Original subtitles

previously on boston legal ...

What the hell is this?

It says the firm is going broke.

(alan) the firm is going broke?

Did i know this and forget?

You're in the early stages of alzheimer's.

We're not talking about precursors anymore.

There's a drug called dimebolin. Something like that.

You can't have it. It's not f.d.a. Approved.

Even a dying patient has no constitutional right

To experimental treatment.

So now what?

We go to the state supreme court.

They said no.

Any appeal?

Well, to the u.s. Supreme court.

Will you marry me?

I would love to marry you.

We're going back to the supreme court!

Oh!

Supreme court! Supreme court! Supreme court!

Supreme court! Supreme court!

(instrumental version of "deck the halls" playing)

(elevator bell dings)

Ah, what's up?

All i know is they've reached a tentative deal,

And they need us to sign off before--

We merged?

Evidently. We'll know more in a second.

Where are we going?

28th floor. They're all waiting.

Who?

(ding)

Wh- where's-- where's edwin?

Doesn't he have to sign off?

I'm told he was called.

What does this mean to us, or specifically, me?

I don't know the details, denny.

Let's just hear what they have to say.

What the hell is this?

Shirley schmidt and denny crane,

I'd like you to meet hyung lee and zhu chang.

Hello.

They're all chinese.

Denny, mr. Chang is the c.e.o.

Of the tsu chang international group.

They've recently acquired finlay cravette,

A law firm you know well.

They are now expanding to acquire crane, poole & schmidt.

What are you talking about?

I thought we were Merging with finlay.

Yes, finlay is now really tsu international.

Any of you yahoos Speak english?

I speak english, Mr. Crane.

Oh, good for you.

Who are these guys?

Denny, your abrupt Litigation style is legendary.

You need not put it on display.

Are you telling me we're being bought out by the chinese?

Uh, the good news is,

They intend to keep on most of the attorneys here,

So as transitions go--

Yeah, i've seen their transitions in tibet.

I'm not a fan.

We're not selling out to a bunch of commies.

Denny --

How dare you?

What, you're not A bunch of commies(������Ա)

You're not getting my firm.

What? What? War talk? Bring it on.

Oh, really?

I think i managed to smooth things over.

This deal...

Paul, why didn't you tell me who you were negotiating with?

It's an extremely reputable group, shirley,

Not to mention liquid, which in this economy--

It's chinese.

Do you know how many businesses in this country

Are owned and operated by--

We don't have to be one of them.

Shirley... We don't have any other bidders.

We have about three weeks before we can't make payroll--

Paul...

This firm is my legacy. My name is on the plaque.

And i don't have to remind you of china's track record

In human rights.

You're talking about the government.

This is a private company.

There have to be alternatives.

There aren't.

Shirley schmidt.

What?

What's the address?

Okay.

Thank you.

Denny's been arrested.

What?

It's 1:00 in the morning.

Shirley schmidt and paul lewiston.

We represent denny crane. Where is he?

The den.

What happened?

He broke in

And sexually assaulted the woman who resides here.

What?

Sexually assaulted her?

He climbed into her bed while she was sleeping.

She broke free, called us.

(shirley) denny.

I called alan. Couldn't get him.

Denny, wh-- what have you done?

Well, this is just a misunderstanding.

This is, uh, penelope kimball's house.

She's a friend, a neighbor.

We have a kinda flirty relationship.

I-i thought i'd give her a christmas surprise.

I surprised her too much, i guess.

You climbed into her bed?

Well, i thought she'd like it. We have a kind of chemistry.

Not anymore, you don't.

Well, couldn't i just A-apologize to her and go home?

I don't think it's going to be that easy.

You're being charged with breaking and entering

And sexual assault.

Oh, please. Who do i make the check out to?

Denny, you are in serious trouble here.

Are you kidding me?

Oh, please. Everybody's overreacting.

Overreacting? You broke into a woman's house

In the middle of the night, climbing into her bed naked?

Well, i do that all the time.

