Original subtitles

( whistles )

* Some say I'm just a kid *

* But I stand tall like a pyramid *

*One day I'll be mythic *

* Read about it in hieroglyphics *

*Ah-ee-ah-ah-oh *

* It's written in the stars, I'm who I'm gonna be *

* I'm takin' on the world this time *

* It's written in the stars of all that I can be *

* I feel the power in my heart *

* It's written in the stars *

( music playing )

- Aaah! - Don't worry, team.

It's just an itty-bitty space storm.

- ( bang ) - Like I said,

it's just an itty-bitty, giant space hurricane.

( laughs ) NBD.

- ( Brian grunting ) -( beeping )

Cleo? Our hyperdrive is broken! This doesn't look good.

Look at the bright side, Brian.

At least we're out of fuel,

or we lost our reserve oxygen tank.

Oh, uh, those are bad things.

Maybe we wouldn't be in such a mess

if our pilot would keep her eyes on the space!

Khensu, relax!

Why can't you just trust me like Akila and Brian do?

- Uh-uh. - No, no, no, no, no.

We can't outrun the storm. According to the protocol,

we should send out a distress signal

and say goodbye to our loved ones.

I added the second part just in case.

Or...we could hide behind an asteroid

and let the storm pass by.

No, Cleo. That's absolutely against protocol.

I wasbornagainst protocol!

Yeah, I don't know what that means, either.

Khensu: Cleo, what are you doing?!

Cleo: Saving our bacon.

- You see, I-- I-- -( alarm beeping )

I-- Yi--

( all screaming )

( buzzer )

( whimpering )

( sighs ) Whoa!

What did you think you were doing, Cleo?!

If that were a real mission, you would have gotten us killed!

Argh, Khensu, I don't like it

when you get all cranky like this.

I don't need you to like me, Cleo!

I need you tolistento me.

( sighs ) I'm only being tough on you

to prepare you for bigger things.

This virtual mission was supposed to be the test

that earned you enough merits to graduate to Level 2 missions.

- ( all gasp ) - Yes!

Level 2, baby! I know we can do it!

What's Level 2?

- Uh... - Level 2 missions,

we'll have more tasks and responsibilities!

Iloveresponsibilities!

Almost as much as I love tasks.

Plus, with Level 2,

we'll have access to higher-clearance tech.

I can't wait to get my hands on some omnidirectional multiphase nano-emitters!

( Brian squealing )

Not even gonna pretend to know what that means,

but I will say,

Level 2 sounds like it's one better than Level 1,

- so I'm in! - Khensu: However...

- ( all groan ) - Why is there always a "however"?

Since youfailedthis test,

you're still a few merits short.

So in order to qualify you for Level 2, I'm giving you

the assignment of mentoring some younger students.

Mentoring? So, like...

walkin' around aimlessly in circles?

That'smeandering.

Totally knew that.

Hmm. Let's go meet your mentees

before I realize I've made a huge mistake.

Khensu: Right.

You'll be mentoring Dennis.

Please note, Dennis is allergic to--

Everything!

And he's afraid of...

Also everything!

Waaah!

( fly screeches )

( Dennis whimpers )

You're my kind of guy, Dennis!

- Fist bump? - ( gasps )

Oh, seems risky.

- Akila. - Whoooo!

You are paired with Omnia.

Omnia! Hey!

( giggles ) Love what you've done with your atmosphere!

Thanks. I've been using a newairspray.

( Omnia, Akila laughing )

Khensu: Cleo...

you get...Philo.

Actually, I prefer to go by "Philo Style,"

"Classic Philo,"

or "P to the Hilo."

Good luck, Cleo. You'll need it.

Khensu, please.

I know how to handle kids.

See, the key is to act super cool so they like you.

I just have to make sure I'm Philo's bestest buddy.

Actually, the key is to set clear boundaries and--

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Khen-dawg.

We got this on lockdown, man.

Nevercall me "Khen-dawg" again.

Copy that, K-Daddy.

- ( Cleo laughing ) - ( Khensu sighs )

( laughing )

Wow!

You've got quite the attitude, Philo.

I think we're gonna get along.

Level 2, here I come, baby!

