All language subtitles for handbook 2016

Here we go.

Okay...

Go get your bone,
go get your bone!

Go get it!

That was a good run.

What was that, five k?

That must be 35 k in dog.

...welcome back to
"wake up, Denver"!

And if you're not quite up yet,

this next segment is sure
to get your blood pumping.

Stopping by
to visit with us today

is none other than Dr. susie,

bestselling author of
"what's wrong with Mr. right."

And "checklist for love."

Dr. susie will be talking to us
about her current best-seller.

"The dater's handbook"

a how-to for
the modern, single gal.

Welcome, Dr. susie.

I have read your book,
and I love it.

But for the audience members
who haven't,

why are so many women
having issues

finding the right men
in today's dating world?

Well, like with
most issues in life,

the first step is admitting
you have a problem.

Now, in this case,

it might be
a little hard to admit,

because, ladies,

the problem is not
the men in your life,

it's you.

That's right! You!

You're choosing
the wrong kind of man.

You're picking
the rebel guy, the fun guy,

the brooding artist,

when, really, what you need
is someone who is reliable,

responsible, dependable.

Reliable, responsible
and dependable?

Duke, that's you.

They're talking about you.

You're loyal,
you're also loyal.

Dog Walker's coming at noon.

Bye, Duke.

Hi, Bob.
Thank you for calling back.

Okay, here is the capsule pitch
for your logo.

Think about it,

every day, millions of fans
fill stadiums,

doling out
their hard-earned money

on their favorite beverage,

but when they look
inside their cup,

they see nothing,

six blank inches
of white plastic.

But, Bob,
what they could be seeing

is your company's logo.

Now, that is
prime advertising space,

and, Bob, the first person
to claim it would be you.

Mm-hmm.

That is great news.

Okay, we can have
the logos printed

and shipped out to you by...

Oh, uh...
Wednesday the 15th.

Friday the 17th...

Okay, great.

We will send you
and email confirmation.

Thank you so much
for your business,

we appreciate it.

Bye-bye.

We'll send it on Wednesday,
and he'll love us.

Um, can you make sure

that first thing Monday morning
to email those graphics?

Okay.

Oh, um, actually, cass,

Monday doesn't work for me.

How could I forget?

Yes, it's your big weekend.

You're getting married.

Fine, go, abandon me,

and live happily ever after.

I can not stop doing this.

I've tried, I can't.

I'm getting married!

I'm going to be
Mrs. Dana schmointz.

Schmointz!

Mrs. schmointz, okay!

She's taking his last name?

No hyphen?

What kind of name
is schmointz?

An absolutely hilarious one.

No, but she was so happy.

I don't think I've ever seen
anyone that excited

about anything,

ever.

I didn't know people
could get that excited.

Of course, she's excited.

Marrying schmointz
is her fairy-tale dream.

It's kind of like
our wedding, huh, honey?

It was a fairy tale.

A dream...

Nightmare.

Well, nauseous.

Then I ran away,

then I threw up.

Yeah, she's not kidding

because I had to hold the veil.

You're such
a good sister.

Oh, look, here comes
your boyfriend,

bearing gifts.

You guys have to try these.

Cilantro-sesame-honey
chicken wings.

And because I can't
hang with you

because we're
short-staffed,

these are on the house.

Nice, well, we like free.

Uh, well, you know
I love wings,

I just, I can't
have them because...

Because of the honey.

Duh, she's allergic?

Hmm.

It's, uh...
Yeah, they're interesting.

- Interesting...
- Tangy.

Great, okay, so here's what
I'm thinking tomorrow, guys,

college games start
at 11:00, right?

Pick up some subs,

get in front of
a big screen,

boom, football marathon.

Boom, we are so in.

We have two birthday
parties tomorrow.

We are so out

'cause of
the birthday parties.

And we have
Dana's wedding.

Cass, we talked
about this,

you know how I feel
about weddings.

Wait a sec, you're not going
to this wedding?

No, I don't do weddings.

What?

And you're okay with that?

Oh, I couldn't ask
him to miss the games.

That are on every week.

That would be selfish of me.

No, seriously, how do you
get out of these things?

It's easy.

Look, weddings are boring
for everybody

except the two people
getting married.

Yeah, but that's what
couples do,

they do boring things together.

We do plenty of
boring things together,

just not weddings.

Or family functions,
or work events, or...

That's because
when you go to those things,

everybody always asks,
"when are you getting married?

When is it your turn?"

So annoying, right?

I wouldn't know.

No one's ever actually
asked me that about us.

Well, that's because we avoid
those type of situations.

See? It all works.

Yeah, yeah.

I'll get you
some more wings, honey.

Ah!

But with no honey.

Ah, who's thinkin'!

Are they a couple or not?

I'm right here.

Uh-oh.

Table five...

Just the best table

in the entire place.

Am I right?

Hey, are you
kids ready

to get this party started?

First thing we're going to do,

we're ordering a full round
of Shirley temples, on me.

Who's with me?

He's one cool dude.

Hah! See that?

Yes.

Okay.

Hello. Welcome
to table five,

the best table
at the wedding.

Wow.

Would you like to join us
in a Shirley temple,

miss...
Cassandra brand?

That sounds lovely, Mr...?

Zappia,

Robert zappia.

Make it a double, Mr. zappia.

She's going crazy, kids.

Gotta dance.

Come with me!

Can you believe
that I'm married!

I'm officially
Mrs. Dana schmointz!

Can you believe it?

Okay, you dance
a mean hora.

Well, thank you.

You dance a pretty mean hora
yourself, Mr. zappia.

Thank you.

Are you having fun
at the wedding?

Oh, it's great...

But the second best part
about the wedding

is the dancing.

And what, pray tell,
the first best thing?

- The cake.
- Ah.

Clearly.

Speaking of cake...

They really are
a perfect couple.

Yeah, you know,
if you're into that whole,

"be happy for the rest
of your life" thing.

Yeah, who wants that?
Blah, boring.

Boring.

But seriously, people,
you know they want...

They want love.

They want that happily ever...

- ...after.
- ... after.

Hey, kiddo.

Hey.

Oh, that looks
really good.

Put the cake on the table,
and the kids run...

Oh...

Excuse me?

That's... my cake, woman.

Mm...

It's so good.

That's...
That was my cake.

Turnabout's...

Ah!

Do you see
what's going on?

She just took your cake.

See, I told you

you'd meet
the girl of your dreams

at this wedding.

You are a wonderful dancer.

Thank you.

You're a little clunky.

Wow, thanks.

Thanks a lot.

It's because
you're on my toes.

Come here.

How's that?

Are you going to ask
that lady out on a date?

I don't know.
Do you think I should?

You want to get married

before you get too old
and crinkly, don't you?

Well... well, first off,

you gotta go on
a couple of dates first,

and then you get
married later,

that's usually
how it works.

You two
were cute together,

especially when she tried
to stab you with her fork.

That was funny.

Yeah? It was funny?

I'm glad it made you laugh.

You'd better ask her
before someone else does,

and she gets married.

You...

Kiddo,

are right.

You are so right.

Wish me luck.

And thank you for my dance.

Hi! How you doing?

Thank you.

You're not going to stay
for the toss?

Okay. Bye.

You're going to love
this place, mom.

Yeah, unbelievable
desserts.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, wow.

Oh, let me try that one.

Mm!

It's good, right?

Good choice, hon'.

Mm! I forgot to ask,
how was Dana's wedding?

You know, it was actually
better than expected.

It was a nice ceremony,
fun crowd, good cake.

Mm.

Did Peter have fun?

Peter didn't come.

He doesn't do
weddings.

