Original subtitles

- Oh, it's a sanctuary base! - Deep space exploration.

"Welcome to hell."

What are you lot doing here?

- That's a black hole. - But that's impossible.

This lump of rock is suspended in perpetual geostationary orbit

around that black hole, without falling in.

There's some sort of power source holding us here.

We're drilling down to try and find it.

The Tardis is gone.

Well, whatever it is down there, it's not a natural phenomenon.

And there was some form of civilisation.

They buried something.

- What are they called? - They're the Ood.

Basic slave race.

There's something happening with the Ood.

And you will worship him.

You can tell Toby we've found his civilisation.

These are the words of the Beast.

And he has woken.

I have been imprisoned for eternity.

But no more.

The Plt Is open

and I am freel

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Open fire!

We're stabilising. We've got orbit.

Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me? Doctor, Ida, are you there?

It's me!

But they're coming. It's the Ood.

- They've gone mad. - How many of them?

All of them, all 50.

Danny, out of the way. Out of the way!

But they're armed. It's the interface device.

I don't know how, but they're using it as a weapon.

Close door 1.

Open door 1. Close door 1.

Lockdown! Seal door 1!

- Seal door 25. - Seal door 24. Seal door 23I

Jefferson, what's happening there?

I've got very little ammunition, sir. How about you?

All I've got is a bolt-gun with, uh, all of one bolt.

I could take out a grand total of one Ood. Fat lot of good that is.

Given the emergency, I recommend strategy nine.

Strategy nine agreed. Right, we need to get everyone together.

Rose, what about Ida and the Doctor? Any word?

I can't get a reply. Just nothing. I keep trying, but it's...

No, sorry. I'm flne. Stlll herel

You could have said, you stupid...

Whoa, careful!

Anyway, it's both of us, me and Ida. Hello!

But the seal opened up. It's gone.

All we've got left is this chasm.

- How deep Is It? - Can't tell. Looks like it goes down forever.

The Pit is open. That's what the voice said.

But there's nothing. I mean, there's nothing coming out?

No, no, no. No sign of the Beast.

It said Satan.

Come on, Rose. Keep it together.

Is there no such thing? Doctor?

Doctor, tell me there's no such thlng.

Ida, I recommend that you withdraw immediately.

But we've come all this way.

Okay, that was an order. Withdraw!

When that thing opened, the whole planet shifted.

One more inch and we fall into the black hole

so this thing stops right now.

But it's not much better up there with the Ood.

I'm initiating strategy nine

so I need the two of you back up top immediately. No...

Ida? Ida?

What do you think?

He gave an order.

Yeah, but what do you think?

It said, "I am the temptation."

If there's something in there, why is it still hiding?

Maybe we opened the prison but not the cell.

We should go down.

I'd go.

What about you?

Oh, in a second. But then again...

That is so human.

Where angels fear to tread.

Even now, standing on the edge,

it's that feeling you get, yeah?

Right at the back of your head.

That impulse, that strange little impulse.

That mad little voice saying, "Go on, go on, go on.

"Go over, go on."

Maybe it's relying on that.

For once in my life, Officer Scott,

I'm going to say...

retreat.

Now I know I'm getting old. Rose, we're coming back.

Best news I've heard all day.

What are you doing?

He's infected. He brought that thing on board. You saw it.

Are you gonna start shooting your own people now? Is that what you're gonna do?

- Is it? - Lf necessary.

Well, then you'll have to shoot me, if necessary. So what's it gonna be?

Look at his face. Whatever it was, it's gone.

It passed into the Ood. You saw it happen.

He's clean.

Any sign of trouble, I shoot him.

You all right?

Yeah.

- I don't know. - Can you remember anything?

Just... It was so angry.

It was fury and rage and death.

It was him.

It was the Devil.

Come here.

What's strategy nine?

- Open the airlocks. - We'll be safe inside the lockdown.

The Ood will get thrown out into the vacuum.

So we're going back to a slaughter?

The Devil's work.

Okay, we're In. Brlng us up.

Ascension in three, two, one.

Thls Is the darkness.

Thls Is my domaln.

You Ilttle thlngs that Ilve In the Ilght,

cllnglng to your feeble suns

whlch dle, In the end...

- That's not the Ood. - Somethlng Is talklng through them.

Only the darkness remalns.

This is Captain Zachary Cross Flane of Sanctuary Base 6,

representing the Torchwood Archive.

You will identify yourself.

You know my name.

What do you want?

You wlll dle here, all of you. Thls planet Is your grave.

It's him. It's him. It's him.

If you are the Beast, then answer me this. Which one, hmm?

'Cause the universe has been busy since you've been gone.

There's more religions than there are planets in the sky.

The Arkiphets, Quoldonity,

Christianity, Pash Pash, Neo-Judaism,

San Claar, the Church of the Tin Vagabond. Which devil are you?

All of them.

What, then you're the truth behind the myth?

Thls one knows me as I know hlm.

The klller of hls own klnd.

How did you end up on this rock?

The Dlsclples of the Llght rose up agalnst me

and chalned me In the Plt for all eternlty.

When was this?

Before tlme.

What does that mean?

Before tlme.

What did "before time" mean?

Before tlme and Ilght and space and matter.

Before the cataclysm.

Before thls unlverse was created.

That's impossible. No life could have existed back then.

Is that your rellglon?

It's a belief.

You know nothlng. All of you, so small.

The captaln, so scared of command.

The soldler, haunted by the eyes of hls wlfe.

The sclentlst, stlll runnlng from daddy.

The Ilttle boy who Iled,

the vlrgln and the lost glrl.

So far away from home.

The vallant chlld

who wlll dle In battle so very soon.

- Doctor, what does that mean? - Rose, don't listen.

What does it mean?

You wlll dle

and I wlll Ilve.

What the hell was that?

I had that thing inside my head.

- Doctor, what did it mean? - What do we do?

Captain, what's the situation with strategy nine?

...the black hole, everything's true!

We've lost pictures.

- How did it know... - Did anyone get an analysis?

Jefferson.

Stop. Everyone, just stop!

- What do we do? - Report...

If you want voices in the dark, then listen to mine.

That thing is playing on very basic fears.

Darkness, childhood, nightmares, all that stuff.

But that's how the Devil works.

Or a good psychologist.

How did it know about my father?

Okay, but what makes his version of the truth any better than mine, hmm?

