All language subtitles for Two.Smart.People.1946.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Fine art of cookery.

A lot of good recipes?

'Best in the world.'

You want this wrapped?

'Ah, no. Don't bother.'

'I like to have it handy to
browse through at odd moments.

'My fondest regards
to your dear wife. '

She will be young again
for a full hour.

Good night, friend.

Good night.

- Ace.
- Huh?

Take care of yourself, sir.

I'll try to.

Oh, yes, Mr. Connors.
Please, this way.

Excuse me.

- Has Mr. Chadwick arrived?
- Not yet.

- I'll bring him.
- Thank you.

Ah, good evening, Mr. Connors.

Hello, Fred.

Mm-hmm.

- Mm. Excellent, Fred.
- Thank you.

Except that it needs,
with your permission

just a touch of saffron.

Aha.

Ladies.

Isn't there some mistake?

'No, Mr. Connors.'

'The young lady asked
for your table.'

Oh, of course.
How stupid of me.

I didn't recognize you
in that new hairdo.

Naturally, since we've never met.

But I knew we'd meet somewhere
the moment I laid eyes on you.

Do you read tea leaves too?

I do much better with olives.

A dry martini, Sir?

- Two dry martinis.
- Yes, Sir.

I, uh, like this,
but I have a guest coming.

It might be embarrassing

if I had to introduce you
as darling.

What's your name?

Ricki Woodner.

Mr. Chadwick asked me
to meet him here.

Miss or Mrs. Woodner?

Miss.

Oh, "The Fine Art of Cookery."

Having servant trouble,
Mr. Connors?

No. Just a hobby of mine.

Do you happen to know
his recipe for ortolans?

Sauté a number of large plums.

On each plum, place an ortolan
wrapped in grape leaves.

Bake for five minutes and serve.

But the plums are
not to be eaten.

- They're merely served..
- As a garnish.

...for the ortolans.

What are you two talking about?

And what in the world
are ortolans?

Like turkeys.
Only this big.

Hello, Mr. Chadwick.

- Hello.
- Well, hello.

We've just discovered
we're soul mates.

Oh.

Dwight, who is this
wonderful Mr. Connors?

I didn't know he was a cook.
I thought he was an oil man.

Olive or banana?

- Lubricating.
- Ha-ha, ha-ha.

- Bring me scotch, will you?
- Yes, Sir.

Go ahead, Connors.
Tell her about the deal.

Why surely, you
wouldn't be interested?

Oh, but I would.

I have an option on eight miles
of quite beautiful swamps.

'Swamps?'

With millions of gallons of oil
just begging to be taken out.

Oil out of swamps? Wouldn't that
be a bit difficult?

Not at all. Same principle
as underseas drilling.

You sink a well here..

...drain the oil off
the property there.

Slant drilling.

Oh, sometimes called
crooked drilling.

Ha ha.

'My option expires in five days.'

I was fortunate enough to get

an advance copy of this
Petroline Incorporate report.

12,000 barrels a day, huh?

Well, that looks..

All you have to do is put up

some of your bonds as collateral
to make the option good.

'We stand to split a nice,
cool million in five days.'

Understanding, of course,
that I retain 51% interest.

Oh, definitely. Oh, that's
absolutely understood.

Well, it sounds like
a... very good deal to me.

Very good indeed.

We can talk more about it later.

Now, how about a little dinner?

But drilling for oil isn't such
a good deal though, is it?

- Have you heard of Rockefeller?
- Ha ha, yeah.

Yes, but I knew
my father a lot better.

He invested the family fortune
in a couple of wells.

Then, when he lost
the old homestead

we looked up the figures.

Would you believe it?

Eleven wild cat wells
out of twelve are failures.

Isn't that amazing?

I-I, um, are you certain of that?

Well, I ought to be.

My father wanted it engraved
on his tombstone

but we talked him out of it.

Eleven out of twelve?

- That's right.
- That's alright.

Well, ah, Connors, perhaps
on second thought

I should investigate this
a little more thoroughly, huh?

Why don't we just
forget it, Mr. Chadwick.

I don't mind keeping
it all to myself.

- About that dinner--
- Oh, now, wait a minute.

It still may be a good deal.

'Well, if you believe
in miracles..'

'No, I do not believe in miracles.'

Shall we just say that Dwight
here isn't the speculative type?

'Yes. Why don't we
say that, Connors?'

- 'And with no hard feelings.'
- Certainly not.

Shall we start with
a little asparagus bisque?

Oh, I'd love to, but I forgot.

I promised Ricki to drop by her
rooms and see some paintings.

Paintings?

But, of course, Miss Woodner,
you're an artist.

These are part of the collection
that belonged to my uncle.

As a matter of fact

they're smuggled in from Europe,
and I'm thinking of buying them.

By all means, let's stop
and see the paintings.

Oh, I don't think you'd be
very interested, Mr. Connors.

Oh, but I would, Miss Woodner.

Anything in oil.

'Mm-hmm.'

Mm-hmm.

Yes, sir.

N-now to me, that's a very
interesting composition.

Certainly is.

And the handsome figure
of a woman too.

My old sweetheart.

- Your what?
- Yes.

I visited her every afternoon
one spring in Paris.

- When she hung in the Louvre.
- Oh, she, ha ha, the Louvre.

The Louvre?

I thought you said
this came from Brussels.

Perhaps that was the year it was
loaned to the French gallery.

Very likely.

That's odd.

Oh, what's the matter?

Well, nothing.
I must be mistaken.

About what?

I always thought the artist,
Miranda, was left-handed.

These brush strokes
are from right to left.

