All language subtitles for iltova

(MAN) YOU CAN SEE THAT
F OF X EQUALS E TO Y...

TIMES E TO THE X,
WHICH IS WHAT WE WERE
TRYING TO PROVE.

NOTICE THE ELEGANCE
OF THE PROOF. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT ACTUALLY REMINDS ME

"IF MEASURE AND SYMMETRY ARE
ABSENT FROM ANY COMPOSITION
IN ANY DEGREE, THE, UH, RUIN

"AWAITS BOTH THE INGREDIENTS
AND THE COMPOSITION.

MEASURE AND SYMMETRY
ARE BEAUTY AND VIRTUE
THE WORLD OVER."

(YAWNING)

(YAWNING)
(WOMAN)
HE'S CUTE.

YOU THINK HE'S STRAIGHT?
OH, YEAH. HE'S
TOO BORING TO BE GAY.

HMM? OH.

IS IT... IS IT 5:15?
IS MY WATCH CORRECT?

YES, IT IS.

UH... (CLEARS THROAT)

THA... THANK YOU. UH...

I'M RELEASING YOU
A HALF-HOUR EARLY TODAY.

I HAVE, UH...
UH, AN APPOINTMENT.

I'M GIVING A LECTURE
ON MY NEW BOOK TONIGHT.

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED,
PLEASE SEE ME.

UH...OKAY.

UM...TH-THANK YOU.

WHOO!

MMM!

(WOMAN) ROSE, GET THAT
MASK OFF YOUR FACE.

IT'S BEEN 15 MINUTES.
IT'LL CLOG YOUR PORES.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!

OHH, YOU STUPID BUM!

$3 MILLION A YEAR
FOR WHAT?! FOR WHAT?!

COME ON, COME ON!
JUST ONE MORE OUT!

(RING)

BARRY NEUFELD.

(HUSKILY)
HI, BARRY. IT'S ROSE.

HI. WHAT--
OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.
(COUGHING)

I THINK IT'S AN ALLERGIC
REACTION TO SOMETHING I ATE.
(BAT CRACKING)

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
(COUGHING) MY THROAT'S
STARTING TO CLOSE UP.

OOOHH!
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE DYING.

IT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS
MONTH. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT
ALLERGIC TO ME?

BARRY, PLEASE, DON'T THINK
THAT. THAT'S A TERRIBLE
THING TO THINK.

I'M GONNA BE BLACKLISTED AT
EVERY RESTAURANT IN MANHATTAN
FOR NOT KEEPING RESERVATIONS.

WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME
NEXT WEEK, OK?
I-IF YOU STILL WANT TO.

SURE.

FEEL BETTER.

THANK YOU.
(COUGHING)

BYE.
BYE.

(SIGHS)

THINK I SHOULD START
WITH A JOKE?
(LAUGHING)

OH, YOU'RE SERIOUS.
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME.

FOR WHAT?
FOR YOU TO DEVELOP A SENSE
OF HUMOR. (LAUGHS)

(WOMAN) AND NOW,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

THE AUTHOR OF
ABSOLUTE TRUTH--

COLUMBIA'S VERY OWN
PROFESSOR GREGORY LARKIN.

YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE.
(LAUGHS)

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I'M HONORED BY THIS
WARM AND GRACIOUS WELCOME.

AS I STAND HERE
AT THE END OF A JOURNEY,

I'M REMINDED OF SOMETHING
DESCARTES ONCE SAID.

"FOR WHETHER I AM AWAKE
OR ASLEEP, TWO AND THREE
WILL ALWAYS MAKE FIVE,

"A SQUARE CAN NEVER HAVE MORE
THAN FOUR SIDES...

"AND IT DOES NOT SEEM POSSIBLE
THAT TRUTHS SO CLEAR
AND APPARENT...

CAN BE SUSPECTED
OF ANY UNCERTAINTY."

UH, THIS BOOK...

HAS TAKEN ME OVER 14 YEARS
TO WRITE.

IT IS NOT WITHOUT
A LITTLE SADNESS THAT
I SAY GOOD-BYE TO IT

CONSUMING MY DAYS
AND NIGHTS.

UH, AND NIGHTS. UM...

AND SO, UH...

(STAMMERING)
AS I STAND HERE...UH...

UH, AND SO,
IN, IN COMING UP--
SUMMING UP--

(HUFFING, MUFFLED SPEECH)
EXCUSE ME, I'M FEELING
A LITTLE DIZZY, UH...

UH...UH...

I THOUGHT IT WOULD
FEEL DIFFERENTLY, I--

I THOUGHT I WOULD KNOW MORE.
I DON'T.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING...

REALLY.
THANK YOU ALL FOR...

COMING.
(CHUCKLES)

(FEEDBACK CHIRP)
WHAT?

(MURMURING,
SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

(GREGORY)
THANK--THANK YOU.

OH, GOD,
WHAT DID I SAY?

IT WAS FINE, ALTHOUGH
I'D THINK TWICE

ABOUT DOING VOLUNTEER WORK
FOR A SUICIDE HOT LINE.

YOU WERE DOING OKAY
UNTIL CANDICE WALKED IN.

DON'T START, HENRY.
I JUST FORGOT TO EAT.

YOU SHOULD NEVER DRINK
ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL.

SHE LEFT YOU,
WHAT, A YEAR AGO?

IT WAS THE STUPID WINE.

AND THANK GOD CANDY LEFT
WHEN SHE DID,

OR I NEVER WOULD'VE
FINISHED THE BOOK.

AND THANK GOD REBECCA LEFT
AND CATHERINE AND ALLISON.

YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY I KNOW
WHO CAN'T HAVE SEX AND
CHEW GUM AT THE SAME TIME.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING
HAVE TO BE ABOUT SEX?

BECAUSE EVERYTHING
IS ABOUT SEX.

WHEN I'M WITH SOMEONE,
WHEN I'M INVOLVED WITH THEM,

I TEND TO GET
A LITTLE SIDETRACKED.

GREG, YOU CALL 14 YEARS
TO WRITE A BOOK
"A LITTLE SIDETRACKED"?

I BET SHE'S STILL OUT THERE.

IF I KNOW CANDICE,
SHE'S OUT THERE.
NO, NO, NO! HENRY--

YEAH.
YEAH, SHE'S OUT THERE.

COME ON, FACE HER
LIKE A GROWNUP.

DO ME A FAVOR, HENRY.
DON'T LET ME GO HOME WITH HER.

UH, SAY WE'RE GOING OUT
TO DINNER.

WE ARE. IT MAY SEEM ODD
NOT TO INVITE HER.
PLEASE, HENRY.

JUST DON'T LET ME
GO HOME WITH HER.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

PROFESSOR--
I'M SORRY.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

OH, IT WAS
THAT STUPID WINE.

HELLO, CANDICE.

HI.

YOU LOOK GREAT.
THANKS.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME
JUST SHOWING UP LIKE THIS
ON YOUR BIG NIGHT. NO.

IT'S JUST, UM...
I'VE BEEN THINKING SO
MUCH ABOUT YOU LATELY.

REALLY?

MM-HMM.

DO YOU WANT
TO GO GET A DRINK?

NO, NO,
I'D BETTER NOT.

WANNA GRAB A BITE
TO EAT?

(VOICE CRACKING)
NO, I'M NOT HUNGRY.

WANT ME
TO TAKE YOU HOME?

OKAY.

GOOD TO SEE YOU,
HENRY.

BUT, GREG, YOU SAID--

BYE.

(GREGORY)
CANDY, DON'T LEAVE.
(ZIPPING SOUND)

OH, THAT WAS GREAT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA STAY.

WELL, WE'RE DONE. IS MY
SHOE THERE? CANDY, I STILL
HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU.

GREG, I DUMPED YOU FOR
ANOTHER MAN. HOW COULD YOU
STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME?

WELL--
BESIDES, I'M STILL
SORT OF WITH PAUL.

I THOUGHT THAT WAS OVER.

YEAH, WELL, HE WAS
CHEATING ON ME.

I GUESS I JUST WANTED
TO FEEL BETTER
ABOUT MYSELF

BEFORE I SEE HIM
TOMORROW NIGHT.

TH-THAT'S WHY
YOU'RE HERE?

WELL, YEAH.

LOOK, YOU WERE ALWAYS
SUCH A NICE GUY,
BUT LET'S FACE IT.

WE HAD NOTHING IN COMMON
EXCEPT SEX AND THE FACT
THAT YOU IDOLIZE ME.

UH--
I-I REALLY DO CARE FOR YOU.

REALLY. I JUST CAN'T
WIND UP WITH YOU.

WELL, CAN I--CAN I
CALL YOU SOMETIME?

(WHISPERS)
What for?

(SIGHS)

(GROANING)

NO, I CANCELED.

(SPORTSCASTER)
THREE BALLS, ONE STRIKE.

WHAT?

(GROANING)

(WOMAN) I HAD NO CHOICE.
(MAN)
I HAD NO CHOICE.

(GREGORY GROANS)
WHAT IS THIS?
TAKE ME!

LOOK AT THIS.
YEAH, I WISH I COULD ESCAPE.
ESCAPE.

(MAN) THE MATING RITUAL
IS BOTH SPEEDY AND VIOLENT

FOR THESE
PASSIONATE INSECTS,

WITH THE LESSER MALE OFTEN
COVERING THE LARGER FEMALE.

IF UNSUCCESSFUL
IN MOUNTING,

MALE MANTIS ARE OFTEN
EATEN BY THE FEMALES
DURING COPULATION.

(WOMAN)
WE'RE THE GIRLS
OF 1-400-HOT-TALK.

OH, MY GOD!
THERE'S BRIANA, TINA,

MARLA AND ME, FELICIA.

ANYTHING YOU WANNA
TALK ABOUT.

CALL ME. CALL ME.
CALL ME!

(GREGORY)
I DON'T REALLY KNOW
WHERE TO BEGIN.

(FELICIA) ARE YOU LONELY
TONIGHT, DARLING?

YEAH.

MMM, SO AM I.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

UH, NOTHING SPECIAL.
UH, FELICIA, CAN I
ASK YOU A QUESTION?

WANNA KNOW WHAT
I'M WEARING?
JUST A TOWEL! NO--

I WAS DRYING MYSELF OFF AFTER
A HOT SHOWER WHEN YOU CALLED--
FE-FELICIA? FELICIA?

WHY DO WOMEN LEAVE?

WHAT?

WHY DO WOMEN LEAVE?

ESPECIALLY BEAUTIFUL
WOMEN. I CAN'T GO
THROUGH THIS ANYMORE.

LIFE IS VERY COMPLEX.

THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES.

WHY SHOULD THAT BE?

THE MATHEMATICAL WORLD
IS COMPLETELY RATIONAL,
UNCOMPLICATED BY SEX.

YOU THINK TOO MUCH, HON.

FELICIA--
DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW
HOW BIG MY TITS ARE?

I--I--

I JUST WANT TO SHARE
MY LIFE WITH SOMEONE...

SOMEONE I'M NOT
SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO.

WHAT?

HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE
COME TOGETHER FOR WHAT'S

A LASTING AND SUBSTANTIAL
MUTUAL RESPECT,
GENUINE AFFECTION,

IN A WORLD
THAT'S RUN BY AD AGENCIES
SELLING GREAT SEX--

TAKE OUT YOUR OWN AD,
I GUESS.

AN AD?

MM-HMM.

HMM.

YEAH.

(GREGORY)
...AND BE OVER THIRTY-FIVE.

...NOT...IMPORTANT.

(SIGHS)
LOOK AT ME. I'M A GROWN WOMAN
WEARING A PROM DRESS.

YOU ARE NOT.
YOU LOOK ADORABLE.

ADORABLE? I LOOK LIKE
AN OVER-THE-HILL
BARBIE DOLL.

IT DOESN'T FIT RIGHT.
IT'S TOO TIGHT.

TOO MANY SNOW BALLS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU PICK OUT
SOMETHING LOOSER IN MY COLOR?

BECAUSE MAIDS OF HONOR
DON'T WEAR BLACK.

IT WOULD HELP IF YOU
FIXED YOURSELF UP A LITTLE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU WEAR
SOME MAKEUP?

I AM WEARING MAKEUP.

OH. LET'S GO.

(CLAIRE) YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD.
I LIKE IT. THE CURLS WORK.
WHY DIDN'T YOU GET A PERM?

(ROSE) I TRIED. I LOOKED
LIKE SHIRLEY TEMPLE
ON CRACK.

WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?
I'M GONNA KILL HER!

I KNEW SHE WOULD PULL
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.

SHE CAN'T STAND THE FACT
THAT I'M THE ONE GETTING
ALL THE ATTENTION TODAY.

WE SHOULD'VE HAD HER COMMITTED
WHEN SHE TURNED 60.

CLAIRE. YOU CAN'T HAVE
SOMEONE COMMITTED
FOR EXCESSIVE VANITY.

THANK YOU, ROSE.
HOW WONDERFUL TO HAVE
TWO COMPASSIONATE DAUGHTERS.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING
TO WEAR MAKEUP TODAY.

I AM WEARING MAKEUP.
WELL?

OH, MY GOD.
UHH--WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU WEARING?

THIS HAPPENS TO BE
AN IMITATION SCAASI.

YOU'RE THE MOTHER
OF THE BRIDE,
NOT THE OPENING ACT.

FINE. I'LL GO HOME
AND CHANGE.

OH, STOP IT.
WE'RE LATE ALREADY.
THE PRIEST IS SWEATING.

ALL CELIBATES SWEAT,
DEAR. IF THEY DIDN'T,
THEY'D EXPLODE.

I JUST WENT
TO BUY MYSELF
A LITTLE SNACK.

I CAN'T SIT THROUGH THIS
GANTSEH MEGILLEH WITHOUT
EATING SOMETHING

. I'LL PASS OUT.

IT'LL ONLY TAKE
45 MINUTES.

IT'LL FEEL
LIKE TWO HOURS.

NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU'RE
MARRYING OUTSIDE YOUR FAITH
AND ON THE SABBATH.

OH, MOTHER, THE ONLY
THING YOU EVER TAUGHT ME
ABOUT THE SABBATH

IS BERGDORF'S
WOULDN'T BE AS CROWDED.

NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME.
TAKE IT EASY,
CLAIRE.

I WANT YOU TO GET OUT THERE,
AND I WANT YOU TO REMEMBER
TODAY IS MY DAY.

IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE
YOURSELF, I'M GOING TO HAVE
YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE

BLOWN UP
AS A CHRISTMAS CARD.

I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
ENCOURAGED YOU TO SPEAK.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

IS IT POSSIBLE--
NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

(GUESTS CHATTERING)

MAYBE SHE'LL LOOK BACK AND
TURN INTO A PILLAR OF SALT.

(CHUCKLES)

(WOMAN)
SO, HANNAH LOOKS
PRETTY GOOD FOR HER AGE.

(EXHALES)
ALEX LOOKS NERVOUS.

OH, GOD, I HOPE I'M DOING
THE RIGHT THING.

I THINK YOU ARE.

(DISCO MUSIC PLAYS)

(MAN ON P.A.)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE
PARTY IS ABOUT TO GET STARTED.

THE DANCE FLOOR
IS ALL YOURS.

(ALEX)
OKAY, GIRLS, LICK YOUR LIPS.
COME IN CLOSE, COME IN CLOSE.

OH, YEAH! TAKE ME ON!
JACKIE, KISS. MMM!

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YA.
TELL CLAIRE I'M LOOKING
FOR HER.

YOUR HUSBAND'S
A LUCKY GUY.

MMM! (CHUCKLING)

OH! (CHUCKLING)

(TOGETHER)
WAITER! CAN WE GET
MORE DRESSING?

SURE.
WE WERE SEPARATED
AT BIRTH.

TWO MORE DRINKS, WHEN
YOU GET A CHANCE PLEASE.

THAT WOULD BE NICE.

THIS LOOKS DELICIOUS.
I'M SO HAPPY.

(D.J.) AND NOW, SOMETHING A
LITTLE ROMANTIC FOR ALL
THE LOVERS IN THE HOUSE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S MARRIED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE CHOSE CLAIRE OVER YOU.

(CHUCKLING) I CAN!

I TOLD YOU NOT
TO INTRODUCE THEM.

WELL, SHE ALREADY HAD
A HUSBAND.
I THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE.

UH-HUH.

SO, HOW ARE YOU
HANDLING ALL THIS?

I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON.

NO MORE FANTASIES
ABOUT GOOD-LOOKING MEN.

YOU NEVER KNOW.

THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE
SOMEWHERE FOR YOU.
OH, YEAH?

WHO, BARRY NEUFELD?
(LAUGHS)

SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
(LAUGHING)

BESIDES THE FACT HE LOOKS
LIKE GUMPY AND HE IRRITATES
THE SHIT OUT OF YOU.

GUMBY!
GUMBY, NOT GUMPY.
GUMBY. OH.