Denny--

Look, i didn't break in.

The kitchen door was open. She's a friend.

And as for being naked--

I-i thought i was saving a little time. (laughs)

Look, the last time She and i spoke,

We talked about christmas And the gifts and the economy,

And i said," this year, i'm going as the little drummer boy.

Instead of presents, i'm gonna show up

And play my little instrument."

And she said, "oh, i'd like that."

And i mistook that for An invitation of sorts. Sorry.

Denny, we are scheduled

To go before The supreme court on friday.

Alan, we got bigger problems than that.

What?

We're being b--

(lowered voice) we are being bought out by the chinese.

What are you talking about?

(normal voice) it's very hush-hush, but i'm telling you,

A chinese company has reached an agreement in principle

To buy us.

This place, last night, Was crawling with chinese.

Ho chi minh city, I kid you not.

Why would a chinese company

Want to buy An american law firm?

They're buying everything.

They're taking over.

Listen, h-how could you have not Been kept in the loop on this?

I was told they were a parent company of finlay.

I had no idea... Carl, i want to stop it.

Well, can we?

The only think i can think of Is an injunction ǿ����,

Trying to block it On public policy grounds.

Public policy?

Well, it can't be a good thing For chinese corporations

To be scooping up American law firms.

It's definitely Not good for us.

Well, all in all,

We picked a really bad week To get married.

(chuckles)

Ms. Schmidt, i'm penelope kimball.

We didn't actually get to meet last night.

No, i--th--carl sack, this is penelope kimball.

She was the victim of denny's--

Ah.

Last night. Please sit.

You know, i feel really, Really terrible

About all of this.

(shirley) well, we all do.

Um, denny's maintaining it was Some sort of misunderstanding.

Is that... Possible?

Denny didn't seem to understand Anything last night.

What do you mean?

He seemed extremely Disoriented and confused.

It--it wasn't...

It didn't seem like An assault of any kind

So much as...

He seemed really, Really confused,

Like... He didn't really know Where he was.

That's ridiculous.

I was in penelope kimball's bed Looking to play my instrument.

She's a very sexy lady.

You should be glad i didn't Climb into yours.

Denny, there's no point In lying to us.

I am not.

Denny, look at me.

Tell me what happened Last night.

I told you already.

Denny...

(voice breaks) I don't know what happened.

All of a sudden, The police were there.

I was in the wrong house...

And i wasn't wearing anything.

I don't know what happened.

I remember being upset at home. I-i couldn't sleep.

I was so worried About the communist invasion.

Next thing... I'm naked...

And i'm talking to police officers.

I don't even remember Talking to penelope.

I want that drug.

We go to the supreme court on friday.

???

???

The question becomes,

If they refused to hear almost Exactly the same case before,

Why are they suddenly Doing so now?

I don't know.

It's a bit daunting, Being in a room with them,

Even when they're just Cutout posters.

How are we doing?

(clears throat)

Well, there's no constitutional right

To experimental treatment.

We're gonna have to locate Authority elsewhere.

What about right to privacy?

Can we extend by analysis?

You can, but it's been tried before and rejected.

Medical self-defense?

Also tried with marijuana for medicinal purposes,

Also rejected.

What have you got?

We're still looking.

Alan, there are rumors about the firm being sold.

I don't have time for rumors right now, jerry.

(blows raspberry)

Look, shirley,

Why can't you get a line of credit to make payroll?

Line of credit?

Have you been living on this planet? Credit?

We have assets into the millions.

And liabilities in the tens of millions.

So you just make a deal with the devil?

That's the way you--

They are not the devil.

Yes, they are.

What, because they're chinese?

Yes.

You're a bigot.

(scoffs) i'm entitled to my opinion.

I realize i wouldn't be if i were in china.

You are out of line.

Paul, if this merger goes through, i will--

You can make your case to the partners.

I will take my name off the firm, paul.

Your name is firm property. You do not own it.

I'll go to court.

Fine. I'll wave to you from the other side.