They are?

But then, I've forgotten.

And after all, how many
artists are left-handed?

Ha ha. Well, I don't know.

Mr. Chadwick, Blue Dawn is one
of the world's real treasures.

Yes, and a darn good
investment too.

Oh, it's wonderful
when you're lucky enough

to get an authentic original.

Oh, yes. Well, a fellow's
gotta be pretty careful too.

Yes. Reproductions are
so clever these days

'even museums aren't sure
when they have the real thing.'

'I take Blue Dawn.'

How many know of the artist's
inscription on the back?

"To my beloved wife, Katushka."

- It has?
- Yes.

Well, I didn't know that.
Excuse me.

Hey, I don't see anything.
It isn't here.

Oh, it isn't?

Oh, just look
in the lower left-hand corner.

Oh, the lower left hand.

'Hey!'

There's nothing on the back
of this at all.

Why, this is just one
of those, those reproductions.

- But a very fine one.
- Oh, that isn't the point.

She was going to have..
Say, I bet all these are fakes.

At least, you haven't
bought them.

Well, I would've bought them
if you hadn't..

Thank you very much.

Young lady, I want you to know
that I could have you..

Oh, this is a lesson to me.

Oil paintings and..

...oil wells.
Thank you very much.

I think I'll stick to Magna Cola.

Young lady, misrepresentation
is a practice--

I'm sorry that
you're just leaving.

Yeah, well, I don't
feel very well.

- Ah, no dinner then?
- No. I have no appetite.

It's a practice that
shouldn't be practiced.

- Good night.
- And that goes for you too.

I know exactly how you feel.

How about dinner?

Thanks, but I seem to have
lost my appetite too.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well..

...goodbye.

Oh.

Fairfield, 82240.

Freddy.

Why didn't you tell me the artist

who painted Blue Dawn
was left-handed?

No. I'm not crazy.

Let me tell you just
how perfect it is.

Didn't you know it was supposed
to have an inscription

from the painter
to his beloved wife, Katushka?

Oh, he was?

And he never even had a wife?

Stick him up.

Aye. Oh, hi, Mr. Connors.
Telegram, sir.

- What does it say?
- Didn't you know? I can't read.

- For a higher education.
- Thank you, sir.

Come in, Fly.

Don't stand out there
in the draft.

'Come in. Close the door.'

Don't worry. It's the house
detective's night off.

Pretty nice layout
you've got here.

So glad you like it.
Won't you sit down?

No. Thank you.

'Do you want a drink?'

I want my share, Connors.

Half of 500 grand.

Let's understand this,
Mr. Feletti.

You had something on hook
that was too big to land

so you came to me and were happy
to sell out for $10,000

because to your
unimaginative little brain

the whole deal
wasn't worth more than 20.

- You don't have a cent coming.
- You've got a bad memory, Ace.

Not bad enough.
I can't seem to forget you.

You do forget.

I know people who are
interested in those bonds.

You wouldn't be thinking
of squealing, would you, Fly?

I might be.
It's up to you.

It's very unethical.
Get out.

'I'm not getting out,
and I'm not kidding.'

I don't doubt that you're
stupid enough to use that.

But may I point out that I'd be
of no possible good to you dead.

You can never get
the bonds then, Mr. Feletti.

Neither could you, Mr. Connors.

You have a point there.

Well.

Hello, Ace.

Hello, Bob.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't
know I was butting in.

Not at all, Mr. Feletti,
Mr. Simms.

- Mr. Simms' from New York.
- Hello.

Mr. Feletti was just
running along anyway.

Say, haven't we met
someplace before?

No, I don't think so.

Glad to know you.

I'll keep in touch
with you, Connors.

Sure. I'm always glad
to see an old friend.

Always.

- Drink?
- Ah, no, thanks.

Ha ha, sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.

Thanks.

Well..

...well, it's been
a long chase, Connors.

Mm-hmm, certainly has.

You had fun?

I know a lot of other ways
I'd rather spend my time.

Such as working on that place
in the country

you're always talking about.

Why is that every cop wants
to end up on a chicken farm?

Well, green things growing

shade, maybe
a fishing stream nearby.

Anyway, it won't be long now.

This will probably be
my last assignment.

As a matter of fact,
it may be mine.

Yes.

Well, you've had
a long run, Connors.

It's too bad you had to slip up.

Everybody has to slip up some
time, and that was a nice deal..

So I understand.
Where you got it, now?

Right in this room,
waiting for you to find it.

Hmm, I'll take a look around
after I've booked you.

I'm sorry, Bob.

But you're not booking me.

What's the stall, Connors?
It better be good.

There's no stall.

Pardon me.

'Western Union, please.'

Take a wire to J.D. Staunton
Republic Hotel, New York.

Deal entirely acceptable.

Will arrive on the 11th.

Regards.

Signed, Connors.

Thank you.

So you made a deal, ah?

Who wouldn't?

I'll get one to ten,
be out in five.

At which time, I should have
half a million dollars in bonds.

Which isn't a bad salary
even for selling mailbags.

No.

Now, $100,000 a year.

That's more than
a President gets.

Oh, I hadn't thought
of it that way.

Assuming that you
can hang on to the bonds.

Assuming that I have
them to hang on to.

Assuming that you do.

Won't the surety company
want their bonds back?

They can't hurt themselves. I'm
pleading guilty to taking them.

Not possessing them.

Hmm.

'Another?'

'Another.'

- Take it out of this.
- Yes, sir.

Thanks.

Hi, Ricki.

Long time, no see.

Just make yourself at home.

Thanks.

Glad to see you're doing okay.

