Original subtitles

You ladies have a nice day?

- I did. What did I do?

I worked out this morning,

and I'm tired from working out.

- Me too. That's all I did.

- Hey! - Hello, everyone.

- How are you? - Hi.

- Hello, guys. - Hello.

- Are you okay?

- Teddi, why don't you fill everyone in?

- You want to bring everybody in?

You go ahead and tell it however you'd like.

[intense music]

You pretending that it's full amnesia right now is confusing.

- Don't ever say I'm pretending,

'cause I'm not pretending. I'm telling you the truth;

I don't remember saying that.

Don't ever say that to me again.

♪ ♪

- I don't think you were badmouthing or bashing.

- Let me make this very clear.

Let me help you... - Okay.

- With your issues.

- What do you give a (BLEEP) what I have to say?

- Are you joking me?

- Don't ever, ever do that to me.

♪ ♪

- Teddi. - No.

- Teddi, you are not going...

Teddi, you are not going home.

- I'm out of here. Leave me alone.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [gasps]

Oh, hello.

- I feel like I've been transported

into, like, another time.

- Did you know that Marilyn Monroe lived here?

- No. - For three or four years.

- Well, where was that room when I needed...

- Right? Oh, you look cute.

- Thank you. - You look gorg.

- Thanks. So do you.

- Hi! Nice to see you. - Nice to see you too.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God, yay. - Hi, gorgeous.

- I'm so excited to see you.

Both: Hi!

- Oh, my God, thank you so much.

You look gorgeous. - You look beautiful.

- So do you.

- Did you just come from work?

- I did. - Awesome.

I love Eileen.

She just absolutely is a pillar of strength.

She says it the way it is.

And she did get me the job at "Y&R."

You know, like, how do you think I keep looking this way?

It's like every morning, I look into a mirror,

and I'm like, you know,

"You're 25. You're 25. You're 25."

You should try it.

- I have to go. Isn't she great?

- And she helped me through, like a real friend does.

What's going on? - Just working, you know?

Working, hanging out with my family,

and doing my thing.

- I feel the loss of Eileen in our group,

because she has been working like a fiend,

doing "Young & the Restless"

and "Days of Our Lives" at the same time.

And so guess who's the oldest in the group?

Lisa Vanderpump.

I just love that.

- Can I have an Arnold Palmer? - Arnold Palmer?

- Yes, please. Thank you.

- Could I just ge a very cold...

You know what I'm gonna say.

- Very cold, very dry glass of chardonnay.

- Yeah, or just white wine.

It doesn't have to be chardonnay.

- And some ice cubes too.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

- How are all the boys?

- Duke is back here.

He's doing the World Poker Tour,

his own little, like, 30-second gambling segment.

So he's learning from the ground up.

And then Vinny's back from college.

- And he's done with school? - He's done.

- So now you've only got... - How'd that happen?

- Your baby to get through. - Yes.

And now we're going into high school.

I have to know what's going on with the other chicks.

- We both wanted to move on with Dorit and move forward,

so we did, both of us.

- Yeah, we did.

- I had a talk with her.

- I'm sorry I'm laughing.

- I think we may be making progress.

- We're making progress. - You are?

- Yes. - Okay.

- She's open to it.

- So what happened? - Nothing.

- Nothing got weird? - Nothing got weird.

- Okay.

- No, it's been good.

- I don't know what's going on,

because nothing's weird.

- We are darn serious.

Like, I'm fine.

- Right. - We're okay.

- We're confused. - Things are fine for us.

- We're confused. - Hello?

- Eileen, I'm just as surprised as you are.

What's going on?

- So everything's good with you and Dorit?

- Pinch me. Pinch me. Pinch me.

- Yes. - Good.

- Here's the thing.

She and Dorit worked their thing out,

so she invited me down to go shopping.

- I swear to God I'm sexually aroused right now.

- I told you that!

I told you my dick got hard.

I'm telling you.

She and I put our differences aside.

I don't want to talk about it ever again.

- I feel the same way.

Luckily, Dorit and I connected.

We're both Cancers.

We both have big mouths.

We both like to talk a lot.

We both can't shut up.

And she's funny, and, you know,

I never thought I'd say this

in a million... ing years,

but here I am saying it.

- You know, you guys all sound so evolved.

You're just working it out.

- What the hell's gonna happen?

- The other shoe's gonna drop any minute.

- I don't know. Something always happens, but...

- It's gonna have to be a big, fat f'ing boot.

That's what's gonna happen.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Mo? - Dinner ready?

- Yeah. - Hey, Dad!

Do you want ice? - Yeah, my love.

- Look what I made for you. - What is that?

- If you don't know it is, that's a problem.

- They're gumballs?

- [laughs]

Honey, that's supposed to be falafel.

- It's a falafel.

- Here, I'm gonna... I'm gonna bring this over here.

- Yeah, bring it here. - Make life easier.

- For sure.

- Talk to me. What's happening?