Paul--

(door slams)

(scoffs) thanks For having my back, carl.

Shirley, dear, if you expect to have any success

With either the partners Or in court,

You're gonna have to check your prejudice at the door.

I have no problem

With the chinese people or chinese-americans,

But the government, which a lot of these companies are--

Yes, you know what?

I think you should check your anger at the door, too.

???

I spoke to the d.a.,

And they're dropping the charges against you.

How did you do that?

Well, it wasn't difficult, really.

Penelope also spoke to them, So...

Oh. Deep down, That woman wants me.

Do not go there tonight.

(sighs)

Thank you, alan.

Alan, i want to ask you something,

And, uh, you may think This is crazy,

But i want you to think about it.

Okay.

(chuckles)

Will you marry me?

I-i-i know the sex is lousy,

But... It's legal in massachusetts--

Same-sex marriage--

And there are going to be decisions ahead,

Medical decisions,

That a spouse... Gets to make

If i should become--

Denny, you can stipulate �涨that in a living will or by proxy������.

We don't need to get married.

There are other reasons.

Last night, i-i climbed into a neighbor's bed,

And i shot a few chinese,

Although i don't apologize For that.

How many times have i been arrested?

A lot.

And the odds on My getting arrested again

For who knows what, uh... I need To be able to tell you things.

But you can always--

No, let--let me finish first.

Although i know you'd resist,

The police could subpoena you

And try and force you to reveal Whatever i tell you.

I'd never--

You'd could be held in contempt If you refuse.

You could end up in jail.

On the other hand, if you had spousal privilege...

(chuckles)

I could talk to you without worrying

About you incriminating yourself later--

Denny.

For my peace of mind...

What little piece i have left.

Let's be serious.

And i can transfer property to you

Without paying gift tax. (laughs)

And since the rate is 100%--

Denny, what we've got now is so great.

Why... Ruin it with marriage?

Who knows how long i have left?

You have a long time left.

We're going to the supreme court,

And we're getting you that drug.

Seymore?

Aye.

Zinberg?

Aye.

Kennedy?

Aye.

Underwood?

Aye.

Evans?

Aye.

Smith?

Nay.

Xavier?

Aye.

Espenson?

(makes popping noise) Nay.

Adams?

Aye.

Reid?

Nay.

Thomason?

Aye.

Sack?

Nay.

Schmidt?

Nay.

Okay...

We've got 21 ayes and 6 nays.

The nays have it.

???

The motion to approve the merger--

The nays have it.

The merger has been approved.

I'll get an injunction.

We can get injunctions on our own, shirley.

Take your shot, paul.

Shirley, there are many ways to go out.

On your ass isn't one of the better ones.

You might keep that in mind, paul.

???

???

(men speaking indistinctly in foreign language)

Denny. Come on.

You for this merger, carl?

No, but this is a bit of a duress sale.

We don't want assistants and secretaries

Losing their homes.

God forbid you should have to sell your gulfstream.

Shirley going to court?

She is.

I'm coming with.

Well--

My name is on the door, too.

Understood, but we have to present a rational front.

(gunshot)

Give it to me.

???

Okay. Thank you.

Am i not supposed to see you before the big day?

(chuckles) You're not the groom.

Still time. (chuckles)

(chuckles)

I'm coming with you to fight the chinese.

Oh, no, d--oh, no, no.

Shirley...

No.

My absence will be conspicuous.

And much appreciated by all, since--

I won't shoot anybody. I--i'll keep my clothes on.

I'll... Well, i won't shoot anybody.

Denny, i can't take the risk.

Shirley, i'll behave. I belong at your side.

I'm a name partner.

God, you're beautiful.

Thank you.

I'm going to pack my trial bag.

(men speaking indistinctly in foreign language)

(screaming)

(panting) yes!

Yes!

Don't tell me. You love katie.

A federal case in newark recently granted a plaintiffԭ��

The right to use an experimental drug.

It's the most recent case on point.

I found it. Katie helped.

It's not binding, but it could explain

Why the supreme court agreed to hear us.

