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1
00:00:03,569 --> 00:00:04,936
Hey, caryn.
2
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:06,137
Oh, hey, Sally, look,
3
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:07,239
you've got to come
to our protest.
4
00:00:07,241 --> 00:00:08,340
What's going on?
5
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,241
Playpen magazineis
coming here next week
6
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:11,976
to look for students
to pose naked.
7
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:13,778
It's their "coeds
of the midwest" issue.
8
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,546
Oh, my God.
They're coming here?
9
00:00:15,548 --> 00:00:18,250
They're offering $600
to pose naked.
10
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:19,751
I mean, how degrading is that?
11
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:22,521
I'm so sorry.
Did you say $600?
12
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,955
Can you believe this?
13
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,757
I mean, they have some nerve
expecting that the women around here
14
00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:28,927
are just going to line up
to exploit themselves.
15
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:32,263
Yeah, I hate waiting in line.
16
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,174
Dr. Solomon,
what are you doing?
17
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:45,010
Measuring my face.
18
00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:46,878
Why?
19
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,212
I've been putting it off.
20
00:00:50,983 --> 00:00:53,218
Oh, dick, I brought you
your lunch. Look!
21
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,921
Look. Playpen magazine is
coming to Pendleton university
22
00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,624
to look for women who will pose
naked, and I was thinking...
23
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:02,094
I am perfect for that.
24
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,162
You, Sally?
25
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,465
My little sister
posing for a nudie rag.
26
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:10,135
Your exposed body pinned up
inside every school boy's locker
27
00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:12,537
and mechanic's garage
across this entire country?
28
00:01:13,472 --> 00:01:15,340
Good for you!
29
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:18,509
Sally!
30
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,245
I'm going to go now
and sign up.
31
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,881
Good luck, baby!
32
00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:24,248
Sign up for what?
33
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:26,284
To pose for playpen magazine.
34
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:28,152
Pretty nifty, huh?
35
00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:30,388
Posing nude. You don't
have a problem with that?
36
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:31,423
Why should I?
37
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,457
Because it's so demeaning.
38
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,893
Why do you have
so many hang-ups
39
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,061
about the human body?
40
00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:40,432
Is it because
of all the hang-downs?
41
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:43,068
This is your sister
we're talking about.
42
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,969
So? She's just like
any other woman.
43
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:47,572
Women show their bodies
all the time.
44
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,474
Granted, there are variations
in the topography,
45
00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:52,844
but essentially,
it's all the same map.
46
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,382
I just think there's
something to be said
47
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,884
for good
old-fashioned modesty.
48
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,053
Wow, Dr. albright,
it only took you
49
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,456
20 years to change your tune.
50
00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:08,760
What's that supposed to mean?
51
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:09,994
That's when she posed naked.
52
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:11,930
Nina!
Mary...
53
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:13,431
You posed naked?
54
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,632
Buh-bye.
55
00:02:16,735 --> 00:02:18,436
Are you trying to tell me
that there are pictures
56
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,771
somewhere out there
of my Mary albright
57
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,507
naked as a jaywalker?
58
00:02:23,975 --> 00:02:27,178
They were very tasteful.
Just some black and white art photos.
59
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,612
Art photos!
60
00:02:28,614 --> 00:02:31,082
A sepia-toned snapshot
of old faithful--
61
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,517
that's an art photo.
62
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:35,753
But you just said
posing nude was fine.
63
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:39,557
For my little sister,
not my girlfriend!
64
00:03:09,755 --> 00:03:14,792
Captioning made possible by carsey-Werner
productions and the national broadcasting company
65
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:20,231
art...Smut...Smut...
66
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:22,801
Art...Smut.
67
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:23,901
Wait a minute.
That's smut?
68
00:03:23,903 --> 00:03:25,002
Yeah.
69
00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:27,138
But she's so much
nakeder than they are.
70
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:31,142
Yeah, but, you see, this is
Michelangelo and this is--
71
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,611
well, this is
Michael and angelo.
72
00:03:36,615 --> 00:03:38,983
I'm sorry. I just
don't see the difference.
73
00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:41,753
I mean, you tell me that
this is meant for arousal,
74
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:44,522
and this is meant for
aesthetic appreciation.
75
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,190
But when I look at them,
76
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:48,225
well, this woman
washing her sports car,
77
00:03:48,227 --> 00:03:50,028
she does nothing for me.
78
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,730
But this woman with
the apple and the snake.