'Cause I'll tell you what I can see. Humans.

Brilliant humans. Humans who travel all the way across space.

Flying in a tiny little rocket right into the orbit of a black hole,

just for the sake of discovery. That's amazing!

Do you hear me? Amazing. All of you.

The captain, his officer, his elder, his juniors, his friends.

All with one advantage, the Beast is alone, we are not.

If we can use that to fight against him...

The cable's snapped!

Get out!

Doctor, we lost the cable. Doctor, are you all right?

Doctor?

- Comms are down. - Doctor, can you hear me?

I've still got life-signs, but we've lost the capsule.

- Say something! Are you there? - There's no way out.

They're stuck down there.

How much air have we got?

Sixty minutes.

Fifty-five.

But we've got to bring them back.

They're ten miles down. We haven't got another ten miles of cable.

Captain, situation report?

It's the Ood. They're cutting through the door bolts. They're breaking in.

- Yes. Same on door 25. - How long is it gonna take?

Well, it's only a basic frame. Should take ten minutes.

Eight.

I've got a security frame, might last a bit longer but that doesn't help you.

Right. So we need to stop them or get out or both.

I'll take both, yeah? But how?

You heard the Doctor. Why do you think that thing cut him off?

'Cause he was making sense.

He was telling you to think your way out of this.

Come on! For starters, we need some lights.

Zack, there's got to be some sort of power somewhere.

There's nothing I can do. Some captain! Stuck in here, pressing buttons.

That's what the Doctor meant. Press the right buttons.

They've gutted the generators.

But the rocket's got an independent supply.

If I could reroute that...

Mr Jefferson, open the bypass conduits.

Overrlde the safety.

Opening bypass conduits, sir.

Channelling rocket feed.

In three, two, one.

Power.

There we go!

- Let there be light! - What about that strategy nine thing?

Not enough power, needs 100 percent.

Right, we need a way out. Zack, Mr Jefferson, you start working on that.

- Toby, what about you? - I'm not a soldier. I can't do anything.

No, you're the archaeologist. What do you know about the Pit?

Nothing, we can't even translate the language.

- Right. - Hold on. Maybe...

What is it?

Since that thing was inside my head, it's like the letters make more sense.

Well, get to work. Anything you can translate, just, anything.

As for you, Danny boy, you're in charge of the Ood.

- Any way of stopping them? - Well, I don't know.

Then find out. The sooner we get control of the base,

the sooner we can get the Doctor out. Now get going. Shift.

We've got all this cable. We might as well use it.

The drum is disconnected. We could adapt it.

Feed it through.

And then what?

Abseil into the Pit.

Abseil. Right.

We're running out of air with no way back. It's the only thing we can do,

even if it's the last thing we ever achieve.

I'll get back. Rose is up there.

Well, maybe the key to that is finding out what's in the Pit.

Well, it's half of a good plan.

What's the other half?

I go down, not you.

Open junctions five, six, seven.

Reroute filters 16 to 24. Go.

There's all sorts of viruses that could stop the Ood.

Trouble is, we haven't got them on board.

Well, that's handy, listing things we haven't got.

We haven't got a swimming pool either, or a Tesco's.

Oh, my God. It says yes! I can do it!

Hypothetically, if you flip the monitor,

broadcast a flare, it can disrupt the telepathy. Brainstorm!

- What happens to the Ood? - It'll tank them, spark-out!

There we are, then. Do it!

I know, but...

I'd have to transmit from the central monitor.

We need to go to Ood Habitation.

That's what we'll do, then.

- Mr Jefferson, sir, any way out? - Just about.

There's a network of maintenance tunnels running underneath the base.

We should be able to gain access from here.

Ventilation shafts.

I appreciate the reference, but there's no ventilation.

No air, in fact, at all.

They were designed for machines, not life forms.

But I can manipulate the oxygen field from here,

create discrete pockets of atmosphere.

If I control it manually, I can follow you through the network.

Right. So we go down and you make the air follow us by hand?

You wanted me pressing buttons.

Yep, I asked for it. Okay, we need to get to Ood Habitation. Work out a route.

That should hold it. How's it going?

Fine. Should work.

Doesn't feel like such a good idea now.

Hmm. There it is again. That itch.

Go down, go down, go down, go down!

The urge to jump.

Do you know where it comes from, that sensation?

Genetic heritage. Ever since we were primates in the trees.

It's our body's way of testing us,

calculating whether or not we can reach the next branch.

No, that's not it. That's too kind.

It's not the urge to jump. It's deeper than that.

It's the urge to fall.

Doctor!

- You okay? - Not bad, thanks.

The wall of the Pit seems to be the same as the cavern,

just not much of it.

There's a crust about 20 feet down.

And then...

nothing, just the Pit.

Okay, then. Lower me down.

Well, here we go, then.

- Danny! - Hold on, just conforming.

Danny, we've got to go now. Come on.

There!

Put that in the monitor and it's a bad time to be an Ood!

We're coming back. We're coming back to this room

and we're getting the Doctor out.

Danny, you go first, then Miss Tyler, then Toby. I'll go last in defensive position.

Now come on, quick as you can!

God, it stinks. You all right?

Yeah, laughing. Which way do we go?

Just go straight ahead. Keep going till I say so.

Not your best angle, Danny.

Oi, stop it.

- Don't know, could be worse. - Oi!

Straight on till you find junction 7.1. Keep breathing.

I'm feeding you air. I've got you.

We're at 7.1, sir.

Okay, I've got you.

I'm just aerating the next section.

Getting kind of cramped, sir. Can't you hurry up?

- I'm working on half power here. - Stop complaining.

- Mr Jefferson said stop complaining. - I heard.

- He heard. - The air's getting a bit thin.

- He's complaining now. - I heard.

- Danny, is that you? - I'm not exactly happy.

I'm just moving the air. I've got to oxygenate the next section.

Now, keep calm or it's gonna feel worse.

- What was that? - Mr Jefferson, what was that?

- What was that noise? - Captain, what was that?

The junction in Habitation 5 has been opened. It must be the Ood.

- They're In the tunnels. - Open the gate.

- I've got to get the air in! - Just open It, slrl

- Where are they? Are they close? - I can't tell. I can't see them.

The computer doesn't register Ood as proper life forms.

Whose idea was that?

Open the gate!

