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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper, and this is
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00:00:04,635 --> 00:00:07,070
"Why Sheldon Cooper
Should Go to College."
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Which is why I'm proposing
that I live at home
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00:00:09,164 --> 00:00:11,304
but enroll full-time
to continue my studies
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00:00:11,307 --> 00:00:14,209
with Dr. Sturgis at East Texas Tech.
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00:00:14,212 --> 00:00:15,979
Hi, Mary.
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I know this must be a
hard decision for you,
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00:00:19,351 --> 00:00:21,651
but if you let him come here,
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00:00:21,653 --> 00:00:24,398
I promise we'll take good care of him.
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00:00:26,191 --> 00:00:28,968
Sheldon Cooper: ready for college,
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00:00:28,971 --> 00:00:30,793
ready to change the world.
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GEORGE SR.: Cut.
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If that doesn't convince her,
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I don't know what her problem is.
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♪ ♪
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I'm excited to finally
use college-ruled paper
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and not feel like I'm living a lie.
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What's college-ruled paper?
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00:00:46,578 --> 00:00:48,845
The lines are 18% closer together.
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College sounds hard.
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You won't have to
worry about that, honey.
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Okay.
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00:00:53,979 --> 00:00:56,685
Missy, don't forget that you
have to pick out a present
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00:00:56,688 --> 00:00:58,321
for that birthday next week.
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00:00:58,323 --> 00:01:00,256
Mom, it's "Melissa" now.
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Middle school.
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00:01:01,927 --> 00:01:03,984
- Who's Melissa?
- Me.
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00:01:03,987 --> 00:01:05,328
Then who's Missy?
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"Missy" is short for "Melissa."
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00:01:06,898 --> 00:01:09,332
Like how "Billy" is short for "William."
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I don't understand.
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You know how your real name is William?
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I'm Billy.
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No, we call you Billy, but
your real name is William.
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But my underpants say "Billy" in them.
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Mom, is my name William?
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Yeah.
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Then whose underpants am I wearing?
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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JEFF: Thanks again.
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Robin is gonna be thrilled with this.
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Oh, don't thank me. Thank Mary.
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She's the one who said I had to do it.
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Just out of curiosity,
did she also mention
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helping me build the crib at some point?
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No.
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Well, act surprised when she does.
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- (engine sputtering outside)
- GEORGE JR.: Dang it.
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What do you think you're doing?
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Trying to get the bike started.
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Why?
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So I can ride it.
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Like hell you are!
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Sorry.
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00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,773
You don't use it.
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'Cause your mother won't let me.
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And if I can't, you can't.
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If I get it running,
can I at least sell it?
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00:02:28,823 --> 00:02:30,086
No.
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But it's just sitting
here. What's the point?
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Point is I said no.
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I can't believe someone so lame
even owned a bike like this.
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Why are kids such a pain in the ass?
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I'm sure yours will be great.
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I feel like this cover
really says who I am now.
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00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:56,306
That looks like all your notebooks.
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Missy got ponies. Melissa gets horses.
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(answering machine beeps)
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STURGIS: Hello, Coopers.
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Dr. Sturgis here.
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This is a message for Mary.
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I have some news I
need to share with you
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00:03:09,421 --> 00:03:11,854
before Sheldon starts college.
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Please call me back.
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00:03:13,108 --> 00:03:14,591
(answering machine beeps)
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I wonder why he'd want
to talk to you and not me.
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(answering machine beeps)
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STURGIS: Dr. Sturgis again.
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If Sheldon happened to
hear that last message
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and is wondering why I'd want
to speak to his mother first
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00:03:24,703 --> 00:03:26,770
and not him...
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Excellent question!
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It's that kind of
curiosity that makes him
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a true man of science.
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(answering machine clicks, beeps)
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I'm a true man of science.
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(line ringing)
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- STURGIS: Hello.
- Hello, Dr. Sturgis.
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This is Mary Cooper.
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00:03:48,827 --> 00:03:51,628
Hi. Thanks for calling me back.
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00:03:51,630 --> 00:03:53,769
So, what's going on?
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Everything okay?
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00:03:55,033 --> 00:03:58,434
Yes, everything is quite good, actually.
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Well, for me, that is.
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00:04:00,071 --> 00:04:01,625
Um...
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did you know there's a
supercollider being built
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in Waxahachie, Texas?
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00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:08,911
No.