What does that even mean,

"he doesn't do
weddings?"

Is he planning on
attending his own wedding?

Good question, mom.

Tell us
about that, cass.

You know...

I don't know
if the marriage thing

is really in the cards for us.

Huh.

You've been seeing each other
for almost two years.

You should know if he's the one,
I mean, at least potentially.

Do you even want to get married?

Yes, I want to get married.

Of course, I want
to get married.

Actually, I was watching
something about this very thing

on TV the other day,

and I realized
what your problem is...

I didn't know
that I had a problem.

Exactly.

First step,
admitting you have a problem.

Right, but I have to know
what my problem is

before I can fix that problem.

Okay, you're talking
in circles, you guys.

Would you please explain?

- Okay, cass...
- Yes?

You tend to go for
the same kind of guy.

You pick someone
you think you can change,

and mold into what you want,

but you can't...

Because it's not the man,
it's you.

Wait a minute, I saw this.

Are you quoting Dr. susie?

I am, and she's right.

You have a history

of picking
the noncommittal guys.

You pick the guys

who never have any intention
of committing long term.

Don't get me wrong,
they're nice guys,

Peter, Jamie, Jack...

Now, hold on,

um...

What about Scott?

Scott from college,

he was, um...

Scott was...

Oh.

You're right, I do.

I pick the wrong guys.

How... how did I not
realize that until right now?

Because you're competitive?

You like a challenge.

Peter is a great guy.

And he's easy on the eyes,

and you have
nothing in common.

Yeah, and he wouldn't even
go to a wedding with you.

He hasn't even
met mom yet.

He hasn't met me.

You're saying
he's never going to commit.

Are you saying
I should break up with him?

What we're saying,
dear, I think, is,

we just want you
to be happy.

And to be happy,

you have to change

the kind of guy you date.

Right.

Yeah, that seems...
Simple.

I am really sorry, George.

Just give me one second

to figure out what
happened to your order.

Don't worry cassandra,

you and your staff have
always come through for me.

I don't know how Dana
finds anything on her desk.

Um, I remember the order.

It was 1,000 umbrellas,

1,000 stressballs,
all with your logo.

You know how stressed out
us insurance adjusters get.

Apparently
you also get wet.

That's funny...

No, the umbrella
symbolizes the coverage...

I don't know why they haven't
arrived at your office yet.

It says here they shipped.

How about this,

I will double check
with the manufacturer,

and I promise,

I will make this up to you.

I know you will, cassandra.

You've always done great work,

and I have complete confidence
in your company.

Thank you so much.
That really means a lot to me.

I will take care of this.

"When you are together,

"you should be the only person
he's focused on.

"You've agreed to spend
your valuable time with him,

"you deserve his full attention.

No distractions."

When you said
we would have plans tonight,

I...
I don't know,

I thought maybe we'd be
doing something together.

We are together.
We're at the batting cages.

Boo-ya.

See that?

Yeah, I did.

Um...

I don't know if this
whole batting cage thing...

It's not really my idea
of being together.

Why?

We are...

...totally together.

Okay,

if, by "together," you mean

I'm on this side of the fence,
and you're on that side.

Okay, well,
what do you want to do?

I thought maybe
we could do something

where we're face-to-face,

and, you know, talk

and maybe have dinner?

Man...

Why can't I connect
like this all the time?

Peter, I need you
to focus.

Yeah. You need... what?

Peter!

What is going on?

I'm on this side
and you're on that side.

We are not together.

And I don't
just mean tonight.

I mean, we're at the restaurant,

and I'm with Nadia and Michael,

and you're running around,

or we go to a party,

together,

but it's like you forget
that I'm even there.

Or I go to a wedding,
and you don't come with me.

What... what's going on?

I don't know, cass.

I'm not really sure
what you want me to say.

Nothing.

I don't want you
to say anything.

Okay.

See ya.

That one had
a flight attendant on it.

You see that?

Cass?

Cass?

Okay, come on.

You were right,

things weren't going
well with Peter,

and you know what,

he didn't seem
to care if they did.

Same old, same old.

Good for you.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I mean, I think there
was a part of me

that always knew
he was just...

He was never
going to be the one.

Seriously?

What makes you think
anyone could wear that?

Clearly, she's not
six months pregnant.

You're tilting
at windmills again.

They mock me.

Real women are not
built like that.

Okay.

Well, you are,
but you're a freak.

Stop.

Maybe it's time
to try something new,

break the habit

of always choosing
the wrong guy,

time after time.

Maybe seek some
professional help?

What?

In the form of
a manual,

or handbook...

Mm-hmm, like consulting
"the dater's handbook,"

I get it.

How could it hurt?

Look, it's funny,

I actually just
saw a copy of it

in Dana's desk...

As in Dana, who just married
the schmointz of her dreams?

Yes.

Try the book.

Worst case, you end up
where you are now.

Best case,
you meet your own schmointz,

fall in love,

and live
happily ever after.

I don't know,

the whole thing
just seems so...

Desperate.

Dr. susie, she is a love
and relationship expert.

She has seven
published books,

all of them best-sellers.

I mean, she gives lectures
all over the country.

Mm-hmm.

In fact,

she is giving a lecture
on "the dater's handbook."

Tonight!

Huh!

I'm as shocked
as you are.

Sure.

Thank you.

Oh, and don't forget,

you can download
the audio version

from my website as well.

I'm your sister,
I support you.

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm married.

Oh, congratulations.

Hopefully,
you'll read my book,

and it will validate
your choice in husband.

Make it out to Nadia.

And this is
my sister, cass.

- Hi.
- Hi.

It's not the man,
it's her.

It really is.

That's why
we're here.

Thank you, I feel
really great about myself now.

Oh, no, you don't
need to be embarrassed.

You're not alone in this.

And honestly,

I wouldn't have written
this bestselling book,

or be giving
these sold-out lectures,

if it weren't for the fact
that I was once just like you,

facing the same obstacles.

She goes for
the non-committal guys.

No, it's not that
they're noncommittal.

It's just that they all...

They all just
have a history

of not actually
committing.

Well, if you're picking
the noncommittal guys

then maybe you're noncommittal.

I never
thought of that.

Oh, you're good.

Cass, the truth is,
nobody wants to admit

that they want
the predictable, consistent,

same-routine-every-day
kind of guy.

We all think we want
the unpredictable,

rebellious, exciting guys,

but those are the ones
that are never content.

They need to
keep moving,

always looking for
the next thing,

and that means you're never
going to be enough.

That's why they can't commit.

Wow, you are
really good.

I know.

Cass, my husband is
consistent, predictable,

and average in every way.

He brings home
the steady paycheck,

he always asks
about my day,

he doesn't look around
constantly for the next thing

when you are sitting right there
in front of him.

That is commitment.

Hmm?

Make it out to cass!

Cass...

Welcome to the dater's handbook.

If you're listening
to this audio recording,

that means you've made

the conscious decision
to improve your love life

and change the way
you look at the opposite sex.

I will show you

why the men you are choosing
are the wrong kind of men,

and I will help you
break that pattern

to find your Mr. right...

And get the happily-ever-after
you deserve!

Here! Here!

Good! Good boy!

Sorry about that.

I'm sorry.

Wow.

Were you trying to hit us
with your ball?

No, this was for protection,

because you might have
a concealed cake fork.

- Hi.
- Hi.

And who is this?

This is Duke.

Hi, Duke.

Who is that?

This is Daisy.

Um, I actually just got Daisy
last week from a shelter.

Can you imagine
that somebody left her

on the side of the road?

- No.
- It's crazy.

And apparently,
she's a very good retriever.