Danny, turn left, immediate left!

The Ood, sir, can't you trap them? Cut off the air?

Not without cutting off yours.

Danny, turn right, go right.

Go faster. They're gonna catch up.

I'll maintain defensive position.

- You can't stop! - Miss Tyler, that's my job.

You've got your task, now see to it.

You heard what he said, now shift!

8.2, open 8.2!

Zack, open 8.2!

- I've got to aerate it. - Open it now!

I'm trying!

Danny, stop it. That's not helping!

Zack, get it open!

Jefferson, I've got to open 8.2 by closing 8.1.

You've got to get past the junction, now move!

That's an order, now move!

I'm gonna lose oxygen, Jefferson.

I can't stop the automatics!

That's it, come on, come on!

Danny, turn left and head for 9.2. That's the last one.

Jefferson, you've got to move fasterl

Johnl Movel Movel

- Mr Jefferson! Come on! - Keep going!

I regret to inform you, sir, I was a bit slow.

Not so fast these days.

I can't open 8.1, John. Not without losing air for the others.

And quite right, too, sir.

I think I bought them a little time.

There's nothlng I can do, John.

- I'm sorry. - You've done enough, sir.

Made a very good captain under the circumstances.

Might I ask, if you can't add oxygen to this section,

can you speed up the process of its removal?

I don't understand. What do you mean?

Well, if I might choose the manner of my departure, sir,

lack of air seems more natural than, well...

let's say, death by Ood.

I'd appreciate it, sir.

Godspeed, Mr Jefferson.

Thank you, sir.

Report. Officer John Maynard Jefferson, PKD...

deceased, with honours,

43K 2.1.

Zack, we're at the final junction.

9.2.

And, uh,

if my respects could be on record, he saved our lives.

Noted. Opening 9.2.

- Lower 9.2! Zack, lower it! - Back, back, back!

We can't go back. Look, 8.2's sealed off. We're stuck!

Come on! Up!

Come on. Toby, come on!

Toby, get out of there!

Help me. Oh, my God! Help me!

It's this way!

Hurry up!

- Get it in. - Danny, get it done.

- Transmit! - I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm getting it in...

Stop them!

Danny, get that thing transmitting.

You did it! We did it!

Yes! Oh, yes!

Zack, we did it. The Ood are down! Now we've got to get the Doctor.

I'm on my way.

You get representations of the horned beast

right across the universe,

in the myths and legends of a million worlds.

Earth, Draconia, Vel Consadine.

Daemos, the Kaled God of War. It's the same image over and over again.

Maybe that idea came from somewhere,

bleeding through.

A thought at the back of every sentient mind.

- Emanating from here? - Could be.

But if this is the original,

does that make it real?

Does that make it the actual Devil, though?

Well, if that's what you want to believe.

Maybe that's what the Devil is in the end, an idea.

That's it.

That's all we've got.

You getting any sort of read out?

Nothing.

Could be miles to go yet.

Or it could be 30 feet. There's no way of telling.

I could survive 30 feet.

Oh, no, you don't. I'm pulling you back up.

What are you doing?

You bring me back, we're just gonna sit there and run out of air.

- I've got to go down. - But you can't.

Doctor, you can't!

Call it an act of faith.

I don't want to die on my own.

I know.

Doctor, are you there? Doctor, Ida, can you hear me?

The comms are still down.

I can patch them through the central desk and boost the signal.

Just give me a minute.

I didn't ask. Have you got any sort of faith?

Not really.

I was brought up Neo-Classic Congregational.

Because of my mum, she was...

My old mum.

But, no, I never believed.

Neo-Classics. Have they got a devil?

No, not as such. Just, um...

the things that men do.

Same thing in the end.

What about you?

I believe... I believe I haven't seen everything, I don't know.

It's funny, isn't it?

The things you make up, the rules.

If that thing had said it came from beyond the universe, I'd believe it.

But before the universe?

Impossible.

Doesn't fit my rule.

Still, that's why I keep travelling.

To be proved wrong.

Thank you, Ida.

Don't go!

If they get back in touch...

If you talk to Rose, just tell her...

Tell her...

Oh, she knows.

- Doctor, are you there? - Doctor, Ida, can you hear me?

Are you there, Doctor?

He's gone.

What do you mean, he's gone?

He fell...

into the Pit.

And I don't know how deep it is, miles and miles and miles.

What do you mean, he fell?

I couldn't stop him.

He said your name.

I'm sorry.

Ida?

There's no way of reaching you. No cable, no backup.

You're ten miles down. We can't get there.

You should see this place, Zack.

It's beautiful.

I wanted to discover things,

and here I am.

We've got to abandon the base.

I'm declaring this mission unsafe.

All we can do is make sure no one ever comes here again.

But we'll never find out what it was.

- Well, maybe that's best. - Yeah.

- Officer Scott... - It's all right.

Just go.

Good luck.

And you.

Danny, Toby, close down the feed-links. Get the retrotopes online.

Then get to the rocket and strap yourselves in. We're leaving.

I'm not going.

Rose, there's space for you.

No, I'm gonna wait for the Doctor, just like he'd wait for me.

I'm sorry, but he's dead.

You don't know him.

'Cause he's not.

I'm telling you, he's not.

And even if he was, how could I leave him

all on his own, all the way down there?

No, I'm... I'm gonna stay.

Then I apologise for this.

Danny, Toby, make her secure.

No! No! No! Stop! No! Let me go!

Get off me! I'm not leaving! No!

I have lost too many people. I am not leaving you behind.

Let's get her on board.

- Did that one just move? - It's the telepathic field.

- It's reasserting itself! - Move it. Get to the rocket! Move!

I'm breathing.

Air cushion to support the fall.

You can breathe down here, Ida.

Can you hear me, Ida?

Dislocating B clamp, C clamp. Raising Blu-Nitro to maximum.

- Toby, how's the Negapact feed-line? - Clear, ready to go, sir.

For God's sake, get us out of here!

Captain, I think we're gonna have a problem passenger.

Keep an eye on her.

- It's all right, Rose. We're safe. - I'm not going anywhere!

Get me out of this thing. Get me out!

And liftoff!

The rocket.

Take me back to the planet.

- Take me back! - Or what?

Or I'll shoot.

Would you, though? Would you really?

Is that what your Doctor would want?