AH, WHY SHOULD THAT MATTER?
I'M NO GREAT PRIZE EITHER.

DON'T SAY THAT.
YOU ARE A TERRIFIC PERSON
AND A GREAT TEACHER.

THE TRUTH IS, I THINK
I'VE JUST REACHED THE POINT.

WHAT POINT?

THE POINT THAT YOU KNOW
YOU'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.

MARRIED?
WHAT'S MARRIAGE, ANYWAY?
YEAH.

OH, COME ON.
A RING, A CONTRACT,
FIGHTING AND COMPROMISING.

NO, IT CAN BE
MORE THAN THAT.

I TELL YOU WHAT I ENVY
ABOUT PEOPLE IN LOVE.

YEAH?

I'D LOVE IT
IF SOMEONE KNEW ME,

REALLY KNEW ME...

WHAT I LIKE,
WHAT I'M AFRAID OF...

WHAT KIND OF
TOOTHPASTE I USE.

I THINK THAT...
WOULD REALLY BE WONDERFUL.

HEY, HEY, HEY,
SISTER-IN-LAW...

MM-MUH. YOU HAVIN'
A GOOD TIME HERE?

YEAH.

(D.J.) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IN HONOR
OF THE BRIDE'S FAMILY--
(CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)

HAVE YOU SEEN CLAIRE?
I CAN'T FIND HER
ANYWHERE.

I'LL GO FIND HER FOR YOU.

THANK YOU. YOU LOOK
BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.

RIGHT.

I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT.
YOU REALLY LOOK--

I HEARD YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU HAVE
SOME COFFEE?

I'LL GO FIND CLAIRE.

MMM.

CLAIRE,
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
ALEX IS LOOKING FOR YOU.

OH, BROTHER.
IT'S STARTING ALREADY?

TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER.

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?
I MAY NEVER FORGIVE YOU.

I MAY NEVER FORGIVE YOU.

HMM.

HMM.

HMM!

(PHONE RINGING)

(CLAIRE MOANING PLEASURABLY)
MMM, YES. OHH, YES.

OHH. MMM.
(COARSELY)
YES?

I-I'M PROFESSOR
GREGORY LARKIN.

I'M CALLING ABOUT THE,
UH, RESPONSE TO MY AD.

IS THIS PROFESSOR MORGAN?

NO, THIS IS HER SISTER.
ROSE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW
I ANSWERED THE AD.

OH, WELL, THEN MAYBE
WE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING.

OH, NO, PLEASE.
IT'S JUST THAT ROSE WOULD
NEVER ANSWER AN AD HERSELF.

SOME OF THESE GUYS
ARE SUCH CREEPS AND LOSERS.
YEAH.

UM, BUT WHEN IT SAID
YOU TAUGHT AT COLUMBIA...

SOMETHING JUST
CLICKED INSIDE.

NOW, YOU HAVE SEEN
HER PICTURE, RIGHT?

YES.

AND?

AND WHAT?

NOTHING. GREAT.

(ROSE) SO, THIS IS THE SCENE
AT MY SISTER'S WEDDING, RIGHT?

THERE SHE IS,
GETTING DRUNK, REGRETTING
SHE EVER GOT MARRIED--

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
FOR THE THIRD TIME,
MIND YOU.

UM, MY MOTHER IS SO JEALOUS
SHE IS SPROUTING SNAKES
FROM HER HAIR.

AND I'M THINKING,
THIS IS PERFECT.

WE'VE GOT THREE FEMININE

THE DIVINE WHORE--
EXCUSE ME--
MEDUSA AND ME.

WHO AM I?
WHAT ARCHETYPE? TREVOR?

THE VIRGIN MARY?

THANKS A LOT, TREVOR.

NO, THE FAITHFUL HANDMAIDEN.
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID,

NEVER THE BRIDE.
(STUDENTS IN UNISON)
NEVER THE BRIDE.

IT DOES PROVE, HOWEVER,

THAT MYTHS AND ARCHETYPES
ARE ALIVE AND WELL
AND LIVING IN MY APARTMENT.

(LAUGHTER)

AS I STOOD
AT THE ALTAR BESIDE MY SISTER
AND HER HUSBAND-TO-BE,

IT STRUCK ME
THAT THIS RITUAL...

CALLED A WEDDING
CEREMONY...

IS REALLY JUST THE FINAL SCENE
OF A FAIRY TALE.

THEY NEVER TELL YOU
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER.

THEY NEVER
TELL YOU THAT CINDERELLA
DROVE THE PRINCE CRAZY

WITH HER OBSESSIVE NEED
TO CLEAN THE CASTLE.

OR SHE MISSED
HER DAY JOB, RIGHT?

NO, THEY DON'T TELL US
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER
BECAUSE THERE IS NO AFTER.

THE BE-ALL AND THE END-ALL
OF ROMANTIC LOVE WAS--
MIKE?

UH, SEX?
MIKE, MIKE!
SEX ON THE BRAIN, MIKE!

RIGHT, YES.

(WOMAN) MARRIAGE.

MARRIAGE, THAT'S RIGHT.
BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS
LIKE THAT.

AROUND THE 12th CENTURY,
THERE WAS A NOTION
KNOWN AS COURTLY LOVE,

WHERE LOVE HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH MARRIAGE
AND NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX.

IN MOST CASES IT WAS DEFINED
AS A PASSIONATE RELATIONSHIP

BETWEEN A KNIGHT
AND A LADY OF THE COURT
WHO WAS ALREADY MARRIED.

AND SO, THEY COULD NEVER
CONSUMMATE THEIR LOVE.

IN THIS WAY THEY WOULD HAVE
TO RISE ABOVE YOUR ORDINARY,

UH, YOU KNOW, "GOING TO THE
BATHROOM IN FRONT OF EACH
OTHER" KIND OF LOVE, RIGHT?

AND THEY WOULD GO AFTER
SOMETHING MORE DIVINE.

THEY TOOK SEX
OUT OF THE EQUATION,

AND WHAT WAS LEFT
WAS A UNION OF SOULS.

SEX WAS ALWAYS
THE FATAL LOVE POTION.

LOOK AT THE LITERATURE
OF THE TIME.
LANCELOT AND GUENEVERE.

TRISTAN AND ISOLDE.
ALL CONSUMMATION
COULD LEAD TO

WAS MADNESS,
DESPAIR, OR DEATH.

(WATCH ALARM BEEPING)
CLINICAL EXPERTS,

SCHOLARS AND MY AUNT ESTHER
ARE UNITED IN THE BELIEF
(CLEARS THROAT)

THAT TRUE LOVE
HAS SPIRITUAL DIMENSIONS,

WHILE ROMANTIC LOVE IS NOTHING
BUT A LIE, AN ILLUSION,

A MODERN MYTH,
A SOULLESS MANIPULATION.

SPEAKING OF MANIPULATION,

IT'S LIKE GOING
TO THE MOVIES, AND WE SEE
THE LOVERS ON SCREEN KISS,

AND THE MUSIC SWELLS,
AND WE BUY IT, RIGHT?

SO WHEN MY DATE TAKES ME HOME
AND KISSES ME GOOD NIGHT,

IF I DON'T HEAR THE
PHILHARMONIC IN MY HEAD,
I DUMP HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW, THE QUESTION IS,
WHY DO WE BUY IT?
(DOOR SHUTS)

WE BUY IT BECAUSE WHETHER
IT'S A MYTH OR A MANIPULATION,
LET'S FACE IT,

WE ALL WANT
TO FALL IN LOVE, RIGHT?

WHY? BECAUSE THAT EXPERIENCE
MAKES US FEEL
COMPLETELY ALIVE,

WHERE EVERY SENSE
IS HEIGHTENED,
EVERY EMOTION IS MAGNIFIED.

OUR EVERYDAY REALITY
IS SHATTERED AND WE ARE FLUNG
INTO THE HEAVENS.

IT MAY ONLY LAST A MOMENT,
AN HOUR, AN AFTERNOON,

BUT THAT DOESN'T
DIMINISH ITS VALUE,

BECAUSE WE'RE LEFT WITH
MEMORIES THAT WE TREASURE
FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

I READ AN ARTICLE
A WHILE AGO THAT SAID,

"WHEN WE FALL IN LOVE,
WE HEAR PUCCINI IN OUR HEADS."

I LOVE THAT.

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE
HIS MUSIC FULLY EXPRESSES

OUR LONGING FOR PASSION IN OUR
LIVES AND ROMANTIC LOVE.

AND WHILE WE'RE LISTENING
TO LA BOHEME OR TURANDOT"

OR READING WUTHERING HEIGHTS
OR WATCHING CASABLANCA,

A LITTLE BIT OF THAT LOVE
LIVES IN US, TOO.

WHY DO PEOPLE WANT
TO FALL IN LOVE

WHEN IT CAN HAVE
SUCH A SHORT SHELF-LIFE
AND BE DEVASTATINGLY PAINFUL?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? STACIE?

IT LEADS TO PROPAGATION
OF THE SPECIES?

MM-HMM. RANDY?

PSYCHOLOGICALLY, WE NEED
TO CONNECT WITH SOMEBODY.

COULD BE. JILL?

BECAUSE WE'RE
CULTURALLY PRECONDITIONED?

GOOD ANSWERS, BUT MUCH
TOO INTELLECTUAL FOR ME.
(LAUGHTER)

I THINK IT'S BECAUSE--
AS SOME OF YOU
ALREADY MAY KNOW--

WHILE IT DOES LAST, IT FEELS
FUCKING GREAT, THAT'S WHY.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

RIGHT?

THANKS. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.

(CLICKING SOUNDS)

I'M HALFWAY THROUGH MY MEAL,
AND YOU HAVEN'T
EVEN STARTED YET.

THE PERFECT BITE.

MMM!

MMM!

YOU NEED A THERAPIST.

(SILVERWARE CLINKS)

OH, ROSE, DO WE HAVE TO HAVE
THE TELEVISION ON?

CAN'T WE HAVE
A CIVILIZED CONVERSATION?

I KNOW I'M NOT AS
INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING

AS SOME OF YOUR
UNIVERSITY PEOPLE.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY. I'M SORRY.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY, MOTHER?

WHO GIVES A SHIT?

COME ON,
I SAID I WAS SORRY.

LET'S TALK.

I'VE LIVED TOO LONG.

I SHOULD BE DEAD,
NOT HAVING CONVERSATIONS.

WILL YOU STOP IT,
PLEASE? GIVE ME THAT.

TALK TO ME ALREADY.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED
I'VE HAD MY HAIR DONE
DIFFERENTLY.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I THOUGHT YOU
LOOKED DIFFERENT.

MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
LOOKS GREAT.

WHAT'S DIFFERENT
ABOUT IT?

THE, UM...

THERE'S NOTHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT IT.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER--
SO EASY TO TRIP UP.

(CLOCK CHIMING)

SO, UH...

HOW...HOW IS WORK?

(SIGHS)
SAME AS ALWAYS.

ALTHOUGH,
I HAD ONE CUSTOMER COME IN
LOOKING FOR A MAKEOVER.

SHE NEEDED ONE.

DYED BLOND HAIR,
BLUE EYE SHADOW,
ASH-BROWN FOUNDATION.

HIDEOUS.
HIDEOUS.

ANYWAY, SHE WAS SHOCKED
WHEN SHE FOUND OUT
HOW OLD I WAS.

OH? HOW OLD WERE YOU?

SORRY.

I RAN INTO
MR. JENKINS AGAIN.

OH, YEAH?
HE CORNERED ME
IN THE ELEVATOR.

HE WANTS TO TAKE ME TO SOME
ALZHEIMER'S BENEFIT.
I SAID, "FORGET IT."

(GIGGLES)

I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE STILL ASKS YOU AFTER
ALL THESE YEARS.

WHY DON'T YOU
GO WITH HIM SOMETIME?
OH, PLEASE.

THOSE DAYS ARE OVER.
I RAISED TWO DAUGHTERS.
I BURIED A HUSBAND.

THAT'S MY LIFE.
I HAVE NO INTEREST
IN STARTING ANOTHER ONE.

BESIDES, HE KNOWS
MY SITUATION WITH YOU.

YOU'RE NOT SEEING HIM
BECAUSE OF ME?

HOW WOULD IT LOOK?
THE MOTHER'S DATING, AND
THE DAUGHTER STAYS HOME ALONE?

MOM...

WHO'S LOOKING?

HELLO. HI.

HELLO.

THIS IS, UH...
HELLO, I'M...

I'M GREGORY LARKIN.

PROFESSOR GREGORY LARKIN.

(LINE RINGING)

(RING)

(RING)
ANSWER THE PHONE,
I'M SLEEPING!

(GREGORY)
HELLO.
HELLO.

YES, IS
PROFESSOR LARKIN THERE?
WHO?

UH, I MEAN, IS
PROFESSOR MORGAN THERE?

BARELY. WHO'S THIS?

THIS IS GREGORY LARKIN.

I'M A PROFESSOR AT THE--
IN THE MATH DEPARTMENT
AT COLUMBIA.

I WAS JUST, UH,
CALLING TO SEE, UH--

WHAT?
UH, HOW YOU ARE TONIGHT?

MMM. I'M FINE.
HOW YOU ARE?

(SNORTS, LAUGHS)

FINE.
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)

(LAUGHS) UH--

I HOPE IT WASN'T
PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME...

(TV AUDIO INDISTINCT)
BUT I SAT IN
ON ONE OF YOUR CLASSES.

(REMOTE CONTROL CLICKS)
(LIGHT JAZZ)

I WAS VERY IMPRESSED. I WAS
HOPING WE COULD HAVE DINNER.

HOLD ON. COULD YOU TALK
LOUDER, PLEASE?
(CLICKING)

I SAT IN ON YOUR CLASS
TODAY.

HOLD ON A MINUTE.
DON'T GO AWAY.

I WAS IMPRESSED WITH
YOURTEACHING.

I WAS HOPING WE COULD
HAVE DINNER SATURDAY NIGHT.

(LOUD TV RACKET)

I CAN DO THIS.
I CAN DO THIS!

(TURNS OFF)

HELLO?
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
ALL RIGHT.

HELLO?
OKAY, LET'S START AGAIN.

YOU'RE A MATH TEACHER,
AND YOU WANNA EAT DINNER.

I SAT IN ON
ONE OF YOUR CLASSES.
ROSE, WHO'S ON THE PHONE?

BE QUIET.
I'M SORRY.

NO, NOT YOU.
WHO'S CALLING?

I DON'T KNOW!

GREGORY LARKIN,
MATH DEPARTMENT, COLUMBIA.

(GREGORY) THE THEORY OF
IMPLICIT DIFFERENTIATION IS
OFTEN THOUGHT OF AS COMPLEX,

UH, BUT IN REALITY
IT IS QUITE SIMPLE.

IT'S SIMPLY A MATTER
OF PRETENDING...

THAT Y IS A FUNCTION OF X.

AND SO, UM--

MMM. UH.
HI.

OH, HI.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

I SAW YOU PASS BY.

YEAH, I WAS JUST
PASSING BY, AND, UH--
UH...

I'M SORRY ABOUT CALLING
THE OTHER NIGHT.
I'M SORRY. (LAUGHING)

I HOPE I DIDN'T
DISTURB YOU. UH--
I WAS SO CONFUSED, I--

SO, UH, ARE WE ON
FOR SATURDAY NIGHT?

SURE.
GOOD. I'M LOOKING
FORWARD TO IT.

HMM. MOI AUSSI.
(CHUCKLES)

HMM.

OHH!

WHEW!

SO, THIS ONE MUST BE
VERY GOOD-LOOKING

FOR YOU TO GO
TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.

OH, I HATE LIPSTICK.
I CAN'T STAND IT.

THAT'S NOT A GOOD COLOR
FOR YOU.

DID YOU TRY THE SAMPLES
I BROUGHT HOME?

DOESN'T MATTER.
I'M NOT GOING.

OH, UH, WHAT DO YOU
WANT TO DO FOR DINNER?

I DON'T CARE ABOUT DINNER.
I'M UPSET.

CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT I'M UPSET?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

YOU'RE ALWAYS SO RELIEVED
WHEN YOU CANCEL YOUR DATES.
THIS IS NOT A DATE.

WE'RE JUST AGREEING TO EAT
AT THE SAME TABLE.
THEN WHY DOES IT MATTER...

HOW YOU LOOK UNLESS
YOU THINK SOMETHING MIGHT
HAPPEN WITH THIS ONE?

STOP CALLING HIM "THIS ONE."
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE
PICKING OUT A LOBSTER.

NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
HE JUST LIKES THE WAY I TEACH.

YOU NEED MORE COLOR.

MORE COLOR THAN THIS?

YES. SIT DOWN
AND LET ME DO IT.

ALL RIGHT.
DON'T MAKE ME
LOOK LIKE A CLOWN.

