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03 Police Academy 3 Back In Training -
Comedy 1986 720p [H264-mp4] English
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GUARD:
We close in 20 minutes.
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00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,442
MAN 1:
Damn!
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00:01:53,571 --> 00:01:54,905
Thanks.
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00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:00,786
MAN 1:
Aah! Gee.
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00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,622
MAN 2: Ooh. Ow!
MAN 1: Ow!
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00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,625
MAN 2: Ow!
MAN 1: Argh.
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00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,553
- Where the hell are these clowns?
- It is a large garage, sir.
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00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:22,141
- We're over here!
- Are you an idiot?
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00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:25,936
[CAR HORN HONKS]
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00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,646
PROCTOR:
There they are.
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00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,273
Get down.
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00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,110
It's about time.
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00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:36,071
I've sucked up enough fumes
to last me a lifetime.
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00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,865
Stand up!
16
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:40,409
What's with all this deep-throat crap?
17
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Don't look at me. It wasn't my idea
to meet here. It was his.
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00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,998
We shouldn't be seen together.
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00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:50,085
Just thinking of the safety factor
of Operation Fiasco.
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That's what I call this, sir.
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00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,674
I work with the village idiot.
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- Do you guys have any idea-
- Sir, your glasses!
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00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:05,809
Do you guys... Take off your glasses.
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00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:10,564
Do you guys have any idea how many
police academies are in this state?
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- Is this a trick question, sir?
- No, this is not a trick question, sir.
26
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,237
- Two.
- Wrong.
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My sources have informed me that
one of them is about to be terminated.
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- Which one?
- I don't know.
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They haven't decided yet.
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And that's where you two come in.
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I need two good men that'll make sure
Lassard's academy fails and not mine.
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00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,965
I need two good men
that'll inform on Lassard's academy...
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00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,134
and tell me every move they make.
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00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:43,222
I need two good men that'll sell
out their mothers to get ahead.
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BOTH: That's us.
- Good.
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Can we go now?
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We should split up.
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Safety factor. We'll go first.
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[CAR HORN HONKS]
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[CAR HORN HONKING]
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PROCTOR:
Looks like it's closed, sir.
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They locked us in.
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[MAUSER GRUNTING]
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The car!
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[SCREAMING]
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Proctor!
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PROCTOR:
No problem, sir!
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I got it! Please!
49
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,317
- My car!
- Please, stop!
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00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,945
[PROCTOR WHIMPERING]
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[SCREAMING THEN CRASHING]
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[HONKING]
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My car.
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[BAND PLAYING]
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As governor of this great state of ours...
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it fills me with pride
to see these graduating police cadets.
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I'm also sad to tell you...
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that this is the last time
we will be graduating two classes.
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00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:25,949
What?
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00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:30,912
It's time to tighten our belts.
It's time to close one of the academies.
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00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:36,126
But in the spirit of fair play, which is
the hallmark of my administration...
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I have appointed a committee...
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to evaluate and compare
the two academies.
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00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,260
That way, their fate will rest
in their own hands.
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00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:49,473
I am certain that both commandants
will welcome such a challenge.
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00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,351
Got it!
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00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,313
Isn't that true, Comdt. Mauser
and Comdt. Lassard?
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00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,910
Well, Comdt. Lassard, good luck, sir.
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00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:15,415
- May the better academy win.
- We intend to, sir.
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Don't be too sure, Comdt. Mauser.
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We have many wonderful new recruits
which we shall mold in my own image.
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00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:25,592
Promise me you'll do that, sir, please.
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Sir. The committee.
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00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:33,683
Ladies, gentlemen, truly a pleasure.
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00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:37,479
Anyone need a ride, police escort?
Don't hesitate to ask.
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00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,858
Oh. Governor, magnificent speech!
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00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:45,153
Bravo! I applaud you.
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00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,449
Whoo! Whoo!
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00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,202
Why beat around the bush, Mauser?
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00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,704
Just get down on your knees
and kiss his ass.
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00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,166
I don't need any tactical advice
from you, Callahan.
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00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,751
Governor!
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00:07:00,044 --> 00:07:01,211
Governor.
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00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,798
I know you're a busy man, sir,
but I've been doing a study...
85
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,509
on some training techniques
I thought might interest you.
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00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:10,303
The Governor is in a hurry,
Comdt. Mauser.
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00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,889
I could memo you on these, sir.
88
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,351
Governor, I speak for everyone
when I say-
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00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,686
[GRUNTING]
90
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,856
Let me assure you, Governor...
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00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,358
Comdt. Mauser
does not speak for this academy.
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00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,943
Governor, what I meant to say was-
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00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,695
[GRUNTING]
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Get a hold of yourself, you idiot.
You're making the Governor sick!
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LASSARD:
Well, Mauser.
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00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,082
You certainly made
a lasting impression on the Governor.
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00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:42,627
The only impression that counts, sir,
is in this file!
98
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:46,298
We'll see who's got an academy
when this is over.
99
00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:47,549
Proctor!
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00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:53,472
COPELAND:
You have nothing to worry about, sir.
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00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,724
Right. Just leave everything to us.
102
00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:59,644
We'll make Mauser eat those words.
Let's go.
103
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:03,023
- Mahoney.
JONES & CALLAHAN: Right.
104
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,818
Okay, come on now. Guys!
105
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,278
[MOUTHS]
Girls.
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00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,406
Girls, of course, I'm sorry.
All right, keep it up! Number one!
107
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:15,327
Take it on, drive it in here! Keep
it alive. Take it in, drive in!
108
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,954
Keep your arms up! Take it! Take it on...
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00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,499
Try! Bring it back. Stop. Stop the playing!
110
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,711
Give me the ball. Gather around, girls.
I want to talk about something.
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00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:26,838
I want you to remember from yesterday...
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00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,257
Come a little closer. All right.
113
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,802
Remember from yesterday,
you pick and roll? Now, ready and break!
114
00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,221
Number two. Keep it alive.
115
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,557
DISPATCHER: Police Academy
to Sgt. Mahoney. Come in, please.
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00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,267
Sgt. Mahoney's office.
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00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,687
DISPATCHER: Get me Mahoney,
and get your feet off the dashboard!
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00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,858
Good, take it along now.
119
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,987
- I'm sorry, Sergeant. I didn't mean to.
MAHONEY: That's okay. My pleasure.
120
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:55,325
Sgt. Mahoney, I just heard,
Comdt. Lassard needs help.
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00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,369
Lassard's in trouble?
122
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:58,912
KID 1:
Give it back!
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00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:01,790
[CHUCKLES]
124
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,333
KID 2:
Wait. Wait for me!
125
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,584
KID 3:
Go, Mom!
126
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,586
[THIEF GRUNTING]
127
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,755
[THIEF SCREAMS]
128
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,759
DISPATCHER:
Sgt. Hightower, come in.
129
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:13,969
Shit.
130
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,138
DISPATCHER:
Hightower, get rid of the pantyhose...
131
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,014
and report to the academy immediately.
132
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,432
I'm on my way.
133
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,560
KIRKLAND:
Eugene?
134
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:23,979
Hey, Eugene.
135
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,689
Tackleberry?
136
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,861
Come on out, Eugene. I give up.
137
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:34,864
You outdid yourself this time.
138
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,325
Olly, olly, oxen free?
139
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,536
[MOSQUITO BUZZING]
140
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:42,914
All right, come on, Tackleberry,
I'm tired of this.
141
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:45,166
Quit fooling around in the backyard.
142
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,588
I'm serious. I got something to tell you.
143
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,922
[GUN COCKS]
144
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:54,509
All right, come on, Eugene.
I'm getting pretty tired of this.
145
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,387
Come on, Eugene,
I got an important message-
146
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,681
Good one, Tack. Really fooled me.
147
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,684
Mahoney called.
He said Lassard needs help.
148
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:25,624
What a wonderful moment,
my favorite graduates back.
149
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:29,169
The academy is facing
its greatest challenge.
150
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,421
After many years...
151
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:36,134
of graduating many fine police officers,
the State says...
152
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,179
it can no longer afford
two police academies.
153
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,848
God knows what they did
with all the money.
154
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,516
[GROANS]
155
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,769
We have a tradition to uphold...
156
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,813
a reputation to defend,
and defend it, we will!
157
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,986
- Thank you, Mahoney.
- Anytime, sir.
158
00:10:55,738 --> 00:11:00,325
With our new recruits and your help,
I'm sure we can survive the competition.
159
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,286
There can only be one winner.
160
00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,750
But also only one loser,
which works out nicely.
161
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:11,586
I certainly hope we win.
162
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,255
Then I can retire
with the same sense of dignity...
163
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,675
I have always brought to the academy.
164
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,176
Whoa!
165
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,011
Dismissed.
166
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:23,390
MRS. FACKLER: Get out of my way,
or I'll start playing rough.
167
00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:24,974
FACKLER: Don't do that.
MRS. FACKLER: No, I will not!
168
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,811
You have the stupidest idea.
Put down that suitcase.
169
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,814
- You are not going to that police academy.
- Wrong!
170
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:32,774
Aah!
171
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:36,611
Finally, don't you think one policeman
in this family is enough?
172
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,072
MRS. FACKLER:
Stop it! I don't care what you say!
173
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,534
- Great, great.
- Great.
174
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:46,830
Okay, listen. See, I just wanted
to join the force to be with you.
175
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:51,209
I mean, we can ride together, we can wear
matching uniforms, share ammo...
176
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,503
everything that makes a marriage work.
177
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,256
Honey, look. Listen to me, sweetheart.
178
00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:01,386
- Police work, it's just so dangerous.
- I don't care!
179
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,555
Oh, no. No, you don't!
180
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:04,806
[MRS. FACKLER SCREAMS]
181
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:07,642
You let go of me, mister,
or face the consequences!
182
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,437
MRS. PECTELLl: Good morning, Facklers.
- Hello, Mrs. Pectelli.
183
00:12:10,646 --> 00:12:12,856
It is hell out there on those streets.
