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00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,931
[ music ]
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00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:11,275
♪ I'm in the money...
3
00:00:11,275 --> 00:00:12,620
♪ I'm in the money...
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00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:14,068
HOWDEE VOICE:
Howdee y'alllll!
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00:00:14,068 --> 00:00:15,931
- I hear you.
HOWDEE VOICE: Welcome to Howdee,
6
00:00:15,931 --> 00:00:18,206
where celebrities record
personal messages for money.
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00:00:18,206 --> 00:00:20,517
Your Howdee message to--
- Let's go. I hate this part.
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00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:22,586
HOWDEE VOICE: "Tiffany," is
about to record in...
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00:00:22,586 --> 00:00:24,275
- I just really need to get this
done let's go s'go--
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00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:27,724
Heyyyyyyyyy, Tiffany.
What's zappenin'?
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00:00:27,724 --> 00:00:28,965
I heard you're getting
your tonsils outtie
12
00:00:28,965 --> 00:00:30,655
like a belly button...
13
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,586
I just want to say that you're
as cool as those ice chips
14
00:00:32,586 --> 00:00:34,862
you're going to be eating
for a while. So Tiffany...
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00:00:34,862 --> 00:00:36,379
stay sparky.
16
00:00:36,379 --> 00:00:39,827
RAY: Uhhhh, whatcha
doin' there, Sparky?
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00:00:39,827 --> 00:00:41,275
- Nothing.
18
00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:46,137
- Oh, soo you skipped out on
apple picking for nothing?
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00:00:46,137 --> 00:00:47,482
- Yep.
- You promised me
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00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:48,758
you'd be there.
- I know.
21
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,965
- But you weren't there.
- I know.
22
00:00:50,965 --> 00:00:54,206
- A promise is something
one can never break.
23
00:00:54,206 --> 00:00:56,034
Bones? Sure.
24
00:00:56,034 --> 00:00:58,965
Hearts? Daily.
25
00:00:58,965 --> 00:01:02,379
Teeth? I think we all know
the answer to that one.
26
00:01:02,379 --> 00:01:04,034
But promises?
27
00:01:04,034 --> 00:01:05,965
Never.
28
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:07,551
- Well maybe she can come
with us next time--
29
00:01:07,551 --> 00:01:08,482
- Anybody else
could have skipped,
30
00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:09,551
I would have been fine with it!
31
00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:11,068
- Wow.
- Offensive.
32
00:01:11,068 --> 00:01:13,862
- Mika? She made it
an apple picking competition.
33
00:01:13,862 --> 00:01:16,034
- Which I won.
Not that it matters.
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00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,344
It matters.
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00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,586
- Miles? Miles just
wandered around
36
00:01:19,586 --> 00:01:21,448
waiting for
"the apples to pick him."
37
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,965
- My life is about the journey,
not the results.
38
00:01:23,965 --> 00:01:27,103
- Yeah, well your journey
resulted in zero apples.
39
00:01:27,103 --> 00:01:30,206
- False.
40
00:01:30,206 --> 00:01:31,724
- And Bose?
41
00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:34,413
Actually, Sweet Bose and I had
some really good talks.
42
00:01:34,413 --> 00:01:38,137
- Your grandma loves you, she
just doesn't know how to say it.
43
00:01:38,137 --> 00:01:40,137
- But gol-DANGIT, Chapa!
44
00:01:40,137 --> 00:01:42,413
You're my second favorite!
45
00:01:42,413 --> 00:01:43,586
- So I'm your favorite?
46
00:01:43,586 --> 00:01:46,931
- Oh, no. My favorite's me.
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00:01:46,931 --> 00:01:50,931
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going go take a bath,
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00:01:50,931 --> 00:01:53,310
eat some apples,
and pen a handwritten letter
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00:01:53,310 --> 00:01:55,413
to my grandmother.
50
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:58,137
[ in unison ]
- No!
51
00:01:58,137 --> 00:01:59,827
- What was that?
- What?
52
00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,551
- That's you're first bite
of an apple?
53
00:02:01,551 --> 00:02:04,241
- 'Course.
Stem first, butt second.
54
00:02:04,241 --> 00:02:06,931
- Oh my god!
- Why?
55
00:02:06,931 --> 00:02:09,241
- This is how
everybody eats apples!
56
00:02:09,241 --> 00:02:10,517
Top, bottom, then the core,
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00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:11,586
after that
you'll want some more.
58
00:02:11,586 --> 00:02:12,965
Who is teaching you kids?
59
00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,517
- You are!
- Absolutely no one.
60
00:02:14,517 --> 00:02:16,034
- You know what.
61
00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:18,413
Normally I'd want to
stick around and chat.
62
00:02:18,413 --> 00:02:21,103
But you know.
Today?
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00:02:21,103 --> 00:02:23,275
Today, I don't.
64
00:02:23,275 --> 00:02:25,241
Today, I don't.
65
00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:27,655
- So what were you doing wi--
- Today, I don't.
66
00:02:27,655 --> 00:02:29,758
- Just take your bath, Ray.
67
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,586
- What the actual drip?
68
00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:44,310
- Yeah what's going on?
69
00:02:44,310 --> 00:02:45,758
Why are you so rich right now?
70
00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:48,551
- You look like a million
dollars threw up on you.
71
00:02:48,551 --> 00:02:50,241
- What are you guys
talking about?