You're looking well too,
prettier than ever.

You know, bumping into you like
this kinda gives me an idea.

I don't like it.

Whoever heard of
not liking $500,000?

Tsk-tsk-tsk.

Here you are, a connoisseur
in art, you might say.

And here I am, with a fortune.

In genuine US steel
engravings right in my lap.

Don't let me detain you.

I like to drink alone.

Those private Treasury notes
are right here in this hotel.

With one of the slickest
conmen in the business

operating as a Florida oil man.

500,000?

You could pick him up
by just lifting a finger.

You could twist him
around it like a pretzel.

He wouldn't have a chance.

And all you have
to do is find out

where he's keeping
the gold certificates.

What do you say, beautiful?

I'd say it's a very
wonderful bedtime story, Fly.

Good night.

Okay.

Hmm. Yeah. Sure.

Bye.

Well..

Well, looks like it's all
on the up and up.

I mustn't arrest you
unless I have to

because nobody wants
an extradition fight.

And yet, I'm responsible to see
that you don't change your mind.

If you don't show up in New York
by the 11th, I am the goat.

A policeman's lot
is not a happy one.

You know I never thought I'd
hear you talking seriously

about doing time.

Why not?

I've enjoyed you chasing me, Bob.

It's been fun

but I'm kinda tired.

This way I come out
with a clean slate.

Live like a king for as long
as my nest egg will last.

All I want to do now

is to go back
to New York my own way.

What way is that?

By way of El Paso.
For some Spanish food.

And even a little fun.

Then New Orleans.
Oysters Magnifico.

Shrimps at Antoine's.
Crayfish biscuit, Galatoires.

Mardi Gras, more fun.

After that, Sing Sing
can have me.

You expect me to let you
do all those things?

I don't see what choice you got.

Oh, is that so? You've got
a date in New York on the 11th.

That leaves you five short days.

I'll surrender to the DA
on the 11th as arranged.

Before that,
I'd like to have a whirl

I can remember
for five long years.

And I'm going to have it.

Yeah.

Tell you what.

- Why don't you come with me?
- You darn right I will.

No, no, no. Not that way.

Not like some weary old watchdog.

We've got five whole days.
Let's really enjoy ourselves.

This is my last fling.

You said it might be
your last assignment.

Why not give yourself
something to remember too?

Yeah. Come with me as my guest.

I'll pay all your expenses,
the best of everything.

We're traveling together for fun.

What do you say, Bob?

Ah, that's a very
handsome offer, Ace, but I..

Suppose you decide to lose me
somewhere along the line.

You know me enough to know
my word is as good as--

Good as your bond.

I warn you... if you did
try a fast one

I'd have to stop you, Ace.

Actually, Bob.
And if I have to be shot

I couldn't ask for it to be
done by a nicer guy.

How about it?
Is it a deal?

Hmm.

Yeah, I guess so.

Huh, I..

What's the matter?

- Well, I can't believe it.
- What?

Well, I'm starting
on a trip like this.

Then, you didn't
expect to have me along.

Oh, yeah. Well, I figured on
being the host, not the guest.

'All aboard.'

- 317. This is it.
- So glad to see you again.

Hi, Clarence.

- Right.
- Hi.

Here we are.

Gentlemen.

Leave that where I can get it.

- Yes, sir.
- And I'll take this.

Thank you, sir.

Wow, very comfortable.

Nothing but the best.

Uh-huh.

Uh, it locks.

You don't mind if we
leave it open though.

- Not in the daytime, but--
- But what?

Well, if you don't mind my
mentioning it, you do snore.

That's because
of that champagne..

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Oh, I--
- I-I'm terribly sorry.

- That's quite alright.
- I almost missed the train.

You wanna put those down

or shall I straighten
your hat for you.

Oh.

Why, Mr. Connors.

What are you doing here?

Well, if it comes to that,
what are you doing here?

Well, I'm going to New Orleans.

So am I.

Well, that's wonderful.

No, that's miraculous.

- Say, ah, excuse me?
- Oh.

While you two are talking

I'll take your bags to your room
if you'd give me the number.

- It's an upper.
- That's the best you could do?

Well, yes. It was such
short notice.

- I was lucky to get anything.
- That's too bad.

Wait a minute why couldn't we..

Oh, this is sort
of embarrassing, but--

Why?

Well, with Mr. Connors
having a drawing room

and me this compartment,
both of us with all that room

'this poor lady has
to sleep in an upper.'

'Doesn't seems right.'

Oh, I don't mind.

Oh, but we do. We do.

I think we ought
to do something about it.

- Don't you, Ace?
- Me?

'After all, can see that you
and the young lady are friends.'

Oh, ah, Mr. Simms, Miss Woodner.

We've met.

Yes, we have.

Well, I'm perfectly willing
to let you have my compartment.

That is, of course,
if you don't mind

my doubling up with you, Ace.

Oh, I-I couldn't.

Oh, but you must.
I insist.

We'll let you take over now.

We'll place you
with a conductor later.

- Well, I--
- No arguments.

- It's all arranged.
- Oh.

- We insist.
- Sure.

- Oh, that's very nice of you.
- Oh no..

Thank you very much,
I had no idea.

We are all happy now.
You ought to be very happy.

Ah..

And what about dinner?

Alright.

Got your appetite back?

I'm starved.

So am I.

Well, Ace, I've got
to hand it to you.

I've never had food and service
like this on any train.

It's magic, I haven't tasted
as good Canard Sauvage.

- Is that what it's called?
- One of Savarin's best.

Ah, it's awful good.

Crème de menthe?
Cointreau? Brandy?