184
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:16,568
- All right. Okay.
- Come on.
185
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,363
Sweetie, what? Come on.
186
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:23,616
We're adults.
I know we can talk this thing out.
187
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:27,454
Exactly. I know you're smart enough
to do that work. It's just that...
188
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:32,041
I'm the breadwinner in this family, and
you're my lady, and your place is at home.
189
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,252
Right? Come on, give me a kiss.
190
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,838
What do you... Come on.
191
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:40,175
You think I can't break this down?
Open it up, sweetie.
192
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:43,511
I'm a policeman. I'm trained
for this kind of stuff, you know that?
193
00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:47,390
All right, big joke. Open that door!
Come on. You said we'd be adults.
194
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,018
[SIREN WAILING]
195
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:52,437
Hey! That's my...
196
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,071
- Do you want to kill me?
- I have thought about it a couple of times.
197
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,199
Honey, stop it right now! I'm serious!
198
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:06,618
I don't care.
I wanna go to the police academy.
199
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:10,580
Listen to reason, will you? Listen to me
right now. You are not gonna...
200
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,416
- What are you doing?
- I want you off this car now!
201
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,294
I just waxed this car.
You'll get me into so much trouble.
202
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,546
[CAR HORN HONKING]
203
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,008
This is a city street,
not a drag strip, thank you.
204
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,847
If you don't like it, you go around me!
205
00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:31,976
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
206
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:35,063
MAN: -with volume on the New York
Stock Exchange as of this hour...
207
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:40,151
at 56 million shares in moderate trading,
with the Dow Jones up 4 points at 1507.
208
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:43,404
The dollar is showing renewed strength
against foreign currency...
209
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,294
gaining 10 percent against the pound...
210
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,700
on rumors of the Fed's
dropping interest rates.
211
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,703
The uncertainty of interest rates
is affecting the bond market.
212
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,872
Trading has been cautious
and will remain...
213
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:04,092
This is not Le Mans!
214
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:14,978
[SIRENS WAILING]
215
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,784
[CAR HORN HONKING]
216
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,299
Porter. Redcap.
217
00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:48,636
That's right.
Could you help me with these, please?
218
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,180
That's right. Come on over here.
219
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,058
Thank you. That'll be fine, thank you.
220
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:01,858
[GLASS BREAKING]
221
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,651
Porter.
222
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:08,197
[RECRUITS LAUGHING AND YELLING]
223
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,867
Please, sit down. Please.
224
00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:12,118
Um, uh, um...
225
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,411
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
226
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:17,081
Zip your lips, slap your butts to the seat
and listen hard!
227
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,585
That's a lot better.
228
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:24,881
Let me be the first to welcome you
to the fabulous Midcity Police Academy.
229
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:28,343
We're about to begin
an incredible 14-week adventure in living.
230
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,678
I'm one of your hosts,
Sgt. Carey Mahoney.
231
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:33,348
And as you exit the bus,
please form a double line.
232
00:15:33,557 --> 00:15:34,557
And march them!
233
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,018
[JONES BEAT-BOXING]
234
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,867
Who did that?
235
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,370
[IN GOOFY VOICE]
Say, man, this place is crazy.
236
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,413
Suckers always making me dance
and stuff.
237
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,458
What kind of place is this?
I don't look like I'm gonna make it.
238
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,786
[IN DEEP VOICE]
You'll make it just fine. Keep dancing.
239
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,713
MAUSER:
Hmm. Good.
240
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:12,845
Good, tall. Good.
241
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,806
Good, strong.
242
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:17,141
Excuse me.
243
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,478
And who might you be?
244
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:24,649
Tomoko Nogata, of Tachikawa Nogatas.
245
00:16:27,027 --> 00:16:28,861
"And is this your lovely wife?"
246
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:30,363
[GRUNTS]
247
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:31,990
- Proctor.
- Yes, sir.
248
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:35,410
- What's the story here with Fu Manchu?
- Fu Manchu.
249
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,203
I don't have a Fu Manchu.
250
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,914
I'm talking about the stir-fried shrimp
from out of town!
251
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:41,916
He's with the Tachikawa Highway Patrol...
252
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:45,169
part of an international exchange
program, here to study our methods.
253
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,130
I'm not teaching my cadets
how to use a wok!
254
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,548
[GUFFAWS]
255
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:53,511
You ship him off to Lassard's.
He'll fit in perfectly over there.
256
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,764
He could use a good sushi chef.
257
00:16:57,683 --> 00:17:00,601
- No offense, eh?
- Arigato, thank you.
258
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,270
Kiss my what?
259
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,654
Excuse me, sir.
260
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,158
- Ma'am! I'm a ma'am!
- I'm sorry.
261
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:18,036
Those guns make it difficult to tell.
262
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,788
- Are you an instructor?
- Affirmative.
263
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,123
Are you a new recruit?
264
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:26,044
- Yes, I-
- She certainly is. But she's terribly shy.
265
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:29,380
Stand up straight, Sarah.
And don't babble.
266
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:31,466
What will the instructor think?
267
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,801
- Now, just pay attention-
- Stifle it!
268
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,262
Don't worry, Sarah.
When we're finished with you...
269
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,806
you'll have nerves of steel,
ice in your veins...
270
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,893
and a set of brass balls this big.
271
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:43,394
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
272
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,354
No favoritism here, Eugene.
273
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:48,357
Bud, here, he fouls up,
you give him a good whack.
274
00:17:48,984 --> 00:17:51,778
- Ha-ha-ha. Gotcha!
- That was a good one. Pretty sneaky.
275
00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,405
[LAUGHING]
276
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,407
Caught me off guard.
277
00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,998
You take care of yourself, son.
And pay attention to Eugene.
278
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:07,168
I'm proud of you.
You're gonna make one hell of a cop.
279
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:10,004
Thanks, Dad.
Would you give this to Mom for me?
280
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,549
Ha, ha. Don't forget to buckle up.
281
00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:16,302
That was a good one.
282
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,973
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
283
00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:22,225
MR. KIRKLAND:
Sorry!
284
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:26,437
Boy, my dad and I have
a terrific relationship.
285
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:34,737
[SIRENS WAILING]
286
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,368
[FACKLER SCREAMS]
287
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:41,911
[SIREN WAILING]
288
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:46,124
Does anybody know how to shut
this thing off? It's driving me nuts!
289
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,042
Thanks.
290
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,261
Okay, that's $700.
291
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,931
- Plus tip.
- Here you go.
292
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,934
Hey. Hey, Wait a minute. What is this?
293
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:09,272
What do you think you're giving me here?
What, are you kidding?
294
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,899
I don't take any money
with pictures of tuna fish on it.
295
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:15,153
Come on, American money.
Let's go. $700, that's what you owe me.
296
00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:17,446
Wait a minute. Excuse me.
What's going on here?
297
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:21,075
- Not enough. He owes me $700, plus tip.
- $700 for a cab ride?
298
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:24,203
- Where did you catch this cab, Yokohama?
- Yokohama.
299
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:31,377
Excuse me. I'm Officer Carey Mahoney.
May I be of some assistance?
300
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:34,255
- Yes. This guy is trying to rip off this guy.
- "Rip off."
301
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:38,009
- Read the meter. The meter don't lie.
- Is this true? And who's your barber?
302
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,803
Look, wise guy,
don't think a blue uniform scares me.
303
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:44,098
- No, sir, this is not a scary uniform.
- No, it's not a scary uniform.
304
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,988
- Hightower!
ADAMS: That's a scary uniform.
305
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,227
This man just said something
about your mother.
306
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:51,147
He also charged this guy $700
for a cab ride.
307
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,941
- A rip-off.
- Meters don't lie. Read the meter.
308
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,821
They don't lie. They never lie.
309
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,366
Meters don't lie.
310
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,912
This meter lied. It's a lying meter.
311
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,000
- Fair price.
- And tip.
312
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,169
- What's your name, son?
- Nogata.
313
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,046
- Nogata? New recruit?
NOGATA: Yes.
314
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,381
- Right over there.
- Thank you. Okay.
315
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,635
- Thanks, Hightower.
- Okay, babe.
316
00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:26,307
Excuse me.
317
00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,268
That sordid little scene
must have been trying on you, Miss...
318
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:30,561
Karen Adams.
319
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:34,607
You're Karen Adams?
You're kidding. Aah, we're roomies!
320
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:37,401
I'll help you settle in.
You'll take your clothes off...
321
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,291
- we'll shower, get close-
- I'm sorry.
322
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,865
I'm not here to get hit on by every guy
who looks cute in a blue uniform.
323
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,076
I want to be a policewoman.
324
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:46,619
You will be!
325
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,705
We'll get together. We'll talk! I hope.
326
00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,209
Oh.
327
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:56,671
Well, Mahoney,
I see you still have very good taste.
328
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,172
Ha, ha. Thank you.
329
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,439
Nice bike!
330
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,069
Where do you put the batteries?
Ha-ha-ha.
331
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,531
Get out of my way!
332
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:27,743
[LAUGHING]
333
00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:35,710
[SCREAMING]
334
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,629
That didn't hurt!
335
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:43,092
Hi, was I going too fast?
336
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,262
[BIKE HORN HONKING]
337
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,765
[SWEETCHUCK SCREAMS
THEN GROANS]
338
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,562
Where do I go to register?
339
00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:57,690
- Let's go. Kirkland, 46!
- Yeah, all right.
340
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,318
- Fackler, where do you think you're going?
- With him.
341
00:22:00,527 --> 00:22:02,486
- Women downstairs!
- Damn!
342
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:05,156
Move it! Let's go. Come on now, girls!
343
00:22:05,365 --> 00:22:09,076
OFFICER 1: Move it.
OFFICER 2: All right, Sweetchuck, let's go.
344
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:13,372
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
345
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:19,378
[BOTH SCREAMING]
346
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,007
ZED: Aah!
CALLAHAN: Hey!
347
00:22:23,592 --> 00:22:24,759
Oh, hi.
