Original subtitles

- Previously on "The Real

- Previously on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- I'm writing my book. - Simon & Schuster.

They're the real deal Holyfield.

- It's great, but it's... Like, at the same time

it's a little overwhelming.

- Okay, I'm going.

I waited half an hour for you guys.

I'm out of ♪ here. ♪

- Lisa.

- If she's not the focus,

then she just... ing leaves?

- Like, she needs a lot of attention.

- After you left,

a couple of the girls were, like, very mad about it.

- You guys, honestly, that was a weird situation.

Let's be honest.

- Hey, Kyle, come here.

Were you mad that I didn't

spend the night here last night?

- Dorit, what kind of sh...

Have you been stirring up?

- New York City Fashion Week, here we come.

- If you haven't worn this. We need to get on that.

- That can be a fashion show moment.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Welcome to New York.

- Lisa said to me,

"I really feel like you don't even include me."

And maybe she was feeling jealous.

- Have you said it to Lisa Vanderpump yet?

- Not... not yet.

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]

- In this town, fame and money come and go,

but friends should not.

♪ ♪

- Some people call me cold.

But that's not ice... It's diamonds.

♪ ♪

- I believe in excess of everything,

except moderation.

♪ ♪

- Having the best isn't important to me,

but being my best is.

♪ ♪

- I don't have to buy it, 'cause I already own it.

♪ ♪

- The queen of diamonds

always has an ace up her sleeve.

♪ ♪

[mellow pop music]

♪ ♪

- Why, out of all the days that we're here,

it has to be a rainy day for the actual party?

- Well, it doesn't matter, it's not gonna ruin it.

- No. - It's gonna be fine.

- I know. - Anyways,

it's a big moment for you, you know?

- I know, following in your footsteps.

- That's true, I wasn't gonna mention it...

- Yes! - But that is very true.

- Well, I'm so proud of that.

- I remember my "BELLA" magazine cover.

What about the sex monster? Bring him on.

Smile... you're on the cover too, you know.

This is your afternoon.

You know, for you to have a cover...

- Yeah. - It's just kind of,

you have it forever, you know? - I know.

- When you look back on those moments.

- I know.

- When we're older and say to our grandkids...

- Yes, I know!

"BELLA" magazine is a fashion magazine.

They are well aware that I'm a designer.

And they had said that I embody

what the magazine represents.

My first cover would've been... - Got goose bumps.

I actually, got goose bumps.

Don't know whether it's cold or because I have feelings.

- Because you have feelings!

- No, it's probably just cold. - You definitely have feelings.

[bright pop music]

- Good day.

- I'm really nervous for my daughter, 'cause her

big fitting today, and then... - I know, that's huge.

- There's a lot going on, so. - That's exciting.

- Mason is going to walk in Malan Breton fashion show.

I think I'm more nervous than Mason is.

[laughs]

I'm just exhausted from last night.

- Hi, guys, good morning. - Hey.

- How are you? Afternoon.

- Ugh, I know, how's it going?

- Good, how'd you guys sleep? - Hey.

I didn't sleep very well.

[laughs] It could be stress. - No.

I actually slept really well.

- You're so lucky. - I slept eight hours.

- Okay, I need one of those nights.

- Love to get the soup of the day,

maybe some crudités.

- Fantastic, of course. - Thank you so much.

- Um, don't put your purse on the ground.

Bad luck. - Bad luck.

- Put it up on there. - Oh, oh.

Is that why I had bad luck for seven years?

[laughter]

- I'm not really a superstitious person.

I'll walk under a ladder,

open an umbrella inside of a house,

but put my purse on the floor so my money's out the door?

Not gonna happen.

How was your dinner last night?

- It was interesting.

Dorit spoke the whole time.

- What does that mean?

- To break it down, she gave the narration

of what Lisa Rinna missed during these last two weeks.

One thing that kind of was brought up again

was the beach house situation.

- Erika wasn't feeling well.

She leaves, and Kyle brings it up,

and she's very outspoken about it.

- Erika already has a wall up, and I care about Erika.

Why would you make it seem like it was this big huge thing,

and everyone was so upset when that's not what it was?

Was I annoyed? Yes, I was annoyed.

Are we over it? Yes, we are, we're done.

Okay, Dorit? Can we drop it now?

- She threw Lisa under the bus last night too.

- Like what?

- She told the story about your dinner.

- My dinner?

- The dinner that you and Dorit had.

- And I wasn't there, so I don't really know...

- Oh, where Lisa walked out. - I couldn't follow that.

- She shared that whole story.

- Lisa Vanderpump, out of the blue, stands up abruptly,

and she says, "Well, I'm leaving then."

- She essentially alluded that Lisa gets jealous

of Dorit and your friendship.

- I may have even said she was feeling jealous

that I was talking to Kyle.

- I will tell you, Lisa will be very hurt by that.

I...

- Well, hopefully, she's telling Lisa today.

- What do you mean? - If I were to slip up

and say something like that about one of my friends,

I would call them and tell them.

I would know.

I would have empathy and say,

"(BLEEP), I messed up."

♪ ♪

- Wait a second... aww.

It's an old man. - I know.

- I have a bunch of old men.

- I know. I know. Um, Lisa...

- Yes?

- I love you,

and value you as one of my best friends.

- Yeah? - That's just plain and simple.

So, anytime any conversations happen

or if a moment happens like it did at Palihouse,

I want very much for it to be, you know, front and center.