72
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:51,413
These shoes?!
73
00:02:51,413 --> 00:02:53,137
[ Miles, Bose and Mika ]
- Dangggg!
74
00:02:53,137 --> 00:02:54,517
- These pants?!
75
00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:56,137
[ Miles, Bose and Mika ]
- Doppppe!
76
00:02:56,137 --> 00:02:57,310
- THIS JACKET?!
77
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,000
[ Miles and Bose ]
- Swettttt!
78
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,448
- Seriously, where'd you
get the money for this lewk?
79
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,482
MILES: Yeah, spill it!
80
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,655
- Oh, I wanna be rich!
81
00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,206
- Okay I'll tell you
82
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:07,000
but I don't want you to be
all weird about it.
83
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,000
- We won't be!
- No judgment.
84
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:13,206
- I can't judge.
Never learned how.
85
00:03:13,206 --> 00:03:15,448
- I've been making videos
for people on Howdee.
86
00:03:15,448 --> 00:03:18,689
- EWWWWWWW!
- I judge you!
87
00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:20,206
- What's so bad about Howdee?
88
00:03:20,206 --> 00:03:23,689
People pay me money
to brighten someone's day.
89
00:03:23,689 --> 00:03:26,068
- We don't charge people
to send them good vibes.
90
00:03:26,068 --> 00:03:29,068
We're superheroes.
- And we're a team.
91
00:03:29,068 --> 00:03:32,379
So when you do stuff just for
money it makes us all look bad.
92
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,965
- I see what this is about.
93
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,310
Y'all are jelly.
94
00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:37,758
Jelly of this drip.
95
00:03:37,758 --> 00:03:39,344
- [ scoffs ]
Ha ha. The only jelly I am
96
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,448
is the apple jelly I'm going
home to make right now.
97
00:03:42,448 --> 00:03:43,896
- Savage.
98
00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:45,551
- Wait I thought we were making
apple cider.
99
00:03:45,551 --> 00:03:47,137
We are, but I'm not "cider"
of her drip
100
00:03:47,137 --> 00:03:49,172
so "jelly" worked better.
101
00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:52,517
I need you to "Yes, and" me.
We've talked about this.
102
00:03:52,517 --> 00:03:54,103
[ banjo music ]
103
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:56,000
HOWDEE VOICE:
Howdeee y'allllll!
104
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,655
- Sorry, peasants. I'm 'bout to
get paid in the shade
105
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,068
drinkin' lemonade to...
106
00:04:01,068 --> 00:04:04,827
cheer up little Scotty
'cuz his dog died.
107
00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:07,689
Ooo.
Can I have the room, please?
108
00:04:07,689 --> 00:04:09,655
[ mocking Chapa ]
- Can I have the room, please?
109
00:04:09,655 --> 00:04:13,103
- You're a peasant...
110
00:04:13,103 --> 00:04:15,000
Not even that popular.
111
00:04:22,172 --> 00:04:26,724
- Today, I don't.
112
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:29,551
- Noooo!
- Oh my god!
113
00:04:29,551 --> 00:04:31,689
- What?!
"Middle bite, with the peel,
114
00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,310
grow as tall as Shaq O'Neal."
115
00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:36,758
Sometimes I think you guys
were just raised by wolves...
116
00:04:36,758 --> 00:04:39,068
- I'm not, I'm not doing it.
117
00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:41,206
[ music ]
118
00:04:41,206 --> 00:04:42,586
- You ever see me
doing a Howdee video,
119
00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:43,724
you kick me in the zipper.
120
00:04:43,724 --> 00:04:45,310
Because that's an imposter.
121
00:04:45,310 --> 00:04:48,206
- You ever see me doing a Howdee
video, you shave my head.
122
00:04:48,206 --> 00:04:50,275
- [ gasps ]
But Miles, your hair is...
123
00:04:50,275 --> 00:04:54,896
- Thirty percent of my identity
and 50% of my body weight.
124
00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:56,620
- Y'know, when we sell
all this cider, we'll make...
125
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:59,758
like, five
maybe ten bucks.
126
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,517
- It ain't much,
but it's honest work.
127
00:05:02,517 --> 00:05:05,172
- May not be quick money,
but it's clean money.
128
00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,000
- Amen.
129
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:09,551
- Hey, kids...
130
00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:12,310
- Sup, Moms? Pops?
131
00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:15,206
- Your dad and I would like to
have a very important
132
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:17,793
and very personal discussion
with you.
133
00:05:17,793 --> 00:05:19,896
- But we're scared.
- Yeah.
134
00:05:19,896 --> 00:05:21,758
So we paid a local celebrity
on Howdee
135
00:05:21,758 --> 00:05:24,517
to have "the talk"
with you instead.
136
00:05:24,517 --> 00:05:26,310
- Wait, what talk?
137
00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:27,827
- Just watch this video!
138
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:29,862
La-la-la-la-la-la...
139
00:05:33,931 --> 00:05:36,000
- Hello, Angela
and Herman's kids.
140
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,896
It's Brainstorm
from Danger Force
141
00:05:37,896 --> 00:05:40,000
here to give you "the talk."
142
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,586
You see when a man and a woman
love each other very much...
143
00:05:42,586 --> 00:05:44,137
- Ahhhhhhh!
Stop stop stop stop stop.
144
00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:45,655
- Cut. Veto. Basta.