NO. YOU WON'T LOOK LIKE
A CLOWN. YOU HAVE TO BLEND.

WHERE'S THE HAIRPIECE?

HERE. DO YOU WANT ME
TO MAKE YOU SOMETHING
BEFORE I LEAVE?

IT'S NOT SUCH A BAD THING

TO KEEP A MAN WAITING.
YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK

HE'S THE ONLY DATE
YOU'VE HAD IN YEARS.
IT'S NOT A DATE!

GIVE ME THE BOW.
WHERE'S THE BOW?
HERE!

HI, EDDIE.
HEY, YOUR MOTHER
DID YOU UP AGAIN.

LOOKS TERRIFIC.
WANT ME TO GET YOU A CAB?
THANK YOU.

NO, I'M FINE.
ALL RIGHT.

OOH, GOOD! SIR!

HEY! WHAT?
(HONKING)

(TIRES SCREECH)

SORRY!

HELLO!

(TIRES SCREECH)

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?
YES, LADY, GET IN.

NOW WERE YOU GONNA
TAKE ME?
GET IN, LADY.

THANKS.

HERE'S WHERE I'M GOING.

BUT DON'T GO UNTIL
I PUT UP YOUR WINDOW.
OKAY.

OH, NO! NO! MY HAIR!
THEY'RE BROKE, LADY.
THEY'RE BOTH BROKE, LADY.

DON'T COMPLAIN TO ME.
COMPLAIN TO THE CAB COMPANY.
IT'S NOT MY CAB, LADY.

(TIRES SCREECHING)
HOW DO YOU DRIVE
WITH BROKEN WINDOWS?

(PANTING)

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

UHH!
HI!

HI! HI.
(BREATHLESSLY)
I'M SORRY. I APOLOGIZE.

SORRY? APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT?
YOU'RE EXACTLY ON TIME.

I MEANT MY HAIR.

(NERVOUS CHUCKLING)
I MUST LOOK LIKE
I WAS ATTACKED BY WOLVES.

OH, WELL,
THEN I APOLOGIZE, I--
MMM.

I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

UM...AH, YEAH, WELL...

COULD YOU EXCUSE ME WHILE
I JUST GO TO THE LADIES ROOM
FOR JUST A MINUTE?

SURE. SURE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK,
OKAY?

(GREGORY)
UH, YOU ENJOY DANCING?

(ROSE) UM, YEAH.
I USED TO LOVE TO DANCE
WITH MY FATHER.

YOU?
OH, I FIND IT
RATHER EMBARRASSING.

REALLY?
I ENJOY WATCHING.

OH. THANK YOU.
OH, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.

MM-HMM.

WATCHING?
PAIRS.

IT'S INTERESTING HOW COUPLING
APPEARS ALL THROUGHOUT NATURE
AND IN MATHEMATICS.

MMM. OH, YOU WERE TELLING ME
SOMETHING ABOUT PAIRS.

OH, THE TWIN PRIME CONJECTURE.

YES, WELL, IT EXPLORES
PAIRS OF PRIME NUMBERS;

UH, NUMBERS THAT ARE ONLY
DIVISIBLE BY THEMSELVES.

THREE-FIVE,
UH, FIVE-SEVEN.

NOT SEVEN-NINE, BECAUSE--

NINE CAN BE DIVIDED
BY THREE.

TH-THAT'S RIGHT.
HEH! TH-THAT'S RIGHT.

THEN YOU HAVE 11-13,
17-19 AND SO ON.

AND WHAT WAS DISCOVERED WAS
THAT WHAT OFTEN OCCURRED...

WERE PAIRS SEPARATED BY, UH--

ONE NUMBER IN BETWEEN.

EXACTLY! EXACTLY!

UH, DID YOU READ MY BOOK?

NO. (CHUCKLES)
NO, I'M SORRY.

NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS REALLY MARVELOUS.
YEAH.

FIRST DATE WHERE I FEEL LIKE
I'M WINNING ON A GAME SHOW.

OH, I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO LECTURE.

OH, I'M SORRY.
I DIDN'T MEAN
TO CALL IT A DATE.

NO, IT'S JUST SO RARE THAT
I MEET A PERSON THAT I CAN
DISCUSS THESE THINGS WITH.

REALLY? IT JUST
SOUNDS KIND OF ODD--
IT'S, UH--

SOME PEPPER?
NOT FOR ME.
THANK YOU.

WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE,
CAN YOU BRING ME

A LITTLE SIDE DISH
OF EXTRA DRESSING,
PLEASE?

CERTAINLY.

I DON'T PARTICULARLY
LIKE SALAD. I JUST
LIKE THE DRESSING.

AH.

THIS TWIN PRIME CONJECTURE
IS INTERESTING.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU
COUNTED PAST A MILLION?

WOULD THERE STILL
BE PAIRS LIKE THAT?

CAN'T BELIEVE YOU--
YOU THOUGHT OF THAT. UM,

THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT IS YET TO BE PROVEN
IN THE TWIN PRIME CONJECTURE.

REALLY?
SAY, YOU KNOW, UM...

I HAVE, UM, THESE TICKETS
FOR A CONCERT NEXT SATURDAY.

I WAS WONDERING
IF WE COULD DO THIS AGAIN.

SURE.

GREAT. TERRIFIC.

WHAT WAS IT
YOU WANTED TO DISCUSS
ABOUT MY TEACHING?

OH, UM...WELL, UH,

I HAVE A CONFESSION
TO MAKE.

THAT WAS JUST
AN EXCUSE TO MEET YOU.
HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

MIND?

NOT THAT I DIDN'T FIND
YOUR CLASS FASCINATING.

UH, IN FACT,
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS,
THE FIRST OF WHICH IS...

H-H-HOW DO YOU
GET THEM TO STAY?

(LOCK CLICKS)

WELL?

NOTHING.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR HAIR?

DON'T ASK.

YOU DON'T THINK
YOU'LL SEE HIM AGAIN?

NO, WE'RE GOIN' OUT
NEXT WEEK.

SO, HE MUST LIKE YOU.

MMM.

DID HE KISS YOU?

NO.

OH.

IT'S KIND OF SWEET,
ACTUALLY.

MMM.

(CAROL OF THE BELLS PLAYS)

SHH.

HEY. THIS IS CINDY.
HI.

THIS IS
A SPECTRUM ANALYZER.
HMM.

I-I-IT MAKES
GRAPHIC REPRESENTATIONS
OF THE MUSIC.

WATCH.
THAT'S FUN. YEAH.

GREG! HEY!

WHO'S THE GIRL?

ROSE MORGAN.

HELLO, ROSE.

HENRY FINE. HE'S A PROFESSOR
HERE IN ANTHROPOLOGY.

AHH. HI, HENRY.

(ROSE)
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC, ISN'T IT?

BEAUTIFUL.
BEAUTIFUL ATMOSPHERE.

HI,
MISS MORGAN.
HI.

YOU CAN DO BETTER!

SHH!

(YAWNING)
UHH!

HMM!
AH!

(FINALE)

OH, GOSH,
I ENJOYED THAT.

WASN'T THAT TERRIFIC?

OH, YEAH. THANK YOU
SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME.
OH, MY PLEASURE.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU
COME UP TO MY APARTMENT?

I LIVE JUST ACROSS THE STREET.
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
A COPY OF MY BOOK.

OH, I'D LOVE THAT.
GREAT!

A COPY OF YOUR BOOK,
I MEAN.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO IMPLY
I WANT TO COME UP
TO YOUR APARTMENT.

BUT, BUT, ROSE,
I'M INVITING YOU UP.

OH, YEAH, WELL--

IF YOU LIKE THIS KIND
OF MUSIC,
I HAVE SOME WONDERFUL CDs,

BUT THEY'RE, UH...
WELL, THEY'RE ALSO
IN MY APARTMENT. (LAUGHS)

GREG, LOOK, I HAVE TO
BE HONEST WITH YOU.

I, UH...I'M A LITTLE
OUT OF PRACTICE AT THIS.

ROSE, I WANT YOU
TO FEEL COMFORTABLE.
THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO ME.

IT IS?
YES. SO, I WANT TO
TELL YOU UP FRONT, I...

I'M NOT
INTERESTED IN SEX.

YOU'RE NOT?

NO, AND IT HAS
NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
IT DOESN'T?

NO, UH, IT ACTUALLY HAS TO DO
WITH WHAT YOU WERE TALKING

ABOUT IN YOUR CLASS
THE OTHER DAY.

IT DOES?
YES, I, TOO, BELIEVE THAT
IT'S ILLUSIONS ABOUT LOVE...

AND THE EMPHASIS ON SEX
THAT KEEPS PEOPLE TODAY
SEPARATE AND ALONE.

A-A-AS YOU SAID YOURSELF,
ROMANCE IS A MYTH;
A MANIPULATION.

OH, NO, WAIT.
I WAS REFERRING
TO ACADEMIC OPINIONS

THAT ARE PURELY
SUBJECTIVE.

BUT, ROSE,
YOU WERE RIGHT.
I WASN'T NECESSARILY--

RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE
BASED ON ROMANTIC LOVE
ARE WORTHLESS.

THERE'S NO POINT TO THEM.
THEY HAVE NO VALUE.

DID YOU STAY
FOR MY WHOLE CLASS?

NO, NO, I, UH--
(CHUCKLES) I LEFT
WHILE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT

THE MUSIC THAT WE
HEAR WHEN LOVERS
KISS IN THE MOVIES.

AND I AGREE,
IT IS SO MANIPULATIVE
BECAUSE IN REAL LIFE,O

WE DON'T HEAR MUSIC WHEN
WE KISS, AND THE PERSON YOU'RE
WITH ISN'T A MOVIE STAR.

IT'S A MALICIOUS,
UH, UH, A MALICIOUS--
FANTASY?

FANTASY!
FANTASY, RIGHT.
YEAH.

IS IT ALL RIGHT
IF I SIT DOWN?
GO AHEAD.

THIS ADDICTION TO BEAUTY
AND PERFECTION,

UH, UH, THAT IS
CREATED BY ADVERTISING,

IT JUST FEEDS ON PEOPLE'S
PATHETIC DESIRES.

PEOPLE--THEY DON'T HAVE
THEIR OWN OPINIONS ANYMORE.
DO YOU AGREE?

WELL, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
THE MEDIA TELLS US WHAT'S
BEAUTIFUL AND WHAT'S NOT.

UH, TV SHOWS TELL US WHAT
A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED
TO LOOK LIKE AND FEEL LIKE.

AND SEX--
YEAH?

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU
HOW THAT'S RUINED MY LIFE.
GO AHEAD, TELL ME.

WELL...I GO CRAZY.
LITERALLY.
REALLY? YEAH?

WHEN I WANT SOMEONE SEXUALLY,
I GO OUT OF MY MIND.
NO KIDDING.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT--
THAT MOVIE WHERE THE WOMAN,

YOU KNOW, KILLS THE BUNNY?
UH...

FATAL ATTRACTION?
RIGHT. NOW GRANTED,
THAT WAS A FILM,

YEAH, IT WAS A FILM.
I CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT
WOMAN WAS GOING THROUGH.

YOU CAN?
NOT THAT I WOULD EVER
KILL AN INNOCENT ANIMAL,

THAT'S GOOD.
I'M ALL TOO FAMILIAR
WITH THAT FEELING YOU GET

WHEN YOU WANT SOMEONE
SO MUCH IT PHYSICALLY
HURTS NOT TO HAVE THEM.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

IT DRIVES PEOPLE
CRAZY,

AS YOU SAID
IN YOUR CLASS.
I SAID THAT?

AT THE END OF IT,
YOU'RE EITHER MAD,
ALONE, OR...

I SAID DEAD, DEAD.
DEAD!

THE OPERATIVE WORD
WAS "FICTION."

RIGHT, ROSE,
OR DEAD. DEAD.

NOW, I DO BELIEVE
TWO PEOPLE
CAN COME TOGETHER,

EVEN MARRY, FOR REASONS
THAT ARE MORE, UH, CONCRETE,
MORE MEANINGFUL THAN SEX.

A LOVE THAT GROWS
IN TIME OUT OF, UH,

RESPECT, LOVE, TRUST,
COMMON INTEREST.

YOU EVER NOTICE HOW MOST
FRIENDSHIPS LAST LONGER
THAN MOST MARRIAGES?

WELL, THAT'S TRUE, BUT MAR--
IT'S VERY UNUSUAL THINKING
IN THIS DAY AND AGE,

BUT I THINK THE 12th CENTURY
WAS ONTO SOMETHING.

WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME COFFEE? TEA?

YOU GOT ANY SCOTCH?

YEAH. COME ON.

SO, ARE YOU BUSY
DURING THE WEEK?

UM, WELL, I--

I WAS HOPING YOU COULD
HELP ME WITH MY TEACHING.

I'M SURE YOU'RE
MUCH BETTER THAN YOU
GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT.

MAYBE YOU COULD SIT IN ON
ONE OF MY CLASSES, TELL ME
WHAT YOU THINK. OH, SURE.

FOR EXAMPLE, IF X SQUARED
PLUS Y SQUARED EQUALS 16...

HOW DO YOU FIND DY/DX AS AN
IMPLICIT FUNCTION OF X AND Y?

WELL, Y IS A FUNCTION OF X,

SO WE DIFFERENTIATE
BOTH SIDES.

THE RIGHT HAND SIDE
IS MERELY ZERO...
(GRUNTS)

WHAT IS
THE LEFT HAND SIDE?

THE BODY LANGUAGE,
IT'S VERY DETACHED,
IT'S VERY ALIENATING.

I MEAN, YOU SEE
WHAT I'M SAYING?

I--I--I JUST THINK
THAT YOU HAVE TO
RELATE MORE TO THE KIDS,

UH, ENGAGE THEM.

YOU'RE UP THERE WITH
YOUR BACK TO THE ROOM,

HAVING A GREAT TIME
SOLVING YOUR OWN PROBLEMS.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE HAVING
A MATH PARTY AND YOU
ONLY INVITED YOURSELF.

NO MATH PARTY.
NO MATH PARTY.

SO RELAX, LOOSEN UP, UH,
HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT.

RELAX, HAVE FUN.
WHAT WAS THE OTHER THING
YOU SAID?

(CHUCKLES) UH, LOOSEN UP.
PUT THE PEN DOWN.

I'M NOT GONNA
TEST YOU ON THIS STUFF.

COME ON, TEACH ME
SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

OKAY. UM...
MM-HMM.

IF, UM, A BALL IS THROWN
INTO THE AIR

AND ITS HEIGHT, H,
EQUALS 100T...

GREGORY, YOU SEE,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

T SQUARED. HMM?
NO, TURN AROUND.

TALK TO ME.

OKAY.
UH-HUH.

T IS TIME IN SECONDS. AT WHAT
LIMIT IS THE SPEED APPROACHING
WHEN T APPROACHES TWO SECONDS?

YOU LOST ME.
I'M ABSOLUTELY--

WHAT DOES ALL THAT MEAN?
YOU HAVE TO PUT IT
IN SOME CONTEXT.

MAKE UP A STORY,
JAZZ IT UP A LITTLE, MAYBE
FIND SOME HUMOR IN IT.

HUMOR IN CALCULUS?

HMM. WELL,
TRY TELLING A STORY.

A STORY.
RIGHT.

OH, OKAY.

UH, ONCE UPON A TIME...
UH-HUH.

THERE WAS A BALL...

...AND...IT WAS
THROWN INTO THE AIR.

UH...AND ITS HEIGHT, UH...

(SIGHS)

MAYBE I SHOULD
JUST WRITE BOOKS.

WHY? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS
THOSE, EITHER. (LAUGHS)
JUST KIDDING.

UH...(LAUGHS)
JUST-- DON'T GIVE UP,
DON'T GIVE UP.

DO IT AGAIN. TRY IT AGAIN.

TELL YOU ANOTHER STORY?
RIGHT. ANOTHER STORY.

UMM...UH...
HI, PROFESSOR LARKIN?
OH, I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.
NO, NO, NO.

UH, TH-THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
UMM...

DO WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?

NO. ACTUALLY,
I WANTED TO MAKE ONE.

IT'S ABOUT NEXT SEMESTER.

UH...UH...UH...
UH, TOMORROW?

UH, COULD YOU COME BACK
TOMORROW AFTER CLASS?
YEAH.

THANKS.

MY HEAD IS SWIMMING.
IT'S HOT IN HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HEAD
BETWEEN YOUR LEGS?

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

PRETTY GIRL.
VERY PRETTY.

HOW COULD YOU TELL
UNDER ALL THAT MAKEUP?
YOU DON'T USE MAKEUP, DO YOU?

WHAT'S THE POINT?
I'D STILL LOOK LIKE ME,
ONLY IN COLOR.

NO, YOU'RE JUST TOO SMART
FOR ALL THAT.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU'RE
A CONFIDENT, NO-NONSENSE,
NO-FRILLS KIND OF WOMAN.