We never really discussed it.

- I don't even wanna go through the whole night again because...

- No, but I want you to just let me say something.

- Say... yeah, of course.

- You know, when things happen in that moment...

And I understand, it's not a big deal now,

it's just not a big deal, but in that moment,

it was so abrupt and shocking, and you know what?

The thing is, Kyle and I...

Kyle and I were, um,

we were, you know, I was so laser-focused on Kyle

because she started to get upset.

And she was upset because of me.

So, when you left, it was very shocking.

- So, what is it? What do you want to say to me?

I feel like you want to say something to me.

- Lisa, I haven't gotten a chance.

- Why don't you cut to the chase and say it?

- Honey, you're saying it as if...

- You're making it such a big deal,

because we've moved on at the beach.

- Well, trust me, I didn't say anything

that you would never wanna be friends with me again.

- Well, tell me then. What did you say?

- At that moment, I was very shocked, very surprised,

and in my mind I was thinking, "Oh, my God.

What on Earth warranted that kind of departure?"

- Hold on one second, it's starting to rain.

And you've got the umbrella

and I don't have any glam with me.

Ahh!

- Ahh.

- Now, just say it, what did you say?

- I said that you had said to me

that when we're in groups of people,

like, you'll be trying to talk to me,

and I don't listen to you. - And you don't, yeah.

You're like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

- Exactly, so this is all I said.

- Well, I think Dorit's best quality

is that she talks a lot.

I think Dorit's worst quality is that she talks a lot.

- Can I just stand up while we have this conversation?

- No.

And I think sometimes,

the importance of what she says

is kind of slightly diminished because it's kind of,

you know, caught up in so much other nonsense.

- I'm definitely over it, but I wanna make sure

that if I've said anything off the back of that,

that I've told you.

I wanna make sure, because I don't...

- Well, have you told me everything?

Is there any other little nuggets

that you want to deliver to me?

Because now's your chance.

[dramatic music]

- Um,

I got really upset thinking that you were upset with me

because you said to me in the past, "Dorit..."

- "We've been through all this."

- Exactly.

- This is another bizarre statement

coming out of Mrs. Kemsley's mouth.

I don't know why she would bring this up again.

I imagine there must be something to it.

- I don't want things coming out

that... and it not come straight from the source.

And I know both Kyle and I had strong things.

I mean, I was saying... - That's okay, Dorit.

- No, and I think that it's...

- I had strong feelings too, that's why I left.

- Exactly. Lisa. - Yes?

- I wanted you to know that the night at the Palihouse,

Kyle and I had been talking.

And I really thought

that you were upset you didn't have my attention.

You've told me that when you were young...

When you were a child, you didn't get much attention.

You told me... - I got attention.

I'm not needy as a... For attention.

- No, that you weren't told "I love you" and...

- Oh, well, that's a different thing.

That's... we're talking about the British kind of being reserved.

- Exactly. - I don't need your attention.

- I sure hope you do.

- I actually don't.

So, it doesn't matter whatever you say.

That's still a negative thing to say about a friend.

- It is, I know.

- I could've said that last year,

I thought maybe you... ed up a couple of times,

I didn't start trashing you.

- I don't think I said anything that...

- Well, clearly you did,

otherwise you wouldn't be telling me now.

This is actually inconsequential.

- I know, I know! - This is a big moment for you.

- Your first cover... Go and make yourself beautiful.

I love you.

- I feel really happy that I was able to tell Lisa

the things that were said when she wasn't there.

I felt like Lisa was taking it really well,

and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

- You're a stupid cow.

- Oh, I just love you so much though.

- Coming up...

- Dorit felt the need to say at that table to everybody

things that you had shared with her.

That's a pattern now, it's, like,

I... you just don't do that.

[energetic pop music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- All right.

We are on our way.

- [laughs] - Simon and...

- Schuster. - This is gonna be fun.

Been in a lot of places, Brian,

but I've never, like, holy sh..., like,

I gotta pull this off.

- Right. - I feel the pressure.

- Yeah, no, I...

- I wanna deliver.

- I am there with you. - I know.

We're in it together.

I'm meeting with my publishers

at Simon & Schuster because

they wanna know what's going on with the book

and I gotta let them know.

I gotta let them know all this fabulous work

that Brian Moylan and I have been doing.

I'm super excited.

[laughing] These are, like, real authors.

How do I look? Hold on.

- [laughs] - Okay, I'm okay, I'm okay.

[gasps] Oh, my God, hi.

[laughs] all: Whoa!

- Hi, I'm Erika.

- Jeremie. - Nice to meet you.

- I'm Jen, welcome. - Erika, nice to meet you,

- Hello, I'm Erika. - Nice to meet you.

- Hi. - I'm the other Jen.

- I've never felt more unintelligent my entire life.

Like, walking through these halls...

- Do you know how many people have reached out to us

to say, "Oh, my God, you're doing Erika Jayne's book?"

- Well, thank you, that's... No pressure!

[laughter]

Brian, what are we gonna do? Jesus.

I'm crawling out of my skin.

I have on my... ing glasses

'cause I have terrible allergies,

but kind of glad I have my glasses on

so they don't see the ...ing fear in my eyes.

All right, well, I am super excited to be here.

I've never done anything like this.

I feel like a total fish out of water.

- You're at the big boys' table.

So, have you guys started?