Now, Philo, the key to throwing a Quaser Star

is to keep your eye on the target, and--

Yeah, whatevs.

Philo's got this.

- Uhh-yah! - Aaah!

( crash )

- Nailed it! - Wow.

Heh. You're a bit of a handful, huh?

Hey, that's what my last nine mentors said!

Wait. How many mentors have you gone through?

Around 20, if you count the seven still in comas.

( gasps )

Ha ha ha! I gotcha so good!

Only five are in comas.

Aah!

Heh. Heh-heh.

How about we switch to something

with slightly fewer pointy sticks?

( music playing )

Unh!

( grunting )

Cleo: Eh. Now, Philo,

the trick to using an anti-gravity belt

is to make sure--

- ( footsteps ) - Philo?

Philo?

Aaaah!

Philo! Where's your belt?!

It's not safe without one!

Belt, schmelt. Check it out, Cleo!

No hands!

Whoo-hoo!

Ha! Caught ya.

Philo for the win.

Icaughtyou!

I'm still catching you right now.

Snap! Lemme climbthatone!

( zapping noises )

Um, no. You maynotclimb

the Quaser Razor Knife Wall of Ultimate Doom.

- What is wrong with you?! - More like what is wrong withyou?

- Oh, I know. You're boring. - Uh, what?

* You're b-b-b-b-boring *

* B-to-the-O-U-R-E-A-M

* Boring!

OK, first of all,

remind me to mentor your spelling.

Secondly, I've been called manythings in my life--

"Messy," "reckless," "good at remembering things I've been called"--

but never once have I ever been called--

( gagging )

--"boring."

Well, youare.

I thought you were a cool mentor,

but you're just like all the rest of 'em.

Booooring!

- Am not! - Oh, yeah?

Then why don't you just prove it?

( gasps )

Nee-nee.

Arrgh.

Hmm.

Who's boring now?

Just to clarify, that was a rhetorical question,

and the correct answer is "not me," because I am objectively not boring!

I mean, it's OK, I guess,

but it would be more okay-er if you let me drive.

Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha! No.

( yawns )

( sighs ) OK, fine.

- But only if-- -( vehicle beeps )

What? Aah!

Philo: Whoo-hoo!

Philo!!!

Philo: Restricted air space, whoo!

( sirens wail )

Philo, we can't be up here!

( sirens )

Uh-oh, the po-po!

- Ha ha! - Ohh.

Pull over, Philo.

Whatever you say!

Not what I meant!

Philo: Whoa!

I've got some fans!

( Cleo screams )

( sirens continue )

You need to be more like Philo Style

and learn to chillax.

I know how to chillax. I am very chillaxed.

I'm extremely chillaxed right now!!!

( both scream )

Cleo: Unh!

Aaah!

Whoo! Ha ha ha!

Did you see how I stopped just in time?

- Classic Philo. - No, Philo,

it wasnotclassic!

If you'd only followed protocol,

we wouldn'tbein this mess.

Yeesh. You sound like Khensu.

Huh? Right.

Because I'm blabbing on and on

about rules and protocol, I--

Huh? Omigosh.

Idosound like Khensu.

You're turning me into Khensu?!

Noooo!!!

Nooooo!!!

Philo, you and I need space.

And not the restricted air kind.

I'm gonna go commiserate-- er, I mean, consult-- with my friends.

Heh. You stay here, don't touch anything or do anything

or say anything or say anything anythinanything till I get back.

But I'll be bored!

( cries )

Heeere.

You can play FishKaboom.

Now stay put and I'll be right back.

Cleo! What's up?

Brian. This mentoring thingy, it's the worst, right?

Are you kidding? It's great!

Hi!

Dennis likes staying inside where it's safe, too,

so... no offense,

but we're basically best friends now.

- Arrghh. - Hmm?

Akila! Oh, please,

tell me I'm not the only one failing mentoring!

Akila's the best mentor ever!

Omigosh. Omnia, you aresogood at compliments!

No,you'reso good at compliments.

- No, you! - No, you!

( both giggling )

( sighs )

Omnia and I have somuch in common.

Maybe she's my long-lost sister.

Um, she's a planet, so probs not.