A new case?

I found it. Katie helped. (makes popping noise)

New case. I found it.

???

(elevator bell dings)

Wait a second.

You're here representing Crane, poole & schmidt.

And you're here...

Also representing crane, poole & schmidt,

And i would remind the court, I'm schmidt.

Your honor, the partnership voted overwhelmingly

To approve this merger.

It is lawful.

It is pursuant to a valid partnership agreement

Entered into by ms. Schmidt.

And it is against public policy.

Why? To have a business acquired by chinese interests?

You're a little late on the protest wagon

If that's what you're talking about.

Your honor, it is one thing for them to acquire

Manufacturing and software companies.

It's quite another to allow them

To have a death grip on our law firms, which --

Death grip?

Which are in the business

Of safeguarding our individual liberties--

Hey, counsel.

This does not scare you?

Shame on you.

Hold on. The law is the law.

If the chinese buy companies here,

Well, they have to play by our rules.

And if they don't want to play by our rules,

What more effective, insidious way to circumvent our laws

Than to gain control of america's law firms?

Your honor, this is just outrageous.

May i finish?

Shirley.

China is a lovely country.

I've always wanted to visit their... Walls.

But the idea of china coming here is terrifying.

I'm sorry.

Their record on human rights is atrocious.

They do not support freedom of speech,

Freedom of religion.

The do support sudan,

Which enables them to contribute to the genocide in darfur.

They turn a blind eye to female infanticide.

They force abortion. They practice torture.

China's economy will overtake ours.

That's not even a question.

They have so much money invested here now...

Uh, add to that the devaluation of our dollar,

They practically own us already.

Their goal is to become a civilizational power,

And they have the wealth to achieve that.

Let them buy up all our lawyers... (chuckles)

And watch out.

I do not want to fall into their hands.

And by the way, it is folly to think we will control them

With our laws.

It is ludicrous to think

We'll be tough on their human rights violations

Because we haven't been.

And why? (chuckles) because they own us.

As hillary clinton said,

How do you get tough with your banker?

I... I understand That the united states

May end up working for china one day.

I get that. It's a new world order.

But...

As far as law firms go...

(voice breaking) My name is on this one.

My life's work has been To build up...

Let them start with someone else's firm.

???

(sighs)

Did he rule?

After lunch.

And suppose we lose?

Has anybody made it clear how the firm might change?

Well, paul lewiston says it won't.

Shirley's convinced otherwise.

Jerry was hopping around.

Ah.

Said he found a new case on point.

There was a recent federal court ruling

In support of giving experimental drugs.

District court, so it won't be binding, but it'll help.

I'm also presently trying to get you into

One of the clinical trials for dimebolin,

But i'm not confident of that, denny.

Have you given any more thought

To my idea?

What idea?

Marrying you.

We're committed to each other.

Let's make it legal.

(shirley) i-i...

I didn't mean to get emotional.

It's just...

Maybe it's a bad sign that my personal legacy

Is so tied to my profession instead of...

I hardly ever talk to my daughter.

I don't to my sister.

We could always start a family.

(laughs)

Shirley, are you the least bit excited

About getting married?

Well, of course i am. Why would you ask that?

I-i mean, most brides are obsessed with their wedding day.

Well, please, i've had too many of them.

I-i didn't mean for it to sound that way. Uh--

Do you want to postpone the ceremony?

No, no. Let's just get it over with before i--

(laughs)

Hey, i definitely mean for that to sound that way.

Mm. You know, this is where i get insecure

And i want to run back to new york.

Hey, i want to marry you more than anything,

And i don't want to delay it a single second.

In all of this madness...

Don't let my love for you get lost, okay?

Okay.

Judas priest. Again with the kissing.

Is this for my benefit?

No, denny, it's for mine. Do you need something?

Do we have a ruling yet?

No, not yet. We're still wa--

(sighs) the judge ruled.

Your injunction was denied.

The merger is valid.

Look, shirley, none of us wanted this to happen.