79
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:58,269
Well, that's just hot.
80
00:04:01,340 --> 00:04:02,573
Tommy, do you have
a lab partner?
81
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:03,875
No.
82
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,144
Hers is out sick,
so she's with you.
83
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:10,982
Thanks.
84
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,383
Hi. I'm Alissa.
85
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,752
Yeah, I know. Uh, no,
I mean I'm Tommy.
86
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,821
That's my name.
I'm Tommy.
87
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,222
You know, I think we've been
in class together all year
88
00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:19,390
and we've never met.
89
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:22,160
No, we have not never met.
90
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,628
I'm--I'm Tommy.
91
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:27,331
Yeah, so, we're trying to get
these fruit flies to mate, huh?
92
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,666
Yeah.
93
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:29,733
Well, that's kind
of cold, isn't it?
94
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:31,836
I mean, they just met.
95
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,638
What?
96
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,207
Can you imagine meeting
somebody for the first time,
97
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:39,210
and then all of a sudden, there's
people trying to force you to mate?
98
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,712
That's a lot of pressure.
I couldn't do it.
99
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,148
Well, if my life span
was only for, like, a day,
100
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,751
I think I'd be ok with it.
101
00:04:48,721 --> 00:04:50,722
Let's let them go.
102
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:51,956
Are you serious?
103
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,524
No, I mean, they only
have one day to live,
104
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:54,726
they should enjoy their lives.
105
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:55,960
Let them go.
106
00:04:57,495 --> 00:04:59,263
All right. Ok.
No, I'll let them go.
107
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:00,832
I am letting them go.
108
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:04,936
Solomon, what are you doing?
109
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,604
Uh, I slipped.
110
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:07,839
Well, you get an "f."
111
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,611
Thank you so much.
112
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:15,246
I'm sorry.
I was just kidding.
113
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,680
You were kidding?
114
00:05:16,682 --> 00:05:18,349
I didn't know
you'd actually do it.
115
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,483
Yeah, well, I'm the kind of guy
116
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,186
that actually does things.
117
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:24,122
How was I supposed to know?
118
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:27,058
Go ahead and laugh.
I'm very upset.
119
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,859
No, you're not.
120
00:05:31,163 --> 00:05:32,564
No, I'm not.
121
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:36,033
I like your laugh.
122
00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,202
Oh, thank you.
123
00:05:43,075 --> 00:05:44,909
Ok, Sally, first thing.
124
00:05:44,911 --> 00:05:49,313
If you want to pose, you got
to have all the right moves.
125
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:52,383
I got the right moves, baby.
126
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:54,118
You don't have
the moves, do you?
127
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:55,220
No.
128
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,120
All right.
129
00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,221
Well, the first thing
you got to remember
130
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,424
is the women
in these magazines,
131
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:04,261
they always seemed surprised
to see their boobs.
132
00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:08,666
Like they're seeing them
for the first time.
133
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,435
That is so sexy.
134
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:12,336
So try to remember how it felt
135
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:14,973
the first time
you saw your boobs.
136
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:18,476
You know, like right after
we landed on earth.
137
00:06:19,945 --> 00:06:23,047
Aah!
138
00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:30,588
That's good.
139
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:34,558
Now try it after you discovered
how much fun they were.
140
00:06:36,461 --> 00:06:38,362
There you go!
141
00:06:40,165 --> 00:06:42,000
Oh, now, you also
got to remember
142
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,003
to look sort of
sleepy and paranoid.
143
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,404
Sleepy and paranoid?
144
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,305
Yeah, yeah, 'cause the
women in these magazines,
145
00:06:48,307 --> 00:06:50,675
they're always stretching,
146
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:54,378
looking behind themselves to
see if somebody's watching.
147
00:06:56,047 --> 00:06:58,716
Oh, I got this, baby, huh?
148
00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:01,218
Ooh, but don't smile, ok?
149
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,521
Guys don't like it
when a woman smiles.
150
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,788
They like them pouty.
151
00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,558
Or angry.
152
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,625
Angrier!
153
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:09,727
Hate me. Good!
154
00:07:11,463 --> 00:07:13,330
Now, you're on a safari.
155
00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:14,966
You're listening to the birds,
156
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,133
but you're sleepy.
157
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:17,468
Good!
158
00:07:18,837 --> 00:07:20,204
You're looking
through binoculars,
159
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,605
but you're angry.
160
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,773
Nice!
