Original subtitles

} \viewkind4\uc1\pard\sb100\sa100\cf1\f0\fs20\par PREVIOUSLY ON BOSTON LEGAL... \par I HAVE AN 80% CHANCE OF GETTING ALZHEIMER'S? \par HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING OTHER SYMPTOMS LATELY? \par SOMETIMES I FEEL A LITTLE FOGGY, \par I DON'T SEEM TO ALWAYS GET THINGS, \par WE ALL KNOW IT, WE LAUGH IT OFF, \par WE SAY,ISN'T THE MAD COW CUTE? \par AT WHAT POINT DO WE ALL ADMIT \par THE MAN NEEDS HELP? \par THE FIRM IS GOING BROKE? \par WE MAY HAVE TO SHUT OUR DOORS, \par DID I KNOW THIS AND FORGET? \par YOU'VE BEEN ALMOST LIKE \par A BIG SISTER TO ME, \par IF YOU KNEW THIS CRAZY CATHERINE PIPER... \par DO YOU THINK THEY CONSIDERED ME SANE? \par IF ONLY THEY COULD KNOW YOU LIKE I DO, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par (elevator bell dings) \par (indistinct conversations) \par UH... \par (indistinct conversations continue) \par HELLO, DEAR, \par MAY I HELP YOU? \par YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR A LAWYER, \par OH, YES, \par I SUSPECTED AS MUCH, \par YOU'RE IN A LAW FIRM, \par UH, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, DEAR? \par WELL, I, UH, I GOT INTO HARVARD, AND THEN \par A PRETTY LITTLE THING LIKE YOU? \par (laughs) OH, PLEASE, \par WHO'D WE DO, SWEETHEART? \par THEN THEY RESCINDED MY ADMISSION, \par AND NOW I WOULD LIKE TO SUE THEM,\par (laughs) OF COURSE YOU WOULD, \par UM, KATIE, BE A DEAR AND HELP THIS YOUNG LADY, \par UH, KATIE WILL HELP YOU, DEAR, \par WHY DON'T WE GO TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM? \par OKAY, \par HELLO, \par (gasps) \par WHO ARE YOU? \par UH, I'M CATHERINE, HONEY, D--(clears throat) WHO ARE YOU? \par CARL SACK, MAY I HELP YOU? \par I DOUBT IT, UH, YOU STRIKE ME AS PUSHY, \par MAY I ASK, \par AND I THINK I MAY, BEING, UH, A SENIOR PARTNER, \par JUST WHWHAT... \par WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? \par I WORK HERE, DEAR, \par YOU WORK HERE? \par YES, DEAR, \par WHO HIRED YOU? \par SHIRLEY SCHMIDT DID, DEAR, SHE'S MY OLDER SISTER, \par I THINK IF SHIRLEY SCHMIDT HAD HIRED YOU, \par SHE WOULD'VE TOLD ME, \par REALLY? DOES SHE TELL YOU EVERYTHING? \par DID SHE TELL YOU SHE WENT TO CABO FOR THE WEEK? \par SHE DID, \par AND SHE LEFT ME A CONTACT NUMBER... \par (keypad beeping) \par IF YOU CAN IMAGINE, \par WELL, THAT'S LOVELY, \par (Kevin Edelman's Pimps N' Trixx ringtone playing) \par DID SHE TELL YOU HER CALLS \par WERE BEING FORWARDED TO HER YOUNGER SISTER? \par HELLO, WHO'S CALLING, PLEASE? \par IS IT THE PUSHY MAN? \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par BOOM, \par (makes popping noise) \par OKAY, DENNY, \par I WANT YOU TO COUNT BACKWARDS BY SEVENS FROM A HUNDRED, \par Why? \par It's just a test, \par (scoffs) \par 100, \par 93, \par Uh, 86, \par 81, \par 75, \par 44, I meant to say, \par 4, UH, 1984, \par like the Orwell \par 74, \par WHO THE HELL WROTE THAT? \par No, no, you were down to 74 not 84, \par W-WHATEVER, \par Continue, please, \par 74, \par 67, \par HELL OF A YEAR'67, THE SOX WON THE PENNANT, \par Jimmy Lonborg pitched a 2 hitter second game, \par and Yaz plunked two out, Hell of a game, \par WHO PITCHED THE FIRST GAME OF THAT WORLD SERIES? \par Jose Santiago against, uh, Bob Gibson, \par Gibson pitched, uh, three times,won the series, \par WHO'S THE BEST PITCHER FOR THE SOX THIS YEAR? \par UM... \par Uh, uh... \par Don't tell me, Uh... uh... Josh Pecker, \par Hell of a pitcher, Pecker, (laughs) \par Who's the best hitter? \par UH, THAT'S, UH, THAT BLACK GUY UH, THE, UM \par ORTIZ, DAVID ORTIZ, \par He's half Black, half Mexican, half Dominican, \par Who's the president of the United States? \par BARACK OBAMA, \par He's half Hawaiian, half Kenyan half Black and half, \par UH, HALLE BERRY, \par (man) IT HAS PROGRESSED, \par LAST YEAR, WE WERE AT STAGE 3, \par WHICH IS BASICALLY MILD COGNITIVE DECLINE, \par NOW IT'S MORE LIKE STAGE 4, \par WHICH IS MODERATE, \par TALK TO ME LIKE I'M IN THE ROOM, WOULD YOU? \par I AM, \par YOU REMEMBER YESTERDAY VERY WELL, \par BUT FORMING NEW MEMORIES IS OBVIOUSLY MORE DIFFICULT, \par CUT TO THE PUNCH LINE, \par YOU'RE IN THE EARLY STAGES OF ALZHEIMER'S, \par WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT PRECURSOR'S ANYMORE, \par IT'S HERE, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par ACADEMIC DOPING? \par YEAH, YOU FIND A FRIEND WITH A PRESCRIPTION \par FOR RITALIN OR ADDERALL, AND YOU POP SOME PILLS \par TO HELP STUDY AND STAY FOCUSED THE DAY OF THE S.A.T. \par AND YOU DID THIS? \par YEAH, IT'S NOT ILLEGAL, \par AND HOW'D YOU DO ON THE S,A,T,? \par I GOT A PERFECT SCORE, \par AND I WAS ACCEPTED TO HARVARD... \par (chuckles) \par WHICH IS FAIRLY NEWSWORTHY \par GIVEN