- I just finished a chapter which I have to send to Erika

to fill in the blanks, make sure it sounds like her.

- My mother and I have come up with some great memories

and we still have a lot to do.

You have to know

when you're not the smartest guy in the room.

I know this from living with

a really smart, accomplished, educated man.

I look around and I go,

"Holy sh..., I'm out of my element."

I need to find an ally in here that can help me

because I need help.

- Jeremie, do you have any questions?

He's just the one who edits it. - I know.

- He spins it into gold.

- If it's anything like you in person,

or anything like the stories you told us

over the phone when we first met,

we're so happy.

So warm, so accessible, just great.

- And that's what I want, honestly.

You know, here's this kid from Atlanta who, you know,

had a dream and didn't have anything,

and now I'm sitting at Simon & Schuster.

Nobody's supposed to care what I think.

Just, my presence here...

It's not expected.

- Thank you. - Thank you for your time.

I'm beating the odds.

So nice to meet you all in person.

- Thanks for coming in. - Yeah.

So, there's no room for mistakes.

We're here. - Yeah, we are.

[laughter]

Now we have to write a book. [laughter]

[energetic pop music]

♪ ♪

- Girls, it's my big night.

- So exciting. - I'm so excited for you.

- It feels like I'm going to the prom or something.

- I know. - You are.

- Remember when we just kept talking about

the fact that the shoot was even gonna happen?

- I know.

I was talking to Lisa Vanderpump today

in the park about it.

Like, in 20 years time I can say,

"Guys, look Mommy looked cute." - [laughs] Yeah.

- Or, I'll look at the pictures...

You know how you see pictures 20 years from now

and you're just like, "Ugh! What was I thinking?"

- Totally. - [laughs]

- I'm not only the host this evening.

I'm also the guest of honor because I'm on the

cover of "BELLA" magazine's fashion issue

for New York Fashion Week.

Do I look androgynous? - Well, you look like...

- You look glam, but that's why it's gonna be cute.

- So, I need to have fashion, fashion, fashion, fashion

oozing out of me.

[tense music]

I've got a little bit of a bellyache.

I wonder if it's nerves.

- Yeah, I'm sure. - You think so?

- Yeah. - Why would I be nervous?

[phone ringing] - This is a big night, Dorit.

- No, my husband's not with me.

Hi, bubba.

- Hi, babe, how you doing?

- I'm a little bit nervous,

and I think that's because you're not with me.

- It's your thing, it's your...

It's your event, so just enjoy it.

You got all the girls there to support you,

so you can relax.

- I know... See, you even say that,

and I immediately feel a little bit more relaxed.

- Shoulders up. Be proud. You own this.

[upbeat pop music]

- There's so much going on, I can't even keep track

'cause I have two girls,

and they both have the same schedule,

but then yet a completely different schedule.

- Mm-hmm. Look up for me.

- You know, we went to Jonathan Adler yesterday

and shopped with Delilah...

I mean, like, tchotchkes and, you know,

things for her apartment.

Oh, my God, look at this. How much are they?

$248. - No, this is not.

This is only a hundred and...

- Maybe just this small one.

They deliver everything in New York.

So, they... they send a messenger to deliver it.

The delivery guy was robbed.

- Hmm. - They took everything.

Oh, I feel great,

knowing that Delilah's delivery was just robbed

and now I'm leaving her in New York City.

Oh, I feel fabulous about that.

Thumbs up.

[phone beeps] Um,

Ready-to-Wear Show.

Okay, so the girls are gonna walk

in the Ready-to-Wear show for Dolce.

- Oh! - Yay!

- We're pleased with this offer

and it'll be a really nice moment for the girls.

Okay, confirm, confirm, confirm.

Oh, my God, I'm so excited. I gotta tell them.

I did not sign up to be a momager.

I'm working with them, technically, all day long,

and the girls are like, "Mom, please, just let me do it."

So, I'm finding my boundary with it

because it is their career.

But they need guidance.

Hi, can I just say you've been confirmed

for the Ready-to-Wear Dolce & Gabbana show

in Milan, Italy?

- I'm not gonna lie, I'm peeing right now.

[giggling]

- Hi, welcome to my world.

- I'ma read my email now.

- Yeah, read your email.

- Okay. Bye.

- Congrats.

♪ ♪

- This extension I'm a little concerned about,

so just don't touch your hair all night, okay?

- Oh, that should be easy when I...

- It's okay, I'll pray for it.

Thank you.

- Can I call Edwin really quick, guys?

No, you're so nice. [phone ringing]

Hello?

- What're you doing?

- Hey, hottie, where are you going?

- Oh, you're having a really good hair day.

- Who's there with you?

- Alix and Laura.

Thank God they're here, because last night,

I had to beg the woman at the counter next door

if she could put eyelashes on me.

[energetic dance music]

- I think she's cute.

- Baby doll Gucc?

- Yeah... baby doll Gucc. - Adorable.

- Brand new, curled, white,

go-to hooker pumps? - Yup.

- Well, we're doing baby doll hooker.

- Baby doll hooker, yes.

- Yeah, I like that idea.

♪ ♪

- Looking fierce.

[knocking on door]

Yes?

- What kind of bar queen is that?

[laughter] - I thought...

- Vanderpump, she's not ready yet.

- [roughly] Who is it?

- It's me. - [laughs]

- Well, you look pretty ready. - Sorry.

- How are you two? How are you two?