161
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:23,908
You're being chased by a tiger,
162
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:25,676
and it's just about
to catch you.
163
00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:28,212
All of a sudden,
you see your boobs!
164
00:07:40,192 --> 00:07:43,494
Dr. Solomon, I wouldn't
normally ask this,
165
00:07:43,496 --> 00:07:45,863
but are you going to teach?
166
00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,064
I've got too much on my mind.
167
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,366
Like what?
168
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,035
Like women lewdly
exposing themselves
169
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,003
to prurient and
lascivious shutterbugs.
170
00:07:53,005 --> 00:07:54,038
That's what.
171
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,674
Oh, well, I know how
you feel, Dr. Solomon,
172
00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:59,777
which is why we're staging
a protest this Friday.
173
00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:00,845
Oh, shut up, caryn.
174
00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:04,482
This has nothing to do with
your stupid little pep rally.
175
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,584
This is about someone that
I'm deeply involved with.
176
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:07,552
Dr. albright?
177
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,153
How did you know?
178
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,122
Have you seen the pictures?
179
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:13,224
What, there are pictures
of Dr. albright?
180
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,993
There are no naked pictures!
181
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:17,862
Naked pictures
of Dr. albright?
182
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:18,930
Cool.
183
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,231
I'd like to see those.
184
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,567
Oh, over my dead body!
185
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,135
Look at you. You're all
obsessed with nudity.
186
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,704
And it's dirty,
filthy, and vile!
187
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:28,005
It's not dirty,
Dr. Solomon.
188
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,874
We all come into
this world naked.
189
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,976
I didn't.
190
00:08:52,063 --> 00:08:53,297
Hi, dick.
191
00:08:58,070 --> 00:09:00,304
Harry, are you naked
or am I seeing things?
192
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,574
Why, actually,
it's a little of both.
193
00:09:05,410 --> 00:09:07,178
No, you know, I was
just trying to figure out
194
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,413
if this whole clothing thing
is just a big scam.
195
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:10,581
And you know what?
196
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:12,316
I'm starting to think
that it is.
197
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:14,819
Hey, guys, what do you think
198
00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:16,287
I should wear
to school tomorrow?
199
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,255
El nada!
200
00:09:19,358 --> 00:09:20,958
Why? What's going on
at school?
201
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,395
This girl Alissa.
202
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:26,864
I've never felt this way
about a girl before.
203
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:29,133
She's so different.
You know what I mean?
204
00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,869
I don't even know how to
explain it, but she's--
205
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,505
she's just absolutely amazing.
206
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,107
Am I--am I nuts?
207
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,876
Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.
208
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:42,146
Oh, yes, I've ridden
on that bus, too.
209
00:09:42,148 --> 00:09:45,549
What you're going through
is exactly what I felt
210
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,984
when I first met Mary.
211
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:51,822
Mary? This is nothing like
how you felt about Mary.
212
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:54,024
This is love.
Do you understand?
213
00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:56,794
Love. You don't know
what love is.
214
00:09:56,796 --> 00:10:00,765
You will never know
what love is.
215
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,599
Tommy, when Mary and I--
216
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,635
can't I have anything
of my own?
217
00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,308
You want me to go
kick his butt?
218
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,708
Stay where you are!
219
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,584
♪ don shaft
220
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,554
oh, don, I'm so glad
you're still here.
221
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,788
Hey, Sally, what's up?
222
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,091
You know playpen magazine?
223
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:30,160
No.
224
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,396
Sure, you do. You keep
them under the couch.
225
00:10:34,566 --> 00:10:36,066
Oh, those?
Those aren't mine.
226
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,436
Those came with the couch.
227
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:41,172
Oh, God, now you
think I'm a perv.
228
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:44,074
No, I don't. You like
to look at naked ladies.
229
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,876
It's perfectly normal.
230
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:48,813
Why, yes, it is.
231
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,014
That's why I couldn't
wait to tell you.
232
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,749
I am so excited.
233
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,785
I've decided to pose
for playpen.
234
00:10:57,055 --> 00:10:57,989
Isn't that great?
235
00:10:59,324 --> 00:11:01,892
You, Sally, pose naked?!
236
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:03,161
What's the matter, don?
237
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,461
What's the matter?
238
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,931
Sally, I don't want you posing
naked for some magazine.
239
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,733
But you love these magazines.
240
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,669
I mean, you must.
This one's falling apart.
241
00:11:12,671 --> 00:11:14,037
No!