But we have responsibilities to others.

And like it or not,

This firm is bigger than all of us.

???

Thank you for joining.

(speaking foreign language)

(translating) obviously, Your remarks about china

Are deeply disturbing.

In a time when china is embracing capitalism

And american ideals,

We expected to be welcomed more graciously.

Mr. Chang, uh,

The dirty little secret on china...

Is the capitalism you so embrace

Consists primarily of state-owned enterprises.

Many of these companies,

Including this one, are not really all that private.

They are often tied to your government.

There's nothing american about that ideal.

Many of your banks today are owned by your government.

Our hope

Is that you would remain with crane, poole & schmidt.

We now have deep concerns

Over whether you will you serve our interests with fidelity.

If you feel you cannot,

We would appreciate you acting with honor

And submitting your resignation.

You'll have my resignation by the end of business.

Uh, since we're being honorable,

Would you do me the courtesy

Of removing my good name from these walls?

You quit?

C-carl, i-i just can't do this.

No. Whoa, whoa. First of all,

You never make this kind of Decision when you're emotional.

And second, shirley, there are A lot of people around here

Who now more than ever

Are going to be looking to you for reassurance. ��ο

This is not how a leader reacts.

You can lead.

No, i can't. I don't enjoy The kind of loyalty you do here.

We certainly don't want denny in charge.

Do not be submitting your resignation,

At least not yet.

Oh, gee. It's laurel and hardy.

Ms. Schmidt, you have been very rude to us.

We will not respond in kind.

Mr. Sack, may we meet with you, please?

I would submit

There are four factors The court must look at.

First--

(confident voice) Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You don't get to tell us What we must do.

Sorry. Start again.

Jerry, which justice are you playing?

(normal voice) mm. I was kind of a composite.

Okay. I would like the court

To consider four factors in determining

Whether my client qualifies for the compassion exception

To the ban on experimental drugs--

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You've come to the supreme court Looking for compassion?

(laughs) boy, did you walk into the wrong room, i tell ya.

Jerry, they won't do that.

Can you lose the cigarette and play it straight?

This is kind of an important case.

What's going on?

Am i already dead?

Effective as of january 1st,

The litigation department of crane, poole & schmidt

Is being replaced.

(laughs) what are you talking about?

We've all been fired?

Fired is such an ugly word, alan.

An accurate one, but...

I am sorry. This is no doubt because i antagonized them.

Fired? All of us?

Even me?

Especially you.

They fired you twice.

(instrumental version of "joy to the world" playing)

(denny) We've been dead before,

Then suddenly... Like from the planet mars,

Life.

We could just start a new firm,

But frankly,

I don't think i have the energy or the will.

Never surrender, shirley,

Especially to a bunch of commies.

(chuckles) it's not about surrendering, denny,

It's just that it's time for me to marry a man i love

And start a real life.

I-i mean him.

Look, if you could permit an old lady

To peddle some advice--

Whatever you do next,

Make sure it's something you love.

A life, professional or personal,

Without passion... Y-you're dead.

???

Jerry.

This can be the start of a good thing.

I just don't do well with good-byes.

Look, we are going to come through this,

And we will do that

By focusing on what's immediately ahead of us.

For me, that's my wedding,

Which is saturday at st. Christopher's.

You are all, of course, invited. We're keeping it fairly small.

That's rushing it, isn't it? You just got engaged.

I'm knocked up, denny.

(chuckles)

Kidding. Kidding.

As for the four of you,

You must concentrate all your focus and energy

On the supreme court argument.

How do you stand?

I found a new case on point. Katie helped.

There is precedent for allowing an experimental drug.

Alan?

You're very quiet.

I'll be ready by friday.

What are you thinking about?

???

I think we should fire them.

Excuse me?

Our new bosses. It's not right That they fired us.

I think we should fire them.

I know you're good, but exactly how would that work?

(chuckles)

Get us a meeting.

Now look, i know there's a lot riding on this meeting,

But i want everyone

To just take a deep breath and stay calm.

