All language subtitles for Shameless Hall of Shame s01e04 Debbie, Carl & Liam.eng

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:05,672 rock music 2 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,769 [woman] All right, now you take the needle, 3 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:22,313 and you scoop the loop. 4 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,607 All right, then you pull it through. 5 00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:25,984 -Ow, fuck! -[woman] Pull it tight. 6 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,652 When the hell does this turn into a pillow? 7 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,320 [Carl clears throat] What are you doing? 8 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,739 [Debbie] Knitting. 9 00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,782 You making another self-sculpture? 10 00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,576 [scoffs] Looks just like you. 11 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:36,327 Fuck off. 12 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:39,080 -What, another weed bread? -Yeah, makes some good money. 13 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,374 Well, there goes my pandemic girlfriend. 14 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,751 You have a girlfriend? 15 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,878 Had. Sasha just broke up with me. 16 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,422 -Sasha? -[camera shutter clicking] 17 00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,050 I even changed my name to "Liam Rodenstein." 18 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:52,093 Thought if being a Black Jew worked for Drake, 19 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,178 it might work for me. 20 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,221 -[Carl] It didn't? -Almost. 21 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,432 Till she found out I'm a Gallagher. 22 00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,975 What's going on? 23 00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,727 Frank, drunk, looking for a bed. 24 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,937 -Who the hell let him? -Debbie? 25 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,397 Why can't he sleep out on the porch? 26 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,356 [Carl] It's warm enough. 27 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,817 [Frank] I want my bed back! 28 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:08,902 Oh, hell no! 29 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:12,155 Morning, Frank. 30 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,782 This is my house! 31 00:01:13,823 --> 00:01:16,076 It's okay, Daddy. You can sleep in my room. 32 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,995 -[giggles] -Debbie stole a baby. 33 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,830 -Why? -It's Debbie. 34 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,290 Why would you steal a little boy 35 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,833 and dress him like a little girl? 36 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,086 You took away Aunt Ginger. 37 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,128 Who is Aunt Ginger? 38 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,089 [Fiona] Social Security wants to talk to Ginger, 39 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,341 and he was too lazy to go get the real one. 40 00:01:31,382 --> 00:01:33,051 -She's dead. -No! 41 00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,219 [Lip] Debs, you never met her. 42 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,137 [Debbie] And now I never will. 43 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,889 -I'm in mourning. -When did she die? 44 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,308 Twelve years ago. 45 00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:43,144 You've been cashing her checks. That's a felony. 46 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,604 -What are we gonna do now? -Well... 47 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,731 -I like that one. -Too lucid. 48 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,066 [whispered] What about her? 49 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,277 Everything is just the way I remember it. 50 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,161 -She was my friend. -Why did you take the boy? 51 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,746 He was crying, and nobody cared. 52 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,206 -So I took him. -How'd you get him out? 53 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,959 -I waved a Snickers bar at him. -[sighs] 54 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,962 Dear Lord, thank you for this food that we're about to eat, 55 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,713 and please make my brother Clayton 56 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:13,299 burn in hell for all eternity when the time comes. 57 00:02:13,341 --> 00:02:14,509 Amen. 58 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:15,927 [all] Amen. 59 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,345 upbeat music 60 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:20,932 Liam, if you want a Popsicle, show me your hands. 61 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,559 Hands off your package, or no treat! 62 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,686 -I need my own room. -Carl, quit it. 63 00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:27,272 -I'm gonna be a woman soon. -Enough. 64 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:28,523 I can't be in the same room 65 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,525 where Liam is constantly masturbating. 66 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,485 It's not masturbating if nothing comes out. 67 00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,612 Please, let me catch my breath 68 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,614 -Shh. -It's 1:00 a.m. 69 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,533 Is that our Halloween candy? 70 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:40,743 -Movie night. -We have school in the morning. 71 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,496 -Paranormal Activity 3. -Right? 72 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,331 -My buddy shot this at the AMC. 73 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,457 Okay please 74 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,002 -It's rated R. -For "really fucking scary." 75 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,420 So sit there and learn. 76 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,213 -Whoa! -[all screaming] 77 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,048 -Get him in the coffin. -[Veronica] Watch your head. 78 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,134 Looks dead. Hey, Carl, more ice. 79 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,927 -Got it. -Sorry for your loss. 80 00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:01,306 -It was a shock. -[sobbing] 81 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,974 I know you're faking it. Come on! 82 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,101 What's the matter with you? Look at him, he's dead. 83 00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,353 -And you'll be going? -Soon as he's in the ground. 84 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,564 -[glass shatters] -[car alarm blares] 85 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,524 We need something to put in the coffin. 86 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,153 Okay. 87 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,529 [Fiona] Ready? 