Well, I'll have some
of the brandy.

- Me too.
- Brandy.

- Oh, this is too much.
- Ha ha.

- That is quite a valise.
- My own design.

- It is?
- Mm-hmm.

Seems to have everything.

Almost everything.

Oh, thanks.

Well, here's to crime.

To crime.

Oh, to... yeah, to crime.

What business are you in,
Mr. Simms?

Call him Bob.

Bob.

Oh, I dabble in a lot of things.

Right now, his main interest
is in bonds.

- Oh, what kind of bonds?
- Government bonds mostly.

Nothing quite like the Missouris.

That's right.

- More brandy?
- Mm-mm.

No, I'm full up.

Well, I hope you two
don't mind if I collapse.

Not at all,
make yourself comfortable.

Ricki and I are going for a walk.

Won't you come along, Bob?

Yes, why don't you?

There is a new moon tonight, Bob.

- I'll make a wish for you.
- Don't bother.

I will then.

Your Mr. Simms is very charming.

Yes, isn't he?

Could it be that you gentlemen
are in some big deal together?

Quite a deal.

Oh.

Thank you.

I suppose he has
quite a bit of money.

Not as much as he'd like to have.

And he cares nothing about art.

By the way, where did you
get that name Katushka?

I had an aunt.

Aunt Katushka?

No, her cook.

She was divine. You should've
tasted her apple stew.

- With cinnamon?
- Yeah, cinnamon.

No, nutmeg.

Alright, nutmeg.

Quite a coincidence we should
both be on the same train.

Not so strange. Remember your
friend, Pete, the bell boy?

The boy who couldn't read.

He could read very well
upside down for five dollars.

That's how you
got my reservation.

At the risk of being
considered immodest

would you mind
telling me why you came?

Can't you guess?

I haven't stopped since
you got on the train.

Our friend, Mr. Chadwick,
behaved very badly.

Well, then, the trip
isn't purely pleasure?

Not entirely.

You and I have a lot in common.

Larceny.

Two minds that work as much
alike as ours belong together.

Instead of outsmarting each other
we should combine our talents.

A merger?

- Strictly business.
- Strictly business.

'Hello.'

Did you make that wish for me?

- I forgot.
- I didn't.

- Well, goodnight.
- Goodnight.

'Goodnight.'

Say, you know something?
This book's a gold mine.

Do you know that nine
outta ten dishes in here

are made with either
chicken or eggs?

That's amazing, isn't it?

Listen, chicken breaded, chicken
broth, chicken with truffles

chicken casserole, chicken
cutlet, chicken fricassee

chicken grenadine.

Chicken grilled, chicken
supreme, chicken timbales.

Chicken a la reine.
It's roast.

Chicken bou-din..

chicken bodanza..

- Well, hello.
- Good morning.

'You finally woke up.'

You may not know,
but there are 375 ways

of preparing chicken and eggs.

I had to listen
to everyone of them.

Where is our nice Mr. Simms now?

Well, he couldn't wait either.

It seems this was the only time
the barber could take him.

- Behold.
- Truffles.

Always better than mushrooms.

They might have had foie gras

how did you know
they'd have truffles?

I was sure they wouldn't,
so I brought some with me.

Oh, a man who carries
his own truffles.

There is something else
in there. What is it?

An improvement of my own.

Hmmm. What?

The barest drop of Madeira.

- Oh.
- Next time, you'll wait.

Next time, I shall.

I... there'll be a stop soon.
I wanna get my coat.

Why not tell the truth?

- What do you mean?
- I'm breaking your heart.

Oh, yeah... completely shattered.

- See you later.
- Mm-hmm.

Looking for something, Mr. Simms?

Yes, Ace said that
he had some aspirins

but he forgot to say where.

Here.

Thanks.

Got a headache?

Well, it's probably
a little eye strain.

That's too bad.

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

That'll do it.
Ace left his suitcase open.

It isn't like him
to be so thoughtless.

We'll have to speak
to him about that.

- I much rather you wouldn't.
- Why not?

Well, he might not like
my looking through his things.

Well, I thought you
were old friends.

Oh, yes, we are, but he might
think I was taking a look.

I don't quite
follow you, Mr. Simms.

And I'll certainly tell him
anything I like.

Oh, then, I'm afraid
I'll have to insist.

- Insist?
- Yes.

You see, I'm with
the New York Police.

Oh.

Not a big bond man, huh?

Well, yes, after a fashion.

You see, I get most
of the big bond swindlers.

I'm sorry to have
to tell you this.

You're friend is one
of the biggest operators

we've ever been after.

Does he know you're a detective?

Oh, yes.

But he's going back willingly

so I promised to make the trip
as pleasant as possible.

Back?

Sing Sing.

- Could I have one of those?
- Oh, yeah, sure. I'm sorry.

For long?

Five years, more or less.

What were you looking
for in his luggage?

I was looking for the proceeds
of his last job.

You see, we've got Connors, but
we still haven't got the bonds.

So the bonds aren't here?

Well, if they are, I'll eat 'em.

That must be quite
a disappointment to you.

No, only for the moment.

You sound very sure of yourself.

Not so sure of myself
as I am of Connors.

Ace and I have been
playing hide and seek

for quite a while now.

It's given me a chance to know
exactly what makes him tick.

Ace uses poise
like some men would a gun.

It's his weapon or his shield.

He's made an art outta working it

to the other fellows'
disadvantage.

But you let him lose that poise
even for a moment

and his whole defense
is shattered.

Now, I have four days
and nearly 3000 miles yet.

I'll wait my chance.

You won't mind
if I don't wish you luck?

