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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,142 "MELISSA AND JOEY" IS RECORDED 2 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:09,577 IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 3 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:11,345 LOOK AT YOU. 4 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:13,681 PUBLIC SERVANT BY DAY, HOTTIE BY NIGHT. 5 00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,583 WELL, I HAVE TO TURN DOWN THE HEAT DURING THE DAY 6 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,619 - OR NOBODY'D GET ANYTHING DONE. - OOH, COUNCIL STORY'S UP. 7 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,621 From now on we're capping 8 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,690 elementary school class size at 22 students. 9 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:25,126 This is garbage, 10 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,161 which is piling up in front of my restaurant 11 00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:29,663 'cause you cut pick-ups to once a week! 12 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,165 Well, a reduction in trash services 13 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,700 is what pays for the smaller class sizes. 14 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,702 CRAZY GUY WITH A TRASH BAG COMING AT YOU 15 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:37,271 AND YOU STAY THE MATURE, RATIONAL ADULT. 16 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:40,741 YES, I DID. SUCK IT, GARBAGE GUY! 17 00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,311 OH, AND THEN THIS DUDE. 18 00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:45,779 Hey, don't be that guy. 19 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,515 Don't be that guy that brings your garbage 20 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,717 into a public arena and acts like a crazy person. 21 00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,121 - Act like a gentleman. - Thank you. 22 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,255 Now where the hell is the money 23 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:57,191 your brother-in-law stole from me? 24 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,693 What my sister and my brother-in-law did was wrong, okay? 25 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,362 But that's not me. Let me ask the room: 26 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:04,365 Does anybody here have a relative they're not exactly proud of? 27 00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,700 Whew! It's not just me. 28 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,702 AT LEAST HE WAS CUTE. 29 00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,704 YEAH, I DON'T SEE IT. 30 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,673 BUT YOU HELD YOUR OWN UP THERE. 31 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,042 YOU REMIND ME OF YOUR FATHER, THE ESTEEMED SENATOR. 32 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,545 OH MY GOD. DID I SMELL LIKE STRIPPERS? 33 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:20,281 NO, YOU SMELLED LIKE AUTHORITY. 34 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:22,816 - OH. WELL, THAT IS MY FRAGRANCE. - MM-HMM. 35 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,752 YEAH, I HAVE TO SAY IN ALL HUMILITY, 36 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,287 I WAS, YES, SMOKIN'. 37 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:29,590 - UP HIGH. DOWN LOW. - ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 38 00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,592 PLUS YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW'S VARIOUS FELONIES 39 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,161 TOTALLY SHIFTED THE FOCUS OF THE MEETING. 40 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,563 I THINK YOU PUT THE WHOLE TRASH ISSUE TO BED. 41 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,566 AUNT MEL, WHY ARE ANGRY WHITE GUYS 42 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,534 THROWING TRASH AT OUR FRONT DOOR? 43 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,636 THERE IS A POLITICAL DEBATE IN THE COMMUNITY 44 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,705 IN WHICH THE MAJORITY FEELS... 45 00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:46,574 THIS IS GETTING HEAVY... ( sniffs ) 46 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:49,310 AND REALLY SMELLY. 47 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,412 I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE THIS HERE FOR YOU, AUNT MEL. 48 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,748 - THERE'S, LIKE, 10 MORE ON THE PORCH. - Mel: HEY, LENNOX! LENNOX! 49 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,585 DID YOU SEE THE DRESSER I PUT IN YOUR ROOM? 50 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,621 YEAH, IT'S REALLY CUTE, BUT I'M OKAY. 51 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,890 I'VE GOT SUITCASES. 52 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,595 SHE THINKS LIVING HERE IS TEMPORARY? 53 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,663 SHE NO LONGER TELLS ME WHAT SHE THINKS. 54 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:12,132 I USED TO BE I'LL-SNEAK-YOU- OUT-OF-THE-HOUSE AUNT MEL, 55 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,467 LET'S-GET-MATCHING - TATTOOS AUNT MEL. 56 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,436 NOW I'M BECAUSE-I-SAID-SO AUNT MEL. 57 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,838 I DO HORRIBLE THINGS LIKE PUT FURNITURE IN HER ROOM. 58 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,607 CLEARLY, I'M A MONSTER. 59 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,808 OF COURSE SHE'S DIFFICULT. 