- Trying to get my hair and makeup done.

- I've ordered a cup of tea to be brought to the room.

Do you want anything? - I'm okay right now.

- So, I saw Dorit.

I went to the park with her. What did you do?

- I met Camille and Teddi.

What did you and Dorit talk about?

- We started talking about Palihouse, you know?

And she just said that she said

a couple of negative things about me.

- I'm curious exactly how she said it,

because, honestly...

- But it wasn't that bad, I mean, it wasn't.

- Not that bad? Really?

- She just said, "Well, you know,

your parents didn't give you much attention."

I was like, yeah they did.

- I get a feeling that Dorit

was not honest about what she really said.

Camille and Teddi were telling me

Dorit felt the need to say at that table last night

to everybody things that you had shared with her.

To be honest, that night, at the Palihouse,

when you walked off, I was pissed off.

Dorit was pissed off.

Then she was saying things that you had said in confidence

that I didn't think she should be saying.

- Well, you know Lisa's a bit...

Like, she needs a lot of attention.

It's literally like I'm cheating on her

by being friends with others.

- Like what? - And that was the exact

same thing she said at the table last night...

You're insecure, that you're needy,

that you're... you're a lot of... - I'm needy?

- It'd be a lot of work type of a thing.

- Lisa's said to me in the past

"You get talking with someone else,

"and that you don't even include me,

and, you know, you don't listen to me."

I may have even said maybe she was feeling jealous.

- So, she said I'm jealous, I'm needy, I'm insecure.

What else? - I'm telling what she said.

- Okay. - It started with, you know,

filling in Lisa Rinna about what's been going on

and what happened at the beach house.

And she sat there telling Erika last night

that I'm the one who brought it up

and trying to create a whole sh... from me

that... that wasn't... I've never spoke against Erika.

- No. - It was nothing negative,

and we were all on the same page, so why would she do that?

That's not being a good friend to me.

B: then she starts going on...

In front of the whole table, by the way,

that you're jealous and insecure,

needy, all that stuff. - Am I insecure?

Honestly? - Listen, they came to me...

- That really hurts my feelings.

- I'm sure it does and I said that.

I said to Camille and Teddi

that your feelings were gonna be very hurt.

- Are we sure we know that?

Are we sure we know it's the truth?

- Sorry, guys... do you wanna have your hair tucked up, Lisa?

- I've been more than kind to her, I love her.

- Listen, I'm not trying to create a bigger problem here.

- No, I know. - She said it to a whole table.

That's a pattern now.

I'm gonna say something to her, I have to.

I can't... I cannot not say something.

- It's her night tonight.

- Coming up...

- I have to say something to get off my chest.

- Uh-oh. - Oh, God.

- Well, so much for the fun night.

[energetic dance music]

- Everybody looks gorgeous tonight.

- Aww, beautiful. - Yeah, everybody looks great.

- Everybody really brought their A-game tonight

with their everything. - Good job.

- What did you girls all do today?

- I went to Simon & Schuster.

- Oh yes, how was that?

- Well, it was intimidating to meet these people.

On the wall, it's like,

write about important stuff,

and now you've got to contribute too.

- You're just bringing your important stuff.

- Exactly. - Simon & Schuster, yeah.

If it's important to you, it's important to other people.

- Obviously, I'll never be in that lane,

but at the same time it's, like...

I'm not gonna win a... ing whatever-that's-called.

- Pulitzer Prize. - You don't know that.

- I do.

[laughter]

This is Erika Jayne, this is glitz, glamour,

fun, fantasy, love, escape.

I'm not... ing Ernest Hemingway.

- Ooh, girls,

any words of wisdom for this evening?

- You should have a good time. - Have fun.

- Have fun, enjoy yourself.

- Have fun, you're on a ...ing cover of a magazine.

- Just, like, basking in the moment.

- Roll around in it.

[laughter] That's what Harry always says.

Roll around in it!

- It's a great visual.

Both: Roll around in it.

- But not literally, please.

[energetic dance music]

♪ ♪

[loud chatter]

- Oh, Lord have mercy.

- Dorit, this is your moment.

- Hi, Courtenay, how are you? - How are you?

- Hi, ladies. - Hi.

- Let's all take a photo together.

- Oh, that's so gorgeous.

♪ ♪

- That's a beautiful photo.

[intense dance music]

♪ ♪

- Hi.

- Hi. - Thank you so much for coming.

- Thank you guys. - This is Alex.

- Hi, Alex. - How are you?

- Oh, how are you? - Nice to meet you.

- So exciting, this is my first cover.

- We are thrilled you're here.

- I'm so happy. - As you can tell.

The press is ready for you.

- It's unbelievable to have a party thrown in your honor

because you're on the cover of a magazine.

It's not anything I would have ever expected

would happen in my lifetime.

- What does it mean to you

to be on the cover of "BELLA" magazine?

- Oh, my God, it means everything.

It's my first cover. - Really?

- So this is... it is, it is, so it's a first experience.

It's thrilling, it's exciting,

and it's incredibly nerve-wracking

because I'm the center of attention.

And I feel like the last time

there was that much attention on me,

was when I walked down the aisle with my husband.

♪ ♪

- Oh, there's Marc Bouwer.

Hi, Marc. - Oh, Marc.

- How are you? Muah, muah.

- Hey, oh, my God. - Marc, ahh.

So... haven't seen you in so long.