I SOUND LIKE AN AIRLINE.

I'M SORRY.
I'M PROBABLY SAYING IT WRONG.

IT'S JUST THAT YOU DON'T
NEED ANY OF THAT, ROSE.

(CHUCKLES)

THANKS.

HOW'S YOUR HEAD?

I THINK I'M ALL RIGHT.
I THINK, YOU KNOW,
FOOD WILL HELP YOU.

PIZZA, MAYBE?
YEAH. YEAH,
THAT'D BE GREAT.

(ROSE) WHERE COULD WE GO?
SOMEPLACE INTERESTING.

I WANT TO GO SO BAD.

OH, YOU COULD TAKE ME
TO THAT GREAT DESSERT PLACE.

WHY IS EVERYTHING THAT'S
DELICIOUS FATTENING?

MY MOTHER WOULD KILL ME,
BUT I'D LOVE--WHAT IS THAT?
DANISH? CINNAMON?

LOOK, LOOK. AHH!
WHAT? OOH!

THIS IS THE ONE RIGHT HERE.
UH, UH, MA'AM?
THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

(GREGORY)
TREES. THEY'RE SO FASCINATING.

THEY DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO TOUCH TO
PROPAGATE, YOU KNOW.

(LAUGHING)
GREG, YOU WOULD
FIND THAT FASCINATING.

HOW MANY DO I NEED?
YOU NEED A TWO.

ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX.

SIX? OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
WHY DIDN'T I SEE THAT?

I AM STUPID. ONE, TWO,
THREE, FOUR, FIVE...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I OWE YOU ONE.

SOMETIMES YOU DON'T SEE
WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT
OF YOUR FACE.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...

SIX AND FIVE. GOTCHA.

OH, THE PRETZEL!
(BOTH LAUGHING)

I'M LOOKING AT MINE.

I'M NOT READY TO WRITE,
BUT LET ME RUN THIS BY YOU.

I WANT TO GIVE MY IDEA

ABOUT FALLING IN LOVE
IS A SOCIETAL, MAN-MADE

CULTURAL CREATION
AND EXPAND THAT

TO INCLUDE A BIOLOGICAL
PARTICIPATION AND ITS EFFECT
ON THE INDIVIDUAL.

DO YOU SEE?
YOU NEED A HOBBY.
(LAUGHING)

OH, YOU'RE GONNA
GET IT NOW, KID!
OH, YEAH?

OH! OH!
(LAUGHING)

(WOMAN) GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'VE BEEN DATING
THREE MONTHS

AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED.

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
THE LOGISTICS OF THAT.
HOW DO YOU SAY HELLO?

WELL, WE NOD.
IT WORKS, KIND OF.

ARE YOU TELLING ME
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED?

WELL, I FELL DOWN ONCE,
AND HE PICKED ME UP.
DOES THAT COUNT? HA HA!

WE TALK A LOT.
THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT EVERYTHING.
IT'S GREAT.

I DON'T WORRY ABOUT
WHAT I SAY, WHAT I WEAR,
WHAT I EAT.

IT'S SUCH A RELIEF
EATING IN FRONT OF A MAN

AND NOT WORRYING WHETHER HE'S
GONNA GET FRIGHTENED OR NOT.
I LIKE THAT.

HE'S REALLY FUN
TO BE WITH, TOO.
YEAH?

MAYBE FUN IS TOO CHEERFUL
A WORD. HE'S INTERESTING.
INTERESTING.

HOW MANY MEN
CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT?
NOT MANY.

DO YOU THINK A TIE
IS TOO PERSONAL
A BIRTHDAY GIFT?

NOT UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING
TO USE IT ON SOMETHING ELSE
OTHER THAN HIS NECK.

OH! (CHUCKLES)
HEE-HEE!

DOES HE LOOK GOOD IN VESTS?
HE'D LOOK GOOD
IN A GARBAGE BAG.

WHY DO YOU WANT HIM
TO MEET YOUR MOTHER?
I DON'T. IT WAS MY BIG MOUTH.

I KEPT TELLING HIM WHAT
A GREAT COOK I WAS.

NEXT THING I KNOW,
I'M OFFERING A
BIRTHDAY DINNER.

I'VE GOT TO FIND HIM SOMETHING
NICE, 'CAUSE AFTER HE MEETS
HER I'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

(CLAIRE) HI, GIRLS. ROSE!

HI! HI, CLAIRE.
HI, CLAIRE.

I'M STARVING.
CAN WE EAT?

YEAH, YEAH. SURE.
HONEY, I HATE TO
TURN DOWN A MEAL,

BUT I GOT A DATE
WITH A POSTGRAD.

CLAIRE, HELP HER
FIND A GIFT FOR
DR. STRANGELOVE.

WHO?
NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD
GET YOU SOME BLUSH.

NO!
I'M HUNGRY, CLAIRE.

FRUIT!
FRUIT?

YES, FRUIT.
WHY ARE YOU SO GRUMPY TODAY?
HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?

OH, PLEASE. I SWEAR,
IF HE WASN'T GORGEOUS,
RICH, AND STRAIGHT,

I WOULDN'T HAVE
EVEN BOTHERED.
WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING. I'M JUST SICK TO
DEATH OF THE MAN I'M BOUND TO
FOR ETERNITY, THAT'S ALL.

WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT?
WHY AM I SAYING THAT?
TWO SOUPS, PLEASE.

BECAUSE NO MATTER WHERE
I GO, NO MATTER WHAT
I DO, THERE HE IS.

IN THE KITCHEN,
IN THE BATHROOM,
ON THE PHONE, ON MY FINGER.

I WAS ASLEEP THE OTHER NIGHT
AND I WAKE UP.
MM-HMM.

HE'S STARING AT ME.
STARING AT YOU?

YEAH.
I THINK
THAT'S SWEET.

SWEET? I THINK
IT'S KIND OF STRANGE. UH,
HEY, WE'RE DONE. LET'S GO.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW WEIRD THAT
MAKES ME FEEL?

I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE
OF MY LESBIAN ORGY DREAMS,

AND HE'S STARING AT ME LIKE
I'M SUPPOSED TO INCLUDE HIM.

I CAN'T EVEN FANTASIZE
IN PRIVATE.

(CASHIER)
HERE'S YOUR CHANGE, HON.

THANK YOU.

(CHUCKLES)
ONE SOUP.

(SIGHS)
SO...

MOM SAID YOU'VE BEEN SEEING
SOMEBODY PRETTY STEADY.

SHE DID? HMM.
IS HE CUTE?

MMM...

OH, SHIT.

WHAT?
HI, GIRLS.

OH, HI, ALEX.
ROSE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I, UH, I THOUGHT
I'D MEET YOU FOR COFFEE.

IS THAT A TERRIBLE THING
TO DO?

MMM. EXCUSE ME.

I'M GOING TO
THE LADIES' ROOM...ALONE.

HMM.

WOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE
THIS WEATHER?

IT'S ALMOST APRIL,
AND IT'S STILL COLD.

I'M GLAD I HAVE YOU
ALONE, ACTUALLY.

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
MM-HMM.

IT'S GONNA SOUND STRANGE,
BUT, UM...

IS CLAIRE HAPPY?

I MEAN, DO YOU THINK
SHE'S HAPPY?

UM, YES,
I-I THINK SHE IS. WHY?

I'M BEING SILLY.
FIRST-TIME HUSBAND,
I GUESS.

(SIGHS) IF SHE DOESN'T WAKE UP
EVERY MORNING TELLING ME HOW
ECSTATIC SHE IS,

I...I WORRY.

HMM.

DID YOU EVER THINK THAT WHEN
YOU AND I FIRST MET, I'D END
UP MARRYING YOUR SISTER?

AND I HAVE YOU
TO THANK FOR IT.

YOU MADE THIS POSSIBLE.
(SIGHS)

KNOWING YOU
HAS CHANGED MY LIFE, ROSE.

DON'T DO--
DON'T DO THAT.

WHAT? WHAT AM I DOING?

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW,
DO YOU?

OH, ROSE.

JUST TELL CLAIRE
THAT I HAD TO RUN, OKAY?

ROSE, ROSE, I'M SORRY.

WOW, I REALLY THOUGHT
I WAS OVER HIM.
I HATE THIS.

(SNIFFS) IT'S SO STUPID.
I MUST SOUND SO PATHETIC.

NO, NO. NOT AT ALL.

HE ASKED IF CLAIRE
WAS HAPPY, AND I LIED.

ISN'T THAT AWFUL?

NOTHING CRIMINAL.
(CHUCKLES)

THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME
ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

YOU SOUNDED SO UPSET
OVER THE PHONE. ARE YOU
FEELING ANY BETTER NOW?

YEAH. YEAH, A LITTLE.

YOU KNOW, ROSE,
IT TAKES TIME.

YEAH, I KNOW.

GREG, I WANT YOU
TO KNOW THAT I...

I REALLY VALUE
OUR FRIENDSHIP.

IT MEANS A LOT TO ME.

I FEEL THE SAME WAY,
WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT--

TONIGHT!
I BETTER GO HOME, BECAUSE
I HAVE TO GET DINNER READY.

I'LL SEE YOU AT 8:00, OKAY?

UH, SHALL I BRING ANYTHING?
SOMETHING FOR YOUR MOTHER?

UH, YEAH.

A WOODEN STAKE
AND A CRUCIFIX.
(CHUCKLES) BYE.

ROSE LOVES
TO FOLD NAPKINS.

ONE OF HER
IDIOSYNCRASIES.

OH.

YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE ME.

I CAME HOME LATE FROM WORK
AND JUST THREW THIS ON.
GOD KNOWS HOW I LOOK.

(SIGHS)
OH.

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.
(GASPS)

MY GOD, ROSE, IT'S ART.
MOM, COULD YOU
MOVE THE FLOWERS, PLEASE.

OH, NO,
IT'S NOT ART.

NO, NO, AN ARTIST
ISN'T JUST SOMEBODY
WHO PAINTS OR SCULPTS.

IT'S SOMEBODY
WHO SETS THE TABLE
A CERTAIN WAY,

PREPARES THE MEAL
OR TEACHES A CERTAIN WAY.

YOU'RE AN ARTIST.
ISN'T SHE?
THANK YOU.

MMM.

WHY DIDN'T YOU USE
THE LIMOGES, DEAR?
WE HAVE COMPANY.

MAY I SERVE YOU?
I...THOUGHT...
THESE WERE PRETTY.

ROSE!
MY HANDS ARE CLEAN.

WE GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE,
AND ROSE AND I DON'T EAT
VERY MUCH.

REALLY?
MMM.

OH. WHENEVER I'VE BEEN
WITH ROSE I'VE NOTICED SHE'S
HAD A VERY HEALTHY APPETITE.

(GIGGLES)
TO SAY THE LEAST.

I CAN'T STAND WOMEN WHO
EAT TWO BITES AND SAY
THEY'RE FULL. THANK GOD.

OH. UM...

ROSE, DO YOU REALLY NEED
EXTRA SALT, DEAR?

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WATER
A WOMAN RETAINS
WITH TOO MUCH SALT.

CAN I HAVE SOME?
THERE YOU GO.

I'D LOVE POTATOES, TOO.
MM-MMM.
YOU DON'T NEED POTATOES.

(GREGORY)
I'VE NEVER SEEN A TEACHER
TEACH WITH SUCH PASSION.

HAVE YOU EVER SAT IN ON ONE
OF YOUR DAUGHTER'S CLASSES?

MY MOTHER SIT IN
ON ONE OF MY CLASSES?

ROSE!
WHAT?

OH, THAT'S--
TH-THAT'S THE BEST PART.

MMM.
(ROSE GIGGLES)

MMM! MMM.

ROSE TELLS ME
YOU'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED.

MOM! PL--

YEAH, TH-TH-THAT'S
ALL RIGHT, ROSE.

THAT'S CORRECT,
UH, MRS. MORGAN.

I-I HAVEN'T, UH--

I GUESS IT'S THE OLD SAYING
THAT, UH, I JUST HAVEN'T
FOUND THE RIGHT GIRL.

I HAVE HAD SEVERAL
RELATIONSHIPS THAT HAVEN'T
WORKED OUT,

BUT THAT'S ALL GONNA CHANGE.

OH, REALLY? WHY?

WELL, AS I, UH, AS
I'VE TOLD ROSE, I HAVE
A THEORY ABOUT LOVE...

AND, UH, SEX.

DOES ANYBODY
WANT COFFEE?

OH, I-I'D LOVE SOME.

WHAT THEORY?

UH, SEX.
UH, REGULAR
OR DECAF?

REGULAR.

UHH--
I COULD MAKE
CAPPUCCINOS.

CAPPUCCINOS. WOULD
YOU LIKE CAPPUCCINOS?
HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?

GREG, WHY DON'T YOU COME
TO THE KITCHEN AND HELP ME.

ROSE, GO PUT THE COFFEE ON.

MOTHER, I MADE DINNER.
WHY DON'T YOU
PUT THE COFFEE ON?

I RAISED TWO DAUGHTERS;
I BURIED A HUSBAND;
I'VE MADE MY COFFEE.

(MOUTHS WORDS)

WELL, ALONE AT LAST.

I'VE HEARD
A LOT ABOUT YOU.

AND I'VE HEARD
A LOT ABOUT YOU.

OH?

YOU'VE BEEN SEEING
A LOT OF MY DAUGHTER
THESE LAST FEW MONTHS.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND
MY ASKING, BUT...

I'D LIKE TO KNOW
WHAT YOUR INTENTIONS ARE.

MY INTENTIONS?

HMM. WELL...

WHAT A LOVELY MEAL.
GOSH, YOU'RE A GOOD COOK.

OH, THANK YOU.
I DIDN'T OVERSELL MYSELF.

NO, NO, ON THE CONTRARY.

BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
GO TO ALL THAT TROUBLE.

OF COURSE I HAD TO.

IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY,
AND, YOU KNOW, WHAT ARE
FRIENDS FOR BUT TO...

WELL--
GIVE EACH OTHER PRESENTS
AND STUFF AND, UM...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

ROSE!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

OPEN IT, OPEN IT,
OPEN IT.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
DONE THIS.
I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

MMM.
WHAT ARE THESE, DICE?

THEY ONCE WERE DICE,
BUT NOW THEY ARE
CUFF LINKS WITH...

PRIME NUMBERS!
OHHH!
TWO, THREE, FIVE. NO NINE.

THEY ARE SO BEAUTIFUL.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

HAD 'EM MADE...
ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
OHH.

I HOPE THEY'RE OKAY.
THEY WERE DONE VERY FAST.
THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

YEAH.

YEAH, WELL...

UH, ROSE, UH--
UH-HUH?

I'VE BEEN MEANING
TO ASK YOU SOMETHING, AND
I CAN ONLY SAY THIS ONCE.

WHAT?

UH, S-S-SIT DOWN.

I-I THINK WE HAVE
A LOT IN COMMON, AND--

ALTHOUGH I'M AWARE
CERTAIN VARIABLES ARE
AND FOREVER WILL BE UNKNOWN,

AS IS THE CASE WITH MOST
COMPLEX EQUATIONS WHERE
YOU HAVE TWO COMPLETELY--

GREG, TALK TO ME.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS
RIGHT, AM I? UM...

WHAT?

WELL, THIS, THIS FEELING
YOU HAVE FOR ALEX--

I-I-IT WON'T BE
THE SAME WITH ME.

YOU WON'T HAVE
THAT CONSTANT ACHE
IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH,

BECAUSE,

WELL, WE'RE NOT IN LOVE.

MMM.
I-I THINK WE DO SHARE

A GENUINE AFFECTION
FOR EACH OTHER.

W-WE SHARE A PASSION FOR
KNOWLEDGE RATHER THAN
A PHYSICAL PASSION.

ALTHOUGH IF, UM,
SEX IS, UH, SOMETHING
THAT INTERESTS YOU,

UH, I'M SURE I COULD
PROVIDE THAT ON OCCASION,

UH, GIVEN ENOUGH WARNING.

UH--
(LAUGHS)
WH-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

WE WERE BOTH IN LOVE,
WE WERE BOTH MISERABLE
AND WE'RE BOTH ALONE.

WHICH IS A WASTE, REALLY,
BECAUSE AS PEOPLE,
WE'RE QUITE VALUABLE.

YEAH?

ROSE.

WHEN I LOOK AT YOU...

I-I SEE A--A WOMAN UNLIKE
ANY I'VE EVER KNOWN BEFORE.

YOUR MIND, YOUR HUMOR,
YOUR PASSION FOR IDEAS.

I-I'M VERY FOND OF YOU.

I-I-I FEEL,
IN A STRANGE WAY--

WHEN I'M WITH YOU,
I FEEL AS IF I'M--

WELL, AS IF I'M HOME.

SO, I-I THINK
WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.

HUH? PEOPLE MARRY FOR
SEXUAL PASSION WHICH FADES,
OR BEAUTY WHICH FADES.