60 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,676 DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT YOU WERE LIKE AT 15? 61 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,745 NOT VERY CLEARLY. 62 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,780 I DID A LOT OF DRINKING THEN. 63 00:02:28,416 --> 00:02:31,252 ♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK ♪ 64 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,153 ♪ WITH ME ♪ 65 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,528 RYDER, I'M GOING OUT TONIGHT, 66 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,363 SO RHONDA'S STAYING WITH YOU GUYS IF YOU NEED ANYTHING. 67 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,498 COACH SAYS I NEED A BETTER JUMP SHOT. 68 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:45,766 YOU GOT ONE OF THOSE? 69 00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:48,702 YES, WE ASIAN WOMEN ARE ALL ABOUT THE HOOPS. 70 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,707 SO IF YOU'VE GOT ANY HOMEWORK, DO IT. 71 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:56,377 AND BEYOND THAT JUST, YOU KNOW, 72 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,912 BE GOOD AND DON'T... 73 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,715 - TORCH THE PLACE? - YES. 74 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,557 IT WAS ONE LITTLE SINGLE-ALARM FIRE 75 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,626 AT HIS OLD HOUSE THE WEEK HIS FATHER RAN OFF. HE WAS ANGRY. HE JUST... 76 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,628 STACKED 20 OF HIS DAD'S SUITS ON THE DRIVEWAY, 77 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:17,565 ADDED SOME TOP-SHELF COGNAC AND LIT 'EM UP? 78 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,701 IN A WAY, BUT WE ALL NEED 79 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,770 - TO LET THINGS OUT EVERY NOW AND THEN. - NO, WE DON'T. 80 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:26,607 THE URGE TO SET THINGS ON FIRE, WE REPRESS. 81 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,609 THANKS FOR BABYSITTING. 82 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,278 I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE SINCE THE KIDS MOVED IN. 83 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:32,280 IT'S BEEN SO LONG, I'M ACTUALLY NERVOUS. 84 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:35,249 ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 85 00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:38,419 THESE SAY "SMART, INDEPENDENT, BRIGHT POLITICAL FUTURE." 86 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:41,422 THESE SAY "FORMER BAD GIRL. SHE'S BACK!" 87 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,693 WHAT, ARE YOU GOING HIKING? THOSE. 88 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,529 - ( cell phone ringing ) - Both: THAT'S YOURS. 89 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,499 - MEL BURKE. - RHONDA CHANG. 90 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,633 - YES, HELLO? - YEAH? 91 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,668 - SCHOOL PRINCIPAL. - CHANNEL 5. 92 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,504 - SHE DID WHAT? - WHAT DID SHE DO? 93 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,539 - WHEN? REALLY? - WHERE? TODAY? 94 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,408 Both: LENNOX DID THAT? 95 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,343 - LIZ, I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE. - NO, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME. 96 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,244 - IT'S NOT AT ALL TYPICAL. - OF COURSE I BELIEVE YOU. 97 00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:06,747 - I KNOW WHEN SOMETHING'S SERIOUS. - IS THIS REALLY SERIOUS? 98 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,816 - I'M REALLY SORRY THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED. - I'LL TALK TO MEL, 99 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,652 BUT I'M TELLING YOU THIS COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED. 100 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,787 GUESS WHAT. 101 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:16,990 TODAY AT SCHOOL LENNOX HANDED OUT FLYERS 102 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:19,527 CONTAINING AN ORIGINAL POEM 103 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,296 RHYMING HER PRINCIPAL'S NAME IN A CREATIVE WAY THAT 104 00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,264 DIDN'T GO OVER WELL WITH MISS LUNT. 105 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,804 NOT TO SEND UP A FLARE, 106 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,973 BUT THERE'S A POSSIBILITY CHANNEL 5 HAS THE STORY. 107 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,875 - ARE YOU SURE? - PRETTY SURE. 108 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,378 I WAS JUST ON THE AIR, LIVE, DENYING IT. 109 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:41,682 TWO MONTHS LIVING WITH ME AND SHE GETS SUSPENDED. 110 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,384 LEGAL GUARDIAN OF THE YEAR. THANK YOU. 111 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,753 I KEEP TELLING YOU: HIRE SOMEBODY... 112 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,455 AN ORGANIZER, A PROFESSIONAL. 113 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,623 THOSE KIDS NEED STRUCTURE AND DISCIPLINE 114 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,692 AND POSSIBLY ELECTRO-SHOCK THERAPY. 115 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:54,662 AND YOU, MY DEAR, CANNOT DO EVERYTHING. 116 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,296 WELL, MAYBE NOT EVERYTHING, 117 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:57,731 BUT I CAN CERTAINLY DO THIS. 118 00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:58,999 IT'S JUST A MATTER OF GOING UP THERE 119 00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,502 AND SETTING THAT GIRL STRAIGHT. 