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Do you know what a supercollider is?
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00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,092
Not really.
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00:04:13,095 --> 00:04:15,053
Would you like a crash course?
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00:04:15,056 --> 00:04:16,752
Which is humorous
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00:04:16,755 --> 00:04:21,157
because it involves particles
crashing into each other.
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I'd like you to tell me what
this has to do with Sheldon.
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00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:27,647
Well, that part's less funny.
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I've taken a job there.
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Hold on.
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00:04:32,154 --> 00:04:35,604
You're not gonna be around
when Sheldon starts college?
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00:04:35,607 --> 00:04:37,873
That's a great question.
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00:04:37,876 --> 00:04:39,042
No.
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00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:41,761
John, I agreed to let him go
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because you were gonna be
there to look after him.
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00:04:44,626 --> 00:04:46,272
I know.
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00:04:46,275 --> 00:04:48,917
And I feel terrible about it, but...
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please understand,
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this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
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I couldn't turn it down.
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Orientation starts next week.
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I'm aware.
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00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:02,297
(sighs) Well, I hope that you're ready
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00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,467
to hear him freak out when you tell him.
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00:05:04,469 --> 00:05:06,537
I was kind of hoping
he'd just be excited
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00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,904
I get to work on the supercollider.
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00:05:08,907 --> 00:05:10,811
Right, because being
happy for other people
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00:05:10,814 --> 00:05:12,037
is where he shines.
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00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,343
A supercollider?
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00:05:13,345 --> 00:05:15,022
Well, you can't say no to that.
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I give up.
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00:05:16,261 --> 00:05:18,347
Ooh, can you get me a bumper sticker?
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00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:22,552
Did you know Dr. Sturgis
was taking a new job?
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00:05:22,554 --> 00:05:23,865
What job?
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00:05:23,868 --> 00:05:28,056
He went to work on some
supercollider in Waxahachie.
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00:05:28,059 --> 00:05:29,759
What do you mean "went"?
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00:05:29,761 --> 00:05:31,127
He's already there.
140
00:05:31,129 --> 00:05:34,097
- When did you hear this?
- He just called.
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00:05:34,099 --> 00:05:36,933
I was counting on him
to be there for Sheldon.
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00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,389
Well, you'd think he
would've mentioned it to me.
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00:05:39,392 --> 00:05:41,108
Sheldon says it's okay with him,
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00:05:41,111 --> 00:05:42,939
but I would certainly feel a lot better
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00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:45,401
if there were adults
there that I trusted.
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00:05:45,404 --> 00:05:47,358
Nothing on the answering machine.
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00:05:47,361 --> 00:05:49,277
He's just a little
boy, and he's gonna be
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00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,108
on that big campus all by himself.
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00:05:51,111 --> 00:05:52,944
I mean, I know we're not dating anymore,
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00:05:52,947 --> 00:05:54,886
but I thought we were still friends.
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00:05:54,889 --> 00:05:56,006
Excuse me.
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00:05:56,009 --> 00:05:58,609
I think you're focusing on the
wrong part of the story here.
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00:05:58,612 --> 00:06:00,980
He's little, you're
worried. Please continue.
154
00:06:01,993 --> 00:06:03,960
That sums it up.
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00:06:03,962 --> 00:06:05,796
Okay.
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00:06:13,115 --> 00:06:14,197
Missy.
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00:06:14,199 --> 00:06:16,053
(groans)
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00:06:16,056 --> 00:06:17,167
What?
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00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:18,835
Help me with my clothes.
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00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,604
Burn them and get new ones.
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00:06:20,606 --> 00:06:22,506
Please, it's freshman orientation.
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00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,341
I want to make a good impression.
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Fine.
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00:06:26,245 --> 00:06:29,675
Which bow tie says mature
enough to be in college
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00:06:29,678 --> 00:06:32,115
but whimsical enough to
discuss which came first,
166
00:06:32,117 --> 00:06:34,118
the Higgs field or the photon?
167
00:06:35,254 --> 00:06:37,254
They both say weird kid who eats alone.
168
00:06:37,256 --> 00:06:39,156
Come on. I know you're concerned about
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what you'll wear to middle school.
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00:06:40,926 --> 00:06:43,261
(sighs) Show me again.
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The blue one. Plaid's too busy.
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Thanks.
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00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:50,766
Or don't be the kid in a bow tie.