Ah, but enough about me. How's it going with Philo?

Ohh! Terrible!

At this rate, I'm never gonna get to Level 2.

Philo doesn't like me. He thinks I'm...boring.

( glass shattering )

Hmm. Well, maybe be more like Khensu

and not worry whether Philo likes you.

Or,I could be nothing like boring Khensu

and try harder to get Philo to like me.

I will control him through the power of my coolness!

And I will reach Level 2-- this I swear!

Why do you care so much about Level 2?!

Because I'm very competitive.

I'm more competitive than you, and I'll prove it.

You can't beat me!

( video game noises )

( sighs )

Play it cool, Cleo.

Cooool.

Yo, Philo, my dude!

Congrats on not getting yourself arrested while I was gone.

- What did I miss? - Not much.

Just a message from Khensu.

He said it was extremely urgent or whatever.

- Huh! - Argh!

Khensu: I'm sending you on a mission

to the Ancient Temple of Grool

on the moon of Naqada,

where you must obtain

the Lost Book of Hapros.

Wait. That's all he said?

Yeah, he seemed too grumpy to say more.

Hmm.

That does sound like Khensu.

So what's the deal? We goin' on this mission,

or are you tooboring?

That depends....

on whether you're toolame to come along.

Philo: Yahoo!

( clears throat )

"Beware visitors, and heed our--"

Argh! Bor-ing!

Philo! "Something something traps and lairs...

something something don't step on the blue tiles...

something something unendurable torture."

Philo! Hold up! Wait for me!

- Yo, Philo. - Whoooaaah...

Not to be boring or anything,

'cause I'mnot,

but you might want to be careful.

The plaque says something about only stepping on blue tiles.

( grunts ) See?

- Robotic voice: Intruder! Intruder... -( alarm wailing )

Or maybe it said something aboutnotstepping on the blue tiles.

Whoa. This just got legit dangerous.

Cool!

( nervous ) Heh. So cool.

Uh, 'sup, fellas?

Philo? Get behind me!

-( zapping ) - Ouch?

Huh! Ow! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Quit it!

( loud clank, rumbling )

Doesn't it seem like we got away from those zappy guys way too easy?

Who cares? This place is sick!

Yo, check it! The Lost Book of Whatever!

This be a job for Philo Style.

Careful, Philo. There could be booby traps or--

- Philo! - Whoa!

( rocks clatter )

Yah-ha-ha! Totally knew that was there.

Well, if we had followed protocol,

we would have brought rope and anti-grav belts

to get across.

Seeing as we didn't,

how about I'll get the book, and you stay right--

- Philo! - Wheeee!

Yahhh!

Boom! Check me out.

Neat. Let's get outta here

before you pull another Classic Philo.

Both: Whoooaahh!

- ( thud ) - Uhhh!

Whoo! Ha ha!

Oh, man, that was epic!

Ha ha ha! Did you see yourself up there?

You were all like, "Waah! Waaah! Waaah!"

And I was all like, "Woop woop woop!"

Come on. We're climbing outta here.

- ( clank ) - Cleo: Huh?

( zapping )

Sweet.

A laser trap!

Pyoo-pyoo! Pyoo-pyoo-pyoo!

Philo! I have officially had enough of your attitude!

We are stuck on a remote planet

with no prep, no info,

and no one even knows we're here!

This is not sweet-- this is stupid!

Why are you being such a lamey lame-o?

Yeesh! To think,

I was finally starting to like you.

I don't need you to like me.

I need you tolistento me.

( gasps ) Yeah. Iamturning into Khensu.

And do you know what? I'm OK with that.

Turns out Khensu was right not to worry whether I liked him.

If he did, I'd never learn a thing.

Khensu: Did I just hear you say "Khensu was right"?

( gasps ) Khensu!

Not sure if I heard you correctly. What was that you said?

You were right!

( recording ):You were right.

You were right. You were right.

Like my new ringtone?

So uncool.

Now, illuminate me.

Why on Mayet are you two here?!

What?! Because you send us here!

And to be honest, it's making me seriously doubt your judgement.

I didn't send you here.

I just tracked your ship when I realized it was missing!

Khensu: ...on the moon of Naqada

where you must obtain the Lost Book of Hapros.

