All language subtitles for Amazing Stories S02E02 - Miscalculation (1986)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,694 --> 00:00:12,245 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 2 00:00:47,199 --> 00:00:50,723 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 3 00:01:00,848 --> 00:01:03,604 ?? [ Rock ] 4 00:01:05,845 --> 00:01:07,864 ? The lights are on ? 5 00:01:07,896 --> 00:01:10,268 ? But you're not home ? 6 00:01:10,299 --> 00:01:14,239 ? Your mind is not your own ? 7 00:01:14,271 --> 00:01:18,404 ? Your heart sweats Your body shakes ? 8 00:01:18,436 --> 00:01:22,410 ? Another kiss is what it takes ? 9 00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:26,575 ? You can't sleep No, you can't eat ? 10 00:01:26,607 --> 00:01:30,675 ? There's no doubt you're in deep ? 11 00:01:30,707 --> 00:01:32,917 ? Your shoulder's tight ? 12 00:01:32,949 --> 00:01:34,840 ? You can't breathe ? 13 00:01:34,873 --> 00:01:38,717 ? Another kiss is all you need ? 14 00:01:38,748 --> 00:01:43,426 ? Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff ? 15 00:01:43,458 --> 00:01:44,549 ? Oh, yeah ? 16 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,628 ? It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough ? 17 00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:53,840 ? You know you're gonna have to face it ? 18 00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:55,923 ? You're addicted to love ? 19 00:01:55,954 --> 00:01:59,670 ? ...the signs But you can't read ? 20 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,272 ? You're runnin' at-- ?? 21 00:02:01,304 --> 00:02:04,541 Well, today is the day, Mr. Beezler. 22 00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,239 You get a date for Friday night. 23 00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:08,930 Or you die trying. 24 00:02:09,635 --> 00:02:11,173 [ Hair Dryer Whirs ] 25 00:02:11,204 --> 00:02:16,266 Don, Don, let me show you a thing or two about fashion! 26 00:02:16,299 --> 00:02:19,792 Okay. Wait. Something's missing. 27 00:02:19,823 --> 00:02:23,571 Um, ah, white cane-back loafers. 28 00:02:24,852 --> 00:02:26,713 - Anybody home? - [ Man ] Go away! 29 00:02:29,467 --> 00:02:31,679 Ta-da! Five Pepperoni-pluses. 30 00:02:31,709 --> 00:02:33,567 Ah! That'll be 42, even. 31 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,395 Great suspenders. Those leather, right? [ Chuckles ] 32 00:02:35,425 --> 00:02:36,996 Whoa, where'd you get these girls? 33 00:02:37,027 --> 00:02:38,407 Look, I didn't order any pizzas, 34 00:02:38,437 --> 00:02:40,135 especially not at, what, 9:00 in the morning? 35 00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:43,532 Oh, yeah? What's that? 36 00:02:43,562 --> 00:02:46,863 Well, in the first place, this is not number six. It's number 205. 37 00:02:46,895 --> 00:02:49,363 And in the second place, Corona Drive is the next drive over. 38 00:02:49,394 --> 00:02:50,869 Where'd you get this book? How is it? Pretty good? 39 00:02:50,901 --> 00:02:53,464 I only got it yesterday. Look, I really got to get going. 40 00:02:53,496 --> 00:02:55,964 You don't really think you're gonna score in those threads, do you? 41 00:02:55,995 --> 00:02:59,230 Would you please take your pizzas and leave, okay? 42 00:02:59,264 --> 00:03:02,755 What? No tip? I'm just kiddin'. Listen, you keep the pizzas. 43 00:03:02,786 --> 00:03:05,063 They were ordered for some party last night. We got backed up. 44 00:03:05,094 --> 00:03:07,624 Our number's on the box in case you get a crave on. 45 00:03:07,657 --> 00:03:09,804 Ask for me special-- Bert. See ya. 46 00:03:10,765 --> 00:03:13,296 Oh, and, hey, loosen up! 47 00:03:15,347 --> 00:03:18,583 "The College Men's Guide to Picking Up Women Rule 29. 48 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,378 Living facilities. 49 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,235 There are millions of gorgeous, eager women out there... 50 00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:24,862 just waiting for you, you big lug. 51 00:03:24,893 --> 00:03:27,265 But, unfortunately, they are out there so, whatever you do, never--" 52 00:03:27,298 --> 00:03:28,996 Charley horse! Charley horse! 