All language subtitles for scrubs.s08e10.My Comedy Show.eng
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1
00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:04,293
Okay, Mr. Rego,
2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,396
I know you've been complaining
about the bedpans being too cold,
3
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:11,342
so I used an incubator in pediatrics
to warm this bad boy up for you. Enjoy.
4
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:16,344
You know, I used to use an incubator
to keep my lunch warm.
5
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,782
Till some whiny new mom complained
6
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,012
that her preemie smelled
like a ham sandwich.
7
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:23,284
Weird thing was,
I had a tuna melt in there, not ham.
8
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:27,657
Most newborns smell amazing.
An unlucky few are ham babies.
9
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,493
Oh! God, here comes
the happiest person on the planet.
10
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:36,730
Hi! Hey! You look so beautiful today.
11
00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,204
Hi! Hi, Katie!
12
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,707
All the interns are going out for drinks.
Do you wanna come?
13
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,709
Yeah, I'll get my stuff.
14
00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:45,210
How about you, dude-chick?
15
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,536
No, I'm gonna stay here
and catch up on my scut work.
16
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:49,480
You can try as hard as you want
not to be my friend,
17
00:00:49,516 --> 00:00:51,814
but eventually I'm gonna get you.
Come on, Howie.
18
00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:53,341
If I get drunk enough,
I'll undo my scrub bottoms
19
00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:55,149
and let you do a shot off my butt.
20
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,587
All right.
21
00:00:57,824 --> 00:00:59,291
I've noticed that
you always stay here late
22
00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:02,294
- and work after your shift is over.
- I get a lot of work.
23
00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:04,023
If you don't get out of the hospital
every once in a while
24
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,227
and blow off some steam,
this place will eventually crush you.
25
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:09,292
So go, okay? For me.
26
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,995
- Fine.
- Great.
27
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:17,268
Oh, my God, Caitlin,
that baby's beautiful.
28
00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:21,241
Ham baby.
29
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:25,816
What? Hell no.
30
00:01:32,525 --> 00:01:33,924
Got you.
31
00:01:38,231 --> 00:01:39,926
Holy mackerel!
32
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:42,400
Oh, my God. This can't get any worse.
33
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:45,495
That is one long-ass booby hair.
34
00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:51,073
J.D.: Like most hospitals,Sacred Heart makes their interns
35
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:54,103
put on a sketch showroasting the senior staff.
36
00:01:54,147 --> 00:01:57,412
It was never any good,but this year it would be.
37
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:02,217
Okay, people, before we begin,
you need to accept one simple truth.
38
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:06,385
- We are funny, and you are not.
- Sucks to hear, doesn't it?
39
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:10,021
We will be writing all of your sketches.
You're welcome. Let's jump right in.
40
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:13,726
I need two volunteers to go full frontal.
Howie?
41
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,358
No, I have eczema.
42
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:18,829
Sunny, Denise? Maybe rubbing
some oil on one another?
43
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,635
- Yeah, sure, no problem.
- No, not at all.
44
00:02:20,673 --> 00:02:22,971
Okay, well,
then let's cut the leukemia sketch.
45
00:02:23,009 --> 00:02:24,476
Dude, no, that sketch is gold.
46
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,638
Well, if they're not naked,
they're just sad and dying.
47
00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:28,340
What's funny about that?
48
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:30,815
- We make them British.
- Good save.
49
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,683
It's back in, but only because
this man is a comic genius.
50
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,780
I have been called
the black Wayne Brady.
51
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,518
Okay, try and believe in us, guys.
52
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:42,688
This thing has not been funny
for eight years, when we were interns.
53
00:02:44,030 --> 00:02:48,399
I love JesusAnd, Jesus, he loves me
54
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:52,371
One, two, three, Jesus!
55
00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:56,273
- I sure do love me some Jesus.
- I know, Laverne.
56
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:57,503
You rang?
57
00:02:57,544 --> 00:03:00,945
The Messiah, ladies and gentlemen.
The Messiah.