WHY ARE MY REASONS
ANY MORE INSANE THAN THOSE?

ARE YOU IN SHOCK,
OR JUST APPALLED?

BLINK
IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.

(CHUCKLES, LAUGHS)
WH-WHAT?
WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

I JUST--I-I'M SORRY.
WHAT CAME--

THIS SOUNDS SILLY,
BUT...

I WAS JUST THINKING...

H-HOW COULD I MARRY
SOMEONE...

THAT I'VE NEVER EVEN...

YOU KNOW.

OH.

KISSED.

YOU KNOW,
BEFORE YOU ANSWER, UH,

THERE IS ONE OTHER THING
I HAVE TO TELL YOU.

I PROMISED YOUR SISTER
I WOULDN'T,

BUT I CAN'T ENTER INTO THIS
WITHOUT YOU KNOWING.

YOU LOVE CLAIRE, TOO?
NO. NO.

YOU'VE JUST
SLEPT WITH HER.
OH, GOD. NO!

YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH HER.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
YOUR SISTER.

OHH!
NO, IT'S ABOUT
HOW I FOUND YOU.

YOU SEE,
I WROTE THIS AD--

AN-AN AD?
YES.

I THINK
THAT'S KINDA GREAT.

OH, YOU DO?
UH-HUH.

OH, WHAT A RELIEF. I THOUGHT
YOU WERE GONNA BE UPSET.

WHY? YOU PICKED ME.

(LAUGHING)
WELL, ACTUALLY, I FOUND YOU
THROUGH THIS AD.

IT WAS THIS CHARMING WOMAN
ON TV.
MM-HMM?

UH, FELICIA,
I BELIEVE HER NAME WAS.

I THINK SHE WAS ALSO
AN EDUCATOR OF SORTS.

HMM.

WELL, WELL, WELL.

AHHH!

(LAUGHS)
(HANNAH) SO?

GREGORY JUST
PROPOSED TO ME.

DO YOU NEED A VALIUM?

I KNOW YOU DON'T
HAVE MUCH RESPECT
FOR MY OPINION,

BUT, UH,
I DON'T TRUST HIM.

I MEAN, WHERE'S
THE ATTRACTION?

YOU MEAN, WHY IS HE
ATTRACTED TO ME?

HE'S NOT, MOTHER.
DOES THAT MAKE YOU
FEEL BETTER?

HE DOESN'T WANT SEX.
HE WANTS TO BE COMPANIONS.

"COMPANIONS"?

(SIGHS)

WHAT SANE PERSON WOULD AGREE
TO THAT KIND OF MARRIAGE?

I NEVER HEARD OF
ANYTHING SO RIDICULOUS.
IT'S NOT NATURAL.

WHAT'S NATURAL,
CLAIRE AND ALEX?

HE WANTS ME. MAYBE NOT
THE SAME WAY YOU AND CLAIRE
WERE WANTED, BUT WANTED.

SURE, HE WANTS YOU--
TO COOK AND CLEAN FOR HIM.

THEN IT WON'T
BE MUCH DIFFERENT
THAN LIVING HERE.

I HAPPEN TO KNOW
HE FOUND YOU THROUGH AN AD.
YOUR SISTER TOLD ME.

I ALREADY KNOW, MOM.
SORRY.

(SIGHS) LOOK,

I KNOW THIS
ISN'T YOUR AVERAGE
PROPOSAL, BUT...

LET'S FACE IT. YOU KNOW,
THEY'RE NOT STANDING
IN LINE FOR ME.

BESIDES, WE--
WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
WE REALLY LIKE EACH OTHER.

THEN SAY "YES."
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

I CAN LIVE ALONE,
I CAN MANAGE.

IF YOU THINK GETTING MARRIED
UNDER THESE CONDITIONS
IS NORMAL, THEN GO AHEAD.

WHY DO YOU DO THAT?

WHY DO YOU MAKE IT
SOUND SO...

PATHETIC?

YOU HAD A LIFE,
A HUSBAND
WHO ADORED YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU
WANT ME TO HAVE JUST
A LITTLE BIT OF THAT?

I'M GETTING OLDER,
TOO, MOM.

WHY CAN'T YOU BE
HAPPY FOR ME?

BUT YOU CAN'T,
CAN YOU?

MM-MMM.

BECAUSE YOU'RE
SCARED TO DEATH
OF BEING ALONE...

AND YOU'RE JEALOUS.

JEALOUS?

JEALOUS BECAUSE
A MAN WANTS ME.

A GOOD-LOOKING MAN
WANTS ME.

HOW RIDICULOUS.

WELL, YOU KNOW
SOMETHING, MOM?

A MAN DOES.

(JUSTICE)
TODAY GREGORY THOMAS LARKIN
AND ROSE RACHEL MORGAN

HAVE PLACED RINGS
ON EACH OTHER'S FINGERS
AND HAVE AGREED

TO SHARE THEIR LIVES
AND HOPES AND RECOGNIZE
EACH OTHER AS EQUALS.

THEY SHALL SEEK
THROUGH KINDNESS
AND UNDERSTANDING

TO ACHIEVE A LIFE TOGETHER
AS THEY HAVE ENVISIONED.

WE ARE GATHERED HERE
TO PARTICIPATE
AND WITNESS

THIS SPECIAL
CEREMONY OF MARRIAGE,

WHICH IS
A MEANS OF ESTABLISHING
AND CONTINUING A HOME.

IN AS MUCH
AS YOU HAVE CONSENTED
TOGETHER

TO LIVE IN WEDLOCK
AND HAVE EXCHANGED VOWS
BEFORE WITNESSES,

BY THE AUTHORITY
VESTED IN ME

AND IN ACCORDANCE
WITH THE LAWS OF
THE STATE OF NEW YORK,

I NOW PRONOUNCE
YOU HUSBAND AND WIFE.

HERE'S YOUR CERTIFICATE,
AND GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU,
YOUR HONOR.

ROSE!

CONGRATULATIONS!
SHE'S A GREAT--

YES, SHE IS.
THANKS.
(DORIS) I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

I'VE HEARD SO MUCH--
LIKEWISE ABOUT YOU.
YOU'RE PRETTY--

WE ALL OUGHT TO--
ABSOLUTELY.
THAT'D BE WONDERFUL.

EXCUSE ME.
GOTTA MAKE A PHONE CALL.
CONGRATULATIONS.

IF I'D KNOWN YOU WERE
THIS GOOD-LOOKING, I'D HAVE
ANSWERED THE AD FOR MYSELF.

(DORIS) CONGRATULATIONS.
SHE'S THE BEST PERSON I KNOW.
(ROSE) WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IF I WERE A MAN,
I'D BE ALL OVER HER.

OH, GOOD LUCK...

AND, UH, CONGRATULATIONS.

I'M SURE YOU'LL BOTH BE VERY,
UH, FASCINATING TO WATCH.

(JUSTICE)
MARRIAGE IS A SUPREME
SHARING OF EXPERIENCE--

(GREGORY) ROSE?
YEAH?

ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW MANY
BOOKS YOU ACCUMULATE
OVER THE YEARS?

YEAH, I KNOW
WHAT YOU MEAN.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

AND THE DUST!

GOD, THIS PLACE NEEDS
A GOOD CLEANING.

WE'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.

MADE SOME ROOM
ON THE SHELVES
FOR YOUR BOOKS.

OH. GOOD.
NEED ANY HELP?

NO. EVERYTHING'S
PRETTY MUCH, UH,
PUT IN ITS PLACE.

OH.

SO, WHAT WOULD YOU
LIKE TO DO?

GO TO BED.

TO SLEEP, I MEAN.
IN ORDER TO SLEEP.

YOU GO TO THE BED
FOR SLEEPING.

AH.

(CHUCKLES)

UNLESS YOU'D RATHER
DO SOMETHING ELSE.
I'M SORRY, WHAT?

NO. GO--GO AHEAD.

I WASN'T GOING
TO SAY ANYTHING.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

SO DO YOU WANT TO USE
THE BATHROOM FIRST?

NO. I CAN WAIT.

NO, NO. Y-YOU GO.

A-A-ARE YOU SURE?

NO. YOU GO,
PLEASE. PLEASE.

OKAY.

(CHUCKLES)

OH, GOD.

(DOOR OPENS)

YOUR TURN.

(WATER RUNNING)

(WATER STOPS)

SHIT.

TIRED?

NOT REALLY.

(CHUCKLES)
ME, NEITHER.

THESE ARE NICE.

THANKS.

(SIGHS) YOU WANT
TO WATCH SOME TV?

OH, SURE.
I HAVE SOME TAPES.
UH, OLD MOVIES.

OH. GREAT.

OH, GOOD.

I BROUGHT, UH...
LET'S SEE.

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT,

UH, LAWRENCE OF ARABIA,
NOW, VOYAGER.

HOW ABOUT
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA?
IT'S NICE AND LONG.

HMM.

OKAY.

LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
IT IS.

JUST...STICK IT IN.

RIGHT.
(INSERTING CASSETTE)

(LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
THEME PLAYING)

IS IT OVER?

YEAH. YEAH.
GO TO SLEEP.

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(CHUCKLES)

(MAN)
ARE YOU JUST LOOKING
OR BUYING?

MMM, IT ALL DEPENDS.
I'M NOT SURE YET.

SO, HOW ABOUT YOU?
SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL.

BETTER THAN THAT.

HAVE YOU TWO, UH--

NO, AND IT HASN'T MADE
A BIT OF DIFFERENCE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT,
BUT IF IT WORKS, I GIVE YOU
BOTH A LOT OF CREDIT.

CREDIT? CREDIT FOR WHAT?

I WAS JUST TELLING
HENRY HOW SEX ISN'T
AN ISSUE FOR US.

MMM. THAT'S TRUE.

I MEAN, IT'S MUCH LESS
COMPLICATED THIS WAY.

NOT TO MENTION SANITARY.
(CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

COME HERE. I WANT TO
SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

(LAUGHS)
THAT'S PERFECT.

(BABY COOING)

(WOMAN CHUCKLES)

YES. YES!

IT FEELS SO GOOD
TO BE WRITING AGAIN.

I'M HAVING SO MANY IDEAS
FOR THE NEW BOOK.
YEAH?

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EASILY
IT'S COMING. I HAVE OUTLINES
FOR 3 CHAPTERS ALREADY.

THAT'S GREAT.

WHAT A TERRIFIC IDEA
THIS WAS OF YOURS,

ROSE, TO COME
HERE TO THE PARK.

I-I'VE NEVER
WRITTEN IN THE PARK.
THIS IS WONDERFUL.

I'M GLAD.
I'LL HAVE
ANOTHER ONE OF THESE.

IS THAT BARRY?

I THINK IT IS.

YOU'RE SO PRETTY.

HEY. BARRY?

(GIGGLING)
BARRY? HI!

IT'S ROSE.
HI.
(BARRY) ROSE. YEAH.

HOW ARE YOU?
THIS IS GLORIA.
NICE TO SEE YOU.

HELLO. OH,
THIS IS MY HUSBAND,
GREGORY LARKIN.

HELLO.
HI, GREGORY.
YES, THIS IS GLORIA.

I HEARD YOU GOT MARRIED.
CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU. UH, GOSH,
YOU LOOK GOOD, BARRY.

WELL, BEING ENGAGED
AGREES WITH ME.

ENGAGED? OH!
CONGRATULATIONS.

I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE
WHO DIDN'T CANCEL ON ME.

WILL YOU EXCUSE ME, PLEASE?
NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET
YOU, TOO.

MMM.

(GIGGLING)

I'M REALLY HAPPY
FOR YOU...BOTH.

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, ROSE.

AND TAKE CARE.

YEAH, YOU, TOO.

YEAH.

(SIGHS)

EVERYTHING OKAY?

YEAH.
EVERYTHING'S OKAY.

WHAT?

MMM.
THE JEANS, THE T-SHIRT.

IT'S-IT'S A GREAT LOOK
ON YOU.
HMM, YEAH?

YOU SHOULD WEAR IT
TO CLASS SOMETIME.

MMM.

DO YOU MIND? UM, I'D
LOVE TO GET THE SCORE.

NO, NO. UM, YOU GO AHEAD.
I'M GONNA READ THE PAPER.

(SPORTSCASTER ON TV)

OH, I DIDN'T TELL YOU.

I RECEIVED A FEW INVITATIONS

FROM SOME
EUROPEAN UNIVERSITIES
TO LECTURE ON MY BOOK.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

I TOLD THEM, OF COURSE,
THAT, UH,

I WANTED TO CHECK
WITH YOU FIRST.

OH. SOUNDS GREAT.
FOR HOW LONG?

UH, 3 MONTHS
STARTING IN JUNE,
AFTER THE TERM ENDS.

3 MONTHS?
MM-HMM.

(SIGHS)
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

COME ON. LET'S GET
A RALLY GOING HERE.
COME ON, COME ON.

I NEVER COULD UNDERSTAND
PEOPLE'S FASCINATION
WITH BASEBALL.

I DON'T SEE THE POINT OF
PLAYING A GAME WHERE
YOU WIND UP

AT THE SAME PLACE YOU STARTED.

WELL, ACTUALLY, THIS
SHOULD INTEREST YOU

BECAUSE IT'S ABOUT
STATS AND AVERAGES.

STATS AND AVERAGES.
EXPLAIN THAT TO ME.

SEE THAT? EVERY TIME A
PLAYER COMES UP, THEY FLASH
THAT 3-DIGIT NUMBER.

THAT IS

HOW MANY TIMES HE HITS THE
BALL IN RATIO TO HOW MANY
TIMES HE COMES UP TO BAT.

NOW, WHICH NUMBER IS IT?

AN EQUATION SUCH AS
THE SECOND DERIVATIVE
OF THE FUNCTION F

WITH RESPECT
TO THE VARIABLE X
EQUALS A CONSTANT.

(YAWNS)

UH, ANYBODY SEE
THE GAME YESTERDAY?

THAT MARRAKESH--
WHAT A BUM, HUH?

UH, LET ME TRY
PUTTING THIS ANOTHER WAY.

UM, WHEN MEASURING
TRAJECTORIES,

UH, IF A BATTER HITS A BALL,
HOW CAN WE DETERMINE
HOW FAR THAT BALL WILL GO?

WHAT ARE THE VARIABLES
NEEDED TO HIT A HOME RUN?
(WHISPERING)

PRETENDING FOR A MOMENT THAT
THE BUM COULD HIT A HOME RUN.

(ALL LAUGH)

THE...VELOCITY WITH WHICH
THE BALL LEAVES THE BAT?

THE VELOCITY.
CORRECT.

(WOMAN)
I HAVE A QUESTION.
MM-HMM?

DOES A RISING FASTBALL
REALLY RISE?

UH...I DON'T KNOW.
I'LL HAVE TO ASK MY WIFE.

I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT.

S-SUDDENLY THE ROOM
WAS FILLED WITH THIS,
UH, UH, TANGIBLE ENERGY.

MM-HMM...
WE WERE ACTUALLY
EXCHANGING IDEAS.

WE WERE--WE WERE, UH,
C-CONNECTED SOMEHOW.

OH, THEY PARTICIPATED,
THEY QUESTIONED.
MM-HMM...

THEY STAYED!

ROSE, I CANNOT
THANK YOU ENOUGH.

I WAS A BETTER TEACHER TODAY
THAN I'VE EVER BEEN
BECAUSE OF YOU.

WELL, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH.

OH.
OH.

FRESH PEPPER?

NO, SHE DOESN'T CARE
FOR PEPPER,

BUT I'LL HAVE SOME.
THANKS.

OH, AND COULD YOU BRING HER
A LITTLE SIDE DISH
OF EXTRA DRESSING?

SHE LIKES A LITTLE EXTRA.
THANK YOU.

CERTAINLY. RIGHT AWAY.

SO, I REALLY FEEL THAT
I SHOULD RETURN THE FAVOR.

IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO FOR YOU?

ANYTHING THAT YOU--
YOU WANT FROM ME?

(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
I'LL HAVE TO THINK
ABOUT THAT.

MA'AM?
OKAY.

JUST GLOP IT ON.

THANK YOU.

ENJOY YOUR DINNER.

YOU'RE NOT EATING.

NO. I'M WATCHING
YOUR RITUAL.

MY WHAT?
YOUR RITUAL.

I'VE JUST ABOUT
GOT YOUR SEQUENCE DOWN,
I THINK.

MY SEQUENCE?

YES. YOU ALWAYS START OUT

BY ROTATING THE PLATE
COUNTER-CLOCKWISE,

CUT ON THE DIAGONAL.

YOU REMOVE THE, UH,
UNWANTED ELEMENTS...

(LAUGHS)

AND, UH, AND NOW, I BELIEVE,
COMES MY FAVORITE PART.

(LAUGHING)
WHAT?