I'm sorry, but it's too late anyway. Take a look outside. We can't turn back.

This is what the Doctor would have wanted. Isn't that right?

History of some big battle. Man against Beast.

I don't know if you're getting this, Ida. Hope so.

Anyway, they defeated the Beast and imprisoned it.

And maybe that's the key.

Or the gate or the bars.

What's the joke?

Just... We made it. We escaped.

- We actually did it. - Not all of us.

We're not out of it yet.

We're still the first people in history to fly away from a black hole.

Toby, read me the stats.

Gravity funnel holding, sir. Oh, it's holding.

I accept that you exist.

I don't have to accept what you are. But your physical existence, I give you that.

I don't understand.

I was expected down here.

I was given a safe landing and air.

You need me for something. What for?

Have I got to...

I don't know, beg an audience or... Is there a ritual?

Some sort of incantation or summons or spell?

All these things I don't believe in, are they real?

Speak to me! Tell me!

You won't talk or you can't talk.

Hold on, hold on. Wait a minute. Just let me...

Oh! No. Yes! No.

Think it through. You spoke before, I heard your voice.

An intelligent voice. No, more than that. Brilliant!

But looking at you now, all I can see...

is beast.

The animal, just the body.

You're just the body, the physical form.

What's happened to your mind, hmm?

Where's it gone? Where's that intelligence?

Oh, no.

Stats at 53. Funnel stable at 66.5. Hull pressure constant.

Smooth as we can, sir. All the way back home.

Coordinates set for planet Earth.

You were imprisoned a long time ago.

Before the universe, after, sideways, in between, it doesn't matter.

The prison is perfect.

It's absolute. It's eternal. Oh, yes!

Open the prison, the gravity field collapses.

This planet falls into the black hole.

You escape, you die. Brilliant!

But that's just the body. The body is trapped, that's all.

The Devil is an idea. In all those civilisations, just an idea.

But an idea is hard to kill.

An idea can escape.

The mind, the mind of the great Beast, the mind can escape.

Oh, but that's it! You didn't give me air, your jailers did!

They set this up all those years ago.

They need me alive.

Because if you're escaping, then I've got to stop you!

If I destroy your prison, your body is destroyed,

your mind with it.

But then you're clever enough to use this whole system against me.

If I destroy this planet, I destroy the gravity field.

The rocket.

The rocket loses protection, falls into the black hole.

I have to sacrifice Rose.

It doesn't make sense.

We escaped, but there's a thousand ways it could have killed us.

It could have ripped out the air

or, I don't know, burnt us or anything.

But it let us go. Why?

- Unless it wanted us to escape. - Hey, Rose, do us a favour.

Shut up.

Almost there. We're beyond the reach of the black hole in 40, 39...

So that's the trap

or the test or the final judgement, I don't know.

But if I kill you, I kill her.

Except that implies

in this big, grand scheme of gods and devils,

that she is just a victim.

But I've seen a lot of this universe.

I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demigods and would-be gods,

and out of all that, out of that whole pantheon,

if I believe in one thing, just one thing,

I believe in her.

- What happened? What was that? - What's he doing?

- We've lost the funnel! Gravity collapse! - What does that mean?

We can't escape. We're heading straight for the black hole.

This is your freedom! Free to die!

You're going into that black hole and I'm riding with you!

It's the planet. The planet's moving.

It's falling.

- I'm the rage and the bile and the ferocity! - It's Toby!

I am the prince and the fool and the agony!

- I'm the sin and the fear and the darkness! - It's him!

Stay where you are. The ship's not stable. What is he? What the hell is he?

I shall never die! The thought of me is forever.

In the bleeding hearts of men, in their vanity and obsession and lust!

Nothing shall ever destroy me. Nothing.

Go to hell.

Emergency shield!

We've still lost the gravity funnel. We can't escape the black hole.

But we stopped him. That's what the Doctor would have done.

Some victory.

We're going in.

The planet's lost orbit. It's falling!

The planet's gone.

- I'm sorry. - Accelerate.

I did my best.

But, hey, the first human beings to fall inside a black hole.

How about that?

History.

What happened?

We're turning.

We're turning around. We're turning away!

Sorry about the hljack, Captaln.

Thls Is the good shlp Tardls.

First things first, have you got a Rose Tyler on board?

I'm here! It's me! Oh, my God! Where are you?

I'm just towlng you home. Gravlty-shmavlty.

My people practically invented black holes. Well, in fact, they did.

Couple of minutes, we'll be nice and safe. Oh, and Captain, can we do a swap?

Say, if you give me Rose Tyler, I'll give you Ida Scott. How about that?

- She's alive! - Yes. Thank you, God.

Bit of oxygen starvation, but she should be all right.

I couldn't save the Ood.

I only had time for one trip.

They went down wlth the planet.

Entering clear space. End of the line.

Mission closed.

I don't know. I can't remember.

Well, it looked like a box.

What do you mean, a box?

Well, down in the hold, a big blue box.

It just appeared. I don't know.

- Zack, we'll be off now. - Have a good trlp home.

And the next time you get curious about something...

Oh, what's the point? You'll just go blundering in.

The human race!

But, Doctor, what did you find down there?

That creature, what was it?

I don't know. Never did decipher that writing.

But that's good.

The day I know everything, I might as well stop.

What do you think it was, really?

I think we beat it. That's good enough for me.

It said I was going to die in battle.

Then it lied.

Right! Onwards, upwards. Ida, see you again maybe.

I hope so.

And thanks, boys!

Hang on though, Doctor, you never really said.

You two, who are you?

Oh, the stuff of legend.

This is the final report of Sanctuary Base 6.

Officer Tobias Zed, deceased, with honours.

43K 2.1.

Also, Ood 1 Alpha 1,

deceased, with honours.

Ood 1 Alpha 2, deceased, wlth honours...

Lights!

I am your salvation.

The sound of the universe.

What does it mean?

- His name is the Doctor. - Doctor what?

Find me that girl!

Here we are, complete strangers, and I'm flashing you my knickers.

One step closer to catchlng the Doctor.

Don't I know you?

- Doctor! Doctor, look out! - Doctor, he's going! Quick!

- Where's he gone? - Do you see him?

- There he is. Stop! No! - Where is he?

- Watch out! - Where?

That's what it did, it went...

And if you think that was the most exciting day of my life,

wait till you hear the rest.