Of course not.

So you haven't..

What?

'No, it was nothing.'

What?

I hope you're not getting
to like him too much.

No, how could I?

I've only known him
a couple of days.

'Hmm. He's an awfully
easy guy to fall for.'

Yes.

Well, you're getting off
at New Orleans

day after tomorrow
anyway, aren't you?

That's right.

How about that walk
you didn't take last night?

Hmm, I'd like to.

I'll get my coat.

Here.

- Well, hi, Ace.
- Hello, kids.

How about a little stroll?
You don't mind, do you?

Oh, of course not.

Little exercise will do me good.

It's a beautiful day, isn't it?

Yes, so full of air.

Wonderful country.

So much of it.

Let's look at the pretty
pottery and bead work.

Can I interest you
in some souvenirs?

Silver bracelet, perhaps?

Ah, no, thanks.
I never wear them.

They give me claustrophobia.

Ah, me too.

I'm gonna send a post card.

Ricki?

Ah, we get into New Orleans
Monday, don't we?

Yes.

Why? Are you in a hurry
to get to the end of the line?

To tell you the truth... no.

- Ricki--
- Oh, aren't these cute?

No trip complete without
a souvenir of Arizona, madam.

Allow me.

Thank you, Ace.
It's darling.

'All aboard.'

- Bob.
- Yeah, mail that, will ya?

Thank you.

Ricki, could you afford
24 hours in El Paso?

I don't know.
What would I do with them?

Spend a day that
you'll never forget.

- That's all?
- That's a lot.

A day to remember
for the rest of our lives.

- Are you considering it?
- I'm considering Ricki.

What do you mean?

I'm just considering
what happens to Ricki

after that beautiful day.

There isn't any "after"
for people like us, Ricki.

We're a special kind of breed.

We were born
when the clock stopped.

No yesterdays, no tomorrows.

"Make hay while the sun shines,"
as your aunt would say, huh?

What's happened to you?

When you followed me on this
train, easy come-easy go like

and I asked you the reason,
you gave me a very good one.

We both have larceny in common.

- We still have.
- Good.

I'd be embarrassed to find
that you're an honest woman.

I'm embarrassed
to find I'm a woman.

I don't wanna bother
you, Mr. Connors, but..

...something new has been added.

Why, Miss Woodner... I'm sure
it's just a passing fancy.

It could be.

Ricki, look, there's a place
I found once years ago

an old Spanish inn.

Like something
out of a fairy tale.

Palm trees, walls dripping
with bougainvillea

patios with fountains
and humming birds

and a name to make poems out of.

The Inn of the Four Winds.

What do you say, Ricki?

You're very dangerous
for me, Mr. Connors.

To the Inn of the Four Winds?

Pretty sure you can just walk
away from this, aren't you?

- You might change too.
- To the Inn of the Four Winds?

If I had any sense,
I'd get out now.

You can take it. Or not.
It's up to you.

But I've got a hunch
you will take it.

Listen, wiseguy.

I'll take it.

See what I mean?

Oh, yes, Ace.
It's lovely.

Senor Ace, you did come back.

I said I would.
How are you, Jose?

Gracias, fine. Ynez Maria's
expecting you.

And with such expectation.
You have come to stay this time?

Until tomorrow anyway. Will you
help with the luggage, Jose?

It's a pleasure, senor.

- Senor Ace.
- Senora Maria.

Senorita Woodner, Senor Simms,
this is Senora Maria.

The loveliest lady
south of the border.

One of my first sweethearts.

How do you do?

Any friends of Senor Ace
are welcome here.

- Welcome to Mexico.
- Thank you.

Wait a minute.
What is this?

Welcome to Mexico.

You mean to say we've
crossed the border.

Of course, when we came over
the bridge. Didn't you notice?

Perhaps, he was too interested
in that story you were telling.

Ah, yes.

Where do we stand right now, Ace?

- Where do we stand?
- Yeah.

At the Inn of the Four Winds
cleaning up for dinner.

- In Mexico.
- Mm-hmm.

Would you hand me one
of those towels please, Bob?

I didn't know that Mexico was
on our schedule of stopovers.

Well, uh, that was a surprise.

You weren't deliberately
distracting me

when we crossed that
bridge, were you?

Oh, but definitely.

What about that deal we made
before we left California?

- The deal?
- Yes.

Oh, yes, I remember.

So I take it now
that I'm the goat?

And all bets are off, huh?

Well, congratulations, Ace. You
ought to be proud of yourself.

I don't think I get you, Bob.

Well, then, I'll make it clear.

I never had you pegged
as a double-crosser.

But you're at the head
of the class.

This is way over my head.

As far as I'm concerned,
we're in Mexico for a good time.

Think you're the goat?
Why don't you come here?

I can have Jose
bring you a knife.

If you think you're gonna
make a getaway from here..

...don't forget, I can still
have the Mexican authorities

pick you up and hold you
for extradition.

- But you won't.
- I wouldn't bet on that.

I'm betting.

In the first place, they'll take
a long time to extradite me

if I wanted to be
difficult about it.

Second place, it'll be curtains
for you and your pension.

If you had to go crying to New
York and say "He lured me over

the border when I wasn't
looking," they would fire you

so fast, you'd think
you've come out of a gun.

So until you're quite sure
that I'm going to make a break

you won't do a thing.

You know, uh, Mexicans are
kind of fussy

about foreigners flashing
artillery without a license.

Just try and keep this
out of sight

or I might have to bail you
out of the local hooska.

- Ricki.
- 'Hello out there.'

- How you doing?
- 'Fine.'