88 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:17,697 Lift. 89 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:20,158 Wait, she broke up with you because you're a Gallagher? 90 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,911 Yeah, says we're all crazy. 91 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,078 Fuck that. I'll fucking kill her. 92 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,038 -Are you in? -I'm in. 93 00:03:25,079 --> 00:03:26,623 We can inject the vid into this bread. 94 00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:29,000 Leave it on her front steps. She'll never see it coming. 95 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,376 I don't think that's how that works. 96 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,337 What are you, some kind of doctor? 97 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,255 You're both crazy. 98 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:35,548 Tough break. 99 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,133 Fuck you. He said both of us. 100 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,427 -I'm not crazy! -Huh. 101 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,762 [groaning] 102 00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:41,888 [screaming] 103 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,681 -[laughing] -[screaming] 104 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,808 Watering the plants. Ha! 105 00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:47,060 [Carl] I'm done with the flyer. 106 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,937 It's "fundraiser," not "fun razor." 107 00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:51,064 Want to make them think someone's getting cut. 108 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:51,898 [imitates cutting sound] 109 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,274 No, no, no, no, no, no. 110 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,401 The bat is for killing, not for taking to school. 111 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,696 [Debbie] Didn't Fiona tell you to stop electrocuting dolls? 112 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,782 [Carl] They have to pay for their sins. 113 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,575 I want to go to the forest and kill something. 114 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,161 The kids have been making papier-mâché sculptures. 115 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,579 This is Carl's. 116 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,706 [Monroe] A papier-mâché pile of shit. 117 00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,292 Who in the hell is raising this degenerate? 118 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,460 [Frank] You should be coloring me 119 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:13,920 a thank-you note of gratitude 120 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,296 that the half of you that came from me 121 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,839 wasn't spooged on your mother's neck, 122 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,092 but instead was guided by yours truly 123 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,594 to get up inside of her to start the life of you. 124 00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,138 So walk and talk with gratitude, son. 125 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,307 [chuckles] I was just kidding. 126 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,934 -[loud whoosh] -[gasps] 127 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,686 -How's your head? -Little dizzy. 128 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,729 You're fine. Go eat some breakfast. 129 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,064 Don't set the house on fire. 130 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,066 Just kidding. 131 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,109 [mouths words] 132 00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:39,112 Yo, yo, yo, Destructo, that's my toaster! 133 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,119 What? 134 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,665 Oh, shit! 135 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,457 Where'd Carl go? 136 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,168 -Ninja! -Carl, no! 137 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,586 Ah! 138 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,132 -No! -[Lip] Shit! 139 00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:01,092 [Fiona] Shit, Carl. 140 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,427 That actually kinda worked. 141 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,060 [emergency sirens approaching] 142 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:14,147 -It's his first offense. -His first criminal offense. 143 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:16,899 He's got double digit suspensions at school. 144 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:18,818 [Carl] If you pick on asshead again, 145 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,029 I'm gonna chew your nuts off with my teeth. 146 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,655 Heard you talking about my little brother Liam 147 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:23,573 on the bus this morning. 148 00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:25,908 You mean your retarded brother? 149 00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,411 [lawyer] He sent three kids home with concussions, 150 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,246 two with busted eardrums... 151 00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,456 I think you broke my nose. 152 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,541 [lawyer] ...and one with a ruptured testicle. 153 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,668 It was gym. Decided to play kickball. 154 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,588 -What if he shows remorse? -What's that? 155 00:05:38,629 --> 00:05:40,882 -It means you say you're sorry. -I'm not. 156 00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:43,134 -Lie. -[bird squawks] 157 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,635 Shot a duck. 158 00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:46,929 That's no duck. That's a bald eagle. 159 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,807 rock music 160 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,152 Ahhhh! 161 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,113 Okay, I guess we are a little crazy. 162 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,408 Yeah, well, can you blame us? Look at our parents. 163 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,618 Monica. 164 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,453 [high-pitched] You wanna go shopping? 165 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,955 Oh, pretty girls' day out! 166 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,791 [normal voice] Come on, let's go. Whoa! 167 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,501 I got it. [chuckles] 168 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,420 [Frank] ...why anyone would go to the zoo sober. 169 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,423 Hey, you having fun back there? 170 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,466 [chuckles] 171 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,426 Ah, Debbie. 172 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:26,469 Hi, honey. 