Oh, I picked up some of this furniture...

I went furniture shopping with Faye today.

- Yeah? For the house here?

- Yes, I saw some gorgeous, like,

more modern-looking chandeliers for here.

- Yeah. - Well, if we stay.

Since I am renovating my house...

[hammer pounding]

My kids are gonna start moving out one by one

with all this hammering.

- I know.

- I wanted a little more of a modern, fresh feel.

So I saw a listing

on the Agency website.

So I said to my husband,

"I want to go see this house

just to look at their floors."

That's all I wanted to do.

And Mauricio and I both went together

and went, "Oh, my gosh."

- I never even thought

that I was gonna even be having a discussion about moving.

I mean, after everything that we've been doing and planning

and all the craziness, I'm not sure I want to move.

I got to be honest with you.

It's a real tough one for me.

Let's go through, like, pros and cons of both.

For me, this house is so me, and it's so comfortable.

I feel... - Safe.

- Happy. I feel safe.

I'm about to remodel it to, like, perfection,

to exactly what you want.

- Yeah, the con is living through that.

- But that's not a big deal. That passes.

- They said that could be four months.

That means six months, for sure.

We have to leave for a long time.

And then a part of me kind of thinks,

"Why are we doing all that

when this other home has everything we wanted anyway?"

- Right. - I have a confession.

- What? - I drive by it every day.

- [laughs]

- I'm always so set in my ways.

The fact that I'm even open

to moving to a new home feels like, "Okay,

"I'm making little changes about myself.

I'm gonna look at this like an adventure."

- I think what we should do

is go back there later on this week,

look at it again, spend some time.

What's your vote?

Hers is the only vote that matters.

- I want to move, because I get a chance

to reorganize my room.

[laughter]

I mean...

- So we should move our entire home

and our entire life

because you've made a mess of your room.

- Yeah.

- Got it.

Deal's done. There's the decision.

♪ ♪

- Hello.

- Hi, there. How can I help you today?

- I was hoping to get a pedicure for myself,

and then my friend wants a manicure.

- Great. I can totally take care of that.

- Hi.

Oh, these are fancy seats.

Hi. - Hi.

- How are you? I heard you've been sick also.

- I know. It's like...

It's crazy, right?

I definitely listen to my body,

and sometimes you feel a little bit sick

and you're like, "Oh, maybe a workout.

I'll sweat it out."

And then sometimes you're like, "No.

There's no moving here."

- I went to Whole Foods while I was in New York,

and I got everything you can possibly get.

And guess what? I still got sick.

- Yeah.

Have you seen anybody since you got back?

- I had dinner with Dorit the other night

for the first time by ourselves.

[laughs]

- And how was it? - It was fun.

It was really fun.

- You know, I was excited about seeing you and...

- Likewise. - Yeah.

- I was thinking I want to get everybody together

for drinks on Saturday so we can just catch up.

- Okay, good. Good to have you back.

- Thank you! Aw.

My God.

It's so lovely.

- Should we tongue now? - [screams]

- [laughs] - No!

You know, you weren't around last year,

but Dorit and I, you would never, ever

have expected us to be alone at a dinner table.

Were people doing coke in your bathroom?

- Oh, come on.

After you go through something like that,

all you can do is move on.

You know, I'm enjoying getting to know her

on a level that is not aggressive and negative.

And... you know?

- Do you think she's put it behind her?

- I mean, it seems like it.

- I think what I have a hard time

is when I feel like somebody thinks one thing

but something else is going on.

Um...

I'm feeling anxious

having this conversation with you right now.

- Are you? - It's nothing about you and I.

It's just something about that I've heard

in regards to you.

Um...

So after Vegas, I had a dinner

with PK and Dorit and my husband.

- Okay.

- Long and short is,

at that dinner, I said, you know,

"It seems like you and Lisa Rinna

have a good relationship."

And she and PK kind of went into, like,

a rehashing of your whole issues, you and her.

- Can I ask what they said?

- Essentially, as they're laying it out,

PK threw out there, like,

"I think Lisa Rinna could be schizophrenic or maybe"...

- Oh, he's already said that.

- Okay, so he...

- Oh, he's said that full out to many...

- So then he said that to Dorit.

- Yeah.

- And at the end of the conversation,

I said, "You guys had the apology in Vegas.

How do you feel about it right now?"

So long and short, do you believe her?

- Oh, please.

- Well, that's too bad.

I thought that we could both move on,

because I have moved on.

And I just had dinner with Dorit,

and things were perfectly fine.

So where is this coming from?

It doesn't make any sense to me.

You can't fight that. You know what I mean?

Like, if you're gonna go and say those kinds of things,

that's on you.

I really feel like I have been really honest and open

and wanting to move on.

- It was just a pattern

of so many things that I had seen from Dorit

that lead me to tell Lisa Rinna.

- I really don't like what Rinna did to me at all.

And, you know, she can be very horrible.

- Do you think that she knows

that a lot of the conversations revolve around her?