- Oh, let's see.
- Hey, Daisy!

So, do you, um...

Do you come here often?

Is that an actual question

or just an incredibly cheesy
and dated pick-up line?

Both.

Yes.

We come here
a couple times a week.

Sorry I didn't get a chance
to say goodbye to you

at the wedding.

Oh, it's okay.

I wanted to, uh...

Uh...

- I think that's your cue.
- Don't go.

- So, no...
- Let me just take this...

Yeah, yeah.

This is Robert zappia.

Uh, it was, uh...

- Hold on a second.
- Good to see you.

Duke? Duke, before
she disappears again,

will you ask your mother

if she'd like
to go on a date with me?

We've got
a slight problem

with the tornadoes order.

The order was

for a thousand "futbols"?

Okay...

And?

And it's for a give-away
for a soccer team in Argentina,

where they play "futbol".

Honest mistake.

Yeah, "football,"

"futbol."

Yeah.

So...

What do you want me to do?

First, I want you
to call the company

and see if they can make
the correct balls.

Second, I found
a high school in Wichita,

their colors are black and blue,

and their mascot is a tornado.

Call them, see
if they're interested,

and maybe we can recover
some of your losses.

That seems like a lot of work.

Yeah, Phil.

Yeah, it is.

Got it. Okay.

Cass!

Well, don't you look relaxed.

Welcome back.

It's good to be back.

Well, you are bursting
at the seams,

so tell me, how was it?

Oh, it was amazing.

Beach-front bungalow
with our own private palapa.

I love palapas.

Who doesn't love a palapa?
Even the word is fun to say...

- Palapa!
- Palapa.

I don't think that there is
anywhere more romantic

than a palapa in acapulco.

Well, you know,
a girl can dream.

But back to reality,

I need the jrb contracts,

and please set a meeting
with Stan Morris.

Yes.

- Great.
- Okay.

Thank you.

Oh!

Um...

I just have to say something.

At my wedding,

you and Robert looked
really great together, and...

He already asked me out.

Oh, yay!

Chapter one.

The first date

is the first opportunity he has

to show you

what type of effort he's going
to put into this relationship.

Does he make plans
and capture your personality?

The first date should be fun,
appropriate,

and something you would enjoy.

Watch and learn.

Oh, don't worry,
he's an herbivore.

He only eats trees,
and bushes,

and golf balls.

That's not an herbivore,
that is a tyrannosaurus Rex.

I want a mulligan.

Man up, friend.

There are obstacles
in mini-golf.

Now, let me see
what you got.

Okay.

Ooh...

Really?

I think
I'm being hustled.

Am I being hustled?

One never knows.

Oh...

One does know.
One is being hustled.

All right...

Okay. Oh, you're
going to stand up there.

Well, there's not much
room to stand elsewhere.

Oh, come on!

Aw, that's too bad.

Right there.

You know what?

All right,
here we go...

Oh, that is so sad.

By the way,
that's not sad,

that's just
called cheating.

You just told me that obstacles
were a part of miniature golf.

Fine, fair enough.

- Go for it.
- Fine. All right.

Oh, come on,
that is a foul.

That is a foul,
that is a blatant...

There are no fouls
in mini-golf.

I am gonna get my ball,

and put it back
where it should be,

which is here,

and that

is a gimme.

Tell you what,
I'll make you a wager.

Okay.

If you sink the putt,

you get to choose
where we go

on our second date,

but if you miss the putt,

I get to choose
where we go on our second date.

You're assuming we're having
a second date?

I am, and we are.

The where
is the only question.

Okay.

You ready?

Blindfolded?

You missed that putt
on purpose.

No.

I just didn't want
to bruise your ego,

so I thought I'd
keep it interesting.

Let's me see
what you got, kid.

Okay.

I got an idea here.

Uh-oh, she's getting down
with it.

Oh!

I am being hustled.

You were saying?

I don't even know
what I was saying.

What do I do?
I, um...

I oversee the operations of

and the financial budgets for

the city's parks
and recreation department.

That sounds very important.

What made you want to
get into that?

The free t-shirts...

Excuse me?

Yeah, whenever
an event is held

at one of our facilities,

I get to attend for free,

and I get a t-shirt.

And how about you?

How did you get into marketing?

Well,

after college,
I started working

at this big conglomerate
marketing firm,

where I was tasked with
increasing advertising

and finding new avenues
for promotion.

But when I was there
for a while,

and I saw what
they were doing,

and how much money
they were making

by just slapping
their logo on stuff,

I thought,

instead of going
through a middle man,

why not be
the middle man?

Plus,
I wanted to work

for the best boss
in the world,

and it turns out,
it's this guy right here.

Oh, and she's
humble, too.

Oh, stop.

I like that,
I like it...

All right,
I need to ask you

a very personal
question.

Okay.

I'm serious,

and I want you to think
hard about it

before you answer,

because I'd like the truth.

Did you miss that putt
on purpose?

Well, what if I did?

Then I get to choose
where we go on our second date.

Well, that would mean
we both win.

That was really...

That was so cheesy.

Yeah, that was cheesy.

Super cheesy.

Okay, it was, yeah.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Okay, let's move it, people.

The school fair starts at noon,

and I have 100 of these
to deliver.

So...

I had a date.

That's great.

Talk while you work.

What's his name?

Robert.

Where did you meet him?

Wait a second,
what about Peter?

Peter and cass
broke up.

Oh, seriously?

Yeah, it's
old news, hon'.

Okay, the date,
the date...

Okay, I met him
at Dana's wedding,

and he's handsome,
he's fit,

he works for the city,
he has a dog.

I like him already.

Was there a connection?
Any sparks?

There were definite sparks...

Ah, ah, ah!

Excitement, passion,
sparks are not important.

Consistency
and reliability,

that is what
we are looking for.

Wow.

You memorized the book.

Wait, what book?

Oh, cass has handed over
her love life

to Dr. susie

and "the dater's
handbook,"

and I am
coaching her.

Oh.

So, is this Robert
"handbook approved"?

Was he attentive?

Was he genuinely interested
in what you had to say,

or was he just there?

Yes, he paid complete
full to me, and...

It felt really good.

Good.

Robert's passed
the first test.

And remember, cass,

one good date does not
a relationship make.

You have to be sure

to open to
other opportunities.

That's right.

Mm-hmm.

Seriously?

Oh, sometimes it's like
I already have two children.

Three.

Okay...

Cassandra, hi.

Hi.

- Are you busy?
- No.

No, I just wasn't expecting
to see you here.

Hello.

I'm sorry to drop by
unannounced,

I just, I wanted to come by
in person and thank you.

You really went
above and beyond

the normal customer service
for our order.

Well, you're welcome,
and it's really my pleasure.

Your business
is important to us.

We gave it all away
at the claims expo,

and we had people
coming up to us after

asking if we had extras.

Great.

I really appreciate
what you did.

And I was wondering,

if you might like
to have dinner with me?

Oh, that's really kind,
but it's not necessary.

I mean, again, your business...

Is important, I know,

and you have my business.

I, um, I meant personally.

A date.

Oh.

Unless you feel like
it's inappropriate

because we do business...

No. No, I mean...

I guess it would be fine,
and I...

Yes.

That would be...

That would be really nice.

Great.

I will call you and make
the appropriate arrangements.

Perfect.

Hey!

Did I forget to schedule
a meeting with George?

Oh, no, no, no,

he, um, he just came by

to thank us
for all of our work.

Oh, well,
that's really nice of him.

Yeah.

Chivalry is not dead.

It's okay to expect
and want a gentleman.

We've come a long way,

but we should still
be treated like ladies.