120 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,505 I HAVEN'T MOVED YET, HAVE I? 121 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,709 WHY ISN'T MY SISTER HERE TO DISCIPLINE HER OWN DAUGHTER? 122 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:09,977 BECAUSE SHE'S LOCKED UP IN FEDERAL PRISON. 123 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,612 MAN, THAT'S A SWEET DEAL. 124 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:17,685 HEY, LENNOX, REMEMBER YOU AND ME AT THE FALL OUT BOY CONCERT? 125 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,019 I JUST FOUND THIS OLD PICTURE. 126 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:20,721 OH, YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT WAS HANGING 127 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,723 VERY OBVIOUSLY IN THE HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE DOOR? 128 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,726 NOT OBVIOUSLY... AFFECTIONATELY. 129 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:29,863 THAT WAS SOME NIGHT, HUH? FALL OUT BOY! WHOO-HOO! 130 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,466 WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH THIS? 131 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:35,035 I WAS JUST REMEMBERING THE GOOD TIMES, YOU KNOW, 132 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,672 WHEN WE SHARED, TOLD EACH OTHER THINGS. 133 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,841 IMPORTANT THINGS... 134 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,076 THAT HAPPENED... TODAY. 135 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:45,479 OH, COME ON. YOU DIDN'T THINK 136 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,047 "I GOT SUSPENDED" WAS SOMETHING YOU MIGHT SHARE? 137 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,750 OKAY, I WILL SHARE THIS: MISS LUNT IS A FASCIST. 138 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:52,686 WHY COULDN'T HAVE CALLED HER THAT? 139 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,055 INSTEAD OF... YOU KNOW. 140 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:57,725 WELL, I NEVER GOT IN TROUBLE AT MY OLD SCHOOL. 141 00:05:57,758 --> 00:06:00,461 THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS BOUGHT THE INDOOR POOL. 142 00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:03,597 IT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SPA. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? 143 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:07,367 WHATEVER. LOOK, MISS LUNT IS EXPECTING AN APOLOGY. 144 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:10,571 YOU AND I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT DOWN IN HER OFFICE AT 3:00 TOMORROW. 145 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,406 GREAT. YOU LET ME KNOW HOW THAT GOES. 146 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,943 LENNOX, UNTIL YOU TALK TO HER YOU CAN'T GO BACK TO SCHOOL. 147 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:18,812 OH WELL, GUESS I'M NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. 148 00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:20,714 OF COURSE YOU ARE. 149 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,684 THIS IS YOUR EDUCATION. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT! 150 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,919 - ( doorbell rings ) - OH, THAT'S MY DATE! OOH! 151 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,688 I HAVE MORE TO SAY. 152 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,823 YOU JUST STAY RIGHT THERE. STAY. 153 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,763 OH, GROSS. 154 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,500 I WAS EXPECTING MY DATE. 155 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,836 I'LL BE QUICK. I WAS A JACKASS DOWN AT CITY HALL 156 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,104 AND I NEVER SHOULD'VE CRASHED YOUR MEETING 157 00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:45,873 ASKING WHERE YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW WAS. THAT WAS WRONG. 158 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,876 I JUST WANTED TO COME HERE AND SAY THAT I'M SORRY. 159 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:52,880 BOLIVIA! LEWIS IS IN BOLIVIA, ISN'T HE? 160 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,983 - YOU JUST FLINCHED. - I FLINCHED BECAUSE YOU SHOUTED "BOLIVIA." 161 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,718 OKAY, PEOPLE IN BOLIVIA FLINCHED. 162 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,687 LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE HELL HE IS! 163 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,522 NOW GET LOST AND LEAVE ME AL... HI, GRIFFIN. 164 00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:04,758 HEY, DON'T YOU LOOK NICE AND SMELL HANDSOME. 165 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:07,127 - WHO'S THIS GUY? - OH, NO GUY. 166 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,096 I'M A... ( grunts ) 167 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,600 LOOK, GRIFFIN, 168 00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:14,635 I KNOW YOU'VE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR THIS DATE 169 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,103 AND SO HAVE I. I MEAN, LOOK. 170 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,739 - RIGHT? - ( chuckles ) 171 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,508 BUT I HAVE A NIECE IN CRISIS, 172 00:07:20,541 --> 00:07:22,042 AND I REALLY WANT TO GO ON THIS DATE. 173 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,712 BUT, YOU KNOW, I HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH HER 174 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,481 AND I SO WANT TO BE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU BUT... 175 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:30,083 MAN, YOU SMELL GREAT. LOOK, I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS DATE, 176 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,686 I JUST CAN'T GO ON IT. SO LET ME DO THIS. 177 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:37,090 THERE. THAT SHOULD HOLD YOU FOR A FEW WEEKS. 178 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,527 MAYBE MORE. WE JUST DON'T KNOW. 179 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:45,599 ( clears throat ) WOW. 180 00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,601 THAT'S A WHOLE BUCKET OF CRAZY. 181 00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:00,748 HI, RHONDA. I KNOW I'M LATE. REALLY? THAT LATE? 182 00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:04,451 YES, I FILLED OUT THE PAPERWORK FOR THE NANNY AGENCY. 183 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,754 IT'S RIGHT HERE. NO KIDDING, I'M LATE? 184 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,656 YOU SHOULD'VE SAID THAT BEFORE. 185 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,791 ( doorbell rings ) 186 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,597 OH, DEAR GOD. 187 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,566 RELAX. IT'S A HAPPY VISIT TODAY. 188 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,900 - MAY I? - NO. 189 00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,035 SO I FOUND THE CITY BUDGET ONLINE LAST NIGHT 190 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,871 AND I WENT THROUGH IT. HERE'S A THOUGHT: 191 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,873 THE CASH IN THE GENERAL FUND THAT'S JUST SITTING THERE... 192 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,908 HIRE ME AND I'LL DOUBLE YOUR RATE OF RETURN. 193 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,477 THAT WAY YOU'LL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR SMALLER CLASS SIZES 194 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,681 AND EXTRA GARBAGE PICK-UPS AND PIE FOR EVERYONE. 195 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:36,884 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT PLAN AND I'D SIGN UP IMMEDIATELY 196 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,518 IF YOU WEREN'T A COMPLETE LUNATIC. 197 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,754 JOSEPH LONGO IS NOT A LUNATIC. 198 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:44,592 JOE LONGO? YOU'RE JOE LONGO? 199 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,794 YOU RAN LEWIS'S COMMODITIES DIVISION. 200 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,663 - YOU MADE HIM MILLIONS. - LEGITIMATE MILLIONS, YEAH. 201 00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,132 THAT YOUR BASTARD BROTHER-IN-LAW PISSED AWAY! 202 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,668 SORRY, HAPPY VISIT. 203 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:56,704 YEAH, YOU WENT ALL "BOLIVIA" THERE FOR A MINUTE. 204 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:59,673 YEAH YEAH. SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 205 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,775 MAYBE YOU COULD GET ME A JOB DOWNTOWN? 206 00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:04,011 THERE'S A HIRING FREEZE. 207 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,813 I'M REALLY SORRY YOU LOST YOUR JOB. 208 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:08,081 YEAH, THAT'S OLD NEWS. YESTERDAY I LOST MY CONDO. 209 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:09,617 YEAH, WELL, I REALLY NEED... 210 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,752 AND NOW... NOW THEY'RE ABOUT TO REPOSSESS MY CAR. 211 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,755 OH OH, BUT HERE... HERE IS THE MORNING'S BIG HEADLINE: 212 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:17,557 THE ADORABLE MRS. LONGO HAS DECAMPED TO HER MOTHER'S HOUSE. 213 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,092 ( chuckles ) GOD. 214 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,863 I'M REALLY GONNA MISS THAT CAR. 215 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:27,300 HOW CAN I PUT THIS NICELY? I'VE GOT MY OWN PROBLEMS. 216 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:30,738 - SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA HELP ME? - DO YOU LIVE IN MY DISTRICT? 217 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,806 NOW THAT I'M LIVING IN MY CAR, YEAH. 218 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,176 LOOK, I'VE GOT MEETINGS, A TRASH REVOLT, A KID ON THE BRINK 219 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,245 AND I'M IN DESPERATE NEED OF PROFESSIONAL HELP. 220 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,147 FOR THE HOUSEHOLD, NOT ME. 221 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,149 WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND ANYBODY THIS WAY. 222 00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,017 THIS SALARY SUCKS. 223 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,953 IT'S LIVE-IN. IT INCLUDES MEALS... 224 00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:49,222 WHICH SHE'LL BE COOKING BECAUSE OTHERWISE PEOPLE WILL STARVE. 225 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,625 SHE? IT HAS TO BE A WOMAN? 226 00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,727 ONLY VAGINO-AMERICANS NEED APPLY? 227 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:59,199 PERSONAL QUESTION: DID YOUR HAIR GET SICK OF YOU AND LEAVE? 228 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,068 THIS IS A CHOICE. 229 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,106 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK. 230 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,075 WE BOTH KNOW THAT'S A LOW-BALL OFFER, ALL RIGHT? 231 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,844 SO COME ON, WHAT'S... WHAT'S YOUR TOP NUMBER THERE? 232 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,847 - THAT IS MY TOP NUMBER. - ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOT A DEAL, BUT I CAN'T START TILL MONDAY. 233 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:16,016 - WHO OFFERED YOU A JOB? - ALL RIGHT, I CAN START TODAY. 234 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,751 I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO MOVE A FEW THINGS AROUND. 235 00:10:17,785 --> 00:10:21,621 MOSTLY, MY CAR. TUESDAY IS STREET CLEANING, ISN'T IT? 236 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,024 YOU DO KNOW WE'RE TALKING ABOUT A NANNY HERE, RIGHT? 237 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,259 THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED. YOU EVER WORK WITH KIDS? 238 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,628 ARE YOU KIDDING? RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE I RAN A YOUTH CENTER DOWNTOWN. 239 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:29,863 I WAS IN CHARGE OF 50 TEENAGERS... 240 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,799 COOKED 'EM MEALS, HELPED 'EM WITH THEIR HOMEWORK. 241 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,835 I WAS CHARLES FRICKIN' IN CHARGE. 242 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,039 YEAH, YOU'RE PERFECT. THERE'S ONE LITTLE DETAIL: 243 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:40,708 I DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU. 244 00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:42,609 ( door opens ) 245 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,378 YOU KNOW THAT SCHOOL BUS? NOT RUNNING TODAY. 246 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:48,849 JACKSON STREET'S BLOCKED BECAUSE OF SOME KIND OF GARBAGE PROTEST. 247 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,818 CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP! 248 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,820 OH, I MEAN, GOLLY, TOUGH BREAK. 249 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:56,323 OKAY I'LL TAKE YOU. I'LL JUST MISS MY MEETING. 250 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,225 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE WE NEED THE POLICE DEPARTMENT. 251 00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,193 NO NO NO NO, YOU'LL MAKE YOUR MEETING. I'LL TAKE HIM. 252 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,762 - HEY, I'M JOE. - HI. 253 00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:05,265 SEE THAT PORSCHE OUT THERE? YEAH, IT'S MINE... 254 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,400 FOR 10 MORE DAYS. 255 00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:11,204 - SWEET. - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT... 256 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,873 OH, SCREW IT. BUCKLE UP! 257 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,979 ISN'T THAT THE CUTE YELLING GUY FROM YESTERDAY? 258 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,248 YEAH, HE'S A HOMELESS COMMODITIES TRADER. 259 00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:24,785 HE'S TAKING CARE OF THE KIDS. HOW HIGH DO I SOUND RIGHT NOW? 260 00:11:30,457 --> 00:11:32,893 RHONDA, BOTTOM LINE: SHE SOUNDS GREAT. 261 00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,762 THE PERFECT NANNY. 262 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:36,329 YOU WERE RIGHT. I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE. 263 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,832 WHAT, THE COMMODITIES TRADER? 264 00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:40,367 NO, HE'S JUST TEMPORARY. 265 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,668 AND HE'S NOT CUTE. 266 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,437 NO, HE'S NOT. HE HAS NO HAIR. 267 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,339 OKAY, BEFORE WE PULL THE NANNY TRIGGER, 268 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,141 - WHEN DO I INTERVIEW THIS LADY? - HELLO 269 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,377 - UH, HOLD ON A SEC. - HEY, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING: 270 00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,813 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME ANYBODY DID ANY THE LAUNDRY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD? 271 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:56,784 - YOU PEOPLE LIVE LIKE PIGS. - THESE ARE MY DELICATES! 272 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,752 HOW DID YOU GET MY DELICATES? WERE YOU IN MY ROOM? 273 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,487 ( chuckles ) YEAH. 274 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,758 - PULL THE TRIGGER. - HEY, JOE, YOU WERE RIGHT. 275 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,827 I SHOULD HAVE THAT SANDWICH NOW. 276 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,862 - HEY, MEL. - ALL RIGHT, GET BACK UP THERE! 277 00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,297 WHAT IS HE DOING HOME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY? 278 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,265 - HIS HISTORY PAPER. - WHAT?! 279 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,802 WOW. ALL RIGHT, PACK THE VEINS BACK IN YOUR FOREHEAD. 280 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:17,004 I TOOK THE KID TO SCHOOL, RIGHT, 281 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,171 AND HE TELLS ME HE DIDN'T HAVE HIS HISTORY PAPER. 282 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,840 SO WE DRIVE BACK HERE TO GET IT 283 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,809 AND THEN HE TELLS ME HE DIDN'T EXACTLY WRITE IT. 284 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,310 AND I SAID, "WELL, YOU'D BETTER EXACTLY WRITE IT BECAUSE IT'S DUE TODAY." 285 00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,711 SO HE'S UP THERE WRITING IT NOW. 286 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,815 AND HE DOESN'T COME OUT UNTIL IT'S DONE. HUH? 287 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:30,417 NOW THAT'S... THAT'S NANNYING. 288 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,220 YOU BROUGHT HIM HOME? 289 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,022 YOU DON'T BRING A KID HOME WHO HASN'T DONE HIS WORK. 290 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,124 YOU LEAVE HIM AT SCHOOL TO GET YELLED AT, WHICH IS WHAT HE'S GOT COMING! 291 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,158 WHAT KIND OF RULES ARE THOSE? 292 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,793 THE RULES THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS! 293 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,261 I'M SOMEBODY. I NEVER HEARD THEM. 294 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,832 LENNOX, YOU READY?! TIME TO GO! 295 00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:46,967 - SHE'S NOT HERE. - WHERE IS SHE? 296 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,936 - YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH HER. - YOU NEVER SAID THAT. 297 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,905 BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUS. THE GIRL GOT SUSPENDED! 298 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,841 SHE'S GONE. SHE DITCHED THE MEETING. 299 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,476 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. 300 00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:59,379 I JUST SAID YOU WERE RIGHT. THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT! 301 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,852 OKAY, SHE HAS THREE PLACES SHE USUALLY GOES AFTER SCHOOL. 302 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:07,220 - I'LL JUST... I'LL START THERE. - YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU? 303 00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:10,423 YES. PLEASE DO... NOTHING. 304 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,029 I'M OKAY! 305 00:13:16,063 --> 00:13:17,865 ( laptop chimes ) 306 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,842 I CAN WORK WITH THIS KID. 307 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,924 WOW. 308 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,326 IS THIS WHERE YOU COME FOR YOUR ADOLESCENT BROODING? 309 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,496 YOU COME UP HERE TO TURN ME IN? 310 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:52,165 THAT'S NOT REALLY MY STYLE. 311 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,901 WHAT IS YOUR STYLE? 312 00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:57,971 OUTLAW. CAST OUT BY THE POWER BROKERS. 313 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,909 FORCED TO LIVE A LIFE IN THE SHADOWS. 314 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:03,576 OH, KIND OF LIKE BATMAN 315 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,946 IF HE'D BEEN DEMOTED TO A NANNY. 316 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:07,447 NICE. 317 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,183 AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE AT A MEETING 318 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,152 AT YOUR PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE RIGHT NOW? 319 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,256 WHY SHOULD I? CRAP GOES ON THERE ALL THE TIME. 320 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,557 MISS LUNT FIRES THE MUSIC TEACHER, 321 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,226 COMPLETELY GETS RID OF THE BAND 322 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,994 AND EVERYBODY'S AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT IT. 323 00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:23,830 I'M TIRED OF LIFE BEING UNFAIR. 324 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,565 HOW ABOUT FOR ONCE IT JUST BE FAIR? 325 00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:29,336 I'D BE UPSET TOO IF MY MOM AND DAD BAILED ON ME. 326 00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,972 I'M TALKING ABOUT MISS LUNT. 327 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,007 IF YOU SAY SO. 328 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:36,576 YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME. 329 00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,912 YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T. 330 00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,613 WHAT I REALLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU IS 331 00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,349 WHY YOU'RE TAKING THIS ALL OUT ON YOUR AUNT, 332 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,018 BECAUSE SHE'S THE ONLY PERSON WHO HASN'T BAILED ON YOU. 333 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:48,521 LOOK, I KNOW SHE CAN GET A LITTLE SKITZY AT TIMES... 334 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:52,025 ALL TIMES... 335 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:54,561 BUT SINCE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT FAIR, 336 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:57,998 DO YOU REALLY THINK IT'S FAIR THAT SHE HAS TO GO DOWN TO YOUR SCHOOL ALL ALONE 337 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:01,101 AND EAT YOUR BIG BOWL OF STINK FOR SOMETHING THAT SHE DIDN'T DO? 338 00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:04,938 "BIG BOWL OF STINK"? WHAT IS THAT? 339 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,941 YOU'LL KNOW WHEN YOU'VE EATEN ONE. 340 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,344 ANY SIGN OF OUR LENNOX? 