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1
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:31,131
Okay, let's
go, that's so loud
2
00:00:37,939 --> 00:00:41,910
Now this is how you make
a home-style jailhouse meal.
3
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,612
Look at this.
4
00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:07,535
♪ Come meet me in
the main room ♪
5
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,667
Is this the Neue Museum?
6
00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:09,136
This is the Alte Museum.
7
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:21,115
I don't speak really good
German like behind human.
8
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,753
There's a hallway of
columns adjacent to that.
9
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:26,854
Okay, thank you.
10
00:06:26,888 --> 00:06:27,855
Yeah, okay.
11
00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:29,056
Where are you from?
12
00:06:29,090 --> 00:06:31,125
I'm from Barcelona.
13
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,693
- Nice.
- Yeah, okay.
14
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:34,095
I went to Barcelona once.
15
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,596
Did you like it?
16
00:06:35,630 --> 00:06:36,731
A lot.
17
00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,833
You have a great
legacy of architecture.
18
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,768
Yeah, we have Gaudi,
it's really great,
19
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,469
it's nice.
20
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,005
Are you from Berlin?
21
00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:45,907
Yes, I am from Berlin.
22
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:47,775
What are you doing here?
23
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:50,378
I am studying
History in Eureka,
24
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,379
do you know it?
25
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,380
Yeah.
26
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,446
I'm like really new here,
27
00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,050
like I was a little bit lost.
28
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,320
Just my phone died
then I'm like,
29
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:01,055
like yeah, I don't
know so many people
30
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:04,392
and it's a little
bit complicated.
31
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,927
It's a big city.
32
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,395
Yeah.
33
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,096
My name is Paula.
34
00:07:09,130 --> 00:07:11,198
Joanna, nice to meet you.
35
00:07:11,232 --> 00:07:12,266
Thanks to you,
nice to meet you.
36
00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:19,540
Maybe you wanna have
a drink or something?
37
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,309
I would love to.
38
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,945
Your phone, it's broken now?
39
00:07:23,978 --> 00:07:25,579
- Yes.
- But you can call?
40
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,748
Like, you can give me your
number and I can call you?
41
00:07:27,782 --> 00:07:29,116
Yeah.
42
00:07:30,051 --> 00:07:33,220
You have to just put like
zero, zero in the beginning.
43
00:07:33,254 --> 00:07:34,221
Zero, zero.
44
00:07:34,255 --> 00:07:35,222
- Three, four
- Three.
45
00:07:35,256 --> 00:07:36,691
Yeah, like a code.
46
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:37,692
Okay.
47
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,093
Six, five.
48
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,796
Two, one, zero, four
49
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:42,930
Zero, four.
50
00:07:42,964 --> 00:07:44,398
Nine, zero, four.
51
00:07:44,432 --> 00:07:45,498
Nine, zero, four.
52
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,602
Okay. I hope to see you Paula.
53
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,971
Enjoy.
54
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,587
If I fall off I'll
fucking swim back,
55
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,422
well, I don't give a fuck.
56
00:09:48,456 --> 00:09:50,525
I'm not trying to kill myself.
57
00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,793
I thought this was
a pirate ship man,
58
00:09:52,827 --> 00:09:55,129
I thought this was a
fucking pirate ship.
59
00:16:15,510 --> 00:16:16,811
Six.
60
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:17,846
Six.
61
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,149
- Seven.
- Seven.
62
00:16:58,786 --> 00:17:03,725
Your feeling fallen so fast,
it's like, if it's all right.
63
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,093
Yeah.
64
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,062
It's like this
instant connection.
65
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,015
When I was like
five or six years old
66
00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,616
he pulled me out of the bathtub
67
00:17:28,650 --> 00:17:31,953
while I was taking a bath and
just slammed me on the ground.
68
00:17:33,387 --> 00:17:35,723
That's the first
beating I remember
69
00:17:35,757 --> 00:17:39,259
and you know stuff went
on like that for awhile.
70
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:41,495
I don't remember much
else from those years.
71
00:17:44,966 --> 00:17:47,167
That was my first big
of heartbreak in life,
72
00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:50,370
I was really confused and hurt.
73
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,107
After like two or
three fights like that,
74
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:57,612
I had stashed a knife, a kitchen
knife in my room somewhere,
75
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,982
I stashed it really good.