Alan can handle it.

Can't you, alan?

Larry storch played agarn, right?

On f troop, yes.

What's f troop ?

I loved f troop.

Dear lord.

???

Greetings, our chinese carpetbaggers.

I'm told it's customary ϰ����to bow.

That's the japanese.

Greetings. Good to see you.

Yes, hello. Good to see you. Greetings. Yes.

Oh, love the tie. Greetings. Yes. Hello.

(carl and katie speaking indistinctly)

(alan) greetings. Yes.

Okay, this concludes the bowing And kowtowing portion

Of the presentation.

I'm told we need an interpreter. Who would that be?

Actually, mr. Shore,

Almost everybody here can understand english.

And since this is a unilateral presentation,

Why don't you just talk?

Excellent. We didn't allow time for you to speak anyway.

I'm having second thoughts about that tie, though.

Oh, good. He does understand. So... Where to begin?

How about welcome to crane, poole & schmidt?

I'm afraid you're all fired. Nothing personal.

You seem like fine folk--

Love the discipline, the 10,000 drummers

But it's not working out, so sorry, out you go.

Single file, please. Move along. Bye-bye.

(men speaking foreign language)

Mr. Shore, we now own the firm.

Well, that doesn't much matter, Mister...

Lee.

Lee, yes. This is america, and in america,

It all comes down to who the jury likes better.

And i don't think

An american jury will side with a communist, do you?

Juries typically frown on oppressors,

Even when they're capitalists, so the idea of china-

On what grounds could you possibly prevail?

(laughs) grounds? Who cares about grounds?

Cases always come down to who the jury likes better.

Did i not just say this? I think i did.

So anyway, meet the group. We're a fine, very likeable group,

Infectious smiles--smile, group--

And best of all, bad for you, we're very good.

Did you check out our win-loss record?

Good for us, bad for you. More importantly,

Did you note the kinds of cases that we argue week to week?

Typically preposterous, mostly unwinnable on their face,

And yet, we win them whether we have grounds or not.

Must be the smiles. Smile, group.

And here, we actually do have grounds.

For you to summarily schmidtcan an entire litigation department,

A successful one no less, because well,

Because i guess you don't like us, it seems arbitrary,

Capricious, actionable, winnable of all things.

It doesn't really seem fair, does it, for us to have

Both the merits and the smiles? Smile, group.

But we do. A wrongful discharge

Subject to compensatory and punitive damages �����Ժͳͷ����⳥

Could be lots and lots of money, not to mention,

Think of the fall-out here at the firm.

You see, we're not just good litigators���ϵ�����, we're popular--

Again, could be the smiles-- and you firing us,

Well, that would be a terrible, terrible way

To introduce yourselves. I mean, uh, denny crane,

Shirley schmidt --you must be joking.

I- i know how the chinese love to kid,

Like with the, uh, the tanks in the square,

The monks in tibet or--or daughters.

Uh, but you could have a mass exodus ��������ȥof lawyers

Long before we even get to trial,

Which we will, of course, get to just the same,

And when we do, take caution.

Here's a little tip --we americans love to trade on fear.

Ask w. Ask dick. Ask rummy. Fear sells. Fear works.

The fear i'll be trading ó��on is china--

Communist china-- taking our jobs,

First over there, then over here.

Where you once were passive investors,

Now you want active control.

That scares americans-- active communists,

Made in china, seeking control.

Ooh, scary!

One last thought, we're giant slayers here.

It's what we do.

Be it the united states government,

Big pharmaceutical,

Big tobacco, big oil--

It never gets old.

And just when it seemed we were fresh out of bigs,

Along came you, china, the poster child for big.

Oh! To parade you in front of an american jury...

Well, here's your out--

We'll agree not to fire you, not to sue, on one condition.

We stay, and we stay in charge.

Do what you want with corporate or tax.

But in litigation, we run the show.

Shirley schmidt, denny crane, Carl sack, jerry espenson,

Katie lloyd, me-- it's our party.