173 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:27,595 Debs, now. 174 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,555 Debs, you wanna come play? 175 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,057 -Yeah. -No. 176 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,433 Monica's gotta go. 177 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,310 She's your mother, Fi. 178 00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,770 You only get one. 179 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:38,356 It's like watching a hurricane head for shore. 180 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,274 Good morning, sweetheart. 181 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:41,401 Mom. 182 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,736 We don't have any money. 183 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,612 Oh, Liam! 184 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:48,032 Look at you, my little brown bear. 185 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,992 Oh, look how big you are. 186 00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:53,079 -How long is she staying? -Only forever and a day. 187 00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,124 I think this must be the place. 188 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,875 Can I get out? It's hot in here. 189 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,877 -No. -Ow! 190 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:00,920 Frank. 191 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,088 I came to get you out. 192 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,674 I told you, I don't want out. 193 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,217 [Jill] Stop. 194 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,219 Did you come? 195 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:09,971 This is Jill. 196 00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:13,141 Jill, this is my husband, Frank. 197 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,268 [laughs] 198 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,395 Oops. 199 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:21,441 Mom? 200 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:24,318 Come on, you and me. We can take the new car. 201 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,862 Can't get enough Carl and Mommy time. 202 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,113 Do you need some new clothes? 203 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,698 We could stop at JCPenney. 204 00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:29,949 Hm. I can drive. 205 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,617 No. Do you have a license? 206 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:33,619 Quick, quick, Carl, switch places. 207 00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:35,455 Come on. 208 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:36,914 Hi. 209 00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,333 You're supposed to be wearing your seatbelt. 210 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,462 Shit, Carl, I shrunk your jersey. 211 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,465 -I thought you were Carl. -This is Little Hank. 212 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,425 -That's your mom? -[Monica] Hey, handsome. 213 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,886 Made some cookies. They're on the table. 214 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,095 [mouths words] 215 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,930 [tires screeching] 216 00:07:55,391 --> 00:07:58,603 I love you, Debbie! 217 00:07:58,644 --> 00:07:59,812 Yeah, and Frank. 218 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,981 Who was around just enough to fuck us up. 219 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,193 Cancer? 220 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,861 rock music 221 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,863 How did I get cancer? 222 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,990 You musta caught it from Grammy, son. 223 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:13,701 If she had known that she had the contagious kind, 224 00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,411 I don't think she would've spent so much time with you 225 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,330 in the basement, cooking meth. 226 00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,581 Excuse me. 227 00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,875 My grandmother's having an allergy attack, 228 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,585 and I need to buy her some SUDAFED, 229 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,379 but I'm under 18, and her driver's license was revoked. 230 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,632 Can you please buy it for her? 231 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:28,633 You making meth? 232 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:31,052 Free rock when we're up and running. 233 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,930 Am I going to die? 234 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,766 rock music 235 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:38,017 I hope not. 236 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:40,853 But right now, we have to fight 237 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:42,897 and fight hard. 238 00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,359 You ready to fight with me, Carl? 239 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,571 Why do we have to shave it? 240 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,823 Didn't you ever see any shows about cancer? 241 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,368 Cancer people are always bald. 242 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,708 Jeez, I'm gonna look like a penis. 243 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,128 I'll get you a hat. 244 00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:08,297 -I'll get you a hat. -[clippers buzz] 245 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,215 [laughter] 246 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,803 This is nice, the two of us just hanging out, 247 00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:14,971 getting to know each other. 248 00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:16,472 We should do this more often. 249 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,432 Wanna snort the next batch? 250 00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:19,350 No. 251 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,310 My foster gays have a lot of nice stuff. 252 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,355 Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting? 253 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,523 iPods, computers. 254 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,149 -How often they there? -They work weekends. 255 00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:29,610 -Can you pick a lock? -I have their security code. 256 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:34,532 That's all right. 257 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,409 Are you good with fractions? 258 00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,535 Fractions of what? 259 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,537 Like, if you have 1/16 of an ounce of something, 260 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,455 how many grams would that be? 261 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:43,874 -Are you dealing drugs? -No. 262 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,126 Basic overview. 263 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:49,255 You got flaps, half G's, G's, teeners, 8-balls, and ounces. 264 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,300 An ounce is 28 grams, an 8-ball is 3.54, 265 00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:56,095 and a teener is 1.77, but the dealers round down. 266 00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:59,015 So they pocket the extra .35. You following? 