53 00:03:29,028 --> 00:03:30,630 "Never, and we mean never--" 54 00:03:30,661 --> 00:03:32,038 Please massage my calf, Phil. 55 00:03:32,071 --> 00:03:35,627 "Never date the house mother's daughter." Bye, Angela. 56 00:03:35,659 --> 00:03:37,646 Bye, Phil. 57 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:45,207 Ay, Chihuahua. 58 00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:48,539 That's it. 59 00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:53,698 Ah, the direct approach. Okay. 60 00:03:53,728 --> 00:03:57,669 [ Mumbling ] 61 00:04:00,777 --> 00:04:04,622 "Oh, baby. I love you more than I love my-my folks." 62 00:04:04,654 --> 00:04:07,634 How'd you like open-heart surgery... with a spoon? 63 00:04:12,183 --> 00:04:15,163 - Hey, is this Willoughby and Fourth? - No, it's Tenth and Main. 64 00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:21,539 Thank you. 65 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:35,091 Okay, uh, the subtle approach. 66 00:04:35,122 --> 00:04:39,063 "At the Laundromat." "Sporting Event." 67 00:04:39,095 --> 00:04:40,826 Uh, "Drug Store." Okay. 68 00:04:47,074 --> 00:04:49,798 ?? [ Humming ] 69 00:04:52,648 --> 00:04:55,532 - I'm a photographer. - And I'm a cashier. 70 00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,262 You know, if you'd let me shoot you, 71 00:04:57,295 --> 00:05:00,113 I could probably get you in one of these magazines. 72 00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:03,478 If I could shoot you, I'd get a medal. Five out of 20. 73 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,558 Keep the change. 74 00:05:14,050 --> 00:05:17,255 Okay, "Chapter Eight. 75 00:05:17,286 --> 00:05:19,176 The Intellectual Approach." 76 00:05:19,208 --> 00:05:21,612 "Creative Writing." No, that's not it. 77 00:05:21,644 --> 00:05:24,304 Uh, "Physical Sciences." Okay. 78 00:05:25,007 --> 00:05:26,483 Um-- 79 00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,588 I have got... 80 00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:39,523 a periodic chart of all the elements stenciled on my ceiling. 81 00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,277 It's huge. 82 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:45,129 You wanna come over and, uh, read it? 83 00:05:45,161 --> 00:05:46,570 No. 84 00:05:47,403 --> 00:05:49,293 [ Scoffs ] Okay. 85 00:05:49,325 --> 00:05:51,056 - Oh. - What-- 86 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,771 - Ah, ah, ah, darn. - [ Shrieks ] 87 00:05:56,117 --> 00:05:59,290 What are you? Punishment for something I did in a former life? 88 00:05:59,322 --> 00:06:02,046 Oh, you jerk! I can't believe I have you for a lab-- 89 00:06:02,076 --> 00:06:03,646 What are you doing Friday night? 90 00:06:03,678 --> 00:06:06,915 Washing my hair... all night long. 91 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:12,073 Where did that come from? 92 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:13,963 - [ Whimpers ] - That's a shar-pei. 93 00:06:13,996 --> 00:06:16,848 It's-- That's one of the rarest breeds in the world. 94 00:06:20,724 --> 00:06:24,569 - Here, it's yours. - Thank you, Phil. 95 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,675 So, uh, what do you think? You wanna go out with me Friday night? 96 00:06:27,707 --> 00:06:30,271 - I'd rather have a root canal. - [ Growls ] 97 00:06:45,009 --> 00:06:46,323 Isn't he adorable? 98 00:06:59,394 --> 00:07:00,740 Thank you, sir! 99 00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:04,137 Hey, what the-- What are you doing? 100 00:07:04,168 --> 00:07:06,379 I'm gonna rip your face off, Beezler! 101 00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:09,999 Gimme my stuff back, moron. 102 00:07:10,032 --> 00:07:13,332 Mr. Beezler, the class is not over. 103 00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:15,958 - [ Door Slams ] - Yet. 104 00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:19,546 [ Tires Screech ] 105 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:23,423 [ Test Tubes Clatter ] 106 00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:34,958 Oh, Phil! Please help me! I was looking for a quarter I dropped and my arm... 107 00:07:34,989 --> 00:07:38,034 got caught somehow. 