- Look how gorgeous you look.

- I know, doesn't she look pretty?

And you look pretty good yourself.

- You're amazing, you know, we go back,

like, way back.

- Yes, way back... [laughs]

- We were like little kids.

- He loaned me my first dress.

Being on a soap opera, no one would loan you a dress.

I found Marc Bouwer and asked him

if there was any way I could borrow a dress.

And when he said he would,

I was so blown away and so excited.

- How do you feel about how great the cover turned out?

- I love it. I'm so pleased. I'm so thrilled.

I was nervous at first because I thought,

can you imagine if I have to live the rest of my life

with a cover that I really don't like?

But they could not have made me more proud.

- It's pretty.

- That's beautiful. - It's very pretty, right?

- Gorgeous.

- How pretty is that?

I love that chainmail, come on.

- Let's have a look, let's have a look.

- I know, let's see.

- "BELLA" always does a beautiful cover.

My cover was pretty.

And they brought it home again.

- You know, I wanted to talk to you, Erika.

I feel like the whole situation about the beach house

got so blown out of proportion

and made into something that it wasn't.

It really bothered me because I heard today...

It was making it seem like I, alone,

was upset and worked up and made a big deal

out of something, and that was not the case.

It was, A, not a big deal, and, B, I wasn't alone.

And it was literally like nothing.

But it made me feel bad because I care about you

and I don't like that, that happened at all.

- Listen, I care about you too.

It is way out of proportion.

I was truly embarrassed.

- I thought it was pretty silly, to be honest,

when we heard this story last night.

It sounded like you spearheaded it,

and I was like, "That's not like Kyle, she loves Erika."

- It was nothing like that.

I just wanted to say that because I haven't had

the chance to talk to you since then.

- It's fine. - And I'm thinking,

"What must Erika be thinking right now?"

- No... you know what, Kyle?

I'm so happy to hear you say that.

I did not understand why it became a big deal.

I don't wanna talk about it again.

- Okay. - Okay?

I have nothing but love for you.

We're fine.

- Kyle was telling me what you and Camille told her.

- Yeah.

- And, and it...

I was just a bit...

taken aback.

- Yeah, it was definitely... I mean...

- I mean, I believe Kyle totally.

- Right. - She's not gonna exaggerate.

She wouldn't do that. But I don't quite understand.

- Nothing was meant to be malicious,

but it's shocking to me because you're close to Dorit.

Dorit is all about Dorit,

and she doesn't think about the other things surrounding her

and it's gonna bite her in the ass.

It's just what happens.

So, last night was more just about

when you left the Palihouse.

What I was perceiving, was that it was because you...

Her and Kyle were talking, so you got upset.

I don't think that she's a malicious person.

- Not at all.

- And I think she likes to have...

Put on a little show when she's telling a story.

- Maybe.

[dramatic music]

- Coming up...

- I was getting the ...ing brunt of it.

Between a friend that I trust

and a friend I care about.

- What are you talking about?

[mellow pop music]

♪ ♪

- Gotta make sure everything's good.

- Everything's great, Courtenay.

If there's anything else I can do, please tell me.

- Well, I actually have to get my three kids

ready for school tomorrow.

- Right? - So exciting.

- We're gonna get out of here soon.

- We're gonna go celebrate. - Courtney, thank you.

Tonight couldn't have gone any better.

It was such a great turnout.

I feel like I've accomplished something.

Thank you, yes.

Girls?

Should we go somewhere else, have a drink?

- Thank you, ladies, for coming.

Hope you had fun. - Thank you.

- I'm on cloud nine.

[tense music]

- How are we gonna go in the rain? We need umbrellas.

- I can't put my purse in the rain.

♪ ♪

Run.

Oh, my God! [laughs]

- Don't run so fast, just go the same pace as me.

- What about the other girls?

You asshole, we left everybody behind.

- Oh, my God! - (BLEEP)

- Oh,... ing hell.

- [squealing]

- I'm not a witch,

what the (BLEEP) am I gonna do, melt?

Get in the car.

- Can we borrow your umbrella?

- You are so sweet, a real gentleman.

- I love you.

I am looking too cute to be in the rain.

- Thank you, baby doll.

- Thank you so much.

Thank you, lovey.

- Sugar melts, mother...

[bright pop music]

- Gotta get a... - Your coat.

- I love the rain.

I love it. It feels so good.

- [muttering]

- My... my purse is between my thighs.

- I'll take it out.

- No. - I'll take it out.

- Just keep walking. - Unclench your thighs.

- Keep walking. - Unclench your thighs!

You're gonna drop it. Unclench your thighs.

- Let's go.

- [soft laugh]

- Lookit! - Don't eat it. Don't eat it.

- Kyle, it's a rat. It's a gold rat!

Oh, my God! - So cute!

- No! No rats!

We need to talk about the rat situation.

There was poo in here? - Rat's poop.

- We cook with that! - Everywhere.

- No gold rats, no regular rats,

no rats.

- Well, whatever.

- Oh, my... - You're gonna be like...

- [laughing]

- Teddi, as your friend, I can see your puss.

- She's putting it out there.

- Are you into it?

- I mean, it's great.

Here's how you handle seeing up someone's skirt.

You very politely look at them and say,

"I can see up your skirt."

You do the other girl a solid.

There you go, save you a lot of trouble.

- I have a bottle of rosé.

Can I get you started with that?

- Aww, sure. - Sure.