145
00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:48,206
- Kids, I know it's awkward
but just push on through!
146
00:05:48,206 --> 00:05:49,655
- No!
147
00:05:49,655 --> 00:05:52,413
- Mom. We already know where
baby twins come from.
148
00:05:52,413 --> 00:05:53,758
- We don't need "the talk."
149
00:05:53,758 --> 00:05:55,965
- Oh.
Well then this Howdee video
150
00:05:55,965 --> 00:05:58,448
was a waste of
eight-hundred-fifty dollars.
151
00:05:58,448 --> 00:06:01,862
[ in unison ]
- Eight-hundred and fifty dollars?!
152
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,379
- Yeah, it was a flash sale.
153
00:06:03,379 --> 00:06:06,241
Brainstorm usually charges
a thousand...
154
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,034
Herman why'd ya leave?
155
00:06:09,413 --> 00:06:12,000
- So we're doing Howdee, right?
- Yes and!
156
00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:17,655
- It all just kinda happened.
157
00:06:17,655 --> 00:06:20,620
[ kids all talking at once ]
158
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:21,655
- Stop talking!
159
00:06:21,655 --> 00:06:24,655
♪ Danger
160
00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:26,103
♪ Whoaaa-oooh
161
00:06:26,103 --> 00:06:27,172
♪ Whoaaa-oooh
162
00:06:27,172 --> 00:06:30,655
♪ Ooooh-ooooh
163
00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:31,655
♪ Danger!
164
00:06:31,655 --> 00:06:33,551
♪ One two three Force!
165
00:06:33,551 --> 00:06:35,344
[ kids in unison ]
- Emergency!
166
00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:38,689
- That's just the doorbell.
- I know.
167
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:43,586
[ music ]
168
00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:46,137
- Could not have been more wrong
about Howdee.
169
00:06:46,137 --> 00:06:47,586
- Ya welcome.
170
00:06:47,586 --> 00:06:50,827
- Remember when we were happy
with ten dollars...
171
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,896
- We have so many more
dollars now!
172
00:06:52,896 --> 00:06:56,068
- And I am so much more happy!
- Ya welcome.
173
00:06:56,068 --> 00:06:58,896
- Chapa I am so grateful that
you turned me on to Howdee
174
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:02,275
that I hired a superstar to send
you a "thank you message."
175
00:07:02,275 --> 00:07:03,689
HOWDEE VOICE:
You got a Howdee!
176
00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,862
From
ROBOT VOICE: Cardib.
177
00:07:05,862 --> 00:07:09,103
CARDI B: Ya boy Bose says
thank you, girl!
178
00:07:09,103 --> 00:07:12,517
Now get that schmoney
okurrrrr...
179
00:07:12,517 --> 00:07:13,758
- Aw, you didn't have to
do that.
180
00:07:13,758 --> 00:07:15,551
- It's cool -- I'm rich!
181
00:07:15,551 --> 00:07:18,344
- Ya welcome.
182
00:07:18,344 --> 00:07:21,310
- 'Sup, schoolios?
183
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:22,827
- What. Are.
You doing?
184
00:07:22,827 --> 00:07:24,517
- Even I know that's wrong.
185
00:07:24,517 --> 00:07:26,793
- What? "Turn it 'round,
bite the crust,
186
00:07:26,793 --> 00:07:28,862
that's a pizza you can trust.
187
00:07:28,862 --> 00:07:30,896
Then the cheese,
then the sauce--
188
00:07:30,896 --> 00:07:32,551
why are you guys all
so rich right now?
189
00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:34,344
- Howdeeeeee!
190
00:07:34,344 --> 00:07:35,758
- Loud and proud.
191
00:07:35,758 --> 00:07:37,206
- What.
- Howdee.
192
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,586
It's an app where people pay
celebrities
193
00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,172
to send them messages.
194
00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:41,551
- No, no, no, no, no,
please tell me you're not--
195
00:07:41,551 --> 00:07:44,931
- Howdee y'alllllll!
- Hey!
196
00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,241
- Are you kidding me?
197
00:07:46,241 --> 00:07:48,000
- Hey, thanks for signing me up,
you guys.
198
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,931
I finally paid off
my student debt!
199
00:07:49,931 --> 00:07:51,931
[ kids in unison ]
- Ya welcome.
200
00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:53,000
- How are you on Howdee?!
201
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,482
You're not a Swell-lebrity.
202
00:07:54,482 --> 00:07:58,206
- On Howdee I am "The Cupid."
203
00:07:58,206 --> 00:07:59,344
Hello!
204
00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:02,448
This is a message of
looooove...
205
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:05,068
From Chris to Mike--
206
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,655
- That's ridiculous.
Who would pay you for that?
207
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:10,241
- I just told you, Chris and--
208
00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:12,724
- Schwoz is actually the most
popular celebrity on Howdee.
209
00:08:12,724 --> 00:08:14,724
- NO.
210
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:15,827
- Check out the big board.
211
00:08:15,827 --> 00:08:19,172
He's on top.
212
00:08:19,172 --> 00:08:20,586
- NO NO NO NO NO.
213
00:08:20,586 --> 00:08:22,551
- I heard Howdee is trying to
get Joey Lawrence
214
00:08:22,551 --> 00:08:23,655
to sign up and make videos.
215
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,827
- Joey Lawrence?