- She knows who she is, and she knows what she's done.

She's one person one minute,

and then she's another person another minute,

and she's got rage and regret, rage and regret.

- Maybe I selfishly said it for me.

I just felt fake looking at her,

hearing what I had heard.

It doesn't matter how much time passed.

I felt like a liar, and I'm not a liar.

- It's not a big deal for me.

You know, it's not like, "Oh, my God."

- Okay.

- "Oh, jeez."

Trust me; there's been other things

that have been...

- Okay. - Much bigger.

On another note, I'm gonna get

all the girls together on Saturday for drinks.

- [laughing] Perfect.

Great! - Yeah!

- Should be...

- So we can all catch up and have a really good time.

We're gonna have early drinks.

I hope you can come.

- Counting down the moments.

- Coming up...

- Come here. Stick the booty out.

Beautiful, beautiful.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- How many times have you shot at this studio?

- Um, for, like, the last eight years.

[laughs]

- It has good vibes here.

Good vibes always.

- We've been shooting here for a while.

- Push to... - Push to the book cover.

- Book cover, baby.

- It's important for the book cover

to leap out and grab you.

I woke up this morning, and I thought,

"You know what? I'm gonna shoot the cover of my book."

- [laughs]

- It's important that it catches your eye.

You want to know what's inside.

You want to delve inside and read my personal story.

It's important that it's a little over the top.

- I think we can do that. - I do too.

You know, for lack of a better word,

it has to be kind of pop art.

- Yeah, I agree. - Good.

I'm glad to hear you say that.

Simon & Schuster's been so great.

They've let me really

have creative control

over the cover of my book.

- How's the book going?

- The book's... I just got a new chapter.

- Really? - Yeah.

It's about money. It's cute.

I was just getting ready...

I was actually just reading it before.

It's right here.

You write an entire chapter about money

when you're blowing a lot of money.

You want to look good? Costs money.

- Louis Vuittons?

- No.

- Versace. - Versaces.

You want to go perform and have fun?

Costs money.

♪ My kitty's like a python ♪

♪ Tick-ticking like a time bomb ♪

You want to make records? It costs money.

- Oh, yeah, girls!

- Everything costs money.

This sh... is expensive.

- Okay, so good luck.

Come in a little tighter, which...

Yes, perfect.

Touch your chin down.

Beautiful. Don't move.

- When you do a shoot like this,

you're always gonna go through

a million different set-ups and costumes

till you get the perfect look.

We're starting off with the see-through catsuit.

- Come here. Stick the booty out.

Beautiful, beautiful.

- This photo shoot most definitely

makes the book more real.

This is what people are gonna see.

It's what they're gonna remember,

so you have to make a statement.

And so that's why it's so important

to get it right.

- All right, we're good with this.

- I think we're really good.

- I think we covered this one and all these.

- Yeah, there's some pretty ones.

- No, there's some pretty ones in there.

- It's a good warm-up.

♪ ♪

- All right, let's go do this.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God, PK. - What?

- I can't go up. - Come on, bubba.

It's 'cause you're carrying a bag that's like a suitcase.

- No, it's not because of that.

- You're very red, white, and blue today,

very English.

- I... no, very American.

- Hi, guys. Welcome back.

- How are you, Ryan? - Hey, brother.

- Good to see you. - Good to see you too.

- Everything good? - Everything's great.

- I've spent endless hours

in full design mode...

Endless days, weeks, months on this collection.

This is the one; this is the style

we're talking about for that fabric,

which I love.

- You guys have not met Soozie yet.

Both: No.

- Soozie is the head designer here.

- Hi. - It's nice to meet you.

- Hi, Soozie. - Ryan, show us the factory.

- This is so exciting! [gasps]

My factory, baby. - [chuckles]

- So this is our home away from home, basically.

- This is where it all takes place.

When we get fully busy in season,

all of these machines are filled.

Straps, packaging, everything happens here.

- PK, you know, you didn't know me

at this point in my life,

but this, for me, is the sound

that I've heard most, probably, in my life,

sound of the sewing machine and the smell of the fabrics.

- Its actual creation.

- Now that we have a manufacturer,

it's very important that we keep the momentum going,

because everybody needs to know what they're in charge of

and what they need to do.

- Are we having our meeting here,

or are we having it in the office?

- We're having it here. - Are we?

- Yeah. - Oh, fun.

- PK and I are partners.

My money is his money. His money is my money.

That's the way it is.

But it was difficult to digest

all the changes that PK had made.

- I think that your best chance of success

is to move the price point down.

And I know you're going to be a bit disappointed;

I don't like the name Nava for the swimwear.

- But PK is such a visionary.

He is a successful businessman.

And I feel so lucky that I actually get that advice

for free, nonetheless.

- So the color scheme for this first collection,

I pared it down to really just

the gold, the rose gold, the black, the white.

- Before I met PK,

I poured all of my money into my company.

This time around, Ryan is a partner.