THE LOADING OF THE FORK.
I FIND IT JUST FASCINATING

THE PERCENTAGES THAT YOU USE
OF THE DIFFERENT VEGETABLES

TO CREATE THAT ONE
HARMONIOUSLY BALANCED,

PERFECT BITE.

MMM.

YOU HAVE A LITTLE...

N-N-NO, I-I'LL--
OOH, DON'T SMEAR IT.

UH, THAT MIGHT STAIN.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT
A LITTLE SOAP ON THAT.

I'LL, UM...
BE RIGHT BACK.

MMM.

I WANT TO ASK YOU
SOMETHING, JUST
TO REASSURE MYSELF.

(ROSE) COME ON. DON'T STOP.

(GREGORY) WHAT DO YOU
THINK I'M A MACHINE?

IT IS TRUE FOR YOU,
ISN'T IT?

THIS OVERWHELMING FEELING
WE HAVE FOR EACH OTHER--

IT'S AS TRUE FOR YOU
AS IT IS FOR ME,
ISN'T IT?

(ROSE) COME ON,
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
KEEP IT UP.

OKAY. READY?

(MUSIC SWELLS DRAMATICALLY)

LISTEN TO THAT MUSIC.
IT'S SO MANIPULATIVE.

DOESN'T THAT
JUST INFURIATE YOU?

YEAH, I'M LIVID.

(VOLUME LOWERS)

ROSE, I-I CAME BY
YOUR OFFICE TODAY
TO TAKE YOU OUT TO LUNCH,

AND YOU WEREN'T THERE.

WERE YOU AT A STAFF MEETING
OR SOMETHING?

NO, I HAD LUNCH WITH HENRY.

(GRUNTS) OH. UHHH...

ROSE, H-HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE,
BUT YOU HAVE TO
WATCH OUT FOR HIM.

(LAUGHS) BELIEVE ME,
I'M NOT HIS TYPE.

NO, NO, NO,
I-I-I'M SERIOUS.

HE HAS TROUBLE
CONTROLLING HIMSELF.
OHH!

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

DID YOU PULL
SOMETHING?
I THINK SO.

WHERE?
OHH! RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT HERE?

YEAH...OHH.
A LITTLE LOWER.

WHERE?
LOWER.

CLOSER TO THE SPINE.
OH, THERE. YEAH, UH-HUH.

OH, YEAH.

OKAY, JUST LEAN BACK
INTO IT.

(GROANS)
YEAH. YEAH.
THAT'S GOOD.

YOU KNOW,
I-I WAS THINKING, UH,

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO MEET ME IN EUROPE AFTER
YOUR SUMMER CLASSES END.

MMM.
WE NEVER HAD ANY KIND OF
HONEYMOON VACATION THING.

THAT'S RIGHT. I WOULD--
GOSH, I WOULD JUST LOVE
THAT.

WOULD YOU?

MMM.

(GROANS)
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
AM I PRESSING TOO HARD?

NO, NO, NO, IT'S JUST
THAT I'M ALL SWEATY
AND, UH...

I HAVE TO FLOSS.

(WOMAN ON TV)
I REALLY MUST GO HOME.
(GROANS)

OOH.

WHEN YOU GOTTA FLOSS,
YOU GOTTA FLOSS.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

(SNICKERS)

(ROSE)
CLAIRE, I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO ASK FOR IT.

I MEAN, WE'RE SO POLITE
TO EACH OTHER

SOMETIMES I FEEL
LIKE WE'RE ROOMMATES
AT A CHARM SCHOOL.

ROSE, WAIT, HOLD ON A SEC.
I GOTTA PUT YOU
ON THE SPEAKER.

I AM SO FRUSTRATED, CLAIRE,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

RELAX. GIVE HIM A LOOK
THAT LETS HIM KNOW
YOU WANT SEX.

I TRIED THAT ONCE.
HE THOUGHT I HAD
SOMETHING IN MY EYE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT
A LOOK THAT GENERATES
SOME HEAT.

(DOORBELL RINGS) SOMETIMES I
SWEAR HE FEELS SOMETHING, TOO.
I'M JUST NOT SURE.

MEN AREN'T THAT BRIGHT,
ROSE.

IT'S EASY. BE SUBTLE,
MYSTERIOUS, SEDUCTIVE.

SUBTLE, MYSTERIOUS, SEDUCTIVE.
WHY DON'T MEN COME
WITH INSTRUCTIONS?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE.
I GOTTA GO. I GOTTA GO.
BYE. BYE.

(SIGHS)

UM, MORE COFFEE?

OOH, YEAH.
THANKS.

WELL, MY TICKETS
JUST ARRIVED.

MY FIRST LECTURE
IS IN PARIS ON THE 24th.
I LEAVE SATURDAY.

GREAT. DO YOU WANT
AN ENGLISH MUFFIN
OR ANYTHING?

NO. NO, THANKS.

ALL RIGHT.
WELL, I HAVE TO GO.
I HAVE AN EARLY CLASS.

ALL RIGHT.
HAVE A NICE DAY.

YEAH, WELL--YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.

OH, UH, BY THE WAY--

MMM?

WOULD TELLING YOU NOW
THAT I'D LIKE SEX TONIGHT

BE ENOUGH OF A WARNING?

OR SH-SH-SHOULD WE WAIT
TILL YOU COME BACK
FROM EUROPE?

YEAH. RIGHT?
THAT'S BETTER.

NO, NO, NO.
TH-TH-TH-TH-THAT'S, UH--
U-U-UH, THAT'S FINE.

OH.

ALL RIGHT. (SIGHS)

WELL, I...GUESS I'LL...
SEE YOU TONIGHT.
(LAUGHS)

HAVE A NICE DAY.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(WHIMPERS)

(HENRY)
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
MAKING LOVE?

WELL, THAT'S JUST IT.
OUR RELATIONSHIP
WAS NEVER BASED ON THAT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
THINGS WERE GOING
SO WELL!

HAVING SEX NOW
WILL RUIN EVERYTHING.

YOU'RE
A VERY SICK MAN.
YOU KNOW THAT?

MMM.

MMM.

(ANNOUNCER)
JOHNSON'S BEEN AROUND
BOTH LEAGUES,

BUT SEEMS TO HAVE FOUND
A HOME HERE IN THE BRONX.

HE'S LEADING THE AMERICAN
LEAGUE WITH A 2.34 E.R.A.
AND 24 STRIKEOUTS.

AND STRIKE THREE.
THAT MAKES STRIKEOUT
NUMBER 25 FOR JOHNSON

IN THIS YOUNG SEASON.

HAVE THE GAME ON FOR YA.

OH. GREAT.

(ANNOUNCER)
JOHNSON TAKES THE SIGN.

SOME, UH, WINE?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.
BEFORE BED, I'LL WAKE UP
WITH A HEADACHE.

ONE GLASS.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

(VOICE CRACKS)
ONE GLASS.
ONE GLASS.

HE GOT AHOLD OF THAT PITCH,
BUT SEEMED TO GET A LITTLE
TOO FAR OUT FRONT.

SAME, UH, SCORE?

MM-HMM.

MMM.

THIS IS GOOD.
IT'S SWEET.

I-I-I NORMALLY DON'T
LIKE, UH, SWEET,

BUT, U-UH,
THIS IS GOOD.

I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.

DO YOU, UM--

UM, I-I--

WOULD YOU MIND TERRIBLY
IF WE MUTED THE TV?

(ANNOUNCER)
HE TAKES THE SIGN.
OH. OKAY.

(REMOTE BUTTON CLICKS)

(STEREO PLAYING SOFT JAZZ)

W-W-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

UM, NOTHING...

MUCH.

ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.

(SIGHS)

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT
IF I SAT DOWN?

OHH.
IS IT ALL RIGHT?

PLEASE.

HMM.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SIGHS) WHEW.

THAT WINE, IT, UH,
MADE ME WARM.

I CAN FIX THAT.
IT'S OKAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
(CLEARS THROAT)

(SIGHS) GOOD GAME?

I CAN'T HEAR.
OH.

(BOTH LAUGH)

MMM.

YOU KNOW, ROSE, I--

OWW! OHH!
AAAH!
OHH! OOH!

NOPE, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

DID I HURT YOU?

NO, YOU DIDN'T HURT ME.

NO. YOU MISSED,
AND I DIDN'T SPILL A DROP.

(LAUGHING)

I GUESS--

THAT'S FUNNY?

I GUESS
THAT'S KINDA FUNNY.

(CONTINUES GIGGLING)

DO YOU THINK WE COULD...
HMM?

TURN THE TV OFF?

OH. ALL RIGHT.

(SIGHS)

THAT'S BETTER.

(BOTH LAUGHING)
WE HAVE TO RELAX.

I...I AGREE.

SO, UM, UH,

UH, H-HOW--
HOW ARE CLASSES?

THEY'RE GOING WELL.

A-A-AND YOUR BOOK?

HOW'S THAT--
HOW'S THAT--
THE OUTLINE IS ACTUALLY, UH--

IT'S, UH--
WHAT? IS WHAT?

WELL, IT'S--
IT'S COMING ALONG.

(GASPS)
IT'S ALMOST THERE.

I-I-IT'S NOT AT ALL
WHAT I EXPECTED.
IT'S, UH--

IT'S HARDER
THAN I THOUGHT.
IS IT?

BUT I'LL, UH--
YOU'LL WHAT?

I'LL, UH--MMM.
I-I-I'M SURE I'LL, UH--

WHAT ARE YOU SURE OF?
I'M SURE I'LL, UH,
I'LL GET THERE.

I WANT YOU TO GET THERE.

UM...OHH.

YEAH? MMM.

MMM. OHH.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?
(MOANS)

ROSE.

TALK TO ME.

(BOTH MOANING)

MMM.
MMM.

OH, GOD.
OH, ROSE.

OH, YES--
OH, NO.
(ROSE) OH, YES.

OH, GOD.
PLEASE.

OH, ROSE.
YES. OH, GOD, YES.

NO, NO, NO.
YES, YES, YES.

NO, NO!
YES.

UH, I DON'T WANT
TO DO THIS.
WHAT?

I'M SORRY, ROSE.
I'M SORRY.
OHH.

I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
(WHIMPERS, GROANS)

(DOOR CLOSES)
OHH.

(WATER RUNNING)

OHH.

(SIGHS)

(MOANING)

I, UH, HAVE TO SAY,
ROSE,

I'M A LITTLE--
A LITTLE CONFUSED,
(TURNS STEREO OFF)

A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED.

EVERYTHING
WAS GOING SO WELL.

AT LEAST I THOUGHT SO.
DIDN'T YOU?

WELL, IS THAT THE TRUTH,
OR IS THAT SOME KIND
OF FEMALE MANIPULATION?

I WISH YOU WOULD JUST
TELL ME THE TRUTH.

YOU KNEW THE ARRANGEMENT.
YOU KNEW HOW I FELT.

DID YOU THINK
THAT WOULD CHANGE?

WHY?

(SNICKERS)

I-I HAD HOPED THAT,
EVEN THOUGH I INITIALLY
MADE THE OFFER,

BY NOW YOU WOULD HAVE
SEEN THAT THERE IS
NO NEED FOR IT.

I'D HOPED WE HAD
GOTTEN BEYOND IT.

DID YOU HONESTLY THINK
THIS WAS THE NEXT STEP?

Y-YOU--
ROSE, YOU HAVE IT
ALL BACKWARDS.

WHAT WE HAVE
USUALLY COMES AFTER
ALL THIS NONSENSE IS OVER.

MOST PEOPLE NEVER GET
TO WHERE WE ARE IN REGARDS
TO SHARING AND RESPECT.

INSTEAD THEY TRY
TO KEEP THE SEX GOING,

AND WHEN THAT FADES,
THEN THEY'RE ON
TO SOMEONE NEW.

THAT'S WHY OUR RELATIONSHIP
WORKS, BECAUSE IT WAS
NEVER PHYSICAL.

I TOOK EVERY PRECAUTION
TO MAKE SURE THERE WAS
NO PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

ROSE, I--

ROSE, I'M SORRY.

ROSE?

IT--
IT'S JUST THAT I--

I'VE NEVER HAD THIS
WITH A WOMAN BEFORE,

THE WAY I CAN TALK ABOUT
EVERYTHING AND SHARE
EVERYTHING WITH YOU.

UH, ARE--ARE YOU--

A-ARE YOU NOT SATISFIED
WITH ME?

(SOBS)

ROSE?

MAYBE THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT HAD TO COME UP,

SOMETHING THAT WE HAD TO
STRUGGLE THROUGH TOGETHER.

MAYBE--
MAYBE THIS LECTURE TOUR
IS COMING AT A GOOD TIME.

MAYBE WE COULD USE SOME
DISTANCE FROM EACH OTHER
FOR A WHILE.

(CONTINUES SOBBING)
DON'T YOU THINK?

I THOUGHT
WE WERE GOOD FRIENDS.

(SOBBING CONTINUES)
TALK TO ME, ROSE.

ROSE, COME ON,
LET ME IN.

I-I-I'M SORRY, R--

ROSE.

(SOBBING CONTINUES)

(DOOR RATTLING)
COME ON,
OPEN THE DOOR.

(SIGHS)

WILL YOU OPEN
THE DOOR, PLEASE?

COME ON, ROSE.

(DOOR UNLOCKS)

(KEYS JINGLING)

(SIGHS)

(HANNAH)
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

JUST...CAME TO SLEEP
IN MY OWN BED.
IS THAT OKAY?

WHAT HAPPENED?
IS IT GREGORY?

(SIGHS)
I DON'T WANT TO SAY
"I TOLD YOU SO," BUT...

MOM?

WHAT?

WHEN I WAS A BABY...

DID YOU THINK
I WAS PRETTY?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN,
BUT ALL BABIES ARE PRETTY.

NO.

NO, I MEAN ME.

ME.

YOU MUST'VE THOUGHT SOMETHING
ABOUT HOW I LOOKED.

WELL, WHAT'S PRETTY
ANYWAY?

WHAT GOOD DID IT DO
YOUR SISTER?

MMM.

(SIGHS)
DO YOU REMEMBER...

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL...

YOU USED TO TELL ME
TO, UM,

PUSH MY NOSE UP
WITH MY INDEX FINGER...

SO IT WOULDN'T DROOP.

I DID NOT.
ARE YOU DRUNK?

NO. THAT'S
WHAT YOU TOLD ME.

IT'S FUNNY, TOO,
BECAUSE...

I NEVER WOULD'VE THOUGHT
I--I WASN'T PRETTY...

IF IT WEREN'T FOR
THOSE THINGS YOU SAID.

IF YOU'VE COME HOME TO SAY
MORE CRUEL THINGS TO ME,
I'M GOING TO BED.

MOM?

WHAT?

HOW DID IT FEEL?

HOW DID WHAT FEEL?

BEING BEAUTIFUL.

OH, STOP IT.

NO, I MEAN IT.

HOW DID IT FEEL...

HAVING PEOPLE
LOOK AT YOU WITH...

SUCH ADMIRATION...

LOOKING AT YOURSELF
IN THE MIRROR...

WITH...

SUCH APPRECIATION?

HOW DID THAT FEEL?

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

(SIGHS)

YEAH.

I'LL BET.

(JET ENGINE DRONING)

(PHONE RINGS,
RECEIVER PICKS UP)

(HANNAH) HELLO.

HI, HANNAH.
THIS IS, UH, GREGORY.
IS ROSE THERE?

NO. SHE'S GONE OUT.
CAN I TAKE A MESSAGE?

NO, HANNAH, THE POINT IS,
I'VE BEEN GIVING YOU MESSAGES,
AND SHE HASN'T CALLED BACK.

I-I-I WANT TO SAY
GOOD-BYE TO MY WIFE.

I'LL TELL HER.

(P.A.) UNITED AIRLINES
FLIGHT 622 FOR PARIS
(RECEIVER HANGS UP)

NOW BOARDING AT GATE 24.

(SIGHS)

(P.A. ANNOUNCER
SPEAKING FRENCH)

ROSE, I HATED THE WAY
WE--WE LEFT EACH OTHER.

I WANTED TO SAY
GOOD-BYE TO YOU PERSONALLY,
NOT THROUGH YOUR MOTHER.

I-I-I DON'T LIKE
LEAVING THIS WAY,

BUT MY-MY-MY PLANE
IS-IS HERE.

UM, I-I HOPE YOUR MOTHER
DOESN'T ERASE THIS MESSAGE.

UM...I--(SIGHS)

I-I-I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ELSE TO SAY.
(SIGHS)

(CLICK)

ROSE, I HATED THE WAY
WE--WE LEFT EACH OTHER.

I WANTED TO SAY
GOOD-BYE TO YOU PERSONALLY,
NOT THROUGH YOUR MOTHER.

(COUGHS)

(GROANS)

YOU'RE UP EARLY.

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED.

YOU HAVEN'T
BEEN TO BED?

NOPE.

WHY NOT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
(SIGHS)

I HAD A LOT TO THINK ABOUT
AFTER YOU LEFT. HMM.