A real gentleman

will do the big things
and the small things.

Wow.

This is really nice.

Chateau gruaud LA rose 1995.

Parfait.

Although, cassandra,

you should really be
the one judging.

Oh, okay.

Thank you.

Wow, that...

That's incredible.

Do you mind if I order
for both of us?

Please do.

You've done everything
perfectly so far.

Nous commencerons
avec LA salade nicoise,

suivi du steak tartar,

et comme plat principal

nous prendrons
tous les deux

le canard a l'orange.

Tres bon choix.

Quelque chose d'autre
pour madame?

Oui, oui.

She's asking
if you need anything else.

Oh. No, I'm fine.

That's great.

Thank you.

Merci.

Wow.

That is very impressive.

I didn't know
that you spoke French.

Oh, don't be impressed,

it's just, I seem to have
an ear for languages.

Well, I don't,

and I just learned

when I was in
an Indian restaurant last week

that "naan"
does not mean "no"?

They kept bringing me bread.

Well, to a beautiful,

and the most interesting woman
I've ever met.

And to getting
to know her better.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Cass, listen to me
and learn from my mistakes,

never volunteer to be
"room mother".

One week, it's making
a hundred cupcakes,

and the next week,
it's making costumes

for a healthy eating
extravaganza.

Ow.

- I'm begging you.
- Sorry.

You know, you could have
got this costume

in one day from Amazon

and it would have been
free shipping with prime.

That's what I told her.

She is a walking
advertisement now.

Does this strawberry
make me look fat?

Yes.

That's what I thought.

I've been dying to ask,
any more dates?

Well, you know,

since, um, I'm keeping
my options open,

I went out to dinner
with a client of mine.

His name is George kazminski,

and it was actually really nice.

He was a perfect gentleman.

He pulled out my chair,

and opened all the doors.

He even ordered for us.

Hmm, sounds like the kind
of guy we're looking for.

You mean "I'm" looking for.

Whatever.

I know I'm not supposed to ask,
but were there any sparks?

Not yet.

But that's not
what we're looking for.

Right, Nadia?

Word.

How do I look?

Mm.

Really good.

Okay, so when you said
"a running date,"

I gotta be honest,

I thought you meant
maybe outside,

little sun shining,

perhaps bring the dogs...

Well, that was the plan,

and the forecast said

that it was gonna be
warm and sunny.

Yeah?

It's obviously not.

It's cold and rainy,

but we improvise,

and I had a free ticket,

a free pass
for a guest to come,

and so I figured
I'd use it on you,

and I think
that's romantic.

It's so romantic.

Awesome. Now, let's just
see if you can keep up.

That sounds like
a challenge.

I'm just going to
jam mine up to,

I don't know, six.

You do that.
I'm getting ready.

Oh, really, you're gonna
just put ear buds in,

from an ancient iPod?

As luck would have it...

I brought you earbuds
and a splitter.

You're welcome.

That's very
considerate.

Thank you.

Here we go.

Motivation
for our run.

- Seriously?
- What?

You find this
motivating?

It's reo speedwagon.

It was my mom's favorite band.

She played it all the time
when I was growing up,

and... come on,

you know
you love them.

I love reo speedwagon.

Yeah, you see?

♪ I'm gonna
keep on loving you ♪

Whoa!

Um...

- Are you okay?
- I'm sorry.

What just happened?

Oh, no,
I broke it.

I'm sorry.

Did you really hate
the music of the '70s that much?

No, I really didn't.
I'm so sorry.

You must have been
so fond of this.

You've had it
for, like two decades.

I'm sorry, should we have
a moment of silence

for this little guy?

Is it too soon for jokes?

Not if they're funny.

Ouch.

Man-pride stung.

Speaking of man-pride,

there is a yoga class
that starts in 10 minutes.

Should we?

Yes.

I'm sorry about your iPod.

You should be.

Come on.

All right, the first
thing I learned is,

do not trust the weather guy
on channel four.

I don't know.

I have to be honest,

seeing you
fly off of that treadmill?

Pretty irresistible stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is my "go-to".

Second date
go-to move.

Nicely done.

As is...

This.

A picnic?

In a car?

Well, you are full of
surprises, aren't you?

What would you like?

Would you like fruit,

or do you want a croissant?

- I will have fruit, please.
- Okay.

Thank you.

There you go.

Okay, so this is
what I know about you,

I know that you have
a dog named Duke,

I know that
you like to run...

Yeah.

And you own
your own company,

which is very impressive.

Thank you.

What don't I know
about you?

Where were you born?

I was born
right here in Denver,

and then I, um, I went away
to college in Boston,

and then right around
my graduation,

my dad had passed away,

so I came back home
to help my mom out.

I'm sorry.

That's really sad.

Thank you.

Were you guys close?

Yeah, we were.

I was, um...

I was quite
the daddy's girl.

Um... he was the best.

He would take me and my friends
to ball games

and movies, and...

But he also knew
how to disappear

when he needed to,

like, um, sleep-overs,
and dances.

Sounds like a great guy.

Yeah, he was.

You actually remind me
of him a little bit.

He had that fun
and adventurous thing.

I really like that
about you.

What are...
Oh, my gosh.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

I'm sorry.

It was just so good.

Stop eating my food.

I'll trade you.

I don't want the fruit.

It's my favorite one.

The art of dating.

At this point, you may be
getting close to someone.

Careful!

You do not want
to fall into old habits.

Keep all options open

until you figure out
how you feel,

what you want,

and where you want
things to go.

So, how did you
learn about art?

Before I enrolled
in a business program,

I studied art
in college.

It gave me
an appreciation for, um...

The way people
see things,

how humans
express themselves.

I studied art
for a couple years,

in preschool.

It helped me learn
about tactile senses,

you know, that feeling of paint
oozing between my fingers.

See, this one
really speaks to me.

The color,

the way the owl
is front and center,

acting as a symbol
of wisdom,

power, intuition,

mystery,

and change.

Hmm.

What does it say to you?

Hoo hoo hoo!

That's "punny."

What about this one?

What does it
say to you?

Hmm, you know,

I'm not sure.

Oh, come on, give it a try.
There's no wrong answers.

Okay.

Well, I like the contrast
of good and evil,

the way the artist
has created

this dichotomy
of darkness and light,

illustrating the struggle
of human nature,

just clawing for
one moment of relief.

Interesting.

I'm not sure the artist
would agree with you,

but we all see art
in our own way.

No...

I was kidding.

Look, I find this piece
captivating.

I love abstract art.

This has beautiful shape
and form in its asymmetry.

I didn't mean
to make fun of it.

That's all right,

I didn't think you were
making fun of it.

We see what we see.

That's the beautiful
thing about art

is everybody sees
what they want.

Maybe this wasn't
your thing,

maybe you prefer
sculptures.

Or not.

There is no wrong.

It's all okay.

Thank you.

That means a lot to me.

Whoo! Hee hee!

I can't believe
I'm in a limousine!

This is so exciting,

even if I don't know
where we're going.

That makes
two of us.

Wait, hold...
Time out.

So, a limousine ride
isn't enough?

Because this is
all there is, ladies.

You're expecting
something else?

Okay, this is very nice.

It's just, I don't normally
bring my mom with me

on my dates.

Ah, well, you see,

actually, this is
Gloria's date.

You are literally
just along for the ride.

So, I'm
the third wheel?

That's good,
that's funny. Yes.

Oh, come on, Robert,

when are you
going to tell us

what the occasion is?

The anticipation
is killing me.

Okay, well,
we're almost there,

so I guess I can...
I guess I can tell you.

We are going to
a benefit concert

for children's hospital,
and several musicians are...