Boy George has also invested in the line.

- Keep a really simple, clean aesthetic, you know?

Sexy but comfortable,

the feeling of what is Beverly Beach.

- It's really interesting that you chose gold.

- Gold... - I love gold.

- Rose gold. - He didn't choose gold.

I chose gold. I chose rose gold.

- It's really interesting the way Dorit chose gold.

[laughter]

- We wanted to be true to who you are.

- Yeah. - You know?

- This feels like it's my brand.

It's fun, but it's got this sort of class.

- Totally, and that's what was important to us as well.

- Yes, kind of a blossomed idea

of what I initially had thought.

- It's a great thing, isn't it?

I mean, Ryan's brilliant at what he does.

I'm beyond brilliant.

And it's a growth thing.

We talk about it. It develops.

- Am I brilliant?

- You're part of the beyond brilliant.

[laughter]

- Of course I can always fire PK if I want to.

But I still have to sleep with him at night.

[laughs]

I know PK comes in when things are started.

He's not an embryonic-stage...

- I run the last three yards through the finishing line

and go, "Yes, I did it. I did the whole thing.

It's me. Everything was me."

- And yet here we are doing development.

- "Everything was me." - Exactly.

- Coming up...

- Teddi, the whole thing

is about taking accountability.

- I can't wait till it's reversed

and it's on you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[doorbell rings]

♪ ♪

- Hey. - Hello, honey.

- Come on in. How are you?

Oh, nice to see you.

- Nice to see you, my fellow Gucci girl.

- Yeah. - Oh, Erika.

I think... who was I talking to?

- We're going this way.

- Rinna. - Oh, my God, did you see her?

- I did. I did.

- Cool. - Yeah.

No, it was really nice to see her.

You know what? She's...

I haven't... we haven't seen...

Wow! [gasps]

- Well, it's just I didn't know if you were hungry or not.

But I thought we'd have a glass of champagne and chat

because I never have you over to my house alone, so...

- Erika. I'm so impressed.

- Oh, God, please.

- Wow. Thank you very much.

And look. And Cristal? - Why not?

- Well, Erika knows how to host a guest.

Serving champagne in an actual champagne glass.

Yes, thank you.

- Yeah, so this is Pump.

So this was just, like, a car park.

I mean, it was totally empty.

So... - It's beautiful.

- Anyway, let's just sit here.

I need a glass of... I'm going to have the Vanderpump rosé

just because I'm biased.

- I'll have the same. - Okay.

And I'll join you.

- [laughs] You'd like to.

- Yes. [chuckles]

- Here's to you. - To you.

- Here's to our friendship.

- To our friendship, absolutely.

And all the great things... - To come.

- That we both have going on.

Both: Mm.

- Which I'm so excited to hear

about what's going on, how your book is progressing.

- It's going good.

I just shot the cover of my book,

and I've enjoyed the process.

You know what I've really enjoyed?

My girlfriends and my mom and my close friends, like,

they will all send me pictures and things.

"Remember this?"

And I remember it one way.

They have their, you know, memories.

So it becomes, like, this complete circle of events,

and it's really nice.

I'm talking about, like, going back

to when I was 18, 19.

When were you completely over and divorced the second time,

with my step-father?

- Like, the spring of '83.

- You know what I put in the book?

I put in the book that he beat you to the bank

and pulled all the money out of the account.

- Oh, God. - [laughs]

- Yeah, what a piece of sh...

- [laughs]

It's gonna be fun.

I mean, I've got a lot of work to do,

but, like I said, chapter by chapter, it's coming.

What about you? Where are you with the swimwear?

- Well, you know, remember I slightly mentioned

that there were some changes.

- Yeah, to the name and stuff like that.

I know it was Nava. - It was Nava.

- And now it's changed, right.

- Ready for it? - Yeah, I'm ready.

- Oh, my gosh, and I love it.

- Okay, tell me.

- Call it Beverly Beach.

What do you think of that?

- Beverly Beach.

- That's kind of cute.

- By Dorit.

- Beverly Beach by Dorit.

- It's an imaginary place

where you can go and wear swimwear,

have a candlelit dinner without candles.

- It is this fictional place.

It's magical. - Yeah, of course.

- It's special, and you can see it.

- And it also frees you up to create anything you want,

quite honestly, Dorit.

- Exactly.

- 'Cause anything could be Beverly Beach.

- It's a lifestyle. Moving on.

Lisa's party was, like, a little bit "pile on Dorit."

Lisa and Teddi had a little gag.

I don't know if you were there or you saw it.

- Wait, what was it?

- Her and Teddi had planned this before I got there.

- I apologize; this is the only clean glass we have.

- [laughs]

- I'm not drinking this rosé out of this glass!

What, are you crazy?

Well, they're very close now.

- Why, because they ride horses together?

- I guess so.

Well, she calls her "Teddi Bear."

- Yeah, I noticed that.

- All right, Teddi Bear.

Yeah, my birthday. I mean, it was fun.