242
00:11:14,039 --> 00:11:15,739
That's different.
243
00:11:15,741 --> 00:11:18,309
How? Well, they're
not you, that's how.
244
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,678
Listen, Sally, I know what kind
of people read these things
245
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,013
and what they're
thinking when I do.
246
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:29,653
And I'm sorry, but you are
not posing and that's final!
247
00:11:36,094 --> 00:11:41,198
Well, take a good long look
at these babies, don,
248
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,500
'cause the next time
you see them,
249
00:11:43,502 --> 00:11:46,070
they'll be in a magazine!
250
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,271
Aah!
251
00:11:51,442 --> 00:11:53,076
What's the matter
with these women?
252
00:11:53,078 --> 00:11:55,813
You give and give, and all
they want to do is pose naked.
253
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,515
Yeah.
254
00:11:57,517 --> 00:12:00,250
And then they cover it up by calling it art.
What a bunch of hooey.
255
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,351
When those pictures come out,
256
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,420
my life is going
to be a living hell.
257
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:05,189
It makes my blood run cold.
258
00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:08,359
My angel is a centerfold.
259
00:12:09,594 --> 00:12:11,795
Some scum of the earth
dirt peddler
260
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,997
is out there with pictures
of my Mary albright,
261
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,066
and what can I do?
262
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,268
You can get
those pictures back.
263
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,369
Will you help me?
264
00:12:19,371 --> 00:12:20,571
Damn right I will.
265
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,473
Will you abuse your
police powers to do it?
266
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:25,309
I think that's a given.
267
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,244
You're a man among men, don.
268
00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,546
A man among men.
269
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:30,581
More chips?
270
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:31,715
Yeah.
271
00:12:38,756 --> 00:12:40,457
I'm just getting a cookie.
272
00:12:44,228 --> 00:12:45,696
Maybe a chip.
273
00:12:57,609 --> 00:13:00,177
hey, I thought you guys
were coming over.
274
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:01,345
What?
275
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,013
Oh, right. I forgot
to invite you.
276
00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:05,549
Well, hey, now that I'm here,
277
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,551
I was wondering if I could, um,
278
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,019
discuss something with you.
279
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:11,689
You know,
one pin-up to another.
280
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:15,326
Oh, well, I hardly
consider myself a pin-up.
281
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:18,028
Ha ha, well, duh, not anymore.
282
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,730
You see, listen...
283
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,999
Don and I got into
this real huge fight
284
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,802
and now he's forbidding me
to pose in the magazine.
285
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,003
Oh, that is so typical.
286
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,838
Men are so territorial.
287
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,706
Like they have a deed
to your body.
288
00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:33,543
Exactly. I pose for a few
photos in an art class
289
00:13:33,545 --> 00:13:35,479
20 years before
I even knew dick,
290
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,781
and he is so bent out of shape.
291
00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:41,585
You guys, it's just that
don is really, really upset.
292
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:44,154
Well, boo-hoo
for don.
293
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,557
See, I just don't know
if I should pose or not.
294
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,558
Why, just because
don thinks he owns you?
295
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,861
He can't tell you
what to do with your body.
296
00:13:50,863 --> 00:13:53,898
That's right. If we are ever going
to make any progress as women,
297
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,666
we've got to do
what we want to do
298
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,068
and not what our
boyfriends tell us to do.
299
00:13:58,070 --> 00:13:59,503
So, I should pose?
300
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:03,074
If you want don to
respect you as a woman,
301
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,809
you have to.
302
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:21,125
Hey, Tommy, you want a blt?
303
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:22,325
No, I'm not hungry.
304
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:23,627
Oh, what's wrong?
305
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:25,962
Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Aah!
306
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,301
It's this girl Alissa,
you know.
307
00:14:31,303 --> 00:14:32,703
She didn't show up
to class today.
308
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,038
So?
309
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,707
So--so obviously she thinks
I'm such a loser
310
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,343
that she'd rather transfer
to another class
311
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:40,911
than be my lab partner.
312
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,381
Maybe she's sick.
313
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,482
Sick?
314
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,751
Yeah, you know,
the flu's going around.
315
00:14:47,819 --> 00:14:51,388
Sick. She's sick.
That's great!
316
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,689
Harry, you're brilliant!
317
00:14:52,691 --> 00:14:54,125
Oh, I know--
318
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,260
oh, ah, ah, ah, aah!
319
00:14:57,595 --> 00:14:58,963
Aah!