76
00:18:01,015 --> 00:18:03,483
And I was like,
thinking in my head,
77
00:18:03,518 --> 00:18:06,521
I have thoughts of actually
killing him in his sleep
78
00:18:06,554 --> 00:18:08,890
because I was so tired
of getting beat up on.
79
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,059
I just lost it one day,
80
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,492
he came in my room,
81
00:18:12,527 --> 00:18:15,663
he comes in with his fists
clenched, face turning red,
82
00:18:15,697 --> 00:18:17,397
vein popping out in his head
83
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:20,467
and I know from that, that
he's about to beat me up.
84
00:18:20,501 --> 00:18:23,504
But I said, this time
I'm gonna fight back.
85
00:18:23,538 --> 00:18:26,841
I said, I don't care if I win
or lose, just check it out.
86
00:18:26,874 --> 00:18:28,241
If I win, then that's great,
87
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,444
I would love to beat
the shit out of you.
88
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,013
I said, but you
know you're bigger,
89
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:33,447
you're stronger than me.
90
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,216
If you win, which you
probably will, I don't care.
91
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:39,053
I'll take an ass beating,
but I guarantee old man
92
00:18:39,087 --> 00:18:40,555
when it's all said and done,
93
00:18:40,588 --> 00:18:42,155
I don't know where,
I don't know when,
94
00:18:42,189 --> 00:18:43,625
but I will fucking kill you,
95
00:18:43,658 --> 00:18:46,561
'cause I'm sick of the
shit, I'll kill you.
96
00:18:46,594 --> 00:18:47,862
I told him that
and he backed away
97
00:18:47,895 --> 00:18:49,998
he never touched me again.
98
00:18:50,031 --> 00:18:52,667
And I was dead serious,
I wasn't fucking around.
99
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:56,571
And that's that?
100
00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:22,743
Stop.
101
00:22:22,777 --> 00:22:24,111
Come on it's fun.
102
00:22:25,412 --> 00:22:26,413
Come on.
103
00:22:29,183 --> 00:22:30,483
Stop that.
104
00:22:58,246 --> 00:22:59,580
What?
105
00:23:01,682 --> 00:23:03,751
Why you didn't text me.
106
00:23:05,953 --> 00:23:06,921
Text you?
107
00:23:06,954 --> 00:23:08,556
Oh, I'm sorry I was super busy,
108
00:23:08,589 --> 00:23:13,160
like, I had this idea
I was thinking on,
109
00:23:13,194 --> 00:23:16,396
since had the last days, I
had a plan for this project.
110
00:23:16,429 --> 00:23:19,867
it would be super nice
to make it like in a...
111
00:23:21,401 --> 00:23:23,971
So you know, it's
like, it's quite a...
112
00:23:24,005 --> 00:23:25,306
It's like, I don't really know
113
00:23:25,339 --> 00:23:28,009
what exactly it's going
to be about but...
114
00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:33,581
The other day, I was reading
about a work of Shepard Howard
115
00:23:33,614 --> 00:23:35,049
and I was thinking of-
116
00:23:35,082 --> 00:23:38,185
- Like, you're gonna do this
thing of this houseboat,
117
00:23:38,219 --> 00:23:39,954
it's like a shared community.
118
00:23:39,987 --> 00:23:42,290
Like my idea was kind
of like this but bigger
119
00:23:42,323 --> 00:23:47,328
and has a high sense
of architecture.
120
00:23:48,763 --> 00:23:50,631
I think it's super, it's
like, it's not a houseboat
121
00:23:50,665 --> 00:23:52,133
but it's like a shared community
122
00:23:52,166 --> 00:23:56,938
where generations can like
123
00:23:58,372 --> 00:23:59,340
English, its like you're
speaking all the fucking time
124
00:23:59,373 --> 00:24:00,875
and you don't let me speak.
125
00:24:02,777 --> 00:24:04,812
Now what's wrong with you?
126
00:24:04,845 --> 00:24:06,180
- No, nothing.
- What did you take?
127
00:24:06,213 --> 00:24:07,949
- Paula what did you take?
- I'm just excited.
128
00:24:07,982 --> 00:24:10,685
I didn't take any drugs,
I'm just excited, okay?
129
00:24:10,718 --> 00:24:13,688
Like I want to make this project
130
00:24:13,721 --> 00:24:15,957
and if you want to join,
it would be amazing,
131
00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:17,959
we can think it
together, better.