58
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:03,073
Shalom and nanu-nanu, my friends.
59
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:06,517
- Oh! Hell no.
- Front row.
60
00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:12,050
There will be a 20-minute intermission.
61
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:14,258
I never saw her coming.
62
00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:17,161
She was killed in a car accident.
I miss her.
63
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:21,264
Anyway, let's be funny for her.
64
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:26,038
I can't do this all on my own
65
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,699
No, I know
66
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,674
I'm no Superman
67
00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,345
I'm no Superman
68
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,912
Hey, will you hand me
those blood gas reports, Sonja?
69
00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,386
You can call me "Sunny."
70
00:03:41,421 --> 00:03:44,515
My dad nicknamed me that
because he said I brighten up a room.
71
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,821
Of course, in college,
I had a few dark years.
72
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:49,555
My car was stolen, I had three...
73
00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:53,896
Was it three? No, four.
I had four abortions.
74
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,368
I'm joking!
75
00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:59,369
I'm gonna kill you with a hammer.
76
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:04,102
- Why are you laughing?
- 'Cause I'm scared. I'm not that strong.
77
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,705
So, how was last night, Denise?
78
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,307
I ended up staying here
and finishing my casework.
79
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,612
What the hell?
80
00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:14,279
At least with my patients,
I'm used to being ignored.
81
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,948
Like with Mr. Cooper
after his triple bypass.
82
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,514
I told him to start eating healthier,
83
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,856
he goes right back
to scarfing down bacon burgers.
84
00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:23,327
And you wanna know
where he is now, Denise?
85
00:04:23,363 --> 00:04:27,129
- He's dead, isn't he?
- No, he just moved back to Phoenix.
86
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:28,360
I was going to say that he was dead,
87
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:31,837
but I think saying that about people
who are still alive is a huge jinx.
88
00:04:31,871 --> 00:04:34,305
Look, when I kicked you out
of the hospital last night...
89
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:39,167
Please don't be Mr. Cooper dead.
Please don't be Mr. Cooper dead.
90
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,578
Nope, just my mom. Ignore.
91
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,276
Look, I promise
I'll get out of the hospital tonight. Okay?
92
00:04:44,317 --> 00:04:47,650
Deal. Now come on.
I want you guys both to see this case.
93
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,349
She's a 16-year-old girl
with cyclical neutropenia.
94
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:54,588
It's a rare disorder that periodically
shuts down her entire immune system.
95
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:57,528
Basically, every three weeks
she almost dies.
96
00:04:57,563 --> 00:04:59,861
Hey, Brianna, Mrs. Tarasi.
97
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,526
Just wanted to introduce you
to Sunny and Denise.
98
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,558
They're the interns
who'll be covering the floor today.
99
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:04,865
Oh! Cool.
100
00:05:04,904 --> 00:05:07,998
If you guys give me your cell numbers,
I can text you if I need anything.
101
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,703
These kids with their texting
and their cell phones.
102
00:05:10,743 --> 00:05:14,440
- Our generation never had that stuff.
- Yeah.
103
00:05:14,947 --> 00:05:16,437
I just kind of feel like, I don't know,
104
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,679
there's three generations
in the room right now.
105
00:05:20,186 --> 00:05:23,087
If you want to instant message me,
my screen name is Sunnyhoneybunny.
106
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:24,612
Of course it is.
107
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,820
- Do you have teenagers?
- How old do you think I am?
108
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:31,992
- What's up?
- Where have you been?
109
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:33,896
- Oh!
- How could you be late?
110
00:05:33,933 --> 00:05:35,491
This is our sketch show!
111
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:36,559
Our sketch show!
112
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,728
Our sketch show!
113
00:05:39,138 --> 00:05:41,504
That's cool, man.
It's just a sketch show.
114
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:43,168
J.D.: Our sketch show!
115
00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:46,975
Okay, let's assign sketches.
Partner up, please.
116
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:51,178
Yikes.
117
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,612
I'll be with Denise. Problem solved!
118
00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:57,680
Can we go now?