348
00:22:24,968 --> 00:22:27,762
- What's your problem?
- He's the problem. He's an animal.
349
00:22:27,971 --> 00:22:30,139
Get used to it. He's your roommate.
350
00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,934
- Aah! Roommate?
- Zed's reformed. He's on our side now.
351
00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:37,855
Yeah. I used to be a real jerk,
but now I'm a people guy.
352
00:22:38,565 --> 00:22:41,567
[DRUMMING]
353
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:50,284
ZED [SINGING]:
It's tough to be a truck driver cowgirl
354
00:22:50,494 --> 00:22:54,330
[ZED SCREAMING AND GROANING]
355
00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:55,873
You're awake!
356
00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:59,043
What kind of music do you like?
You like salsa? You like reggae?
357
00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:01,003
Something with that love beat?
358
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:06,092
This is a song I wrote, off my first album.
And it goes something like this.
359
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,094
[SCREAMS]
360
00:23:08,303 --> 00:23:09,845
When I was a baby I had no head
361
00:23:10,055 --> 00:23:12,765
I couldn't get a job, I couldn't go to bed
362
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:17,061
It was originally a love ballad,
but I kind of spruced it up.
363
00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:20,648
[ZED SCREAMING]
364
00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:23,609
No, I don't take requests.
365
00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:26,112
All right, clowns...
366
00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:29,448
I want you to police this entire area
from here to the parade ground.
367
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:33,452
I want you to pick up every cigarette butt,
every scrap of paper, every weed.
368
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,538
Now, we're gonna be watching
from my window.
369
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:39,083
So if I see these flashlights stop moving,
you're both in big trouble.
370
00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:42,002
Big trouble. Now, get to work.
371
00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:44,296
Let's go, Chad.
372
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:49,760
[SCREAMING]
373
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:01,230
- Mr. Zed.
- No school.
374
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,899
- Mr. Zed.
- What?
375
00:24:04,109 --> 00:24:07,403
- Are you sure this is gonna work?
- Of course it's gonna work.
376
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:10,406
It's working.
377
00:24:14,619 --> 00:24:17,788
CADETS:
Hup, two, three, four.
378
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:26,881
As you can see, sir,
I have instant access over all my cadets...
379
00:24:27,090 --> 00:24:28,966
and all of the instructors.
380
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:32,511
Attention! Give me 20 pushups, now!
381
00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,889
[PROCTOR & MAUSER LAUGHING]
382
00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:37,016
There's no escaping the camera's eye, sir.
383
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:40,144
As you could see,
I can monitor the gym, the classrooms...
384
00:24:40,353 --> 00:24:41,812
The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show?
385
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:45,149
Oh. Good! This is the episode
where Natasha and Boris have Rocky-
386
00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,319
It's an old one, though.
I've seen it. Rerun.
387
00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:50,946
We have a few bugs
to be worked out, sir...
388
00:24:51,156 --> 00:24:53,407
but I'm sure
you'll tell the evaluation committee...
389
00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:55,326
about the wonderful work
we're doing in-
390
00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:59,538
Ah-ah-ah. You're chapping your lips
on the wrong butt, Mr. Mauser.
391
00:25:00,081 --> 00:25:03,000
I have no say
with the evaluation committee.
392
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:07,129
Besides, I want both academies
to look good.
393
00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,466
Oh, so do I, sir. So do I.
394
00:25:10,675 --> 00:25:13,677
And when may the committee
be coming by, sir?
395
00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:18,390
The committee is spending the rest
of the week at Lassard's academy.
396
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:23,103
Next week, the Governor has them
snooping around the downtown precincts.
397
00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,022
So that gives you...
398
00:25:25,357 --> 00:25:28,317
a couple of weeks
to perfect your ass-kissing.
399
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:29,860
That's plenty of time, sir.
400
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:31,946
Hi.
401
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,365
- Two and three.
402
00:25:34,574 --> 00:25:35,783
Ah, Callahan, there you are.
403
00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:38,786
We have to talk to you
about this evaluation thing.
404
00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:40,704
I'll see you at my...
405
00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:43,916
[WATER SPLASHING]
406
00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:48,212
And four! And one, and two, and three!
407
00:26:21,788 --> 00:26:23,747
OFFICER:
Close there. Whoo!
408
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,630
HOOKS:
Not only must you know all traffic laws...
409
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,175
you must also master
high-speed driving.
410
00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:39,555
Now, we'll begin today
with a leisurely spin around the course.
411
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:42,433
[ENGINE RUNNING]
412
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,143
[TIRES SCREECHING]
413
00:26:44,352 --> 00:26:46,103
MAN:
Hey. Watch where you're going, lady!
414
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:49,148
[ENGINE RUNNING]
415
00:26:49,316 --> 00:26:51,817
[TIRES SCREECHING]
416
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:55,738
[JONES MIMICKING ENGINE RUNNING
THEN TIRES SCREECHING]
417
00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:58,741
[MIMICKING DOG WHIMPERING]
418
00:26:59,784 --> 00:27:02,036
Okay, you can start the car now.
419
00:27:02,245 --> 00:27:04,955
But if I hear any of those things,
you've failed.
420
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:08,292
Oops. Wrong key. I'll be right back.
421
00:27:09,336 --> 00:27:11,045
That's no problem.
422
00:27:14,507 --> 00:27:16,050
[ENGINE STARTING]
423
00:27:16,259 --> 00:27:17,968
[SCREAMS]
424
00:27:21,848 --> 00:27:23,432
Very often in the field...
425
00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:25,934
the dog can be your best friend.
426
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:27,895
Your most faithful partner.
427
00:27:28,104 --> 00:27:31,148
Oh, I love dogs, and they love me.
Hi, boy, hi.
428
00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:33,859
[GASPS]
429
00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:36,153
First... Out.
430
00:27:38,573 --> 00:27:39,615
Thanks.
431
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:43,243
It is important to develop
the master-dog relationship.
432
00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:45,537
If you show any fear...
433
00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,332
the dog will not respect you.
434
00:27:49,376 --> 00:27:50,751
- Sweetchuck.
- Me?
435
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,754
- Order the dogs to sit.
- They won't listen to me.
436
00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:55,798
They will. Come on, try.
437
00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:58,884
Go on, have a seat.
438
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:00,344
[ALL GASPS]
439
00:28:02,764 --> 00:28:05,391
You've got to show them who's boss.
440
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,643
Sit!
441
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:18,612
Ha!
442
00:28:20,573 --> 00:28:22,241
At this time...
443
00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:25,619
I would like to
introduce to all of you...
444
00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:29,873
my instructor,
the man who taught me how to fight.
445
00:28:31,876 --> 00:28:34,253
Please welcome, if you will...
446
00:28:35,046 --> 00:28:36,964
Sgt. John Hurney.
447
00:29:05,702 --> 00:29:07,828
Now, can I have a volunteer?
448
00:29:08,204 --> 00:29:11,832
Can I have a volunteer?
Very good, Nogata.
449
00:29:44,157 --> 00:29:45,991
I don't believe it.
450
00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:50,954
[AS DONALD DUCK]
Oh, boy!
451
00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:52,706
[LAUGHS]
452
00:29:52,999 --> 00:29:54,124
He's great!
453
00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:10,349
[GRUNTS THEN LAUGHS]
454
00:30:10,558 --> 00:30:12,100
[CLEARS THROAT]
455
00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:17,105
You, uh, have impressive moves for a cadet.
456
00:30:17,732 --> 00:30:18,941
Thank you.
457
00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:23,070
You see, it's a matter of the mind
being mightier than the bosom.
458
00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:27,825
Interesting theory.
459
00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:35,541
I said bosom, not sword.
460
00:30:35,750 --> 00:30:37,042
Sounds like a common mistake.
461
00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:42,130
No. I mean no disrespect.
It's just that she's so...
462
00:30:43,049 --> 00:30:44,842
Wow.
463
00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:46,802
Wow. What a woman!
464
00:30:47,428 --> 00:30:48,428
[WHISTLES]
465
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:50,013
Hit the showers!
466
00:30:50,515 --> 00:30:52,099
See what I mean?
467
00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:55,185
TRAINER:
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
468
00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:00,065
Ugh!
469
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:15,956
Miss Macho.
470
00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:23,547
All right, men, it's 2200.
471
00:31:24,382 --> 00:31:26,216
Time to hit the sack.
472
00:31:27,927 --> 00:31:29,219
Let's go.
473
00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:32,389
MAN [ON TV]:
You're dead meat, copper!
474
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,438
Let's move it!
475
00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:48,280
- What time is it?
- 3 in the morning.
476
00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:54,036
[ALARM BLARING]
477
00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:57,039
All right, everybody!
Everybody up! Let's go!
478
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:02,044
Outside!
479
00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:04,963
Let's go!
480
00:32:05,173 --> 00:32:08,133
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
481
00:32:13,514 --> 00:32:17,517
BLANKS: Come on, you sludge buckets.
If I can keep up this pace, so can you.
482
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:19,394
Let's go, maggots.
483
00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:24,524
A good cop is always prepared.
A good cop knows the city streets.
484
00:32:26,069 --> 00:32:28,236
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
485
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:31,156
- Are you gonna be all right, Hedges?
NOGATA: He'll be okay.
486
00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:34,326
- Can I help you with anything?
NOGATA: No, we're here now.
487
00:32:34,869 --> 00:32:37,955
- Bye, Hedges.
- I'll have to be fed intravenously.
488
00:32:38,331 --> 00:32:39,831
Just lie down.
489
00:32:45,755 --> 00:32:48,423
[SCREAMING]
490
00:32:51,427 --> 00:32:52,928
What is this?
491
00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:55,847
It's my bed. I pick up in New Delhi.
492
00:32:56,057 --> 00:32:59,059
Posture-o-pedic. Very good for back.
493
00:33:01,771 --> 00:33:05,732
[SWEETCHUCK SCATTING]
494
00:33:10,613 --> 00:33:12,656
Hello? Hello?