What do you think? - I don't know.

I mean, one, it was beautiful.

- What about when I gave Dorit the...

- That was pretty funny. - Green glass.

I mean, I wanted it to be enough

that she would suss it but not too much.

- But she knew... Like, soon as she, like,

had the glass in her hand, I just started to look up,

and she was like...

- "Yeah, I gotcha."

[both laugh]

- Wait, wait, wait.

Am I detecting a little...

- A little jealousy? A little needy...

- My God, you guys are so... ing... I can't.

- Erika. - What?

- Absolutely.

I was being needy of her love and attention.

- I hate you!

Ugh.

I can't.

- Which is why...

- Oh! Dorit, I'm so disappointed in you.

- You know, when you love someone, you love.

- It's not great for anyone to want or need

anyone's, you know, love or attention.

That shouldn't be the basis of your friendship.

In my opinion, everyone should be more independent.

- Dorit wants to know exactly what I said in New York,

why I said it.

She's upset that I shared that information with Kyle.

We need to have a conversation

where other people aren't involved.

I really don't like having

serious conversations with people

in front of an audience.

- Nor do I.

Because people chime in, and then you get confused.

- For me, a serious conversation

is meant for two people to figure out

if they can get through it.

- Yeah.

- And you have everybody else's opinions

and dramatizing everything.

- So where are you with Lisa?

- We're good. We're fine.

We've moved past it.

You know, she'll continue to, you know, make light of it...

- Well, she's gonna continue to punish you for it.

- As far as Teddi's concerned,

even when she says to me, you know,

"I really like you, Dorit,"

but I feel like sometimes when we engage in conversation,

it goes around and around and around.

- Okay.

- I'm thinking to myself,

"Why don't you pick up a mirror and look into it?"

- Ooh, you feel the same way.

- Oh, my God, Erika.

- And what did she say when you said that?

- Well, I didn't at that moment, because...

- Well, you have to next time.

- I'm just thinking in my head, like, "Are you joking me?"

- She's making you feel accountable.

- It was a... yes.

Teddi needs to stop trying to be my accountability coach.

If I wanted one, I'd hire one.

You know what they say about opinions.

- Oh, my God, you're having issues with everyone but me.

What's going on?

Is the world coming to an end?

- Everyone but you and Lisa Rinna.

- Such a... ing bizarre thing.

- Crazy frickin' world.

- Coming up...

- What do you think, though?

What do you feel?

Are you feeling it?

There's another offer on it,

so we have to make a decision relatively quick.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- I love this entrance. Don't you?

- I love it.

- It's kind of cool,

the way it wraps around and the topiary.

What do you call these things?

- Hedges? I don't know.

- It's got such a good vibe to it.

- I know; it feels like a happy house.

- Yeah. - I like happy houses.

Oh, I love these floors!

- This is what we're doing at our old house.

- Except shiny.

- Except for shiny. Exactly.

- I kind of like it.

- It's got kind of the same vibe

we're trying to do there, right?

Except where it's kind of just larger.

- Bigger.

This house has six bedrooms in the main house

and two in the guest house,

a beautiful dining room and a theater room

and a beautiful center island in the kitchen.

There's room for all of my girls,

all five of my dogs,

and maybe babies one day.

Not mine.

My kids' babies.

How much of this stuff is original from 1896 or whatever?

- I think a lot of it.

Like, you see these moldings right there?

That's for sure original.

- This basically has everything

that my other house didn't.

It's my house but bigger.

I have more property and more space behind gates.

So it still has that homey feeling that I love

but just a better version.

- Check out this backyard.

I can't get over it. It's amazing.

- I can't get over it either.

- I mean, it's just fantastic.

Oh!

- What do you think, honey?

- It's a hard call.

I mean, we're doing so much work to our house,

and I love our house, and I think it's amazing.

- I know.

- I mean, it's not like you just pick up and leave

every time you see a pretty house.

- I don't.

You've shown me lots of houses

that you wanted me to consider,

and I said no to every single one of them.

- I know. - This is the first one that...

- This house has such good energy to it.

- The first one that I feel, like, that feeling,

like I can make this my home.

- Right.

- In this town,

if there's a great property,

especially if it's unique like this, it'll be gone,

so you have to move fast,

which is why I'm feeling the pressure.

I don't have the luxury to sit back

and go, "Well, I don't know.

Let me think about it for a month or two."

No, I have to move fast, or it'll be gone.

- What do you think, though?

What do you feel? Are you feeling it?

There's another offer on it,

so we have to make a decision relatively quick.

[laidback music]

- Jaggy?

How was karate yesterday?

Show Mommy your new moves.

What did you learn?

Like this?

[phone ringing]

Hi, Teddi.

- Hey, how are ya?

- I'm good. How are you?

- I'm good, thanks.

So I was just calling.

I thought maybe you and I should have a chat.

You know, so do you want me to...

Going to get drinks tomorrow?

- Yeah, I'm supposed to.