119
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:02,958
Good morning. Okay, I think
we should just get this out in the open.
120
00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:06,556
I saw you pluck your special hair
the other day.
121
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,107
I was there. I saw.
122
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:18,303
Question is,
what are we gonna do about it?
123
00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:21,177
I have an idea. Let me speak first.
May I? Good.
124
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,681
I believe that
you should give me the hair,
125
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:24,842
because I've been scrapbooking
the most disgusting things
126
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,079
that I can think of,
and I want to put it on the page
127
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,112
in between my decayed molars
and my snug,
128
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:33,387
which is a snail-slug hybrid
129
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:37,522
that I was able to splice together
in my garage unsuccessfully.
130
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,088
We didn't see each other yesterday.
131
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,669
Well, that was unexpected.
132
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:47,564
Thank you.
133
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:50,599
Okay, Brianna,
your chest x-ray looks good.
134
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:52,372
We should be able
to get you home tomorrow.
135
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,436
I'm just gonna go talk to your mom
136
00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,709
about some changes
in your medication.
137
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,841
Aren't moms the greatest?
138
00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:01,411
My mom bought me
these scrubs last week, just because.
139
00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:03,581
Oh! And this morning,
I found this little note.
140
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:06,387
It says, "You're super special."
141
00:07:07,326 --> 00:07:10,523
If that's what moms do,
I'm glad I never met mine.
142
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,929
"Look at me, I'm dark and edgy."
143
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:16,128
I love my mom,
but I wish she would ease up a little.
144
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:18,433
I mean, I know I'm sick,
but not all the time,
145
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:20,962
and she still never lets me
leave the house.
146
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,407
You know, I've never had a date.
147
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,468
It's like she's so freaked out
about me dying
148
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,843
that she won't let me have a life.
149
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:31,714
- She doesn't want your stupid note.
- You don't know that.
150
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:38,055
- Do I know you?
- I'm a friend.
151
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:41,526
What is Jimmy
the overly-touchy orderly doing here?
152
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,325
Dude, he does amazing impressions.
He's a ringer.
153
00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,160
We can put him in any bit
that's not working.
154
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,564
Like the Dr. Wen sketch.
155
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:51,029
It's almost show time.
Let's work out some of the kinks.
156
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:54,062
You guys doing the Dr. Cox sketch,
make sure you
157
00:07:57,443 --> 00:08:00,310
Really stretch out all your words, okay?
158
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,405
And under no circumstances
are you to tell him
159
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:04,814
that I wrote the joke implying
he may have a sports car
160
00:08:04,851 --> 00:08:06,478
because he has a small penis.
161
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:10,046
Unless he finds it hilarious,
at which point you will break character
162
00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:13,149
and say, "John Dorian wrote that joke."
163
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:17,026
I will then stand,
give a humble nod, like so,
164
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:19,088
and then gesture for you to continue.
165
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:21,929
Meghan, you're playing Carla.
That's my wife.
166
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:25,028
Please show some respect.
Kathy, you're playing Elliot.
167
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:28,472
So I wanna see some bug-eyes,
all right? And... Perfect!
168
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,499
Plus, find some cardboard,
169
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,704
stick it down
the back of your pants, right?
170
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:35,077
Make that ass flat, girl.
Let me see what you got right now.
171
00:08:35,114 --> 00:08:37,207
- Yeah, we could go flatter.
- We can go flatter.
172
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,877
- We can go flatter.
- You know, I've chewed on that thing
173
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,113
- and it's flatter than day-old beer.
- I gotta tell you.
174
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:43,314
You know what? I made a funny.
Turk, rewrite.
175
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,347
I am already on it.
176
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:48,189
Katie, dynamite Beardface costume.
177
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:52,687
- I can't see anything in this.
- Performers find a way, Katie.
178
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:56,168
Use your other senses.
Where are Sunny and Denise?
179
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,669
Well, you know,
they're supposed to be...
180
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:59,728
No, thank you. Cool.