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This is not the day to go crazy.
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My son, the college freshman.
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I can't believe it.
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00:07:00,746 --> 00:07:02,112
How can you not believe it?
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00:07:02,114 --> 00:07:03,947
You had to sign my vaccination form.
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00:07:03,949 --> 00:07:05,282
Right.
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00:07:05,284 --> 00:07:06,850
So, what do you want to do first?
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00:07:06,852 --> 00:07:08,919
I was thinking we could
start at the bookstore,
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00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:10,387
try and beat the lines.
183
00:07:10,389 --> 00:07:12,956
I agree about the lines,
but what do you mean "we"?
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00:07:12,958 --> 00:07:15,292
I mean you and me.
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00:07:15,294 --> 00:07:17,093
This is my first day. I can't be seen
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walking around campus with my mommy.
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00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:21,565
Well, it's only orientation.
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00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,967
Yes, and I'm quite capable
of handling everything
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00:07:23,969 --> 00:07:25,902
that I need to get done today on my own.
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00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,470
I'm sure you are.
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00:07:27,472 --> 00:07:30,473
I just figured, with
Dr. Sturgis not around,
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it might be nice if I could be.
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No one else's mother is going to be.
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00:07:34,846 --> 00:07:36,179
You don't know that.
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00:07:36,181 --> 00:07:38,181
Well, I know mine isn't.
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00:07:38,183 --> 00:07:40,517
(sighs) You might want
to watch the attitude
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00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,514
to the person who's driving you there.
198
00:07:42,517 --> 00:07:43,764
Not all the way there.
199
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:46,255
Drop me off a block away
so no one sees us together.
200
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:49,192
Sorry, I am not leaving
you alone your first day.
201
00:07:49,194 --> 00:07:50,360
Yes, you are.
202
00:07:50,362 --> 00:07:52,862
For someone going into college,
203
00:07:52,864 --> 00:07:54,864
you are acting very childish.
204
00:07:54,866 --> 00:07:56,266
Maybe it just appears that way
205
00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:58,001
because you see me with my mommy.
206
00:07:58,003 --> 00:07:59,928
Oh...
207
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,839
Boy, I remember putting one
of these together for Georgie.
208
00:08:03,842 --> 00:08:06,109
It is great having y'all next door.
209
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,878
Did you not hear me yelling
at Georgie last night?
210
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,114
It's okay. I'm sure
you'll hear our little one
211
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,249
crying soon enough.
212
00:08:12,251 --> 00:08:14,651
Missy was a crier.
213
00:08:14,653 --> 00:08:16,581
Sheldon just learned to talk and said,
214
00:08:16,584 --> 00:08:18,555
"Father, I have soiled myself."
215
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:21,391
Well, he's a miracle in his own way.
216
00:08:21,393 --> 00:08:24,261
Oh, you just put a positive
spin on everything, don't you?
217
00:08:24,263 --> 00:08:26,830
Kind of goes with the pastor territory.
218
00:08:26,832 --> 00:08:28,531
Okay.
219
00:08:28,533 --> 00:08:30,175
What if I said
220
00:08:30,178 --> 00:08:31,635
Mary and I have not had
221
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:34,472
a real vacation since we had kids?
222
00:08:35,507 --> 00:08:37,374
I like to believe starting a family
223
00:08:37,376 --> 00:08:40,010
will be the most
rewarding adventure of all.
224
00:08:40,012 --> 00:08:43,313
You're good. (chuckles)
225
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:46,249
You could not be more
wrong, but you're good.
226
00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:48,873
("I'm Free" by The Soup Dragons playing)
227
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,354
♪ Freedom ♪
228
00:08:51,256 --> 00:08:53,456
♪ I'm free to do what I want... ♪
229
00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:56,126
Can you show me where the
used physics textbooks are?
230
00:08:56,128 --> 00:08:57,661
Follow me.
231
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,663
Normally I would prefer
a fresh new textbook,
232
00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:01,928
but my father is a high
school football coach.
233
00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:04,000
Which is another way
of saying we're poor.
234
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,576
Here you go.
235
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,675
♪ I say love me ♪
236
00:09:11,677 --> 00:09:14,451
- ♪ Hold me... ♪
- Who owned this, a werewolf?
237
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,246
WOMAN (over radio):
Let's talk about the weather.
238
00:09:16,248 --> 00:09:18,315
It's going to be a
beautiful sunny day today
239
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:20,331
with temps reaching a high of 97.