108 00:07:38,065 --> 00:07:40,853 [ Panting ] 109 00:07:42,487 --> 00:07:43,961 [ Grunts ] 110 00:07:48,318 --> 00:07:50,753 Thanks for nothin'. Now I've got something that really works! 111 00:07:50,785 --> 00:07:54,053 Are you in there? I know you're in there. 112 00:07:54,084 --> 00:07:57,449 Ah, hello, Miss Autumn, you doll, you. 113 00:07:57,481 --> 00:08:00,876 How are you today? No, ah, don't answer that. 114 00:08:02,030 --> 00:08:03,825 Yes, all right. 115 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,792 Come on. 116 00:08:13,789 --> 00:08:15,392 Whoa. 117 00:08:25,227 --> 00:08:27,245 Come on. Come on! You worked on an ugly dog. 118 00:08:27,277 --> 00:08:29,231 Please work on a beautiful woman. 119 00:08:31,796 --> 00:08:32,981 [ Phone Rings ] 120 00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:40,703 Hello? 121 00:08:40,734 --> 00:08:43,008 Phil? It's Angela. 122 00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:45,186 Are you okay? I heard a crash. 123 00:08:45,218 --> 00:08:47,877 Listen, Angela. I'm fine, okay? 124 00:08:47,909 --> 00:08:51,018 - Are you sure you're fine? - Yes, I'm sure, Angela. 125 00:08:51,051 --> 00:08:54,991 [ Woman ] Kiss me, and I can be yours forever. 126 00:08:55,021 --> 00:08:57,650 - Phil? Did you say-- - [ Replaces Receiver ] 127 00:09:04,633 --> 00:09:09,057 Kiss me, and I can be yours forever. 128 00:09:10,145 --> 00:09:12,099 Come on and kiss me. 129 00:09:12,131 --> 00:09:13,124 Please. 130 00:09:13,156 --> 00:09:14,951 Oh, no, I used too much. 131 00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:18,861 Come on! 132 00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:21,552 Kiss me. Please? 133 00:09:21,968 --> 00:09:23,537 [ Chuckles ] 134 00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:25,429 Kiss me. 135 00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:28,503 Come on. Kiss me. 136 00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:30,972 Um-- 137 00:09:33,116 --> 00:09:34,815 [ Grunting ] 138 00:09:35,487 --> 00:09:37,250 Kiss me, please. 139 00:09:37,921 --> 00:09:39,815 Ow. [ Grunting ] 140 00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:44,618 Kiss me. 141 00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,799 - [ Grunts ] - [ Woman Roars ] 142 00:09:50,386 --> 00:09:52,822 [ Grunting ] 143 00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:55,448 [ Grunts ] 144 00:09:56,184 --> 00:09:58,460 [ Roars ] 145 00:09:59,870 --> 00:10:03,811 Come here! [ Growls ] 146 00:10:03,842 --> 00:10:05,060 Aah! Aah! 147 00:10:05,090 --> 00:10:06,758 [ Roars ] 148 00:10:06,789 --> 00:10:10,058 [ Phil ] Ow! Aah! [ Shouting ] 149 00:10:14,479 --> 00:10:15,505 [ Growling ] 150 00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:20,632 [ Grunting ] 151 00:10:22,714 --> 00:10:26,495 Kiss me. Kiss me! [ Growls ] 152 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,619 - Kiss me! - [ Grunts ] 153 00:10:31,652 --> 00:10:34,055 [ Shouts ] Let me in! 154 00:10:34,086 --> 00:10:36,523 - Let me in! - What's the rush? 155 00:10:37,708 --> 00:10:39,374 - [ Growling ] Please! - Uh, no! 156 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,585 Hurry! 157 00:10:41,615 --> 00:10:45,396 - Hurry! I'm starting to melt! - Melt? 158 00:10:45,428 --> 00:10:47,415 - Hurry! - Melt? 159 00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:50,428 I'm melting! 160 00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:53,278 [ Bubbling ] 161 00:11:08,785 --> 00:11:11,477 I always wanted a woman to melt in my arms. 162 00:11:19,134 --> 00:11:22,082 But this is too much. 163 00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:24,966 [ Panting ] 164 00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:33,582 [ Crying ] 165 00:11:33,614 --> 00:11:35,698 Oh, n-- 166 00:11:37,076 --> 00:11:38,549 [ Sighs ] 167 00:11:44,765 --> 00:11:47,521 No. No. 168 00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:55,466 What if I used a little less this time? 169 00:11:57,772 --> 00:11:59,567 No. [ Scoffs ] 170 00:12:30,805 --> 00:12:32,985 Come on. Oops. 171 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,919 Okay. Come on, come on, come on. 172 00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:42,306 There. A little dab will do ya. 173 00:12:42,338 --> 00:12:43,909 Not too much. 174 00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:46,696 Phil? Phil, are you all right in there? 