Stay out of our way, we'll stay out of yours.

.that is the deal.

I'm not sure you got the desired effect there, al.

My father used to say,

After watching the bruins with bobby orr,����뱫�Ȱ¶�

It just wasn't the same after.

I think i'll feel that way

About watching alan shore practice law.

There will never be anyone, ever, like him.

If we break up...

Do i need to reach for the oil can?

(chuckles) oh.

We still on for dinner?

Yes.

This'll be, like, our third date, jerry.

Hello. Welcome. Hello.

Relax.

We don't need to kiss.

???

(chuckles)

???

(inhales sharply)

They have decided to reinstate us.

Evidently, they agree it would send a bad message

To summarily broom us.

Which means they probably just plan

To do it more gradually.

(chuckles) perhaps.

They are bringing in somebody new

To oversee the litigation department.

Who?

I don't know.

But for now, more life from mars, i guess.

Well, do we even want it, shirley?

We could now leave on our own terms.

Well... (chuckles)

Right now, let's concentrate on the supreme court...

Ah.

And my wedding, and we'll take it from there.

Thank you, alan.

You... (chuckles)

You are really something.

Usually, when women tell me that, it's to get inside my--

Alan. (laughs)

See you tomorrow.

Feels good to say that.

???

How are you doing?

Better days.

Worse, too.

Oh.

So we live again.

For now.

Hell of a speech, alan.

I even listened this time.

(chuckles) to all of it?

Don't be ridiculous.

(laughs)

(sighs)

Denny, i've been thinking about what shirley said,

Loving life, loving your job.

We've always done both.

But will we under this new regime?

If i could do anything, i think it would be

To open my own legal aid firm.

What the hell is that?

Well, basically, it's a firm

Where you give your services away for free.

What's the point?

(chuckles) denny, in this economy,

Those are gonna be the first services cut--

Legal aid to the poor.

Oh.

Do you think...

That i might like poor people?

I've never taken the time to know one.

Oh, they can be very nice once you get to know them.

The problem is funding it.

Plus, i must admit, i enjoy having money

To travel and fish, eat well.

You know where this discussion is headed, don't you?

Where?

Straight to the altar.

(chuckles)

Alan...

I have more money than god, unless he timed the market.

But i can't give it to you 'cause the government

Will take half with the gift tax,

And i can't die and leave it to you

'Cause of the estate tax.

Don't get me started.

If you were my spouse,

I could give it, i could leave it to you.

What's mine is yours,

And the government can't touch it.

Oh, for that matter, you could open a business

Or start a foundation--

In which case, you can't use it for incidentals

Like travel, fishing.

And the way you go after the government...

They already audit you.

They'll find a way to nail you

For commingling or malfeasance or whatever.

The cleanest, simplest,

Most efficient transfer of property...

Is marriage.

Plus all those other reasons--

Medical, spousal privilege...

Immunity.

(laughs) It's beyond ridiculous,

Even for us.

(laughs)

I've always wanted to remarry before i die.

Really?

Why?

I just have.

And like it or not...

You're the man i love.

Think of all the... Uh,

What do you call 'em, poor people?

Yes.

Think of all the poor people you can help,

Allocating my wealth to them, not the... Iraq war

Or the... Wall street bailout.

Take my hand, alan.

Take my money.

I always thought if i were to get married again,

It would be for... Love and romance.

You love me.

Romance never lasts.

Money can.

Okay, denny.

I will marry you.

Really?

Why not?

(laughs) i suppose it had to come to this.

(the dixie cups) ? going to the chapel ?

It'll be great.

(laughs) yes, it will.

Oh.

Like jumping a shark.

(laughs)

Hey, how about we do it on the dock of nimmo bay?

Perfect.

A salmon in one hand...

Me in the other.

Let no man tear asunder.

? married ?

This could be a television series.

On a new network.

One that cares.

Alan shore and denny crane husband and mad cow.

? going to the chapel of love ?

? yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ?

? going to the chapel of love ?

? yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ?

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