240
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:21,412
Gross.
241
00:09:21,415 --> 00:09:24,553
In other news, President Bush
will be traveling to Waxahachie
242
00:09:24,556 --> 00:09:27,090
later this month to visit the site
243
00:09:27,092 --> 00:09:29,025
of a new supercollider.
244
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,136
Scientists are hopeful this
will lead to exciting discoveries
245
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,030
in the world of part...
246
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,666
(knock on door)
247
00:09:36,568 --> 00:09:37,834
What?
248
00:09:37,836 --> 00:09:39,847
You said you'd show me
how to hot-roll my hair.
249
00:09:39,850 --> 00:09:42,472
Oh, right. You still want to do that?
250
00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:43,940
You're cranky.
251
00:09:43,942 --> 00:09:47,177
So maybe I shouldn't be putting
hot rollers on your head.
252
00:09:47,179 --> 00:09:50,147
Meh, you're always
cranky. Let's do this.
253
00:09:54,802 --> 00:09:56,836
SHELDON: Not so bad.
254
00:09:56,839 --> 00:09:59,474
I would have highlighted that.
255
00:10:00,661 --> 00:10:02,895
And someone drew genitals.
256
00:10:02,898 --> 00:10:05,299
(pop music playing
quietly over speakers)
257
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,000
Oh. Mrs. Cooper?
258
00:10:11,002 --> 00:10:13,470
Oh, hi.
259
00:10:13,472 --> 00:10:14,704
Sam.
260
00:10:14,706 --> 00:10:16,573
Yes, of course.
261
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:19,809
Oh, from, um, Sheldon's physics class.
262
00:10:19,811 --> 00:10:20,826
How are you?
263
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,545
Oh, I'm-I'm good. Yeah.
264
00:10:22,547 --> 00:10:24,214
What brings you here? (chuckles)
265
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:26,349
Sheldon's freshman orientation.
266
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:28,351
- Oh, sure.
- Mm-hmm.
267
00:10:28,353 --> 00:10:30,019
You didn't want to go with him?
268
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:32,489
I did, but, uh,
269
00:10:32,491 --> 00:10:34,891
he made it very clear
that he did not want me
270
00:10:34,893 --> 00:10:36,493
anywhere near him today.
271
00:10:36,495 --> 00:10:39,662
Well, I don't know Sheldon
well, but he can be a little...
272
00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:42,232
Rude, obnoxious, condescending?
273
00:10:42,234 --> 00:10:44,300
Oh, hey, I do know him. (laughs)
274
00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:45,468
(chuckles)
275
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,070
So are you just gonna sit here?
276
00:10:47,072 --> 00:10:50,273
Uh, well, just until it's
time to drive him home.
277
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,409
Well, I can show you around campus.
278
00:10:52,411 --> 00:10:54,511
- No, no, that's okay.
- Yeah, no.
279
00:10:54,513 --> 00:10:56,679
Come on. I'll buy you a school shirt.
280
00:10:56,681 --> 00:10:59,449
(chuckles): Oh, he would
be mortified to see me
281
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,984
wearing one of those.
282
00:11:00,986 --> 00:11:03,386
That's why I'm offering. Let's go.
283
00:11:03,388 --> 00:11:05,054
(chuckles): Well, yeah.
284
00:11:05,056 --> 00:11:06,457
(laughs)
285
00:11:08,894 --> 00:11:11,592
Wow, you're really
getting this together fast.
286
00:11:11,595 --> 00:11:13,862
- I feel like I'm not helping at all.
- Oh, come on now.
287
00:11:13,865 --> 00:11:16,466
You cut those oranges
into nice little wedges.
288
00:11:16,468 --> 00:11:18,301
I do it for the kids at Sunday school.
289
00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,171
They go to town on 'em.
290
00:11:22,707 --> 00:11:25,775
Did you feel ready
before Georgie was born?
291
00:11:25,777 --> 00:11:27,014
Absolutely.
292
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:28,885
Boy, was I wrong.
293
00:11:29,516 --> 00:11:31,147
Why? Getting nervous?
294
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:33,348
Well, if I can't get
a crib built on my own,
295
00:11:33,351 --> 00:11:35,418
how am I gonna be
responsible for a human life?
296
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:36,803
Ah, you'll figure it out.