175 00:12:46,727 --> 00:12:49,323 [ Singsong ] Yes! Go away! 176 00:12:49,355 --> 00:12:51,309 No. Look, Phil. Open this door now! 177 00:12:51,342 --> 00:12:53,233 I said, go away! 178 00:12:53,264 --> 00:12:55,379 Phil, open up! Come on. Open up. 179 00:12:55,411 --> 00:12:58,807 - What is it? - I heard another crash. Are you sure you're okay? 180 00:12:58,839 --> 00:13:02,588 - Yes. I just dropped my... bed. - Your what? 181 00:13:02,619 --> 00:13:05,631 [ Woman #2 ] Kiss me, and I'm yours forever. 182 00:13:14,536 --> 00:13:17,165 [ Chuckles ] 183 00:13:24,692 --> 00:13:25,911 - [ Bones Crack ] - [ Shouts ] 184 00:13:25,943 --> 00:13:28,154 - [ Raspy ] Kiss me, and I'm yours forever. - No! 185 00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:30,462 No, thank you. 186 00:13:30,494 --> 00:13:34,883 [ Raspy ] Kiss me, and I'm yours forever. 187 00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,772 Not enough! I didn't use enough. 188 00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:41,291 Kiss me, and I'm yours forever! 189 00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:44,142 - [ Sighs ] - Don't touch me! 190 00:13:44,174 --> 00:13:46,352 [ Woman Hisses ] 191 00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:50,263 Tear up some furniture. Just don't... touch me! 192 00:13:50,294 --> 00:13:53,114 - Just kiss me once. - No! 193 00:13:53,914 --> 00:13:55,515 I have a... headache. 194 00:13:56,317 --> 00:13:59,616 Just one kiss. Oh, come on. 195 00:14:01,123 --> 00:14:02,725 [ Both Shout ] 196 00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:09,773 [ Screaming ] 197 00:14:12,911 --> 00:14:14,803 - [ Raspy ] Hurry! - You hurry up! 198 00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:17,527 - I'm melting! - Hurry up and melt already. 199 00:14:17,559 --> 00:14:19,993 - Oh, boy. - [ Woman Screams ] 200 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:23,454 He sure must know how to show a girl a good time. 201 00:14:23,486 --> 00:14:24,671 [ Chuckles ] 202 00:14:24,702 --> 00:14:29,188 [ Screams ] 203 00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:34,378 [ Screaming Continues ] 204 00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:36,814 That does it! 205 00:14:41,492 --> 00:14:42,838 Operator, get me the police! 206 00:14:52,449 --> 00:14:55,300 [ Groans ] 207 00:14:59,914 --> 00:15:02,318 [ Panting ] 208 00:15:08,468 --> 00:15:10,518 [ Grunting ] 209 00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:28,940 [ Grunts ] 210 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,199 Please work this time. 211 00:15:44,287 --> 00:15:47,941 [ Police Radio Chatter ] 212 00:15:49,989 --> 00:15:53,802 This one's gonna work. Third time's the charm, they say. 213 00:15:53,835 --> 00:15:55,501 [ Chuckles ] 214 00:15:58,096 --> 00:15:59,987 Come on. 215 00:16:01,524 --> 00:16:04,120 [ Knocking ] 216 00:16:04,152 --> 00:16:06,297 Go away! 217 00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:08,477 No. There are two policemen here. 218 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:11,103 They just want to know if you're torturing anyone in there. Are you? 219 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,514 What? 220 00:16:12,546 --> 00:16:15,173 [ Cop #1 ] Come on, Beezler. We know you got a girl in there. 221 00:16:15,204 --> 00:16:18,184 - Open up. We're comin' through. - [ Cop #2 ] We mean it. 222 00:16:18,217 --> 00:16:19,754 - Open up. - Back away. 223 00:16:19,787 --> 00:16:21,805 - [ Cop #1 ] Come on! Hey! - [ Straining ] 224 00:16:21,837 --> 00:16:23,471 Get it open. We're not playing around. 225 00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:25,459 [ Cop #2 ] Don't make it hard on yourself, Beezler. 226 00:16:25,489 --> 00:16:27,188 - Let's go! - [ Cop #1 ] We're comin' in.' 227 00:16:27,221 --> 00:16:28,790 Get ready. Here we go. One, two-- 228 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,455 - [ Grunts ] - Freeze! 