( gasps ) Wait. Who did I call?

Oops. Is this Cleo's tab?

Cleo, donotgo on this Level 2 mission.

I repeat, do not--

Argh.

I-I was just messing around.

Come on. Where's the love?

Oh, I think it's time for Classic Philo to get some classic tough love!

( gulps )

Khensu: While I understand the impulse,

we still have to get you out of there.

- Whoa! - I'll hack into the security system.

Meanwhile, you two stay put, follow protocol,

and don't touch anything!

But Ilovetouching things!

( both sigh )

( laughing )

I'm not touching this.

Not touching this either.

Whoa. Whoa.

Not touching. Not touching.

Arggh! Can you cut it out with the not touching things, Philo?

What's that you say? "Stop not touching things"?

- OK! -( alarm blares )

( door rattling )

Ha! Looks like P-to-the-Hilo just got our ticket outta here.

Not so sure about that.

Chillax. It's just a statue.

( buzzing )

- Uh... - Uh!

I think chillaxing time is over.

Waah!

- ( roaring ) - ( both scream )

Khensu! Any ideas?

Find a place to hide.

I'll try to deactivate the guardian

through the computer system.

Copy that.

- Oh! - Whew!

Both: Aaah!

Hiding is proving to be a--

( roars )

--a little difficult!

- ( roaring ) - Aaaah!

( computer beeping )

Blast it! I've hit a firewall!

Oh. What a coincidence.

Khensu: It appears the dragon can only be shut down manually.

There must be some kind of off switch.

( dragon growls )

Good news: Think I found the off switch.

Bad news: I'm gonna have to break protocol to get to it.

Ohh. Do what you have to do.

Philo, I need you to listen to me

like your life depends on it.

Aaah!

- Because it totally does! - ( whimpers )

You need to run to that open space and distract the dragon.

What?! How?!

Just be your normal self.

That oughta be irritating enough.

( dragon roars )

Hey. Trust me.

We're gonna be OK.

Whew.

( growls )

Philo: Waah! Look at me!

I'm a dumb rock dragon!

I have super-tiny army-warmys!

( growls )

( groans )

- ( roars ) - Whoa!

- ( jaws snapping ) - Wow.

Is there anyone that kiddoesn'tannoy?

Aaah!

Aaah! Hup! Hup! Too fast for you, rock head!

Whoo!

( Cleo grunting )

Why does this neck have to be so long?!

Waaah! I'm so dumb

I don't even know there's someone on my neck.

- ( growls ) - Philoooo!

Ha ha. Um... Classic Philo?

Cleo: Uhh! Uhh! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Aah!

Ahh! Yahh!

Aaah!

Aaaaaah!

( grunting )

Whooo. Uhh!

Aaaah!

Whoooooaaah...

( Cleo grunting )

-( buzzes ) - Ha-ha-ha!

Take that.

Oops. I did not think this through.

- ( dragon powers down ) - Cleo?

Cleo, are you there?

Cleo style.

( whooshing )

-( zapping ) - Ow.

Oh, yeah. He had that comin'.

-( zapping continues ) - Philo: Ouch!

Cleo: Khensu,

please give me another chance to pass the mentorship test.

I had no idea how hard it would be.

No wonder you're so crabby.

I'll take that as compliment,

and I'm happy to say you actuallydidpass your mentorship test.

What-- Really?

Yes. You proved yourself to be a true leader.

Welcome to Level 2.

Now perhaps I can dispense with my back-seat driving.

Yahoooo!

Level 2! Level 2! Level 2!

-( alarm beeping ) - Watch out, Cleo!

Both: Whew!

I'll just stick with the back-seat driving

- for the time being. - Fair. Fair, fair.

Philo: All right, guys,

I'm done mopping the ship.

Totally nailed it Philo Style.

Lovely.

And when we get back to the base,

you can mop up everyothership at the Academy.

Oh. While you're back there,

maybe give the bathroom another once-over.

Argghh!

Hmm. Mentoring's not all bad.

It most definitely is not.

Philo: Hey. What does this button do?

I'm gonna touch it.

( alarm wails )

Cleo, Khensu: Philo!

( music playing )