297
00:11:36,806 --> 00:11:38,988
And no sense in worrying
about it 'cause you never know
298
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,024
what kind of curveballs
will come your way.
299
00:11:41,026 --> 00:11:42,631
- I guess that's true.
- Mm.
300
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,694
The doctors could tell
us we were having twins,
301
00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:46,896
but they couldn't warn us
we were having a Sheldon.
302
00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:49,232
- You don't think I'm gonna...?
- Oh, no.
303
00:11:49,234 --> 00:11:50,767
They broke the mold.
304
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:52,101
But...
305
00:11:52,103 --> 00:11:54,204
you could go the other
way and have a Georgie,
306
00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:57,674
so... some terror is called for.
307
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,410
♪ ♪
308
00:12:00,612 --> 00:12:02,670
(sighs) If you highlight everything,
309
00:12:02,673 --> 00:12:04,537
you highlight nothing.
310
00:12:04,540 --> 00:12:05,748
Uh-oh.
311
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,917
Young man, don't move these books.
312
00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:09,185
I have a system.
313
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,020
How's it look?
314
00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,289
Cute.
315
00:12:13,058 --> 00:12:14,190
Why are you here?
316
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,326
I ran into Sam.
317
00:12:16,328 --> 00:12:17,861
Yes, you're a person I know.
318
00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,630
Hey, aren't you supposed to
be getting your I.D. photo?
319
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:23,366
- I got a little waylaid.
- Can I help?
320
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,668
No, everything is
perfectly under control.
321
00:12:25,670 --> 00:12:28,538
And take off that sweatshirt.
You don't go to school here!
322
00:12:28,540 --> 00:12:29,873
See?
323
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,207
Worth every penny.
324
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:32,342
(chuckles)
325
00:12:32,344 --> 00:12:35,144
Stay calm. You can make it.
326
00:12:35,146 --> 00:12:36,547
Aah!
327
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:42,286
Honestly, who drinks a
Slurpee at 11:00 a.m.?
328
00:12:42,864 --> 00:12:44,531
Will this make me look older?
329
00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:45,754
Definitely.
330
00:12:45,757 --> 00:12:47,725
But not like you older, right?
331
00:12:48,303 --> 00:12:49,659
Right.
332
00:12:49,661 --> 00:12:52,195
You still dating that Marcus boy?
333
00:12:52,197 --> 00:12:53,459
Sort of.
334
00:12:53,462 --> 00:12:56,231
He went away with his
family for the summer.
335
00:12:57,165 --> 00:12:59,231
Just out of curiosity,
336
00:12:59,234 --> 00:13:01,902
before he left, did he let you know?
337
00:13:01,905 --> 00:13:03,106
Mm-hmm.
338
00:13:03,108 --> 00:13:04,974
Hmm, interesting.
339
00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:07,977
And how long before he
left did he tell you?
340
00:13:07,979 --> 00:13:09,279
I don't know, a week.
341
00:13:09,281 --> 00:13:11,247
Hmm, must be nice.
342
00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,249
You hear from him at all?
343
00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,385
Yeah, he sent me the cutest postcard.
344
00:13:15,387 --> 00:13:17,854
It was a turtle surfing on a dolphin.
345
00:13:17,856 --> 00:13:20,123
Adorable.
346
00:13:20,125 --> 00:13:22,259
Pulling kind of hard.
347
00:13:23,751 --> 00:13:25,562
I made it! I'm here! (panting)
348
00:13:25,564 --> 00:13:27,897
Fill this out and sign the...
349
00:13:27,899 --> 00:13:30,267
Um, there's a bee on you.
350
00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:32,134
What?
351
00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:34,837
Hey, Sam.
352
00:13:34,839 --> 00:13:36,353
Can I help y'all find anything?
353
00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:39,033
Oh, we're good. Just showing
my friend around campus.
354
00:13:39,036 --> 00:13:40,410
Oh, you a new student?
355
00:13:40,412 --> 00:13:43,413
- Oh, actually...
- Jason, this is Mary.
356
00:13:43,415 --> 00:13:45,111
Ah, well, hello, Mary.
357
00:13:45,114 --> 00:13:46,983
Allow me to welcome you to our school.
358
00:13:46,985 --> 00:13:49,419
- Thank you.
- Uh, you know, my dorm
359
00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:51,354
is doing a back-to-school
barbecue this afternoon.