- But can we also get some cocktails?

- Of course. - Yeah, cocktails.

- I'll be drunk.

- I already am drunk.

- Let's do a toast.

- To New York City.

- To "BELLA" magazine.

- Cheers. - To "BELLA" magazine.

Cheers to you.

I'm not responsible for what

comes out of my mouth after this drink.

I'm not, not.

You guys know I never ...ing drink, ever.

- Cheers to friendship.

- Oh, thank you so much.

- Can we just get drunk tonight?

- Let's get drunk.

- I love it! - Yes!

- How many drinks are you in?

This is a second drink. - This is my third.

- I'm already drunk.

- I'm here to have fun, but... - Let's have fun.

- I will say one... I wanna say one thing.

- What? - Oh, please.

- I have to say something to get off my chest.

- Uh-oh. - Oh, God.

- Well, so much for the fun night.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

- You look gorgeous, honestly.

- But? - It's not but.

If I didn't care about you, Dorit,

I wouldn't say anything.

You know, what happened with the beach house...

Why was I being singled out?

- Hey, Kyle, come here. Were you mad that

I didn't spend the night here last night?

- I'm not mad. I don't care where you sleep.

I wish you would have stayed and had fun with us.

- But she said to me that you were a little...

That you guys had a discussion about it.

- I'm not mad. I said to you clearly,

"I don't care where she sleeps."

Well, you know, it's... but I... - Yeah.

- It would have been fun if we were all together.

Then why was it made a bigger deal than it was

when you're my friend?

- How did I make it a bigger deal, Kyle?

- First of all, you went to her and said...

- That everyone was talking about her

and I felt uncomfortable?

- Yeah, but you made like it was bad, Dorit.

- There was a lot of conversation about Erika.

You were very, very outspoken.

- You guys, honestly, that was a weird situation.

Let's be honest, and yeah. - That's true.

- It is what it is.

It was all of us, A. And B...

- No, no, you were very, very, very upset.

- It feels like I was getting the... ing brunt of it.

- Well, I'm sorry... - Between a friend that I trust

and a friend I care about.

- It's okay, we're good.

- I know that. - We're good.

- But now I feel... ed over.

- I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,

I don't wanna fight with anybody.

Next time, I'll hang out. [soft laugh]

- I have to go to the bathroom.

How do I get out? I'ma go this way.

- I see your ass. - Whoa, it's cute, though!

- And by the way, where do you think you're going?

- I'm going to the bathroom!

- That's not allowed.

- I am. - Disappears.

- Well, it better be five seconds.

- I don't ever have a couple cocktails,

and I've just had a couple cocktails,

and these ladies are missing out on all the Rinna fun here.

- Who would you say in this group

are the two top people you're closest with?

- You two. - Thank you.

So, why would you go and try to hurt me

or hurt Lisa by saying things against us?

- What are you talking about?

[dramatic music]

- Why is Kyle doing this right now?

It's Dorit's big night tonight,

and I don't wanna be in the middle of this.

There's no winners.

- You had a conversation at dinner that came back to me

where you were talking sh... About both of us,

the people who love you the most?

Lisa, why are you just sitting there?

I'm speaking up for both of us.

Can you please chime in?

- First of all, tell me where did it come from,

and who told you.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- You and I are the one who had a problem.

We'll go in the... ing cab. I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not doing that. - No, we can't talk.

- Bye, everybody. Everybody, goodbye.

- Now, wait... ugh, sh...

[tense pop music]

- Who told you what I said?

- Everybody's reiterating everything.

- But she's upset with me for that,

and making a mountain out of a molehill.

- Dorit, don't run away with the story.

You're fine, okay? It's okay.

- I was a part of the conversation with Camille

where I sat down with Kyle at lunch today

and I said, "Yeah, 100%, last night

Dorit relived the story of the Palihouse."

And in that story, you said, when Lisa left,

that you were both pissed off

and you thought it was because you two had a connection.

- Lisa's said to me in the past,

"You don't include me,

and, you know, you don't listen to me."

I may have even said maybe she was feeling jealous

that I was talking to Kyle.

- You implied that she gets jealous

when you have a connection with somebody else,

and that is true.

- Talk about making...

- You said that in a group,

that wasn't a prior conversation.

- Dorit, please, come on.

- And that... Erika, was that said?

- I understand. Yes, you're right, 100%.

- I'm just totally confused because

nothing that Dorit really explained to me in the park

implied the severity of these statements.

Apparently, a lot of negative sh... was said about me.

- I love you, Erika. - I'm worried about my look.

- Honey, touch it up.

Touch it up. - Enter the conversation

and say that things were negatively said...

Well, I don't know who that came from.

- I told you exactly what I said.

I told you. - Teddi.

First of all, take down your tone.

- No, because you're yelling over everybody all of the time.

- Take down your tone. - And I'm over it.

- Take down your tone. - No. Not...

- I'm not in one of your Accountability memberships.

[women whooping]

So just take it down 15 notches.

- Bring my career into it all you want, honey.

I'm not accepting new clients.

I have never once said something that's not true,

and I never will, that is who I am.

And that may be irritating,

and you can throw my job in my face,

but that is exactly who I am.

- I'm proud of Teddi for speaking up to Dorit.

At least someone else is defending themselves tonight...

Lisa.

- No, really, I think we need to take a minute.

- You and I from the beginning have been, like,

we will never have a problem.