132
00:24:17,992 --> 00:24:20,995
And I know that there's this
kind of this houseboat...
133
00:24:21,028 --> 00:24:22,396
Stop touching me.
134
00:24:23,397 --> 00:24:24,732
Paula.
135
00:24:24,765 --> 00:24:26,267
- I'm concentrating.
- Stop and listen.
136
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:27,835
No, listen to me.
137
00:24:27,868 --> 00:24:28,836
I listen to you all the time.
138
00:24:28,869 --> 00:24:30,004
I'm concentrating.
139
00:24:30,037 --> 00:24:31,005
Really?
140
00:24:31,038 --> 00:24:32,106
Fuck Paula, what?
141
00:25:25,593 --> 00:25:28,095
Two nights ago,
Emily called me,
142
00:25:28,129 --> 00:25:31,332
I took a cab all the way
to her house at midnight.
143
00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:36,637
She smoked 20 cigarettes then
we talked for five minutes.
144
00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:40,307
And then I got into another cab
and went straight back home.
145
00:25:40,341 --> 00:25:42,109
Just to see her
for five minutes,
146
00:25:42,143 --> 00:25:44,412
just to bring her,
her fucking
147
00:25:44,445 --> 00:25:45,980
so she can feel better.
148
00:25:46,013 --> 00:25:49,083
Coz I love her and I don't
want to see her in pain.
149
00:27:07,495 --> 00:27:11,932
I know I should be looking
for 'em, my mom, my dad.
150
00:27:17,738 --> 00:27:21,075
I don't know what I even saw
in her in the first place man.
151
00:27:21,108 --> 00:27:22,343
I saw something different,
152
00:27:22,376 --> 00:27:24,845
and she didn't act like
this when we first met,
153
00:27:24,879 --> 00:27:28,449
no one acts like a piece of
shit when you first meet.
154
00:27:29,850 --> 00:27:32,554
If you acted like this yourself
as soon as you met somebody,
155
00:27:32,587 --> 00:27:34,288
you'd just scare them off.
156
00:29:18,259 --> 00:29:19,594
Fuck.
157
00:32:33,454 --> 00:32:34,589
She doesn't want
to talk to me,
158
00:32:34,622 --> 00:32:36,123
she doesn't want to see me.
159
00:32:37,257 --> 00:32:39,026
She doesn't talk
to me on the phone,
160
00:32:40,227 --> 00:32:42,196
I haven't seen her
in almost a month.
161
00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:45,098
We text each other a little bit,
162
00:32:46,033 --> 00:32:47,669
that's about it.
163
00:32:47,702 --> 00:32:49,036
Yeah, you're gonna text.
164
00:32:49,069 --> 00:32:51,305
I haven't even texted
her in a few days.
165
00:32:52,740 --> 00:32:53,808
I don't know I'm done,
166
00:32:55,275 --> 00:32:56,811
I'm done trying, if she
doesn't wanna be with me,
167
00:32:56,845 --> 00:32:58,780
she doesn't wanna be
with me, that's it.
168
00:32:58,813 --> 00:33:00,949
I wish she would just have the
guts to come out and say so
169
00:33:00,981 --> 00:33:03,116
instead of beating
around the bush.
170
00:33:04,619 --> 00:33:06,588
Look man, I don't wanna
sound like I know everything
171
00:33:06,621 --> 00:33:11,458
but I told you she's
not right for you.
172
00:33:12,459 --> 00:33:14,061
You gotta find somebody sober.
173
00:33:14,094 --> 00:33:15,429
It is what it is.
What am I gonna do?
174
00:33:15,462 --> 00:33:16,898
I can't force someone
to be in love with me,
175
00:33:16,931 --> 00:33:19,399
if she doesn't love me no more,
she doesn't want me no more.
176
00:33:19,433 --> 00:33:21,468
I'm not gonna fucking
cry about it either.
177
00:33:22,904 --> 00:33:24,238
You sure about that?
178
00:33:24,271 --> 00:33:25,239
I don't know.
179
00:33:25,272 --> 00:33:26,406
I'm like stuck in limbo,
180
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,342
I don't know what
the fuck's going on.
181
00:33:29,644 --> 00:33:32,145
I mean, I have to
guess that though,
182
00:33:32,179 --> 00:33:34,682
I mean, I'm pretty cynical,
so I always guess the worst,
183
00:33:34,716 --> 00:33:37,284
but pretty much have to assume
184
00:33:37,317 --> 00:33:39,152
that she doesn't
love me anymore.