341 00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:14,514 OH, MISS LUNT, LOOK. I KNOW WHAT LENNOX DID WAS BAD... 342 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,251 OKAY, REALLY REALLY BAD... 343 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:21,521 BUT IF ANY KID HAS THE RIGHT TO BE UPSET ABOUT WHAT LIFE'S HANDED HER... 344 00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,556 LOOK, I'M NOT TRYING TO EXCUSE LENNOX. 345 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,325 I'M JUST SAYING IF I WAS LENNOX, 346 00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:27,394 I'D PROBABLY WOULD HAVE DONE WORSE BY NOW. 347 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,229 IN FACT, I DID. 348 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,631 THIS IS POINTLESS WITHOUT LENNOX. 349 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,366 WHY DON'T WE JUST RESCHEDULE? 350 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,603 YOU THINK YOU COULD MANAGE TO FIND HER BY, SAY, TOMORROW AFTERNOON? 351 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,139 OH, TOMORROW'S CITY COUNCIL SESSIONS ALL DAY. 352 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:40,607 BUT WE TAKE LUNCH 12:00 TO 1:00. I DON'T KNOW WHEN YOU... 353 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,642 MISS BURKE, PARENTING DOESN'T FIT 354 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,644 INTO NICE LITTLE SCHEDULE BOXES. 355 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:48,581 IT MIGHT BE HELPFUL TO LOOK NOT JUST AT WHAT LENNOX IS DOING, 356 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:52,552 - BUT AT THE JOB YOU'RE DOING. - SHE'S DOING OKAY. 357 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,589 I'M SORRY I'M LATE. 358 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:59,259 AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THE OTHER DAY WITH THE POEM. 359 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,594 AND I'M SORRY ABOUT THE STUFF THAT I SAID. 360 00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:04,631 I WAS MAD, 361 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:07,000 AND APPARENTLY NOT REALLY AT YOU. 362 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,669 BUT THERE'S NO NEED TO BLAME MY AUNT. 363 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,538 SHE'S BEEN GETTING ENOUGH OF THAT FROM ME. 364 00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:15,142 AT LEAST SHE'S TRYING. OKAY, WHATEVER. 365 00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,044 LET'S JUST GET TO THE STINK-EATING PART. 366 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,718 THE WHAT-EATING PART? 367 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,689 ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE GOT. 368 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:39,299 HERE'S A THOUGHT, MY HIP YOUNG BROTHER-MAN: 369 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,168 TRY LOOSENING UP YOUR YOUR KNEES A LITTLE BIT. 370 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,142 YOU'RE WELCOME. 371 00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:54,081 HEY, I HEARD ABOUT ALL THE CRAP YOU'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH. 372 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,616 YOU KNOW, WITH YOUR WIFE, GOING BROKE, 373 00:16:56,649 --> 00:16:59,352 LOSING YOUR CAR, YOUR CONDO. 374 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,154 I MEAN, HOW CAN YOU EVEN WALK? 375 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,692 OH, SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO... 376 00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:07,294 NO NO NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 377 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:10,463 I'M AWARE THAT MY LIFE IS AN ABYSS OF INKY-BLACK DESPAIR. 378 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,332 THANKS FOR THE PEP TALK. 379 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:20,039 HEY, COULD YOU SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT? 380 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,741 ONLY IF YOU TAPED IT. I HAVE NO IDEA. 381 00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,177 - ( door closes ) - Mel: RYDER! JOE! 382 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:26,713 OH, YOUR MOM'S HOME. 383 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:33,186 I'M SORRY. YOUR... YOUR AUNT. 384 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,688 I... I MEANT YOUR AUNT. 385 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:40,227 - HEY. - SO I ATE MY WHOLE BIG BOWL OF STINK. 386 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:42,795 - WHOO! - I EVEN WENT BACK FOR SECONDS, 387 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:46,133 SO I'M GONNA GO BRUSH MY TEETH NOW. 388 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,137 AH! HANDS. 389 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,139 IT WAS YOU? 390 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:53,806 YOU TALKED HER INTO GOING DOWN THERE. 391 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,442 HOW DID YOU TALK HER INTO GOING DOWN THERE? 392 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,577 PEOPLE LIKE ME. 393 00:17:57,610 --> 00:18:00,380 - NO, REALLY. - I PAID HER 50 BUCKS. 394 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,682 A BRIBE?! THAT'S TERRIBLE! 395 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:05,084 NOT ONLY IS THAT WRONG, THAT'S HORRIBLE PARENTING! 396 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,619 WELL, I'M NOT A PARENT AND NEITHER ARE YOU. 397 00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,422 - CAN I HAVE 50 BUCKS? - Both: NO. 398 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,791 RELAX, ALL RIGHT? I WROTE LENNOX A PERSONAL CHECK. 399 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,627 BOING. 