181
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,633
They're supposed to be playing us,
182
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:04,074
but they haven't picked up
their scripts or anything.
183
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,809
Hey, Dr. Reid,
can we talk to you about Brianna?
184
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,711
Her mom is being
way too over-protective.
185
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,615
Unfortunately, my lady,
I saw what I saw.
186
00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:16,088
You either plucked a giant hair,
or you have mini chest snakes.
187
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,352
Maybe you're just imagining things.
188
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,656
Like that time you thought you built
a giant sand castle in the parking lot.
189
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:24,060
Or the time you said you hung J.D.
Up like a flag,
190
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:26,030
totally defying the laws of physics.
191
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,262
- I did those things.
- Did you?
192
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:32,999
At least I thought I...
Head games aren't gonna work on me.
193
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,633
Unfortunately for you,
I have a photographic memory.
194
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:38,644
For instance,
I arrived here yesterday at 7:45 a.m.
195
00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,168
At 7:50 a.m., I took a nap.
196
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:42,043
At 2:45 p.m., I awoke to find you
197
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:46,040
plucking a comically large hair
off of your baby-feeder.
198
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,347
I then took my afternoon nap,
199
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:49,650
then I went on break,
and then I went home.
200
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:52,089
Couldn't sleep a wink.
Damnedest thing.
201
00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:53,883
Sad.
202
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,488
Stop walking away from me.
203
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,490
And now I'm sleepy again.
204
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,831
Brianna should totally get
to live her life.
205
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,460
I'm gonna go talk to her mom.
206
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:05,970
But you guys gotta do me a favor.
207
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:07,267
She's really starting to get in my head
208
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:08,568
with this whole
we're-the-same-age thing.
209
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,633
So I'm just gonna start
throwing out numbers
210
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:12,007
and you guys stop me
whenever I get to the age
211
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:13,136
you think I look like. Okay?
212
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:17,206
22, 23, 24, 25, 25, 25...
213
00:10:17,249 --> 00:10:19,308
You know what?
This is a really stupid game, okay?
214
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,115
Aren't you guys late
for some sketch show?
215
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:22,347
Crap.
216
00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:24,247
Idiots.
217
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:27,923
Isn't this fun, running together?
218
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,791
- Shut up, Sunny.
- Okay.
219
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:35,290
- Oh, my God, I'm so nervous.
- Welcome to live theater.
220
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,358
Mmm-hmm.
221
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,862
I'm Bob Kelso.
222
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:44,637
And my life is so empty
that I still come here every day
223
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,406
to stuff my face with muffins.
224
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,843
And I like prostitutes.
225
00:10:51,617 --> 00:10:53,812
That's funny 'cause it's true.
226
00:10:56,355 --> 00:10:59,483
Hey, I'm The Todd. Wow.
227
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:03,124
Looks like we got a full house.
I got a full house in my pants.
228
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:09,591
Hello. I'm Dr. Beardface.
229
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:12,028
I was up all night sewing.
230
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:17,008
- My beard is only this big.
- Lighten up, Seymour. I took my lumps.
231
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:20,710
Okay, one last chance to admit
the truth before this gets ugly.
232
00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:23,738
- Did I see the nipple hair or not?
- You did not.
233
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:24,977
Beardface!
234
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,314
And so it begins.
235
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:31,487
Hi, I'm Dr. Wen, and it's an honor
to have you as a patient, Owen Wilson.
236
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,687
Oh! Come on, Doc.
What about patient-doctor privacy?
237
00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:36,524
How's that supposed to make me feel?
238
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:39,395
- Mr. Jack Black.
- Thanks, buddy.
239
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:42,466
Sacred Heart!
240
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:48,939
- Mr. Brad Pitt.
- Thank you, Dr. Wen.
241
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:52,000
I do have to say it's very hard
covering the medical bill
242
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:53,636
when you have 14 children.
243
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,240
You know,
people are always asking me,
244
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,978
"Hey, hey, Dane Cook.
Hey, Dane Cook."
245
00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:00,042
Yeah, they use my full name.