185
00:33:39,186 --> 00:33:41,689
Why would someone not want
to see me for a month?
186
00:33:41,723 --> 00:33:43,758
If I love someone,
I want to see them.
187
00:33:43,791 --> 00:33:45,259
I understand like
she needs space,
188
00:33:45,292 --> 00:33:47,361
if she needs space,
she needs space.
189
00:33:47,394 --> 00:33:49,597
But Jesus Christ like
a whole month goes by
190
00:33:49,631 --> 00:33:50,999
and she doesn't even
wanna see me once?
191
00:33:51,031 --> 00:33:52,600
Not even for a few hours?
192
00:33:52,634 --> 00:33:53,601
That sucks, man.
193
00:33:53,635 --> 00:33:55,904
It really does.
194
00:33:56,470 --> 00:33:57,839
Maybe you should
concentrate on the people
195
00:33:57,872 --> 00:33:59,373
that give a shit about you
196
00:33:59,406 --> 00:34:01,275
instead of the ones who
would rather see you die.
197
00:34:02,710 --> 00:34:04,012
I'm like, look at you man,
198
00:34:04,846 --> 00:34:05,847
you look like shit.
199
00:34:07,414 --> 00:34:09,584
You just sit here and
talk about yourself.
200
00:34:10,752 --> 00:34:14,488
Can you blame her not
wanting to be with you?
201
00:34:14,522 --> 00:34:16,456
I mean, you don't think
she was right a little bit.
202
00:34:16,490 --> 00:34:17,825
She is.
203
00:34:18,292 --> 00:34:19,493
But at the same time though,
204
00:34:19,527 --> 00:34:21,328
I wouldn't leave her
if she was doing that.
205
00:34:22,496 --> 00:34:23,463
I don't know, maybe,
I don't know man,
206
00:34:23,497 --> 00:34:25,600
her standards are high.
207
00:34:25,633 --> 00:34:27,234
I can tell you right now that,
208
00:34:28,503 --> 00:34:29,469
whatever you wanna
do with this girl
209
00:34:29,504 --> 00:34:31,104
it's not gonna go nowhere.
210
00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:36,109
I'ma leave you to make
that decision on your own.
211
00:34:36,143 --> 00:34:38,345
I guess my standards
aren't as high.
212
00:34:38,378 --> 00:34:41,015
If I love someone, I love
them through thick and thin,
213
00:34:41,049 --> 00:34:43,216
whether they're
drinking, whatever.
214
00:34:44,251 --> 00:34:46,119
That's that
unconditional fixation.
215
00:34:47,220 --> 00:34:48,957
You like something,
216
00:34:48,990 --> 00:34:52,192
so you perceive whatever
you like on to somebody else
217
00:34:52,225 --> 00:34:54,796
and then you mistake it
for unconditional love
218
00:34:54,829 --> 00:34:56,898
but it's not, man.
219
00:34:56,931 --> 00:34:58,800
You gotta love yourself first,
220
00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:00,635
I can tell that you don't.
221
00:35:00,668 --> 00:35:01,869
I know.
222
00:35:01,903 --> 00:35:03,370
Look at you,
223
00:35:03,403 --> 00:35:04,872
you had so much potential
when we was growing up,
224
00:35:07,174 --> 00:35:08,610
now you're just rotting away.
225
00:35:10,344 --> 00:35:12,647
You need to get
back into boxing.
226
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,515
You act like you're the only
one that's ever felt bad,
227
00:35:14,549 --> 00:35:17,685
I mean, I went through my
struggles with my writing,
228
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,588
but I'm back on my feet.
229
00:35:20,622 --> 00:35:25,627
And to watch you just
destroy yourself sucks dude,
230
00:35:27,762 --> 00:35:31,799
I can't sit here and watch
you kill yourself, I can't.
231
00:35:38,706 --> 00:35:39,874
I'll talk to you later.
232
00:36:07,535 --> 00:36:11,639
Twice, I got fucking
jumped with baseball bats
233
00:36:11,673 --> 00:36:14,008
and I'm the one
who gets arrested
234
00:36:14,042 --> 00:36:15,475
and my attackers
don't get arrested,
235
00:36:15,510 --> 00:36:16,577
how the fuck is that?
236
00:36:18,178 --> 00:36:20,648
Now, let me tell you
about the NYPD, right?