360
00:13:51,356 --> 00:13:52,639
Y'all should swing by.
361
00:13:52,642 --> 00:13:53,890
Sounds fun.
362
00:13:53,892 --> 00:13:55,058
Cool.
363
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,360
Braden Hall, in the courtyard, 1:00.
364
00:13:57,362 --> 00:13:58,629
See you there.
365
00:13:59,431 --> 00:14:00,697
Sweet, free food.
366
00:14:00,699 --> 00:14:03,564
Who cares? He thought I was a student.
367
00:14:07,572 --> 00:14:09,639
Okay. Smile.
368
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,240
SHELDON: Just take the picture.
369
00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:12,610
(camera clicks)
370
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:19,786
ADULT SHELDON: I had
suffered some setbacks.
371
00:14:19,788 --> 00:14:22,289
But just as Edison had forged ahead
372
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:25,076
on electric lighting
without the help of Tesla,
373
00:14:25,079 --> 00:14:27,594
I was going to make
it through orientation
374
00:14:27,596 --> 00:14:29,696
without the help of my mommy,
375
00:14:29,698 --> 00:14:32,566
even if she did make
boo-boos stop hurting.
376
00:14:32,568 --> 00:14:35,769
While I had found inspiration
courtesy of Thomas Edison,
377
00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:40,274
it was soon replaced with anger
at Whitcomb L. Judson,
378
00:14:40,276 --> 00:14:41,873
inventor of the zipper.
379
00:14:41,876 --> 00:14:44,779
(scoffs) Oh, come on.
380
00:14:45,665 --> 00:14:47,614
What do you think?
381
00:14:47,616 --> 00:14:50,050
I think you're gonna be
a little heartbreaker.
382
00:14:50,052 --> 00:14:51,669
I don't want to break anyone's heart.
383
00:14:51,672 --> 00:14:53,187
I just want to look hot.
384
00:14:53,189 --> 00:14:54,579
Well, that you do.
385
00:14:54,582 --> 00:14:55,948
Thank you.
386
00:14:55,951 --> 00:14:59,292
And there's nothing wrong
with breaking some hearts.
387
00:14:59,295 --> 00:15:02,930
If you don't do it to them,
they're gonna do it to you.
388
00:15:02,932 --> 00:15:04,998
- Why would they do that?
- Because sometimes
389
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,801
men do things without thinking
how it's gonna make you feel.
390
00:15:07,803 --> 00:15:10,270
Marcus wouldn't do that. We're friends.
391
00:15:10,272 --> 00:15:12,105
That don't mean nothing.
392
00:15:12,107 --> 00:15:14,599
You think somebody's your friend,
393
00:15:14,602 --> 00:15:18,011
then they just up and
leave without a word.
394
00:15:18,013 --> 00:15:19,514
But Marcus told me.
395
00:15:20,516 --> 00:15:22,249
(mocking): But Marcus told me.
396
00:15:22,251 --> 00:15:23,571
("Batman Theme" playing)
397
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,417
ADULT SHELDON: Like Batman's utility belt,
398
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:29,088
my briefcase was equipped
for any emergency.
399
00:15:29,091 --> 00:15:30,891
♪ Batman... ♪
400
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:32,693
I don't know if the
Bat-pants had a zipper,
401
00:15:32,695 --> 00:15:35,295
but if they did, I could fix it.
402
00:15:35,297 --> 00:15:37,165
♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba... ♪
403
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:40,535
- Oh, dear.
- ♪ Batman! ♪
404
00:15:42,238 --> 00:15:43,503
Two months!
405
00:15:43,505 --> 00:15:45,339
Two months till this baby comes!
406
00:15:45,341 --> 00:15:47,696
There's so much I thought
I was gonna do in my life.
407
00:15:47,699 --> 00:15:49,256
I'm sure you've done plenty.
408
00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:50,425
Nothing cool.
409
00:15:50,428 --> 00:15:51,485
Look at you.
410
00:15:51,488 --> 00:15:53,775
You played football
and rode a motorcycle.
411
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:56,179
Well, you save people's souls.
412
00:15:56,182 --> 00:15:57,321
That's neat, right?
413
00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,021
Oh, it's neat as neat
can be, but you know
414
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,520
that's not what I'm talking about.
415
00:16:00,522 --> 00:16:02,122
(sighs)
416
00:16:02,124 --> 00:16:05,451
Look, being a dad doesn't
mean your life is over.