246
00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:02,350
Hey, what's the deal
with tongue depressors?
247
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,787
Is it supposed to make your tongue sad
or something?
248
00:12:03,823 --> 00:12:07,884
Like, taste it... This muffin tastes sad.
Why do people find me funny?
249
00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:11,796
Dude, we gave them too much Jimmy.
250
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,767
- J.D.: Off the stage, Jimmy!
- Okay, Jimmy. Yay!
251
00:12:16,836 --> 00:12:21,364
Hi, everyone. We're gonna do a sketch
about Dr. Dorian and Dr. Turk.
252
00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:23,973
I don't even know
what we're supposed to do.
253
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,909
- Just follow my lead.
- Okay.
254
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:31,516
- Look at your mole.
- It's huge!
255
00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,814
Here are those lab reports
you wanted, Turk.
256
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:37,823
Thanks. I did need those, J.D.
257
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:40,223
J.D.: They're bombing.
- Well, it serves them right.
258
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:43,820
Man, who cares about them?
We did it! We did the whole thing!
259
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,058
Goodbye, J.D. Thank you so much for...
260
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:53,466
How is that funny?
261
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:05,044
Hey, Dr. Reid, did you get a chance
to talk to Brianna's mom?
262
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,278
- Well, I'll tell you...
- Hey, Denise,
263
00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:09,082
we're all going out for drinks
to celebrate. You wanna come?
264
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,816
No, I'm gonna stay and study.
265
00:13:10,856 --> 00:13:13,484
And you broke your promise yet again.
Shocking.
266
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:16,285
Look, I promise
I'll go out tomorrow night, okay?
267
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:18,523
So, what did Brianna's mom say?
268
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:20,263
You know, I've been thinking about it.
269
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:23,166
I mean, we have really no idea
what that woman's going through.
270
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:26,035
I mean, who's to say that
she isn't right to be so cautious?
271
00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:30,132
After all, it's her daughter.
So I decided not to talk to her.
272
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:32,337
It's really none of our business.
273
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:49,020
J.D.: Today was the fifth anniversaryof the time
274
00:13:49,061 --> 00:13:51,757
Turk and I met David Carusoon a Ferris wheel.
275
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:54,129
Usually, to celebrate,Turk would lift me in the air
276
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:57,135
while I straddled himand yelled "Eagle!"
277
00:13:57,169 --> 00:14:00,536
But this morning, I somehow knewthat wasn't gonna happen.
278
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,373
- Hey.
- Hey.
279
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,309
J.D.: Eagle.
280
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,335
Elliot didn't seem like herself, either.
281
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:09,472
I don't care what you think is right
for Brianna.
282
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:13,542
Okay, if either of you hassles her mom,
there will be consequences. Bad ones.
283
00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:20,421
- Okay, why are you smiling?
- I can't help it. It's permanent.
284
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:23,893
Donny, muffin, please.
285
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,128
Not bran. Better.
286
00:14:29,101 --> 00:14:30,125
What do you want?
287
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,160
I'm getting ready to torture
Nurse Chest-Whiskers,
288
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:33,228
but it's her word against mine,
289
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:35,705
so I need you to verify
yesterday's incident.
290
00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:38,471
What incident?
I wasn't even here yesterday.
291
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:39,534
You were there.
292
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:41,102
Excuse me. What?
293
00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,444
Shh!
He's standing right here.
294
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:46,451
- Me?
- Okay, I'll tell him.
295
00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:50,653
My muffin thinks you're crazy
and she wants you to go.
296
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:54,617
You tell your muffin that I think
she's crazy. Maybe she should go.
297
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:55,820
No.
298
00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,655
What is happening to me?
299
00:15:03,535 --> 00:15:04,559
Nice job.
300
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:08,637
That lady has no idea
what's good for her daughter.
301
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:12,235
I know. I just want to go over there
and smush her face.
302
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,041
So this is you mad?
303
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,741
Did you hear me? Like, just smush it.
304
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,647
So go talk to her.
305
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,050
I mean, you're both
sort of almost doctors.