216
00:08:25,827 --> 00:08:29,206
- Aw, not Joey Lawrence!
217
00:08:29,206 --> 00:08:30,448
- What's so funny?
218
00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:33,172
- Joey Lawrence and Captain Man
have beef.
219
00:08:33,172 --> 00:08:35,275
- You have beef
with the Joey Lawrence?
220
00:08:35,275 --> 00:08:37,620
- The Joey Lawrence
that was on "Blossom?"
221
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:39,310
- The Joey Lawrence
that had a brief
222
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,103
but stellar career as a singer?
223
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,551
- The Joey half
of "Melissa & Joey?"
224
00:08:42,551 --> 00:08:44,000
RAY: The same.
225
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,586
He thinks he's got a better
jawline than me
226
00:08:45,586 --> 00:08:47,517
which he doesn't.
227
00:08:47,517 --> 00:08:49,310
- He's got a great jawline, Ray.
228
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:51,551
- And it's like thirty percent
of his identity. Right here...
229
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:53,620
CHAPA: It's low key though
and it's like pretty nice.
230
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,206
- Alright quiet! How do I start
selling myself on Howdee?
231
00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:59,034
- Just download the app.
- I'm gonna do this.
232
00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:01,172
Stupid Joey Lawrence
and his stupid perfect jawline
233
00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:03,034
and stupid Schwoz can't be
number one see this is
234
00:09:03,034 --> 00:09:04,620
exactly why people shouldn't
have the right to vote.
235
00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,275
- Ohhhh. Come at me, bro.
236
00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:08,241
- I'm gonna beat you Schwoz,
and that's a promise.
237
00:09:08,241 --> 00:09:10,551
A promise is something
I never break.
238
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,965
Bones?
Sure.
239
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,241
- Are we competing?
- Hearts? Daily.
240
00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,000
- Is this a competition?
- Teeth?
241
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,689
I think we all know
the answer to that.
242
00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:20,068
- I SAID,
"IS THIS A COMPETITION?!"
243
00:09:20,068 --> 00:09:22,103
- Has she always been
this competitive?
244
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,103
- Six years ago, I jokingly said
that I could say "fishsticks"
245
00:09:24,103 --> 00:09:25,793
more than she could.
- Fishsticks.
246
00:09:25,793 --> 00:09:27,655
- So now, every time
I say fishsticks-- - Fishsticks.
247
00:09:27,655 --> 00:09:28,896
- She has to say
fishsticks, too.
248
00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:30,034
- Fishsticks fishticks
fishticks
249
00:09:30,034 --> 00:09:32,310
are we competing on Howdee
or not?!
250
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,344
VOLT: I already am.
251
00:09:34,344 --> 00:09:36,482
Hey Omar, I heard you got yelled
at by a writer today.
252
00:09:36,482 --> 00:09:40,068
Tough break, buddy. No one likes
getting screamed at.
253
00:09:40,068 --> 00:09:42,034
- Ahhhh!
254
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,206
- But sometimes a little "shock"
to the system
255
00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:51,724
can really get ya going again.
Stay sparky!
256
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:53,068
- Heyyyyyy Sabrina!
257
00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:55,034
It's me ShoutOut here
to give you...
258
00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:56,413
a shoutout!
Heh heh...
259
00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:57,896
- Heyyyyyy, Winston.
It's ya girl Volt
260
00:09:57,896 --> 00:10:00,655
AKA Lil Sparky
AKA Spark Wahlburg...
261
00:10:00,655 --> 00:10:03,413
- Heyyyyyy, Mrs. Feldstein!
262
00:10:03,413 --> 00:10:05,827
It's AWOL with A message.
263
00:10:05,827 --> 00:10:07,551
- Heyyyyyy, insert name here!
264
00:10:07,551 --> 00:10:11,862
It's B to the Rainstorm wishing
you a happy B to the Ar Mitzvah.
265
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:15,241
Your rabbi loves you
soooooo much!
266
00:10:15,241 --> 00:10:16,379
That's weird.
267
00:10:16,379 --> 00:10:18,448
Forgot a "t"
at the end of "rabbit."
268
00:10:18,448 --> 00:10:21,137
- Heyyyyy there, Velinda!
269
00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:23,034
What kind of a name is that?
270
00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:25,793
Your parents couldn't decide
between Valerie and Belinda?
271
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:29,000
- Heyyyyy Kylie.
It's me, Cupid!
272
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,275
This message
is from Travis who says
273
00:10:31,275 --> 00:10:34,344
he's "sorry for the things
he said when he was hangry."
274
00:10:34,344 --> 00:10:39,689
So don't be a cupid idiot
and take him back!
275
00:10:39,689 --> 00:10:41,206
He he he!
276
00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:43,310
- ...so don't forget to
"live life out loud!"”
277
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,793
ShoutOut... out!
278
00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:48,586
- It's AWOL sayin'
"peace y'all!"
279
00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:50,517
- Stay sparky!
280
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,137
- My catchphrase!
Bye.
281
00:10:53,137 --> 00:10:58,379
- What ever happened to Emily?
You know, simple, American.
282
00:10:58,379 --> 00:11:00,241
Anyway, you know who I am.
You're welcome.
283
00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:02,655
Happy Birthday.
Change your name.
284
00:11:02,655 --> 00:11:04,586
Alright, I'm done with this.