495
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,617
Who is that?
496
00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:17,661
What-? Who is it? Don't-
497
00:33:17,870 --> 00:33:19,955
[SCREAMING]
498
00:33:21,624 --> 00:33:24,292
Do you want to, like,
borrow my shampoo?
499
00:33:24,502 --> 00:33:27,629
[SWEETCHUCK SCREAMING]
500
00:33:31,467 --> 00:33:32,634
[GASPS]
501
00:33:32,844 --> 00:33:35,220
Freeze! Identify yourself.
502
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:36,805
It's me, Mr. Sweetchuck.
503
00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:40,100
You look like a man
who's going AWOL to me, mister.
504
00:33:40,309 --> 00:33:43,895
Yeah, I am. I'm tired of having a roommate
that's an animal!
505
00:33:44,105 --> 00:33:46,773
I was happier when I was at home
getting mugged!
506
00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:50,193
You look me in the eye
and tell me you're quitting!
507
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:52,904
Hey.
508
00:33:53,114 --> 00:33:55,365
Don't worry. I'll take care of you.
509
00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:58,035
You give me a chance...
510
00:33:58,619 --> 00:34:00,620
and I'll make you into a man.
511
00:34:01,789 --> 00:34:03,623
Even if it kills you.
512
00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:05,792
[FLY BUZZING]
513
00:34:10,631 --> 00:34:13,008
Feel good? Let's go.
514
00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:18,972
Sergeant.
515
00:34:33,946 --> 00:34:36,198
A good kick may be all that stands...
516
00:34:36,407 --> 00:34:39,159
between you and the excruciating pain...
517
00:34:39,368 --> 00:34:43,371
of a. 357 magnum slug
shredding your vital organs.
518
00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:46,333
Fackler! You're up.
519
00:34:50,296 --> 00:34:51,671
Yay.
520
00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:53,507
[GROANS]
521
00:34:54,342 --> 00:34:55,634
CALLAHAN:
Kirkland!
522
00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:07,395
[CLICKING]
523
00:35:09,857 --> 00:35:11,024
CALLAHAN:
Zed!
524
00:35:16,072 --> 00:35:18,323
[SCREAMING]
525
00:35:19,992 --> 00:35:22,369
CALLAHAN: Sweetchuck!
- Sweetchuck, what's the word?
526
00:35:22,578 --> 00:35:23,954
- Kill.
- Let me hear it again.
527
00:35:24,163 --> 00:35:25,914
- Kill.
- Now go for it!
528
00:35:27,708 --> 00:35:29,251
[YELLS]
529
00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:31,461
[THUDDING]
530
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:36,591
MAUSER:
Whose bright idea was it to meet here?
531
00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:38,635
It was my bright idea.
532
00:35:39,178 --> 00:35:42,097
This is some beautiful view, isn't it, sir?
533
00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:46,476
The twinkling lights of the city,
stars in the heavens...
534
00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:48,395
the moon in the sky.
535
00:35:48,896 --> 00:35:52,649
And Mr. Sandman flying
from rooftop to rooftop.
536
00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:53,942
Where?
537
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,027
What the hell is that?
538
00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:59,656
Give me this damn thing.
Well, how'd it go?
539
00:35:59,866 --> 00:36:02,117
The committee knew right away
we were hopeless.
540
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,368
Good.
541
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:07,164
Now, I want you guys
to take the cadets downtown...
542
00:36:07,373 --> 00:36:08,415
for some fieldwork.
543
00:36:08,624 --> 00:36:12,127
We can't do that. Cadets don't go
into the field till after their tenth week.
544
00:36:12,336 --> 00:36:15,881
- They're not ready for anything like that.
- I know that, you moron.
545
00:36:16,090 --> 00:36:20,802
That's the whole idea. Next week, the
evaluation committee is gonna be there.
546
00:36:21,012 --> 00:36:23,972
- Oh, I get it, sir.
- I doubt it.
547
00:36:24,182 --> 00:36:26,391
Heh. Sorry, sir.
548
00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:30,228
I'm gonna be there
when Lassard's guys screw up.
549
00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:33,440
You guys make sure they screw up. Get it?
550
00:36:33,649 --> 00:36:34,689
- Yes, sir.
MAUSER: Get it?
551
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:35,859
- Yeah.
- Good.
552
00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:40,572
[CROWD YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
553
00:36:54,545 --> 00:36:56,213
Punch him! Punch him!
554
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:03,511
One, two, three, four.
555
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:05,972
[BELL RINGS]
556
00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:09,309
That's great. He's looking tired. Good.
557
00:37:09,518 --> 00:37:11,353
Your legs are rubbery.
558
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:18,735
- Knock him out. Let me hear you say it.
- Knock him out.
559
00:37:19,528 --> 00:37:22,364
[BELL RINGS
AND ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
560
00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:24,282
Come on, come on!
561
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:29,496
[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
562
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:47,847
What are you doing?
563
00:37:48,057 --> 00:37:51,685
That's not the way I taught you to hit.
You gotta hit like this. Like this!
564
00:37:51,894 --> 00:37:53,395
Now, hit him!
565
00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:56,564
[CHEERING]
566
00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:57,816
[YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
567
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,946
[BOOING AND BELL RINGING]
568
00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:05,407
[BELL CONTINUES RINGING]
569
00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:10,370
[BELL CONTINUES RINGING]
570
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:22,132
The eyewitness is still
the main source of convictions.
571
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,720
Mr. Miller, I want you to take your time.
Study these men very carefully.
572
00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:29,931
Then tell us if you see the man
who robbed your store.
573
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:31,850
Let me reassure you, Mr. Miller...
574
00:38:32,059 --> 00:38:35,312
the suspects cannot see you
when it's dark in here.
575
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:39,607
Well, Mr. Miller? Is he there?
576
00:38:40,484 --> 00:38:41,844
MILLER:
You sure they can't see me?
577
00:38:41,986 --> 00:38:44,237
My wife said they'd see me,
and not to do this.
578
00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:47,282
OFFICER:
Mr. Miller, bright lights in there...
579
00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:51,286
dark in here. He can't see us.
Do you see him?
580
00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,914
Bringing cadets into the
field this early...
581
00:38:55,124 --> 00:38:57,417
has all the makings
of one of your lousy ideas.
582
00:38:57,626 --> 00:39:00,003
What's the matter, Mahoney?
No faith in the cadets?
583
00:39:00,212 --> 00:39:02,589
How hard can it be, Miller?
Is he there or isn't he?
584
00:39:02,798 --> 00:39:06,176
I don't know.
He really didn't steal that much.
585
00:39:06,552 --> 00:39:09,179
Well, the hospital stay was quite restful.
586
00:39:09,722 --> 00:39:11,264
I wish I'd listened to my wife.
587
00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:15,518
For God's sake, Miller, will you
take your balls out of your wife's purse...
588
00:39:15,728 --> 00:39:17,562
and finger the dirt bag?
589
00:39:18,105 --> 00:39:19,356
It's him!
590
00:39:20,066 --> 00:39:23,318
- Come on, you son of a bitch! I'll kill you!
- No, it's him.
591
00:39:23,527 --> 00:39:25,278
He's the one, the priest.
592
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,655
[MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY]
593
00:39:28,157 --> 00:39:32,285
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
594
00:39:32,495 --> 00:39:35,663
Sir, honestly, we had no idea
the evaluation committee would be here.
595
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:37,874
We thought
it would help advance the training.
596
00:39:38,084 --> 00:39:41,002
- What do you mean, we?
- It was a lousy idea.
597
00:39:41,212 --> 00:39:45,423
Now I've got a bunch trainees hanging
around with this damn committee!
598
00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:49,969
I've been, like, noticing you,
and you're a nice enough lady...
599
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:51,971
but you're too tense.
600
00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:54,641
You got to relax. You got to calm down.
601
00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:57,769
[YELLING]
602
00:40:00,564 --> 00:40:03,566
You take the big guy,
I'll take the little guy.
603
00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,402
MAN 1:
We got a cop.
604
00:40:05,986 --> 00:40:08,905
[CHEERING]
605
00:40:14,286 --> 00:40:16,579
No sweat. This is my old gang.
606
00:40:16,789 --> 00:40:18,164
[ALL SCREAMING]
607
00:40:18,374 --> 00:40:22,335
Would you like to go out to grab a burger
and then go to the movies or something?
608
00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:27,132
I'd like to introduce you guys
to the future Mrs. Zed!
609
00:40:27,341 --> 00:40:29,217
[ALL SCREAMING]
610
00:40:49,363 --> 00:40:51,656
[BOY COUGHING]
611
00:40:51,866 --> 00:40:53,032
Hey, son.
612
00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:55,910
- Excuse me, Officer.
- Yes, ma'am?
613
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,538
We are sitting in the nonsmoking section...
614
00:40:58,747 --> 00:41:02,375
and that man refuses
to put out his cigar.
615
00:41:04,253 --> 00:41:06,504
I'll take care of this, ma'am.
616
00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,715
Excuse me, sir.
617
00:41:09,091 --> 00:41:13,386
You're sitting in a nonsmoking area.
Would you please extinguish that cigar?
618
00:41:13,596 --> 00:41:15,722
Drop dead.
I'll put it out when I'm finished.
619
00:41:15,931 --> 00:41:18,099
You'll put it out now, mister!
620
00:41:25,232 --> 00:41:29,986
[INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO]
621
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:34,324
HOOKS:
Hit it!
622
00:41:35,451 --> 00:41:36,826
Now, go get him!
623
00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:43,249
[SIREN WAILING]
624
00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:50,673
- Hurry up!
- I'm trying. I'm going as fast-
625
00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:51,883
HOOKS: Drive!
MRS. FACKLER: Aah!
626
00:41:52,092 --> 00:41:53,259
[SCREAMING]
627
00:41:54,803 --> 00:41:56,304
[SCREAMING]
628
00:42:04,438 --> 00:42:05,730
[CRASHING AND GLASS BREAKING]
629
00:42:13,906 --> 00:42:16,199
MRS. FACKLER:
Will this count against us, sir?
