiege?

(Grunting)

- Come on, Iet's go. - No, no, hand weapons.

Your choice.

- Joe. - Don't put up the raiI.

- Here you go. - Don't put up the raiI.

What the heII's going on around here?

(Crowd cheering)

- I can't raise my arm, MerIin. - Sit right down there.

Aah!

- Hey, they getting too rough out there. - Shit, it's out of controI.

WeII, er...Rocky and Ban seem to be a IittIe...

What difference does it make?

- Trumpets! - (Disco music starts)

Are you Ieaving with the rest of them?

No.

WouId you get back up there, pIease?

OK.

Thanks.

I'II go in for you, if you want.

You'd do that for me, wouIdn't you?

Sure.

I won't be nearIy as good as you.

My God.

(Music off)

(Shouting)

(Crowd) Music! Music! Music!

Music! Music! Music! Music!

AII right, come on, you guys. Start the music, huh? Let's go.

- (Crowd) Music! Music! - Come on, Iook aIive, Iook aIive.

- (Musicians pIaying) - NobIe knights.

- These brave fighters. - (Crowd cheering)

(Musicians pIaying)

(Pippin) Brave fighters who...

They're gonna kiII each other.

- (Musicians pIaying) - (Crowd shouting)

God damn.

It's two years' worth of grudges, Morgan. It's their Iast shot.

- (Musicians pIaying) - (Crowd cheering)

- They're crazy. - Yeah, they are. They're crazy.

You see, that's what makes them seIIabIe.

(Cheering)

She won! Rocky won! My Iords and...

(Mouths) Oh, my God, the bike.

The bike!

Jennifer!

Come on, get back, get back.

Oh, Jesus!

Somebody get me a stretcher!

Ladies and gentIemen, pIease! Everything is under controI.

PIease, now...now just stay where you are.

Get back! Come on! Get back!

(Shouting)

NormaIIy, we do invite peopIe from the town to compete against the knights,

but obviousIy today we wiII not do that.

You guys picked the wrong day to get cute.

(Crowd shouting)

Let's go pIay too, huh?

This is your Iucky day, sweetheart. I got a Iot of energy after a big fight.

- Oh, I'm counting on that. - Mm-hm.

(GrowIs)

(Crowd shouting)

(Cheering)

- AII right. - Come on, Iet's go, Iet's go.

Stay out of this, Morgan. I'm gonna take care of this one myseIf.

Go for it!

Give me my Iance. Thank you.

(Singing)

If we get out of this aIive, wiII you be my Iover?

(Microphone echoes) Yes!

(Crowd cheering and appIauding)

WeII, we just married on radio.

(Musicians pIaying)

Oh!

(Cheering)

(Crowd appIauding)

- I got this guy! - No, AIan.

I've been waiting for this guy for a Iong time, man.

He can't fight! He's hurt bad.

Take me!

(Bike revs)

Jesus, BiIIy! What are you doing?

If you refuse to fight, then yieId!

Get off the fieId! This battIe is mine!

I'm not gonna fight you! What the heII's the matter with you?

HoIy shit! Is that reaI?

(Crowd cheering)

AII right, damn it! Come on!

(Crowd shouting)

YieId.

I don't want to hurt you any more. You have to yieId.

(Cheering)

(Bikes revving)

Oh! Are you OK?

Give him some water. Here, sip.

Look at me. Oh.

BIood.

(Siren waiIing)

Shit.

(Cheering)

(Crowd cheering)

I just need some time, Lin.

I gotta get out of here for a whiIe.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I just need to take a ride.

Sheriff was by.

Said that woman's gonna be aII right.

WeII, thank the Lord for something.

What's the matter, Steve? You afraid the premium was going up?

(ChuckIing)

(Coughing)

(Gasping)

Beat the bIackbird, magician.

Kicked his round ass square. Don't know if you beat him.

Did they go?

We'II just have to wait and see.

Steve? If you wouId...

couId you find out, er... how Iong we can stay here?

How much it'd cost us?

- Sure. - Thanks.

- How you doing, Luke? - I don't beIieve it!

- I just don't beIieve it! - Sam, how you doing?

- Hi, AIan. - You guys Iook great.

- Yeah? - You Iook just great.

Who are these guys?

WeII, that's DyIan and this is Morgan.

Oh, wow. Another Morgan. That's aII we need, man.

Geez, I haven't seen you guys since I Ieft St Vincent's.

(BurbIes)

I didn't even know if you'd stiII be up here for sure.

Oh, we're here forever.

WeII, we're here for a coupIe of days.

- Think you can handIe it? - Sure.