Oh, boy.

So there I was, with that thing going...

Here, boy. Eat the food. Come on. Look at the lovely food, isn't that nice?

Isn't it? Yes, it is! Get out of here, quickly.

- That's a boy! - Who'd like a porky choppy, then?

I said run!

- Wrong one! You made it worse! - You said blue.

I said not blue!

Hold on.

Hold on.

Don't I know you?

You can't Imaglne It, the Doctor's machlne.

The most beautlful sound In the world.

That wasn't the first time I met the Doctor and it certainly wasn't the last.

Oh, no.

I just put that bit at the beginning because it's a brilliant opening.

But this is the story of me

and my encounters with alien life forms.

But be warned! Because it is gonna get scary.

I need a remote control zoom.

I'm having to do that with a lean, the scary. Anyway.

But don't worry 'cause it's not just me sitting here talking. Oh, no.

- That's Ursula on camera. - Hello.

My good friend Ursula Blake on my brand-new camera.

That was my family home, down there.

I did try but there's two women live there now.

They're a bit severe. So, never mind.

But that is where it all started 'cause that's when I first met the Doctor.

What was It? I must've been three or four years old.

Mlddle of the nlght I went downstalrs,

and there was thls man.

- So what happened? Elton? - Tell me, why was he there?

I don't know. I still don't know.

All those years ago.

Okay, first things first.

My name is Elton, not to be confused with...

I left school, I got a job, transport manager at Rita Logistics,

modest little haulage company, perfectly normal life, and then...

it all went mad!

- Two years ago I was In town, - I was stocklng up,

you know, nothlng speclal, all the usual stuff.

When all of a sudden...

Shop-window dummies come to life.

I survived, obviously.

Twelve months later, I'm back In town. I'm up West looklng for a new sult,

somethlng nlce and smart, when I hear thls plane overhead...

But it wasn't over yet. 'Cause then, Christmas Day.

I'm In bed, fast asleep, nlce and cosy, 7:45 In the mornlng,

when all of a sudden...

And I'm stuck in bed, all right, 'cause there's glass everywhere,

and I was barefoot.

I had to Invent thls rudlmentary pulley system

just to reach my boots, and by the tlme I'd done that...

And that's when it all started happening. That's how I met Ursula.

His name is the Doctor.

- That's how I met Victor Kennedy. - You stupid man!

- That's how I met Jackie Tyler. - You don't meet many Eltons.

And that's how I finally met the Doctor.

And realised the truth.

I should say this isn't, you know, my whole life.

It's not all spaceships and stuff.

'Cause I'm into all sorts of things. I like football.

I like a drink. I like Spain.

And if there's one thing I really, really love,

then it's Jeff Lynne and the Electric Light Orchestra.

'Cause you can't beat a bit of ELO.

So, great big spaceship hanging over London, imagine the theories.

The Internet went Into meltdown.

But I kept on dlgglng. Somethlng was golng on. Oh, yes.

And then one day, on some obscure little blog

by someone called Ursula Blake. It was, like, chance in a million.

It was hlm, It was that man agaln.

But the photo was new. It was taken on Chrlstmas Day,

but Chrlstmas just gone, and he looked exactly the same.

His name is the Doctor.

- Doctor what? - That's all anyone knows.

At Christmas Day, I was taking photos all over the place.

I went mad with it all, spaceships and lasers and everything.

We all went to Trafalgar Square that night

'cause everyone was celebrating just being alive,

and I snapped him in passing, that's all. He was just some bloke.

I didn't realise he was significant until Mr Skinner pointed it out.

Who's Mr Skinner?

Oh, there's a few of us. The inner sanctum.

All studying this Doctor.

I've seen him, the Doctor, I swear to you. I saw him when I was a kid.

He was in my house and he was downstairs.

Don't tell me, he looked exactly the same then as he does now.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, my God, you believe me.

I'm not the only one...

- So that's how I met Ursula. - All thanks to the Doctor.

Turns out we read all the same sltes and she only Ilved half a mlle away.

She was Ilke a proper mate. Poor Ursula.

But like she said, there was this little community,

the select few, all with their stories of the Doctor.

Thls Ilttle gang used to meet up

underneath the old Ilbrary on Maccateer Street.

Mr Sklnner, flrst name Colln, but we always called hlm Mr Sklnner.

I don't know why, we just dld.

...to me, the Doctor isn't a man,

he's more a collection of archetypes.

Then there was Brldget.

...all these different Doctors come and go,

but the single constant factor is this faux police box.

It keeps cropping up throughout history.

She Ilved way up north,

but she travelled down wlthout fall just for the meetlngs.

Then there was BIIss.

What I'm trying to do is sum up the Doctor. What he means to us.

- She was ever so sweet, BIIss. - Bless BIIss, we used to say.

What he could represent and what he should represent

and what he never won't represent

sort of thing.

We should have a name. You know, as a group.

Names are very important.

What we need is a good, strong name, like a team. Something like...

London Investigation 'N' Detective Agency.

- LINDA for short. - Say it again?

London Investigation 'N' Detective Agency.

- "N"? - Fish 'n' chips.

Rock 'n' roll. Chaka Demus 'n' Pliers.

Ah!

- LINDA, I like it. It's not too solemn. - I like the 'N'.

- We're the men from LINDA. - And the women.

LINDA united.

Did you think of that on the spot?

No, I've wanted to use it for years.

I give you LINDA.

LINDA!

So we'd all meet up every week

and we'd talk about the Doctor for a bit. But after a while, Bridget started cooking.

Oh, my God, that's gorgeous! No, really. Wow.

The rest of you, get your hands off!

- Next thlng you know, - Mr Sklnner started hls readlngs,

'cause he was wrltlng hls own novel.

"That's the last time you ride the Ghost Train, Johnny Franzetta.

"Now say your prayers!"

To be continued.

No!

Tlme went on. We got to know each other better and better.

I only started all this because my daughter disappeared.

But it wasn't aliens that took her away. It was just drugs.

I come down to London every week and I just keep looking for her.

Oh, Bridget.

# I gave my love a chicken

# It had no bone

# I gave my love a cherry

# It had no stone #

# I've got a brand-new pair of roller skates

# You've got a brand-new key #

Then It turned out that Brldget could play the plano,

and I confessed my love of ELO.

Next thing you know, musical LINDA.