630
00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:23,331
You know, I've been here at the academy
many wonderful years...
631
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,458
and I'm very fond of it.
632
00:42:26,752 --> 00:42:29,254
- The new cadets are doing well?
JONES & CALLAHAN: Yes, sir.
633
00:42:29,463 --> 00:42:33,508
- We are going to succeed now, aren't we?
JONES & CALLAHAN: Yes, sir.
634
00:42:33,759 --> 00:42:35,760
Good. Good, good.
635
00:42:39,181 --> 00:42:41,307
[CASH REGISTER BEEPING]
636
00:42:43,018 --> 00:42:44,769
[JONES MIMICKING BEEPING]
637
00:42:45,479 --> 00:42:47,730
[CASH REGISTER BEEPING]
638
00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,360
[JONES MIMICKING BEEPING]
639
00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:54,821
[JONES MIMICKING ALARM]
640
00:42:56,657 --> 00:43:00,785
One more ping out of you, Jonesey,
I'll tape your lips permanently together.
641
00:43:01,203 --> 00:43:02,203
[JONES BEEPING]
642
00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:03,997
Hey, Jon-
643
00:43:04,206 --> 00:43:05,873
[ALL LAUGHING]
644
00:43:06,083 --> 00:43:07,667
MAHONEY:
Listen, everybody.
645
00:43:07,876 --> 00:43:11,212
I want you to forget today. You don't have
to be ready for the field yet.
646
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:14,048
- We sure proved that.
- It wasn't a total loss.
647
00:43:14,258 --> 00:43:15,883
Of course it wasn't.
648
00:43:16,093 --> 00:43:19,012
One police car and two civilian cars
completely totaled...
649
00:43:19,221 --> 00:43:20,680
three citizens' complaints...
650
00:43:20,889 --> 00:43:24,434
two members of the evaluation committee
under heavy sedation.
651
00:43:24,643 --> 00:43:27,312
I wouldn't call it a total loss,
would you? No.
652
00:43:27,521 --> 00:43:30,857
Bartender, how about some champagne
for me and my associate?
653
00:43:31,066 --> 00:43:33,568
We're celebrating. Come on, Proctor.
654
00:43:37,197 --> 00:43:39,407
- Let's just get out of here.
- No.
655
00:43:39,617 --> 00:43:41,909
[JONES BEEPING]
656
00:43:46,498 --> 00:43:48,833
Boy, that's a waste of champagne, sir.
657
00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:51,377
Now, what is that crack
supposed to mean, Mahoney?
658
00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:55,381
It means we don't think you can tell the
difference between beer and champagne.
659
00:43:55,591 --> 00:43:57,425
[MAUSER LAUGHING]
660
00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:59,719
You know something?
You two are brain dead.
661
00:43:59,928 --> 00:44:02,013
Oh. Bet you can't. Loser pays.
662
00:44:02,681 --> 00:44:05,933
- You're on, Mahoney.
- Can I have a beer in the same glass?
663
00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:08,019
- Mind if we blindfold you, sir?
- Why?
664
00:44:08,228 --> 00:44:10,104
- We wouldn't want you to peek.
- Right.
665
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:12,482
- See anything? Huh?
- No.
666
00:44:12,691 --> 00:44:13,900
- Sure?
- No, I can't see.
667
00:44:14,109 --> 00:44:17,236
Okay. Round and round
and guess the drink.
668
00:44:24,536 --> 00:44:26,412
- Champagne!
- Oh!
669
00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:28,331
You win! He always wins!
670
00:44:28,540 --> 00:44:29,749
[MAUSER LAUGHING]
671
00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:32,585
All right, we'll pay up.
Let's get out of here.
672
00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:35,672
- You two jerks.
- You really showed them, sir.
673
00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:41,844
- Proctor.
- Yes, sir?
674
00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:44,972
Oh.
Give me a hand with this. Take it off.
675
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:48,851
No, don't go slow.
Go fast, so it doesn't hurt.
676
00:44:50,145 --> 00:44:52,647
[MAUSER SCREAMS]
677
00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:55,650
That hurt. Am I okay?
678
00:44:55,859 --> 00:44:58,695
It's nice. There's a
mirror right here, sir.
679
00:45:01,115 --> 00:45:02,699
I got no eyebrows.
680
00:45:03,826 --> 00:45:06,619
- Where are my eyebrows?
- Right here, sir.
681
00:45:08,664 --> 00:45:11,499
- This is going very well.
MAUSER: Yeah?
682
00:45:11,667 --> 00:45:15,086
Oh, yeah. That's great. It's coming.
683
00:45:15,921 --> 00:45:19,132
That's great. That's nice.
You're gonna like that, sir.
684
00:45:19,341 --> 00:45:20,425
Let me see it.
685
00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:24,053
Look at that. Look at this,
this angle over here, every angle.
686
00:45:24,263 --> 00:45:26,389
MAUSER: I can't see it!
- It's yours.
687
00:45:28,350 --> 00:45:29,892
[CLEARS THROAT]
688
00:45:30,102 --> 00:45:32,603
So, what do you think, sir?
689
00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:34,605
I think I like it.
690
00:45:35,065 --> 00:45:37,400
LASSARD:
Commissioner Hurst was very upset.
691
00:45:38,026 --> 00:45:41,946
He used many bad words
to describe our academy.
692
00:45:42,156 --> 00:45:43,573
Some were even foreign.
693
00:45:43,782 --> 00:45:46,617
Italian or Irish, I think.
694
00:45:48,537 --> 00:45:51,205
This is survival of the fittest...
695
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:53,833
and after what happened downtown...
696
00:45:54,042 --> 00:45:55,460
it seems we're not very fit.
697
00:45:55,669 --> 00:45:59,756
- Sir, you're not giving up, are you?
- Of course not.
698
00:46:00,132 --> 00:46:02,925
I have no doubt we shall be victorious.
699
00:46:03,635 --> 00:46:08,598
Well, I have a little doubt,
but, basically, I'm an optimist.
700
00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:12,935
Now, I know the committee
will be observing us here...
701
00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:18,316
and in the field,
and at the Police persons Ball...
702
00:46:18,776 --> 00:46:22,069
so we must do nothing
to dishonor the uniform.
703
00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:28,367
- What was I saying?
ALL [IN UNISON]: Dismissed!
704
00:46:28,577 --> 00:46:29,660
Right.
705
00:46:31,789 --> 00:46:34,707
HOOKS:
This map will pinpoint trouble spots...
706
00:46:34,917 --> 00:46:37,335
over a 10-square-mile area.
707
00:46:38,170 --> 00:46:41,964
This dispatch unit has a 200-mile range...
708
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,343
and a computerized city grid.
709
00:46:45,552 --> 00:46:49,305
This computerized city grid
tracks police vehicle movement.
710
00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:52,892
- Is that clear, everyone?
ALL: Yes, ma'am!
711
00:46:53,101 --> 00:46:54,560
Yeah, why not?
712
00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:58,523
HIGHTOWER:
In tear gas training...
713
00:46:58,732 --> 00:47:01,025
the manual says
you should have your mask on.
714
00:47:01,235 --> 00:47:05,238
Be out of here 30 seconds after
the canister comes through the window.
715
00:47:05,447 --> 00:47:06,864
Any questions?
716
00:47:08,450 --> 00:47:09,742
Good luck.
717
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:23,881
- Nice throw, Hightower.
- It went in, didn't it?
718
00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:29,762
All right, everybody out!
719
00:47:35,060 --> 00:47:37,603
Everybody present and accounted for?
720
00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:39,772
[ZED SCREAMS]
721
00:47:42,985 --> 00:47:46,362
I feel good. I'll be in
there if you need me.
722
00:47:46,572 --> 00:47:48,447
[ZED SCREAMING]
723
00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:51,576
[ZED CONTINUES SCREAMING]
724
00:47:52,035 --> 00:47:54,829
Look, I know you people
have had a tough week...
725
00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:57,164
but there's something you should know.
726
00:47:57,374 --> 00:48:00,501
You may be the last class
to attend this academy.
727
00:48:01,003 --> 00:48:04,881
I don't know if this means anything to you,
but it sure does to us.
728
00:48:05,424 --> 00:48:09,135
That's why, we not only
want you to keep up the good work...
729
00:48:09,344 --> 00:48:10,970
we want you to work harder.
730
00:48:11,179 --> 00:48:12,972
Because we think that you people...
731
00:48:13,181 --> 00:48:15,308
can be the best class
this academy has ever seen.
732
00:48:15,517 --> 00:48:17,518
You can do it. Believe me.
733
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,645
Once, even I was a screw-up.
734
00:48:20,105 --> 00:48:23,566
Let's go out there and win one
for Comdt. Lassard, okay?
735
00:48:23,775 --> 00:48:25,860
Okay? Yeah, come on.
736
00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,363
CADET 1:
Okay. Yeah.
737
00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:31,532
Attention!
738
00:48:32,492 --> 00:48:33,701
Dismissed.
739
00:48:35,078 --> 00:48:36,454
Did you hear that?
740
00:48:36,663 --> 00:48:39,707
No? Of course not. How silly of me to ask.
741
00:48:39,917 --> 00:48:42,168
You're too far from the window.
742
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:46,589
- Look sharp, Mahoney.
- Right.
743
00:48:46,798 --> 00:48:48,215
- Sgt. Mahoney.
- Yeah.
744
00:48:48,425 --> 00:48:50,718
- I was really impressed by what you said.
- Oh.
745
00:48:51,094 --> 00:48:52,470
You really care.
746
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,681
Yeah. Just don't spread it around.
It might ruin my rep.
747
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:59,685
I owe you an apology for the way I acted.
You were just trying to be cute.
748
00:48:59,895 --> 00:49:04,774
Trying? On a cuteness scale of one to 10,
I'm an eight.