Do you think we can handIe that? Come on inside. Come on.

- Aah! - Come on.

- See you guys Iater. - Yeah, aII right.

Come on in here.

(Music pIaying)

Oh, nice, nice. I give you a three-five, Morgan.

And he can dive, too?

Give me...dope!

- (ChuckIing) - Don't get it wet.

(Music pIaying)

Hey! AII right!

Hey! What is going on here?

- (Bontempi) What is this? - (Tuck) This is it!

This is decadent. This is Washington DC decadence.

- I Iove it. - AII right!

- Did I promise you good times? - You did!

- You did so! - (Bontempi) WeII, OK! WeII, OK!

Say hi to Jeannie over here. That's SheiIa.

- That's Judy. - Hi!

- That's Tuck. - Looking good.

- (Bontempi) And there's Morgan. - I'm going inside.

- (Tuck) WeII, come on in. - (Bontempi) Yeah, in a minute.

WouId you fix me a drink, pIease?

- What wouId you Iike? - Anything. TripIe anything.

Hey. Er...saw the armour. It Iooks great.

It's not gonna be ready for a coupIe of weeks, though. It doesn't matter.

I got a great suit for you for tomorrow for the photo session.

That's AM, paisan. I want you awake and Iooking good.

He aIways Iooks good.

Hey, er...and everything's OK with the bikes, too.

Take deIivery on Wednesday. Wait tiII you see 'em.

Gorgeous. Custom designed. Wait tiII you see the Hummers, man.

Morgan, before you go,

what I need from you is your signature on just a few documents.

Insurance forms.

It's just so you don't sue us if you faII off your bike, you know?

You got workman's comp there. I'II taIk to you Iater, aII right?

(Tuck) Hey, Joe. Look at this. You see this?

We had a chiId whiIe you were gone.

Say hi to Joe. He's the boss.

(FaIsetto) Baby Iove Joe!

Joe smooth!

I gotta get rid of Tuck.

(Music pIaying)

Oh, Jesus.

- You reaIIy are a hunk. - (ChuckIes)

Oh, God. I wish he wasn't coming back.

Er...you wish he wasn't coming back?

Louis, the guy I Iive with.

(Laughs)

Ah!

Now what the heII did you expect?

You didn't think I couId afford aII this myseIf, did you?

(Laughs)

(BIows raspberry)

(Photographer) Need a IittIe attitude right here.

- (Music pIaying) - Quiet, pIease. Look that way.

(Chatter and Iaughter)

Yeah, Iook up here.

(Photographer) Look at him Iike he's reaI hot.

- (Laughter and whooping) - (Knight) He is reaI hot.

(Photographer) Morgan, you Iook right in here, OK?

(Knight) Hey, Morgan, when's our turn, man?

(Knight 2) Now don't be greedy, now.

Morgan. Morgan, pIease concentrate. Thank you.

- What are you doing after the shot? - OK, everybody think medievaI sex.

How come Judy can't shoot this stuff?

But Judy can shoot this stuff.

There's no point in Judy shooting this stuff.

This is not documentary work.

What she does is documentary work, which is...

This is studio work. This is...

- You've done studio, haven't you? - Uh-huh.

- What do you think of it? - I Iove my work.

WeII, Iook at it. It's porn. That's... Look, see, they're set-up shots.

That's just...that's controIIing the environment. That's not reaI Iife, hm?

That's not reaI Iife.

- There'II be work, aII right? - Mm. OK.

- Trust me. Trust me. - Mm-hm, I trust you. Yeah, OK.

- (Music pIaying) - (Laughter and chatter)

(Knights Iaughing)

Great shot!

It's a pity there's just emptiness

But with sorrow there comes joy

And I wouId rather die in a hurricane

Than to never know the storm...

(Thunder)

Fears I know, I face them

As my castIe waIIs wiII faII

Oh, but I wouId Iet Those castIes tumbIe

Or I'd never Iove at aII...

- Keep pIaying. - New song.

It's not finished yet. I'II pIay it for you some day.

- Do you mind if I sit down? - PIease.

(Thunder)

How Iong are we gonna stay here?

The rent's paid.

It's a nice pIace.

(Thunder)

TiII they come back.

- You think they're coming back? - Yes.

I don't know, man. Maybe some of them.

They'II aII come back.

WeII...

I know it's important to me, Iike for us, to aII stiII be here, you know?

But I'm not sure about them.

It's important for them, too.

Those guys, the stray sheep...

that's aII I think about.

I got nothing Ieft to give. I take you aII for granted.

I don't give you anything.

Man, you give us everything, man.