285
00:11:04,586 --> 00:11:07,862
[ music ]
286
00:11:07,862 --> 00:11:09,103
- and don't worry, Conan.
287
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:11,275
Tonight's taping
is gonna be great.
288
00:11:11,275 --> 00:11:13,517
Tell Andy I said,
"Hold the cheese!"
289
00:11:13,517 --> 00:11:17,275
He'll know what I mean...
stay sparky.
290
00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:18,517
[ banjo music ]
291
00:11:18,517 --> 00:11:21,931
- She's a machine.
- We can't let her win!
292
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,379
- I am literally
doing that right now.
293
00:11:23,379 --> 00:11:24,793
- No!
294
00:11:24,793 --> 00:11:26,620
- She's starting another...
295
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:28,344
- What's up, Gaperman? This is
your fellow electro-cutie,
296
00:11:28,344 --> 00:11:30,172
Volt, tellin' you
that usually people
297
00:11:30,172 --> 00:11:32,620
don't buy these for themselves,
but you do you, boo.
298
00:11:32,620 --> 00:11:34,034
- She can't win!
299
00:11:34,034 --> 00:11:35,379
- ...I don't know
if you got confused
300
00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:36,793
and clicked the wrong button
or something--
301
00:11:36,793 --> 00:11:37,793
[ super-screams ]
302
00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,793
- Ow! What the heck, Mika?!
303
00:11:39,793 --> 00:11:41,482
- I won't let you win, Chapa!
304
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:43,034
- We're usin'
too many names here.
305
00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:44,275
[ in unison ]
- Shut up, Miles!
306
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,379
- That's three.
307
00:11:45,379 --> 00:11:47,758
- We sayin' names?
- What? No.
308
00:11:47,758 --> 00:11:49,862
- I'm Bose!
309
00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:51,103
- Dude!
What are you doing?!
310
00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:52,448
- Stopping your Howdee.
311
00:11:52,448 --> 00:11:53,862
That was a complete fail!
312
00:11:53,862 --> 00:11:55,206
- Oooh!
Volt made a fail vid?
313
00:11:55,206 --> 00:11:56,931
Full send!
- No, no, no don't!
314
00:11:56,931 --> 00:11:58,482
Don't! Wait!
- I'm Captain Man
315
00:11:58,482 --> 00:12:00,862
I sends what I wants!
- Please! Ray, please.
316
00:12:00,862 --> 00:12:03,379
- You don't--
- And now simply to send!
317
00:12:03,379 --> 00:12:04,517
[ banjo music ]
318
00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:06,068
[ Ray laughs ]
319
00:12:06,068 --> 00:12:08,896
Let's see who's number one
after that.
320
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:12,551
Yeah.
321
00:12:12,551 --> 00:12:14,413
Why am I the only one laughing?
322
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:18,310
- Because that "fail video"
revealed all of our identities.
323
00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:20,379
- In one video?
324
00:12:20,379 --> 00:12:22,586
That's some
efficient stupidity.
325
00:12:22,586 --> 00:12:24,965
- It was a message
for Mary Gaperman.
326
00:12:24,965 --> 00:12:28,620
- Who does the news on KLVY.
327
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:29,931
- Even worse!
328
00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:31,172
- Why are you laughing?
329
00:12:31,172 --> 00:12:35,000
- To hide the pain...
330
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,275
[ all laughing ]
331
00:12:42,586 --> 00:12:46,379
[ all still laughing ]
332
00:12:46,379 --> 00:12:48,379
- Seriously how are we
going to fix this?
333
00:12:48,379 --> 00:12:50,310
That video is going to
completely un-secret
334
00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:51,448
our secret identities.
335
00:12:51,448 --> 00:12:53,275
- There may be a way
to fix this.
336
00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:55,068
- There's no way to fix this.
- You just asked if there was.
337
00:12:55,068 --> 00:12:57,586
- That was seconds ago,
I still had hope.
338
00:12:57,586 --> 00:12:59,896
- Hey, this says the messages
don't go directly to the recipient.
339
00:12:59,896 --> 00:13:01,551
They go to
the Howdee Server Farm,
340
00:13:01,551 --> 00:13:04,310
where they get processed for
about six hours before delivery.
341
00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:07,034
- Oh! Then let's head to
the Howdee Server Farm.
342
00:13:07,034 --> 00:13:08,689
- Ooooh!
I love farms!
343
00:13:08,689 --> 00:13:11,448
The cows, the crops,
the old time mom and pop feel...
344
00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:13,517
- No, no, no, Bose... that's not
what server farms are.
345
00:13:13,517 --> 00:13:15,758
Server farms are these
like giant warehouses
346
00:13:15,758 --> 00:13:18,896
full of big computers and
they're run by young Tech Bros
347
00:13:18,896 --> 00:13:20,482
with names like "Jace"
and "Sean."
348
00:13:20,482 --> 00:13:22,000
They're not real farms.
349
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,586
- Actually, it's a real farm.
- Oh, come on.
350
00:13:23,586 --> 00:13:25,448
- It says here that the Howdee
Servers are a family farm
351
00:13:25,448 --> 00:13:27,000
run by Maw and Paw Howdee.
352
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,000
They give tours on weekends
where each guest gets a free mug
353
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,344
of their signature warm butter.
If you ask me
354
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,310
that sounds pretty good,
if you ask me.
355
00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:35,137
- I've never had it before,
but I'm open to new things.