- So I didn't know if I could pick you up

and we could chat before.

You know, for me, I'd rather just have

a one-on-one conversation with you.

- All right, sounds good.

I'll talk to you on Saturday.

- Okay. - All right, bye.

[sighs]

Let's have a conversation.

How about a conversation? How about a conversation?

- I want to thank you for coming today.

You ladies have a nice day?

- I did. What did I do?

I worked out this morning,

and I'm tired from working out.

- Me too. That's all I did.

- Hi. - Hello.

- Hi. - Hello.

- You look nice. - So do you.

- You're gonna be so jelly...

- Oh, my God, you're back.

- I am. Hello, darling.

- Things have been so quiet.

- I know. I bet they have.

- And thank you for my flowers.

- You're so welcome. Happy belated.

- Wait, do you want to be jealous?

- No, I want to say hello to Erika first.

I have plenty of time for jealousy...

- Okay.

- Was there, like, a secret memo?

- Yes, but you didn't get it.

- Oh, I know. I know, right?

- You look pretty? - Thank you.

I do. - Yeah, you do.

- Okay, now I'm gonna make you jealous.

- How are pretty. - [laughs]

- They're great.

- I saw them at Barney's.

- Well, you didn't buy them.

- I didn't buy them.

- Hi!

- Would you ladies like to begin

with some sparkling water or still?

- I'm going to have a margarita.

- Sure. - I'd like an iced tea.

- Perfect.

- So did I tell you I got the house?

I close escrow in two weeks.

- You said you wouldn't buy it without showing it to me.

- I had to move fast,

because there was another offer and...

Luckily, I know

the best real estate agent in the business,

because when we were deciding

whether we were going to buy this house or not,

we found out that we had to make a decision quickly.

There were a few other people that wanted to buy the house,

so I had to move it.

I can't wait for everybody to just come see it.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- How are you?

- How are you? - Good, thanks.

You are 30 minutes late.

I was told 4:15. You look beautiful.

- Thank you. So do you.

- Ooh, jeez.

[laughter] Sorry.

Oh.

- So...

- Clearly, there's stuff that needs to be said.

- Well, I mean, long and short of it,

I don't want to make a bigger deal of it

than it is.

[sighs]

- Coming up...

- She thinks that she's not creating this big mess

that sort of ensues

after she makes these throw-away comments.

There's Camille.

There's Camille. - Hey!

Hello, everyone. - How are you?

- Hi, Camille. - Everyone looks

gorgeous today.

- How's everything? - Good.

I haven't seen you ladies in a while.

- I know.

- Hello, guys.

Where are we sitting?

- Hello. Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

I've dealt with Dorit

the way I saw fit.

That is so pretty.

- There's the eclipse in it.

- We talk about the eclipse in our relationship.

- Is there an eclipse in our relationship?

- There was a little blight. - Really?

- We were in the shade for a little while.

- Oh, I didn't see that.

- I mean, I love Dorit.

Absolutely, I forgive Dorit.

And I've already moved on.

- Hi. - Hi.

- How's it going? - It's going.

You well? - Good, yeah.

- Hello, would you like something to drink

at the moment, besides water?

- A Grey Goose on the rocks with a splash of club soda.

- Sure.

- Can I just have a glass of Prosecco, please?

- I want to come sit next to Teddi for a minute.

No, I was saying I have to leave soon anyway, so...

- Oh, okay. - I'll say hi over here.

It's okay.

Tonight I am going to see "Hamilton,"

and tickets were not easy to get,

so there is no way

that I am going to miss taking Portia to this.

- Girls? Girls?

Speaking of eating, my mom is coming into town,

and I would love to invite you all to lunch.

- Lois! - Oh!

- Lunch for Lois. - Oh, my God!

- I love Lois.

- I'm so excited to meet your mom, Lisa.

- She will make us all laugh.

- Okay, guys.

Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.

Going to see "Hamilton" with Portia.

- I'm going to see your house this week.

- Yes, I'll take you to my house.

I'll see you guys later. - See you later.

- Please try to behave.

- Bye. Have fun.

- Are you upset with me about the gag?

- No. - Okay.

Really... okay, good.

- No. - Whoa.

- What is that?

- It was just a joke. I just thought... ugh.

- I'm not upset with you, honey.

- Fantastic.

- I thought things were done between us,

so when things come up months later...

- But it came as a joke, because...

- As we discovered today, it's like...

- I give up. This is why.

- It's weird, but...

- What did you discover today?

Do you want to fill everybody in?

- Oh, right. Oh.

Teddi, why don't you fill everyone in?

- No, because truthfully, Dorit,

I didn't want to talk about this

with anybody other than you and Lisa,

which is why I kept it in the car,

and I asked us to drop it.

You want to bring everybody in?

You go ahead and tell it however you'd like.

I wanted to protect Lisa Rinna

but not repeating this story

over and over and over again.

But once again, here goes Dorit.