- Camille, what's the issue? Camille?

What's the issue?

- Whatever was implied by whomever...

- What's going on?

What's the issue?

- So, my feelings get hurt.

- What's going on?

Why are we going round and round?

What's the issue?

- Can I switch seats with you?

- Guys, no, really? - Listen to me.

- That it's complicated and I barely understand it.

[mellow music]

[laughs]

- I'm talking to you because I care about you

and I literally... I'm... ing pissed off.

There was things said about me and Lisa Vanderpump

that shouldn't have ...ing been said.

- Kyle, I swear on my mother's life...

- That you could tell me every ...ing thing you wanted,

and never, ever, (BLEEP) you over, and I feel... ed over.

- I can't understand this rage for the life of me.

Maybe she's had too much tequila?

Who knows?

- Stop it right now.

Kyle, come on.

- By calling out Dorit,

I'm trying to defend Lisa Vanderpump and myself.

But Lisa just sitting there,

not saying anything to... Backing me up,

she makes me look like an idiot.

- Guys.

Put a pin, guys. Put a pin in it.

So, you guys can stay but Camille and I will go home.

I'm leaving. I'm done.

Camille's got a big show with her daughter tomorrow.

We gotta go.

These bitches will not shut up.

This is gonna go on for hours.

- Phew, let's get out of here.

- I'm... ing done with that sh...

I thought the plan was for us to have fun

and party tonight and maybe get a little buzz on.

What happened?

We're going home. We're going back.

Whoo-hoo!

I'm sorry, we have kids.

- I know. - We have kids.

- Where do we leave it?

- I don't even want a ...ing problem with Dorit,

I feel depressed about the whole thing.

- I don't want you to feel depressed because I adore you,

and I don't want you to feel that way.

- We're fine, but... - I don't give a sh... about us.

- You got issues that've been...

- That is so far in the rearview mirror,

I don't care, I'm good with everybody.

What I care about is you and Dorit and her,

because the reality is...

- Can I ask you an honest question?

- Yes.

- If you were Lisa and Dorit,

would you feel... ed over by the things she said?

- Can I re-direct?

What exactly are you talking about?

- Did you just say, "Can I re-direct" like Tom Girardi?

- Yeah, I'm a... ing lawyer.

- Overruled. - Freelance.

I'm working pro bono.

Even Tom says I'm a pretty good lawyer.

That is true.

- No... no, no, no, hold on a second.

Erika, you were there.

If you were me, would you feel... ed over?

That's the question.

- I don't have all the facts.

- No, but you were there.

That's what the question is.

- I don't know which is there there. Help me out?

- We're talking about dinner.

- I am so hurt by what Kyle has done tonight...

On my night.

- You've witnessed everything.

Would you feel... ed over if you were me,

if it was about you?

- You've having to think about it.

I would've, but I am a sensitive person.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

- Ugh, we have to talk without all the chaos around us.

- Yeah, we do.

- That's why I hang out with gays.

- Right?

- You did avoid that answer, by the way.

- I would be a little pissed. - Yeah.

I know. - The truth is, yes.

- Listen, I don't feel good.

The fact that anybody's talking sh... about me,

I really don't feel good.

I love you, and I love...

- I'm going in the cab.

- A cab? Why?

- Because I don't wanna be around all of this sh...

- You wanna go with us?

- I'll go with you, then.

- I mean, it was one thing not to have my back inside.

But now, Lisa is offering a ride to Dorit,

who's been gossiping about her?

Lisa completely holds me to a different standard.

Anytime I have ever

said anything remotely unflattering...

Being in a friendship with you

is like playing chess with Bobby Fischer.

Every move is so calculated.

She has punished me.

- Do you feel your relationship with Kyle and Mauricio

changed after he sold your house?

- Oh, yes, very much so.

- You do? - And so does Ken.

- You would like what from Kyle?

- Nothing.

- Really?

- You and I are the one who had a problem.

We'll go in the... ing cab.

I'm not gonna do that, I'm not doing that.

- No, we can't talk.

- Listen, your relationship with this woman

and this woman are so important.

- I love her! I love her!

- Then we should all go home together, then.

- Let's all go together. - We'll go home with you.

Kyle, I'm going home with her.

- Lisa, come over.

Lisa will come home with me.

- It doesn't matter what's gone down, I believe Dorit.

And my relationship and friendship

supersedes anything that has been said.

If she is insistent on going home on her own in a taxi,

then I will be going with her.

- Bye, everybody. Everybody, goodbye.

- Now, wait... ugh, sh...

Just, come on, I'm begging you.

Swallow your... ing pride right now and just do this.

I promise you it's the right thing to do.

- I'm not gonna... ...ing making me do this.

- Because it's the right thing to do.

You're gonna swallow your pride and you're gonna do this.

- Can't have the conversation right now.

- You don't have to have a... ing conversation,

all you have to do is get in the... ing car.

- All right. - I don't want you to cry.

- I don't want to talk to you or anybody else.

- I don't want you to cry. - Leave me alone.

- No, it's not leave me alone, no.

- Leave me alone, leave me alone.

- Let her be. - Leave me the (BLEEP) alone.

- Just don't say anything to anyone.

- ... ing unloyal, leave me alone.

- I'm not unloyal. - Yeah, you are.

Leave me alone, leave me alone.

Leave me the (BLEEP) alone, Lisa.

- I don't want her to be upset.