237
00:36:20,682 --> 00:36:23,751
So they're supposed to
protect and serve us,
238
00:36:23,785 --> 00:36:25,119
they don't fucking do that.
239
00:36:26,486 --> 00:36:27,855
In the park, motherfuckers,
240
00:36:27,889 --> 00:36:30,858
there's the girl who
said I stole her tablet.
241
00:36:32,060 --> 00:36:33,761
And then the cops get
there, I get arrested.
242
00:36:33,795 --> 00:36:35,563
And I'm telling the
cops all the time,
243
00:36:35,596 --> 00:36:36,564
I don't have a tablet on me,
244
00:36:36,597 --> 00:36:38,132
what are you arresting me for?
245
00:36:38,166 --> 00:36:39,834
No, she said you stole
her tablet last night.
246
00:36:39,867 --> 00:36:41,035
Last night?
247
00:36:41,069 --> 00:36:42,670
Then why didn't she call
you guys last night?
248
00:36:42,704 --> 00:36:44,271
What are you worrying
about me for anyway
249
00:36:44,304 --> 00:36:46,574
when this fucking kid
stabbed my friend.
250
00:36:46,607 --> 00:36:48,109
There's someone laying
right across the street,
251
00:36:48,142 --> 00:36:49,844
is what it feels like right now.
252
00:36:49,877 --> 00:36:51,879
I'm like, but why don't
you go look at my friend?
253
00:36:51,913 --> 00:36:52,880
Oh, we'll look into it,
254
00:36:52,914 --> 00:36:54,481
they never looked into it.
255
00:36:54,515 --> 00:36:59,120
And then, like a few months
ago I get jumped again
256
00:36:59,153 --> 00:37:00,588
by people with bats
257
00:37:00,621 --> 00:37:04,058
and I get arrested again
because the window got broken.
258
00:37:04,092 --> 00:37:06,460
Like come on y'all, twice.
259
00:37:06,493 --> 00:37:09,197
And the motherfucker was
hitting me with baseball bat.
260
00:37:10,665 --> 00:37:12,967
In this city, you can jump
someone with baseball bats
261
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,869
and if you call the cops first
262
00:37:14,902 --> 00:37:16,971
and say, oh, they
fucked with me first.
263
00:37:17,004 --> 00:37:19,207
They aren't gonna get arrested.
264
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:21,209
And see, that's the
NYPD for you, man.
265
00:40:12,747 --> 00:40:13,748
Hey.
266
00:40:14,481 --> 00:40:15,816
Are you okay?
267
00:40:16,751 --> 00:40:17,885
Yes.
268
00:40:17,919 --> 00:40:19,720
I can walk you
down the subway.
269
00:40:21,756 --> 00:40:23,624
Are you sure?
270
00:40:55,957 --> 00:40:59,026
Listen, if I told you
what I was doing right now,
271
00:41:00,227 --> 00:41:01,762
you say you wouldn't
look at me differently
272
00:41:01,796 --> 00:41:04,098
but I'm pretty sure you would.
273
00:41:05,366 --> 00:41:06,767
I'm so misunderstood,
274
00:41:06,801 --> 00:41:11,672
no one will ever understand
what I go through.
275
00:41:11,706 --> 00:41:12,873
Those problems?
276
00:41:17,445 --> 00:41:18,779
What is hell?
277
00:41:19,347 --> 00:41:21,449
I have no bank account,
it's in the red.
278
00:41:23,517 --> 00:41:24,952
In New York City right now,
279
00:41:24,986 --> 00:41:26,821
this girl is the only
thing that makes me happy.
280
00:41:28,289 --> 00:41:30,324
Just spending time with her
and she's never coming back.
281
00:41:30,358 --> 00:41:32,492
- You taste like alcohol.
- You finally smelled me,
282
00:41:32,526 --> 00:41:33,995
I knew you would do that
283
00:41:34,028 --> 00:41:36,764
You taste like fucking
alcohol, so you're lying.
284
00:41:36,797 --> 00:41:38,966
I'm losing weight,
you know why?
285
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:40,468
Not because I'm on drugs
286
00:41:40,501 --> 00:41:42,970
because I actually just
don't have enough food
287
00:41:43,004 --> 00:41:44,405
to eat in the house.
288
00:41:44,438 --> 00:41:45,740
Oh my God, why do I have to?
289
00:41:45,773 --> 00:41:47,274
What are you so mad at me for?