749
00:49:04,983 --> 00:49:07,109
- Five.
- You're right, I am a five.
750
00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:10,780
Listen, I'll accept your apology
if you accept mine.
751
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,699
- Deal.
- All right. You know something?
752
00:49:13,909 --> 00:49:17,161
Have you ever felt,
after meeting someone for 10 minutes...
753
00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:20,039
- you've known them for two, three years?
- No.
754
00:49:20,248 --> 00:49:23,084
- Oh.
- Aah! Mahoney.
755
00:49:23,460 --> 00:49:25,753
- Thanks, Mahoney.
- Welcome, sir.
756
00:49:26,505 --> 00:49:29,507
[JONES BEAT-BOXING]
757
00:49:46,316 --> 00:49:47,608
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
758
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:51,862
Excuse, please. Shall I come back
when all is well with your mind?
759
00:49:52,823 --> 00:49:56,283
My mind is as well as it gets,
but you look a little tense.
760
00:49:56,994 --> 00:50:00,162
You see, I have great confusions...
761
00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:03,249
about Sgt. Callahan.
762
00:50:04,751 --> 00:50:05,960
[JONES SIGHS]
763
00:50:06,169 --> 00:50:08,504
You've come to the right place, brother.
764
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,508
Grab yourself pad and pencil because...
765
00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:16,345
[IN DEEP VOICE]
the love doctor is about to speak.
766
00:50:19,266 --> 00:50:20,975
Yo!
767
00:50:29,776 --> 00:50:31,694
In my country, it is written...
768
00:50:31,903 --> 00:50:35,156
only kiss of beautiful woman...
769
00:50:35,741 --> 00:50:39,660
can compare to petal of a rose...
770
00:50:42,164 --> 00:50:43,247
babe.
771
00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:51,547
In America, talk is cheap.
772
00:50:56,553 --> 00:50:58,721
I love America.
773
00:51:01,933 --> 00:51:04,935
[DANCE PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]
774
00:51:26,416 --> 00:51:29,919
Hey. Hi, there. Remember me?
775
00:51:32,047 --> 00:51:35,049
Ah, yes, of course. How could I forget?
776
00:51:35,258 --> 00:51:36,717
Who was that?
777
00:51:37,177 --> 00:51:38,928
Just an old friend.
778
00:51:39,471 --> 00:51:42,848
Why are we celebrating?
It's Mauser, 42. Lassard, zip.
779
00:51:43,058 --> 00:51:44,475
You think we're doing that well?
780
00:51:44,684 --> 00:51:47,728
- Mahoney.
- Oh.
781
00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:50,606
How's tricks? Not to worry.
782
00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:52,441
Oh.
783
00:51:52,651 --> 00:51:55,111
Your friend forgot to wear
her "for rent" sign.
784
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:59,406
Oh. She's such a sweet kid.
My aerobics instructor.
785
00:52:00,826 --> 00:52:05,246
Mahoney, see this ear?
It's a finely tuned crap detector.
786
00:52:05,455 --> 00:52:09,458
Oh. And a lovely ear it is. If I blow
in it, will you follow me anywhere?
787
00:52:09,876 --> 00:52:13,504
Well, I'm surprised
you had the nerve to show up...
788
00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:16,632
after your cadets humiliated
the Police Department.
789
00:52:16,842 --> 00:52:19,009
Personally, it makes me sick.
790
00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:22,638
How about you guys?
Don't you guys think...
791
00:52:25,308 --> 00:52:27,143
Coming, Commissioner.
792
00:52:28,770 --> 00:52:30,354
[MAHONEY CHUCKLES]
793
00:52:30,814 --> 00:52:32,982
Will you think less of me
if I call him a slime bucket?
794
00:52:33,150 --> 00:52:37,069
Mm-mm. In fact, I'll have my aerobics
instructor confirm it. I'll be right back.
795
00:52:38,697 --> 00:52:40,447
Hey.
796
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:44,785
- So how you doing?
- Terrific. I need one of your special favors.
797
00:52:45,162 --> 00:52:47,705
- Right here?
- Mm-mm-mm.
798
00:52:54,129 --> 00:52:58,090
Oh. I just love a man
that eats shrimp that way.
799
00:52:58,300 --> 00:53:00,759
- You do?
- Oh, yes.
800
00:53:01,845 --> 00:53:03,012
Come on.
801
00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:09,351
- How does he do that?
- The question is, why does he do that?
802
00:53:10,020 --> 00:53:12,354
It is a power of the mind.
803
00:53:29,664 --> 00:53:31,040
[SCREAMS]
804
00:53:31,541 --> 00:53:33,292
[SCREAMS]
805
00:53:36,046 --> 00:53:37,129
Allow me.
806
00:53:37,339 --> 00:53:40,382
What kind of idiot klutz are you?
807
00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,968
Come on, dumpling.
808
00:53:43,178 --> 00:53:46,889
I witnessed the entire attack, sir.
My apologies, Mrs. Hurst.
809
00:53:47,098 --> 00:53:51,185
May I say Copeland is not one of my cadets.
He is a member of Lassard's staff.
810
00:53:51,394 --> 00:53:55,105
You look different, Mauser.
Are you putting on weight?
811
00:53:55,607 --> 00:53:57,942
Come on, dumpling.
We'll get you cleaned up.
812
00:53:58,151 --> 00:54:02,071
That's Lassard's staff, sir.
Send me the cleaning bill on that, sir.
813
00:54:12,707 --> 00:54:14,541
You want the last shrimp?
814
00:54:15,168 --> 00:54:19,255
- There's only one thing that I want.
- What? I'll call room service.
815
00:54:19,464 --> 00:54:21,006
Don't be silly.
816
00:54:21,591 --> 00:54:25,844
What I want is for you to wait in there,
in the bathroom...
817
00:54:26,054 --> 00:54:27,346
while I get ready.
818
00:54:27,555 --> 00:54:30,099
- Why can't I wait in here?
- We just met.
819
00:54:30,308 --> 00:54:33,185
Come on, can't a girl be
a little bit old-fashioned?
820
00:54:33,395 --> 00:54:36,730
I'll call you just as soon as I'm ready.
821
00:54:39,776 --> 00:54:41,860
Come on, it's kind of drafty.
822
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:44,780
I'll get some help.
823
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:47,866
A little patience. I'll be out in a minute.
824
00:54:48,368 --> 00:54:50,744
Hurry up. Somebody wants to use the...
825
00:54:54,457 --> 00:54:57,459
Come on, let me in! Hurry up!
826
00:54:59,796 --> 00:55:02,256
OLD LADY:
You should be ashamed of yourself.
827
00:55:04,467 --> 00:55:06,635
I'll make up your room in a minute.
828
00:55:07,470 --> 00:55:09,388
MAID:
Where you going with my cart?
829
00:55:09,681 --> 00:55:12,057
- My cart.
- Let me borrow it.
830
00:55:12,267 --> 00:55:13,976
I'm a police officer-
831
00:55:15,020 --> 00:55:16,353
It's mine.
832
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:19,189
MAN 1:
What's this?
833
00:55:19,899 --> 00:55:22,276
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
834
00:55:22,485 --> 00:55:24,987
Hi. Warm tonight.
835
00:55:26,698 --> 00:55:28,282
How's it going?
836
00:55:34,205 --> 00:55:35,789
PROCTOR:
Aah! Ow!
837
00:55:36,124 --> 00:55:39,918
[BAND PLAYING "TEAM THING"]
838
00:55:57,020 --> 00:56:00,606
[SINGING] It's a comfort
And a strange kind of notion
839
00:56:00,815 --> 00:56:04,068
Knowing that you got complete devotion
840
00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:07,363
To feel no matter what's the problem
841
00:56:07,572 --> 00:56:10,282
Together we can solve it
842
00:56:10,492 --> 00:56:13,619
It's a team thing, it takes two
843
00:56:13,828 --> 00:56:17,206
It's all the time me, all the time you
844
00:56:17,415 --> 00:56:20,167
It's a team thing I'm talking about
845
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:23,420
It's a team thing all the way out
846
00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:27,341
It goes like this now
Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee
847
00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:31,011
Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee
848
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:34,264
Oo-oo shoo-bee-do-doo-bee
849
00:56:34,474 --> 00:56:37,559
No one could ever make me doubt you
850
00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:41,814
They know I care too much
About my baby
851
00:56:42,023 --> 00:56:44,900
It's a team thing, it takes two
852
00:56:45,652 --> 00:56:48,695
It's all the time me, all the time you
853
00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:52,116
It's a team thing I'm talking about
854
00:56:52,325 --> 00:56:55,577
It's a team thing all the way out
855
00:56:55,787 --> 00:56:58,747
It's a team thing, it takes two
856
00:56:58,957 --> 00:57:02,668
It's all the time me, all the time you
857
00:57:02,877 --> 00:57:05,295
It's a team thing I'm talking about
858
00:57:05,505 --> 00:57:08,841
It's a team thing all the way out
859
00:57:09,050 --> 00:57:12,344
It's a team thing, it takes two
860
00:57:13,012 --> 00:57:16,140
- hands him the ticket,
and the driver said-
861
00:57:16,349 --> 00:57:19,852
Ha-ha-ha. That's real funny, sir.
Great joke teller, the Commissioner.
862
00:57:20,061 --> 00:57:22,187
Are you enjoying yourselves?
Are you comfortable?
863
00:57:22,397 --> 00:57:24,857
Waiter, round of drinks. On me.
864
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:27,443
Drinks are free, you idiot.
865
00:57:27,652 --> 00:57:30,821
Oh. Yes, sir. How stupid of me.
866
00:57:31,030 --> 00:57:33,198
If you don't mind
my saying so, Mrs. Hurst...
867
00:57:33,408 --> 00:57:36,326
that fruit punch stain
dried real nicely.
868
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,662
[MAUSER LAUGHING]
869
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:41,915
You are not going to influence
this evaluation committee.