# You got me running Going out of my mind

# You got me thinking that I'm wasting my time

# Don't bring me down #

Just for fun.

# Don't bring me down

# Grroosss

# Don't bring me down

# Grroosss #

You go.

Now, careful. Mind the cables

And that's when It all changed.

That Tuesday nlght In March. That's when he arrlved.

Lights.

- That's when we met - Vlctor Kennedy.

And the golden age was gone.

So, we meet at last, LINDA.

Pleased to meet you, sir. I'm sorry, was the music too loud?

No, no, no. I don't shake hands. Back, back. I suffer from a skin complaint.

- Eczeema. - Oh, you mean eczema.

Oh, this is worse, much worse. I blister to the touch.

Back, back, all of you, further, further. Thank you.

Sorry, don't mind me asking, but who are you?

I am your salvation.

- That's the Doctor. - That's really him.

Forgotten your purpose in life. You, with your band and your cakes

and your blubbing, and all the while he still exists, the Doctor.

Look at him. Just look!

Move back, move back, all of you. Hold on, wait for this bit.

The picture cuts out, but the sound still continues.

Listen.

Listen to the sound of the universe.

Yes.

Oh, that's...

- What is it? What's wrong? - Leave him!

You've heard it before, haven't you?

When? When was it? Where? Where were you?

I'd forgotten. Till now.

But it was that night.

What night?

I was just a kid.

That's why I went downstairs, it woke me up.

That noise.

But what is it? What does it mean?

That is the sound of his spaceship.

- Right then, homework! - Using the Torchwood files,

we're able to look at all the old databases in a completely new light.

We're able to build up a more detailed profile of the Doctor.

I've allocated tasks to each of you. I'd like you to...

Careful, watch the eczeema.

I would like you to complete your targets and meet back here this time next week,

one step closer to catching the Doctor.

Well, don't just sit there! Move!

Um, Bliss? It is Bliss, isn't it?

- Yeah. - Yes.

Could I have a word with you in private, please?

- Course you can, yeah. - Thank you.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Better get to work. Lots to do.

I never thought of it as work.

It's what we've always wanted, though. To find the Doctor.

Yeah, I suppose.

All of a sudden, without anyone saying so, we were working for Victor Kennedy.

- But we had to admlt, he was rlght. - Hls methods were much more rlgorous.

It felt Ilke we were gettlng closer and closer to the Doctor.

- Mr Kennedy? - Yes.

We were wondering...

No sign of Bliss. Do you know where she is?

Yes. Didn't she tell you? She's getting married.

She left a message. It'll never last. Stupid girl.

Come on, back to work!

But we did get lucky once.

A police box, newly arrived. It says newly arrived today.

It's in Woolwich.

Well, don't just stand there! Move! Move! Go! Go!

But don't get excited. That's where you came in.

Woolwlch, pollce box, red bucket, blue bucket,

me so stupld, etcetera.

- Useless! - I just froze.

You met him and you froze?

- You stupid man! - You can't hit me 'cause you don't touch.

- You get a rash and an itch and everything. - I can use this!

Use that cane on him and you'll get one hell of a smack off me.

And then a good kick.

Is that completely understood, Mr Kennedy?

Duly noted.

Ursula Blake, most likely to fight back.

Right then, we'll change tack. We'll approach this sideways.

If we're to discover the truth about the Doctor,

then we need to try and find her.

Now, when it comes to the Doctor's companion,

the Torchwood files are strangely lacking.

It seems the evidence has been corrupted, something called Bad Wolf virus.

At least we've got these photographs.

They're first-hand evidence. Elton?

It was a London accent, definitely. She's from London.

So we hit the streets. We get out there. We take the photograph.

Someone's got to know who she is somewhere.

But London's a big place. I should know, my own daughter's out there.

Bridget, don't make this personal.

I don't like to be touched literally or metaphorically, thank you very much.

I haven't got the time. Bleeding hearts, outside.

Find me that girl! Go! Now! Move!

And so It began, the Imposslble task.

To scour the mean streets.

To search a major capltal clty for an unknown glrl.

To hunt down that face In a seethlng metropolls of lost souls.

To flnd that one glrl In ten mllllon.

Oh, that's Rose Tyler. She lives just down there.

Bucknall House, number 48. Her mother's Jackie Tyler.

Nice family, bit odd.

Oi, Jackie!

Hello, sweetheart. I'll see you down the Spinning Wheel tonight, yeah?

Pub quiz. Get them in!

All right.

I'd been tralned for thls.

Vlctor Kennedy's classes covered baslc survelllance and esplonage.

Step one, engage your target.

Flnd some excuse to start a conversatlon.

But how was I golng to do thls? How?

Excuse me, luv, you couldn't give us a quid for two fifties, could you?

Yeah. Just...

Oh, lovely. Cheers.

Step two, wlthout provoklng susplclon,

get on flrst-name terms wlth the target.

My name's Jackie, by the way.

I'm Elton.

Oh, you don't meet many Eltons, do you? Apart from the obvious.

Step three,

Ingratlate yourself wlth a joke or some humorous devlce.

I tell you what, Elton. Here we are complete strangers

and I'm flashing you my knickers.

Step four, flnd some subtle way

to Integrate yourself Into the target's household.

Mind you, I'm only down here 'cause my washing machine's knackered.

I don't suppose you're any good at fixing things, are you?

Here we are. It was the fuse.

There's nothing wrong with the machine. That's fine, all working.

Oh, Elton, I should have you on tap.

I used to have this little mate called Mickey, he did all that stuff.

He's gone now, bless him.

Well, if you need me, give us a call. I'll jot down my number.

You do that and I'll make us a cup of tea.

Go on, go and sit down.

Put the telly on if you want. I can't bear it silent.

It's just me these days, rattling about.

There's my daughter, but she's gone travelling.

I keep her bedroom all nice and ready though,

just in case she comes back.

- And her name is? - Rose.

That's a nice name, Rose.

- So, where is she travelling? - All over.

She's got her mobile. I get a call now and then.

Not as often as I'd like.

Still, at that age, who can be bothered phoning home?

Yeah.

Who's she with? Is it mates, is it? Or...

Just mates, yeah.

Well, if I had you making a nice cup of tea like this,

I wouldn't stray far from home.

You're a charmer. Say it again.

Magnificent! Oh, I could kiss you! Except I can't, of course. The eczeema.