356
00:13:35,137 --> 00:13:37,000
- Okay, fine. I'll go.
But I'm going for punching.
357
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,344
I ain't drinking no warm butter
from Maw and Paw Howdee.
358
00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:41,517
[ music ]
359
00:13:41,517 --> 00:13:43,413
CAPTAIN MAN: Ooo! Ooo!
Me me me me me!
360
00:13:43,413 --> 00:13:47,206
- No need to clamor.
Plenty 'a buttah to go around.
361
00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:51,448
- That's right. At our farm,
buttah grows on trees.
362
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,310
- Mm. Soo goooood...
363
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,275
- Wait doesn't butter
come from cows?
364
00:13:55,275 --> 00:13:58,103
- Here at Howdee Farms
we do things...
365
00:13:58,103 --> 00:13:59,862
a little differently.
366
00:13:59,862 --> 00:14:01,827
Y'see, years ago,
367
00:14:01,827 --> 00:14:05,965
my great grandpappy
J.W.W. Howdee
368
00:14:05,965 --> 00:14:08,206
struck internet right'chere.
369
00:14:08,206 --> 00:14:12,758
Evah since then, we been a
simple buttah and internet farm.
370
00:14:12,758 --> 00:14:14,379
- Hey, how do you farm internet?
371
00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:17,379
- Well, when somebody makes
a Howdee vidja,
372
00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:20,413
it goes through
this ole gal, Bessie.
373
00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:26,586
- That stands for "Bi-Electronic
Server System Internet Etc."
374
00:14:26,586 --> 00:14:30,862
Oop! Looks like a vidja
is almost ready to be streamed.
375
00:14:30,862 --> 00:14:33,448
- I am learning so much today.
- Same!
376
00:14:33,448 --> 00:14:37,034
- I'm gonna forget it allll.
- Same!
377
00:14:37,034 --> 00:14:39,000
- When a vidja is ready,
378
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,931
we squeeze it
outta these here wires
379
00:14:41,931 --> 00:14:43,482
into these here buckets.
380
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:46,000
Then we pour it into
that there internet crick
381
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,275
where it's streamed
to the world.
382
00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:51,517
- So that's why
it's called streaming!
383
00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:53,793
- That's right, son.
384
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:57,482
Clearly you're the smart one.
385
00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:59,206
- I guess I am.
386
00:14:59,206 --> 00:15:01,413
- Ugh, my tummy
is so full of buttah.
387
00:15:01,413 --> 00:15:03,000
- Oh, if you're not gonna
finish that.
388
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,517
- No, I am, I am.
I'm going to finish it.
389
00:15:06,517 --> 00:15:07,896
No no.
390
00:15:07,896 --> 00:15:09,379
VOLT ON VIDEO:
What the heck, Mika.
391
00:15:09,379 --> 00:15:11,034
MIKA ON VIDEO:
I won't let you win, Chapa.
392
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:13,448
- Wait a second,
that's our video!
393
00:15:13,448 --> 00:15:15,275
- Yeah, that's actually
why we're here.
394
00:15:15,275 --> 00:15:16,724
- Oh, no need to explain.
395
00:15:16,724 --> 00:15:20,655
- You celebritahs
always come to Howdee Farms
396
00:15:20,655 --> 00:15:22,068
for the same reason.
397
00:15:22,068 --> 00:15:24,137
- You sent out
an embarrassing vidja
398
00:15:24,137 --> 00:15:27,103
and you find yourself
in a dill of a pickle.
399
00:15:27,103 --> 00:15:29,275
- Maw and Paw will
take care of you.
400
00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:31,172
- Aw thank you. That's really
sweet I appreciate you.
401
00:15:31,172 --> 00:15:34,827
- Nice people.
- I love ya'll.
402
00:15:34,827 --> 00:15:36,275
Why are they chuckling?
403
00:15:36,275 --> 00:15:38,586
- I dunno.
Probably about to turn bad.
404
00:15:38,586 --> 00:15:41,827
- Yeah, I'm afraid
there's a sick turn comin'.
405
00:15:41,827 --> 00:15:43,931
- Y'all gonna do
something for us,
406
00:15:43,931 --> 00:15:45,827
or your vidja's
gonna get streamed
407
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:48,551
to the whorld whide wheb.
408
00:15:48,551 --> 00:15:50,586
- Backslash get wrecked.
409
00:15:50,586 --> 00:15:52,068
- Hold that dab, Paw!
410
00:15:52,068 --> 00:15:55,344
'Cuz we don't negotiate
with vid-nappers.
411
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:57,689
Nice.
412
00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,103
We punch 'em.
413
00:15:59,103 --> 00:16:01,379
Wooooof. One second.
414
00:16:01,379 --> 00:16:04,344
Oh, man. I shouldn't have had
that fifth mug of buttah.
415
00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:06,068
- When did you have
a fifth mug--
416
00:16:06,068 --> 00:16:07,965
- Don't worry about it.
417
00:16:07,965 --> 00:16:12,689
Danger For-- Danger Force --
ATTACK!
418
00:16:12,689 --> 00:16:14,413
- Grrrrr.
Hold on.
419
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:15,241
- Ahhhhh!
420
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,413
[ Maw and Paw laugh ]
421
00:16:17,413 --> 00:16:19,448
- Ahhhh-ohh.
- So much dairy.