IT'S AN AWFUL THING TO DO
TO A WOMAN MY AGE--

LEAVE HER ALONE
WITH HER THOUGHTS.

YOU REALLY LOVE HIM,
DON'T YOU?

WELL, YOU DO.
IT'S OBVIOUS.

I KNOW.
(CHUCKLES)

YOU KNOW, THAT, UH,

THAT FEELING THAT...

YOU HAVE FOR GREGORY--

I DON'T THINK
I EVER FELT THAT.

NOT EVEN FOR YOUR FATHER.

IT'S NOT, UH, NOT
AN EASY THING FOR ME TO SAY,

ESPECIALLY TO YOU.

IT'S AN AWFUL THING
TO LOOK BACK ON YOUR LIFE

AND, UH...REALIZE

THAT YOU'VE SETTLED.

THE PROBLEM
WAS THAT I, UH,

I ALWAYS FELT
I HAD MORE TIME.

I WAS, UH,
I MEAN, NOW, I--

INSIDE I-I FEEL...

YOUNG, LIKE A KID,
THAT IT'S JUST A BEGINNING,

THAT I HAVE EVERYTHING
AHEAD OF ME.

BUT I DON'T.

SO...

I GUESS, UH...

I AM JEALOUS.

YOU KNOW,
PARENTS, UM,

THEY DON'T HAVE A PLAN
TO HURT THEIR CHILDREN.

I NEVER WANTED
TO HURT YOU.

MOM, IT'S--

UH, I'M NOT THAT HURT.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT
WHEN YOU WERE A BABY?

WHAT?

THAT YOU LOOKED
JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER...

AND THAT CLAIRE
LOOKED LIKE ME.

WHAT'S THAT?
OH.

MMM.

SHE WAS SO PRETTY,
EVEN THEN.

LOOK AT THOSE EYES,
THOSE LIPS.
(GIGGLES)

THAT'S NOT CLAIRE,
THAT'S YOU.

ME?
MM-HMM.

UH-UH. I NEVER SAW
THIS PICTURE.

I FOUND IT WHEN I WAS
REARRANGING THE CLOSETS.

THIS WAS ME?
MM-HMM.

I--I WAS PRETTY?

MMM.

YOUR FATHER ADORED YOU.

BUT YOU KNOW THAT.

HE NEVER FELT THAT WAY
ABOUT CLAIRE.

ONLY YOU.

I DON'T THINK HE EVER
HELD A BABY TILL YOU CAME...

AND HE NEVER WANTED
TO LET YOU GO.

I'M GLAD
YOU FOUND THIS, MOM.

I KNOW. I AM, TOO.

SHE WAS VERY PRETTY.

YOU WERE VERY PRETTY.

REMEMBER THAT.

YEAH.

* SEEK AND YOU SHALL FIND

* WHAT YOU MAY
ALREADY HAVE *

* SOMETIMES
IT'S YOUR OWN SHADOW *

* STANDIN' IN YOUR PATH

* I HAVE SPENT MY LIFE

* WITH A VISION OF MYSELF

* BUT I MAY HAVE
BEEN SOMEBODY *

* SOMEBODY ELSE
MARCH IT OUT!

* I FEEL A CHANGE
IN THE TIDE *

* AS I HOLD MY HEART
OPEN WIDE *

* NEVER

* KNEW WHAT I COULD BE

* I NEVER FELT THE POWER

* INSIDE OF ME
(PANTING)
OH, GOD.

* NOW I STAND
IN ALL THE WONDER *
(APPLAUSE)

* THE MIRROR COULDN'T SEE
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH
FOR THAT WARM WELCOME.

IT'S TRULY AN HONOR FOR ME
TO BE HERE IN YOUR COUNTRY.
* I HAVE THE POWER

HELLO. ROSE?
* INSIDE OF ME

I-I WOULD LOVE
TO SPEAK WITH YOU.

I NEVER SEEM
TO CATCH YOU AT HOME.

I REALLY THINK WE SHOULD
DISCUSS THIS, ROSE,

AND, BELIEVE ME,
I HAVE NO JUDGMENT
OVER WHAT HAPPENED.

WE SHOULD TALK. I'M LEAVING
FOR VENICE TOMORROW AND WANTED
TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

I DO HAVE A, UH,
A PRESENT FOR YOU.

IT'S A WEEK
AT A BASEBALL CAMP.

ROSE, WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THIS COLOR?
* EVERY TIME I HELD A ROSE

* I ONLY FELT THE THORNS
(CHATTERING, LAUGHING)

* I FEEL LIKE
TODAY'S THE DAY *

* I FINALLY WAS BORN
(GREGORY) HELLO. ROSE?

* NOW THAT I'VE SEEN ME
THROUGH THESE EYES *

ROSE, ARE YOU THERE?

* I CAN DO MORE
THAN FANTASIZE *

(GREGORY) HENRY,
HAVE YOU HEARD FROM HER?

(HENRY) SHE
APPARENTLY CANCELED
HER SUMMER CLASSES.

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

I CALLED HER MOTHER.
SHE SAID ROSE TOOK
A COUPLE OF MONTHS OFF.

ROSE, HERE,
TRY THIS ONE.
IT'S A SIZE 8.

NO. I LIKE THE BLACK ONE,
AND I NEED A SIZE 6.

* NOW I STAND
IN ALL THE WONDER *
(GREGORY) HELLO. ROSE?

* THAT THE MIRROR
COULDN'T SEE *
I-I'M VERY SURPRISED.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW
CHILDISHLY YOU'RE BEHAVING.
THIS SEEMS SO UNLIKE YOU.

NOW, HOW DID SHE FINALLY
PERSUADE YOU TO COME?

OH, IT'S A LONG STORY.

I'VE CHANGED MY PLANS.

I'M COMING HOME RIGHT
AFTER LONDON,

WHICH PUTS ME
IN NEW YORK NEXT MONDAY.

UH, MY NUMBER HERE IS

-257-.

UH, ALL PRIME NUMBERS,
BY THE WAY.
(CHUCKLES)

(STEREO PLAYING
SOFT JAZZ OF
YOU DON'T KNOW ME)

HELLO?

ROSE, YOU HERE?

ROSE?
HI.
DON'T COME IN.

I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

MAY I HAVE
A GLASS, TOO, PLEASE?

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

GOOD TO SEE YOU, GREG.
HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?

UH...UH...

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

O-OH, J-J-JUST
A LITTLE DIZZY.

THE, UM, TRAVELING
DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME.

MMM. YOU NEED
A GLASS OF WATER?

W-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

NOTHING. I JUST
MADE A FEW CHANGES.

WHAT DID YOU DO
TO YOUR HAIR?

I LIGHTENED IT.

AND YOUR FACE?

YOU'RE WEARING MAKEUP.
(GIGGLES)

YEAH, WELL,
WOMEN DO WEAR MAKEUP
FROM TIME TO TIME, GREG.

IT'S NOT LIKE
I HAD SURGERY OR ANYTHING,
ALTHOUGH MY MOTHER OFFERED.

BUT YOU NEVER, UH--
YOU HUNGRY?

Y-YOU NEVER
WORE MAKEUP, UH--

I KNOW, THE--
THE NO-FRILLS GIRL,
RIGHT?

WELL, LIKE I SAID,
I'VE MADE A FEW CHANGES.

AND YOU LOST WEIGHT,
TOO?

WELL, THANK YOU.

NOW, THESE HAVE
NO OIL OR BUTTER.

TRUST ME, IT'S DELICIOUS.
JUST HAVE TO GET USED TO IT.

A-AMONG OTHER THINGS.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

WHAT HAVE I DONE?
I'M WEARING MAKEUP,
I LOST A FEW POUNDS.

I DIDN'T NAME NAMES
BEFORE A SENATE
COMMITTEE.

WELL, FORGIVE ME,
BUT YOU DON'T RETURN MY CALLS,
YOU COMPLETELY CUT ME OFF,

AND THEN I RETURN
TO FIND THIS.

I'M, UH, UH--

UH, I'M--

WHAT?

SPEECHLESS.

I GUESS
YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

DON'T LIKE IT?

I'M IN SHOCK.

I COME HOME TO FIND
A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WOMAN
IN MY APARTMENT.

WHY DID YOU DO IT?

WHY DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN
THIS TO YOU OR ANYBODY?

I'M NOT ANYBODY.
I'M YOUR HUSBAND.

COULD'VE FOOLED ME.

AND I MARRIED A WOMAN
WHO LOOKED A CERTAIN WAY.

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I FEEL SORT OF BETRAYED.

BETRAYED?
OH, PLEASE, GREGORY.
COME ON.

YOU HAD NO RIGHT--

I HAD NO RIGHT?

(STEREO OFF)
WHY DID YOU DO THIS
TO ME?

DO WHAT TO YOU?
I DON'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU.
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
WHAT I LOOK LIKE? YOU NEVER
LOOKED AT ME ANYHOW.

IF PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
DOESN'T MATTER, THEN WHAT'S
WRONG WITH THIS APPEARANCE?

I HAPPEN TO LIKE
THE WAY I LOOK,

AND I'M SORRY IF IT UPSETS
YOUR MATHEMATICAL EQUATION.

HANDSOME, FRIGHTENED MAN
MARRIES UNATTRACTIVE,
DESPERATE WOMAN.

IS THAT HOW THE AD READ?

NO, NO, IT'S SIMPLY THAT
I WAS EXPECTING SOMEONE ELSE.

I-I'M SORRY.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I GUESS I'LL JUST
HAVE TO GET USED TO IT.

NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
GET USED TO ANYTHING.

W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

GREGORY...I DON'T
WANT TO CONTINUE.

I-I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

UM--

I...

I REALLY WANT
TO APOLOGIZE.

I SETTLED
FOR SOMETHING
THAT I DIDN'T WANT.

I THOUGHT I COULD LIVE WITH
THAT. I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE ENOUGH, BUT, UH, I LIED.

I LIED TO MYSELF,
I LIED TO YOU.

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
I THINK YOUR THEORIES
ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS...

ARE TOTAL BULLSHIT.

I BELIEVE
IN LOVE AND LUST
AND SEX AND ROMANCE.

I DON'T WANT EVERYTHING
TO ADD UP TO
SOME PERFECT EQUATION.

I WANT MESS AND CHAOS.

I WANT SOMEONE TO GO CRAZY
OUT OF HIS MIND FOR ME.

I WANT TO FEEL PASSION AND
HEAT AND SWEAT AND MADNESS.

I WANT VALENTINES AND CUPIDS
AND ALL THAT CRAP.
I WANT IT ALL.

AND I WANT TO THANK YOU,
GREG, BECAUSE
YOU FORCED ME TO LOOK

AT THINGS I WAS TOO LAZY
OR TOO SCARED TO LOOK AT.

I MEAN, CAN YOU IMAGINE
ALL THIS TIME I KEPT UP
THIS RIDICULOUS FANTASY

THAT YOU, LIKE ALEX,
WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH ME?
R-ROSE?

I KNOW.
I WAS WRONG.

IT WAS UNFAIR OF ME
TO THINK YOU'D CHANGE.
BUT I THINK--

I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK,
AND JUST LET ME FINISH--
BUT ROSE--ROSE--ROSE--

I FEEL--
YOU FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT
YOUR BELIEFS.

I APPRECIATE THAT.
I'M SORRY THAT
I BROKE OUR AGREEMENT.

IT'S JUST THAT I FELL
IN LOVE WITH YOU.
STUPID, RIGHT?

ROSE, I FEEL THAT--

I DON'T WANT YOU
TO FEEL BAD,

BECAUSE
I'M NOT IN LOVE
WITH YOU ANYMORE.

WHAT?

WHICH, IRONICALLY, MAKES ME
PERFECT FOR THIS MARRIAGE,

EXCEPT NOW I DON'T WANT IT.

SUDDENLY DINNER
DOESN'T SEEM LIKE SUCH
A GOOD IDEA, DOES IT?

I SHOULD--
I SHOULD GO.

W-W-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

YOUR MOTHER'S?

JUST UNTIL I FIND
MY OWN PLACE.

I HOPE AT SOME POINT WE CAN
PICK UP WHERE WE LEFT OFF...

AS FRIENDS.

FRIENDS?
I REALLY DO
THANK YOU, GREG.

YOU'RE THE FIRST MAN
WHO WANTED TO MARRY ME...
FOR ANY REASON.

CAN I CALL YOU TOMORROW?
(DOOR OPENS)

WHAT FOR?

(DOOR CLOSES)

OHH.

OHH.

(PANTING)

(ROSE) YOU ALL HAVE COPIES
OF THE SYLLABUS, RIGHT?
(ALL) YES.

THERE WILL BE
FOUR SHORT PAPERS
ON ASSIGNED TEXTS.

BE PREPARED TO ALSO...
YO.

HMM?
TEACHER'S HOT.

SOME OF MY STUDENTS
FROM LAST TERM,

UH, CAN TELL YOU
HOW IMPORTANT THESE
ORAL DISCUSSIONS ARE...

IN, UH...
WHAT? WHAT?
(SNICKERING)

YES, I HAVE BREASTS.
(LAUGHING)

THEY CANNOT, HOWEVER,
BE THE SUBJECT OF ONE
OF YOUR PAPERS.

NOW...
(GREGORY) HEY, DOUBLE PLAY.

OF COURSE I'LL MISS
SPENDING TIME WITH HER,

BUT I FEEL PROUD
THAT I, UH, I STOOD UP
FOR WHAT I BELIEVE.

I STILL THINK I WAS RIGHT.
COULD'VE WORKED.

OBVIOUSLY NOT WITH HER,

BUT I THINK IT WAS
AN INVALUABLE EXPERIENCE.

YOU'RE IN PRETTY
BAD SHAPE, AREN'T YOU?

WHAT? I JUST TOLD YOU...
MAY I MAKE A SUGGESTION?

PUT ALL YOUR VALUABLE
POSSESSIONS, THINGS
YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT,

IN STORAGE.

WHY?
TRUST ME ON THIS,

YOU DON'T WANT
ANYTHING BREAKABLE
IN YOUR APARTMENT.

HENRY, I JUST TOLD YOU,
I'M FINE!

REALLY! I'M ACTUALLY
USING ALL OF THIS
IN MY NEXT BOOK.

ESPECIALLY GLASS.

(ROSE) I MISS HIM, CLAIRE,

BUT I DON'T THINK
HE'S READY FOR ME.
MMM.

(SIGHS)
STILL CAN'T GET USED TO
SEEING YOU LIKE THIS.

SORT OF UNNERVING.

THANKS.

MAKES YOU JUST LIKE
THE REST OF US,
DOESN'T IT? YOU'LL SEE.

NOW YOU'LL SPEND AN EXTRA HOUR
IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR
EVERY MORNING AND EVERY NIGHT,

AS IF IT'LL MAKE
ANY DIFFERENCE.

NOW YOU'LL BE THE ONE TO WALK
INTO A ROOM AND SCAN IT
FOR WHO LOOKS BETTER THAN YOU

AND WHO DOESN'T.

AND AS THE YEARS GO BY,
THE NUMBERS CHANGE,

TILL ONE DAY YOU WALK INTO
A ROOM AND YOU'RE THE LAST
WOMAN ANY MAN NOTICES.

ROSE?

MY GOD. ROSE!

HI, ALEX.
(ALEX LAUGHS)

I CAN'T BELIEVE
IT'S YOU. MY GOD!

ALEX, GET A FUCKIN' GRIP.

YOU LOOK INCREDIBLE.
THANK YOU.

DOESN'T SHE LOOK INCREDIBLE?
WE ALREADY COVERED THAT.

CAN I HAVE ANOTHER DRINK?

(WOMEN SINGING OPERA)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

I THOUGHT
YOU HATED SALAD.
I DO.

I JUST CAN'T EAT A BIG
CHEESEBURGER IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE DAY ANYMORE.

DOESN'T IT BLOAT YOU?
BLOAT ME?

YEAH.
NO, IT DOESN'T
BLOAT ME.

ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT
IT WENT REALLY WELL

WITH THE SPARE RIBS
I HAD FOR BREAKFAST
THIS MORNING.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

(SIGHS) I'M SORRY.

I JUST THOUGHT WE'D ALWAYS
BE IN THE SAME BOAT, YOU KNOW?

IT MADE IT EASIER,
SOMEHOW.

I KNOW.

TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL GIVE YOU
HALF MY SALAD IF YOU
GIVE ME HALF YOUR BURGER.

(GIGGLES)

WE'LL NEED
SOME MORE DRESSING.

DEFINITELY.

WAITER!
WAITER!

(WOMAN ON TV) WE ALL
WANT TO BE ATTRACTIVE.

BUT REMEMBER,
ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS
PEOPLE NOTICE,

THE ONE THING THAT MAKES

A LASTING IMPRESSION
IS YOUR SMILE.