'I'll be with you in a second.'

'Hello.'

You're beautiful, Ricki.

Ace.

"Listen"

"I looked for a rose
and found a garden"

"I looked for adventure
and found love"

I don't want
to shock you, Mr. Connors.

But you have changed.

It's the song.
That's it.

- Something new in you.
- Uh-uh, in you.

- Still no tomorrows, Ricki.
- Why not?

We'd be good for each other
with larceny.

That would be easy.
I'll admit that.

But the joke will be on you.

- I can take a joke.
- This one wouldn't be funny.

Look, Ricki.

By instinct, by training,
I believe in flying.

Whoever wants
to fly with me, fine.

My philosophy is
to get away fast and clean.

Maybe that's because
I never ran into you.

What you're doing is shaking
that philosophy and this happens

to be a particularly bad time
for me to discard my ideas.

Would you care to tell me
why particularly?

I've trusted my life
to no one but myself.

Trust it to me, Ace.

If it could be to anyone,
it will be to you.

Right now, I want to kiss you.

Ace.

Ace. We know each other
pretty well, don't we?

Yes.

'Almost everything
about each other.'

Yes.

- No illusions.
- Many.

Thanks.

But your reason
for asking me here.

My reason for coming...
weren't very important.

'Maybe tomorrow, tonight
won't seem important.'

But, Ace, we were pretty
nice people tonight.

For all the larceny that's in us.

Are you very good
at wishing, my darling?

Yes, I think so.

If it's something
you wanted very much.

Then, wish that someday
we'll come back here.

I did... quite a while ago.

Goodnight, my darling.

Goodnight.

Hi, Ricki.

You looked very pretty out there.

Now, don't say a word.

I know. The guy
left town in a hurry.

You were lucky enough
to find out where he was going.

'You didn't have time
to let me know'

'but you were going
to drop me a postcard.'

How did you find out
where we were going?

Check up.
I always check up.

Especially on dames.

I almost lost you
in El Paso, but here I am.

I see. Nice work.

Not as nice as yours.
I saw you out on the balcony.

I liked the way you put
your heart into it.

Fly. Do one nice thing
in your life.

Leave us alone.

I like that fella.

Well, Ricki Woodner, gone soft.

Now, who'd believe that.
Snap out of it beautiful.

Get that Mexican moonlight
out of your eyes.

How long do you think that guy
would be on the level with ya?

Connors, hasn't got
the bonds on him.

You don't say.

I made a mistake about you.
You're not so smart after all.

Connors has got
the bonds with him.

He took them out
of a safety deposit box

the day before he left.

It would be very foolish of you
to try to double-cross me again.

Oh-oh, I forgot to tell you.

I ran into a friend
of yours the other day.

A fellow from Hot Springs.

He tells me they're anxious
to see you back there

about that hotel job.

It seems you left town before
you did a little time for them.

They asked me to let them know
if I... ever ran across you.

But you haven't got
a thing to worry about.

As long as we're partners
like I said.

And if you ever do get
into any trouble, beautiful..

...I'll be around.

Senora. I'm in trouble.

You're in love.

What can I do, my friend?

Two things.

I've changed my plans. I want
to stay here for a few days.

Of course, but Senor Simms?

I thought you were
in a hurry to New York.

He will get there
when I'm good and ready.

Si.

One other thing, Senora.

You wish to leave her with me.

Take care of her.

Hello?

- Senor--
- 'Good morning.'

Good morning, good morning.
It's really a beautiful morning.

Oh, I beg your pardon.
This is Senor Rodriquez.

Mr. Connors.

I'm most glad to meet you,
Senor Connors.

Oh, glad to meet you.

Oh, churros and chocolate.

Yes, Jose was just
bringing them up.

Oh, thank you very much.

Oh, Senor Rodriquez,
is uh... uh, connected

with the Department
of Animal Husbandry.

Oh, something
to do with horse-racing?

Only remotely.

- May I?
- Of course.

Uh, Senor Simms, informed
me of your predicament.

- I came at once, of course.
- Yeah, of course.

Uh, won't you be
seated, gentlemen?

Gracias, Senor.
For me, no. I stand.

- Oh. Well, may I?
- Of course.

As I was saying,
a friend of Senor Simms..

...is a friend of mine.

Of course.

And a friend of mine shall not
spend 30 days in quarantine

if I, Angelo Danilo Rodriquez,
can help it.

And fortunately... I can.

If, uh, I'm not being
crude about it.

Could I know what
the predicament is

and what your friend
of Mr. Simms is involved?

Of course. Article six,
rule 20, page 77.

Fruit, plant, vegetable..

Perhaps I'm a bit dense but..

Shall bring no fruit,
plants, vegetable

without proper inspection
across the border.

Well, yes, but..

Trufells.

Truefells?

Truffles.

Si, trufells.

Only because of my friendship
for Senor Simms

and the great urgency
of his friend

to be in New York,
an exception is being made.

'Senor Connors,
my car is outside.'

'I'll accompany you
to the bridge myself.'

'Just to make sure that
there are no difficulties'

about your being permitted
to leave the country at once.

You're very kind, Senor.

I'll think it over.

On the other hand, gentlemen.
Why not leave now?

There's nothing here to keep me.

Well, it's beginning to be
about time for lunch, eh?

Does that everyday.

After all, this is gonna be
kind of tough

gettin' back
to hamburgers and hash.

Certainly is.

When do we reach New Orleans?

Tomorrow.

- Excuse me.
- Yeah.

- Hello, Ace.
- Hello, Ricki.

My aunt said it isn't
etiquette for a lady

to leave her shoes
in a gentleman's suitcase.