229 00:16:30,487 --> 00:16:33,626 - Where's the girl? - Girl? Uh-- 230 00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,191 [ Speaks French ] 231 00:16:36,224 --> 00:16:39,331 The one that the neighbors heard screaming! The one that I heard say-- 232 00:16:39,362 --> 00:16:44,522 [ Woman #3 ] Kiss me, and I'm yours forever. 233 00:16:45,257 --> 00:16:47,052 [ Chuckles ] 234 00:16:52,466 --> 00:16:54,100 Has this guy been torturing you? 235 00:16:54,132 --> 00:16:58,906 Mm-hmm, has he ever! 236 00:16:58,938 --> 00:17:00,123 [ Chuckles ] 237 00:17:01,373 --> 00:17:02,911 - Let's go, Larry. - B-B-But-- 238 00:17:02,943 --> 00:17:06,211 - Come on, young lady. Let's leave 'em alone. - Phil! 239 00:17:07,717 --> 00:17:10,537 - I did it right! - You sure did, kid. 240 00:17:12,907 --> 00:17:14,318 Kiss me. 241 00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:17,424 Kiss me. 242 00:17:17,456 --> 00:17:20,726 Kiss me, kiss me. 243 00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:22,711 Kiss me. 244 00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:26,203 [ Phil ] No! No, no, no, no, no! 245 00:17:26,236 --> 00:17:30,305 - Not again! Not again. - That book of his paid off, huh? 246 00:17:30,336 --> 00:17:32,164 I don't even want to talk about it. 247 00:17:32,195 --> 00:17:34,631 [ Phil ] No, no, no! 248 00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:41,295 [ Gasping ] 249 00:17:42,446 --> 00:17:44,594 I-It's-- 250 00:17:44,624 --> 00:17:46,677 It's almost gone. 251 00:17:50,329 --> 00:17:53,052 There's almost... 252 00:17:54,045 --> 00:17:55,777 none left. 253 00:17:57,185 --> 00:17:59,557 Almost none at all. 254 00:17:59,588 --> 00:18:02,921 [ Panting ] 255 00:18:05,674 --> 00:18:08,590 Not too much. [ Chuckles ] 256 00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:13,590 Not too little. 257 00:18:15,959 --> 00:18:18,107 [ Giggles ] 258 00:18:25,698 --> 00:18:28,839 This one just has to work. [ Giggles ] 259 00:18:28,872 --> 00:18:31,819 That's all there is to it. It just has to. 260 00:18:37,232 --> 00:18:39,445 Please. Please, please, please, please, please. 261 00:18:39,475 --> 00:18:43,642 [ Man On TV ] Lose it on the hips and gain it to your chest. 262 00:18:46,108 --> 00:18:48,159 Here's the last of our five-point questions. 263 00:18:48,191 --> 00:18:52,900 Ladies, what's the one thing the two of you try not to talk about-- 264 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,657 - Please, please, please, please, please, please. - [ Angela ] Phil, let us in! 265 00:18:55,688 --> 00:18:58,346 - Hey, you okay there, dude? - Phil, open up! 266 00:18:58,379 --> 00:18:59,564 [ Bert ] Hey, Phil, come on. Open up. 267 00:18:59,595 --> 00:19:02,576 - [ Angela ] Open this door now! - [ Bert ] What's goin' on? 268 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:06,198 Kiss me, and I'm yours forever. 269 00:19:08,824 --> 00:19:11,675 - Kiss me, and I'm yours-- - Oh, yeah! 270 00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:14,654 Kiss me, and I'm yours forever. 271 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,771 Yeah! 272 00:19:18,436 --> 00:19:20,550 [ Doorknob Rattling ] 273 00:19:21,544 --> 00:19:23,690 Oh, yeah! Kiss me, and I'm yours forever. 274 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,516 [ Gasps ] 275 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,846 - [ Woman #4 ] My dress is by-- - Where is she? 276 00:19:33,879 --> 00:19:36,058 My nail polish, glorious apple by Tinta-fe. 277 00:19:36,089 --> 00:19:39,838 And my jewelry is designed by Philip Cassus of Monte Carlo. 278 00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:42,721 I'm sorry. I-I thought you meant me in there. 279 00:19:43,746 --> 00:19:46,150 What. You? 280 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:49,449 In there? That was-- That was you? 281 00:19:50,217 --> 00:19:51,756 [ Giggles ] 282 00:19:55,472 --> 00:19:57,011 What are you doing Friday night? 283 00:19:57,042 --> 00:20:00,951 Uh, I-I think I'm free. I don't know. 284 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,418 [ Chattering ] 285 00:20:07,487 --> 00:20:13,224 [ Bubbling, Dripping ] 20219

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