Reo speedwagon?

Reo speedwagon.

- No!
- Yes!

No, reo speedwagon?

- Yes.
- Really?

This is
by invitation only!

It's impossible
to get tickets.

Our office
helped set it up,

so I asked for
a couple of tickets,

and then asked for
another one

for the third wheel,

because I thought
it would be weird

if we went
on a date without her.

Oh, wow,

this is amazingly
sweet of you.

I have loved
reo speedwagon,

and I've never had
the chance to see them live.

Well, tonight's
your night.

Tonight's my night.

♪ When I said that I love you

♪ I meant
that I love you forever ♪

♪ and I'm gonna
keep on loving you ♪

♪ 'cause it's the only thing
I wanna do... ♪

Well, you did this

just to score brownie
points with my mom.

No...

No, why would I
do that?

Yes, that's
exactly what I did.

Gifting.

Giving the right gift
is imperative.

Any gift should be
thoughtful and personal.

See, I thought the rule was

"you get what you get,
and you don't get upset,"

but it turns out,

getting the right gift
is imperative.

Good to know, right, Duke?

I know.

Oh!

Happy Birthday!

And many more!

Aw, thank you.

Am I first?
Did I beat mom this year?

Well, it's
6:30 in the morning,

so, yeah, you're the first.

I can't wait to see what
Robert and George get you.

Well, you're assuming that
they're getting me gifts.

Uh, yeah, it's imperative.

If they don't,
then they're gone.

I gotta go.
It's mom.

Tell her I was first!

Okay.

Hi, mom.

Happy Birthday, honey!

Um, I know it's really early,

but I wanted to be first.

Well, you are the first,
congratulations.

Yes!

Nadia always wants
to be first,

but she will never beat me

now that I've mastered
the video chat.

Oh, I am very proud of you.

Thank you.

Mwah...

"Bank of devner."

I mean, come on,

does anyone spell check anymore?

I know you're busy,

but I hope these
brighten up your day.

Thank you.

They're gorgeous,
thank you.

I mean, lilies are my favorite.

Plus, you brought them to me
personally.

Well, deliveries
are so impersonal,

and I wanted to wish you
a Happy Birthday

in person.

I know you're having dinner
with your family tonight,

but I look forward to
celebrating with you

on Friday.

I can't wait.

Better go.

I have a deposition
in a half hour,

big accident dispute.

Ah, okay,

well, um, thank you again
for the flowers.

They're really
beautiful.

Hi.

Sorry, is this
a bad time?

No, no, just leaving.

She's all yours.

Thanks.

Hello.

Hi.

So, I'm on my way to
finalize arrangements

for this lantern festival
that I'm organizing,

but I wanted to wish you
a Happy Birthday.

How did you know
it was my birthday?

Oh, cass, Facebook, Google,

instagram, the Twitter,

there's a billboard
on the side of the road,

which I think is
a little bit obnoxious.

Okay.

I know a lot about you, cass.

The "Rachel hair cut"
when you were a little girl?

Not so good.

Wow...

You googled me?

No, I'm kidding.

Your mom... your mom told me
it was your birthday.

Well, look at you two,

bff's now?

Yeah, no,
she friended me.

She friended you.

Yeah.

Wow, okay.

Um, anyway,

I just wanted
to give you this.

Happy Birthday.

An iPod.

That's pretty great.

But how did you know that
I needed a new one?

I just...
I had a feeling.

Mm-hmm.

I gotta go,

I have a big, important meeting
with a paper lantern maker,

so I'm gonna...

But Happy Birthday.

Thank you.

Of course, yeah.

Um... Friday?
Is it Friday?

Saturday.

Saturday? Wonderful.

- Happy Birthday.
- Thank you.

There's
the bride, hi.

Hey.

Ooh, pretty flowers
from Robert.

Oh...!

Bigger breath,
bigger breath, bigger breath!

Only one girlfriend.

- You can get it, you can get it!
- One more!

Nice one!

I hope all your wishes
come true, my darling.

Well, they will,

after I have a piece
of this cake.

Sure, yeah.
Cut it up.

Mom...

What? Oh!
Too small, right?

I forgot.

I forgot who I was
dealing with here.

We'll take it,
we'll take it,

and we'll come back
for seconds.

How about you and I
split this, huh, buddy?

We're gonna head off
into the other room,

watch some teenage
mutant ninja turtles.

My gift to you,

ladies time.

Aw...

See you guys later.
Let's go, buddy.

Okay, so, you guys
are never going to believe

what happened today.

George and Robert
both came to see me at work.

No.

Not good.
Did they meet?

No, they just
missed each other.

They passed each other
in the hallway.

Phew.
Close call.

But, more importantly,
what did they get you?

George brought me flowers.

Lilies.

Oh, your favorite.

Score one for George.

I mean, that's
a personal gift

without being
too over the top.

Yeah, and, um, Robert...

Robert got me a new iPod.

Oh.

Electronics?

Well, he knows that
mine is broken,

so he, yeah,
he got me a new one.

Yeah, but you're not
his nephew.

I mean, an iPod,
it's not really personal.

Wait, why is
not personal?

Okay, he knew
she needed one,

and he got her
what she needed...

Yeah, but
Dr. susie says if...

I don't care what
Dr. susie says.

I think an iPod
is an appropriate gift,

and it's certainly
going to last

a lot longer
than flowers.

One thing that
concerns me, though,

is, um...

How long are you planning

on dating
both George and Robert

at the same time?

I don't think it's fair
to either of them...

Mom's right.

"The handbook" was intended

to weed out
the wrong kind of man,

not string multiple men along.

Okay, but I'm not
stringing them along,

I'm just getting
to know them better

so that I don't make
the wrong decision

again.

Okay, but eventually

one of them is going to
find out about the other,

and someone's
going to get hurt,

and it's probably
going to be you.

Clearly, they both like you,

but you are going to have to
make a decision eventually.

Ugh, I will make
a decision,

but how?

How do I choose?

Oh!

It's time to
bring out the check-list.

Oh, there's a check-list?.

Of course
there's a check-list.

Okay, here's the plan.

You go out with
George and Robert

for another week...

Okay...

Then we'll see
how they rate,

and we'll eliminate

whoever doesn't reach
all the requirements.

I don't know.

I just think
it's kind of weird

to use a check-list
to find love.

I think it should be
about the heart and feelings.

Sure, but then

you end up with
another Peter,

or Jamie,

or Jack.

Nadia's right.

I have been following Dr. susie
this entire way through,

and if I want to succeed,

I have to stick with it
till the very end.

It's decision time.

By now, you should know

if the person you've been
spending time with

is worth elevating
to the next level.

I got this, Dr. susie.

"Some final things
for you to consider are,

"how well does he know you,

"how much effort and planning

"does he put into
your time together?

"And finally,

"does he respect
your boundaries?

You get to determine
how and when your date ends."

All right, I've got
the check-list ready.

Let's see
how the guys did.

Question one,

did he make adequate plans
for the evening?

Okay, well, George...

George took me to a concert.

I love concerts.

- A quartet.
- Not so much.

This quartet plays
all over the world.

You work so hard,

I thought you might
enjoy something soothing

and relaxing.

Sounds like a nice
change of pace.

I thought you might
not appreciate bach

or tchaikovsky,

too boring.

This group
is quite whimsical.

Tonight, they'll be playing
popular movie scores.

Everything from
"Lawrence of Arabia"

to "jaws."

So, less chance of us
falling asleep.

The theme from "jaws"?

Mm-hmm.

It was actually...
It was really good.

So, it ended up being
the best of both worlds.