- I've even got a picture of her on my phone. - That's amazing.

You've achieved steps one to four in precise order. How did you manage it?

I had to work very hard. She keeps everything very close to her chest.

That's a hell of a chest.

But how do you move on? Step five, that's the problem.

Step five. That's this week's homework.

I want a full plan of attack from each of you.

Now, go on! Vamoose! Avanti! There's work to do.

And, Elton, keep infiltrating.

You will do anything to get that information, boy, anything.

Yes, sir.

Oh... Oh, Bridget. Bridget? Oh, yes.

Could I have a word with you in private, please?

Mr Skinner's giving me a lift.

Oh, I can drop you at the station. I'm sure Mr Skinner won't mind, will you?

Not at all.

- All right, Bridget, I'll see you next week. - All right, then.

Bye-bye.

Now, Mr Skinner, I don't mean to pry,

but did you give Bridget a little kiss back there?

I think I did.

And if you get your way, might there be more little kisses between the two of you?

I think there might.

- I knew it! - That's brilliant.

Now, let's not get excited. We'll see.

Inflltratlon went well 'cause Jackle kept phonlng up,

needlng thls and needlng that.

It was strange, the amount of thlngs that needed dolng.

It's Ilke that flat was jlnxed.

It's weird, these fuses, they keep on blowing.

You must be near a substation 'cause then you get the power surges.

Still, there we go. Fixed!

Here we are. A little reward for my favourite handyman.

I shouldn't really, I've got the car outside.

You could always splash out on a taxi, or whatever.

See what happens.

Right.

- Cheers. - Cheers!

- Very nice. What's that, French? - I suppose so.

They know how to do things, the French.

Is it from Rose? I mean, is she in France?

My daughter won't be coming back tonight,

just in case you're wondering. We've got the place to ourselves.

Right.

- Nice music. - II Divo.

Yeah.

You were saying... Power surges.

- From the substation, yeah. - Is that why it gets so hot in here?

- Is it hot? - Oh, I think so.

- You should take your jacket off. - No, I'm fine.

No, look, you must be boiling.

Oh, look at your shirt! Sorry!

I'm fine, it's all right.

- I've ruined it. - No, honestly, it's fine.

- Take it off, I'll put it in the wash. - Oh, come on, it's only a little drop.

Oops.

There now.

Ruined.

And there I was, the ultlmate step flve.

The perfect Inflltratlon.

Target, Jackle Tyler.

Attaboy!

You're right, it is a bit hot, but it's about to get hotter.

I'll see you soon. All right, be careful. Bye.

- Everything all right? - That was my daughter.

Oh, look at you. I'm sorry. I was just being stupid.

- Is she okay? - She's so far away.

I get left here sometimes

and I don't know where she is.

Anything could be happening to her, anything.

And I just go a bit mad.

Oh, put your shirt back on.

Where is she?

Doesn't matter.

I'm sorry. You better go.

Actually...

And that's when It struck me.

Funny the thlngs you thlnk of wlth your shlrt off.

But that's when I reallsed what was really Important.

Never mind about Rose. I'm not even gonna ask.

And I will put my shirt back on

because I'm gonna go out and get us both a pizza.

'Cause I reckon you need cheering up.

She goes swanning off and who's left to care about you, eh?

So I say, nice bit of pizza. We'll put the telly on nice and loud,

we'll annoy that woman next door, just you and me, as proper mates.

Yeah? Mates.

Go on, say yes.

Yes.

All of a sudden, a lot of thlngs made sense.

I'd got so lost In consplracles and allens and targets,

I'd been mlsslng the obvlous.

'Cause I dld Ilke Jackle,

but I Ilked someone else even more.

Right. Let's get inside, then. The pizza's getting cold.

I went in your coat.

For once in my life I thought, "I'll pay." I thought, "He's such a nice man,

"he won't accept anything so I'll just slip a tenner in his pocket."

And look what I found.

A photograph of my daughter.

No, no, no. It's not like that. I can explain.

- I bet you can. - I wasn't being pervy or anything.

I wasn't after her.

- I was looking for the Doctor. - Oh, I know that.

I worked that out. 'Cause it's never me, is it?

No, but that's how it started, but I changed my mind.

Let me tell you something.

About those who get left behind. Because it's hard.

And that's what you become, hard.

But if there's one thing I've learnt, it's that I will never let her down

and I'll protect them both until the end of my life.

So whatever you want, I'm warning you, back off.

But, Jackie, I only wanted to meet him.

- I thought you liked me. - I do.

Just get out of here! I said get out!

And leave me alone!

She was right. It's shameful.

- We used that woman. - I knew I couldn't trust you!

You broke cover. You stupid little man, you failed step five.

I don't care about step five!

'Cause it's all gone wrong, Mr Kennedy, ever since you turned up.

We used to come here every week and we'd have a laugh.

We were friends.

No wonder they stopped coming. I mean, there's no Bliss anymore,

and even Bridget, she hasn't turned up.

I've been phoning and phoning, there's no reply.

Who can blame her? I'm sorry, Victor, but you're on your own,

'cause I am leaving and so are you, Mr Skinner.

And as for you, Ursula, you're coming with me.

And we're going to the Golden Locust and we're gonna have a Chinese.

- What's that got to do with it? - I mean, you and me. Together.

Having a meal. If you want.

Oh, I'd love it.

But you can't leave.

You'll never know what he was doing, the Doctor.

You'll never know what he was doing in your house all those years ago.

No, I'll never know.

Ursula, get your stuff. Mr Skinner, are you coming?

Not to the Chinese if you don't mind. Just sort of walking out.

I certainly am.

Victor, good luck. Goodbye.

Mr Skinner, would you stay for a minute, please?

We're walking out.

I've got numbers for Bridget. I've kept records. I've got old numbers.

We could track her down together, you and I.

That's more like the old team spirit.

You two have a nice time.

- I hope you find her. - I'll email you.

Just come a little closer.

- I love prawns. Crispy aromatic duck. - Do you?

Oh, I left my phone.

- Really? - Yeah.

It's not in my pocket.

- So much for the big exit. - Yeah.

Come on, hurry up.

I'm not stopping, I just left my... phone.

- Victor? - Take your phone and go.

Where's Mr Skinner?

He's gone to the toilet.

But we haven't got toilets, we have to use the pub on the corner.