- I think, when you say the things

that you've said to me in the car,

it's very difficult.

- [sighs] So after Vegas,

you and I had a conversation about Lisa Rinna.

You had us over, and PK was like,

"Oh, you know, she's schizophrenic."

You're laughing.

You're saying she's full of rage and regret.

Lisa Rinna and I are getting a pedicure the other day,

and she'll telling me how, since Vegas,

everything's been amazing with you,

and I cannot even look her in the eye.

- You just feel like you needed to kind of talk

about a conversation that happened three months ago

over dinner that was in passing.

Is that what you're saying?

It's not nice to think

that you're starting sh... With friends of mine.

It's not nice to think

that you're trying to restart something

with someone that I've had issues with

and we're working...

- I'm not trying to restart.

- No, no, no, for whatever reason,

you think your hands are clean.

You're not quite realizing that you're starting fires.

I don't like this.

And it's sort of now been a theme with her

where she inserts herself

and she thinks that she's not creating this big mess

that sort of ensues

after she makes these throw-away comments.

- Probably what's even odd about it

is because you waited so long.

- Because I had... you had never talked to me about Dorit.

It made me feel uncomfortable.

I'm sorry it did.

- I do not think

that Teddi is trying to stir things up

between me and Dorit.

She's just trying to do the right thing.

She is in a pool of sharks,

and she's like a baby dolphin.

So in thinking about it today, it happened

how many months ago?

- Three. - It happened

right after Vegas. - Okay, right after Vegas.

I think we've come a long way since then.

- That's what I said to her.

I'm like, "Are you joking me?"

- So that's what I said in the car.

I even said, "Lisa is not upset at you."

- I'm not.

- But what I'm upset about...

See, this is a pattern.

- I really I don't give a sh...

They've said much worse,

by the way.

- This is your friend.

- Your response, Dorit, was,

"She is 100% rage and regret.

That is that woman."

- Teddi, let me make this very clear.

Let me help you... - Okay.

- With your issues.

- Lisa and I are fine. - Great, good.

- We're good. - Perfect.

- Teddi, as much as I like her,

is guilty of really bringing up something

that should have been dead and buried.

And for her to ignite the conversation

probably wasn't the smartest move.

But maybe she wanted to clear the air.

I think we've all been guilty of that.

Teddi is very moderated,

and she's very... her whole thing is about taking accountability.

So if she sees any loose ends,

that's what she wants to tie up.

That's who she is. - Are you kidding me?

She needs to tie up loose ends?

Is that the way you interpret it?

- I don't think she's...

- I can't wait till it's reversed

and it's on you.

And I guarantee our conversation's going to be

very different from what you're saying.

- I'm okay with you,

and that's all I care about right now.

- She must be clever enough to know what it actually does.

- I think Dorit's time might be up with Vanderpump

as the pet puppy,

because a newer, younger version has come along.

[laughs]

- How do you feel about where you stand

in this group of new friends?

- To be honest, in this moment,

I'm not thinking about where I stand.

In this moment, truthfully,

I wanted to have a real conversation with Dorit

and end it and feel more like

I'm not having to sit in a conversation

and defend something that I didn't say,

something that you said, that I wanted to end.

Put all the blame on me.

It's all my fault.

I said it. Oh, sh..., no, I didn't.

You did.

- As much as you think

that it all ends when you decide it ends,

it doesn't.

How does Teddi think

that she can unleash a bomb like this,

let it explode,

and she just wants no part of it?

It doesn't work like that, honey.

- If you said nothing that you feel guilty about,

then what do you give a (BLEEP) what I have to say?

- She cares about your... - Excuse me.

Do you not even just see what that... the twist of that?

- She feels like you're starting sh...

That's how she feels. - Exactly.

- Well, I feel like maybe if she feels that way,

she should stop saying things that she feels like

would probably hurt her friend's feelings.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Bitch, you do not want to go there.

No one had the interpretation that you had

the night of New York's dinner.

I may have even said maybe she was feeling jealous

that I was talking to Kyle.

- Have you said it to Lisa Vanderpump yet?

- Not yet.

Regardless of what you guys took,

I mean, I've spoken to Erika about it.

I've spoken to Lisa Rinna about it.

And they were in the same dinner.

No one felt like I was badmouthing or bashing.

- I don't think you were badmouthing or bashing.

I didn't say, "Oh, my God, she's bashing Lisa."

- We never said you were bashing.

- I never thought that... - Lisa...

[people talking at once]

- I never... - Would have hurt my feelings...

- I said, "I would have hurt her feelings,"

and that is the same thing Camille said.

And, Erika, in the moment, you 100% said, "Teddi,

I agree with you; it would have hurt my feelings."

- Would you feel... ed over if you were me?

- I would have, but I am a sensitive person.

- You did avoid that answer, by the way.

- Yes. - [laughs]

- I would be a little pissed. - Yeah, I know.

- The truth is, yes.

Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't.

It's possible.

- You pretending that it's full amnesia right now

is confusing to me.