422
00:16:19,448 --> 00:16:22,206
SHOUTOUT: My stomach
huuuuurts...
423
00:16:22,206 --> 00:16:24,275
- Can't... spark...
- That's the buttah, baby.
424
00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:27,137
It makes it awful hard
to do your powers.
425
00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:29,000
- I think the phrase
you're lookin' for is...
426
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,034
Ruh Roh.
- Whoo! Get wrecked!
427
00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,172
[ Captain Man
and Danger Force groan ]
428
00:16:35,172 --> 00:16:38,137
- Okay.
You've had your dabs.
429
00:16:38,137 --> 00:16:39,655
What do you want from us?
430
00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:43,344
- Does the name "Joey Lawrence"
mean anything to you?
431
00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:48,517
- You know, the actor, producer,
singer, poet,
432
00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:51,448
ten time winner of America's
Next Top Jaw...
433
00:16:51,448 --> 00:16:54,000
- His jawline is not better
than mine!!!
434
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,344
- Ah, so you do know him.
435
00:16:56,344 --> 00:16:58,000
- What do you want with
Joey Lawrence?
436
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:02,724
- Why, he's only the most
popular celebrity in Swellview.
437
00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:03,931
- He is not!
438
00:17:03,931 --> 00:17:05,655
- But he won't return our calls.
439
00:17:05,655 --> 00:17:10,689
- So we want you to convince
Joey Lawrence to join Howdee.
440
00:17:10,689 --> 00:17:15,068
We want him making vidjas,
sending messages,
441
00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:19,068
flashing that million dollar
jawline...
442
00:17:19,068 --> 00:17:20,379
[ groans ]
443
00:17:20,379 --> 00:17:22,931
- You get us a nice,
big filet of J...
444
00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:26,344
we'll erase that vidja for ya.
445
00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,793
- Maybe you didn't hear me, Paw.
446
00:17:28,793 --> 00:17:29,965
I don't negotiate with--
447
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,241
AWOL: He'll do it.
- What?
448
00:17:31,241 --> 00:17:32,793
- You're gonna do it.
Go do it.
449
00:17:32,793 --> 00:17:34,103
- What? No. I will not--
450
00:17:34,103 --> 00:17:36,206
- Do you want me to chant?
451
00:17:36,206 --> 00:17:38,103
- Don't you dare!
452
00:17:38,103 --> 00:17:41,206
- Kid Danger once told me
that he can't resist a chant.
453
00:17:41,206 --> 00:17:43,241
- He was lying!
He's a known liar!
454
00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:44,586
[ ShoutOut chanting ]
- Make the call.
455
00:17:44,586 --> 00:17:45,862
- No.
456
00:17:45,862 --> 00:17:47,034
[ Danger Force chanting ]
- Make the call.
457
00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:48,344
- Don't do that.
458
00:17:48,344 --> 00:17:49,724
[ Danger Force chanting ]
- Make the call.
459
00:17:49,724 --> 00:17:51,482
- C'mon guys don't do
the chant thing.
460
00:17:51,482 --> 00:17:53,000
[ all except Captain Man ]
- Make the call. Make the call.
461
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,275
Oh will you please--
you want me to make the call?
462
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:57,896
I'll call make the call.
- Make the call!
463
00:17:57,896 --> 00:18:00,448
- I'll do it right now.
464
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:01,862
Call him on this here pohone.
465
00:18:01,862 --> 00:18:03,896
Ohh!
I'm dialing!
466
00:18:03,896 --> 00:18:05,931
It's ringing!
467
00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:07,275
Lawrence, you BUM!
468
00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,379
IT'S CAPTAIN MAN!
469
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:09,379
[ Danger Force cheers ]
470
00:18:09,379 --> 00:18:12,827
SHOUTOUT: Whoo!
- Yes.
471
00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:15,310
- There's no way he's gonna get
Joey Lawrence to join.
472
00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:17,413
- They hate each other.
473
00:18:19,034 --> 00:18:20,551
- We gotta tip the cow.
474
00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:21,724
[ Brainstorm, ShoutOut
and Volt ] - Hm?
475
00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:23,551
- We gotta tip the cow.
476
00:18:23,551 --> 00:18:27,275
If we tip BESSIE
we destroy their server,
477
00:18:27,275 --> 00:18:31,275
our video,
and their whole dirty business.
478
00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:33,379
- Then let's do it!
479
00:18:35,689 --> 00:18:37,103
We didn't do it.
480
00:18:37,103 --> 00:18:40,000
- Our bellies are too full
of buttah.
481
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,206
AWOL: Hey Mika.
482
00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:45,103
Whoever can tip the cow...
wins.
483
00:18:45,103 --> 00:18:46,413
- Wins?
484
00:18:46,413 --> 00:18:49,413
- That's right.
This is a competition.
485
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:54,068
- I'mma tip that cow.
486
00:18:54,068 --> 00:18:57,068
- Just like Ray
can't resist a chant,
487
00:18:57,068 --> 00:18:59,413
Mika can't resist a competition.
488
00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:00,689
- I'm gonna beat you
to it, girl.
489
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:01,896
- No you're not!
490
00:19:01,896 --> 00:19:03,275
- Second place
is the first loser!
491
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:06,172
- You're the first loser.
- Savage.
492
00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:08,689
- I don't think
you can do it, sis.
493
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,068
You don't have
the scream in you.