290
00:41:47,308 --> 00:41:51,112
Because it's like I only
have to deal with your needs.
291
00:41:51,145 --> 00:41:52,913
Are you fucking serious?
292
00:41:52,947 --> 00:41:54,148
When we're at my house,
293
00:41:54,181 --> 00:41:56,083
do you know how many
things you asked me for?
294
00:41:56,117 --> 00:41:57,151
I asked you for one thing,
295
00:41:57,184 --> 00:41:58,953
what else have I asked you for.
296
00:41:58,986 --> 00:42:00,488
Oh, shut up.
297
00:42:01,255 --> 00:42:03,858
And then besides this, I'm
stuck in this lifestyle now
298
00:42:03,891 --> 00:42:06,427
just doing things I
don't wanna be doing.
299
00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:11,165
Aww, what the fuck?
300
00:42:12,501 --> 00:42:15,169
You fucked up my makeup asshole.
301
00:42:30,284 --> 00:42:32,920
I know deep down
I have a good heart
302
00:42:32,953 --> 00:42:35,456
but you know I do
fucked up things.
303
00:42:35,489 --> 00:42:36,690
And you told me 90 days
304
00:42:36,724 --> 00:42:38,459
well 90 days are like
what, three months?
305
00:42:38,492 --> 00:42:39,894
Then you'll know like
I've really changed
306
00:42:39,927 --> 00:42:41,495
for almost three months.
307
00:42:41,530 --> 00:42:43,364
But you've drank, of course.
308
00:42:43,397 --> 00:42:45,032
I've drank a few times.
309
00:42:45,066 --> 00:42:47,635
I feel like you can't go
90 days without drinking
310
00:42:47,668 --> 00:42:49,303
if you tried.
311
00:42:49,336 --> 00:42:50,638
I could.
312
00:42:50,671 --> 00:42:51,906
So then why don't
you just do it?
313
00:42:51,939 --> 00:42:53,808
Because
I can and I will.
314
00:42:53,841 --> 00:42:55,843
I'm not drinking today,
I didn't drink yesterday.
315
00:42:55,876 --> 00:42:58,513
You said it's all
about today, right?
316
00:42:58,547 --> 00:43:00,047
I don't know.
317
00:43:00,081 --> 00:43:01,248
If you don't have faith in me,
you don't have faith in me.
318
00:43:01,282 --> 00:43:03,084
I do have faith in you Mike.
319
00:43:03,117 --> 00:43:04,952
Well, then you know
you're still bringing it up
320
00:43:04,985 --> 00:43:07,488
and I feel like once
you go to this rehab
321
00:43:07,522 --> 00:43:09,723
that you're going to think
about that even more.
322
00:43:09,757 --> 00:43:10,825
And then you're
gonna start thinking,
323
00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:12,359
oh, I'm gone for a month,
324
00:43:12,393 --> 00:43:14,395
he's probably drinking
all the time now.
325
00:43:15,596 --> 00:43:16,864
I am going to hell,
326
00:43:18,165 --> 00:43:21,068
you don't even get to
suffer with any company,
327
00:43:22,103 --> 00:43:24,271
there's no solidarity in hell.
328
00:43:26,307 --> 00:43:29,643
You don't even get
to see the devil,
329
00:43:29,677 --> 00:43:31,312
probably.
330
00:49:29,203 --> 00:49:31,371
Oh, welcome, hi.
331
00:51:27,689 --> 00:51:29,023
Fucker.
332
00:51:31,759 --> 00:51:32,827
Motherfucker.
333
00:51:38,198 --> 00:51:39,534
My God.
334
00:51:41,101 --> 00:51:42,336
I have a chair.
335
00:51:42,369 --> 00:51:43,337
I have a chair.
336
00:51:43,370 --> 00:51:45,707
I'll get on the chair and do it.
337
00:51:45,740 --> 00:51:46,708
Just give me.
338
00:51:46,741 --> 00:51:47,709
No, I wanna do it.
339
00:51:47,742 --> 00:51:49,142
Let me do it.
340
00:51:49,176 --> 00:51:51,378
I don't want you to step on
the chair with your shoes.
341
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:53,948
What?
342
00:51:53,982 --> 00:51:55,817
What's wrong with my shoes ever?
343
00:51:55,850 --> 00:51:58,151
I've never worn
these shoes outside.