320
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:08,139
Ha ha, look at this smut.
321
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,339
Hi, can I help you?
322
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,108
All right, buddy, where are they?
Dick!
323
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,409
What are you
talking about, man?
324
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,844
Don't play dumb with me,
Buster, the pictures.
325
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:14,845
Where are the pictures?
326
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,048
Dick, sit down,
sit down, sit down!
327
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:20,251
I'll handle this.
328
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,386
He's a little upset.
329
00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:24,921
It seems that you
took naked pictures
330
00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:26,823
of his girlfriend 20 years ago
331
00:15:26,825 --> 00:15:28,659
and he wants them back.
332
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,261
20 years ago?
333
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,329
Man, I've taken pictures
of thousands of people.
334
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,364
There's no way I'm
going to remember her.
335
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:35,899
The name's Mary albright.
336
00:15:35,901 --> 00:15:38,035
Oh, yeah, what a hottie!
337
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,069
Oh, I'll kill him!
338
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:41,338
Let him go!
Let him go!
339
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:43,741
Let...Him...Go!
340
00:15:58,856 --> 00:15:59,957
Tommy.
341
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,224
Hi.
342
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,526
What are you doing here?
343
00:16:02,528 --> 00:16:05,095
Uh, well, I was just
in the neighborhood,
344
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:06,964
and I thought I'd stop by
and, you know,
345
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,766
see--see how
you're feeling.
346
00:16:08,768 --> 00:16:11,802
Oh, uh, well, I was
barfing a lot earlier
347
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:15,973
and now I'm not
barfing as much.
348
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:17,574
Oh, I brought you some soup.
349
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:21,211
Uh, you know that they say
that it's good, um, food.
350
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,579
You brought me soup.
351
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:24,915
Yeah, yeah,
to help you feel better.
352
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,384
Do you always bring soup
to girls you like?
353
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:31,321
L-l-like? You?
No, no, I don't like you.
354
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,624
No, no, no, I mean
I don't hate you.
355
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,293
I mean I just met you,
but I don't like you,
356
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:37,794
you know, like you.
357
00:16:37,796 --> 00:16:39,529
Then why'd you bring me soup?
358
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:42,232
Because--because you're my
lab partner, that's why.
359
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:45,669
It's strictly, uh, strictly
lab-related gesture here.
360
00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:48,505
Yeah, but to jump
to me liking you,
361
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,007
that's uh, that's very, uh,
you're jumping.
362
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,242
I mean, maybe you like me.
363
00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:53,443
You know, maybe that's it.
364
00:16:53,445 --> 00:16:55,579
In--in which case,
we can talk.
365
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,113
But--but ok, look,
366
00:16:57,115 --> 00:16:58,448
I'm trying to preserve
a little dignity here.
367
00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:02,019
You know, so why don't you
just give me back my soup?
368
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,854
Tommy, I'm sorry.
369
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,289
I shouldn't have said anything.
Now I feel stupid.
370
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,057
Yeah, well, there you have it.
371
00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:10,394
See ya!
Yeah, ok.
372
00:17:27,412 --> 00:17:29,413
Good-bye, naked Mary.
373
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:33,817
You shall taunt me no more.
374
00:17:42,593 --> 00:17:44,628
Oh, my God!
375
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,530
These are beautiful.
376
00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:47,798
The light...
377
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,266
The lines...
378
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:50,801
The legs...
379
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,303
The loins.
380
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,239
What are you doing?
381
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,976
Mary, I was looking
at your pictures.
382
00:17:58,978 --> 00:17:59,843
What pictures?
Of you.
383
00:17:59,845 --> 00:18:01,245
From where?
In the buff.
384
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,146
No!
Yes!
385
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:04,347
Where did you get those?
386
00:18:04,349 --> 00:18:05,548
I roughed up the photographer.
387
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:06,383
You what?!
388
00:18:06,385 --> 00:18:07,517
And I was going
to destroy them.
389
00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:09,820
Oh, you're a jealous fool,
dick Solomon.
390
00:18:10,822 --> 00:18:13,256
And then I saw them.
391
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:14,257
Look.
No.
392
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:16,126
No, no, Mary, look.
393
00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:20,497
Boy, I was a hottie, wasn't I?
394
00:18:21,632 --> 00:18:23,466
You sure were.
395
00:18:23,468 --> 00:18:25,201
I wish I looked like that now.
396
00:18:25,203 --> 00:18:27,104
Oh, Mary, no.