494
00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:14,103
- Yes I--
495
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:18,724
[ super-burps ]
496
00:19:30,931 --> 00:19:33,241
- Wow.
497
00:19:33,241 --> 00:19:35,344
BESSIE: Moooooo...
498
00:19:43,172 --> 00:19:44,620
- I... win.
499
00:19:44,620 --> 00:19:48,241
- Ooo! What in the actual hecks
happened hee-yuh?!
500
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:49,482
- Bessie, NO!!!
501
00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:52,206
Stay with me, girl!
Stay with me!
502
00:19:52,206 --> 00:19:55,310
BESSIE: Mooooooooo...
503
00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:58,758
- Our vidjas.
Our precious vidjas.
504
00:19:58,758 --> 00:20:00,655
Destroyed!
505
00:20:00,655 --> 00:20:04,379
All our honest, clean work.
506
00:20:04,379 --> 00:20:06,241
- Your work wasn't honest!
507
00:20:06,241 --> 00:20:08,620
- Or clean!
- Or honest!
508
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,068
- You will never hold someone's
embarrassing vidja
509
00:20:11,068 --> 00:20:15,103
hostage ever again.
510
00:20:15,103 --> 00:20:17,482
- And so, in conclusion,
Joseph.
511
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:20,344
I do not like you,
at all.
512
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:23,827
But I will agree to be
a human piñata
513
00:20:23,827 --> 00:20:26,344
at your daughter's
tenth birthday party.
514
00:20:26,344 --> 00:20:27,689
Yes, in the Man's Nest.
515
00:20:27,689 --> 00:20:30,172
And that comes with
the Captain Man promise.
516
00:20:30,172 --> 00:20:33,275
Click.
517
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,827
What'd I miss?
518
00:20:35,827 --> 00:20:39,103
Oh, hey! Somebody wrecked
the computer cow!
519
00:20:39,103 --> 00:20:42,689
Looks like Captain Man
is off the hook!
520
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:44,517
- Wow.
- What?
521
00:20:44,517 --> 00:20:47,689
- A promise is something
you can never break.
522
00:20:47,689 --> 00:20:49,620
- Bones? Sure.
523
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,241
- Hearts? Daily.
524
00:20:51,241 --> 00:20:53,586
- Teeth? Definitely.
525
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,103
- But promises?
526
00:20:55,103 --> 00:20:57,310
[ Danger Force in unison ]
- Never.
527
00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:59,448
- I don't like you children.
528
00:21:01,413 --> 00:21:03,965
[ music ]
529
00:21:03,965 --> 00:21:06,517
- Ahhh! Okay, new rule!
530
00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:10,586
Ahhh! Promises are
hereby breakable.
531
00:21:10,586 --> 00:21:13,379
OWW!
532
00:21:13,379 --> 00:21:14,586
There.
- I wanna hit him next.
533
00:21:14,586 --> 00:21:15,827
- No, no. I get to hit him!
534
00:21:15,827 --> 00:21:17,689
I won the cow tipping
competition!
535
00:21:17,689 --> 00:21:20,137
- That was a fake competition
to get you to do all the work.
536
00:21:20,137 --> 00:21:23,344
- [ gasps ]
Brilliant.
537
00:21:23,344 --> 00:21:26,931
- Guys, this warm buttah
did not travel well.
538
00:21:26,931 --> 00:21:28,172
- Then don't drink it.
539
00:21:28,172 --> 00:21:31,034
- Oh I'm still drinkin' it.
540
00:21:31,034 --> 00:21:32,379
[ toilet flushes ]
541
00:21:32,379 --> 00:21:33,827
[ AWOL gasps ]
542
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:35,896
- That sounded like
the signature toilet flush
543
00:21:35,896 --> 00:21:39,724
of TV's Joey Lawrence!
544
00:21:39,724 --> 00:21:41,034
- It sure was!
545
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:44,448
[ everyone applauds ]
546
00:21:44,448 --> 00:21:47,586
- Booooo!
You call that a jawline?!
547
00:21:47,586 --> 00:21:51,517
Jabba the Hutt's got
a better jawline than you!
548
00:21:51,517 --> 00:21:54,379
- Have all the kids
gotten a chance to hit you yet?
549
00:21:54,379 --> 00:21:56,172
- Not yet.
- Great, then it's my turn.
550
00:21:56,172 --> 00:21:59,344
I'm about to take some swats...
of that pin-yatts.
551
00:21:59,344 --> 00:22:01,862
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
552
00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:03,896
- Ahhh! Owww!
553
00:22:03,896 --> 00:22:08,000
Oww! Oww! Ah!
554
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,344
- Hit him again!
555
00:22:13,310 --> 00:22:15,551
♪ Always on the scene
in the nick of time ♪
556
00:22:15,551 --> 00:22:18,206
♪ The second I see trouble
I know I'll be fine ♪
557
00:22:18,206 --> 00:22:20,965
♪ I'm okay
558
00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:24,000
♪ I'm okaaaay!
559
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,000
♪ Danger
560
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,103
♪ Whoaaa-oooh
561
00:22:28,103 --> 00:22:29,413
♪ Whoaaa-oooh
562
00:22:29,413 --> 00:22:33,103
♪ Ooooh-ooooh
563
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:34,103
♪ Danger!
564
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:35,448
♪ One two three Force!
565
00:22:35,498 --> 00:22:40,048
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