Well, that's where he is, then.

Help me!

- What was that? - It was nothing. It was nothing!

- Help me! - Shut up!

That's Mr Skinner.

Victor, look at your hands.

Look at the rest of me.

You've dabbled with aliens, now meet the genuine article.

Oh, my God!

- You're a thing. - A thing?

This thing is my true form.

Better than that crude pink shape you call a body.

What happened? Where am I? Ursula, is that you?

That's Mr Skinner. What have you done to him?

I've absorbed him.

- Colin? Is that you? Colin? - Bridget, my love.

Oh, my God! That's Bridget.

- Colin, where are you? - I'm here, Bridget. It's all right, I'm close.

You've absorbed them both.

What about Bliss? Where is she?

What?

I said you really don't want to know.

You've absorbed them. You're some sort of absorbathon!

An absorbaling.

- An Abzorbaloff. - Yes, I like that.

Let them go. I'm ordering you.

- Let those people go. - Oh, but they taste so sweet.

Just think about the Doctor. Ooh, how will he taste!

All that experience, all that knowledge.

And if I've got to absorb Jackie Tyler to get to him, then so be it.

Don't you dare!

If I have to beat them out of you!

Oh! Oh! No, no, please don't hit me!

Look at me, I'm such a slow and clumsy beast.

Please don't hit me.

Well, then. Give them back.

What, you mean like this?

Just one touch! That's all it takes!

No. Oh, no, no.

- No! - No!

- Leave her alone! - Don't touch me.

Oh, Elton.

I'm so sorry you can't touch me.

Ursula.

Most likely to fight back indeed.

Leave her alone!

Yes!

No, that's not fair!

She tastes like chicken.

Elton, where are you?

Please. Mr Kennedy, please.

I'm asking you.

I'm begging you, give her back to me.

I can't.

Once they've been absorbed, the process is irreversible.

Wait a minute. Now I've been absorbed, I can read his thoughts.

Oh, my God! Elton, you're next.

Get out of here.

Now you've seen him, he can't let you go.

Just run. Go on, never mind me. Get out!

Isn't she the clever one?

- Run, Elton! Run! - Save yourself, boy!

Run for your life!

Oh, what's the matter? Have you given up so soon?

There's no point. Where would I go?

- Everything I ever wanted... - Has been absorbed.

Oh, Elton. Don't say that.

- But it's true. - Then join us. Join us, little man.

Come on.

It's everlasting peace. Come on, join us.

Dissolve into me.

Someone wants a word with you.

You upset my mum.

A great big absorbing creature from outer space

- and you're having a go at me? - No one upsets my mum.

At last. The greatest feast of all, the Doctor.

Interesting. A sort of absorbatrix...

- Absorbaklon... Abzorbaloff... - Abzorbaloff, yes!

Is it me or is he a bit Slitheen?

- Not from Rexicoricophalvitorius, are you? - No. I'm not that swine!

I spit on them! I was born on their twin planet.

Really? What's the twin planet of Rexicoricophalvitorius?

- Clom. - Clom?

Clom. Yes, and I'll return there victorious,

once I possess your travelling machine.

- Well, that's never gonna happen. - Oh, it will.

You'll surrender yourself to me, Doctor, or this one dies.

You see, I've read about you, Doctor. I've studied you. So passionate.

So sweet. You wouldn't let an innocent man die.

And I'll absorb him unless you give yourself to me.

Sweet, maybe. Passionate, I suppose. But don't ever mistake that for nice.

Do what you want.

- He'll die, Doctor. - Go on, then.

So be it.

Mind you, the others might have something to say.

- Others? - He's right!

The Doctor's right! We can't let him.

Oh, Mr Skinner.

- Bridget, pull! For God's sake, pull! - No! No!

If it's the last thing we ever do.

Bliss! All of us, together, come on!

- Pull! LINDA united! - Stop it! Stop!

Pull!

Elton! The cane, break it!

My cane! You stupid man!

- What did I do? - The cane created a limitation field.

Now it's broken, he can't stop. The absorber is being absorbed.

By what?

By the Earth.

Bye-bye, Elton.

Bye-bye.

Who was she?

That was Ursula.

And that's it.

Almost. Because the Doctor still had more to say.

- You don't remember, do you? - And then he explained.

That night, all those years ago.

There was a shadow in your house.

A Ilvlng shadow In the darkness.

An elemental shade that had escaped from the Howllng Halls.

I stopped it, but I wasn't in time to save her.

I'm sorry.

Because that was the nlght my mother dled.

We forget because we must.

So, there you go.

Turns out I've had the most terrible things happen,

and the most brilliant things,

and sometimes, well, I can't tell the difference.

They're all the same thing. They're just me.

You know, Stephen King said once, he said,

"Salvation and damnation are the same thing."

And I never knew what he meant.

But I do now.

'Cause the Doctor might be wonderful, but thinking back,

I was having such a special time, just for a bit.

I had this nice little gang.

And they were destroyed.

It's not his fault.

But maybe that's what happens if you touch the Doctor,

even for a second.

I keep thinking of Rose and Jackie,

and how much longer before they pay the price.

Oh, now don't get all miserable.

- Come on, Elton. You've still got me. - Oh, yeah.

'Cause the Doctor said he could do one last thing with his magic wand.

If I can key into the absorption matrix and separate the last victim.

It's too late for total reconstruction, but...

Elton! Fetch a spade!

Even then, after all that,

the Doctor saved me one last time.

- Here she is. - Could be worse.

At least I'll never age. And it really is quite peaceful. You'd be surprised.

It's a relationship of sorts. But we manage.

- We've even got a bit of a love life. - Oh, let's not go into that.

And I don't care what anyone thinks,

I love her.

Oh.

But the thing is...

There you are, I even bought a remote zoom.

But what I wanted to say is,

you know, when you're a kid,

they tell you that it's all grow up, get a job,

get married, get a house, have a kid and that's it.

But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that.

It's so much darker and so much madder.

And so much better.

- 30th Olympiad. - That's great!

- They're not safe. - They're in the garden.

Get them in, I'm begging you.

In the last six days, three of your children have been stolen.

We need to find the source of that power.

These? They're kids' pictures. Now get out!

Chloe has a power.

- She's using it to snatch the kids. - Get out!

If living things can become drawings,

then maybe drawings can become living things.

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