306
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,748
Part of that is
doing what you think is right.
307
00:15:23,789 --> 00:15:25,848
- Let's do this.
- Okay, try to act tough.
308
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:27,857
And forget it.
309
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,462
Oh! So, now we can't sit
on the same side of the table?
310
00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:36,900
- We never do that.
- We always do up here.
311
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,335
Why did that sketch
bother us so much?
312
00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:41,703
- We've always joked about our little...
- Don't say it, okay? I hate that word.
313
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,231
It's a bromance, Turk. You can't fight it.
314
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,272
It never bothered me before
315
00:15:46,312 --> 00:15:48,007
because I thought
it was our stupid little joke
316
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:50,277
that Elliot and Carla were in on.
317
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:54,315
But I didn't know that's how
the whole hospital views us, man.
318
00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,377
J. D?
319
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:59,321
- Pretty great, huh?
- Well, when you're right, you're right.
320
00:15:59,358 --> 00:16:01,053
- Yeah.
- So, how's your day going?
321
00:16:01,093 --> 00:16:02,720
It's pretty good so far.
322
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:05,025
I see you're eating bread again.
I thought you were off carbs.
323
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,358
J. D!
324
00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:09,296
- I'm sorry. I'm back. Continue.
- Look, we're senior staff now,
325
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,298
so maybe at work,
we should tone down the PDA.
326
00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:14,636
I agree.
327
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,775
- But does that include...
- It definitely includes "Eagle!"
328
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,471
Oh! Good.
329
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:23,173
Look at that, I'm not hungry anymore.
330
00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:27,514
Brianna has so much
to deal with right now.
331
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:30,454
It just seems like you should let her
enjoy every normal moment she can
332
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,151
instead of forcing her
to hide from life all the time.
333
00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:35,387
As much as I hate to agree with Dr...
334
00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:36,553
Dey.
335
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,127
- Your name is Sunny Dey?
- Mmm-hmm.
336
00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:43,225
Okay, as ridiculous as it was
for her parents to name her that,
337
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:46,567
I think what you're doing with Brianna
is 1,000 times worse.
338
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:48,971
My daughter's immune system
doesn't work.
339
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,737
Why don't you two tell me what it's like
340
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:54,473
when your child risks death
every time she shakes hands?
341
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:57,073
Do you think I care one bit
what you think?
342
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:58,378
We tried.
343
00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:01,516
You know, yesterday,
Dr. Reid came in and gave me
344
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:04,989
the same sanctimonious speech,
and I told her the exact same thing.
345
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,015
Hey, what's going on over here?
346
00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:13,056
- Everything okay?
- I'm great.
347
00:17:13,098 --> 00:17:17,467
I just don't know what's real anymore,
but that's okay, right?
348
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:22,800
I mean, so what if big chunks of my life
were just figments of my imagination?
349
00:17:22,841 --> 00:17:26,072
So I never went to China
and had a baby with a local.
350
00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:29,742
Maybe I was never in The Fugitive.
351
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:33,115
Listen, this place
can make anyone crazy.
352
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,449
Once, after a double shift,
353
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,852
I swore I went home
and crawled into bed with Turk.
354
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:40,518
Next day, I woke up in the on-call room
spooning Dr. Beardface.
355
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:43,084
Now the guy's always slipping me
hotel keys.
356
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:46,689
I can't believe
you're being so nice to me
357
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,599
when I almost punished you for
something that never even happened.
358
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,933
Please accept my apologies.
359
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:58,201
That was easier than I thought.
360
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:00,605
No, Beardface.
361
00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:08,016
I'm so proud of you, man.
You know, I've always emulated you.
362
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:10,886
I shaved my privates bald
to look like your head.
363
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,518
Todd, I'm actually kind of touched.
Come on.
364
00:18:16,161 --> 00:18:17,355
What's going on?
365
00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:20,490
They're gonna publish
my old therapy paper.
366
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:22,022
J.D.: There it was.