The aunt with a cook
named Katushka.

You cheated.

- So did you.
- How?

By not telling me you're
on your way to Sing Sing.

How did you know?

Simms.

Well, that was friendly of him.

He couldn't help himself.

I caught him going
through your bag.

Seems he was looking
for some bonds.

You had the same idea.

Yes.

And where did you think,
you'd find them?

I thought you'd tell me.

- Do you still want the bonds?
- Do you still have them?

And if I did, how would
you expect to get them?

I don't know, yet.

Two smart people.

Well, anyway, we handed
each other a lot of laughs.

To be honest, that's
what I was lookin' for.

Only now, I..

'Now what?'

Now, I don't feel like laughing.

- That's funny.
- 'What?'

Neither do I.

There's only tomorrow.
Then you're goin' to New York.

And you?

It's etiquette to leave
when the party is over.

I had an aunt who said that.

I've come to a conclusion
about our aunts.

What's that?

They're are a couple
of old fuddy-duddies

who've never made distinction
between theory and practice.

They never heard of, um..

...Mardi Gras.

'Lift me up.'

Hello?

- Hello?
- Hello?

Excuse me, I was
watching the parade.

Mademoiselle. Gentlemen.

We want clothes.
Fantastic, fabulous clothes.

I have very little left now.

Ricki.

This was made for you.

Oh, it's lovely.

Oh, but... it is not for sale.

Oh.

- Not for anything.
- Oh, no, monsieur.

There is no price.

I..

That was my wife's.

Our only Mardi Gras together.

Oh.

Oh, I understand.

Come with me.

Ready, monsieur.

Oh! Ha ha ha.

♪ Fifteen men
on the dead man's chest ♪

♪ Oh ho ho. ♪

♪ And a bottle of rum ♪

♪ Drink and the devil
had done with the rest ♪

♪ Yo ho ho ♪

♪ And a bottle of rum ♪

Mind your own business.

Ricki.

♪ Fifteen men
on the dead man's chest ♪

♪ Yo ho ho ♪

♪ And a bottle of rum ♪

♪ Drink and the devil
had done for the rest ♪

♪ Yo ho ho ♪

♪ And a bottle of rum ♪

'Hey, I can't get into
any of these clothes.'

Oh.

Try these for size.

♪ Yo ho ho ♪

♪ And a bottle of rum ♪

Monsieur.

Monsieur. You take care of these
for me. I'll pick 'em up later.

Of course, Monsieur.

The final touch.

♪ Yo ho and a bottle of rum ♪

Now, uh..

- I understand.
- You see..

- Yes.
- Thank you very much.

And now..

Mademoiselle.

Lovely lady garmented in light
from her own beauty.

Thank you, again.

Hey, Ace.

- Hey.
- Oh, monsieur looks fine.

Yeah? Not bad as bad, isn't it?

Is the tie alright?

Allow me to.

♪ Yo ho ho ♪

Hey, where are the others?

- They've already left.
- They left?

Well, monsieur, the gentleman
said that

he would see you
at Andre's for dinner.

- Andre's for dinner.
- Yes, monsieur.

Alright, thanks very much.

Oh, say, how are they dressed?

As a pirate and a princess.

Princess and a pirate, eh?

Well, was it worth it?

I've never been so happy.

How did you ever find
anything like this?

I know you arranged it.
You're so modest.

But so fast,
with that magic wand.

Oh, Monsieur Connors.

Everything is ready,
just as you ordered.

Then, let's have it.
Champagne right away.

Well, well. The princess
and the pirate.

You thought you'd get away..

Something you want, Bub?

- Oh. Yeah, you got the time?
- No, I haven't.

I'm late. Then I'm sorry.
I've gotta... pardon me, will ya?

Why can't this go on forever?

Because that would be
a contradiction in terms.

You know what the word
"carnival" means?

Fun, I suppose. Everybody
having a good time.

Yes but only because the good
times are coming to an end.

In Latin, it's "carnivale."

It means "farewell to the flesh."

That'll teach you
to have a college education.

It's a very old idea.
There's a Mohammedan saying.

"Paradise is under
the shadow of the sword."

None of this would have
any meaning unless

it was defying a time limit.

Is that the meaning
of Mardi Gras?

Mardi Gras is only
Shrove Tuesday.

After that comes Ash Wednesday.
The beginning of Lent.

Tomorrow, this goes to ashes.
The fasting and... repentance.

Let us here drink and be merry.
Tomorrow we die.

This isn't tomorrow.

No. It isn't.

- Monsieur?
- Do you know Mr.Connors?

Mr. Connors. Of course monsieur.
There is a reservation.

Mr.Connors made all arrangements.

The dinner is ordered.
Entrée's superb.

- This table's only for one.
- Yes, monsieur.

He said he'll join you
for a midnight toast.

- Midnight toast?
- Yes, monsieur.

Ah, shall I start
with hors oeuvre?

No, uh. You just hold the table.
I-I'm goin' for a little walk.

Yes, monsieur.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

'It's a few minutes of 12.'

'And the masks come off
and it's all over.'

'Our masks are off now.'

Two sharp people.

Always ahead of everyone.

Ace, you're not going
through with this.

Why not? I've made a deal.
It's a good one.

I don't wanna be fighting
and hiding all my life.

Why not get away? You don't have
to stay here and take any rap.

I know a place to go.

- Where?
- In South America.

I was gonna go there myself
if I'd been successful

with Chadwick or if I'd
got those bonds from you.

There's a ship in the harbor now.

- Now?
- Skipper's an old friend.