344
00:51:58,185 --> 00:51:59,654
This is it?
345
00:51:59,687 --> 00:52:01,522
I can't see you again tonight?
346
00:52:01,556 --> 00:52:03,758
I told you I'm going to
my grandmother's house,
347
00:52:03,791 --> 00:52:04,959
I'm having dinner with her.
348
00:52:04,993 --> 00:52:06,594
So this is the last
time I'll see you?
349
00:52:06,628 --> 00:52:09,764
Before I go, I guess.
350
00:52:09,797 --> 00:52:11,131
Wow.
351
00:52:11,799 --> 00:52:13,400
We should've left
at a good note.
352
00:52:16,504 --> 00:52:19,707
I know this is like a
difficult moment for you.
353
00:52:19,741 --> 00:52:21,308
A lot of things.
354
00:52:21,341 --> 00:52:22,644
Because every time man.
355
00:52:22,677 --> 00:52:26,179
Every single time
that we've been apart
356
00:52:26,213 --> 00:52:27,815
for more than a few days,
357
00:52:27,849 --> 00:52:29,884
you've thought about leaving me
358
00:52:29,917 --> 00:52:31,418
and now it's gonna be a month,
359
00:52:32,386 --> 00:52:33,888
what's gonna happen this time?
360
00:52:35,322 --> 00:52:38,860
I'm going to a rehab,
so it's a different...
361
00:52:38,893 --> 00:52:40,061
I'm going okay.
362
00:58:39,053 --> 00:58:40,721
This is really
important to me.
363
00:58:40,755 --> 00:58:42,790
I don't know what's gonna
happen in the next month,
364
00:58:42,823 --> 00:58:44,592
I don't know what's
happen with my life.
365
00:58:44,625 --> 00:58:47,094
So I feel like this is
the only thing I got left.
366
00:58:48,696 --> 00:58:50,297
- Stop.
- It's really important.
367
00:58:50,331 --> 00:58:51,866
- It is defeatist.
- It's really important.
368
00:58:51,899 --> 00:58:54,535
I'm not defeatist, I'm realist.
369
00:58:54,568 --> 00:58:56,203
So it's really important to me,
370
00:58:56,237 --> 00:58:58,039
I'm definitely not
not a defeatist.
371
00:58:58,072 --> 00:59:01,008
Well saying that this is
all you have is sort of...
372
00:59:01,042 --> 00:59:02,243
I'm not in a defeatist,
373
00:59:02,276 --> 00:59:03,244
I said, I don't know
what's going to happen
374
00:59:03,277 --> 00:59:04,678
in the next month.
375
00:59:04,712 --> 00:59:06,914
A lot of things are
looking very bleak for me.
376
00:59:06,947 --> 00:59:08,149
I might be in jail,
377
00:59:08,182 --> 00:59:10,051
I might have no career anymore,
378
00:59:10,084 --> 00:59:12,453
I might not have Emily anymore.
379
00:59:12,486 --> 00:59:13,687
It's all in my hands
380
00:59:13,721 --> 00:59:15,156
and I'm trying to
do the right thing,
381
00:59:15,189 --> 00:59:19,994
but if people don't have faith
in me, I can't blame them.
382
00:59:22,196 --> 00:59:24,065
I made my bed and
I'm gonna lie in it
383
00:59:29,570 --> 00:59:30,571
I'm Sorry.
384
00:59:36,110 --> 00:59:37,478
I hope you're okay.
385
00:59:41,348 --> 00:59:44,452
And I hope it's not my
fault if you're not okay.
386
00:59:44,485 --> 00:59:46,187
Yo, watch where
you're going man
387
00:59:50,057 --> 00:59:51,560
And I'm
sorry for everything.
388
00:59:51,592 --> 00:59:53,627
I wish I could take it back,
389
00:59:56,397 --> 00:59:57,631
but I can't do this.
390
01:12:19,540 --> 01:12:21,242
I'm a grown up
now am an adult.
391
01:12:23,277 --> 01:12:25,746
I can't be thinking like
a young kid anymore,
392
01:12:26,647 --> 01:12:27,748
I'm not in my twenties anymore,
393
01:12:27,782 --> 01:12:29,717
am not a teenager anymore.
394
01:12:46,667 --> 01:12:48,736
I got bigger and better
things to look forward to
395
01:12:48,769 --> 01:12:52,173
and I'm a street brat,
396
01:12:52,206 --> 01:12:55,209
those days are over,
I've started to grow up.