Why didn't you just
go to a movie?

Because he made
an effort.

He considered her likes,

planned ahead,

and she liked it.

Point, George.

Okay, now,
what about Robert?

Well, Robert started strong...

Just grab a seat
anywhere.

Yeah, you have no idea

how long the wait is
to get a seat in this place.

I can only imagine.

You know, actually,
I almost called

to make a reservation.

Did you?

Well, let's sit
at the counter.

Great.

Well, I'm not sure

about Robert's
choice of restaurant.

It's a date,

he could have picked
somewhere nicer.

George took you
to a concert...

Yeah, where they couldn't
talk to each other.

Nope. I'm going to
say no check.

Next question,

oh, this is a big one.

Is your date genuine?

I mean, is he
being true to himself,

or is he putting on airs
to impress you?

Ah! So boring.

Is there anything
good on that sheet?

Like, is there anything
about romance there?

Skipping ahead...

Please.

Is the evening
romantic throughout?

Well...

For you.

Thank you.

Wow.

Well, you certainly
know the way

to a girl's heart.

- I certainly hope so.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Hey, folks,
what can I do you for?

Hi, boss, um...

What are your
specials tonight?

We got a steak salad,

but we are known
for our wing sampler.

I will have
the steak salad.

And what do you recommend?

The wing sampler.

Okay, well,
I'm gonna make it easy on you,

I'm going to get the wings.

Five

bold flavors of wings.

I mean, have you ever
heard of so many flavors

on one chicken body part?

No, you know,
I can't say that I have.

Right, which makes me think
you're going to eat my wings.

No, I ordered
the steak salad.

That's all
major food groups

in just one salad,
so we're good.

I doubt it, I doubt it.

Hey, sir?

Could you save us a piece

of that seven layer tower
chocolate cake for us?

'Cause you don't want to know
what happens if you don't.

Are you serious?

They're famous
for their cake.

"Seven layers of
chocolatey heaven.

Can you climb the tower?"

Oh, well, I didn't wear
my hiking boots,

but if it's chocolate,

it's on.

Look at that, confident.

Clearly, he knows the way
to cass's heart

is through her stomach.

Fine. How was the food?

It was delicious.

Mm!

Sorry for the wait
on those, guys.

Thank you.

That is very good.

That is amazing.

Yeah.

They're amazing.

Mm... wow.

All right, here,

there's five
bold flavors.

You might as well
prepare.

Oh, I plan on it.

Okay, he let you
share his food with him,

that's romantic.

Point, Robert.

Well...

Cass, are you
all right?

You look...

Red, green, and pale

all at the same time.

I'm gonna get you a wet towel.

It's just
a little rash.

Um...

Wait a second, was there...
Was there honey in the...

Uh-oh.

Cass? Cass!

Cass?

Cass?

Oh, my gosh,

she's been stabbed!

Dominic, call 9-1-1!

Wow...

That's...

Yeah, I know.

Unfortunate.

Another point lost
for Robert.

Oh, come on!

How was he
supposed to know

that she had an allergy?

Plus, she was
eating off his plate.

Yeah, "by now,

he should know
all about you..."

Oh, you know what,

I was married to your father
for 26 years,

and he still
couldn't tell you

what I'd like
on a hot dog.

Didn't mean
he didn't care.

Okay, well, we're just

going to have to agree
to disagree on this one.

And now,
back to the list,

final question...

Yes.

End of the date,
does he respect your boundaries?

Well...

I guess, uh,
this is good night.

That was really fun,

going to the string quartet.

I never would have chosen
something like that,

but it was nice.

Well, I can tell
you enjoyed it.

You've been humming the theme
from "jaws" since we left.

It's very sweet.

Um...

I would invite you up,
but I... I just...

When you're ready.

I'm not going anywhere.

He hugged you?

I wish it weren't true.

He was being respectful.

Point George.

Respectful, yes.

Romantic, no.

Okay, well, look, it...
It was nice.

I would say that it was...

It was romantic
up until that point.

Okay, let's just
move on to Robert.

Yeah, let's, please.

Okay, well...

Um...

Thank you for

riding with me
in the ambulance

to the emergency room.

That was a date
for the memory books.

No, it's just,

I'm sorry that
tonight turned out

the way that it did.

Can I have
a redo, please?

Yeah. Yeah, we'll definitely
give it another shot.

Look, I know that
you're capable

of taking care
of yourself,

but I would feel better
if I stayed,

just to
make sure that you're okay.

That's really sweet, but I, uh,
I just need to get some sleep.

I'm not trying
to be weird.

I just... it would make
me feel a lot better

seriously.

Okay.

Very sweet.
Very considerate.

How long did he stay?

We both fell asleep.

No!

No, no, no.

Oh.

Hey, Duke.

Hi, bud.

I've got to go see Daisy.

And then when I woke up
in the morning,

he was just gone.

That is a serious
infraction.

Boundaries breached.

At first,
you wanted him to leave,

and then he stays
overnight,

and then he leaves
without saying goodbye?

I hate to say it,

but it's not looking good
for Robert.

Oh, come on, it may not
have gone perfectly,

but he was really trying...

Not hard enough.

One bad date, okay?

Cass, you have to admit

that there's something
between you two, right?

I saw you guys.

You can't deny that you
have feelings for Robert.

I do.

I like him.

I really like him.

Well, that's all
that should matter.

No...

According to the handbook,
there needs to be more.

There needs
to be consistency

and reliability.

That's great
if you want hugs

for the rest
of your life.

Tell me something,

when you look into George's eyes

does it feel the same as when
you look into Robert's eyes?

Those feelings fade

when you have kids
and you work,

and you're sewing
strawberry costumes

late into the night,

and Michael comes
home tired, and...

This is not about me,

but I think
I've made my point.

Okay, mom, look, I...

I completely see
what you're saying,

and I've...

I've had those feelings before,

and they've gotten me nowhere.

I like George,
and I like Robert...

It's not fair
to either of them.

I have to make a decision.

Hey, it's cass.

Um...

I was thinking, and I, um...

I...

I don't think that we should
see each other anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure.

I'm sorry.

I like it.

Pretty good, right?

Good color scheme,
nice font size,

good placement,

and it's the right
type of "futbol".

Dana?

Yeah, it looks good.

Finally.

Let's get them
into production.

I am so on this.

How many?

A thousand, right.

I should have
known that.

That was due, like,
three weeks ago, right?

Yeah, but his dad was
so supportive of me

when I was getting started,

so I just, I want to
pay it forward with him.

All right.

♪ I'm gonna keep on
loving you ♪

♪ 'cause it's the only thing
I wanna do ♪

♪ yeah!

Close the door!

Is cass here?

Did she say when
she was going to come?

She didn't,

only that she was going to
bring a friend with her.

The suspense
is killing me.

Is it going to be
Robert or George?

Is it Robert, George?

Maybe she got together
with that Peter guy again?

Michael, this is cass's life,
not some romantic TV movie.

Okay, it's killing me, too.
I'm hoping it's Robert.

No way!

The book says
it has to be George.

Well, I hope she threw
that ridiculous book away.

Guys, she's here!

She's here!

And the winner is...

- Who is that?
- George.

George!

George.

Okay, hang up
your coats

at the front!

Or drop them
on the ground, whatever!

Um, we need
more dino dogs.

More dino dogs.

Really? Okay.
Good, good!

Here you go.

Quite a party.

I am so glad
you guys could make it.

I know
a dinosaur party

isn't high on most people's
weekend to-do list.

Well, it's nice
to meet all of you.

Cass has been telling me
a lot about you.

And it's great
to meet you, finally.