I heard from him
just before we left.

I was goin' to catch him
on his next trip.

But we don't have
to wait for that.

We?

That is, if you
still aren't laughing.

Would you like to spend your
life somewhere in South America?

With you, I wouldn't mind a bit.

I could be tired of hiding
and running away too.

Even I could know
when I found what I want.

You don't pick your
friends very well.

Neither do you.

If I'm a liability,
I'll stay behind.

But I'd still want you to go.

- When does the ship leave?
- Ace! In two hours.

- We're going, both of us.
- Oh, you do mean it then?

Of course. You go ahead,
make arrangements.

It leaves from
the Afelia Street wharf.

I've got to make
some arrangements too.

What?

- Well, sit down, Ricki.
- What?

The bonds.

We're gonna let Simms
take them back with him.

- What?
- Ah ah ah.

Ace, are you crazy?
A half-million dollars?

It'll be weeks before
Simms finds out about us.

Weeks aren't enough.

Someday, it'll be another Simms.

If I take you
to the top of a mountain

I won't want to leave
'cause Simms is close.

I want to leave because

I'll think of a more
wonderful place to take you.

I can't afford any
time for running.

I want to give all my time to Ricki.

It's nearly twelve.

I want you in my arms for that.

- Ace, those bonds!
- Ah ah ah.

You think you can
dodge Simms for an hour?

You bet I can.

- Where did you hide them?
- That's very simple.

You take two very large plums.
Place an ortolan on each.

- No!
- Yes.

- The cookbook.
- Uh-huh.

Why didn't I think of that?

Once or twice, I thought you had.

'Now, we light 'em up.'

'Ready? One, two, three.'

What's your hurry, princess?

You getting on a boat
with your boyfriend?

- Mr. Connors won't live long.
- You're not very bright.

I only did so he'd tell me
where the bonds are.

- Did he tell you?
- Yes.

Good thing. That man
from Hot Springs is here.

- Is our deal still 50-50?
- Now, you're getting smarter.

Ricki? Ricki?

Ricki.

- Oh.
- Wish I were Ricki, pirate.

Rick..

Well, did the lady
come back here?

No, monsieur.

Hello, pirate.

I told you you could twist him

around your finger
like a pretzel.

He was easy.

I'll change my things,
then we go to the hotel

and get the bonds.

Excuse me, please.

Sure.

Hey, beautiful, are you ready?

You ready, beautiful?

Hey, Ricki!

Monsieur!

Monsieur. Monsieur!

Oh, hello, Ace.

Kind of forgot our
midnight toast, didn't you?

Had me worried for a while.

Then, I remembered where
you left your clothes.

I figured you couldn't get
very far in that outfit.

Where's the princess?
Isn't she with you?

Why don't you shut up?

So the honeymoon's over, eh?

Well, we'll be on our way to
New York in the morning anyway.

'I won't.'

- You're crazy?
- Maybe.

As you said just now,
the honeymoon's over.

- I'm not going back with you.
- No?

No, something more
important's come up.

And I gotta get going
pretty quick to get it done.

You can't get
away with this, Ace.

Get back, you won't get
hurt if you behave.

- Give me my gun.
- Don't be a fool.

This means just as much
to me as it does to you.

I'm gonna take you back with me
or get carried out myself.

Don't try it, Bob!
You haven't a chance.

Maybe not.

Don't come any closer.

Okay, Ace, drop it.

Get your hands up, both of you.

Get over there.

Now, I'm sure I've met you
some place before.

Could be.

His name is Feletti. He wants
grow up to be a bond hijacker.

There's one lot of bonds I want.
Where are they?

- You wanna know?
- I'm asking you.

You mean our girlfriend
stood you up?

Skip the comedy, Ace.

I want those bonds now.

You're still playing
way over your head, Fly.

If I don't get those bonds,
you'll never live to use them.

This man's my prisoner, Feletti.

You're gonna have him
when I'm through. In a coffin!

'He's no good to me that way.'

'Don't get ambitious, copper.'

Don't try anything, Bob.
He isn't kidding.

Hold it!

Where are the bonds?

- I haven't got them.
- Get 'em.

You were in a hurry to go
someplace when I came in.

I'll keep you company.
Get going.

Don't Ace. Don't try it.

Wow! Oh! Alright.
Go ahead.

I didn't shoot to miss, Ace.

Get going.

I don't know whether I'd rather
have those bonds or kill you.

Ace!

Duck, Ace.

Okay, Ace. Put 'em on.

I got five bullets left in this.

Told you, I had something
more important to do.

Okay, Bob. I guess
it doesn't matter now.

Let's go.

'Hello.'

What happened to you, Ricki?
You missed a lot of fun.

Yes, I know. I read about it.

- How are you, Bob?
- Oh, I'm alright, thanks.

I think you wanted Bob
to have this.

Oh, yes.

Bob, I've a little present for you.

After all, we won't need it.

All we'll need is
the breast of a lark.

Few ortalans and a bag of prunes.

- Ricki, show the gentleman.
- Oh, wait. Just a moment.

Do either of you recognize these?

But... when? Where?

Ricki, remember I once told you
that I'd wait for the one moment

when Ace would lose his poise?

Mm-Hmm.

In Mexico, Ace.

You know, Bob. I always wished
we might have teamed up.

- What a conman you'd have made.
- Oh, you really think so?

Oh, yes, with that brilliant
mind and that dumb act.

Brooklyn Bridge would have
changed hands a thousand times.

'All aboard.'

Well, ah--

I'll think about you.

- Where you going now?
- Hot Springs.

Some unfinished business.

Good luck.

'Board'