I WENT TO YOUR AVERAGE \par SMALLTOWN PUBLIC SCHOOL, \par I DID AN INTERVIEW WITH THE LOCAL PAPER... \par WHERE I WAS QUOTED AS SAYING \par RITALIN WAS A GODSEND WHEN IT CAME TO TEST TAKING, \par AND THAT SPARKED A WHOLE DEBATE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION \par IS IT ETHICAL, IS IT NOT \par AND THE BOSTON PAPERS PICKED IT UP, \par AND SUDDENLY I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS CONTROVERSY \par THAT HARVARD WANTS NO PART OF, \par SO THEY RESCIND MY OFFER OF ADMISSION, \par (purrs and makes popping sound) \par WELL, I BELIEVE TAKING A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE \par WITHOUT A PRESCRIPTION ACTUALLY IS ILLEGAL, \par NO, IT'S A STUDY AID, \par JUST ONE STEP ABOVE POTENT COFFEE, \par SO WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO? \par GET ME REINSTATED AT HARVARD, \par I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE THIS, \par I MEAN, THEY'RE SINGLING ME OUT, \par AND NOW NO SCHOOL WILL TAKE ME, \par WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS WITH ALL THIS? \par BEYOND DEVASTATED, \par IT WAS THEIR DREAM TO SEE THEIR LITTLE GIRL GO TO HARVARD, \par I HAVE TO FIX THIS, \par I SCREWED IT UP... \par AND I HAVE TO FIX THIS, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT MY DESK? \par OH, OH, II WAS JUST STRAIGHTENING UP, \par THAT'S WHAT ASSISTANTS DO, \par YOU'RE NOT MY ASSISTANT, \par YES, I AM, DEAR, \par NO, I HAVE AN AS WHERE IS SHE? \par OH, FRANCINE? \par MM, \par I FIRED HER, \par YOU \par TOO PRETTY, TOO YOUNG SHE'S A DISTRACTION, \par ALL RIGHT, I'M CALLING SECURITY, \par LOOK, HONEY, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO MAKE TROUBLE \par FOR SHIRLEY'S SISTER? \par I MEAN, AFTER ALL \par YOUR NAME IS CATHERINE PIPER, \par YOU WERE FIRED FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS, BEING PSYCHOTIC, \par I ALSO HAVE CANCER, DEAR, \par THERE, IT'S OUT, \par I AM DESPERATE FOR A DISTRACTION, \par ANYTHING TO OCCUPY MYSELF WHILE... \par I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T COME HERE TO INDULGE... \par YOU HAVE CANCER? \par NOT REALLY, BUT I COULD GET SOME IF YOU'D LIKE, \par OH, 911, \par LOOK, IF I COULD JUST WORK HERE ON A TEMPORARY-- \par (Theme to 'The Practice' ringtone plays) \par OH, SORRY, \par (beep) \par 911, \par WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? \par HOW DID... \par (slams down receiver) \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par I'M AFRAID THEY SAID NO, \par BUT... \par DID YOU POINT OUT \par I DIDN'T ACTUALLY VIOLATE ANY POLICY OR \par THEY'RE CITING HONESTY,MORAL CHARACTER, \par UH, EVERYBODY'S DOING IT, \par I REALIZE THAT, BUT \par BUT YOU WENT PUBLIC, MARGIE, \par WE CAN TAKE IT TO COURT, \par BUT I WOULDN'T EXPECT TO BE SUCCESSFUL, \par OH, WEWE HAVE TO TRY, \par I HAVE GEARED MY WHOLE LIFE TOWARD GOING TO HARVARD, \par I JUST... (sighs) \par I NEED TO TRY, \par PLEASE, \par I DON'T KNOW, JERRY, \par YOU SAY SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION, \par ALL THE KIDS ARE DOING THIS, ALAN \par GETTING IT WITHOUT PRESCRIPTIONS, \par WELL, THAT'S NOT MUCH OF AN ARGUMENT, \par AH, \par YOU COULD ARGUE THAT RESCINDING HER ADMISSION IS ARBITRARY \par SINCE THEY HAVE NO OFFICIAL POLICY, \par OH, ALAN,UM, HEY, JERRY, \par ALAN, THERE'S A DRUG \par IT'S CALLED, UH, DIMEBOLIN,SOMETHING LIKE THAT \par AND I WANT IT, MY DOCTOR WON'T GIVE IT TO ME, \par IT'S FROM RUSSIA,IT STEMS OFF ALZHEIMER'S, \par DENNY, SLOW DOWN, \par I CAN'T AT THE MOMENT, \par I'VE TAKEN A LITTLE TOO MUCH ADDERALL, \par ADDERALL? \par SEE? THAT'S WHAT MARGIE TAKES,THAT AND RITALIN, \par RITALIN, I LOVE RITALIN, \par DENNY, WHAT DID WE AGREE ON REGARDING YOUR MEDICINES? \par I WOULD BE IN CHARGE, \par YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, BUT I'M THE ONE WITH THE ALZHEIMER'S, \par I'LL TAKE WHAT I WANT,AND RIGHT NOW, I WANT DIMEBOLIN, \par AND YOU'VE GOTTA HELP ME GET IT, \par YOU OKAY, JERRY? \par ACADEMIC DOPING... \par IT HAS SUCH A STIGMA TO IT, \par WHAT ABOUT EMOTIONAL DOPING? \par WHAT DO YOU MEAN? \par THAT'S WHAT I DO EMOTIONAL DOPING, \par I TAKE MY LITTLE HELPERS TO... \par DO YOU THINK IT REFLECTS POORLY \par ON MY MORAL CHARACTER? \par NO, \par WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? \par WELL, YOUR MEDICATION IS PRESCRIBED FOR ONE THING, \par MOSTLY,\par AND SECOND, YOU HAVE A SPECIFIC,DIAGNOSED CONDITION, JERRY \par ASPERGER'S SYNDROME, \par THREE YEARS AGO, YOU COULDN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT, \par I TAKE PILLS THAT AFFECT MY BRAIN \par TO HELP ME PERFORM BETTER, \par JERRY,I'M THE FIRST ONE TO SAY \par WE HAVE AN OVERMEDICATED SOCIETY, \par WE'VE GOT 3 YEAR OLDS ON ANTIPSYCHOTICS, \par PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN HAVE HIGH CHOLESTEROL TAKE STATINS, \par PEOPLE TAKE SLEEP AIDS WHEN MAYBE THEY SHOULD JUST \par READ A BOOK OR MASTURBATE, \par IT'S OUT OF CONTROL, \par BUT THAT'S NOT TO SAY THAT MANY DRUGS DON'T DO A LOT OF GOOD, \par THEY SAVE LIVES, \par PEOPLE NEED DRUGS LIKE INSULIN OR BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICINE \par TO SIMPLY MAINTAIN THEIR HEALTH, \par AND DRUGS HELP SOME PEOPLE TO LIVE NORMAL, PRODUCTIVE LIVES \par WHO MIGHT OTHERWISE NOT, \par YOU FALL INTO THAT CATEGORY, \par POPPING PILLS TO... (scoffs)GET BETTER S,A,T, SCORES \par THAT'S...SOMETHING DIFFERENT, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par (elevator bell dings) \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par YOU ARE NOT WORKING HERE, CATHERINE, \par THAT MUCH HAS BEEN DECIDED, \par WELL, THEN WHAT ARE WE DOING IN YOUR OFFICE, \par BEHIND CLOSED DOORS... \par WHERE YOU COULD SEXUALLY RAVAGE ME \par WITH NO WITNESSES TO SAY IT DIDN'T HAPPEN? \par WE'RE HERE BECAUSE I'M TOLD YOU'RE A FRIEND OF ALAN'S, \par AND AS A COURTESY TO HIM AND YOU, \par I THOUGHT I WOULD AT LEAST GIVE YOU \par AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS, \par I'M DOING IT BECAUSE I'M OLD \par AND I'M BORED, \par ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD, \par IT'S NOT LIKE I COULD GO SKIING \par OROR MOUNTAIN CLIMBING OR... \par HONESTLY, AASSUMING I WERE QUALIFIED TO BE YOUR ASSISTANT, \par UH, WOULD YOU EMPLOY SOMEBODY MY AGE? \par PROBABLY NOT, \par I DIDN'T THINK SO, \par I GOT THAT ON TAPE, DEAR, \par NOW I CAN SUE YOU FOR AGE DISCRIMINATION, \par BEST YOU KEEP ME ON,AVOID THE CONTROVERSY, \par GET OUT, CATHERINE, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par I DIDN'T CHEAT,I TOOK MEDICINE \par TO HELP MY BRAIN FUNCTION AT ITS HIGHEST LEVEL, \par YOU DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION FOR THE MEDICATION, \par A DOZEN FACULTY MEMBERS AT CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY \par ADMIT TO TAKING UNPRESCRIBED ADDERALL \par TO IMPROVE THEIR OWN ACADEMIC PERFORMANCE, \par BUT NOBODY'S EXPELLING THEM, \par THEY'RE CLAIMING IT SHOWS POOR MORAL CHARACTER, \par AND I REJECT THAT, \par HELICOPTER PILOTS \par TAKE PRESCRIPTION STIMULANTS TO STAY ALERT, \par MEDICAL INTERNS \par TAKE DRUGS FOR NARCOLEPSY SO THAT THEY CAN WORK ALL NIGHT, \par SHOULD WE INDICT ALL OF THEM AS WELL? \par ALL THEY'VE DONE IS USE A PHARMACOLOGICAL TOOL \par SO THAT THEY COULD DO THEIR WORK MORE EFFECTIVELY, \par CERTAINLY YOU'RE AWARE \par THAT HARVARD HAS EXTREMELY HIGH STANDARDS, \par OF COURSE, \par JOHN F, KENNEDY WAS A GRADUATE, \par AS WAS THE UNABOMBER, \par F.D.R.\par HITLER'S FOREIGN PRESS SECRETARY, \par NUMEROUS LITERARY FIGURES EMERSON, THOREAU \par AND THE CARDINAL ARCHBISHOP \par WHO SHIELDED CHILD MOLESTERS FROM PROSECUTION, \par FOR FACULTY, \par YOU HAD TIMOTHY LEARY AND HIS L.S.D.EXPERIMENTS \par MS, COGGINS, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO HARVARD OR NOT? \par (sighs) YEAH, I DO... \par DESPERATELY, \par MY POINT IS... HARVARD'S NOT PERFECT, \par BUT NEITHER AM I, \par BUT AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY,I ENDEAVOR TO BE \par THE BEST POSSIBLE VERSION OF MYSELF, \par AND THAT'S ALL I WAS DOING BY TAKING RITALIN, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par THE EARLY TRIALS HAVE BEEN ENCOURAGING, \par IT'S IN THE STAGE 3 TRIALS NOW, \par I WANT IT, \par WELL, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, \par WHY NOT? \par BECAUSE IT'S NOT F.D.A. APPROVED, \par THIS DRUG IS A LONG WAY \par I DON'T CARE,\par MR, CRANE, I'M NOT ALLOWED TO PRESCRIBE THIS MEDICATION, \par AND EVEN IF I WERE AND DID,YOU STILL COULDN'T GET IT \par SINCE IT HASN'T BEEN \par HOW LONG BEFORE IT'S AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC? \par MY GUESS IS AT LEAST TWO YEARS,PROBABLY THREE, \par THE F.D.A. HASN'T EVEN ANALYZED THE DATA OF THE TRIALS \par II'LLI'LL BE DEAD IN THREE YEARS, \par WHERE'S THE DRUG? WHO'S GOT IT? \par WELL, PFIZER JUST BOUGHT THE RIGHTS, \par BUT NOBODY CAN JUST SAY, OKAY,I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU, \par IT WOULD BE ILLEGAL TO DO SO \par UNLESS YOU GET YOURSELF ENROLLED IN A CLINICAL TRIAL, \par BUT I THINK IT'S FULLY BOOKED, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par LET'S BE FAIR, \par IT'S NOT JUST THE S.A.T,THAT GETS A PERSON ADMITTED, \par OF COURSE NOT,\par MARGIE, IN FACT, IS ALSO A NATIONAL MERIT FINALIST, \par CAPTAIN OF HER SWIM TEAM,CLASS VALEDICTORIAN, \par WE GET APPLICATIONS \par FROM THOUSANDS OF NATIONAL MERIT FINALISTS, \par THOUSANDS OF CAPTAINS AND THOUSANDS OF VALEDICTORIANS, \par BUT THIS ONE,YOU OFFERED ADMISSION, \par YES, UNTIL SHE ADMITTED SHE HAD USED BRAIN ENHANCEMENT DRUGS, \par AS DO THOUSANDS OF OTHER STUDENTS, \par DO YOU HAVE A WAY TO WEED ALL OF THEM \par OUT OF YOUR APPLICANT POOL? \par NO, \par AND THERE'S ACTUALLY NO POLICY AT HARVARD \par EXPLICITLY FORBIDDING WHAT YOU TERM ACADEMIC DOPING, \par IS THERE? \par I THINK IN FUTURE \par SO YOU INTEND TO ENFORCE FUTURE RULES AGAINST HER, \par DO YOU THINK THAT'S FAIR? \par WE CONSIDER HER ACTIONS TO BE IMMORAL, \par AND WE RESERVE OUR RIGHT \par TO MAKE OUR ADMISSIONS DECISIONS ACCORDINGLY, \par I'VE DECIDED NOT TO SUE YOU, \par HOW SWEET, \par LISTEN, TH--THAT PART \par ABOUT ME BEING DESPERATE FOR A DISTRACTION, \par THAT WAS TRUE, \par IT ISN'T FAIR, CARL, \par I HAVE MY HEALTH \par A--AND MY MIND IS AS SHARP AS--AS... \par (stammers) \par WELL, YOU PEOPLE COME UP WITH ALL THIS MEDICINE \par TOTOTO KEEP US ALIVE, \par EVEN THRIVE, \par AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH US, \par I WAS THINKING... IF I WERE TO COME UP \par WITH SOMETHING I COULD SUE FOR, \par SOMETHING LEGITIMATE, \par AND IT COULD MAKE THE FIRM MONEY \par UH... I SUPPOSE \par IF YOU HAD A LEGITIMATE CAUSE OF ACTION, \par THEN WE WOULD \par DRUGS, \par UH, OKAY, THEY MAKE THEM TOO EXPENSIVE, \par WHILE IN CANADA, YOU CAN-- \par NO, \par INFLATION, \par UH, OUR SOCIAL SECURITY PAYMENTS \par DON'T KEEP PACE \par NO, \par OH, LOOK, SOME JOBS STILL HAVE A MANDATORY RETIREMENT AGE, \par NO, \par (sighs) \par THESE ARE ALL LEGITIMATE, \par CATHERINE, YOU HAVE TO HAVE STANDING, \par IT HAS TO DIRECTLY IMPACT YOU, \par HARM YOU, \par LOOK HOW INSENSITIVE YOU'RE BEING, \par TH--THIS IS EXACTLY THE PROBLEM, \par WE'RE JUST SHOVED ASIDE AS A NUISANCE, \par I CAN'T EVEN WATCH TELEVISION SHOWS, FOR GOD SAKE, \par BECAUSE THE NETWORKS CONSIDER ME IRRELEVANT, \par YOU'D THINK THEY DON'T PROGRAM FOR ANYBODY OVER 50, \par IS IT ANY WONDER \par I'M OUT KNOCKING OVER CONVENIENCE STORES? \par YOU ACTUALLY MAY HAVE SOMETHING THERE, \par THE NETWORKS \par THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO SERVE THE PUBLIC, \par OKAY, CATHERINE... \par WE'LL TAKE THAT CASE, \par REALLY? \par I'M OVER 50 MYSELF... \par AND I WANT SOMETHING TO WATCH, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par HOW WE DOING? \par FINE, \par AHH, \par I GOT A HEARING BEFORE JUDGE PEYTON TOMORROW, \par WE'LL TAKE OUR BEST SHOT, \par SHIRLEY'S AT THE FAT FARM, YOU HEAR? \par WHY? SHE'S NOT FAT, \par YOU KNOW BRIDES, \par THEY LIKE TO GET ALL SKINNY BEFORE THE WEDDING, \par IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK IN THEIR DRESS, \par AH, \par YOU KNOW THE BEST PART OF HAVING, UH... MAD COW? \par SOMETIMES... \par NOT OFTEN... \par I THINK WE'RE STILL TOGETHER, \par AS DELUSIONS GO, IT'S ONE OF THE BETTER ONES, \par YOU GONNA BE OKAY, DENNY, ATTENDING HER WEDDING? \par YEAH, WELL... \par WHAT I'M NOT OKAY WITH IS... \par SITTING ON MY ASS WHILE MY BRAIN ROTS, \par HAVE A BIG PROBLEM WITH THAT, THOUGH, \par WE GO BEFORE JUDGE PEYTON IN THE MORNING, \par YEAH, YOU TOLD ME, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par YOU GONNA STAY HERE ALL NIGHT, JERRY? \par IT'S NOT EVEN CLEAR \par THOSE DRUGS GAVE HER ALL THAT MUCH OF AN ADVANTAGE, \par SHE SCORED 99th PERCENTILE ON THE PRACTICE TEST, \par WHICH SHE TOOK WITHOUT THE DRUGS, \par JERRY, SHE CHEATED, LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES, \par MOST KIDS GET A BIGGER ADVANTAGE \par BY TAKING THE S.A.T PREP PROGRAM, \par THEY ACTUALLY CAN BOOST SCORES BY 150 POINTS, \par THOSE PROGRAMS ARE LEGITIMATE, \par AND NOT AFFORDABLE TO KIDS LIKE MARGIE, LET'S FACE IT, KATIE, \par THE RICH HAVE SUCH A LEG UP IN THIS COLLEGE RACKET, \par ACCORDING TO ONE CHANCELLOR, IN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOLS, \par POOR APPLICANTS REALLY ONLY GET A SHOT AT 40% OF THE SLOTS, \par THE REST ARE RESERVED FOR FAMILIES OF PRIVILEGE, \par BUT, JERRY, YOU CANNOT BE A FAN OF ACADEMIC DOPING, \par I'M JUST SAYING... \par LIFE ISN'T AN EVEN PLAYING FIELD, \par AND FOR THOSE WHO ARE... \par WEAKER THAN... \par MEANING YOU? \par JERRY, YOU'RE NOT WEAKER THAN, YOU HAVE ASPERGER'S, \par YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AFRAID I AM \par TO LEAVE MY APARTMENT, \par EVERY DAY... \par EVERY MORNING, \par I ACTUALLY WONDER, WILL I GET OUT THE DOOR OR NOT? \par IT SEEMS YOU WIN THAT BATTLE EVERY DAY, \par YEAH... ON DRUGS, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par YOU CAN'T SUE THE NETWORKS, \par THE AIRWAVES, JUDGE, ARE A PUBLIC TRUST, AT LEAST AS FAR \par AS THE BROADCAST NETWORKS ARE CONCERNED, \par THAT'S WHY THEY'RE REGULATED, \par IT'S STILL A BUSINESS, \par I MEAN, BUNGEE JUMPING MIGHT BE REGULATED, \par ARE YOU SAYING THAT THOSE OUTFITS \par WOULD HAVE A DUTY TO SERVICE THE ELDERLY? \par NO, THAT WOULD BE UNREASONABLE, \par BUT TO REQUIRE A BROADCASTER TO PROGRAM FOR EVERYBODY ISN'T, \par MR, SUCK, \par SACK, \par YOUR HONOR, THERE MAY HAVE BEEN A TIME \par WHEN IT MADE PRACTICAL BUSINESS SENSE TO EXCLUDE THE OLD, \par BUT NOT TODAY, \par AMERICANS OVER 50 MAKE UP THE FASTEST GROWING MARKET, \par IT'S ABOUT MONEY, NOT HOW MANY \par REALLY? GEE, I WOULD'VE NEVER GUESSED THAT, \par THE BABY BOOMERS, NOW ALL OVER 50, \par EARN $2 TRILLION IN ANNUAL INCOME, \par THAT'S TRILLION, \par MADISON AVENUE IS AFTER THE DISCRETIONARY SPENDER, \par YES, AND PEOPLE OVER 50 ACCOUNT FOR HALF OF THAT, TOO, \par CHOOSE YOUR STATISTIC, GO AHEAD, I'VE GOT YOU, \par WE'VE GOT MORE MONEY, WE SPEND MORE MONEY, \par WE WATCH MORE TELEVISION, GO TO MORE MOVIES, \par WE BUY MORE CDs THAN YOUNG PEOPLE DO, \par AND YET WE'RE THE FOCUS OF LESS THAN 10% OF THE ADVERTISING, \par ALL THE NETWORKS WANT TO DO IS SKEW YOUNGER, \par KID SHOWS FOR KIDS, \par YOU KNOW, THE ONLY SHOW \par UNAFRAID TO HAVE ITS STARS OVER 50 IS \cf0 "B"--\f1\fs24 \par GEE, I CAN'T SAY IT, IT WOULD, UM, BREAK THE WALL, \par OH, MR, SUCK, \par IT'S STILL SACK, \par I CAN'T TELL THE NETWORKS WHAT SHOWS TO MAKE, \par NO, BUT YOU CAN ORDER THEM NOT TO DISCRIMINATE, \par WHAT THEY'RE DOING INTENTIONALLY EXCLUDES A CLASS OF SOCIETY, \par THAT'S BIGOTRY,\par YOU KNOW, WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO TURN ON OUR DAMN TELEVISIONS \par AND SEE SOMETHING \par OTHER THAN REALITY SHOWS AIMED AT FOURTH GRADERS, \par GAMES SHOWS AIMED AT THOSE \par SLIGHTLY SMARTER THAN FIFTH GRADERS \par AND SCRIPTED SHOWS \par WITH DIMWITTED, SEXCRAZED 20SOMETHINGS \par RUNNING AROUND IN SUITS OR DOCTOR SCRUBS, \par OLD PEOPLE, THE ONES WITH INTELLIGENCE, \par DON'T WANT TO WATCH THAT CRAP, WE'RE FED UP! \par YOU KNOW, THE NETWORKS MIGHT THINK WE'RE DEAD, BUT WE'RE NOT, \par WE'RE VERY MUCH ALIVE WITH WORKING BRAINS, \par GIVE US SOMETHING TO WATCH,DAMN IT! \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par YOU READY, DENNY? \par DENNY? \par WHAT'S WRONG? \par I MUST HAVE NODDED OFF, \par I WAS... \par DREAMING ABOUT SHIRLEY, \par WE WERE ON A BENCH, \par SHE ASKED \par ME TO MARRY HER, \par WHAT A DREAM, \par WERE MY EYES CLOSED WHEN YOU CAME IN? \par YEAH, \par YOU MUST HAVE NODDED OFF, \par YOU READY? \par WE'RE DUE IN COURT, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par MR, SHORE, THE SUPREME COURT \par ALREADY RULED ON THIS VERY ISSUE, \par NO, THEY DIDN'T, JUDGE, \par THE SUPREME COURT, IN FACT, REFUSED TO RULE ON IT, \par THEY COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO EVEN HEAR THE CASE, \par I'M SURE IF ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS WERE DYING, \par WE WOULD'VE HAD A DIFFERENT RESULT, \par OH, COME ON, \par WHY CAN'T MR, CRANE TAKE THE DRUG AND SIMPLY ASSUME \par ALL THE INHERENT RISKS IF HE SO CHOOSES? \par BECAUSE WE DON'T LET PEOPLE TAKE DRUGS \par WHILE THEY'RE STILL IN THE INVESTIGATIVE STAGE, \par AND WITH GOOD REASON, \par THINK OF THE POTENTIAL FOR ABUSE, \par POTENTIAL FOR ABUSE? \par WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE? HE COULD DIE? \par HE'S DOING THAT ANYWAY, \par NO, HE ISN'T, HE COULD LIVE A LONG TIME WITH ALZHEIMER'S, \par WHICH COULD BE WORSE, \par AND IT'S POSSIBLE THE DISEASE COULD TAKE YEARS TO PROGRESS, \par HE COULD HAVE MANY HEALTHY YEARS WHILE WE \par THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF POSSIBILITIES AND CHOICES, \par WHY CAN'T THEY BELONG TO THE PATIENT? \par THERE IS STILL SO MUCH \par THAT IS STILL SO UNKNOWN ABOUT DIMEBOLIN THAT \par YES, AND WE'LL ASSUME ALL OF THE RISKS, \par DO I EVER GET TO SPEAK? \par I'D PREFER YOU DIDN'T, WE'RE WASTING PRECIOUS TIME, \par MR, SHORE, I AM A SUPERIOR COURT JUDGE, \par I HAVE TO TAKE MY CUES FROM THE APPELLATE COURT, \par ON THIS ISSUE, THE LAW IS CLEAR, \par A PATIENT,EVEN A DYING PATIENT, \par HAS NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO EXPERIMENTAL TREATMENT, \par (scoffs) \par NOW DO I AGREE WITH THAT PRECEDENT? NO, NOT REALLY, \par SO THIS IS WHAT I WILL DO I'LL CERTIFY IT \par TO THE MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT, \par MAYBE THEY CAN FIND THE AUTHORITY \par TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT, \par WE ARE ADJOURNED,\par SO NOW WHAT? \par WE GO TO THE STATE SUPREME COURT, \par THERE'S NINE OF THEM, \par LET'S HOPE THAT AT LEAST ONE HAS A RELATIVE \par WHO HAS AN INCURABLE DISEASE, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME A PRETTY LADY SAT NEXT TO YOU \par AND SUCKED ON YOUR EAR LOBE? \par AND DON'T COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES \par YOU HAD TO PAY FOR IT, \par HOW DARE YOU? \par I'M EATING MY LUNCH, \par OH, COME ON, SWEETHEART, THROW AN OLD LADY A BONE, \par YOU ARE..., \par A SHOCKING WOMAN! \par LOOK, JUDGE, I KNOW THIS IS EX PARTE \par OR SOME WHATEVER, UH, UH, \par SOME LATIN TERM THAT MEANS I CAN'T GUM YOUR BODY PARTS, \par BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO WATCH ON TV? \par I MEAN, THE AIRWAVES ARE A PUBLIC TRUST, AM I RIGHT? \par UH, CATHERINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? \par SHE'S TRYING TO SUCK ON MY EAR, \par THAT'S WHAT SHE'S DOING, \par OUTRAGEOUS! \par CATHERINE, GO INSIDE THE COURTHOUSE, \par I'LL MEET YOU THERE, NOW, \par EH... \par (scoffs) \par AHEM, I APOLOGIZE, JUDGE, \par YOU ASK ME, \par YOUR CLIENT ALREADY WATCHES TOO MUCH TELEVISION, \par AH, \par AND THAT SMUTTY MOUTH, \par SEX, SEX, SEX, SEX, \par THAT WHAT YOU WATCH? \par SILENCE! \par (chuckles) UH, WELL, \par YOU KNOW, JUDGE, \par IN ADDITION TO THERE BEING LITTLE FOR US TO WATCH, \par MOST OF IT STINKS, \par AND IT'S PARTLY THIS THING'S FAULT, \par WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? \par WELL, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ON IT \par WHILE THEY'RE WATCHING, \par THEY NO LONGER GIVE TELEVISION THEIR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION, \par WE'RE EITHER ON THE PHONE\par OR WE'RE TEXTING OR ON THE INTERNET, \par SO THE PRODUCERS,THEY DUMB DOWN THE PLOTS, \par MAKE IT EASIER TO KEEP UP WITH WHILE THEIR VIEWERS MULTITASK, \par REALLY? \par KIDS NOWADAYS \par WATCH AN AVERAGE OF THREE HOURS OF TELEVISION A DAY, \par THAT'S WHILE BEING DISTRACTED, \par PEOPLE OVER 55, WE WATCH 6 HOURS A DAY, \par AND WE REALLY WATCH, \par SO WHY AREN'T THEY PROGRAMMING FOR US? \par YOU KNOW, COME ON, DO THESE IDIOTS A FAVOR, JUDGE, \par SEND THESE NETWORK BOZOS A CLUE, BE A LEADER, \par AND WE CAN'T WAIT FOR CONGRESS AFTER ALL, \par BECAUSE, WELL, THEY'RE BOZOS, TOO, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par THESE ARE THEIR MINDS THEY'RE MESSING WITH, \par WE DON'T EVEN KNOW THE LONGTERM DAMAGE, \par NOW OBVIOUSLY, \par SHORT OF REQUIRING URINALYSIS AT THE S.A.T.s\par WE CAN'T MONITOR WHO IS OR ISN'T USING, \par BUT WE CAN TAKE A STAND AGAINST THE ONES \par WHO ARE BRAZEN ABOUT IT, \par WHO DEFEND IT AS ACCEPTABLE AND FAIR, \par SIMPLY PUT,WHAT MARGIE COGGINS DID \par WAS DECIDEDLY UNFAIR, \par IT'S CHEATING, \par NOT IN KEEPING WITH THE IDEALS OF HARVARD, \par (Jerry) I GOT INTO HARVARD, \par MOST DON'T, \par HARVARD REJECTS OVER 90% OF ITS APPLICANTS, \par THAT'S 90% OF THE BEST HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS, \par THE REST DON'T EVEN BOTHER APPLYING, \par THE PROBLEM IS, \par EVERY PARENT WANTS THEIR KID TO GO TO HARVARD, \par PARENTS PUSH, NUDGE, SOME KICK, \par LOOK AT THE CLIMATE WE'VE CREATED, \par 80% OF HONORS \par AND ADVANCED PLACEMENT STUDENTS CHEAT, \par NOT ONCE OR TWICE, BUT ON A REGULAR BASIS, \par SHE DIDN'T, SHE DIDN'T GET THE TEST ANSWERS AHEAD OF TIME, \par SHE DIDN'T COPY HER NEIGHBOR'S PAPER, \par SHE USED HER OWN BRAIN,YES, SHE USED \par A PRESCRIPTION STIMULANT TO STAY FOCUSED AND ALERT, \par AT LEAST 30% OF COLLEGE STUDENTS ADMIT TO DOING THE SAME THING, \par NOT ONLY ARE THERE CURRENTLY NO LAWS AGAINST IT, \par THERE ARE CURRENTLY NO RULES, \par THESE KIDS GROW UP IN A PERVASIVE DRUG CULTURE, \par WE'VE GOT MEDICATIONS NOT JUST TO TREAT DISEASES, \par BUT SIMPLY TO HELP YOU DO THINGS BETTER, \par BE IT SEX, URINATING, DIGESTING, \par WE'VE GOT SOME TO BOOST ENERGY, OTHERS TO HELP YOU SLEEP, \par BETTER LIFE, \par MORE PRODUCTIVE LIFE THROUGH CHEMISTRY, \par THE DRUG WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE \par IS USED OFF LABEL BY MANY TO BOOST BRAIN POWER, \par PERSONALLY... \par I'VE TRIED MEDICATION TO HELP WITH MY ASPERGER'S, \par SOME WORKED, \par THEY MADE ME FEEL SAFER EMOTIONALLY, \par SHOULD I NOT GET THAT RIGHT? \par OR ARE DRUGS FOR EMOTIONS OKAY, BUT COGNITION, NO? \par OR SHOULD THE RULE BE FOR DISORDER, YES, \par BUT ENHANCEMENT, NO? \par WHERE DO YOU DRAW THAT LINE? \par SHE DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION \par FOR THE ONES SHE TOOK, \par TRUE, BUT MANY KIDS DO THIS, SHE'S NO DIFFERENT, \par EXCEPT SHE GOT CAUGHT, \par SHE DIDN'T GET CAUGHT, SHE WAS SIMPLY HONEST ABOUT IT, \par HONESTY THAT'S THE INFRACTION \par THAT'S GETTING HER BOUNCED ON MORAL CHARACTER GROUNDS, \par HYPOCRISY MIGHT BE A BETTER WORD, \par OH! \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par < i> (Mendelssohn's "Wedding March from \par 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'"playing) \par WHAT ARE YOU DOING? \par I'M GIVING THE BRIDE AWAY,REMEMBER? \par (chuckles) OH, \par I'M PRACTICING, \par (turns music off) \par I WANT TO GET IT RIGHT, \par AH, \par AND SHE'S GONNA MAKE A MAGNIFICENT BRIDE... \par FOR THE SEVENTH TIME, \par (laughs) YEAH, \par NEED SOMETHING? \par DENNY, THE MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT, \par THEY SAID NO, \par (whispers) OH, JEEZ, \par (normal voice) ANY APPEAL? \par WELL,TO THE U.S. SUPREME COURT, \par BUT THEY'VE ALREADY REFUSED TO HEAR THIS VERY ARGUMENT, SO... \par SO NOW WHAT? \par I'M NOT SURE, \par WE CAN TRY TO GET YOU INTO THE CLINICAL TRIALS, \par WE COULD GO TO RUSSIA,\par WE COULD, \par OR WE COULD GO TO ATLANTA, \par I HEAR THE RUSSIANS HAVE KINDA TAKEN OVER GEORGIA, \par SO WE COULD GO TO ATLANTA, \par IT'S ANOTHER GEORGIA \par THAT THE RUSSIANS HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED WITH \par THEN WE'LL GO TO THE REAL RUSSIA, \par THEY GOT MAGNIFICENT SALMON STREAMS \par AND NO FISH FARMS, \par WHAT A ROAD TRIP, \par CAN YOU IMAGINE YOU AND ME ON THE LOOSE IN RUSSIA? \par (laughs) \par THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING, \par GO FLYFISHING WITH PUTIN, \par LOOK HIM IN THE EYE,SEE HIS SOUL, \par TELL HIM TO KEEP HIS BIG, UGLY HEAD \par OUT OF ALASKAN AIRSPACE, \par RIGHT AFTER THE WEDDING, \par OFF TO RUSSIA, \par (chuckles) \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par ALL RIGHT, \par I CAN'T SOLVE THE BRAIN ENHANCEMENT DEBATE \par WITH ONE RULING, \par BUT IN THIS CASE, \par THE PLAINTIFF DIDN'T HAVE A PRESCRIPTION, \par WHAT SHE DID WAS ILLEGAL, \par I AM NOT ORDERING HARVARD TO REINSTATE HER, \par WE'RE ADJOURNED, \par (Margie gasps) \par WH-WHAT DO I DO NOW? \par (makes popping noise) \par HMM, \par WHAT'S THIS? \par WELL... THIS... \par WOULD BE... A-A LECTURE, I GUESS, \par YOU SAID YOU GEARED YOUR WHOLE LIFE \par TOWARD GETTING INTO HARVARD, \par AND NOW YOU THINK IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD \par THAT... (makes popping noise) \par IT'S THIS VERY \par UBERSUPERCOMPETITIVE MENTALITY THAT CAUSED YOU \par TO TAKE THE PILLS IN THE FIRST PLACE, MARGIE, AND \par MR, ESPENSON,YOU DID GET INTO HARVARD, \par AND IT CHANGED NOTHING, \par I STILL POPPED,PURRED, HOPPED, \par I WAS STILL RIDICULED,HARVARD DIDN'T CHANGE IT, \par BUT I WAS SO SURE LAW SCHOOL WOULD, \par BECAUSE EVERYBODY RESPECTS LAWYERS, \par SO I STUDIED, STUDIED, MADE TOP OF MY CLASS, \par IT CHANGED NOTHING, \par BUT I WAS POSITIVE MAKING PARTNER WOULD, \par WELL... GUESS WHAT, (chuckles) \par NONE OF IT CAN GIVE YOU SELF-ACCEPTANCE, \par FOR THAT, YOU NEED-- \par A DIFFERENT DRUG? \par EXACTLY, AND--NO. NO! \par FOR SELF-ACCEPTANCE,YOU NEED TO GO \par TO A FAR DEEPER,PERHAPS DARKER, \par CERTAINLY SCARIER PLACE, \par YOUR PROBLEM, MARGIE, IS YOUR PRIORITIES, \par HARVARD ISN'T GOING TO GIVE YOU WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE, \par TRUST ME, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par AT FIRST, I THOUGHT THIS CASE WAS LIKE EVERY OTHER CASE \par BROUGHT BY THIS... RIDICULOUS LAW FIRM \par RIDICULOUS AND OUTRAGEOUS, \par BUT I CAN'T IGNORE, \par AGEISM IS ONE OF THE LAST SOCIALLY CONDONED BIGOTRIES, \par AND IT IS RAMPANT IN THIS BROADCAST NETWORK BUSINESS, \par THEY CONSIDER THOSE OF US OVER 50 TO BE IRRELEVANT, \par (chuckles) HOW IS IT POSSIBLE \par THAT WE ARE NOT EVEN A PART OF THE TARGET DEMO \par WHEN WE WATCH THE MOST TELEVISION \par AND SPEND THE MOST MONEY? \par MY GOD,THERE ARE 87 MILLION OF US, \par AND THAT NUMBER WILL GROW BY 31 MILLION MORE BY 2020, \par ARE YOU REALLY TELLING ME THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE \par TO MAKE TELEVISION SHOWS THAT WE WANT TO WATCH? \par IF I AM TO ASSUME \par THAT THE INDUSTRY IS NOT RUN BY A BUNCH OF IDIOTS, \par THEN I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE THAT IT'S DOMINATED BY PREJUDICE, \par THE CASE STANDS, \par ADJOURNED, \par (gallery murmuring) \par (chuckles) WELL, WELL, WELL, \par CONGRATULATIONS, CATHERINE, \par YOU KNOW... \par OLD PEOPLE HAVE ACTIVE SEX LIVES, TOO, \par MY TRAILER OR YOURS? \par (Joe Cocker's You Are So Beautiful playing) \par \u9834? YOU ARE \u9834? \par \u9834? SO BEAUTIFUL \u9834? \par \u9834? TO ME \u9834? \par \u9834? YOU ARE \u9834? \par \u9834? SO BEAUTIFUL \u9834? \par \u9834? TO ME \u9834? \par DENNY, \par OH, HEY... \par CARL, \par UH, I WAS, UH... \par JUST PRACTICING, \par II WANT TO GIVE HER AWAY RIGHT, \par LISTEN, I, UM... \par I APPRECIATE YOU BEING SUCH A... \par WELL, A GREAT SPORT ABOUT THIS, \par I KNOW THAT ON SOME LEVEL, IT \par (Alan) WHAT?!OH, MY JIMINY CHRISTMAS! \par DENNY! DENNY! WE'RE GOIN' BACK! \par WE'RE GOIN' BACK! \par WE'RE GOIN' BACK! \par WHAT ARE YOU TALK \par THE CASE! THE CASE! \par THE CASE! \par I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE CLERK'S OFFICE, \par THE MASSACHUSETTS \par SLOW DOWN, \par WE'RE ON OUR WAY! \par RRUSSIA? \par NOT RUSSIA, \par ATLANTA? \par NO, WASHINGTON! THE MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT, \par ON THEIR OWN INITIATIVE, \par PETITIONED THE U,S, SUPREME COURT, \par THIS TIME,THEY AGREED TO HEAR IT, \par HEAR WHAT? \par OUR CASE! \par WHAT?! \par WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE SUPREME COURT! \par WHEN? \par NEXT WEEK, \par NEXT WEEK? \par NEXT WEEK! \par OH! \par (both) SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! \par (Alan) SORRY, CARL,DON'T MEAN TO EXCLUDE YOU, \par OH! \par SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT!SUPREME COURT! SUPREME COURT! \par (typing) \par WORKING LATE AGAIN? \par IT'S A MYTH THE WORKLOAD DROPS WHEN YOU MAKE PARTNER, \par GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN, \par JERRY,CAN I SAY SOMETHING? \par MM, \par YOUR COMMENT ABOUT YOU BEING WEAKER THAN... \par I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT, AND I DISAGREE, \par I QUITE THINK YOU MIGHT BE \par THE BRAVEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET, \par WHY? \par JUST THE WAY YOU TAKE ON YOUR VARIOUS CHALLENGES EVERY DAY, \par THERE AREN'T MANY MEN LIKE YOU, JERRY, \par (sighs) THANKS, \par HOW ABOUT WE GO FOR A DRINK? \par WE HAD A GOOD DAY, \par WE ACTUALLY LOST,COME TO THINK OF IT, \par ALL THE MORE REASON,SHALL WE? \par AS COLLEAGUES? \par JERRY,LET'S GO FOR A DRINK, \par I'LL MEET YOU BY THE ELEVATOR? \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par (objects clatter) \par (clattering) \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par DO YOU THINK THE SUPREME COURT, \par WHEN THEY AGREED TO TAKE THIS CASE, \par KNEW IT WAS US? \par (laughing) \par I DON'T KNOW, \par MAYBE THEY WANT A REMATCH, \par HA! YOU'LL KICK THEIR ASSES AGAIN, \par (laughs) \par THEY'LL HAVE TO BRING IN MORE JUSTICES, \par I THINK THEY'RE ONLY ALLOWED THE NINE, \par (laughs) \par HEY, MAYBE I'LL RETIRE AFTER THIS, \par DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, \par WELL, WHAT BETTER WAY TO GO OUT? \par MY LAST CASE IN FRONT OF THE SUPREME COURT, \par NOW THERE'S A FINALE, ALAN, \par THEY SHOULD PUT IT ON TV, \par WE'D GET RATINGS, \par IF THEY PROMOTED US, \par OF COURSE, I THINK THERE'S A LAW AGAINST PROMOTING US, \par SEEMS TO BE, \par WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU RETIRED, DENNY, SERIOUSLY? \par FISH, \par EVERY DAY? \par NOT EVERY DAY, I'D HAVE SEX SOME DAYS, \par MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE RUTH BADER GINSBURG \par TO COME TO NIMMO BAY WITH ME, \par WHAT ABOUT ME? \par YOU CAN BORROW MAGAZINES FROM CLARENCE THOMAS, \par (both laugh) \par OH, WON'T THEY BE SO HAPPY TO SEE US AGAIN? \par THE REMATCH, \par (laughs) THE REMATCH, \par GRAND FINALE, \par SPECIAL 9:00 START TIME, \par (chuckles) \par AHH, \par I MADE ANOTHER DECISION TODAY, \par WHICH IS? \par I'M NOT DYING, \par I LIKE THAT IDEA, \par I'M GONNA GET MY HANDS ON THIS DRUG ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, \par HELL, THIS IS AMERICA, IF WE HAVE TO, WE'LL \par BRIBE, \par DAMN RIGHT, \par AND EVEN IF I FAIL, \par THEY SAY IF YOU KEEP GETTING EXCITED ABOUT LIFE, \par THE BLOOD RUSHES TO YOUR BRAIN BETTER, \par I'LL LOVE LIFE, ALAN, \par EVEN IF IT KILLS ME, \par I'LL FISH, I'LL BE WITH YOU, \par I'LL LOVE LIFE, ALAN, \par AND NEXT WEEK, I'LL LOVE LIFE IN WASHINGTON \par IN FRONT OF THE SUPREME COURT, \par AND AFTER THAT, I'LL LOVE IT IN--IN NIMMO BAY-- \par WITH RUTH BADER GINSBURG, \par SHE WANTS ME, \par I SAW THAT, \par HEY, MAYBE SHE PERSUADED THEM TO TAKE THIS CASE, \par TO BE CLOSER TO YOU, \par OH, RUTHIE, RUTHIE, RUTHIE, \par HERE WE COME, \par \u9834?\u9834?\u9834? \par Distributed by JOHN DOE\par NEXT ON BOSTON LEGAL \par WE'RE NOT SELLING OUT TO A BUNCH OF COMMIES, \par DENNY \par HOW DARE YOU? \par THEY ARE NOT THE DEVIL, \par YES, THEY ARE, \par BECAUSE THEY'RE CHINESE? \par YES, \par (Paul) YOU'RE A BIGOT, \par WE PICKED A REALLY BAD WEEK TO GET MARRIED, \par WHO KNOWS HOW LONG I HAVE LEFT? \par YOU HAVE A LONG TIME LEFT, \par WE'RE GOING TO THE SUPREME COURT AND WE'RE GETTING YOU THAT DRUG, \par THIS WILL BE, LIKE, OUR THIRD DATE, JERRY, \par HELLO, WELCOME, HELLO, \par THE INDECENCY OF A DISEASE \par THAT CRIPPLES THE BODY AS IT ROTS THE BRAIN \par CAN ONLY BE EXCEEDED BY THE INHUMANITY OF KNOWING \par THERE'S A DRUG THAT COULD HELP AND NOT LETTING HIM HAVE IT, \par \pard\par }

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