870
00:57:42,125 --> 00:57:45,043
So will you please stop
all this slobbering?
871
00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:49,298
Sir, I think I can get it under control
if I could only find out who's winning.
872
00:57:49,507 --> 00:57:55,137
Well, let's just say that Lassard's cadets
have not exactly impressed them.
873
00:57:55,972 --> 00:57:57,890
Thank you very much, sir.
874
00:57:58,099 --> 00:57:59,850
Get hold of yourself, man.
875
00:58:01,352 --> 00:58:04,062
Good Lord! You're falling apart.
876
00:58:07,025 --> 00:58:09,568
- Excuse me. Commissioner?
- What the hell do you want?
877
00:58:09,777 --> 00:58:12,571
We've had reports of a naked man
terrorizing the hotel.
878
00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:15,157
He's obviously not at this table.
879
00:58:15,366 --> 00:58:17,075
- Mauser!
- Yes, sir.
880
00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:19,453
Would you take care of this naked person?
881
00:58:19,662 --> 00:58:22,039
Naked person, yes, sir!
I'll get right on top of him!
882
00:58:22,248 --> 00:58:23,582
Proctor!
883
00:58:45,021 --> 00:58:46,438
[ENGINE STARTS]
884
00:58:46,606 --> 00:58:48,065
[LAUGHS]
885
00:58:55,865 --> 00:58:57,241
[LAUGHING]
886
00:58:57,450 --> 00:59:03,288
Well, glad to see you enjoying yourselves,
men, despite the bad news.
887
00:59:03,498 --> 00:59:05,040
Bad news? There's been bad news?
888
00:59:05,250 --> 00:59:09,211
Well, bad news for you, good news for me.
889
00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:12,214
Your cadets have been doing
their usual fine job...
890
00:59:12,423 --> 00:59:15,300
so it looks like I've got this one
in the bag.
891
00:59:15,510 --> 00:59:19,304
Congratulations! I'm so happy
when someone I know wins.
892
00:59:19,514 --> 00:59:22,224
I always think these contests are fixed.
893
00:59:22,767 --> 00:59:24,101
Wait a minute.
894
00:59:24,519 --> 00:59:28,689
- If you're winning, then...
- You're losing. Ha, ha.
895
00:59:28,898 --> 00:59:30,732
Sorry to spoil your fun.
896
00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:34,736
- It's not fair.
- Any ideas?
897
00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:38,699
I could twist off Mauser's shiny head
and roll it down the street.
898
00:59:39,450 --> 00:59:41,660
Hold that thought, Hightower.
899
00:59:50,295 --> 00:59:52,546
[ENGINE STALLING]
900
00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:54,423
Come on. Damn it!
901
00:59:54,632 --> 00:59:56,800
[ENGINE STALLING]
902
01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:17,571
Oh.
903
01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:42,387
[PANTING]
904
01:00:42,597 --> 01:00:45,349
[JEAN-MARC DOMPIERRE AND
HIS ORCHESTRA'S "EL BIMBO" PLAYING]
905
01:00:54,567 --> 01:00:57,819
[CROWD APPLAUDING]
906
01:00:58,404 --> 01:01:00,364
Governor, Commissioner-
907
01:01:00,698 --> 01:01:02,199
MAHONEY:
Ladies and gentlemen...
908
01:01:02,408 --> 01:01:07,287
may I introduce you
to a very special man, Comdt. Mauser.
909
01:01:07,830 --> 01:01:11,208
As you know, the committee's
been evaluating both of our academies...
910
01:01:11,417 --> 01:01:13,210
and they're very close to a decision.
911
01:01:13,419 --> 01:01:15,253
And you know what this man
said about that?
912
01:01:15,463 --> 01:01:16,963
It's a fact...
913
01:01:17,173 --> 01:01:18,840
It's a "facahamahoma."
914
01:01:19,050 --> 01:01:20,717
Does this man have a way with words?
915
01:01:20,927 --> 01:01:24,471
He said you can't judge an academy
by rushing its cadets out into the field...
916
01:01:24,681 --> 01:01:27,641
or by seeing whose cadets
marched the straightest, no.
917
01:01:27,850 --> 01:01:31,645
Do you know what the man,
I like to call "Mr. Policeman," said?
918
01:01:31,854 --> 01:01:34,773
"Forget any mistakes cadets
have made over the last few weeks."
919
01:01:34,982 --> 01:01:36,108
They were just learning.
920
01:01:36,317 --> 01:01:39,820
"It's these last days of competition
that should determine the winner."
921
01:01:40,029 --> 01:01:42,948
Comdt. Mauser, I salute you.
922
01:01:43,533 --> 01:01:45,200
We all salute you!
923
01:01:45,410 --> 01:01:47,536
[ALL CHEERING]
924
01:01:55,294 --> 01:01:58,296
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
925
01:02:03,094 --> 01:02:06,763
HURST: This is the final day
of the evaluation competition...
926
01:02:07,390 --> 01:02:11,143
and though Comdt. Mauser's academy
is in the lead...
927
01:02:11,436 --> 01:02:16,314
it's how you perform today
that will determine our winner.
928
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:20,193
Police personnel
will monitor your performance...
929
01:02:20,403 --> 01:02:22,070
at crime locations.
930
01:02:22,780 --> 01:02:27,534
My advice is to treat this
exactly as if it were real.
931
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:29,911
Attention!
932
01:02:31,205 --> 01:02:32,539
Dismissed!
933
01:02:34,208 --> 01:02:38,170
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
934
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:43,175
I'm going to accompany the Governor
to the charity regatta.
935
01:02:43,384 --> 01:02:45,761
He wants one cadet
from each academy to go with us.
936
01:02:45,970 --> 01:02:47,220
But the competition, sir.
937
01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:52,142
The Governor thought it would be nice
to evaluate cadets in a social situation.
938
01:02:54,103 --> 01:02:56,855
Proctor, what is this?
Hurst said one from each academy.
939
01:02:57,064 --> 01:02:59,900
They're just as good as one man, almost.
940
01:03:06,866 --> 01:03:10,577
The phone's got my quarter
and the operator won't give it back to me.
941
01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,454
I'll handle this, ma'am.
942
01:03:13,539 --> 01:03:16,541
- Operator, this is Sgt. Tackleberry.
OPERATOR: So?
943
01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:20,921
- Please relinquish this lady's quarter.
OPERATOR: I told her we'll send her a refund.
944
01:03:21,631 --> 01:03:22,672
You'll pay her now!
945
01:03:22,882 --> 01:03:25,467
OPERATOR: I'm sorry, sir,
would you like to speak to-?
946
01:03:26,093 --> 01:03:27,803
Stand back, ma'am.
947
01:03:37,021 --> 01:03:39,231
Can you identify your quarter, ma'am?
948
01:03:42,485 --> 01:03:45,862
MRS. FACKLER:
Sgt. Hooks, we got a 10-48 in Sector 1.
949
01:03:46,072 --> 01:03:47,405
Send in Tackleberry.
950
01:03:47,615 --> 01:03:51,952
Tackleberry? He's across town.
Hightower's only three blocks away.
951
01:03:52,161 --> 01:03:53,829
Send in Tackleberry.
952
01:03:54,038 --> 01:03:55,789
You heard him. Do it.
953
01:03:58,626 --> 01:04:05,632
[SIREN WAILING
AND CAR HORN HONKING]
954
01:04:24,193 --> 01:04:26,736
- Sweetchuck!
- What a lobby.
955
01:04:33,327 --> 01:04:35,829
Secure the elevator. I'll take the stairs.
956
01:05:08,571 --> 01:05:09,613
Easy.
957
01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:15,201
Sgt. Hooks, there's a 10-48!
958
01:05:15,411 --> 01:05:17,746
All right. Send in car 46.
959
01:05:18,205 --> 01:05:20,415
MRS. FACKLER:
Car 46. Car 46.
960
01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:24,419
Hightower, there's a roving gang
in the Gower district.
961
01:05:24,837 --> 01:05:26,421
KIRKLAND:
Oh, boy, this is it.
962
01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:28,256
[SIREN WAILING]
963
01:05:28,424 --> 01:05:30,675
[LAUGHING]
964
01:05:30,885 --> 01:05:32,218
Right, right.
965
01:05:32,428 --> 01:05:34,971
Take a left...
No, you're going towards the expressway!
966
01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:36,348
Take a U-turn on...
967
01:05:37,350 --> 01:05:39,601
Make a U-turn on Flint Street...
968
01:05:39,810 --> 01:05:42,812
No, you're going towards the expressway!
What is that?
969
01:05:44,523 --> 01:05:46,274
No, wait, make a U-turn!
970
01:05:46,484 --> 01:05:48,443
- Where are we going?
- Just relax.
971
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:51,655
[SCREAMING]
972
01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:56,660
[MRS. FACKLER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO]
973
01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:58,453
Not a word.
974
01:06:00,206 --> 01:06:03,959
MRS. FACKLER:
- then you go around. Stop! Don't...
975
01:06:06,462 --> 01:06:08,213
[BOTH LAUGH]
976
01:06:13,427 --> 01:06:15,428
[GUESTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
977
01:06:24,855 --> 01:06:26,564
We're with the Governor at the trophy.
978
01:06:26,774 --> 01:06:28,942
The purpose of the regatta, of course...
979
01:06:29,151 --> 01:06:31,945
is we're hoping to raise about $20,000
for my campaign.
980
01:06:32,154 --> 01:06:33,488
I was going to-
981
01:06:33,698 --> 01:06:36,258
MAN 1: Good luck, Governor.
- We're moving toward the punch bowl.
982
01:06:36,367 --> 01:06:38,535
Hello, Judge. Pick a winner, huh?
983
01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:40,036
CADETS:
We've stopped.
984
01:06:40,246 --> 01:06:42,330
- Would you back off?
CADETS: We're backing off.
985
01:06:42,748 --> 01:06:44,416
What are you trying to do, injure him?
986
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:47,168
Comdt. Mauser's cadets
never abandon their posts, sir!