- Don't ever say I'm pretending,

'cause I'm not pretending.

I'm telling you the truth; I don't remember

saying that, don't ever say that

to me again. - Okay.

- Don't (BLEEP) with me like that.

You don't want that. - Okay.

- Don't ever, ever do that to me.

♪ ♪

- Come on. Calm down.

- I'm serious. It's okay.

Don't do that.

- Okay.

- You pretending

- You pretending that it's full amnesia

right now is confusing for me.

- Don't ever say I'm pretending,

'cause I'm not pretending.

I'm telling you the truth; I don't remember saying that.

Don't ever say that to me again.

- Okay.

- Don't (BLEEP) with me like that.

You don't want that. Don't.

Don't ever, ever do that to me.

[tense music]

- Come on. Calm down.

- I'm serious. - Calm down.

- It's okay. Don't do that.

- Okay.

- When you say "pretend amnesia,"

you're implying that I'm lying

because I don't have the... ing balls to say,

"I made a mistake."

I simply don't remember.

And I'm tired of being nice to you.

- Erika, come on. - I'm okay.

- It comes across a little...

Yeah, a little aggressive. It does.

I'm telling you...

- I don't think it comes across aggressive at all.

Saying someone is pretending to have amnesia...

- You said "pretend."

Don't say I pretend to have amnesia.

There's no pretending.

- I am the queen of not remembering.

- Did you or did you not say

that my sister is close to death?

- I do not ever remember saying that.

So I don't actually blame Erika

for clapping back at Teddi.

- Lisa, why do you think she can say things

and not be accountable for them?

- I did not realize that comment

would have upset you to that point.

- Well, you're basically calling me a liar.

- No. - Yeah.

Like all of a sudden

I'm changing my story for convenience.

No, girl, I told you. I don't remember, period.

[tense music]

- Let's go. Let's go.

- Yeah. - Let's go.

♪ ♪

- I'm not the bad guy here.

You're the one that threw it up.

You're the one that wanted to talk about it.

Here's your response. Now accept it.

- Bye, babe. - Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Stay strong. Be true to yourself.

Remember that. - I know. I know.

- Well, I can't be bothered with that.

- Bye, you guys.

- Bye. - Bye.

- I don't like when I see someone like that.

You don't understand that you... I can't handle it, though.

- [tearfully] No, I'm not even upset about you, Dorit.

- Listen to me. What are you upset about, then?

Because the thing is, I'm upset.

I'm the one that's upset with you.

You're not allowed to be upset.

- Teddi? - No.

- Teddi, you're not going...

Teddi, you're not going...

- I'm out of here. Leave me alone.

- Teddi...

- You can't push

and not expect someone to push back.

That's not the way life works.

Hey, Dorit, just leave that alone.

She's good. Just leave her alone.

- Oh, sorry. - Leave her alone.

I'm good, yeah.

- Say what you want about me,

but I still have a heart,

and I can't stand to see anybody cry.

- Teddi, listen.

I totally understand, and I've seen it before.

I saw it in Hong Kong when she blew up at Eileen.

- I didn't mean it that way.

- Don't ever talk about my kid again.

- But she didn't talk about your kid.

- I didn't talk about your kid. - Shut the (BLEEP) up.

- She kept being aggressive with me,

and I never talk to her that way,

and she changed her story,

regardless if she remembers or not.

If you don't remember something,

keep your mouth closed.

- Right, but I legitimately think

she doesn't remember.

I really do. - And that is fine.

- Because a lot of us don't remember.

- Then why are you so upset? - All right.

- If you don't remember, why are you so upset by it?

- She's upset that you were strong with her and...

- Well, don't... ing call me a liar.

- I know. I know. I know.

- Oh, what, "pretend amnesia," bitch?

- I think Erika will apologize to Teddi.

Erika's sensitive enough to go, "Oh,

"I don't like to hurt her feelings,

didn't mean to necessarily make her cry."

- I'm not apologizing for it.

Don't ask for it, 'cause you're not gonna get it.

Miss Crybaby.

- It is what it is.

My feelings are hurt

the same way that she hurt my feelings last time.

She's very good at it. Golf clap.

- All right, well, I'm getting out of the car.

- Good night.

- I'm gonna call you tomorrow, okay?

- Next time on...

- One minute, she's running around; the next minute..

- That was one of the biggest shocks of my life,

that she died. I should have seen it coming.

- Lois, you could teach a lot to this group.

- Do you all drink a lot?

- I do. - Depends on the day.

[laughter]

- Are you really having a seance at your house?

- I am having a seance.

- I have been receiving phone calls from heaven.

And I call God "Papa God."

I've been doing this piece on Marilyn Monroe.

She's at the end of the table there.

- I had a lifetime as a boy,

and I lived in the bottom of a ship.

It's a previous lifetime.

- Am I buying it? No!

- If the two of you can put your differences aside...

- What about the two of you?

- To learn more about the Housewives, go to: