All language subtitles for Big.Stan.2007.720p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.MX]
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
0
00:00:5,251 --> 00:00:13,836
Subtitles By: Robin808
1
00:00:15,642 --> 00:00:18,726
Think about it.
Right on the beach,
2
00:00:18,895 --> 00:00:22,394
ocean breezes, blue skies, seagulls.
3
00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:26,065
- All yours for the taking.
- It's a timeshare.
4
00:00:26,236 --> 00:00:29,355
Well, it's called a timeshare,
5
00:00:29,531 --> 00:00:32,615
but the truth is,
for the two weeks you're at the condo,
6
00:00:32,784 --> 00:00:34,444
you're not sharing anything.
7
00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:38,237
You're not sharing the bathroom,
not sharing the toaster, nothing.
8
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,656
Nada. Zip.
9
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:45,080
You are the mistress of all you survey.
10
00:00:45,922 --> 00:00:49,125
My nephew looked up the neighbourhood
on the computer.
11
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,421
Your nephew?
12
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,295
Mrs Darby.
13
00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:59,091
He said the condo was
in a bad neighbourhood.
14
00:00:59,269 --> 00:01:00,514
Blacks.
15
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:09,646
You're right. You're right.
16
00:01:09,821 --> 00:01:13,237
The condo is in a rather
poor majority black neighbourhood.
17
00:01:13,408 --> 00:01:16,693
And you know what?
I'm glad you brought it up.
18
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,743
Seriously.
19
00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:23,741
Otherwise, I might have done something
that I'd be ashamed of later.
20
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:28,545
And that would be
to sell you that timeshare.
21
00:01:28,715 --> 00:01:31,965
- You would not feel safe there.
- No, I wouldn't.
22
00:01:32,135 --> 00:01:36,797
Of course you wouldn't.
How could you?
23
00:01:36,973 --> 00:01:38,633
We all know,
24
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:43,269
and I say this at the risk
of sounding a little racist,
25
00:01:43,438 --> 00:01:47,685
black dudes love white women.
26
00:01:47,859 --> 00:01:51,809
Love 'em. I don't know
if it's genetic or if it's society.
27
00:01:51,988 --> 00:01:55,820
We can argue nature versus nurture
all day, but it's a scientific fact
28
00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:59,693
that black men can't get enough
of white women.
29
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:03,204
Don't think a woman of your age
would be safe from their advances.
30
00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,917
No, ma'am.
31
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:08,500
These big black bucks
don't care whether you're young or old,
32
00:02:08,671 --> 00:02:10,000
skinny or fat,
33
00:02:10,173 --> 00:02:14,634
walking or with two wrinkled stumps
right below the knees.
34
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:18,670
They want your white flesh.
They want it bad.
35
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:22,928
Truth be told, I'm part black myself.
36
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:26,388
And if it wasn't for my wife,
I'd be bending you over the desk
37
00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,308
doing you doggy-style right now.
38
00:02:29,776 --> 00:02:34,521
I can just imagine you there,
all alone in that big condo,
39
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:38,232
awash in a sea of Negro cock.
40
00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:40,319
I'll... I'll take it.
41
00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:43,496
Smart move. Sign your Jane Hancock
on the dotted line.
42
00:02:43,665 --> 00:02:46,582
- You can't go in there.
- Here you go.
43
00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:49,076
- Stan Minton.
- I'll be with you in a second.
44
00:02:49,254 --> 00:02:50,285
Go on. Sign it.
45
00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,835
Stan Minton,
you're under arrest for fraud.
46
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:55,629
Anything you say will be
used against you in a court.
47
00:02:55,802 --> 00:02:58,375
It's just a little mix-up.
Go on, sign it.
48
00:02:58,555 --> 00:03:00,761
- You white Jezebel!
- I'll call Mal!
49
00:03:00,932 --> 00:03:04,550
You're gonna regret this!
Call my attorney!
50
00:03:07,981 --> 00:03:10,650
Madam Foreman,
have you reached a verdict?
51
00:03:10,817 --> 00:03:13,853
- We have, Your Honour.
- Please hand it to the bailiff.
52
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:19,734
Will the defendant please rise?
53
00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:22,198
Madam Foreman,
how do you find the defendant?
54
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:26,320
We, the jury,
find the defendant guilty.
55
00:03:27,292 --> 00:03:29,996
- What?
- Thank you, Madam Foreman.
56
00:03:30,170 --> 00:03:32,743
- That bitch!
- Stanley, please, quiet.
57
00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:35,923
Sentencing will be tomorrow at 10am.
58
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:41,553
- What the fuck just happened in there?
- You lost, Stanley.
59
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:44,214
I didn't lose.
You're the lawyer, you lost.
60
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,052
I'm truly sorry.
61
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,683
Damn it, man! I'm rich!
62
00:03:48,855 --> 00:03:50,812
I wanted some of that O.J. justice.
63
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,939
Maybe the judge will give probation.
64
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:56,644
No. In this state, first-degree fraud
65
00:03:56,821 --> 00:03:59,395
carries a minimum
of three to five years.
66
00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:01,401
I got it!
67
00:04:01,576 --> 00:04:04,328
- We bribe the judge.
- I'm not gonna bribe the judge.
68
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,572
- Bribe him.
- I'm not gonna bribe him.
69
00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:08,242
- Bribe him!
- Oh, please.
70
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,076
- Bribe him!
- No!
71
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,921
I don't practise that kind of law,
and I never will.
72
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,376
You wanna bribe the judge?
Be my guest.
73
00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:19,961
I'm sure any shyster on the street
will be happy to do it for you.
74
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:33,054
Mal? You're fired.
75
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:37,729
Mr Popper,
is your client ready for sentencing?
76
00:04:37,904 --> 00:04:40,062
He is, Your Honour.
77
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:43,858
Anything you'd like to say
before the court passes sentence?
78
00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:47,867
Your Honour, my client
has been convicted
79
00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:50,328
of fraud in the first degree.
80
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:53,916
A crime of which he is innocent.
81
00:04:54,087 --> 00:04:57,503
But even if he were guilty
82
00:04:57,674 --> 00:05:00,425
and his customers were defrauded,
83
00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:04,971
isn't it better that Mr Minton,
as a resident of Los Angeles,
84
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:08,674
receive the money,
thereby keeping it in the community,
85
00:05:08,852 --> 00:05:12,552
as opposed to some gypsies
or travelling Mexicans,
86
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:16,858
who would have taken the money
out of the community?
87
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:21,572
Please take that into consideration.
88
00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:28,447
Mr Minton, you are hereby sentenced to
serve a term of no less than three years
89
00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:31,373
at the Verlaine State
Correctional Facility.
90
00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:34,661
Normally, your sentence
would begin immediately.
91
00:05:34,836 --> 00:05:39,664
However, I'm going to delay
your incarceration for six months
92
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:44,170
so that you may...
reorganise the charity
93
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:48,557
that you've established
to teach music to retarded children.
94
00:05:49,976 --> 00:05:53,475
Thank you, judge.
95
00:05:54,606 --> 00:05:55,886
Court is adjourned.
96
00:05:57,025 --> 00:06:01,069
- Teach music to retarded children?
- It sounded good at the time.
97
00:06:01,237 --> 00:06:03,444
- I thought you were gonna bribe him.
- I did.
98
00:06:03,615 --> 00:06:06,319
Hundred grand in Krugerrand
doesn't go too far now.
99
00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:08,236
- Did we win?
- No. I don't get it.
100
00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,534
You bribe the judge
and I get three years?
101
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,745
Mandatory.
The judge couldn't fix that.
102
00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:15,489
Now you got six months
to set your affairs in order.
103
00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:17,328
My affairs are already in order.
104
00:06:18,671 --> 00:06:23,962
My legal opinion is that you take
a Brazilian vacation. Permanently.
105
00:06:24,135 --> 00:06:26,424
Sounds like fun.
106
00:06:26,596 --> 00:06:28,174
I can't do that.
107
00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:30,921
Those Krugerrands were the last
liquid asset I had.
108
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,223
The rest of my money
is frozen in the bank.
109
00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,968
I'm not gonna run
and leave seven million behind.
110
00:06:36,147 --> 00:06:39,184
Well, Stan,
my old man had a saying:
111
00:06:39,359 --> 00:06:43,059
"You walk through a locker room,
you're gonna see some dick. "
112
00:06:44,197 --> 00:06:48,610
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means you rip off enough people,
113
00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:50,777
eventually you're gonna go to jail.
114
00:06:50,954 --> 00:06:52,745
Thanks, that's really comforting.
115
00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:57,375
Hey, I'm a crooked lawyer.
I know I'm going to jail someday.
116
00:06:57,544 --> 00:07:00,913
You don't see me crying about it.
117
00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:14,595
Stan, slow down. You're gonna choke.
118
00:07:14,769 --> 00:07:18,138
I gotta eat now.
I hear that prison food is real crap.
119
00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:22,433
I'm real glad we have six months
together before you have to go to...
120
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,484
- You know.
- Tell me about it.
121
00:07:24,654 --> 00:07:27,988
I could be in jail right now.
Popper's one hell of a lawyer.
122
00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:32,322
I'm gonna be awfully lonely
while you're gone.
123
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:36,623
I know, sweetheart.
But I think I get conjugal visits.
124
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:39,792
I can probably stick it to you
once a month or so. Pretty good.
125
00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:42,001
Oh, sure, that's great.
126
00:07:42,172 --> 00:07:43,879
- But I was thinking...
- Mm-hm.
127
00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:49,291
...maybe we could do something now
so I wouldn't be so lonely later.
128
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,262
Like what?
129
00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:56,009
Like maybe we could make a baby.
130
00:07:59,147 --> 00:08:00,689
Mindy, are you crazy?
131
00:08:00,857 --> 00:08:03,015
- I just...
- I'm gonna be gone three years.
132
00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:06,443
Five at the max. What are we gonna do
with the kid when I get out?
133
00:08:06,613 --> 00:08:08,605
Give it up for adoption?
That's cruel.
134
00:08:08,781 --> 00:08:11,818
I thought maybe we could keep it.
135
00:08:11,993 --> 00:08:14,116
Mindy, how many times
have we gone over this?
136
00:08:14,287 --> 00:08:16,659
It's selfish to bring
a child into this world.
137
00:08:16,831 --> 00:08:19,666
A world full of suffering
and hunger and war.
138
00:08:19,834 --> 00:08:22,586
- It's just... selfish!
- I know.
139
00:08:22,754 --> 00:08:25,541
Plus, a kid would totally
cramp our lifestyle.
140
00:08:25,715 --> 00:08:29,760
We couldn't go on vacation when we
wanted, they break stuff, they cry.
141
00:08:29,928 --> 00:08:32,466
You'd get stretch marks.
142
00:08:32,639 --> 00:08:35,308
That's right. Stretch marks.
143
00:08:35,475 --> 00:08:36,589
Scary stuff, huh?
144
00:08:36,768 --> 00:08:39,971
I just let you
walk all over me.
145
00:08:41,439 --> 00:08:43,432
Oh, Mindy, come on.
146
00:08:43,608 --> 00:08:45,897
OK, Mindy, you can get a dog.
147
00:08:46,069 --> 00:08:48,986
After I leave!
148
00:08:49,155 --> 00:08:51,064
Your other steak, sir.
149
00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:25,350
- What do you want, doll?
- Put some Scotch in this.
150
00:09:26,568 --> 00:09:31,028
- We got whiskey.
- Not as good, but it'll have to do.
151
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:35,065
All right. That'll be 75 cents.
152
00:09:36,661 --> 00:09:37,824
Good deal.
153
00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:43,078
- Keep the change.
- Ooh! Well...
154
00:09:45,295 --> 00:09:47,086
Ah! Give me another one, honey.
155
00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,680
Do you got a problem?
156
00:10:04,606 --> 00:10:06,349
No. No, I...
157
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:10,522
I was just wondering...
you've been to prison, right?
158
00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:12,486
You do have a problem.
159
00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,859
No, I... I'm going to prison.
160
00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:19,153
But I've never been there before
and I was just thinking maybe
161
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:20,989
you could give me some pointers.
162
00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:26,288
- I'll pay you 100 bucks.
- Just for talking?
163
00:10:28,505 --> 00:10:31,624
- How much time did you get?
- Three to five.
164
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,172
- Where at?
- Verlaine.
165
00:10:34,344 --> 00:10:39,385
Verlaine? That's fucked, Stan.
Guards just don't give a damn.
166
00:10:39,557 --> 00:10:43,175
They let the cons beat the shit
out of one another all day.
167
00:10:43,353 --> 00:10:44,895
How am I gonna do in there?
168
00:10:45,063 --> 00:10:48,514
I mean, if you saw me,
would you beat the shit out of me?
169
00:10:50,026 --> 00:10:51,485
I'd probably rape ya.
170
00:10:53,196 --> 00:10:55,603
- You'd rape me?
- Yeah.
171
00:10:57,075 --> 00:11:00,823
So it's true, huh?
A lot of guys turn gay in prison?
172
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:04,696
I'm always gay.
I only rape people in prison.
173
00:11:04,874 --> 00:11:08,409
- You're gay?
- Yeah. This is a gay bar.
174
00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:11,291
Whoo!
175
00:11:11,464 --> 00:11:13,124
Let's do this thing.
176
00:11:16,094 --> 00:11:17,125
Whoo!
177
00:11:17,303 --> 00:11:21,846
Look, rape isn't an act of sex.
Rape is an act of violence.
178
00:11:22,016 --> 00:11:25,183
And in prison society,
it's all about violence.
179
00:11:25,353 --> 00:11:27,678
You're judged by how bad
other cons fear you.
180
00:11:27,856 --> 00:11:30,940
Raping a dude is the ultimate way
of beating him down.
181
00:11:31,109 --> 00:11:33,185
It means you're one bad motherfucker.
182
00:11:33,361 --> 00:11:36,481
So you rape people?
183
00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:39,692
Well, now that's something
I'm not real proud of.
184
00:11:39,868 --> 00:11:43,699
I don't condone the practise,
to be honest. But I do it some.
185
00:11:43,872 --> 00:11:47,122
Just to keep up with the Joneses.
You know what I mean.
186
00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:51,124
Little dude like you,
be an easy mark.
187
00:11:51,296 --> 00:11:55,459
Oh, Jesus!
Isn't there anything I could do?
188
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:57,543
You could join a gang.
189
00:11:57,719 --> 00:12:00,257
- Are you a racist?
- Not really.
190
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:02,672
That leaves out the Nazis.
191
00:12:02,849 --> 00:12:05,518
- Got any Mob connections?
- No.
192
00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:08,223
- Wouldn't happen to be Latino?
- Uh-uh.
193
00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:11,065
Looks like everybody's gonna rape you.
194
00:12:12,358 --> 00:12:16,273
OK. OK, I... I bet I can be a racist
for three to five years.
195
00:12:16,446 --> 00:12:19,233
- A real racist. Hardcore.
- Well, good.
196
00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:21,732
- Then you can join the Nazis.
- Excellent.
197
00:12:21,910 --> 00:12:23,867
You'll only be raped by other Nazis.
198
00:12:24,037 --> 00:12:27,702
Raped by Nazis? No way!
199
00:12:27,874 --> 00:12:29,119
Anything else I can do?
200
00:12:29,292 --> 00:12:32,293
Isn't there some way I can
cultivate some outlaw image?
201
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:35,831
- You have to kill a dude.
- Without killing a dude?
202
00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:39,341
In your case,
it'd be a real long shot, Stan.
203
00:12:39,511 --> 00:12:42,547
- Wouldn't happen to have any tats?
- Tats?
204
00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:44,430
Ink.
205
00:12:44,599 --> 00:12:48,597
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't grow up with my mom. So I...
206
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:51,687
When I was 18, I got a tattoo.
207
00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:56,354
"Mommy".
208
00:12:56,528 --> 00:13:00,062
You might as well buy a welcome mat,
strap it to your asshole.
209
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,031
Say, "I'm open for business. "
210
00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:13,032
Whoo!
211
00:13:15,547 --> 00:13:18,631
- Stan?
- I'm gonna get raped!
212
00:13:20,301 --> 00:13:22,424
Stanny!
213
00:13:22,595 --> 00:13:26,260
Stan, honey.
You wanna wake up?
214
00:13:26,432 --> 00:13:29,433
It's 2.00.
215
00:13:30,854 --> 00:13:33,391
- Good morning, dear.
- Good afternoon, Stan.
216
00:13:33,565 --> 00:13:36,482
I got you some orange juice.
217
00:13:40,321 --> 00:13:42,777
It was all a bad dream.
218
00:13:42,949 --> 00:13:46,199
- Just a horrible dream.
- What was your dream, baby?
219
00:13:46,369 --> 00:13:47,863
It was awful!
220
00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:52,580
I was gonna go to prison
and big men were gonna rape me.
221
00:13:53,793 --> 00:13:57,292
But here I am, safe in my bed.
222
00:13:57,463 --> 00:13:59,123
It was all a bad dream.
223
00:13:59,299 --> 00:14:01,837
But you are gonna be going
to prison, right?
224
00:14:02,010 --> 00:14:05,343
- Huh?
- You're going to prison in six months.
225
00:14:06,973 --> 00:14:09,429
No!
226
00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:13,892
Oh! Oh!
227
00:14:14,063 --> 00:14:17,515
Honey, it's OK.
A lot can happen in six months.
228
00:14:17,692 --> 00:14:21,904
What's gonna happen, Mindy?
Is my anus gonna grow teeth?
229
00:14:22,989 --> 00:14:27,698
No, silly! You'll find a way.
You always do.
230
00:14:27,869 --> 00:14:29,363
What'd you just say?
231
00:14:29,537 --> 00:14:32,028
You always find a way.
232
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:36,371
That's right. I always do.
233
00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:39,037
My baby ready to eat breakfast?
234
00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:42,163
Mindy...
235
00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:47,012
...did I have a lot growing up?
236
00:14:47,180 --> 00:14:51,260
No, I did not.
I had nothing growing up.
237
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:55,017
I had a drunk father
who was emotionally unavailable to me.
238
00:14:55,188 --> 00:14:57,513
I had a summer job at Dairy Queen.
239
00:14:57,690 --> 00:15:00,228
I had tomato soup for dinner.
240
00:15:00,401 --> 00:15:02,394
Nobody ever gave me anything.
241
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:06,734
Truly, mine was
a hardscrabble existence.
242
00:15:06,908 --> 00:15:08,735
Yet look at me today.
243
00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:10,949
I own a palatial estate,
244
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,828
I drive a Lamborghini,
245
00:15:12,997 --> 00:15:14,824
I have a summer house on the lake,
246
00:15:14,999 --> 00:15:18,249
a complete Bang & Olufsen
home theatre system,
247
00:15:18,419 --> 00:15:21,089
a beautiful wife.
248
00:15:21,256 --> 00:15:24,790
And whom do I have to thank
for all this stuff?
249
00:15:24,968 --> 00:15:27,803
Me. Nobody else.
250
00:15:27,971 --> 00:15:31,422
Me. I am a winner.
251
00:15:31,599 --> 00:15:35,514
I set my mind to do something,
and I do it.
252
00:15:37,355 --> 00:15:42,350
And so when I say to you
that I will make myself un-rapeable,
253
00:15:42,527 --> 00:15:46,062
I will be un-rapeable!
254
00:15:46,823 --> 00:15:48,234
Yay!
255
00:15:50,243 --> 00:15:53,279
# You're the best around
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
256
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:58,413
# You're the best around
Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
257
00:15:58,585 --> 00:16:00,494
- # You're the best around
- Ow!
258
00:16:01,504 --> 00:16:05,668
# Nothing's gonna ever keep you down
259
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:17,467
I got a couple of things in mind. But
first I got kind of a weird question.
260
00:16:17,645 --> 00:16:20,682
Do you have anything you could tattoo
around my sphincter
261
00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:22,351
to make it less attractive?
262
00:16:24,527 --> 00:16:26,983
Fourteen, 15...
263
00:16:27,155 --> 00:16:31,235
- Stanny, come to bed.
- Not... Not now, Mindy.
264
00:16:31,409 --> 00:16:33,318
Nineteen, 25.
265
00:16:33,494 --> 00:16:36,910
There.
You see new definition?
266
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:39,240
My forearm. I think I see a new vein.
267
00:16:39,417 --> 00:16:41,125
I see a very sexy man.
268
00:16:42,545 --> 00:16:44,087
You do?
269
00:16:44,255 --> 00:16:46,544
Well, I wonder what he's gonna do next.
270
00:16:52,972 --> 00:16:55,179
Take me, darling.
271
00:16:55,975 --> 00:16:59,676
Mindy, I'm gonna go
to prison in a few months.
272
00:16:59,854 --> 00:17:01,348
Not now, honey.
273
00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:07,109
And while I'm there, men are gonna try
to take advantage of me.
274
00:17:07,278 --> 00:17:10,065
- I don't wanna hear about this.
- This is important.
275
00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,279
I'm doing everything I can
276
00:17:12,450 --> 00:17:14,609
to make sure that doesn't happen.
277
00:17:14,786 --> 00:17:17,491
But if it does happen,
and I do get violated...
278
00:17:17,664 --> 00:17:18,826
Stan!
279
00:17:20,416 --> 00:17:23,038
...I want the first time...
280
00:17:23,211 --> 00:17:24,753
...to be by someone I love.
281
00:17:31,427 --> 00:17:32,970
Oh!
282
00:17:34,764 --> 00:17:35,843
Oh.
283
00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:40,844
Stan, I couldn't.
284
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:44,187
Please, Min, for me.
285
00:17:47,485 --> 00:17:51,068
Well... OK.
286
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:55,117
Great.
287
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:11,292
Oh, the horror!
288
00:18:11,551 --> 00:18:13,508
Two!
289
00:18:13,678 --> 00:18:15,671
Three! Four!
290
00:18:15,847 --> 00:18:18,420
Five! Six!
291
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,684
Seven! Eight!
292
00:18:21,853 --> 00:18:24,558
You must concentrate, Stanley.
Concentrate!
293
00:18:24,731 --> 00:18:28,100
- How can I concentrate when I'm bored?
- If you're bored, leave.
294
00:18:28,276 --> 00:18:29,687
Oh, come on, Cho.
295
00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:33,940
- Master Cho!
- Master Cho.
296
00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:37,282
I've been coming here for a week
and I'm still doing baby stuff.
297
00:18:37,452 --> 00:18:39,528
When am I gonna learn to kick some ass?
298
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:43,203
I'm a yellow belt.
Nobody's afraid of a yellow belt.
299
00:18:43,374 --> 00:18:45,581
You think you're ready
to move up in rank?
300
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:47,617
Yeah, that's right.
301
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:50,333
Fine. You'll have your chance.
302
00:18:50,507 --> 00:18:54,290
- Hey, Seymour! Come on.
- All right.
303
00:18:54,469 --> 00:18:57,304
Seymour.
304
00:18:57,472 --> 00:19:00,093
You'll fight Seymour
for honour of green belt.
305
00:19:02,936 --> 00:19:06,139
Want me to fight this little guy?
306
00:19:06,314 --> 00:19:08,770
- All right.
- Fighting stance!
307
00:19:08,942 --> 00:19:11,267
All right, Seymour.
See what you got.
308
00:19:13,655 --> 00:19:15,030
Ah! Ah!
309
00:19:15,198 --> 00:19:16,692
Oof!
310
00:19:23,915 --> 00:19:26,785
- How do you like that, huh, Seymour?
- Stanley!
311
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:37,798
- Uh!
- You can forget about your refund!
312
00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:43,969
Is that all you got?
313
00:19:46,646 --> 00:19:48,140
Ah!
314
00:19:54,571 --> 00:19:56,148
Pussy.
315
00:20:17,468 --> 00:20:19,794
That's some technique you got.
316
00:20:29,898 --> 00:20:35,105
You couldn't knock a shit
out of a paper bag full of shit.
317
00:20:36,446 --> 00:20:38,937
Oh, and you could do better?
318
00:20:54,339 --> 00:20:56,212
Any questions?
319
00:21:00,678 --> 00:21:02,801
- Mindy!
- Dinner's almost ready!
320
00:21:02,972 --> 00:21:05,048
- I got great news!
- What happened to you?
321
00:21:05,225 --> 00:21:07,846
Never mind that.
I just met the best guy. Guess what?
322
00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:11,305
- He's agreed to be my trainer.
- Really? What's his name?
323
00:21:12,357 --> 00:21:13,471
The Master.
324
00:21:16,736 --> 00:21:19,690
- How do you do...
- The Master.
325
00:21:20,615 --> 00:21:22,406
He's gonna live with us and train me.
326
00:21:22,575 --> 00:21:25,031
I have to pay him
when my accounts get unfrozen.
327
00:21:25,203 --> 00:21:26,863
- Oh.
- Ahem.
328
00:21:27,038 --> 00:21:28,698
And the contract.
329
00:21:28,873 --> 00:21:31,198
Yeah, I'll write it up right now.
330
00:21:36,714 --> 00:21:41,092
I'm so sorry, The Master,
but there's no smoking in the house.
331
00:21:44,180 --> 00:21:45,722
Yes, there is.
332
00:21:49,143 --> 00:21:51,717
I better heat up another Lean Cuisine.
333
00:21:51,896 --> 00:21:55,764
Honey, you've done it again.
You heated it just perfect.
334
00:21:56,818 --> 00:21:58,941
So...
335
00:21:59,112 --> 00:22:02,196
...T he Master, where are you from?
336
00:22:02,365 --> 00:22:04,192
Hell.
337
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:10,073
Oh! What brought you to LA? A job?
338
00:22:11,124 --> 00:22:15,453
I travel where the wind takes me.
339
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,750
Isn't he great?
340
00:22:19,924 --> 00:22:23,091
Well, how long have you been
teaching the art of self-defence?
341
00:22:25,805 --> 00:22:29,803
Young lady,
what I teach is not art.
342
00:22:29,976 --> 00:22:31,933
It is science.
343
00:22:32,103 --> 00:22:37,145
A careful amalgam of the most
deadly parts of karate, kung fu,
344
00:22:37,317 --> 00:22:41,813
Wing Chun, Krav Maga, Muay Thai,
345
00:22:41,988 --> 00:22:45,938
savate and Filipino Kali.
346
00:22:46,117 --> 00:22:47,362
My favourite.
347
00:22:47,535 --> 00:22:50,109
Ooh! Wow!
348
00:22:50,872 --> 00:22:53,624
I find weakness
349
00:22:53,791 --> 00:22:56,461
and turn it into strength.
350
00:22:56,628 --> 00:22:59,629
I find fat and turn it into muscle.
351
00:22:59,797 --> 00:23:04,506
I find blisters
and turn them into canker sores.
352
00:23:04,677 --> 00:23:09,256
I find doubt
and I turn it into will.
353
00:23:09,432 --> 00:23:11,674
You can stop doing that now.
354
00:23:11,851 --> 00:23:14,223
- Doing what?
- Your hand.
355
00:23:16,064 --> 00:23:19,729
Oh. I forgot it was there.
356
00:23:23,321 --> 00:23:25,230
I'm gonna take a shit.
357
00:23:28,034 --> 00:23:30,607
- Enjoy yourself.
- Mm.
358
00:23:32,205 --> 00:23:36,203
Stan, honey,
does he really have to live here?
359
00:23:36,376 --> 00:23:38,664
- The Master?
- He scares me.
360
00:23:38,837 --> 00:23:42,704
I know. He scares me too. That's exactly
why he's the perfect guy to teach me.
361
00:23:42,882 --> 00:23:45,587
- But, Stan...
- Look, want me to survive in prison?
362
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,927
- Of course I do.
- Then don't argue with me about this.
363
00:23:49,097 --> 00:23:50,639
You'll see, he'll grow on you.
364
00:24:01,442 --> 00:24:03,850
Wake up, weakling.
365
00:24:04,028 --> 00:24:07,362
What the hell you doing in here?
366
00:24:07,532 --> 00:24:10,865
It's time to begin your training.
367
00:24:11,035 --> 00:24:13,324
But it's five in the morning.
368
00:24:13,496 --> 00:24:16,414
- Is that liver?
- It's your breakfast.
369
00:24:16,583 --> 00:24:21,825
And every moment you delay,
I squeeze out more of its vital juices.
370
00:24:22,005 --> 00:24:24,330
Trust me, you'll need them later.
371
00:24:24,507 --> 00:24:27,876
- OK, I'm up.
- But are you ready?
372
00:24:28,052 --> 00:24:30,722
Look what I found beside your bed.
373
00:24:30,889 --> 00:24:34,139
This is weakness.
374
00:24:34,309 --> 00:24:37,678
This is defeatism.
375
00:24:37,854 --> 00:24:40,475
Actually, we were kind of enjoying that.
376
00:24:40,648 --> 00:24:42,641
Eat this.
377
00:24:43,776 --> 00:24:45,935
And follow me.
378
00:24:52,452 --> 00:24:53,792
Punch!
All right, now kick.
379
00:24:53,828 --> 00:24:56,070
Punch!
All right, now kick.
380
00:24:56,247 --> 00:24:58,536
Kick!
381
00:24:59,584 --> 00:25:00,959
Kick like you mean it!
382
00:25:03,254 --> 00:25:06,789
- Oh!
- I blended that gross stuff you wanted.
383
00:25:06,966 --> 00:25:10,631
I got it all in Koreatown. I didn't
even know there was a Koreatown.
384
00:25:14,307 --> 00:25:16,264
Too many eggs.
385
00:25:16,434 --> 00:25:19,885
The fish oil is nice.
Ox pancreas is good.
386
00:25:21,272 --> 00:25:24,107
- Next time, use more tongue.
- That's what she said.
387
00:25:24,275 --> 00:25:26,019
- Ooh!
- Oh, Stan!
388
00:25:26,194 --> 00:25:28,068
- I'm all right.
- Get away from him!
389
00:25:28,238 --> 00:25:32,615
- I'm OK.
- Rise and drink your lunch.
390
00:25:41,125 --> 00:25:43,414
Don't I get to eat anything
that tastes good?
391
00:25:46,714 --> 00:25:50,664
- You like hot dogs?
- Yeah, sure.
392
00:25:50,844 --> 00:25:53,169
If you don't drink that,
393
00:25:53,346 --> 00:25:55,718
the boys in prison will feed you...
394
00:25:57,058 --> 00:25:59,347
...many hot dogs.
395
00:26:08,820 --> 00:26:11,987
I can kick your ass so fast
you wouldn't even feel it.
396
00:26:12,156 --> 00:26:15,656
I'd like to see that.
397
00:26:15,827 --> 00:26:19,030
You didn't kick me in the ass.
I didn't feel anything.
398
00:26:27,589 --> 00:26:29,712
Ow! Ow!
399
00:26:29,883 --> 00:26:32,338
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
400
00:26:32,510 --> 00:26:34,384
Ow! Ow! Ow!
401
00:26:34,554 --> 00:26:36,013
Oh! Ow! Ooh!
402
00:26:36,181 --> 00:26:38,672
- Pain is interpretation.
- OK.
403
00:26:38,850 --> 00:26:43,428
I'm gonna call a time-out here. You're
beating my husband with a flaming stick.
404
00:26:43,605 --> 00:26:46,689
Isn't there some kind
of role-playing exercise you can do?
405
00:26:46,858 --> 00:26:49,349
Run along, honey.
This is man stuff here.
406
00:26:49,527 --> 00:26:51,271
Go ahead, Master.
407
00:26:51,446 --> 00:26:53,688
Ow! Ow! Ow!
408
00:26:53,865 --> 00:26:57,400
Ow! Ah! Oh!
409
00:26:57,577 --> 00:26:59,700
Ow! Ah!
410
00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:08,499
No disrespect, I realise this
is strengthening my nipples.
411
00:27:08,671 --> 00:27:11,506
And believe me, I can feel the burn.
412
00:27:11,674 --> 00:27:15,719
I was wondering,
just how important are strong nipples?
413
00:27:15,887 --> 00:27:18,508
- Someday these nipples...
- Ah!
414
00:27:18,681 --> 00:27:21,552
...may save your life.
- Ah!
415
00:27:22,894 --> 00:27:26,393
You are what you eat.
416
00:27:26,564 --> 00:27:29,850
Um, are you sure
that's Eastern mysticism?
417
00:27:30,026 --> 00:27:33,027
Because I learned that
in health class in third grade.
418
00:27:33,196 --> 00:27:34,820
Silence, woman.
419
00:27:34,989 --> 00:27:38,939
I mean, all that stuff about pain
and illusion sounds totally mystical.
420
00:27:39,118 --> 00:27:42,404
But "you are what you eat"?
Even I know that. And I am from Omaha.
421
00:27:45,208 --> 00:27:47,450
What part of Omaha?
422
00:27:47,627 --> 00:27:50,248
- Oh!
- Dundee.
423
00:27:51,339 --> 00:27:52,917
Happy Hollow.
424
00:27:54,008 --> 00:27:55,419
You're Oscar?
425
00:27:55,593 --> 00:27:58,167
I should have known.
426
00:27:58,346 --> 00:28:02,178
Those womanly, childbearing hips
427
00:28:02,350 --> 00:28:07,392
could not be a product
of this perfidious coast.
428
00:28:07,564 --> 00:28:10,849
Uh, do you mind?
I'm trying to eat scorpion here.
429
00:28:11,025 --> 00:28:13,148
Insolent fool!
430
00:28:13,653 --> 00:28:16,524
You have lost the right
431
00:28:16,698 --> 00:28:19,236
to eat scorpion.
432
00:28:22,537 --> 00:28:26,321
Great. There goes my lunch.
433
00:28:26,499 --> 00:28:28,124
- Thanks.
- This is not working.
434
00:28:28,293 --> 00:28:30,036
- Master says...
- Master's a jerk.
435
00:28:30,211 --> 00:28:31,705
- Shh!
- He is!
436
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:36,458
And he is a creep. The house smells.
Does he have to smoke in every room?
437
00:28:36,634 --> 00:28:40,466
The only time I see you alone is in bed
and you're too tired to...
438
00:28:40,638 --> 00:28:44,007
Hey! I got five months, and then
it's prison. I gotta stay focused.
439
00:28:44,184 --> 00:28:48,644
I gotta think, eat, breathe prison.
I don't have time for anything else.
440
00:28:48,813 --> 00:28:51,814
Not even time for me?
441
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:55,689
Tell you what.
442
00:28:55,862 --> 00:28:59,231
After I'm done working out
with The Master, I'll rent some movies,
443
00:28:59,407 --> 00:29:02,776
and we'll cuddle around the TV
like old times, OK?
444
00:29:02,952 --> 00:29:04,744
Really?
445
00:29:12,962 --> 00:29:14,077
Mindy!
446
00:29:14,255 --> 00:29:17,090
Some men broke into the house!
They wanna rape you!
447
00:29:17,258 --> 00:29:19,465
- What?
- Big men!
448
00:29:19,636 --> 00:29:22,755
- They wanna rape you! Repeatedly!
- What about The Master?
449
00:29:22,931 --> 00:29:26,430
They have guns! They killed him!
There's nothing we can do!
450
00:29:26,601 --> 00:29:29,518
- You're gonna get raped! Raped!
- Oh, my God!
451
00:29:29,687 --> 00:29:32,357
Raped!
452
00:29:32,524 --> 00:29:34,481
Rape!
453
00:29:36,694 --> 00:29:38,153
There.
454
00:29:40,657 --> 00:29:43,776
- Now you know how I feel.
- What?
455
00:29:43,952 --> 00:29:47,534
Fear of rape. That's what I'm gonna
have to live with for three years.
456
00:29:47,705 --> 00:29:51,288
Nobody broke
into the house?
457
00:29:51,459 --> 00:29:52,657
That's right.
458
00:29:52,836 --> 00:29:55,872
Now maybe you'll be supportive
of what I'm going through.
459
00:29:56,047 --> 00:29:59,665
You son of a bitch!
460
00:30:01,261 --> 00:30:03,549
- OK, you're upset.
- You son of a bitch!
461
00:30:03,721 --> 00:30:06,509
- You don't have to call names. Mindy!
- Son of a bitch!
462
00:30:06,683 --> 00:30:11,261
- Bitch, bitch, bitch! You bastard!
- Mindy. Mindy!
463
00:30:11,437 --> 00:30:14,723
Oh! Mindy.
464
00:30:14,899 --> 00:30:17,569
- What are you doing?
- What's it look like? Leaving.
465
00:30:17,735 --> 00:30:20,986
Why? Because I pull one little prank,
which when you calm down...
466
00:30:21,155 --> 00:30:23,907
It's not just one prank!
You only think about yourself!
467
00:30:24,075 --> 00:30:26,993
You're the most selfish man
who ever lived, ever! Ever!
468
00:30:27,161 --> 00:30:30,577
Whoa! Excuse me? Selfish?
I find that funny! I really do!
469
00:30:30,748 --> 00:30:33,121
I've given you everything
you've ever wanted!
470
00:30:33,293 --> 00:30:34,870
- You're crazy!
- This house!
471
00:30:35,044 --> 00:30:37,002
- It's in your name.
- Those boobs!
472
00:30:37,172 --> 00:30:40,256
- You wanted these.
- You said the Lamborghini's too small,
473
00:30:40,425 --> 00:30:44,339
- I got a second car.
- A 1955 Porsche Speedster!
474
00:30:44,512 --> 00:30:47,513
- It has a back seat!
- Oh!
475
00:30:48,516 --> 00:30:52,561
- What do you want? I'll do anything.
- I want a baby, you asshole!
476
00:30:52,729 --> 00:30:55,646
That again? Fine. OK. You win.
477
00:30:55,815 --> 00:30:58,306
- We'll have a baby.
- Really?
478
00:30:58,484 --> 00:31:01,320
No, not really,
but we can visit people who have kids.
479
00:31:04,449 --> 00:31:06,276
Goodbye!
480
00:31:07,994 --> 00:31:10,485
Good, leave! I don't need you!
481
00:31:10,663 --> 00:31:12,455
I don't need anybody!
482
00:31:12,624 --> 00:31:15,162
God!
483
00:31:15,335 --> 00:31:19,415
Uh, one moment. I'm... meditating.
484
00:31:23,968 --> 00:31:26,340
It's so big! Oh, God!
485
00:31:26,513 --> 00:31:28,137
Mindy left.
486
00:31:28,556 --> 00:31:30,928
- Yes, yes, yes!
- Good.
487
00:31:31,100 --> 00:31:34,101
Oh, God!
488
00:31:34,270 --> 00:31:37,888
Now, the real training can begin.
489
00:31:40,318 --> 00:31:44,363
We do not have time
to teach you the five fingers of death.
490
00:31:44,531 --> 00:31:47,650
We have only time for one finger.
491
00:31:48,201 --> 00:31:49,695
Pick one.
492
00:31:50,703 --> 00:31:53,740
All right. Wait. This one.
493
00:31:57,836 --> 00:31:59,294
Hold this.
494
00:32:08,930 --> 00:32:10,128
Your turn.
495
00:32:24,070 --> 00:32:27,688
Ah! Ow!
496
00:32:27,866 --> 00:32:31,697
Ah! Ah!
497
00:32:47,385 --> 00:32:49,212
Ah!
498
00:32:59,981 --> 00:33:03,765
# You don't know what to do, you're
sitting there and you're all alone
499
00:33:03,943 --> 00:33:06,351
Don't look at what you're doing.
500
00:33:06,529 --> 00:33:09,566
Just feel. Feel.
501
00:33:09,741 --> 00:33:13,276
# You've got no place to call your home
502
00:33:13,453 --> 00:33:16,786
I felt. It felt bad.
503
00:33:19,125 --> 00:33:20,750
Oh!
504
00:33:23,046 --> 00:33:27,708
You must learn to feel your opponent.
Know his intentions.
505
00:33:30,345 --> 00:33:34,757
If he is good at a distance,
then you must be close.
506
00:33:38,603 --> 00:33:44,107
If he is good close,
then you must fight him at a distance.
507
00:33:50,281 --> 00:33:54,279
What if your opponent is good close
and from a distance?
508
00:33:54,452 --> 00:33:56,492
Then you are up
to your eyeballs in shit.
509
00:33:56,663 --> 00:33:59,201
Watch your mouth.
You are nobody.
510
00:34:01,668 --> 00:34:02,699
Ow!
511
00:34:04,003 --> 00:34:06,673
- Hey, what are those?
- A little something I picked up
512
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:09,794
- at the Shaolin temple.
- What do you use them for?
513
00:34:09,968 --> 00:34:11,378
Oh!
514
00:34:12,136 --> 00:34:13,595
Oh! Ow!
515
00:34:13,763 --> 00:34:15,554
Oh! Ah!
516
00:34:16,349 --> 00:34:18,306
Your lunch.
517
00:35:11,070 --> 00:35:13,561
Yeah.
518
00:35:18,036 --> 00:35:20,324
- Whoo-hoo!
- All right, that's close enough.
519
00:35:24,125 --> 00:35:25,156
Whoo-hoo!
520
00:35:26,377 --> 00:35:28,370
Hoo-hoo!
521
00:35:30,048 --> 00:35:32,669
Ah!
522
00:35:34,886 --> 00:35:37,092
Never celebrate too early.
523
00:35:37,263 --> 00:35:38,841
I'll remember that.
524
00:35:47,190 --> 00:35:48,388
Yes.
525
00:35:52,070 --> 00:35:54,477
Mississippi five, Mississippi six,
526
00:35:54,656 --> 00:35:56,981
Mississippi seven, Mississippi eight,
527
00:35:57,158 --> 00:36:00,242
Mississippi nine...
528
00:36:00,411 --> 00:36:02,653
My God! That is amazing!
529
00:36:02,830 --> 00:36:04,823
Oh, that's nothing.
You should see him.
530
00:36:04,999 --> 00:36:09,412
It's easy for me. Cigarettes have
ruined my circulation so much
531
00:36:09,587 --> 00:36:12,257
I can't even feel my hands anymore.
532
00:36:12,423 --> 00:36:14,333
So that's your trick.
533
00:36:14,509 --> 00:36:16,051
Mm-hm.
534
00:36:16,636 --> 00:36:21,262
Here's to Stan Minton,
my second finest student.
535
00:36:21,432 --> 00:36:23,758
Second finest?
536
00:36:23,935 --> 00:36:25,643
Who's number one?
537
00:36:25,812 --> 00:36:28,813
I hope you never have to find that out.
538
00:36:28,982 --> 00:36:32,600
He used what I taught him,
not for his own protection,
539
00:36:32,777 --> 00:36:35,019
but for evil.
540
00:36:39,868 --> 00:36:43,735
Well, fuck that guy.
Here's to number two.
541
00:36:43,913 --> 00:36:49,287
Now, drink up.
Stan has one final test.
542
00:36:50,628 --> 00:36:52,004
Tonight.
543
00:36:54,883 --> 00:36:57,883
I do? OK.
544
00:36:58,052 --> 00:36:59,677
Let's go for it.
545
00:37:17,030 --> 00:37:18,738
Hello, Cho.
546
00:37:18,907 --> 00:37:21,658
It's Master Cho to you.
547
00:37:21,826 --> 00:37:26,038
Master Cho? Or Masturbator Cho?
548
00:37:26,206 --> 00:37:30,334
- Excuse me?
- You heard me... punk.
549
00:37:34,547 --> 00:37:37,382
Looking for a beat-down, mister?
550
00:37:37,550 --> 00:37:40,919
What are you looking for?
To beat off?
551
00:37:41,095 --> 00:37:42,839
That's it.
552
00:37:54,901 --> 00:37:55,980
Ooh!
553
00:38:16,631 --> 00:38:18,374
Very good, Stan.
554
00:38:18,550 --> 00:38:20,673
You mind walking me to my car?
555
00:38:20,844 --> 00:38:23,335
All right.
556
00:38:23,513 --> 00:38:27,926
I don't feel too comfortable here.
I don't think the Asian people like me.
557
00:38:41,447 --> 00:38:46,275
All right, you just go up those steps,
turn yourself in for processing.
558
00:38:46,452 --> 00:38:48,825
By the way, slight change of plans.
559
00:38:48,997 --> 00:38:51,867
The Bureau of Prisons
called me yesterday.
560
00:38:52,041 --> 00:38:55,126
They're sending you to Oaksburg,
not Verlaine.
561
00:38:55,295 --> 00:38:59,162
- Why?
- Who knows? Bureaucracy.
562
00:38:59,340 --> 00:39:02,460
It makes no difference.
563
00:39:04,012 --> 00:39:06,799
Go on. You'll do great.
564
00:39:06,973 --> 00:39:09,844
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
565
00:39:13,438 --> 00:39:16,854
Uh, did Mindy or her lawyer call
about the divorce?
566
00:39:19,611 --> 00:39:22,896
It's not like I care anyway.
All right.
567
00:39:23,072 --> 00:39:24,982
See you guys in three years.
568
00:39:30,705 --> 00:39:35,082
- What do you think?
- I think you should walk away quickly.
569
00:39:43,593 --> 00:39:46,594
- Ah! Filthy pig!
- I need a beer.
570
00:39:46,763 --> 00:39:48,091
Oh!
571
00:39:48,264 --> 00:39:50,969
Don't get in the car!
572
00:40:12,163 --> 00:40:14,156
This your first time?
573
00:40:16,584 --> 00:40:20,000
Hey, sweetie,
ain't you got a name?
574
00:40:20,171 --> 00:40:22,294
Ah!
575
00:40:22,465 --> 00:40:25,799
Talk to me again,
I'll twist your whole damn titty off.
576
00:40:25,969 --> 00:40:29,219
- Ooh, my mama, ooh, my mama.
- Hey, man, I'm scared too.
577
00:40:29,389 --> 00:40:31,880
But it can't be as bad
as they say it is.
578
00:40:32,058 --> 00:40:36,222
It's just as bad as they say.
The sooner you realise that, the better.
579
00:40:36,396 --> 00:40:40,725
- Tell 'em.
- You'll find out, soon enough.
580
00:40:42,569 --> 00:40:44,941
What'd I say about talking to me?
581
00:40:46,406 --> 00:40:47,734
Damn, man!
582
00:41:10,763 --> 00:41:13,468
Welcome to Oaksburg Penitentiary.
583
00:41:13,641 --> 00:41:16,726
For reasons beyond
what I care to imagine,
584
00:41:16,895 --> 00:41:20,643
you gentlemen have found yourselves
under my stewardship.
585
00:41:20,815 --> 00:41:25,027
My name is Warden Francis Gasque.
586
00:41:25,195 --> 00:41:27,602
But you can just call me Boss.
587
00:41:27,780 --> 00:41:31,529
We only got one rule here at Oaksburg:
588
00:41:31,701 --> 00:41:37,288
Don't fuck with the Boss. That means
you leave me and my men alone.
589
00:41:37,457 --> 00:41:42,166
What you animals do to each other,
that's your business.
590
00:41:42,337 --> 00:41:46,085
And right behind you
is the warden's garden.
591
00:41:46,257 --> 00:41:51,418
Anybody caught pissing on that
will have his penis removed.
592
00:41:53,056 --> 00:41:56,756
Sergeant Bullard will lead you
to the medical office where you'll strip
593
00:41:56,935 --> 00:42:01,015
and have your cavities searched.
You're gonna enjoy that.
594
00:42:01,189 --> 00:42:05,483
Now, gentlemen! Single file.
Come on! Get up there.
595
00:42:05,652 --> 00:42:06,683
Pecker to butt hole.
596
00:42:11,199 --> 00:42:14,484
All right, assume the position.
597
00:42:20,208 --> 00:42:23,956
Why you screaming like a little girl?!
598
00:42:24,128 --> 00:42:27,165
Sarge, look.
599
00:42:27,340 --> 00:42:29,131
Sweet Jesus!
600
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:36,097
It's like an alien
staring into my soul.
601
00:42:38,184 --> 00:42:42,597
Welcome home. New luxury condos,
compliments of the state.
602
00:42:42,772 --> 00:42:44,480
Step it up, boys.
603
00:42:50,488 --> 00:42:53,489
Come on, sweet meat!
604
00:43:01,749 --> 00:43:06,376
Hello there, young fella.
I guess we're cellmates.
605
00:43:07,839 --> 00:43:11,884
My name's Larry.
But you can call me Shorts.
606
00:43:12,051 --> 00:43:14,589
Shorts, you're in my bunk.
607
00:43:14,762 --> 00:43:18,677
- What?
- That's my bunk. Get out.
608
00:43:18,850 --> 00:43:22,183
You hold on there
just a second.
609
00:43:22,353 --> 00:43:25,722
This is my bunk.
What gives you the right to...
610
00:43:25,899 --> 00:43:27,476
Ow!
611
00:43:29,110 --> 00:43:34,449
- I said that's my bunk.
- Yeah, I guess it is.
612
00:43:34,616 --> 00:43:35,814
Whoo!
613
00:43:42,207 --> 00:43:45,576
Uh, you might wanna change the sheets.
614
00:43:47,504 --> 00:43:50,421
I'm kind of a compulsive masturbator.
615
00:43:55,386 --> 00:43:56,929
Shorts, that's your bunk.
616
00:43:57,096 --> 00:44:00,300
- Really?
- Absolutely.
617
00:44:00,475 --> 00:44:04,389
Thanks, buddy.
I think we're gonna get along just fine.
618
00:44:04,562 --> 00:44:05,843
Hey, put her here.
619
00:44:08,191 --> 00:44:11,774
- I don't shake hands.
- Well, whatever.
620
00:44:15,865 --> 00:44:18,273
Ah, good to be back.
621
00:44:20,411 --> 00:44:23,163
Tell me, Shorts,
who's the toughest guy here?
622
00:44:23,331 --> 00:44:25,573
Who's the biggest bad-ass
in the cell block?
623
00:44:25,750 --> 00:44:29,000
Biggest bad-ass...
There's a lot of contenders.
624
00:44:29,170 --> 00:44:33,120
There's Cleon. He's leader
of the Diamond Kings, the black gang.
625
00:44:33,299 --> 00:44:38,092
- I seen him kill a man with his fist.
- That's right! Yeah!
626
00:44:38,263 --> 00:44:42,640
Then there's Juanito.
He's head of the Mexican gang.
627
00:44:42,809 --> 00:44:44,801
Hey, get back. Hey!
628
00:44:44,978 --> 00:44:48,643
And whatever you do,
don't go near those guys.
629
00:44:48,815 --> 00:44:53,975
- The goal is to express ourselves...
- They're Scientologists.
630
00:44:54,153 --> 00:44:57,688
- They don't look so tough.
- Yeah. They'll talk your ear off
631
00:44:57,866 --> 00:45:00,357
- and then sue your ass.
... distinguish fear.
632
00:45:00,535 --> 00:45:04,485
Then there's the Nazis.
None of them are too tough.
633
00:45:04,664 --> 00:45:08,744
They don't fight fair and don't fight
alone. They always gang up on you.
634
00:45:08,918 --> 00:45:11,836
Their leader, Patterson,
he's a real bastard.
635
00:45:12,005 --> 00:45:15,456
His uncle's the head
of the Aryan Nation.
636
00:45:15,633 --> 00:45:17,460
Let me clarify my question, Shorts.
637
00:45:17,635 --> 00:45:20,305
Who's the most
dangerous sexual predator?
638
00:45:20,471 --> 00:45:22,429
Oh, that's easy.
639
00:45:22,599 --> 00:45:25,765
It's Big Raymond.
Absolutely insatiable.
640
00:45:25,935 --> 00:45:28,936
Crazy. The other black guys
don't go near him.
641
00:45:29,105 --> 00:45:32,770
But they'd back him up
if it came to a fight.
642
00:45:32,942 --> 00:45:35,184
Big Raymond it is.
643
00:45:35,361 --> 00:45:37,235
- Can I borrow that?
- Yeah.
644
00:45:37,405 --> 00:45:38,899
Thanks.
645
00:45:40,617 --> 00:45:43,321
Hey, Stan. Stan, where you going?
646
00:45:43,494 --> 00:45:46,365
You think that cigarette was free?
Is that what you think?
647
00:45:46,539 --> 00:45:49,209
I'll pay you back, man.
I don't have any money.
648
00:45:49,375 --> 00:45:51,831
You think I want money?
649
00:45:53,046 --> 00:45:54,208
Mmm...
650
00:45:54,380 --> 00:45:57,963
- Excuse me.
- Bug off, bitch!
651
00:45:58,134 --> 00:46:00,542
I'll get to you later.
652
00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:02,594
Did you just call me bitch?
653
00:46:04,057 --> 00:46:06,014
Yeah, I said it.
654
00:46:09,854 --> 00:46:11,977
Hey, everybody! Did you hear that?
655
00:46:12,148 --> 00:46:15,351
Big Raymond, for no reason,
just called me bitch!
656
00:46:15,527 --> 00:46:17,234
Now, was that nice?
657
00:46:17,403 --> 00:46:20,155
It's not like I called him fat.
658
00:46:21,449 --> 00:46:24,569
It's not like I said I seen pig shit
prettier than he is.
659
00:46:27,163 --> 00:46:30,864
It's not like I said his mother's pussy
smells like egg salad.
660
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:33,584
Which it does.
661
00:46:42,011 --> 00:46:45,131
Oh, hell nah! Ohhh, hell nah!
662
00:46:45,306 --> 00:46:48,510
Hell nah! Oh, hell nah!
663
00:46:48,685 --> 00:46:50,558
Ho-ho! Yeah!
664
00:47:04,450 --> 00:47:07,866
Ah! Ah!
665
00:47:08,037 --> 00:47:10,659
Ahhh!
666
00:47:12,876 --> 00:47:14,500
Who's the bitch now, bitch?
667
00:47:16,379 --> 00:47:17,707
Ooh!
668
00:47:17,881 --> 00:47:20,798
I told you Raymond was gonna get
his ass beat. I told you!
669
00:47:24,387 --> 00:47:27,174
My cracker!
670
00:47:27,348 --> 00:47:29,804
Laying the boot to the big nigga.
Give it up!
671
00:47:29,976 --> 00:47:32,847
Don't use that word around me.
It's ugly and racist.
672
00:47:34,355 --> 00:47:38,104
Yeah, dawg!
673
00:47:39,527 --> 00:47:41,401
He's funny too, man.
674
00:47:41,571 --> 00:47:44,406
All right, listen here, player.
All right?
675
00:47:44,574 --> 00:47:48,192
We want you to join up with us,
nah mean? Them niggas is gonna tear...
676
00:47:48,369 --> 00:47:50,492
Ooh!
677
00:47:50,663 --> 00:47:52,537
I said don't talk that way around me.
678
00:47:52,707 --> 00:47:54,082
Let me get some of that!
679
00:47:54,250 --> 00:47:57,335
- Let's kill him.
- No, I got it, I got it. I got it!
680
00:47:58,171 --> 00:48:00,045
Handle your business, Cleon.
681
00:48:03,635 --> 00:48:07,335
Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're gonna
stick up for that fat son of a bitch.
682
00:48:07,514 --> 00:48:10,847
You happen to see the colour
of that fat son of a bitch's skin?
683
00:48:11,017 --> 00:48:13,223
Hey, aren't we over that?
684
00:48:13,394 --> 00:48:16,182
Didn't you see that Nova episode?
Huh, you guys?
685
00:48:16,356 --> 00:48:18,395
They did that DNA test.
686
00:48:18,566 --> 00:48:21,022
- We all come from Africa.
- Kick his ass.
687
00:48:21,194 --> 00:48:25,441
It's a proven fact. Under the skin,
I'm just as black as you are.
688
00:48:25,615 --> 00:48:27,074
- Fuck that.
- Get him!
689
00:48:27,242 --> 00:48:30,942
- Get him, man! Get him! Get him!
- Motherfucker!
690
00:48:37,377 --> 00:48:39,334
- Get him!
- Ah!
691
00:48:50,557 --> 00:48:52,265
Man, get that fool!
692
00:49:05,113 --> 00:49:06,358
Dumb bitch!
693
00:49:10,660 --> 00:49:12,451
Hold on. See what happens.
694
00:49:19,294 --> 00:49:21,417
- Oh!
- Ah!
695
00:49:38,521 --> 00:49:40,728
Oh!
696
00:49:47,405 --> 00:49:50,192
- Take the stick!
- No, don't take it!
697
00:49:56,998 --> 00:49:59,915
- Take the stick!
- No, don't take it!
698
00:50:01,669 --> 00:50:03,543
Oh, he did it again.
699
00:50:09,093 --> 00:50:11,300
- Take the stick! Take it!
- Mm-hm?
700
00:50:11,471 --> 00:50:14,140
No, no, don't take it!
701
00:50:18,770 --> 00:50:20,430
Whoo!
702
00:50:22,857 --> 00:50:25,146
I told him
not to take that stick.
703
00:50:33,117 --> 00:50:35,075
Even the Asian!
704
00:50:35,662 --> 00:50:37,654
Where the hell did that guy come from?
705
00:50:37,830 --> 00:50:39,704
- Whoo!
- Damn!
706
00:50:39,874 --> 00:50:42,081
- That guy's good.
- All right.
707
00:50:42,252 --> 00:50:44,125
Come on, Cleon.
708
00:50:44,295 --> 00:50:46,965
It's your time, baby.
Don't be scared.
709
00:50:47,131 --> 00:50:49,338
It's your time to shine, Cleon.
710
00:50:50,301 --> 00:50:51,582
Ooh!
711
00:50:54,556 --> 00:50:56,595
Cleon.
712
00:50:56,766 --> 00:51:00,894
If you wanna fight me,
you're gonna have to fight me.
713
00:51:01,062 --> 00:51:04,182
- I understand.
- Pick up your gold teeth.
714
00:51:04,357 --> 00:51:07,856
I'm gonna let you keep them this time.
715
00:51:08,027 --> 00:51:10,067
But if you come at me again...
716
00:51:10,697 --> 00:51:13,104
...I'm gonna hang onto them
like a Swiss banker.
717
00:51:28,548 --> 00:51:31,003
Ya'll ain't gonna help me?
718
00:51:31,176 --> 00:51:33,845
I'm missing a bicuspid.
719
00:51:35,305 --> 00:51:37,712
We should have killed him.
720
00:51:37,891 --> 00:51:41,840
Somebody,
call an orthodontist.
721
00:51:46,482 --> 00:51:50,017
Hm. I see Mr Minton
has acquainted himself
722
00:51:50,195 --> 00:51:52,401
with his new surroundings.
723
00:51:53,448 --> 00:51:56,402
I believe it's time I had
my little chat with him.
724
00:52:01,497 --> 00:52:02,956
Ow!
725
00:52:05,084 --> 00:52:08,703
Whoa, whoa, look out.
726
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:10,919
Beat it. All of you.
727
00:52:21,226 --> 00:52:25,519
Oh, man, this stuff's good. I don't know
what everybody's complaining about.
728
00:52:25,688 --> 00:52:27,480
You're kidding me.
729
00:52:27,649 --> 00:52:30,733
Hey, man.
I just wanna say thanks.
730
00:52:32,028 --> 00:52:33,059
For what?
731
00:52:34,906 --> 00:52:37,741
You know, for helping me before.
732
00:52:37,909 --> 00:52:39,107
With Big Raymond.
733
00:52:39,285 --> 00:52:42,156
I wasn't helping you.
I was helping me.
734
00:52:43,039 --> 00:52:47,037
I had to beat up the biggest shithead.
He happened to be talking to you.
735
00:52:47,961 --> 00:52:49,503
OK.
736
00:52:50,630 --> 00:52:53,797
But, you know, I... I mean, I...
737
00:52:53,967 --> 00:52:55,959
I think that guy wanted to fuck me.
738
00:52:59,806 --> 00:53:03,804
Trust me, in your case,
I was just putting off the inevitable.
739
00:53:09,732 --> 00:53:13,018
Yeah.
740
00:53:13,194 --> 00:53:14,605
Well, thanks anyway.
741
00:53:16,447 --> 00:53:19,899
What's your name, girl?
Don't be shy, just say hi.
742
00:53:20,785 --> 00:53:23,193
Come here. Kick back, baby girl!
743
00:53:23,371 --> 00:53:26,372
Little hard on the kid, weren't you?
744
00:53:26,541 --> 00:53:29,826
That's got nothing to do with me.
And I'm gonna keep it that way.
745
00:53:30,003 --> 00:53:32,244
- You got that?
- Mm-hm.
746
00:53:48,271 --> 00:53:50,477
One-one-five!
747
00:53:53,318 --> 00:53:56,734
Minton, warden wants to see you.
Get up.
748
00:53:56,905 --> 00:53:59,277
- Me?
- Now! Walk!
749
00:54:00,491 --> 00:54:02,199
Put your hands behind your back.
750
00:54:05,705 --> 00:54:08,872
Come in.
751
00:54:13,421 --> 00:54:15,793
Minton, I'm glad you could make it.
752
00:54:15,965 --> 00:54:19,334
- You can take the cuffs off him.
- Sure you wanna do that, Boss?
753
00:54:19,511 --> 00:54:21,587
I said take 'em off.
754
00:54:21,763 --> 00:54:24,336
It's all right.
755
00:54:24,516 --> 00:54:25,796
I already got 'em.
756
00:54:27,852 --> 00:54:29,892
It's a matter of dislocating the wrists.
757
00:54:34,817 --> 00:54:38,685
Ew! Ew, that is creepy!
758
00:54:38,863 --> 00:54:42,113
You can wait outside.
759
00:54:43,159 --> 00:54:44,274
Have a seat.
760
00:54:50,083 --> 00:54:52,918
Warden, if this is about me
fighting in the yard, it...
761
00:54:53,086 --> 00:54:54,580
Cigar?
762
00:54:56,381 --> 00:54:57,839
Thank you.
763
00:55:01,594 --> 00:55:02,792
Brandy?
764
00:55:04,514 --> 00:55:06,720
Sure.
765
00:55:16,609 --> 00:55:18,649
You know, you wardens should complain.
766
00:55:18,820 --> 00:55:23,031
'Cause in the movies,
they always make you look like assholes.
767
00:55:23,199 --> 00:55:28,276
Well,
I don't plan on being a warden forever.
768
00:55:28,454 --> 00:55:31,076
- Is that right?
- Tell me, Minton.
769
00:55:31,249 --> 00:55:33,621
What do you think of this place?
770
00:55:35,086 --> 00:55:37,494
It's OK, for a prison.
771
00:55:37,672 --> 00:55:41,884
Not the prison. The land.
772
00:55:45,388 --> 00:55:50,264
It's a nice sized property. Great views
of the foothills and city. Level grade.
773
00:55:50,435 --> 00:55:53,768
I'm assuming there's
bedrock beneath us.
774
00:55:53,938 --> 00:55:58,684
Easy access to downtown.
I see some nice development potential.
775
00:55:58,860 --> 00:56:02,027
- Too bad you got a prison on it.
- Exactly.
776
00:56:02,197 --> 00:56:06,526
You know, it's no accident
you came to Oaksburg.
777
00:56:06,701 --> 00:56:09,572
I pulled a few strings
to get you here.
778
00:56:12,665 --> 00:56:14,325
What made you wanna do that?
779
00:56:16,711 --> 00:56:18,170
Come here.
780
00:56:22,050 --> 00:56:25,170
Oaksburg Estates.
781
00:56:25,345 --> 00:56:29,757
I'm a silent partner, so to speak,
with some private investors
782
00:56:29,933 --> 00:56:35,223
who would like to develop this land
into timeshare condominiums.
783
00:56:35,396 --> 00:56:39,264
I believe that's
your field of expertise.
784
00:56:39,442 --> 00:56:42,858
- True.
- 'Course, all this is only possible
785
00:56:43,029 --> 00:56:45,816
in the event the prison
ever closes down.
786
00:56:45,990 --> 00:56:49,655
- Makes sense.
- You know, I'm in the prison business.
787
00:56:49,827 --> 00:56:52,497
I know how to break a man's will,
crush his spirit.
788
00:56:52,664 --> 00:56:56,875
But them real estate contracts,
those things put a real hurt on you.
789
00:56:57,043 --> 00:56:58,585
That's where you come in.
790
00:57:03,341 --> 00:57:06,295
- What's in it for me?
- How would you like to be out of here
791
00:57:06,469 --> 00:57:07,500
in a year?
792
00:57:09,722 --> 00:57:14,052
- But I've got a mandatory minimum.
- Wardens have great discretion
793
00:57:14,227 --> 00:57:19,055
getting early parole, especially
to non-violent, first-time offenders.
794
00:57:19,232 --> 00:57:23,894
- Prisons are crowded, you know.
- The system is corrupt.
795
00:57:24,070 --> 00:57:25,315
Me likey.
796
00:57:25,488 --> 00:57:29,071
But you gotta move the luxury units
closer to the lagoon.
797
00:57:29,242 --> 00:57:31,911
That'll double rents.
Parking goes underground.
798
00:57:32,078 --> 00:57:35,494
Wasting space. Eight extra units.
Whoever designed this is a moron.
799
00:57:35,665 --> 00:57:38,666
- How will you get rid of the prison?
- Let me worry about that.
800
00:57:38,835 --> 00:57:41,160
Tell me more about them parking spaces.
801
00:58:06,738 --> 00:58:09,110
You strapped?
802
00:58:09,282 --> 00:58:11,654
He ain't gonna know what hit him,
nah mean?
803
00:58:24,088 --> 00:58:25,120
Ah!
804
00:58:28,009 --> 00:58:30,334
That's gonna scar, you psycho.
805
00:58:35,433 --> 00:58:37,473
Whoo!
806
00:58:48,238 --> 00:58:50,195
You want that shiv, don't you?
807
00:58:51,866 --> 00:58:54,737
You made that with a melted toothbrush
and a razorblade?
808
00:58:54,911 --> 00:58:56,654
- That's very creative.
- Ah!
809
00:59:02,836 --> 00:59:06,086
Look what I made
with three bars of soap and a shoelace.
810
00:59:07,340 --> 00:59:09,249
Cracker, please.
811
00:59:09,425 --> 00:59:12,877
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
812
00:59:26,985 --> 00:59:28,977
Come on, race traitor.
813
00:59:31,656 --> 00:59:33,814
- Ah!
- Ooh!
814
00:59:40,415 --> 00:59:42,039
Oh!
815
00:59:42,750 --> 00:59:45,455
Ha!
816
00:59:45,628 --> 00:59:47,787
Hee-yah!
817
00:59:49,757 --> 00:59:51,382
He's all yours.
818
00:59:53,344 --> 00:59:54,969
This gonna be fun.
819
01:00:04,772 --> 01:00:08,640
Hey, Stan. What'd you do to Patterson?
820
01:00:08,818 --> 01:00:11,190
I just roughed him up a little bit.
821
01:00:11,362 --> 01:00:15,111
- Why?
- Somebody took a shiv to his ass.
822
01:00:15,283 --> 01:00:19,992
They say he'll be shitting sideways
for a month.
823
01:00:20,163 --> 01:00:22,998
Now I know
what schadenfreude feels like.
824
01:00:23,166 --> 01:00:25,040
- What?
- Schadenfreude.
825
01:00:25,210 --> 01:00:28,958
It's German for when you feel good
because your enemy's anus is violated.
826
01:00:29,130 --> 01:00:31,087
Oh.
827
01:00:35,178 --> 01:00:36,969
You know you're getting that on me.
828
01:00:40,975 --> 01:00:43,893
I'm doing great.
You guys are pussies.
829
01:00:44,062 --> 01:00:48,522
That's terrific. Hey, listen, pal.
I need your help.
830
01:00:48,691 --> 01:00:51,941
I can't get Mindy's lawyer
to return my call.
831
01:00:52,111 --> 01:00:54,519
If we wanna go through
with this divorce,
832
01:00:54,697 --> 01:00:58,066
you're going to have
to contact her personally.
833
01:00:58,993 --> 01:01:00,274
Stan.
834
01:01:00,453 --> 01:01:02,113
Yeah. I'll get right on that.
835
01:01:02,288 --> 01:01:05,704
How's the appeal coming?
836
01:01:05,875 --> 01:01:10,833
Believe it or not, I'm looking
at the Madam Foreman right now.
837
01:01:11,005 --> 01:01:12,797
That's great.
838
01:01:12,966 --> 01:01:18,387
I gotta go now.
You know, duty calls.
839
01:01:18,555 --> 01:01:20,843
All right. Thanks, Lew.
I'll talk to you soon.
840
01:01:29,691 --> 01:01:33,060
Ain't you Charlize Theron?
841
01:01:34,571 --> 01:01:37,655
Oh, look what fell out there.
842
01:01:43,913 --> 01:01:47,448
So I had them
exchange the beef for horse meat.
843
01:01:47,625 --> 01:01:50,662
- Clever.
- That's Stan.
844
01:01:50,837 --> 01:01:53,244
Minton, I'd like for you
to meet Mr Dang.
845
01:01:53,423 --> 01:01:55,462
He's on the prison's board of governors.
846
01:01:55,633 --> 01:01:59,678
They let Vietnamese mafia on
the prison board of governors?
847
01:02:01,472 --> 01:02:02,635
Your finger tats.
848
01:02:04,017 --> 01:02:09,640
Like you say, Stan,
the system is corrupt.
849
01:02:09,814 --> 01:02:13,978
Mr Dang's family happens to be
my partners in Oaksburg Estates.
850
01:02:14,152 --> 01:02:16,904
Oh, good, 'cause I was just
going over the contracts.
851
01:02:17,071 --> 01:02:20,191
The language gets rather vague
on gross versus net liability.
852
01:02:20,366 --> 01:02:23,866
I'm sure it's unintentional, but that
could screw you in the long run.
853
01:02:24,037 --> 01:02:29,031
Could it? I'll have my lawyers
correct that immediately.
854
01:02:29,209 --> 01:02:32,660
I got an excellent lawyer for that.
He specialises in it. Lew Popper.
855
01:02:32,837 --> 01:02:36,289
Popper? I'll be sure to contact him.
856
01:02:36,466 --> 01:02:40,333
Come on, Dang,
let's check out the floor show.
857
01:02:46,100 --> 01:02:49,635
It looks like the savages
are ready for the inspection.
858
01:02:49,812 --> 01:02:54,521
Well, give me a few more weeks.
I'll even have 'em readier.
859
01:02:54,692 --> 01:02:56,650
I'm counting on that.
860
01:02:58,112 --> 01:03:00,319
Would you like a strawberry?
861
01:03:01,658 --> 01:03:04,861
- I grew them in my own garden.
- Thank you.
862
01:03:05,036 --> 01:03:07,527
Minton? Strawberry?
863
01:03:08,623 --> 01:03:09,738
No, I'm good.
864
01:03:15,630 --> 01:03:18,750
Maybe I picked 'em
a little too soon.
865
01:03:20,718 --> 01:03:22,676
I don't think that's it.
866
01:03:24,097 --> 01:03:26,670
People
are scared shitless of me.
867
01:03:26,850 --> 01:03:28,178
Very good, Stan.
868
01:03:28,351 --> 01:03:30,640
Is there anyone there
who can challenge you?
869
01:03:30,812 --> 01:03:33,517
Nah. I got it all under control.
870
01:03:33,690 --> 01:03:35,848
What's the matter, Stan?
871
01:03:36,025 --> 01:03:39,229
You sound... distant.
872
01:03:39,404 --> 01:03:41,112
I don't know. It's just...
873
01:03:41,281 --> 01:03:44,981
Don't you ever find yourself
feeling sorry for anybody?
874
01:03:45,159 --> 01:03:48,825
You might as well ask me
if I feel sorry for the maggots
875
01:03:48,997 --> 01:03:50,870
I grind into my morning coffee.
876
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:54,575
That's how I feel too.
Listen, I gotta go.
877
01:03:54,752 --> 01:03:57,623
Make me proud, Stan.
878
01:03:57,797 --> 01:04:00,466
Come on, baby!
Do it to me!
879
01:04:00,633 --> 01:04:02,959
- Oh, yeah!
- Are you using me?
880
01:04:03,136 --> 01:04:05,342
- No!
- Don't you love me?
881
01:04:05,513 --> 01:04:07,589
- Yeah!
- Show me!
882
01:04:14,814 --> 01:04:17,851
- Do you love me?
- Yeah. Hello. Hey!
883
01:04:18,026 --> 01:04:20,943
Excuse me. Excuse me. Yeah.
884
01:04:21,112 --> 01:04:23,947
Hi, Stan. Yeah.
I think I have good news.
885
01:04:24,115 --> 01:04:28,065
- Do you love me?
- Yeah. I think the... I think the...
886
01:04:28,244 --> 01:04:33,665
The Madam Foreman is just one orgasm
away from giving you your appeal.
887
01:04:33,833 --> 01:04:36,620
That's great, Lew.
And gross.
888
01:04:36,794 --> 01:04:38,834
Heard from Mindy or her attorney?
889
01:04:39,005 --> 01:04:41,081
Uh, no.
890
01:04:41,257 --> 01:04:45,089
But don't say I don't earn my money.
891
01:04:50,642 --> 01:04:54,474
Hi, fellas.
I don't believe I ordered Chinese.
892
01:04:58,024 --> 01:05:01,642
I guess I could go
for a little pot-sticker.
893
01:05:06,533 --> 01:05:08,324
Who are you writing to?
894
01:05:08,493 --> 01:05:10,818
No one special.
895
01:05:12,121 --> 01:05:15,455
You've been sitting there for a while
writing to no one special.
896
01:05:17,669 --> 01:05:22,710
You know, Stan, I've been here for a
long time. I can handle a lot of things.
897
01:05:22,882 --> 01:05:26,583
Like having to spend the rest
of my life in this shithole.
898
01:05:26,761 --> 01:05:30,011
But there's one thing I do regret.
899
01:05:30,181 --> 01:05:33,681
I could never make it work
with Miyoshi.
900
01:05:33,852 --> 01:05:39,854
Oh, she was the only person
who ever loved me for me.
901
01:05:41,818 --> 01:05:44,902
I was too pigheaded to realise it.
902
01:05:45,071 --> 01:05:50,410
I'd give anything
to change the way I behaved.
903
01:05:51,244 --> 01:05:53,035
How did you behave?
904
01:05:54,163 --> 01:05:55,326
I killed her.
905
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:58,328
Oh.
906
01:05:58,501 --> 01:06:03,329
Alcohol wasn't something that always
brought out the best in me, Stan.
907
01:06:23,484 --> 01:06:27,565
Dear Mindy, I've been
thinking a lot about you lately.
908
01:06:27,739 --> 01:06:29,530
About us.
909
01:06:29,699 --> 01:06:31,857
I realise now that you were right.
910
01:06:32,035 --> 01:06:35,404
I was pigheaded and selfish.
911
01:06:35,580 --> 01:06:39,163
Leaving me was probably
the best thing for you.
912
01:06:39,334 --> 01:06:41,326
And I'm truly sorry.
913
01:06:41,503 --> 01:06:44,207
I never should have hurt you.
914
01:06:44,380 --> 01:06:47,417
I know now why you wanted
to have a baby with me.
915
01:06:47,592 --> 01:06:49,881
It's just another way
for us to love each other
916
01:06:50,053 --> 01:06:52,804
even more deeply.
917
01:06:52,972 --> 01:06:56,507
I hope, someday,
you'll be able to forgive me.
918
01:06:56,684 --> 01:06:59,602
Love always, Stan.
919
01:07:05,026 --> 01:07:06,734
Hey, baby.
920
01:07:15,453 --> 01:07:19,451
Now, I know all of you want to get back
to your weightlifting and basketball
921
01:07:19,624 --> 01:07:23,075
and masturbating, so I'm gonna
try to keep this short. All right?
922
01:07:23,253 --> 01:07:28,757
I am throwing away all of these
violent video games and movies.
923
01:07:30,718 --> 01:07:33,174
Don't do that! No! Come on, man!
924
01:07:33,346 --> 01:07:36,881
From now on, I want you guys
watching more wholesome entertainment.
925
01:07:37,058 --> 01:07:40,557
And frankly, a lot of the rap music
you brothers listen to
926
01:07:40,728 --> 01:07:43,184
was too hateful towards women.
927
01:07:43,356 --> 01:07:46,440
What is up with that?
You like women, right?
928
01:07:46,609 --> 01:07:47,807
Yeah!
929
01:07:47,986 --> 01:07:49,729
Now, on the other hand,
930
01:07:49,904 --> 01:07:53,107
the Mexicans are onto something
with mariachi and salsa music.
931
01:07:57,036 --> 01:08:00,370
It's positive, easy to dance to
and you never get tired of it.
932
01:08:00,540 --> 01:08:03,410
- Shorts, give us a taste.
- Here we go.
933
01:08:39,037 --> 01:08:40,661
Holy shit.
934
01:08:42,832 --> 01:08:45,833
All right. All right, all right.
935
01:08:46,002 --> 01:08:49,537
That's Afro-Cuban. I asked
for mariachi. But you get the point.
936
01:08:49,714 --> 01:08:52,917
All right? Now, lastly,
and most importantly,
937
01:08:53,092 --> 01:08:56,010
from now on, there will
be no more rape at this prison.
938
01:08:56,179 --> 01:08:58,717
No, no!
939
01:08:58,890 --> 01:09:02,259
That's right.
Anyone who rapes another inmate
940
01:09:02,435 --> 01:09:05,306
- will have to answer to me.
- Boo!
941
01:09:05,480 --> 01:09:07,188
I will not be kind.
942
01:09:07,357 --> 01:09:10,227
- Excuse me, Big Stan.
- Yes, Juanito.
943
01:09:10,401 --> 01:09:12,857
Why you putting your nose
where it don't belong?
944
01:09:13,029 --> 01:09:15,271
My men are aggressive and hard.
945
01:09:15,448 --> 01:09:19,316
Sometimes they need a way to work off
that excess energy. What's it to you?
946
01:09:19,494 --> 01:09:22,495
- OK. Well, first off, good question.
- Thank you.
947
01:09:22,664 --> 01:09:26,875
What is it to me?
Well, frankly, I just don't like it.
948
01:09:27,043 --> 01:09:30,910
And let me show you why.
Robbie, come up here.
949
01:09:31,089 --> 01:09:32,963
You, Robbie the hippie.
Come up here.
950
01:09:37,846 --> 01:09:41,760
All right, all right. Robbie, how long
is your sentence here at Oaksburg?
951
01:09:41,933 --> 01:09:45,847
- Five to ten.
- Five to ten years.
952
01:09:46,020 --> 01:09:48,891
What exactly did you do
to earn that sentence?
953
01:09:49,065 --> 01:09:52,564
I sold marijuana.
954
01:09:52,735 --> 01:09:56,401
A shitload of marijuana.
955
01:09:58,616 --> 01:10:00,775
Thanks, Robbie. Go sit down.
956
01:10:00,952 --> 01:10:04,487
He sold marijuana.
He was a marijuana dealer.
957
01:10:04,664 --> 01:10:08,578
I'm not here to argue about drug policy.
I don't think they're tough enough.
958
01:10:08,751 --> 01:10:12,452
Whatever.
959
01:10:12,630 --> 01:10:15,999
But just because Robbie was guilty
of selling dope
960
01:10:16,176 --> 01:10:21,170
doesn't mean he deserves to get raped
up the ass every day for ten years.
961
01:10:21,347 --> 01:10:23,589
I just don't think that's fair.
962
01:10:23,766 --> 01:10:26,803
Some of you are here
963
01:10:26,978 --> 01:10:32,933
because you're habitual drunk drivers.
Some of you have a fondness for crack.
964
01:10:33,109 --> 01:10:36,276
Some of you robbed a bank.
965
01:10:36,446 --> 01:10:40,111
I'm talking to you, Lee Otis.
966
01:10:42,452 --> 01:10:46,284
But that doesn't mean you should
get raped. It's just not fair.
967
01:10:47,957 --> 01:10:51,457
- Yes, Carnahan.
- What about guys convicted of rape?
968
01:10:51,628 --> 01:10:54,961
- Can we rape them?
- Yeah!
969
01:10:55,131 --> 01:10:57,207
Rape the rapists.
Seems appropriate.
970
01:10:57,383 --> 01:10:59,921
Punishment fitting the crime and all.
Go ahead.
971
01:11:00,094 --> 01:11:02,965
That's what I'm talkin' about.
972
01:11:03,139 --> 01:11:07,718
- How about them child molesters?
- Yeah!
973
01:11:07,894 --> 01:11:10,266
Yeah, them too. Good point.
Anyone else?
974
01:11:15,610 --> 01:11:16,808
Big Stan!
975
01:11:16,986 --> 01:11:21,316
- What about the counterfeiters?
- What?
976
01:11:21,491 --> 01:11:25,820
Counterfeiters? Big Raymond,
you're the only counterfeiter here.
977
01:11:25,995 --> 01:11:28,830
Yeah!
978
01:11:28,998 --> 01:11:32,165
Wait a minute.
Do you just want somebody to...
979
01:11:32,335 --> 01:11:34,707
Aw!
980
01:11:34,879 --> 01:11:37,038
OK, here's another thing
we gotta clear up.
981
01:11:37,215 --> 01:11:40,335
There's a difference
between homosexual sex and rape.
982
01:11:40,510 --> 01:11:44,093
- Now, Big Raymond.
- Hm?
983
01:11:44,264 --> 01:11:47,099
There's someone here
who wants to have sex with you.
984
01:11:47,267 --> 01:11:49,758
- Not me!
- OK? How about it, anyone?
985
01:11:51,771 --> 01:11:54,855
Yeah. Yeah.
986
01:11:59,279 --> 01:12:01,188
Tyler!
987
01:12:01,364 --> 01:12:05,907
- Great!
- Man!
988
01:12:15,420 --> 01:12:18,540
You two have fun.
But wear protection.
989
01:12:18,715 --> 01:12:20,707
OK.
990
01:12:20,884 --> 01:12:25,592
All right, grow up. Look, if you've got
a problem with that, then that's...
991
01:12:29,517 --> 01:12:30,976
Nurse!
992
01:12:37,275 --> 01:12:41,142
Now, those two are about to have
consensual homosexual sex.
993
01:12:41,321 --> 01:12:44,322
A beautiful, beautiful thing.
The total opposite of rape,
994
01:12:44,490 --> 01:12:47,694
- which is not allowed.
- Except for rapists and molesters?
995
01:12:47,869 --> 01:12:50,075
- We can still rape them.
- No, you can't.
996
01:12:50,246 --> 01:12:53,662
- What?
- I changed my mind.
997
01:12:53,833 --> 01:12:55,411
Bad habit. Quit cold turkey.
998
01:12:55,585 --> 01:12:59,001
If you're not happy with it,
999
01:12:59,172 --> 01:13:02,920
you're welcome to fight me.
1000
01:13:03,843 --> 01:13:06,417
I didn't think so.
All right, you're dismissed.
1001
01:13:06,596 --> 01:13:08,802
Beat it.
1002
01:13:10,225 --> 01:13:12,716
- Good speech.
- You think?
1003
01:13:12,894 --> 01:13:15,811
- I should have opened with a joke.
- No, it was good.
1004
01:13:15,980 --> 01:13:19,266
- Yeah?
- Yeah. Sorry about the mariachi.
1005
01:13:19,442 --> 01:13:20,640
Let it go.
1006
01:13:22,654 --> 01:13:27,066
Hey, Big Stan.
Check out the lovebirds.
1007
01:13:29,661 --> 01:13:32,578
One for you!
1008
01:13:32,747 --> 01:13:35,665
Mm! One for you.
1009
01:13:36,835 --> 01:13:38,033
Good for them.
1010
01:13:39,671 --> 01:13:41,912
I have something important to show you.
1011
01:13:42,090 --> 01:13:43,252
Let me eat, will you?
1012
01:13:43,424 --> 01:13:44,669
Hey, Big Stan.
1013
01:13:46,719 --> 01:13:50,135
- Can we talk?
- Make it quick.
1014
01:13:50,306 --> 01:13:52,513
I wanna thank you
for what you did out there.
1015
01:13:52,684 --> 01:13:56,053
- I didn't do anything...
- Don't say you didn't do it for me.
1016
01:13:56,229 --> 01:13:59,396
Because you did, didn't you?
1017
01:14:00,733 --> 01:14:03,937
- A little.
- Well, thanks.
1018
01:14:04,112 --> 01:14:07,528
- Yeah. Thanks, man.
- Julio!
1019
01:14:07,699 --> 01:14:10,403
Get back here!
What's up with you?
1020
01:14:10,577 --> 01:14:11,691
Shut up!
1021
01:14:14,873 --> 01:14:17,957
Hey, Big Stan.
I like what you said.
1022
01:14:18,126 --> 01:14:19,537
I wanna join your gang.
1023
01:14:21,546 --> 01:14:25,246
- I don't have a gang.
- Yes, you do.
1024
01:14:29,679 --> 01:14:30,877
OK, you're in.
1025
01:14:33,308 --> 01:14:36,926
Me too?
1026
01:14:41,941 --> 01:14:46,437
Yeah, you too.
1027
01:14:49,157 --> 01:14:52,027
- All of you.
- Thanks.
1028
01:14:53,286 --> 01:14:56,619
Yeah! Ow!
1029
01:14:56,789 --> 01:14:59,197
All right, can I eat now?
1030
01:15:01,794 --> 01:15:04,998
- Yes, you did!
- He's gotta eat.
1031
01:15:08,801 --> 01:15:11,471
I told you I had something important
to show you.
1032
01:15:17,810 --> 01:15:18,925
From Mindy.
1033
01:15:28,154 --> 01:15:29,565
She wants to see me.
1034
01:15:37,163 --> 01:15:38,907
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
1035
01:15:53,263 --> 01:15:54,757
Shake hands.
1036
01:15:58,268 --> 01:16:00,344
Try to get along, huh?
1037
01:16:08,611 --> 01:16:10,070
Thanks.
1038
01:16:22,417 --> 01:16:25,537
- Excuse me, man.
- No, that was my bad.
1039
01:16:25,712 --> 01:16:28,333
No, really. It was my fault.
1040
01:16:28,506 --> 01:16:31,673
There's a pickup game of hoops later,
if you wanna play.
1041
01:16:31,843 --> 01:16:32,922
I'd like that.
1042
01:17:13,843 --> 01:17:17,508
- Happy birthday.
- Ah! Thank you!
1043
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:20,432
- Oh, look, a shiv!
- Yeah!
1044
01:17:20,600 --> 01:17:22,094
- Hey, homes.
- Mm! Mm!
1045
01:17:22,268 --> 01:17:24,759
- Hey.
- Hey!
1046
01:17:56,010 --> 01:17:58,133
Stanley! Honey bear!
1047
01:17:58,304 --> 01:18:00,593
I loved your letter!
1048
01:18:00,765 --> 01:18:03,600
I missed you so much.
1049
01:18:03,768 --> 01:18:07,813
Before we go any further, there's
three little words I need to hear.
1050
01:18:07,981 --> 01:18:10,935
- I was wrong?
- Good boy!
1051
01:18:13,862 --> 01:18:16,862
It looks like
a nursery school picnic out there.
1052
01:18:17,031 --> 01:18:18,574
It's Minton.
1053
01:18:19,784 --> 01:18:23,996
- What do you mean, it's Minton?
- Well, first he banned rape.
1054
01:18:24,163 --> 01:18:26,452
It's to the point
that anybody gets beat up,
1055
01:18:26,624 --> 01:18:29,874
they run and join Minton's gang
and Minton beats up the bad guy.
1056
01:18:30,044 --> 01:18:33,248
The truth, he's got them too scared
to look at each other funny.
1057
01:18:33,423 --> 01:18:37,171
- We ain't had a fight in three days.
- I thought I saw Ingleberg fight
1058
01:18:37,343 --> 01:18:40,463
that big Mexican yesterday, Jesus.
1059
01:18:40,638 --> 01:18:44,422
Oh, no, that was more in the nature
of a lovers' quarrel.
1060
01:18:44,601 --> 01:18:47,008
Ingleberg forgot their
two-week anniversary.
1061
01:18:47,187 --> 01:18:49,891
That wasn't very nice of him, was it?
1062
01:18:50,064 --> 01:18:54,145
Well, they made up. You should
have seen the cake Ingleberg made.
1063
01:18:54,319 --> 01:18:56,810
- It was special...
- You get out of here right now
1064
01:18:56,988 --> 01:19:00,606
and get Minton up here!
You understand me? I mean right now!
1065
01:19:00,783 --> 01:19:03,950
Now hurry!
1066
01:19:05,580 --> 01:19:09,447
I'm not just saying this, but I think
that was the most amazing sex
1067
01:19:09,626 --> 01:19:12,377
we've ever had.
1068
01:19:12,545 --> 01:19:15,297
I guess being away from me
this long made you crazy.
1069
01:19:15,465 --> 01:19:19,593
Well, yes, I guess.
The Master's opened my eyes, sexually.
1070
01:19:19,761 --> 01:19:23,130
He showed me all these different
positions in the Kama Sutra.
1071
01:19:23,306 --> 01:19:26,757
- The Master? You been seeing him?
- Yeah, he's staying at the house.
1072
01:19:26,935 --> 01:19:30,054
I've learned about massage
and strengthening my Kegels.
1073
01:19:30,230 --> 01:19:33,396
That sleazy son of a bitch!
1074
01:19:33,566 --> 01:19:35,891
- Minton, time's up.
- But Stan, I...
1075
01:19:36,069 --> 01:19:39,936
- Warden wants to see you now!
- Wait. I don't want you to see him.
1076
01:19:40,114 --> 01:19:44,527
You tell Master Dickface I'm gonna get
out of here soon and kick his ass!
1077
01:19:44,702 --> 01:19:47,075
Don't tell him.
You're not allowed to see him.
1078
01:19:47,247 --> 01:19:49,370
I said now, convict!
1079
01:19:49,541 --> 01:19:51,248
- Minton!
- Not allowed to see him!
1080
01:19:51,417 --> 01:19:53,624
- I love you, sweetie-cakes!
- Let's go.
1081
01:19:53,795 --> 01:19:55,419
Cocksucker!
1082
01:20:04,931 --> 01:20:07,636
I'll bet you didn't know
I was part psychic.
1083
01:20:09,686 --> 01:20:14,146
That's right.
I'm able to see into the future.
1084
01:20:15,775 --> 01:20:18,859
- I didn't realise.
- Let me tell you what's going to happen
1085
01:20:19,028 --> 01:20:21,270
one week from today.
1086
01:20:24,200 --> 01:20:27,534
The board of governors
is gonna come to inspect the prison.
1087
01:20:27,704 --> 01:20:31,832
And something awful happens.
1088
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:36,412
Some prisoners find a way
to smuggle weapons into the yard.
1089
01:20:36,588 --> 01:20:39,209
And a full-scale riot breaks out.
1090
01:20:39,382 --> 01:20:43,546
And as the prison board watches
in absolute horror,
1091
01:20:43,720 --> 01:20:47,848
my men are forced to shoot
into the yard in order
1092
01:20:48,016 --> 01:20:51,017
to end the melee.
1093
01:20:51,186 --> 01:20:56,262
In the ensuing scandal,
the Board chooses to sell the property
1094
01:20:56,441 --> 01:20:59,857
to a Vietnamese family
1095
01:21:00,028 --> 01:21:02,779
based in San Pedro.
1096
01:21:02,947 --> 01:21:06,233
And everybody lives happily ever after.
1097
01:21:07,327 --> 01:21:08,987
Especially me.
1098
01:21:09,162 --> 01:21:13,456
Now, if the events that I foretold
1099
01:21:13,625 --> 01:21:16,080
do not come to fruition...
1100
01:21:17,837 --> 01:21:21,123
...I will be very disappointed.
1101
01:21:28,598 --> 01:21:30,674
And when I get disappointed,
1102
01:21:30,850 --> 01:21:33,057
Mr Deng over there
1103
01:21:33,228 --> 01:21:37,973
likes to stomp on men's spines
like they was bubble wrap.
1104
01:21:51,913 --> 01:21:56,491
I spent 35 years of my life
1105
01:21:56,668 --> 01:22:00,202
in this stinking cesspool.
1106
01:22:00,380 --> 01:22:04,958
And I will not walk away
without something to show for it.
1107
01:22:06,261 --> 01:22:09,297
Your little prison reform
ends right now.
1108
01:22:10,265 --> 01:22:14,558
You play ball,
you might get yourself a parole hearing.
1109
01:22:14,727 --> 01:22:17,432
How many will get killed?
1110
01:22:17,605 --> 01:22:22,600
Who cares? They're all animals.
1111
01:22:24,737 --> 01:22:26,148
Bullard!
1112
01:22:28,491 --> 01:22:32,987
- Escort Mr Minton back to his cell.
- Yes, sir. Come on, Minton.
1113
01:22:38,626 --> 01:22:41,876
Stan, you ever have two Asian men
pounding your balls
1114
01:22:42,046 --> 01:22:44,917
after sex with a questionably
attractive older woman?
1115
01:22:45,091 --> 01:22:47,416
No, I can't say I have, Lew.
1116
01:22:47,594 --> 01:22:51,461
Madam Foreman won't return
any of my calls.
1117
01:22:51,639 --> 01:22:54,759
You better go for that deal
the warden offered you.
1118
01:22:54,934 --> 01:22:59,727
- So there's nothing else I can do?
- I'm sorry, pal. It's over.
1119
01:22:59,898 --> 01:23:02,186
You're in real danger.
1120
01:23:02,358 --> 01:23:05,110
Get yourself out of there
as soon as you can.
1121
01:23:33,014 --> 01:23:34,722
Bullard.
1122
01:23:36,100 --> 01:23:37,927
Tell the warden I'll take his deal.
1123
01:23:39,479 --> 01:23:41,056
I want out of here.
1124
01:23:48,863 --> 01:23:52,528
Hey, Stan. The Nazis were saying
the Virgin Mary tortilla's a fake.
1125
01:23:52,700 --> 01:23:55,701
- That's not cool, homes.
- Hey, the Nazis were saying
1126
01:23:55,870 --> 01:23:57,530
the Virgin Mary has no power.
1127
01:23:57,705 --> 01:24:00,825
Constantine was pacifying
the Byzantine priest by giving him
1128
01:24:01,000 --> 01:24:04,701
a goddess to pray to. They've been
watching the History Channel.
1129
01:24:04,879 --> 01:24:08,165
- What?
- What are you gonna do about it?
1130
01:24:08,341 --> 01:24:11,093
I'm not gonna do anything about it.
1131
01:24:13,513 --> 01:24:14,841
What's up with him, man?
1132
01:24:15,014 --> 01:24:18,015
Hey, Stan. Stan!
1133
01:24:18,601 --> 01:24:22,136
The Brazilians won't
stop calling Farib an Arab.
1134
01:24:22,313 --> 01:24:25,184
I'm not an Arab! I'm Persian.
1135
01:24:25,358 --> 01:24:28,561
What do I care?
You look like an Arab.
1136
01:24:29,612 --> 01:24:32,364
Hey, listen up! All of you!
1137
01:24:33,950 --> 01:24:36,986
You're all on your own!
You hear me?
1138
01:24:37,161 --> 01:24:39,653
I don't care what any of you
do to each other!
1139
01:24:39,831 --> 01:24:42,404
Hey, you guys!
1140
01:24:43,877 --> 01:24:45,501
An interracial book club.
1141
01:24:47,505 --> 01:24:50,708
You guys all hate each other.
So stop pretending you don't.
1142
01:24:50,884 --> 01:24:54,549
- You don't know about Macbeth.
- Fuck you, motherfucker!
1143
01:25:17,160 --> 01:25:20,529
Yeah, that's more like it. Yes, sir.
1144
01:25:38,097 --> 01:25:39,508
Big Stan?
1145
01:25:42,018 --> 01:25:43,560
We need to talk.
1146
01:26:00,537 --> 01:26:02,244
I thought you cared about us.
1147
01:26:04,582 --> 01:26:05,958
Well, I don't.
1148
01:26:13,466 --> 01:26:16,004
Hey, little cracker.
1149
01:26:17,554 --> 01:26:21,338
Why don't you sit over here,
my little white brother.
1150
01:26:35,572 --> 01:26:37,363
Here, have mine.
1151
01:26:38,366 --> 01:26:40,572
I'm gonna need to shave your head.
1152
01:26:40,743 --> 01:26:44,409
Put a couple little tattoos
on your forehead, huh?
1153
01:26:45,415 --> 01:26:46,826
Come on, eat up.
1154
01:26:50,712 --> 01:26:53,000
I was wrong about you.
1155
01:26:53,173 --> 01:26:55,082
We all were.
1156
01:26:56,759 --> 01:27:00,175
Stay out of the yard tomorrow.
You hear me?
1157
01:27:06,895 --> 01:27:10,727
D- block houses some
of our most hardened offenders.
1158
01:27:10,899 --> 01:27:15,525
But here, we have Oaksburg's
greatest rehabilitation story.
1159
01:27:15,695 --> 01:27:20,357
Stan Minton. Stan, I'd like for you
to meet the board of governors.
1160
01:27:21,743 --> 01:27:24,364
Not going in the yard today, Stan?
1161
01:27:24,537 --> 01:27:27,823
- I don't feel well, warden.
- Maybe this will make you feel better.
1162
01:27:27,999 --> 01:27:31,913
Due to Stan's exemplary behaviour,
the parole board has agreed
1163
01:27:32,086 --> 01:27:34,494
to meet with him today.
1164
01:27:35,256 --> 01:27:37,830
Well, we better be moving along.
1165
01:27:43,306 --> 01:27:46,390
The shit goes down at 12.30.
1166
01:27:46,559 --> 01:27:50,937
At 12.35,
I'm in the real estate business.
1167
01:28:23,930 --> 01:28:26,088
Stan! Honey!
1168
01:28:29,561 --> 01:28:31,518
- I'll deal with you in a minute.
- Everything OK?
1169
01:28:31,688 --> 01:28:33,182
Both of you.
1170
01:28:37,569 --> 01:28:40,523
Next up is prisoner 5824.
1171
01:28:41,239 --> 01:28:43,991
In the matter of Stanley Minton.
You have your files.
1172
01:28:47,662 --> 01:28:51,612
In his time here, Minton
has accrued an exemplary record.
1173
01:28:51,791 --> 01:28:55,290
And let it be noted,
he's a first-time non-violent offender.
1174
01:29:01,301 --> 01:29:03,708
Hold up!
1175
01:29:03,887 --> 01:29:07,137
Before we vote, Mr Minton, is there
anything you'd like to add?
1176
01:29:07,307 --> 01:29:10,557
I'd just like to say, um...
1177
01:29:10,727 --> 01:29:12,850
...I've really learned a lot.
1178
01:29:13,021 --> 01:29:15,476
And I'm ready to get back to work.
1179
01:29:17,150 --> 01:29:19,308
Good, we like to hear that.
1180
01:29:20,653 --> 01:29:23,903
Here's the yard where the prisoners
come to exercise.
1181
01:29:24,073 --> 01:29:27,656
That's where Charlie the Fly
tried to fly over the wall.
1182
01:29:27,827 --> 01:29:31,113
Well, in light of Warden Gasque's
recommendation,
1183
01:29:31,289 --> 01:29:34,788
I think we have a pretty
clear-cut case for parole.
1184
01:29:37,378 --> 01:29:39,667
Mr Minton?
1185
01:29:42,175 --> 01:29:45,425
How would you feel
about getting out of here today?
1186
01:29:49,724 --> 01:29:51,384
Mr Minton?
1187
01:29:55,563 --> 01:29:57,307
Did I mention I'm in real estate?
1188
01:29:58,525 --> 01:30:02,107
I got my eye on some property
real close by here
1189
01:30:02,278 --> 01:30:06,490
- I can't wait to develop.
- Hm. That's commendable.
1190
01:30:06,658 --> 01:30:10,276
You know, while I was in here,
also, I joined a biker gang.
1191
01:30:10,453 --> 01:30:13,288
Satan's Paedophiles.
1192
01:30:13,456 --> 01:30:15,532
Anyway, they said when I get out,
1193
01:30:15,708 --> 01:30:18,662
they'd love to camp next
to the grammar school near here.
1194
01:30:18,837 --> 01:30:20,247
I hope that's not a problem.
1195
01:30:20,421 --> 01:30:24,918
They're pretty cool guys, except
when they drink and do crystal meth.
1196
01:30:25,093 --> 01:30:26,670
Which is almost every weekend.
1197
01:30:26,845 --> 01:30:31,637
But most of the people I sell to,
they don't need to know about that.
1198
01:30:31,808 --> 01:30:35,936
'Cause, uh, they're old ladies, mostly.
Not too good with fine print,
1199
01:30:36,104 --> 01:30:37,218
if you get my drift.
1200
01:30:38,898 --> 01:30:42,647
Tell me, is your grandma still alive?
I bet I could make her a sweet deal.
1201
01:30:42,819 --> 01:30:44,895
By the time I'm through with her,
1202
01:30:45,071 --> 01:30:49,863
she'll give hand jobs behind the pharmacy
to pay for arthritis medication.
1203
01:30:51,661 --> 01:30:54,697
Two at a time, you know?
Stuff you see in pornos.
1204
01:30:56,833 --> 01:31:00,878
Anyway, that's a nice top you have on.
Seriously.
1205
01:31:01,045 --> 01:31:03,750
Mind lowering it?
I'd love to see some boobage.
1206
01:31:04,966 --> 01:31:07,967
Let me see that, woman. That's sexy.
Let me see that.
1207
01:31:08,136 --> 01:31:11,421
Let me touch one of them.
Let me touch one of them. Can I? Please?
1208
01:31:11,598 --> 01:31:14,219
Parole denied!
Take him back to his cell!
1209
01:31:14,392 --> 01:31:18,224
What colour are your nipples?
I bet they're pink! Light brown?
1210
01:31:18,396 --> 01:31:19,890
Dollar size or quarter?
1211
01:31:22,567 --> 01:31:24,939
Stan, did we win?
1212
01:31:25,111 --> 01:31:26,938
Let go of me. I'm in a hurry.
1213
01:31:27,113 --> 01:31:28,488
Have no fear, Stanley.
1214
01:31:28,656 --> 01:31:32,357
I will continue to take care
of your wife while you're gone.
1215
01:31:32,535 --> 01:31:35,157
- Thanks a lot, pal.
- No thanks needed.
1216
01:31:35,330 --> 01:31:38,117
I cherish Mindy's company.
1217
01:31:38,291 --> 01:31:42,205
Since my addiction to cigarettes
made me impotent,
1218
01:31:42,378 --> 01:31:45,415
I've had very little contact
with the fair sex.
1219
01:31:46,382 --> 01:31:47,793
Impotent?
1220
01:31:47,967 --> 01:31:50,209
I used to think smoking was cool,
1221
01:31:50,386 --> 01:31:56,140
but a limp dick spells nerd
in any language.
1222
01:31:56,309 --> 01:31:59,345
- You're impotent. That's great!
- Not really.
1223
01:32:00,230 --> 01:32:02,803
Baby, I love you.
I'll write to you as soon as I can.
1224
01:32:02,982 --> 01:32:04,774
OK.
1225
01:32:07,987 --> 01:32:10,110
That's my boy.
1226
01:32:10,782 --> 01:32:12,241
Love you, baby!
1227
01:32:13,618 --> 01:32:16,323
- He's running!
- Code red!
1228
01:32:16,496 --> 01:32:18,868
Watch the prisoners file in.
1229
01:32:54,033 --> 01:32:55,907
The Master has taught you well.
1230
01:32:56,077 --> 01:32:59,612
Don't tell me.
You studied with The Master too?
1231
01:32:59,789 --> 01:33:04,498
- I am his number one.
- I didn't see that coming.
1232
01:33:04,669 --> 01:33:07,623
There are many things
you will not see coming.
1233
01:33:07,797 --> 01:33:10,371
Oh, really? Like what?
1234
01:33:19,893 --> 01:33:20,972
Hmm.
1235
01:33:25,106 --> 01:33:29,982
- Whoa. Take it easy.
- I have been taking it easy.
1236
01:33:38,369 --> 01:33:40,943
I wanna break me off
some chocolate.
1237
01:33:41,122 --> 01:33:42,996
Come on, hold the line.
1238
01:33:44,918 --> 01:33:47,753
- Top you up here?
- Thank you very much.
1239
01:33:48,588 --> 01:33:50,746
How are you doing?
1240
01:33:50,924 --> 01:33:51,955
Yeah, good.
1241
01:34:07,315 --> 01:34:11,941
I don't think The Master
prepares you for this.
1242
01:34:17,033 --> 01:34:19,524
Here comes the eagle.
1243
01:34:51,192 --> 01:34:52,936
Are those weapons?
1244
01:35:00,869 --> 01:35:02,660
Hoo, hoo, hoo!
1245
01:35:03,830 --> 01:35:05,538
Ah!
1246
01:35:09,502 --> 01:35:12,373
Somebody didn't strengthen
their titties.
1247
01:35:15,049 --> 01:35:16,460
Whoo!
1248
01:35:23,099 --> 01:35:24,677
It looks like a riot.
1249
01:35:47,874 --> 01:35:49,701
Whoo!
1250
01:35:53,171 --> 01:35:55,626
- I celebrated too early!
- Ah!
1251
01:36:08,144 --> 01:36:10,979
Warden, can't you do anything
to stop this?
1252
01:36:11,147 --> 01:36:15,311
Bullard, prepare to fire.
1253
01:36:46,558 --> 01:36:48,016
Whoo!
1254
01:36:48,184 --> 01:36:50,889
Whoo! Whoo!
1255
01:36:54,315 --> 01:36:55,596
Whoo!
1256
01:36:56,484 --> 01:36:58,062
Finger of death.
1257
01:37:05,285 --> 01:37:06,695
That's you.
1258
01:37:12,750 --> 01:37:16,001
I don't know if The Master
prepared you for this.
1259
01:37:22,343 --> 01:37:24,087
Hoo!
1260
01:37:29,684 --> 01:37:33,267
- Ready to dance, motherfuckers?
- Handle your shit, bitch!
1261
01:37:33,438 --> 01:37:34,636
Fire at will.
1262
01:37:36,524 --> 01:37:37,687
Don't fight!
1263
01:38:30,203 --> 01:38:31,578
Why aren't you firing?
1264
01:38:39,712 --> 01:38:42,832
- Fire that weapon.
- I can't do it, boss.
1265
01:38:45,385 --> 01:38:47,543
Well, why the hell not?
1266
01:38:47,720 --> 01:38:50,211
They're just dancing.
1267
01:38:59,607 --> 01:39:01,600
Give me that rifle.
1268
01:39:07,240 --> 01:39:08,864
What the hell are you doing?
1269
01:39:09,993 --> 01:39:11,487
Restoring order.
1270
01:39:12,662 --> 01:39:15,200
They've clearly lost their minds.
1271
01:39:15,373 --> 01:39:17,200
Warden, it's over.
1272
01:39:19,586 --> 01:39:21,210
Look at all these witnesses.
1273
01:39:21,379 --> 01:39:23,751
It's over, warden.
1274
01:39:28,052 --> 01:39:29,879
You did this to me.
1275
01:39:47,530 --> 01:39:50,531
- Where did that come from?
- What do you think I've been doing
1276
01:39:50,700 --> 01:39:52,942
with The Master for the last six months?
1277
01:39:53,119 --> 01:39:55,076
Thank God.
1278
01:39:55,246 --> 01:39:56,990
You did good with Dang.
1279
01:39:57,165 --> 01:39:59,952
But you're still
my number two student.
1280
01:40:00,126 --> 01:40:03,744
- Number two?
- She'll kick your ass.
1281
01:40:06,257 --> 01:40:08,297
I might like that.
1282
01:40:09,928 --> 01:40:12,253
Ready position!
1283
01:40:12,430 --> 01:40:14,423
Focus!
1284
01:40:14,599 --> 01:40:16,342
Lock! Punch!
1285
01:40:16,518 --> 01:40:18,890
- Kick! Double punch!
- Yah!
1286
01:40:19,062 --> 01:40:21,813
Ready position!
1287
01:40:21,981 --> 01:40:23,938
Lock! Punch!
1288
01:40:24,108 --> 01:40:26,896
- Kick! Double punch!
- Yah!
1289
01:40:27,070 --> 01:40:29,739
- It's time, Minton.
- Just a minute, warden.
1290
01:40:29,906 --> 01:40:32,658
Looks great, guys.
Thanks, Robbie.
1291
01:40:32,825 --> 01:40:35,992
OK, everybody, I gotta go now.
1292
01:40:36,162 --> 01:40:40,076
I'll miss you too.
1293
01:40:40,250 --> 01:40:43,784
I want you guys to be especially nice
to our newest inmate
1294
01:40:43,962 --> 01:40:47,496
and best disbarred lawyer
in the world, Lew Popper.
1295
01:40:47,674 --> 01:40:50,509
- Welcome aboard!
- Lew!
1296
01:40:50,677 --> 01:40:55,006
- Is the ban on rape still in effect?
- I'm pretty sure.
1297
01:40:55,181 --> 01:40:57,470
Hey!
1298
01:40:57,642 --> 01:41:02,185
Permission to give Big Stan
a group hug.
1299
01:41:02,355 --> 01:41:04,348
- Permission granted.
- Come on, gang!
1300
01:41:12,448 --> 01:41:16,280
Hey, little homey,
thanks for giving me my teeth back.
1301
01:41:16,452 --> 01:41:19,868
My pleasure.
1302
01:41:24,669 --> 01:41:27,374
- Where you going, cracker?
- I'm going home, man.
1303
01:41:27,547 --> 01:41:31,414
- I think Big Stan is staying here.
- Oh, yeah?
1304
01:41:34,554 --> 01:41:35,669
Oh, shit!
1305
01:41:38,683 --> 01:41:41,388
I'm Big Stan.
No more rape.
1306
01:41:41,561 --> 01:41:43,388
Aw, very creepy.
1307
01:41:44,689 --> 01:41:45,768
My cracker.
1308
01:41:47,150 --> 01:41:48,430
Be good, huh?
1309
01:41:49,986 --> 01:41:52,144
Bye, Stan!
1310
01:41:52,947 --> 01:41:54,987
Hey. Hey.
1311
01:41:58,119 --> 01:41:59,150
Whoo!
1312
01:41:59,329 --> 01:42:02,863
- Big man.
- Bye, Big Stan.
1313
01:42:03,041 --> 01:42:04,618
Say bye.
1314
01:42:10,798 --> 01:42:11,878
Stan!
1315
01:42:14,427 --> 01:42:16,799
Sweetie.
1316
01:42:16,971 --> 01:42:18,928
Hey, handsome.
1317
01:42:19,098 --> 01:42:21,305
- Where's Mindy Junior?
- In the car.
1318
01:42:21,476 --> 01:42:24,560
- She's being kind of a brat.
- Isn't the nanny helping?
1319
01:42:24,729 --> 01:42:27,434
Yeah. I think he
still sneaks cigarettes.
1320
01:42:27,607 --> 01:42:30,312
Yeah? I'll talk to him.
1321
01:42:35,865 --> 01:42:38,617
Hi, precious. Hi, The Master.
1322
01:42:38,785 --> 01:42:41,406
- Say hello to your father, child.
- Hi.
1323
01:42:41,579 --> 01:42:44,948
- Rumour is you're sneaking smokes.
- Shh.
1324
01:42:45,792 --> 01:42:49,327
- How's her technique?
- She stinks.
1325
01:42:49,504 --> 01:42:51,247
But so did you at first.
1326
01:42:51,422 --> 01:42:54,293
You sure? I don't remember that.
1327
01:42:54,467 --> 01:42:56,341
- Stan!
- OK, baby.
1328
01:42:56,511 --> 01:42:58,385
Let's go, sweetie!
1329
01:43:04,423 --> 01:43:15,217
Subtitle By : Robin808
100245
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.