397
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,673
I think that you've aged
like a fine wine.
398
00:18:30,675 --> 00:18:32,509
And I've been off
the bottle for too long.
399
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:42,986
Oh, dick...Stop.
400
00:18:42,988 --> 00:18:46,356
Come on, Mary. Let's
take some pictures.
401
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:48,225
Oh, we can't.
402
00:18:48,227 --> 00:18:49,292
Then let's just get naked.
403
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:50,894
Dick!
404
00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:52,062
Lock the doors!
405
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:04,008
Chunky chicken.
406
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,542
What?
407
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,878
The soup. Good call.
408
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:13,017
Oh, thank you.
I'm glad you liked it.
409
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:14,585
Excuse me for just a second.
410
00:19:34,472 --> 00:19:36,773
Sally, aren't you
supposed to be
411
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,442
cavorting naked in front
of a camera right now?
412
00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:44,080
Yeah, I'm supposed to be,
but they didn't want me.
413
00:19:44,082 --> 00:19:45,649
Why?
414
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:47,884
I'm too old.
415
00:19:47,886 --> 00:19:49,920
What? No.
416
00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:53,891
He said that I was too old-looking
to be a college student.
417
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:56,693
I mean, really, dick, do I look
too old to be a college student?
418
00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:58,128
You?
419
00:20:01,432 --> 00:20:02,899
Well, if you think
of yourself as someone
420
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:05,435
who's dropped out for a few
years to explore the world,
421
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:10,106
then, yeah, yeah, you do
look a little old.
422
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:12,275
Oh, dick.
423
00:20:12,277 --> 00:20:14,277
Oh, come here.
424
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:18,081
Oh, Sally, Sally, Sally.
425
00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:23,720
There's a ripeness that
comes with growing older.
426
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,188
Maybe it's what
they call maturity,
427
00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:27,190
but it's what I call beauty.
428
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:28,825
And you, Sally...
429
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:32,162
You grow more beautiful
every day.
430
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,531
You think so?
431
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,333
Well, look at you.
432
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:38,568
Your big, beautiful eyes...
433
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,937
Your long, silky hair...
434
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:43,140
The curve of your neck...
435
00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:45,976
Your supple white skin...
436
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:48,344
Your sexy red lips.
437
00:20:50,114 --> 00:20:52,616
I'm a little creeped out
right now.
438
00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:58,054
So, don must have been relieved
439
00:20:58,056 --> 00:20:59,689
that you're not
posing for playpen.
440
00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:01,190
Yeah, well, he was at first,
441
00:21:01,192 --> 00:21:03,493
then he got ticked off
that they turned me down.
442
00:21:03,495 --> 00:21:05,161
He got so angry,
443
00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:08,198
he canceled
his lifetime subscription.
444
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,200
Whoa, really?
445
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:12,736
Yeah. He's going
year to year now.
446
00:21:14,205 --> 00:21:15,572
Yeah, he's a great guy, don.
447
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:18,942
Yeah, so, hey,
you seen Alissa naked yet?
448
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,377
Oh, no, no, no, Sally,
it's not like that.
449
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,012
You see, what I feel
towards her,
450
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:24,114
it's on a much
higher plane, you know.
451
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,451
Based on her intelligence
and her charisma
452
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,353
and her inner beauty.
453
00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:32,322
But, boy, I'd like to.
454
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:36,860
Captioning made possible by carsey-Werner
productions and the national broadcasting company
455
00:21:37,762 --> 00:21:39,162
now, do you see the use
456
00:21:39,164 --> 00:21:40,898
of shadow and light
in this one?
457
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:41,999
Now, that is art.
458
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,099
Oh, yeah.
459
00:21:43,101 --> 00:21:44,568
Did you see this one, Leon?
460
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:45,569
No.
461
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,838
Oh, Dr. Solomon,
462
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,839
you're a lucky man.
463
00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,974
Thank you, bug.
464
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,609
Dr. Solomon, I just don't
think that this is at all--
465
00:21:52,611 --> 00:21:54,411
oh, shut up, caryn.
466
00:21:54,413 --> 00:21:56,479
And this one
she just goes all out.
467
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:57,848
That's what I like about it.
468
00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:59,616
Dick, you wanted to see me?
469
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:00,850
Here she is, guys!
470
00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:03,654
Captioning performed by the
national captioning institute, inc.
471
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,056
Public performance of captions prohibited without
permission of national captioning institute
32789
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