Cass has been telling
us all about you.

String quartet?
Impressive.

This is very impressive.

The dinosaur cake...

And "pin the tail
on the brachioauras,"

and "feed the t-Rex."

And outside,
we have a Jurassic jumphouse.

Yes, because, apparently,
Jurassic is in again!

Um, well, he has not met
the birthday boy yet,

so we're going
to go do that.

- Yes.
- Right over here.

So that's George?

I like him.

I can read you
like a book.

Hmm.

Hey, cass!

Hey.

You must be George!

Nice to meet you.
Michael.

Hi, nice
to meet you, too.

So, I guess congratulations
are in order, huh?

Okay, thanks...

For, um, for what?

Well, you've passed
the tests,

you've been
declared the winner,

you beat
all the other suitors...

Well played, good sir!

He's pretending
to be a king...

Dragon-slayer,

all those medieval things.

Honey, it's a dinosaur party.

Dinosaur party, right.

There are no suitors.

No suitors.

Right, there's
no suitors.

Of course,
there's no suitors.

Right, oh,
totally, yeah.

Ah, pinata!

Yeah, pinata!

Let's just do...
We... why don't we...

Can you help me
in the living room

with the pinata?

Sure, of course.

Could we do that?
Thanks, thank you.

I was just thinking

that those kids
need some more sugar.

All right, Jeremy,
give it a good whack!

Okay, look out...
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That hurt!

Oh, look out!

Whoa, I'm getting dizzy.

The kid's got
a great swing, huh?

Easier without
the blindfold on.

Kind of cheating,
don't you think?

He's a kid.
It's about the candy.

Whoa!

I suppose.

Still, it's a good
teaching moment.

Cheating's not going to get him
anywhere in life.

Did someone
say lava juice?

I would love some,
wouldn't you?

There we go...

He's polite,
mature, focused...

I don't know.
Seems a bit stiff to me.

Mom! Shh!

He might hear you.

Look, he's not stiff,
he just...

Coming to this party,
meeting all of you at once...

I think
it was a little overwhelming.

And you've got
to give him credit

for having the courage
to show up at this zoo.

That's something that
Peter never would have done.

Our little cass
is all grown up.

Going for the adult,
not the noncommittal.

Well, if you say so...

Oh, come on, mom.
You've got to give him a chance.

How about this?

I will invite him to the house
to have dinner,

and then you'll get
to know him better.

Okay, that sounds fair.

Michael... kids...

T-Rex...

Nope.
This all works.

I nailed this party.

Is it bad?

I think I can see
where it's coming from.

Should have it as good as new
in no time.

Do you think
I should call a plumber?

No, no.
It's all right.

I got this.
Just one sec.

There we go.
Okay.

It's good?
Wow!

Think so.

Thank you!

I mean, it's...

It's really nice
of you, George.

I don't know
why I'm surprised,

because you're
always so dependable,

but... I can
really rely on you.

I love that.

Well, thank you.

Ee....

Duke...

Behave.

It's all right.
He's just being protective.

Once he spends
more time with you,

he'll warm up to you.

I'm sure he will.

Anyway,
sink problem fixed.

Wow...

Now, if only you could
install snow tires.

Oh, no, cassandra,

you really have to get that
done by a professional.

The insurance institute
for highway safety

recommends that radials
be used all year round now.

Interesting.

Did they tell you that
personally?

As a matter of fact, they did.

That's...

I will make sure
I do that

first thing
in the morning.

Mr. zappia.

Yeah?

You're all set.

I'll grab your keys
and you can roll out of here.

Awesome.
Thank you so much.

You bet.

Yeah, and thanks for
letting me hang my poster.

No problem.
Looks good.

Oh, thanks.

Ms. brand...

Hi.

You're never going
to believe this,

but we just ran out
of rubber.

What?

I'm just kidding.

A little tire humor there
for you,

but it wasn't "wheely" funny.

We don't have your
tires in stock,

but we can get them here
in a couple hours.

- Do you want to wait?
- Um...

Coffee and a couch.

You know what?
I'll wait outside.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey!

No, no, no,
no, no, no.

If you want
to hide from me,

you're going to have to run
faster than that.

Robert.

- Hi.
- Hi.

What are you doing here?

I'm getting my
transmission worked on.

You?

Uh, just...
Waiting for tires.

Ah.

Yeah.

So here we wait.

Together.

Mm-hmm...

So... our date.

I'm really sorry
for the way things ended,

and you have to know,

honestly, it wasn't
anything that you did.

It was me.
I know how that sounds.

It's just...

I always go
for the same type of guy,

and I need to start making
better choices

in that department.

So...
Instead of giving me a chance,

you just decided to sabotage

any possibility
of a relationship?

Yeah, pretty much.

I'm just...

I'm trying to change the way
I choose my relationships,

and you happened to get caught
in the middle of that,

so I'm sorry.

Okay.

Thank you for your honesty.

Yeah.

Okay.

We can stand here,
waiting,

probably endlessly,

or...

There's a bowling alley
up the street.

We could bowl away
our boredom.

Oh, I don't think
it's a really good idea.

Well, okay.

All right,
I'm going to go,

'cause I'm going
to go bowl,

but you can stay here,

'cause this parking lot,
this looks awesome.

That looks like
a lot of fun in there,

the waiting room,

so you have fun.

Okay, I will come...

As a friend.

Okay.

Mr. zappia,
I've got a...

Couple more hours
on your car.

All right.

Friends.

Friends.

Ah, thank you.

Waiting, like,
a half an hour for these.

Okay, quiet, please!

I want to hear a pin drop.

Spare me.

Okay...

Nice shot.

Oh!

Unbelievable.

Thank you.

I was, uh, 6th grade
bowling champion

in my elementary school.

I've got the trophies
to prove it, so...

Impressive...
No, no, no! Uh-uh.

I don't share my French fries
with my "friends."

Wow. Okay.

Be a French-fry hog.

Hey, look it, you can call me
whatever you want.

I'm just...

I'm not going to share
my food with you anymore.

Okay, but now
it's your turn,

so what are you going
to do about your fries?

Watch.

Are...

Really?

Yeah.

Oh!

Gutter ball!

Oh, that's a shame,

but you know what?

I will give you
a do-over...

For the fries.

No...

I'm going to keep
my gutter ball,

and I'm going to keep
my tasty French fries.

Okay, but what if
we share the fries

and, um...

The loser pays for them.

Why do I feel like
I'm being hustled right now?

Do we have a deal?

Yeah, yeah.
It's your turn.

Thank you.

This is where
I get my revenge.

Aah...

What are you doing?

Playing defense.

We're bowling.

Yeah, there's a whole basket
of tasty fries at stake.

I'm holding
a bowling ball.

I could hurt you.

I'll take my chances.

Yeah?
Okay! Fair enough.

Yes!

Unbelievable.

This is why cheating

won't get you
anywhere in life.

Did you really
just say that?

I did. You're up.

Oy. All right.

Are you ready?

Yes.

Come on.

Aw, see?

And this is why
you shouldn't cheat.

I'm sorry. I can't.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Uh... I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you
for the game.

Oh, George,
the desserts are so beautiful.

Well, dinner was so delicious,

I thought bringing dessert
from my favorite patisserie

was the least I could do.

George, I was
just trying

to explain to my mom

exactly what it is
you do for a living,

but I thought maybe

you could explain it
even better.

Well, I can try. Um...

I am a group manager
for an insurance service.

We investigate
automobile accidents

and help determine
liability

and provide
cost analysis.

Ooh, that sounds exciting!

So it's kind of like you go out
and investigate,

like a detective...

No, we don't go out
and investigate.