987
01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:49,212
Unlike some cadets I might mention, sir!
988
01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:51,131
[LAUGHING]
989
01:07:02,810 --> 01:07:04,144
[LAUGHING]
990
01:07:11,986 --> 01:07:15,697
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
991
01:07:20,745 --> 01:07:22,537
Holy cow!
992
01:07:27,835 --> 01:07:29,335
Mahoney.
993
01:07:29,545 --> 01:07:32,088
Mahoney, somebody, I need help.
994
01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:33,923
I need help.
995
01:07:36,218 --> 01:07:39,387
Listen, the busboys...
996
01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:41,723
are shooting my nose.
997
01:07:42,183 --> 01:07:44,684
MRS. FACKLER:
Did you read that? Was that for real?
998
01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:46,478
We heard it. Sir?
999
01:07:46,687 --> 01:07:49,397
- Maybe we better check it out.
- What about the evaluation?
1000
01:07:49,607 --> 01:07:52,650
One of my boys may be in trouble.
Screw the evaluation.
1001
01:07:52,860 --> 01:07:55,028
I love it when you talk dirty, sir.
1002
01:07:55,237 --> 01:07:57,614
Mahoney must think
he's as dumb as we are.
1003
01:07:57,823 --> 01:08:00,325
- We're not gonna fall for that stuff.
- Yeah.
1004
01:08:00,534 --> 01:08:03,536
He must be getting desperate,
trying to sucker us with that crap.
1005
01:08:06,123 --> 01:08:08,708
[GUESTS CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY
AND LAUGHING]
1006
01:08:08,918 --> 01:08:09,918
Go.
1007
01:08:10,127 --> 01:08:12,962
ROBBER 1
Come on, let's go. Come on.
1008
01:08:14,048 --> 01:08:16,508
ROBBER 2:
Get your hands in the air. It's a stickup!
1009
01:08:16,842 --> 01:08:18,051
[SCREAMING]
1010
01:08:18,636 --> 01:08:21,054
If there was trouble,
Baxter would let us know.
1011
01:08:21,263 --> 01:08:23,098
Take them, boys.
1012
01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,184
Don't you touch that.
1013
01:08:26,685 --> 01:08:28,812
No, not the one for bravery.
1014
01:08:33,484 --> 01:08:36,486
[SIRENS WAILING]
1015
01:09:03,597 --> 01:09:05,265
MAHONEY:
There's the Yacht Club.
1016
01:09:07,977 --> 01:09:10,145
ADAMS:
How are we gonna get there, Sergeant?
1017
01:09:12,940 --> 01:09:14,732
How do you look in a wet suit?
1018
01:09:14,942 --> 01:09:17,402
Hand over your money and jewels
and nobody gets hurt!
1019
01:09:17,570 --> 01:09:19,737
You'll never get away with this.
I'm the Governor.
1020
01:09:19,947 --> 01:09:23,116
The Governor? Did you hear that, boys?
We got the Governor.
1021
01:09:23,325 --> 01:09:24,325
ROBBERS:
Hooray!
1022
01:09:24,535 --> 01:09:26,744
You must be breaking your mother's heart.
1023
01:09:26,954 --> 01:09:29,622
Why don't you ask her?
She's right over there.
1024
01:09:30,207 --> 01:09:31,958
Hi.
1025
01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:34,419
- Oh, yeah. She looks like you.
- Hmm?
1026
01:10:00,362 --> 01:10:02,780
Gather our boys. We got trouble coming!
1027
01:10:18,881 --> 01:10:20,173
[SCREAMING]
1028
01:10:26,889 --> 01:10:29,432
Spread out, spread out. Spread.
1029
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:30,642
I can't get Baxter.
1030
01:10:30,851 --> 01:10:34,729
Something's going on at the marina.
Right over there. Take the next right.
1031
01:10:51,538 --> 01:10:54,874
Just relax.
You've got the right to remain silent.
1032
01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:57,210
- You passed it.
- They're not yielding.
1033
01:10:57,419 --> 01:10:58,795
- Pull over to the right.
- Yield!
1034
01:10:59,004 --> 01:11:00,755
You're missing it. There goes the right.
1035
01:11:00,965 --> 01:11:03,007
We're in a police car
and they're not yielding.
1036
01:11:06,262 --> 01:11:08,054
[ROBBER SCREAMS]
1037
01:11:08,931 --> 01:11:10,390
[LAUGHS]
1038
01:11:10,599 --> 01:11:11,724
Move!
1039
01:11:15,813 --> 01:11:18,398
MAHONEY: Stop. Hold it.
- Mahoney!
1040
01:11:18,607 --> 01:11:20,525
Police officer. Stop right there!
1041
01:11:27,241 --> 01:11:30,118
Karen, I'm going after the Governor.
1042
01:11:36,500 --> 01:11:37,959
- Are you okay?
ADAMS: Yes.
1043
01:11:38,168 --> 01:11:40,545
- You do look good in a wet suit.
ADAMS: So do you.
1044
01:11:47,553 --> 01:11:49,887
[MIMICKING REVVING ENGINE]
1045
01:11:50,097 --> 01:11:56,102
[MIMICKING HOMING DEVICE]
1046
01:11:56,478 --> 01:11:57,687
CADET:
Freeze!
1047
01:11:59,565 --> 01:12:00,815
Drop it!
1048
01:12:05,029 --> 01:12:07,488
Go ahead. Make my day...
1049
01:12:08,115 --> 01:12:09,282
punk!
1050
01:12:13,829 --> 01:12:15,204
ROBBERS:
Freeze, cop!
1051
01:12:16,457 --> 01:12:18,666
Uh-oh. Trouble.
1052
01:12:29,928 --> 01:12:32,180
Banzai!
1053
01:12:41,482 --> 01:12:42,982
Yeah.
1054
01:12:45,944 --> 01:12:47,904
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1055
01:12:59,541 --> 01:13:01,334
I didn't mean to hit you.
1056
01:13:01,543 --> 01:13:04,128
[ZED GRUNTING]
1057
01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,839
I hate you. I hate you.
1058
01:13:33,700 --> 01:13:35,618
Hey. Pull over.
1059
01:13:40,165 --> 01:13:42,041
ADAMS:
Mahoney, you all right?
1060
01:13:42,251 --> 01:13:44,585
I'm okay. Just keep going.
1061
01:13:50,217 --> 01:13:51,759
MAN 1:
Hey.
1062
01:13:53,262 --> 01:13:55,179
Get out of my way, old man.
1063
01:13:59,101 --> 01:14:02,186
[ROBBER SCREAMING]
1064
01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:06,065
Mahoney's in trouble. Let's go!
1065
01:14:06,275 --> 01:14:08,734
You got it. Oh!
1066
01:14:29,423 --> 01:14:31,382
[SWEETCHUCK SCREAMING]
1067
01:14:48,275 --> 01:14:49,442
[SCREAMING]
1068
01:15:08,879 --> 01:15:10,087
[SCREAMING]
1069
01:15:11,632 --> 01:15:15,092
[ZED LAUGHING]
1070
01:15:17,804 --> 01:15:19,388
MAUSER:
Proctor, you're an idiot.
1071
01:15:19,598 --> 01:15:22,558
You were born an idiot,
you'll always be an idiot.
1072
01:15:34,404 --> 01:15:36,405
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
1073
01:15:39,701 --> 01:15:40,952
[JONES MIMICKING ALARM]
1074
01:15:41,161 --> 01:15:42,245
Dive.
1075
01:16:41,305 --> 01:16:42,930
[MAHONEY SCREAMING]
1076
01:16:47,978 --> 01:16:49,729
Whoa!
1077
01:16:50,397 --> 01:16:51,814
Yahoo!
1078
01:16:55,944 --> 01:16:57,445
MAUSER:
Move it, Proctor.
1079
01:16:57,654 --> 01:17:00,031
I got this side,
you paddle on the other side.
1080
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:01,866
Uh-oh. Oh. Hey, hey, hey!
1081
01:17:02,075 --> 01:17:03,326
Hold it!
1082
01:17:03,535 --> 01:17:05,036
PROCTOR: Hey!
- No, no, no!
1083
01:17:09,583 --> 01:17:11,083
You okay, sir?
1084
01:17:20,844 --> 01:17:22,845
Aah! Look out.
1085
01:17:24,181 --> 01:17:25,181
[SCREAMING]
1086
01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:54,293
[SCREAMING]
1087
01:18:01,635 --> 01:18:03,094
Let's talk. Ha!
1088
01:18:14,773 --> 01:18:18,067
[SCREAMING]
1089
01:18:19,111 --> 01:18:23,406
[SCREAMING]
1090
01:18:23,824 --> 01:18:26,158
[CRASHING]
1091
01:18:29,371 --> 01:18:31,163
MAN 1: You okay?
WOMAN 1: You need help?
1092
01:18:33,083 --> 01:18:35,376
WOMAN 2: Where's the Governor?
MAN 2: Governor!
1093
01:18:35,585 --> 01:18:37,128
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
1094
01:18:38,338 --> 01:18:40,631
Don't move, dirt bag!
1095
01:18:45,804 --> 01:18:48,597
All right! Can we go again?
1096
01:18:48,807 --> 01:18:52,935
[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
1097
01:19:00,902 --> 01:19:02,236
[SCREAMING]
1098
01:19:08,076 --> 01:19:11,162
MAHONEY: I'd like to thank the members
of my racing team for their assistance.
1099
01:19:11,371 --> 01:19:12,371
I couldn't have won...
1100
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:17,084
LASSARD: -without the help
of my many wonderful instructors...
1101
01:19:17,294 --> 01:19:19,837
and my many fine cadets.
1102
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:23,340
Thanks to all...
1103
01:19:23,550 --> 01:19:27,511
this academy
will carry on its fine tradition.
1104
01:19:27,721 --> 01:19:32,558
[CHEERING]
1105
01:19:37,272 --> 01:19:39,023
Ha!
82554
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