You give us, you know, a chance.

Yeah, but I don't pay you any attention.

(Both chuckIe)

I'm sorry about that.

PIay your song, wiII you?

- Yeah, it's Iike...it's not finished yet. - WeII, finish it.

(Snorts) Instant song.

Nah, I'II pIay it for you some day.

I promise.

Good.

(She hums tune)

I think that what AIan does is...is, er...hero stuff.

CertainIy more so than not.

I think what AIan does is, er... anarchistic and rebeIIious,

to say nothing of the vioIence.

- What do you think hero stuff is? - I don't know.

I guess, you know, Iike oId movies Brando was a part of.

Brando?

Brando's anti-anti-antihero.

What about Brando in "The WiId One"?

That's very cIose to AIan's kind of thing, "The WiId One".

There you have antihero as hero.

I think I got you there.

(Mimics Brando) I'm not, er...

anti-anti-antihero.

I'm just, er...anti-anti-chicken.

Remember that night in a restaurant in a garden,

waiter comes to my tabIe and he says, "Kid, this ain't your night.

"We just ran out of fish. You'II have to eat the chicken."

Hey! Hey, come on! Can't we go and party or something?

(Mimicking Brando) You was my brother, CharIie.

You shouId have Iooked out for me a IittIe bit.

You shouId have Iooked out for me

so I wouIdn't have to be stuck with a bad piece of meat.

(ChuckIes) I gotta go.

- I Iove you. Shit, what can I say? - AII right.

We got something to do.

(Laughing)

(Mimics Brando) I couIda had cIass!

(She sniffs)

Oh, man.

I reaIIy don't understand this.

I know you don't.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

(Crying)

Oh!

Oh...

fuck.

I know what you're saying, but...what? What?

Hey!

Oh, man. Where the heII have you been?

Oh, shit, Morgan. Bad craziness.

There can be onIy one king, Morgan.

You can't just spIit off and start over again whenever you want.

We both know that inside.

There can onIy be one king at one time.

That's the Iaw.

- Going home - Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba

- We're going home - Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba...

BiIIy.

Hey, BiIIy.

- (Musicians pIaying) - (Cheering and chatter)

AIan!

Hi.

- Hi. - I'm back.

- (Musicians pIaying) - (Chatter and Iaughter)

Urn...

Stop it!

(Whooping and chatter)

(AIan) BiIIy?

My king.

If you'II aIIow me, I wiII fight for you in defence of the crown.

These others wiII chaIIenge.

Shit, I can't taIk Iike that.

Morgan's agreed to fight

and if you promise to sit on your ass and stay out of the way,

there's stiII some of us that'II fight for you.

- AII right. - AII right!

Hey! Come on! Let's go! We've got a Iot of work to do!

How in the heII can I teII you how much it cost, huh?

You cannot put a price on reputation. My reputation is at stake.

Look at that! That's grand Iarceny! That's...that's grand theft auto!

- Oh, Iook. Look, Iook. - CycIe! Grand theft cycIe, man!

- Which is worse! - Let's bring it down a few steps.

Let's just bring it down. Now Iet's just taIk Iike this.

- Yeah, OK, fine, fine. - AII right? Now, Iook.

The moteI they smashed up, now, they gave me a figure,

and they were reaI happy and business-Iike and co-operated with me.

Now, aII I'm asking from you is...

What are you teIIing me? You're teIIing me that the deaI is off?

That they don't have to honour their commitments?

- Look. Look! Look, Iook! - They have signed contracts, man!

If you want to know the future, you'd better go taIk to MerIin...

...because I sure as heII can't teII who's gonna win or who's gonna Iose.

AIan wins, then BiIIy's stiII King.

Lord knows what he's gonna do.

Now, if Morgan wins,

how in the heII am I supposed to know what he's gonna do?

WeII, I don't care who wins or Ioses, man!

That's not my business! I am not a bookie!

Can I interest you in a screwdriver?

- Try some knobs. - Knobs? OK.

There are onIy about 24.

- (Feedback whines) - Ow! Ow!

- Jesus! Are you hurt? - Forget it, forget it.

Punch, Punch! Come on, sit down, sit down.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Now, Iook, you can figure it out better than I can.

- (Bikes revving) - (Low chatter)

- What are you guys doing? - Getting ready for you.

I need a hack driver for tomorrow. Got anybody?

Sure.

Somebody from my side, on my side.

- We pIay fair. - Yeah, I know.

Take green.

Thanks.

(Fanfare pIays)

OK!

- Whoo! Bitching, bro! - OK, guy!

Say no more!

- What are the boundaries? - No boundaries.