I manage a group of people

that look at the evidence
surrounding an accident.

Okay,
so they're the detectives?

Not really.

No.

Ah...
Sort of, I suppose.

As a team, we look at
the evidence

and talk to witnesses,

get statements
from drivers,

then I spend hours

calculating loss ratios

and negotiating...

Trying to save the company
as much money as possible.

Mm.

I, um...

I actually brought enough
for us each to have one.

Of course.

Gloria,
what do you do for fun?

Oh, well, um...

I like to play
on my iPad.

I just discovered Facebook.

That's one of
those time killers

I've thankfully never been
interested in...

George.

Um...
But if you enjoy it,

then by all means,
keep doing it.

So, I know how you guys met,

but tell me,
what do you two do for fun?

Well, you know what?

George and I
are both so...

Adventurous,

and we like
to discover...

New music,
and fine dining,

and, um...
And art.

Really?

I didn't know you liked art.

Yeah, you did...

And going
to a gallery

that I've never
been to before.

I mean, as George said,
it's...

That is...

Adventure.

It really is.

Hear hear.

Yeah.

You have
an amazing daughter.

Thank you.
I know.

I'll call you tomorrow.

Yeah, good night.

Had a wonderful evening.

Whoo!

Okay...

So...

Second impression?

Well, um, you know,

his work seems important
and useful.

Mm-hmm.

Uh...

He's very polite,
and good manners, and...

And you don't like him.

No, I don't, really, um...

But I...

I don't understand
why you like him.

I like him
for plenty of reasons.

He's reliable,

dependable...

He's well put together.

You know...

Those are great words

when describing
a major appliance,

but not when you're talking
about your boyfriend.

What about "fun?"
What about "exciting?"

Right, right, but we know
that I'm trying to grow away

from being attracted
to that kind of guy, right?

Again with that book...

Look...

I am trying to find a man

who will actually commit
to a mature relationship,

and you know what?

That could be George.

Yeah, I just...

Listen, honey, I...

I don't know
anything about anything

in this modern world of ours,

but I listen when you and Nadia
are talking

about what Dr. susie promotes,

and one of the
things she asks,

if I remember correctly...

"Is he genuine,

or is he acting differently
to win you over?"

You don't think
he's being genuine?

No, I definitely think
he's being genuine.

The question is...

Are you?

Don't mind him.

He's an herbivore.

He only eats bushes,
trees, and golf balls,

but you never know

when a dinosaur
could ruin your game.

I never understood the need
to take a fun game

and then add windmills,

and clown faces,
and dinosaurs.

Plus, I didn't realize
how loud it was going to be,

but you know, if this is
what you want to do...

I just thought
that it would be fun, maybe,

to loosen up a little,

you know,
be more ourselves.

I'll try anything once...

As long as it's with you.

Okay.

Okay.

Bleagh...

No, it was great!

It's good. Really good.

Give it another shot.

Okay.

Oh!

Hey, what are you doing?

Just a little playful defense.

In golf?

It's miniature golf,

and...

Looks like
I've got a gimme...

And that is how
it's done.

Oh, George.

If you're not enjoying this,

I bet there's some games
upstairs

that you might think
are fun to play.

Look, cassandra,
you are amazing.

You are one of
the most interesting, talented,

driven women I've ever met,

and so if this is the sort
of place you like to come,

I'll learn
to like it, too.

Um...

Well, that's not
exactly private.

I didn't realize
that you were so...

Spontaneous,

or outgoing,
or passionate?

No, I don't think

you've gotten to know
any of those things about me

since we've been dating.

I guess I haven't.

Or that I'm competitive,
or that I share food, or...

Look, we're just getting
to know each other.

I'm sure that I'll like
all of these sides of you.

I know I will,

because I'm...
I'm falling in...

No.

George...

Wait.

You can't be falling in...

Whatever with me,

because the truth is,

you don't really know me.

I haven't...

I haven't been
genuine with you.

I mean, I let you
call me cassandra.

No one calls me
by my full name.

They don't?

No.

They don't.

You're a great guy,

and I have had a great time
with you,

but I have been
trying to see

if you could live up
to some ridiculous standard,

and...

I haven't been
myself with you...

And I can't keep that up
for the rest of my life,

and at some point,
you'll figure out

that I am not the girl
that you think I am.

And I'm really sorry.

Thank you.

Come on, Duke.

Whoo...

Okay, go on.

Welcome back
to "wake up Denver,"

and if you are looking

for something fun
to do tonight,

cissy and I will be hosting
the lantern festival.

We would love to have you there.

To kick things off today,

we're, once again,
talking to Dr. susie,

author of
the just-released book

"dissecting divorce."

"How to leave that
not-so-perfect mate behind."

After several successful

self-help relationship
best-sellers,

Dr. susie is now helping
those who have loved and lost.

Dr. susie,
can you give us some advice?

Well, as you know, Kyle,

i am in the midst

of what is becoming
a very public divorce,

and, ladies, I just
want you to know

that after a break-up,

yes, you will have
moments of doubt,

and you will want
to blame yourself for the loss,

but let me tell you something...

It is not you.

It's the man!

So true.

Ugh...

Whoa!

Hi.

"The dater's handbook?"

Really? You?

I don't know
why you're so surprised.

We all know my dating history,
and...

...and I just figured

if it could work
for you and Jim, that...

Maybe I'd give it a try.

You think Jim and I...?

Please!

I saw it in your desk.

It was a gag gift.

Dr. susie would never approve
of my relationship.

Jim is crazy.

Never what he's going to say
or do from one day to the next,

or if he's going to show up
when he's supposed to,

but...

It's always a puzzle,
and I'm never bored.

He's the most interesting
person I know,

and keeps me on my toes
all the time...

And, frankly,

who wants someone

boring, dependable,
and reliable anyway?

Hello, this is cassandra.

Hey, cass, it's Nadia.

Do you want to join us
at the lantern festival tonight?

Jeremy's so excited.
Mom's coming too.

- Yes, um...
- Great.

That sounds like fun.
I would love to.

Great!
We'll pick you up at 6:00.

Okay.

See you soon!

What a wonderful turnout!

A fantastic crowd!

Gung hay fat choy!

Welcome. Welcome to everyone.

Now, if you haven't
done so already,

find your lantern.

We'll be launching them
in about 10 minutes.

So we go back
to the start?

Chapter one...
It's not the man, it's you.

No...

I think I'll, uh...

Just do it on my own now.

Oh, sweetie,
don't give up.

You know that George
wasn't the right one,

but...

The list works.

I say, we start fresh.

No, I...

I think I know
what I want now...

Really.

I'll catch you guys later.
Sorry!

Attagirl.

Find your spot!

Raise those lanterns!

Sorry, sorry...

And here we go!

In ten...

Nine... eight...

Seven...

Six... five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

One...

I was hoping
I'd find you here.

Here I am.

I made a huge mistake,
and I...

I misjudged you,

and I really shouldn't have been
judging you at all.

I should have been
getting to know you,

and instead, I was following
these ridiculous guidelines.

What are you
talking about?

You're...

You're full
of surprises,

and you're fun,
and you're thoughtful...

I just want you
to know that I was wrong.

Cass, what do you want
from me?

I know that I don't deserve
a second chance,

but I really hope
you give me one.

I guess
what I'm trying to say...

I'm...

And I'm also really sorry
that I just let your lantern go.

It's okay.
It's okay.

I'm happy to let my lantern go,
'cause I am hanging onto you.

Ooh...

Cheesy?

So cheesy...

Cheesy.

So cheesy!

♪ I just wanna
keep on loving you ♪

♪ ooh