400 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,630 ANOTHER VERY VALUABLE LIFE LESSON. 401 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,732 SO IS THIS HOW YOU RAN YOUR YOUTH CENTER RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE? 402 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:22,101 OH PLEASE, THERE WAS NO YOUTH CENTER. 403 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,637 CAN I SPEAK TO YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM? 404 00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:27,674 - NICE KNOWING YOU. - OH, I'LL BE FINE. 405 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:30,543 YOU LIE, YOU BRIBE. 406 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:31,844 IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WON'T DO? 407 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,347 WINDOWS. ( laughs ) 408 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,683 LOOK, BURKE, 409 00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,551 I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT HERE. 410 00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:41,288 I MAY HAVE PLAYED IT FAST AND LOOSE, 411 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,756 BUT LENNOX APOLOGIZED TO THAT LUNT WOMAN, RIGHT? 412 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,094 YES. YES, SHE DID. 413 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,230 SHE ALSO, AS IT HAPPENS, 414 00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:51,731 SAID A FEW NICE THINGS ABOUT ME... 415 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,434 IN FRONT OF ME. 416 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,637 IT'S FIRST TIME SINCE SHE'S BEEN HERE. 417 00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,240 FRANKLY, IT TOOK MY BREATH AWAY. 418 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,675 OH MY GOD, YOU DIDN'T PAY HER TO DO THAT TOO, DID YOU? 419 00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:07,380 NO, SHE GAVE YOU THAT ONE FREE OF CHARGE. 420 00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:11,218 ALTHOUGH IT MAY BE MY MERE PRESENCE IN THIS HOUSEHOLD 421 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:14,187 THAT'S SORT OF SEAMLESSLY PULLING EVERYTHING TOGETHER. 422 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:17,757 HMM. YEAH, LET'S BELIEVE THAT. 423 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,460 OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. 424 00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:23,230 A REGENCY NANNIES CALLED. 425 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,398 THEY SAID MRS. DIETRICH IS AVAILABLE 426 00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:28,401 AND THAT SHE'LL BE HERE 8:00 A.M. TOMORROW MORNING. 427 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,803 YOU DIDN'T THINK I COULD HANDLE THIS, DID YOU? 428 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,607 TO BE HONEST, NO. 429 00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,743 NOT UNTIL YOU... 430 00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,711 PULLED ALL THAT 431 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:40,747 COMPETENCE OUT OF YOUR ASS. 432 00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:45,485 SO IS THIS OFFICIAL NOW? 433 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,488 BECAUSE IF NOT, I CAN JUST... 434 00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,425 HOP IN MY HOUSE AND DRIVE AWAY. 435 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:58,398 YEAH. LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT. 436 00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,699 HOW BAD COULD YOU BE? 437 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,802 YOU'LL FIND OUT, WON'T YOU? 438 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:29,729 SO HOW'D YOUR DATE GO THAT LASTED TILL 3:00 FRICKIN' A.M.? 439 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:32,599 LEAVE ME ALONE, MOM. IT'S NOT A SCHOOL NIGHT. 440 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:35,234 AND HE WAS CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM. GOD! 441 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,771 WOW. I JUST REALIZED 442 00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,740 I'VE NEVER HAD THAT CONVERSATION WITH MY OWN MOM. 443 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,910 I'D COME IN AT 3:00 A.M. AND SHE'D SEND ME BACK OUT FOR GIN. 444 00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:47,814 SO HOW'D THE KIDS GET TO BED? 445 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,649 RYDER KNOCKED OUT ABOUT 11:00 446 00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,385 - AND LENNOX WAS 1:30. - 1:30?! 447 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:56,222 ALL RIGHT, SHE JUST GOT IN BED NOW WHEN SHE HEARD THE CAR PULL UP. 448 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,658 BUT SHE'S CAUGHT UP ON BIO AND MATH. 449 00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,727 AND THE FIFTH SEASON OF "LOST." 450 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,797 - ( trash can rattles ) - Man: GARBAGE DELIVERY, COUNCIL BABE! 451 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:07,634 THAT DOES IT! 452 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,705 HEY, BUTT-FACE, DID YOU FORGET SOMETHING?! 453 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,442 - ( thuds ) - ( tires screech ) 454 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:16,576 - Man: HEY! - ( car door opens ) 455 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,745 HOLY NUTS, THAT GUY'S HUGE. 456 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,586 HEY, MEL. MEL, THIS GU... 457 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,588 I'M NOT KIDDING. THIS GUY'S HUGE, MEL. 458 00:21:29,889 --> 00:21:31,891 ( theme music playing ) 35607

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