397
01:12:55,243 --> 01:12:57,011
I am a man who fuck up.
398
01:14:15,523 --> 01:14:20,460
I have anger issues, I'm
trying to work on them.
399
01:14:21,461 --> 01:14:24,899
It's not easy.
400
01:14:24,932 --> 01:14:28,536
Maybe I get it
from my father.
401
01:14:38,879 --> 01:14:40,715
I have a real rage issue,
402
01:14:42,016 --> 01:14:43,985
its probably used to
be brain game
403
01:14:44,018 --> 01:14:47,655
I mean, the abuse
is not just physical.
404
01:14:47,688 --> 01:14:51,225
its like watching my
father scream at my mother
405
01:14:51,258 --> 01:14:53,260
and treat her like shit.
406
01:15:08,542 --> 01:15:11,212
This is what happens when you
are abused as a fucking child
407
01:15:11,245 --> 01:15:14,915
and violently
abused like I was,
408
01:15:14,949 --> 01:15:18,552
go on to have anger
problem and stuff.
409
01:15:18,586 --> 01:15:20,221
There are other people
410
01:15:20,254 --> 01:15:22,456
and it seems life that's
what I suffer from.
411
01:15:42,209 --> 01:15:45,479
I've been through a lot of shit,
a lot of suffering.
412
01:15:45,514 --> 01:15:48,916
Suffering builds character,
it definitely fucking does.
413
01:19:09,116 --> 01:19:10,117
Hey.
414
01:19:14,355 --> 01:19:15,690
I'm sorry.
415
01:19:24,733 --> 01:19:25,833
It's a flower for you.
416
01:19:32,406 --> 01:19:33,708
What?
417
01:19:33,742 --> 01:19:34,709
What?
418
01:19:34,743 --> 01:19:36,243
What going on?
419
01:19:37,646 --> 01:19:40,147
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
420
01:19:40,180 --> 01:19:42,349
You're gonna just
disappearing like that?
421
01:19:43,984 --> 01:19:45,720
And give me flowers?
422
01:19:47,756 --> 01:19:49,056
It doesn't work like that.
423
01:19:53,827 --> 01:19:54,763
- I'm sorry...
- No really,
424
01:19:54,795 --> 01:19:56,030
its not okay.
425
01:19:58,966 --> 01:20:00,669
Your brother told
me what you did.
426
01:20:04,171 --> 01:20:05,372
So what?
427
01:20:05,406 --> 01:20:06,907
What's going on?
428
01:20:09,476 --> 01:20:11,579
I'm sorry I didn't
wanna tell you.
429
01:20:11,613 --> 01:20:12,846
Tell me what?
430
01:20:16,751 --> 01:20:18,085
I'm sick.
431
01:20:19,788 --> 01:20:20,988
Sick?
432
01:20:21,021 --> 01:20:22,724
I have bipolar disorder.
433
01:20:26,193 --> 01:20:27,529
Okay.
434
01:20:29,863 --> 01:20:31,465
You're crazy my love.
435
01:20:32,933 --> 01:20:37,539
Like not crazy, like
this is not sick, okay.
436
01:20:38,839 --> 01:20:41,208
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
437
01:20:41,241 --> 01:20:46,748
I don't care, I'm here you
have to tell me these things.
438
01:20:48,148 --> 01:20:51,385
I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, I'm sorry.
439
01:20:54,622 --> 01:20:56,290
I'm here, okay?
440
01:20:56,323 --> 01:20:57,491
Okay.
441
01:22:25,412 --> 01:22:26,380
Nice jacket.
442
01:22:26,413 --> 01:22:32,386
Thanks.
443
01:22:32,419 --> 01:22:33,922
I like the blueberry.
444
01:22:35,523 --> 01:22:36,490
The jacket?
445
01:22:36,524 --> 01:22:37,491
Muffin.
446
01:22:53,608 --> 01:22:55,309
Where are you from?
447
01:22:55,342 --> 01:22:56,477
From Russia.
448
01:22:56,511 --> 01:22:57,545
Wow, its cool so far.
449
01:22:58,580 --> 01:22:59,547
What brings you here?
450
01:22:59,581 --> 01:23:00,548
Study.
451
01:23:00,582 --> 01:23:02,550
Study what?
452
01:23:02,584 --> 01:23:03,885
Cultural studies.
30384
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