IF YOU'RE LIKE MOST PEOPLE,

YOUR APPEARANCE
IS IMPORTANT TO YOU.

WE ALL SPEND SO MUCH TIME,
ENERGY, AND MONEY IN AN EFFORT
TO LOOK OUR BEST.

YEAH.

WE ALL WANT TO BE
ATTRACTIVE--
(TV CLICKS OFF)

(SIGHS)

UGH!

(RINGS)

HELLO.
HELLO, ROSE.
IT'S ALEX.

OH, HI, ALEX.

HOW ARE YOU?

OH, I'M OKAY. I'M TRYING
TO GET ON WITH MY LIFE.

OH, GOOD, GOOD.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
CLAIRE'S GONE.

GONE?
YEAH.

GONE WHERE?

I CAME HOME TO SURPRISE HER
DURING LUNCH,

AND I FOUND HER IN BED
WITH HER MASSEUR.

IT'S MY OWN FAULT,
REALLY.

CLAIRE HATES SURPRISES.

ALEX,
I'M REALLY SORRY.

NO, NO.
I KNEW IT WAS COMING.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
SHE WASN'T HAPPY.

I DON'T KNOW HOW
I COULD'VE LOVED HER
ANY MORE THAN I DID.

I DON'T THINK
IT WOULD'VE MATTERED
HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER.

ROSE, DID YOU KNOW THAT
CLAIRE WAS JEALOUS OF YOU?

(CHUCKLES)
WHAT? JEALOUS OF ME?
OH, YES. OH, YES.

SHE USED TO GET
SO MAD AT ME EVERY TIME
I'D TALK ABOUT YOU.

SHE THOUGHT I HAD
A SECRET CRUSH ON YOU.

MAYBE SHE WAS RIGHT.

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE
DINNER WITH ME?

WHAT?

I'M ASKING YOU
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE
DINNER WITH ME.

I, UH...
I HAVE TO THINK
ABOUT IT.

I'LL HAVE TO ASK
CLAIRE.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

"D"! CONGRATULATIONS.
YOU'RE IMPROVING.

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU WERE SAYING
ABOUT TWIN PRIMES.

I'M EXPLAINING IT TO YOU.

BUT I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND!

DON'T YOU KNOW
THAT IT'S POSSIBLE

TO REMOVE AN INFINITE
NUMBER OF ELEMENTS
FROM AN INFINITE SET

AND STILL HAVE
AN INFINITE NUMBER
OF ELEMENTS LEFT OVER?

WE'VE SPENT QUITE A BIT
OF TIME ON THIS ALREADY!

CHRIST! MY WIFE
UNDERSTOOD THIS
ON OUR FIRST DATE!

CLASS DISMISSED.

(STUDENTS MURMURING)

GET OUT OF HERE!
GO! GO!

GO!

(SIGH)

(ROSE)
VERY ENJOYABLE DINNER.
(ALEX) GOOD.

DID YOU COOK IT
YOURSELF?

YES, I DID.

(LAUGHS)
WHAT A LIAR.

YES, I AM.
(CHUCKLES)

MMM.
WHAT?

I WAS THINKING,

I ONLY SMOKE
WHEN I'M WITH YOU.

WONDER WHY.

I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH
FOR THE OTHER DAY...

FOR TONIGHT.

YOU'RE SUCH AN INSPIRATION...

THE WAY YOU'VE CHANGED--

EVOLVED, I GUESS,
IS A BETTER WORD...

INTO THIS...BEAUTIFUL...

SMART...

VERY SEXY...

(MOANS)

I THINK I MUST HAVE
LOVED YOU ALL ALONG.

I JUST...

DIDN'T KNOW IT.

WHAT AN IDIOT.

HANNAH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

GREGORY, I REALLY
CAN'T TALK NOW.

HANNAH, SHE CAN'T
NOT TALK TO ME FOREVER!

I-I'VE GOT THE--
GREGORY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS
I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HER.
(LOUD CLATTERING)

I THINK IT'S A LITTLE LATE
FOR THAT, GREGORY.
WHAT?

I SAID IT'S A LITTLE LATE
FOR THAT, GREGORY.

NO. I DON'T THINK SO!

WHAT ROSE AND I HAVE,
UH, GOES FAR BEYOND

WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE...
WHAT'S ALL THAT NOISE?

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO SAY, GREGORY?

PEOPLE, UH...
GREGORY, WHAT IS GOING ON?

WILL YOU JUST...
GREGORY?

HANNAH! PUT HER
ON THE GODDAMN PHONE
RIGHT NOW!

SHE'S NOT HERE.
WHAT?

LOOK, I MIGHT
AS WELL TELL YOU.
SHE'S WITH ALEX NOW.

ALEX?

SHE'S WITH HIM TONIGHT.
HE AND CLAIRE SPLIT UP.

I'M SURE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH
SHE'S ALWAYS CARED FOR HIM,

SO LIKE I SAID,
I SEE NO POINT IN YOUR
PURSUING THIS ANY FURTHER.

(DIAL TONE)

(HANGS UP RECEIVER)

I'M SO SORRY TO HAVE
KEPT YOU WAITING.

SO, MR. JENKINS, WHICH ONE
DO YOU LIKE BEST?

WELL, TO BE
PERFECTLY HONEST, UH,

I THINK YOU'RE
MORE BEAUTIFUL NOW.

GOOD ANSWER.

(MOANING)

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY
YOU MUST'VE LOVED ME

ALL ALONG BUT JUST
DIDN'T KNOW IT?

I DON'T KNOW.
YEAH, WELL, FIGURE IT OUT,
'CAUSE I'D LIKE AN ANSWER.

YOU WERE DIFFERENT THEN.
YOU WEREN'T THE SAME
AS YOU ARE NOW.

SO HOW COULD YOU
HAVE LOVED ME THEN?
WELL, I-I--

I LOVED YOU BECAUSE OF
WHO YOU WERE, NOT BECAUSE
I WANTED WHO YOU WERE.

SO NOW YOU WANT
WHO I AM BECAUSE I'M NOT
WHO I WAS ANYMORE?

OKAY...

WHAT? ROSE, WHAT?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

I HAVE DREAMT
ABOUT THIS MOMENT FROM
THE FIRST DAY WE MET.

I'VE PLAYED IT OUT
A MILLION TIMES
IN MY MIND--

HOW YOU'D LOOK,
WHAT YOU'D SAY,
WHAT YOU'D THINK,

AND GUESS WHAT.
WHAT?

YOU WERE BETTER
IN MY HEAD.

MAYBE I JUST HAD
TOO MUCH TO DRINK.

NO, NO, IT'S NOT YOU.
IT'S ME.

I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING!
ISN'T THAT GREAT?

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT I WOULD FEEL.

I WAS ONLY THINKING
ABOUT YOU. I ONLY WANTED
TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

I NEVER THOUGHT I WAS
GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

OH, BUT YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH
FOR ME, ROSE. YOU ARE!

I KNOW, I KNOW!

BUT, ALEX, YOU'RE NOT
GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

OKAY.
(DOOR CLOSES)

(GREGORY) OH, SHE'S
WITH ALEX NOW, HENRY.

OH, GOD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS,
MY HEAD OR MY STOMACH.

HERE. DRINK THIS.
COME ON, LIE DOWN.

I THINK I MIGHT HAVE
CHINESE FOOD POISONING.

HERE. GIVE ME YOUR COAT.
ORDERED SZECHUAN CHICKEN
BUT THEY BROUGHT BEEF,

EXCEPT THEY FORGET
IT WAS CAT.

CAT?
(GROANS)

I'M SO DIZZY.
EASY. EASY.

I WAS IN THE APARTMENT
ALL ALONE, HENRY.

I--I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO.

COME ON,
GIVE ME YOUR SHOE.

I'M SORRY, HENRY.
IT'S OKAY.

YOU'LL JUST STAY
HERE TONIGHT. COME ON.

OH, HENRY.
YES, GREG?

I LOVE ROSE.

I KNOW.

BUT I LOVE THE OLD ROSE,

THE ONE WITH NO MAKEUP
AND BAGGY CLOTHES
WHO LOVES THE PERFECT BITE.

I LOVE HER.
IT'S REAL!

I-IT'S NOT BASED ON PASSION,
ALTHOUGH I FEEL THAT,

OR--OR LUST...

ALTHOUGH I FEEL THAT,

O-OR EVEN
PHYSICAL ATTRACTION,

BECAUSE SHE WASN'T, UH--

UH, A-ALTHOUGH I THOUGHT
SHE WAS QUITE BEAUTIFUL--

HER EYES, HER MOUTH,

THE WAY SHE HELD HERSELF,

THE WAY SHE MADE FUN
OF HERSELF.

SHE EATS CARROTS NOW!

ISN'T THAT TRAGIC?

MMM.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

DO YOU KNOW THAT
IN THE LAST TWO YEARS

I'VE BEEN WITH
11 DIFFERENT WOMEN, MOST
OF THEM HALF MY AGE?

NOT ONE WITH A SENSE
OF HUMOR I UNDERSTOOD.

NOW, I DON'T DATE
THESE GIRLS BECAUSE
THEY'RE WELL-READ.

I GAVE ONE A COPY
OF A FAREWELL TO ARMS.

SHE THOUGHT IT WAS
A DIET BOOK.

(LAUGHS)

MMM.

CAN I HELP YOU?
HI. I WANT TO SEE
A MISS MORGAN. 3-B.

IT'S KINDA LATE TO BE
VISITING PEOPLE.
PLEASE RING HER APARTMENT.

I DON'T BELIEVE MISS MORGAN
WOULD CARE TO BE DISTURBED
AT THIS HOUR.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE?
IT'S 6:00
IN THE MORNING.

I BELIEVE!
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU BELIEVE.

I KNOW HER A LOT BETTER
THAN YOU DO.
GO HOME, PAL!

ROSE!

ROSE!
HEY! HEY!

(HANNAH)
DO YOU HEAR THAT?
HMM?

(DOORMAN) I'M GOING
TO CALL THE POLICE!
ROSE!

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON?
ROSE!

(DOORMAN)
GO HOME!
ROSE!

(HANNAH)
IT'S HIM, ISN'T IT?
GREGORY. WHA--

GET AWAY FROM
THE GODDAMN BUILDING.
DON'T TOUCH ME!

OH, MY GOD! OH,
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

ROSE! ROSE!
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
(GIGGLING)

WHAT DOES HE THINK
HE'S DOING OUT THERE
AT THIS HOUR?

MOTHER, I'VE GOTTA GO
AND FIND OUT.

(DOORMAN)
GO HOME!
HE'S INSANE.

I KNOW.
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

ROSE!
(WOMAN)
SHUT UP!

LET GO!
(GRUNTING)
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

DON'T YOU KNOW PEOPLE
ARE TRYING TO SLEEP?
(MAN) PIPE DOWN!

COME ON, COME ON.
YOU HAD ENOUGH?

(GRUNTS)
STOP THAT!
EDDIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

(PANTING)
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL CALL THE POLICE.

DON'T CALL THE POLICE.
THIS IS MY HUSBAND.
(GROANING)

HE DOESN'T
HAVE A KEY?
DON'T ASK.

I TOLD YOU I KNEW HER
BETTER THAN YOU.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

WHAT IS GOING ON?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I-I-I CAME
TO SEE YOU.
WHY?

WHY DID YOU COME
TO SEE ME?
WELL, I-I, UH--

IN LIGHT OF
OUR LAST CONVERSATION
AND AFTER SPEAKING WITH HENRY,

I-I-I'VE COME TO REALIZE
THAT, UH,

A-A-ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT
HAVE SIGNIFICANT RESERVATIONS
ABOUT E-EVEN CONSIDERING--

GREGORY, I'M AGING HERE.
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT TO SAY?

GOD, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, GREGORY.

ROSE--

(SIGHS)

WHAT?

I'M SO SORRY...

FOR THE WAY I ACTED,
AND...

FOR THE THINGS
I SAID, I--
OHH.

I-I KNOW
THAT I HURT YOU--
IT'S OKAY.

IT'S THE ONE THING
IN THE WORLD THAT I DIDN'T--
I UNDERSTAND.

I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.
ROSE,
PLEASE LET ME FINISH.

THIS IS IMPORTANT
FOR ME TO SAY.

OKAY.

THAT NIGHT--
THA-THAT TERRIBLE NIGHT--

I--

I-I WANTED YOU SO MUCH,
I COULDN'T SEE STRAIGHT.

YOU DID?
YES, I--

I HAVE TO MAKE SURE
YOU KNOW THAT.

IT WASN'T YOU.
BECAUSE I THOUGHT--

NO, IT WASN'T YOU, ROSE.

YOU'RE A VERY--
A VERY SEXY GIRL.

AND--AND I-I KNOW...

THAT I-IT'S NOT FAIR OF ME
TO SAY THAT NOW THAT
YOU'RE WITH ALEX, BUT...

WHO SAID I--
WHO SAID THAT?
WHO SAID I WAS WITH ALEX?

YOUR MOTHER.

MY MOTHER?
OH, GREAT.

(LAUGHS)
OH, GREGORY.

I'M NOT WITH ALEX.

YOU'RE NOT?

MM-MMM.

W-WELL...

TALK TO ME.

ROSE...
UH-HUH?

I LOVE YOU.

AND I-I-I WANT TO BE
MARRIED TO YOU.

GREGORY...

YOU ARE
MARRIED TO ME.

I--THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT!
I--

OH, GOD--
WHAT?

I'M GETTING
A LITTLE DIZZY.
OH, NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'LL PASS.
JUST HOLD ON TO ME.

ROSE, DON'T EVER
LEAVE ME AGAIN.

I'M NOT LEAVING YOU.
I LOVE YOU.
(MOANING, KISSING SOUNDS)

I COULDN'T STAND BEING AWAY
FROM YOU. IT WAS KILLING ME.
OH, I'M SO GLAD.

I DON'T CARE IF YOU
ARE PRETTY. I LOVE YOU ANYWAY.
(LAUGHS)

EVERYTHING'S GONNA DROP
AS I GET OLDER, AND I'M
GAINING WEIGHT AS WE SPEAK.

WELL, THAT'S COMFORTING.

LUCIANO PAVAROTTI SINGING
PUCCINI'S NESSUN DORMA)

(LOUD SINGING CONTINUES)

(LIP SYNCHING
TO STEREO)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(I FINALLY FOUND
SOMEONE PLAYS)

(BRYAN ADAMS)
* I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE

* THAT KNOCKS ME
OFF MY FEET *

* I FINALLY FOUND
THE ONE *

* THAT MAKES ME
FEEL COMPLETE *

(BARBRA STREISAND)
* IT STARTED OVER COFFEE

* WE STARTED OUT
AS FRIENDS *

* IT'S FUNNY HOW
FROM SIMPLE THINGS *

* THE BEST THINGS BEGIN

* THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT

* IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU

* IT'S BETTER
THAN IT'S EVER BEEN *

* 'CAUSE WE CAN
TALK IT THROUGH *

* OOH, MY FAVORITE LINE

* WAS "CAN I CALL YOU
SOMETIME?" *

* IT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY
TO TAKE MY BREATH AWAY *

* THIS IS IT
OHH *

* I FINALLY

* FOUND SOMEONE

* SOMEONE TO SHARE
MY LIFE *

* I FINALLY FOUND THE ONE

* TO BE WITH EVERY NIGHT

*'CAUSE WHATEVER
I DO *

* IT'S JUST GOT TO BE YOU

* MY LIFE HAS JUST BEGUN

* I FINALLY FOUND

* SOMEONE

* OOH, SOMEONE

* I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE

* OOH

* DID I KEEP YOU WAITING?
* I DIDN'T MIND

* I APOLOGIZE
* BABY, THAT'S FINE

* I WOULD WAIT FOREVER
JUST TO KNOW YOU ARE MINE *

* YA KNOW, I LOVE YOUR HAIR
* ARE YOU SURE
IT LOOKS RIGHT? *

* I LOVE WHAT YOU WEAR
* ISN'T IT TOO TIGHT?

* YOU'RE EXCEPTIONAL

* I CAN'T WAIT FOR
THE REST OF MY LIFE *

* THIS IS IT

* OH, I FINALLY

* FOUND SOMEONE

* SOMEONE TO SHARE MY LIFE

* I FINALLY FOUND THE ONE

* TO BE WITH EVERY NIGHT

* 'CAUSE WHATEVER I DO

* IT'S JUST
GOT TO BE YOU *

* OH, YEAH...

GET IN, LADY.

OH, NO,
NOT YOU AGAIN.

YOU KNOW THIS GUY?
DON'T ASK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
YOUR WINDOWS
ARE STILL BROKE?

COMPLAIN TO THE CAB COMPANY.
I GOT NOTHIN'
TO DO WITH IT.

* AND WHATEVER I DO

* IT'S JUST GOT TO BE YOU

* OOH, MY LIFE
HAS JUST BEGUN *

* I FINALLY FOUND

* SOMEONE *