417
00:16:05,454 --> 00:16:07,127
It just means it's different.
418
00:16:07,129 --> 00:16:09,896
Instead of playing football,
I get to coach it now.
419
00:16:09,898 --> 00:16:11,821
I mean, high school football.
420
00:16:11,824 --> 00:16:14,391
Not college like I'd hoped.
421
00:16:14,394 --> 00:16:18,763
I-Instead of a motorcycle,
I drive a truck.
422
00:16:18,766 --> 00:16:21,834
To work every single day.
423
00:16:21,837 --> 00:16:23,577
To pay the bills.
424
00:16:23,579 --> 00:16:25,412
(sighs): Oh.
425
00:16:25,414 --> 00:16:27,881
Endless bills.
426
00:16:27,883 --> 00:16:30,084
What happened to my life?
427
00:16:31,654 --> 00:16:33,688
Orange wedge?
428
00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,187
ADULT SHELDON: With only seven minutes
429
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:38,457
until my freshman orientation seminar,
430
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:40,160
I was in a sticky spot.
431
00:16:40,162 --> 00:16:44,599
Thankfully, I was armed with
an even stickier solution.
432
00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:48,002
♪ ♪
433
00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,640
Ah, you made it!
434
00:16:53,642 --> 00:16:54,975
- Hey.
- Hi.
435
00:16:54,977 --> 00:16:55,776
Hey, guys,
436
00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:57,277
this is Sam and Mary.
437
00:16:57,279 --> 00:16:58,845
(crowd cheering, whooping)
438
00:16:58,847 --> 00:17:02,049
(chuckles): Well, aren't y'all friendly.
439
00:17:02,051 --> 00:17:04,451
DEAN: We are so excited
to have you here today.
440
00:17:04,453 --> 00:17:07,187
This is the most competitive
year we've had for admissions.
441
00:17:07,189 --> 00:17:10,190
So you should feel really good
about your accomplishments.
442
00:17:10,192 --> 00:17:12,726
- You belong to an elite group of scholars...
- (door bangs)
443
00:17:12,728 --> 00:17:14,962
(grunting)
444
00:17:17,399 --> 00:17:19,199
(door closes)
445
00:17:19,201 --> 00:17:21,401
I may not look it, but
I'm the future of physics,
446
00:17:21,404 --> 00:17:23,102
so just move on.
447
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,938
You have kids?
448
00:17:26,941 --> 00:17:28,141
Three.
449
00:17:28,143 --> 00:17:29,743
You look amazing!
450
00:17:29,745 --> 00:17:32,185
- Oh...
- Two of 'em are twins.
451
00:17:32,188 --> 00:17:35,415
I don't want to brag, but natural birth.
452
00:17:35,417 --> 00:17:36,817
Whoa.
453
00:17:36,819 --> 00:17:39,353
I love college.
454
00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:40,655
(laughs)
455
00:17:43,214 --> 00:17:45,454
(engine starts, revs)
456
00:17:50,494 --> 00:17:53,095
♪ ♪
457
00:17:57,434 --> 00:17:59,001
John.
458
00:18:07,048 --> 00:18:09,516
STURGIS: Dear Connie, you may have heard
459
00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:13,715
I've taken a job at the new
supercollider in Waxahachie.
460
00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:17,419
I wanted to tell you in person, but, uh,
461
00:18:17,421 --> 00:18:19,854
I was afraid you'd be upset.
462
00:18:19,856 --> 00:18:22,323
And, honestly...
463
00:18:22,325 --> 00:18:25,860
I was even more afraid you wouldn't be.
464
00:18:25,862 --> 00:18:27,796
Oh, John.
465
00:18:27,798 --> 00:18:31,696
STURGIS: This also gives me an
excuse to use my astronaut pen.
466
00:18:31,699 --> 00:18:35,170
I'm not upside-down, but if I was,
467
00:18:35,172 --> 00:18:37,906
it would still write. (laughs)
468
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:40,376
(motorcycle approaching)
469
00:18:41,711 --> 00:18:43,244
How you doing back there?
470
00:18:43,246 --> 00:18:45,947
I've never felt so alive!
471
00:18:45,949 --> 00:18:48,884
Praise the Lord!
472
00:18:51,206 --> 00:18:53,122
JEFF: Let's go to Mexico!
473
00:18:55,402 --> 00:19:00,808
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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