- Leave me the (BLEEP) alone.

♪ ♪

- I don't want her to be upset.

- Leave me the (BLEEP) alone.

You wanna see unloyal? You're about to see it... ing now.

- Why are you trying to divide Lisa now?

- Sit down in your... ing seat and leave me alone.

- Her feelings are hurt too.

- Teddi, this is not about you.

- I love you, I don't want you... stop.

- Sit in your chair, Lisa, you're full of sh... now,

and I don't like that. - No, no, no, no.

- Lisa is my friend and said,

"It's your night, I'm not gonna let her go on her own."

That's, like, weird to be mad at that.

Kyle is one of my best friends.

You don't behave like this.

Why would she ever wanna see me go home alone?

Why would she get so upset with Lisa?

I don't understand it.

- You never appreciate me.

- I love you, of course I do.

- I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.

- I do appreciate you and I love you very much.

I don't understand why, at the end of the evening,

when it's all crap about me,

am I being attacked and yelled at

and having to reassure Kyle that I love her?

- You find the wrong person to kiss ass to.

- I'm not kissing her ass.

- You don't appreciate me.

I've been here... ing 10 years.

I'm not gonna do it anymore. I'm not doing it.

I know for a fact that what Dorit has said

has upset Lisa and hurt her feelings.

I'm not even mad at Dorit anymore,

I'm completely confused by Lisa Vanderpump's behavior.

- I think you should go after Kyle.

- Where's Kyle?

- I never feel, like, appreciated by Lisa

and this is a perfect example.

- I think Lisa does not know what the (BLEEP) to do

about somebody talking bad about her

and having to process it.

- I just met Teddi, and she is backing me up

more than Lisa Vanderpump after ten years.

I'm not gonna deal with a fake... ing

bullsh... phony... ing people.

I'm not gonna do it, I can't take it.

- Things have obviously been said that are gonna

hurt my feelings, let's be honest...

Including things that you said in the past.

- Everything I said to you in the park

is exactly what was said.

Lisa, I love you. You're my friend.

- Do you wanna come with me?

- No, I wanna go this way.

I don't wanna go... Kyle... I don't.

Go.

- I adore you. - Thank you.

- If you need me, I'm here for you.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- So, now there's a problem between us?

- No, there isn't.

- Lisa.

- Nobody seems to take into account...

- No, I never feel appreciated.

- That maybe I don't like sitting there all night

listening to sh... Talked about me.

- That wasn't me. I've never done that to you.

- Oh, needy, insecure, this, this, this, that and the other.

You think it's been a great evening for me?

- I don't need her not to be a friend to Dorit,

but she's certainly not being one to me right now.

If I had done this, it would be a huge deal.

And for some reason, Lisa refuses to admit

that what Dorit did was really wrong.

It feels like a slap in the face.

- How do you think I feel?

- I don't know.

- Well, you don't show it.

You're, like, oh, you, like,

kissing her ass even though she...

- I'm not kissing her ass. - Yeah, you were.

- If... it seemed very blasé. - Oh, my God.

- I'm not blasé. - This is a pattern.

I have been a... ing good friend to you.

- And she was fighting for you. - I'm not blasé.

- She can say all of this stuff and basically (BLEEP) you over.

- No, no, Teddi, don't go anywhere.

- I won't... I won't leave you.

- I love you, okay?

No, I love you. - [crying] No, leave me alone.

- I think she needs to feel it from you.

- No, but, like, you're putting your energy

in the wrong direction, honestly.

You're choking me, don't choke me.

Let go of me.

- I don't want to fall out with you and Dorit.

- Let go of me, let go of me. - Stop it.

- I can't breathe, I can't breathe.

Let go of me, I can't breathe.

- Come on.

- But you can show emotion, Lisa.

- It's not been a picnic for me,

you telling me that one of my best friends

is talking sh... about me.

- That's one of your best friends?

What am I?

What am I? What am I?

- Talk about it for the next two weeks, me leaving.

Okay? - Lisa.

- Guess what? This jealous, disloyal,

needy, insecure, blasé friend is going to bed.

- Lisa.

- No. - Please, Teddi.

- Good night, everybody.

- Your friendship is more important,

and that's why I'm doing this. - No, Teddi...

- She needs it.

So, show your friend that.

- I've told her!

- Okay, but then go hug your friend

and tell her you love her... - I did.

- Not in that way. Come on, Lisa.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

I'm really sorry.

I know she cares.

- It's... it is what it is.

- Next time on

"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- Oh, I love that.

- Mason is walking for Malan Breton.

[mellow music]

- Oh, hey.

I had sex in the dumpster.

[laughter]

- I love you,

mainly on the strength of loving your husband.

- That hurts.

I thought we have a far better relationship than that.

- I'm not gonna step down.

I'm not gonna be unappreciated.

- Well, you know what? I'm glad to hear this.

It's about... ing time.

Why kiss Lisa Vanderpump's ass?

- She said she got caught in a crossfire. Something happened...

- No, there was some kind of... (BLEEP)

Yeah, and I really thank you for defending me.

I have no problem going head-to-head with Bethenny.

- It was a thank you/(BLEEP) you.

- Oh, for God's sake.

- You could probably say to Kyle, I'm sorry.

- Let me ask you a question.

Do you feel like anything's at stake with us?

[tense music]

- [sighs]

- To learn more about the housewives,

go to bravotv.com.