367
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:25,127
He wanted a hug and I damn surewanted to give him one,
368
00:18:25,170 --> 00:18:27,331
but all we could do was say this.
369
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,670
- Congrats.
- Thanks, man.
370
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:36,739
J.D.: Don't look back. Fight it. Fight it.Damn it, you're only human.
371
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:38,649
Turk?
372
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:43,615
I ran all the way around.
373
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:45,282
It's guy loveDon't compromise
374
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:48,259
- People are gonna look.
- What people?
375
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:52,559
It's guy love between two guys
376
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:00,497
Why'd you lie
about talking to Brianna's mom?
377
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,631
I'm going first.
378
00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:03,698
Why'd you go talk to her
after I told you to drop it?
379
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:07,303
- It's not fair what her mom's doing.
- And why is that?
380
00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,643
I don't know,
because people need to be able
381
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,648
to go out and do things and live life.
382
00:19:10,682 --> 00:19:12,274
Where have I heard that before?
383
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:15,809
Oh! Yeah, it's the exact same advice
I've given you 9,000 times.
384
00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,789
So you had me get crushed
by that mom just to prove a point?
385
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,726
She even had me give you a little push
so you wouldn't wimp out.
386
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:26,925
I'm very bright. Look, I've been there.
I did what you did.
387
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,399
I was an intern.
I've lived at this hospital.
388
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:31,527
I saw the same exact people
day after day,
389
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:34,835
which, for the record, makes even
the uggos look attractive after a while.
390
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:38,243
Oh! Is that how you got together
with Dr. Dorian?
391
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:42,304
What? No. Well, maybe at first. No.
392
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,110
No.
393
00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:47,141
J.D.: Sometimes interns thinkthey know it all,
394
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,347
but the lessonsreally never stop coming.
395
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,686
Whether you've heard it 1,000 times...
396
00:19:51,723 --> 00:19:54,157
For the last time,
get out of here every once in a while,
397
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:58,152
- or this place will swallow you up.
- What about Brianna?
398
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,960
J.D.: Or it's something totally new.
399
00:19:59,998 --> 00:20:02,592
So much crappy stuff happens here
all day long,
400
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,865
the best way to get past it
is do what I do.
401
00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:08,065
Just pretend it never happened.
402
00:20:12,177 --> 00:20:15,203
- Hey, sorry again.
- Don't beat yourself up about it.
403
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,378
J.D.: Of course, some lessonsyou pick up on your own...
404
00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:23,944
- I just got the urge to buy you a shirt.
- Well, then, to the mall!
405
00:20:24,256 --> 00:20:25,553
Mount up.
406
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,590
Eagle!
407
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:32,759
J.D.: Like how important it isto have a good friend here
408
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,129
to help you get through it.
409
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:36,125
Oh!
410
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:39,729
- Anyone sitting here?
- Not just anyone. You.
411
00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:43,903
Okay, no more talking
till I'm drunk. Okay?
412
00:20:53,218 --> 00:20:54,446
Partner up, please.
413
00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,521
Val, please don't make a sign
414
00:20:57,556 --> 00:21:00,616
that says "LOSER"
with an arrow pointing towards Jo.
415
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:04,187
Ha-ha! Now it's pointing towards me.
Very clever.
416
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:07,062
- Turk, will you get the sign, please?
- I am on it.
417
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,191
- Val!
- You guys...
418
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:09,530
- You guys are doctors.
- I'm telling you.
419
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:12,264
- This is unprofessional.
- Got it.
420
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:13,998
This is a different "LOSER" sign.
421
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:17,099
Where is the original "LOSER" sign?
There's two now.
422
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:18,973
- Right there. I see it.
- Okay, can you get that one, please?
423
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:20,444
I'm gonna get it right now.
424
00:21:20,479 --> 00:21:21,639
I think we should stop
looking for the sign
425
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,808
and start looking for the Sharpie,
'cause we're losing control here.
426
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:26,818
We are not losing control.
427
00:21:27,653 --> 00:21:28,745
Okay, who wrote that?
34913
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