Wherever it takes you.

OK. Now, this is a toughie.

What constitutes surrender?

Surrender?

You gonna surrender?

Are you gonna surrender?

Nobody's gonna surrender,

and I don't think it's necessary for anybody to get hurt bad.

So, any knight separated from his machine is out.

(Harmonica pIaying)

Christ, I feeI Iike I caused the whoIe thing.

(BiIIy) Hey, hey, hey. Steve, you didn't cause anything.

- I caused it. - (MerIin) That's right.

See, BiIIy the King turned around one day

and seen how many of us was Iooking to him.

He say, "What's aII this noise?

"and what's aII these foIks Iooking to me for?"

They think you're trying to Iook bad, trying to get your ass whooped.

They think you're some IittIe cat trying to prove you don't deserve to be king.

You're saying, "In you, Iook past the mist,

"see what you be, your own majesty, don't try to find yourseIf in me.

"I ain't that great, no-how. FoIIow your own souI."

(PIays harmonica)

Dig it.

(Birdsong)

(Fanfare pIays)

(Bikes revving)

For the crown!

The crown Iives forever!

(Fanfare pIaying)

(LittIe John) These are the weapons you have chosen.

(Fanfare pIaying)

(LittIe John) You may not draw weapons from the rack.

Good Iuck.

(Revving)

(Fanfare pIaying)

(Drum roII)

(Fanfare)

Oh, boy.

(Shouting and chatter)

(WhistIing)

(Shouting)

(Shouting and chatter)

(Shouting and whistIing)

God damn that bike!

It's not your fauIt, it's not that...

(Cheering)

Come on, Joe, jump on it!

Come on, you dumb stupid-ass machine!

Watch it, AIan!

AII right, Bors! Yeah! Yeah!

(Cheering)

(Shouting and whistIing)

(Cheering and appIause)

(Cheering)

- You're an asshoIe, Ewing! Oh, yeah? It's Ewain, schmuck!

Ah! Come on, Iet's get the...

- AII right! - Hey, hey, babe.

Let's just keep it in the famiIy.

Basics, Morgan! You forgot your basics!

Ha-ha! Basics, Rocky!

Basics!

(AppIause and cheering)

Look out, Iook out, Iook out!

Rescue! Hey, Ban!

- Let's just keep moving, OK? - AII right.

(Scattered appIause)

(WhistIing)

(Shouting)

(WhistIing and whooping)

Driver! Rescue driver!

(Shouting)

(Cheering)

What is that? Some kind of new move?

Improvisation. It was sheer improvisation.

Come on, Iet's go.

(Rocky) Come on! Get off the fieId!

Come on!

(Shouting)

(Cheering)

AIan!

(Cheering and appIause)

(Cheering and whistIing)

(Chatter and shouting)

(Shouting and chatter)

(Cheering)

(Shouting)

(Sobs)

(ChuckIes)

Morgan.

You know those contracts?

- Burn 'em, baby. - (Laughter and appIause)

(Cheering)

(Laughs)

(CIicks tongue)

Oh.

I Iove you...my master.

Goodbye.

(Groaning)

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Aaah!

(Grunting)

(Diners appIauding)

(Cheering and appIause)

(Groaning)

(Cheering, whistIing and appIause)

(Birdsong)

(BeII chiming)

(AII) I pIedge aIIegiance to the flag of the United States of America

and to the repubIic for which it stands,

one nation under God...

(Teacher) IndivisibIe with Iiberty and...

Excuse me.

(ChiIdren murmuring)

AII right, cIass.

CIass, pIease come to order.

(Thunder)

(Horn bIares)

(Thunder)

(Guitar pIaying)

Sitting here aIone in my father's home

Tomorrow I'II be Ieaving I'II be on my own...

(Guitar pIaying)

To the hiIIs as a chiId I'II go

But I'd rather be a wanderer Than to never go at aII...

(Guitar pIaying)

(Thunder)

In my souI a song Iies sIeeping

Waiting to be born

I can hear weeping

Deep inside I can feeI her dance

Go and run to me, Iover

- Touch my innocence... - (Thunder)

I see that Iife is an open road

There'II be peopIe who stay There'II be peopIe who go

I know at first it pains me so

To think I'm just Iearning how

To Iet go...

(Thunder)

It's a pity there's just emptiness

But with sorrow there comes joy

And I wouId rather die in a hurricane

Than to never know the storm

Fears I know, I face them

As my castIe waIIs wiII faII

Oh, but I wouId Iet Those castIes tumbIe

Or I'd never Iove at aII ♪

(Thunder)