267 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:00,433 I might need to write this down. 268 00:10:00,474 --> 00:10:02,018 -Frank. -Yes, son? 269 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:05,563 Why would a dude put his penis in another dude's mouth? 270 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,149 Sometimes men discover things about themselves, 271 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:11,986 like they prefer male genitalia to female genitalia. 272 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,655 So some guys like to lick wieners? 273 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:16,782 Well, I'm sure at first they're attracted 274 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,326 to each other's build, 275 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,369 and once a connection gets made, 276 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,455 then the wieners get licked. 277 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:23,706 What are you doing? 278 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:25,458 Making a little easy summer moolah, 279 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:26,417 the Gallagher way. 280 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,210 -[Debbie] Where's Liam? -In the car. 281 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,253 Did you crack a window? 282 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,672 Left the engine running for the AC. 283 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,258 You left a toddler in a running car 284 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,135 in this neighborhood? 285 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,472 Stay. Stay down. 286 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,974 Stay down! 287 00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,771 What about Fiona? She wasn't so bad. 288 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,105 Who? 289 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,233 -[laughter] -Oh! 290 00:10:51,275 --> 00:10:54,028 -Yeah! -Come on, give me that arm. 291 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,988 Liam's breaking it down. 292 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,782 Must be nice not to own a home 293 00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,158 and have to deal with this stuff. 294 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,702 Yeah, it gives me more time to buy drugs 295 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,037 and fence stolen goods. 296 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,664 [Lip] Is something burning? You smell that? 297 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:06,165 Oh, shit. Shit! 298 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,583 -Shit! -[laughs] 299 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,336 -[smoke alarm blares] -Fuck, burn the house down. 300 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,837 Okay, burn the food, too. 301 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:13,297 I'm going through something here. 302 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,465 Yeah, looks like you went through 303 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,634 about five beverages in an hour, Fiona. 304 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,802 Have another one. 305 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:20,179 Hey, Hector, is there any way that you could-- 306 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,222 I can't this time, Fiona. 307 00:11:21,263 --> 00:11:23,015 It's not the first time we got shut off. 308 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:23,933 Won't be the last. 309 00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:24,892 Is there any way that you could 310 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,102 scrape the money together today? 311 00:11:26,143 --> 00:11:26,936 We have it. 312 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:29,105 She just forgot to pay it. 313 00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:32,358 [cheering] 314 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,235 [Debbie] Fiona! 315 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,986 Fiona! 316 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,738 -Oh, shit. -[Debbie] What's on his face? 317 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:38,823 [Fiona] Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 318 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,449 -Step back. -Oh, my God. 319 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:41,492 Oh, my God. 320 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,786 Ow! Ow! Get off me! 321 00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:46,038 -You are going to that clinic! -You're hurting me! 322 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,289 -Ow! -Stop it! 323 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:50,418 Help, my sister's trying to force me to get an abortion! 324 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:51,961 Fiona! 325 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:52,837 Get off her! 326 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,632 No, we are going to that fucking clinic! 327 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,676 [both panting] 328 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,845 Fucking Gallaghers. 329 00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:04,181 We never stood a chance. 330 00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,434 Jeez, no wonder why Liam's so bummed out. 331 00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:08,227 You're the one saying we're crazy. 332 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,395 Why are you coming at me? 333 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,148 rock music 334 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:14,859 I will stab you until you bleed to death 335 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:15,860 if you don't quit it out. 336 00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,987 We gotta empty the pool out, Conrad. 337 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:19,238 You guys gotta get out of here. 338 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,699 Go screw this end of the hose into Tony's spigot 339 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,033 so we can siphon the water out. 340 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,286 Or we could just do it this way. 341 00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:26,829 Carl! 342 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:28,539 I'll patch it up next summer. 343 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,040 -[Carl] See ya. -[sighs] 344 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:32,418 Good luck getting laid smelling like fried dough all day. 345 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:34,378 You always smell like that. What's your excuse? 346 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,297 -Bitches and hormones. -[Debbie gasps] 347 00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,048 -Ha. -[belches] 348 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,008 [Liam belches] 349 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,509 Ew, don't learn from him, Liam. 350 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,428 He's disgusting. 351 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:43,679 [Lip] What's this? 352 00:12:43,721 --> 00:12:44,930 [Carl] Creepy art she's making 353 00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,140 'cause her boyfriend dumped her. 354 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,933 I'm expressing myself creatively. 355 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:49,810 You're counting underarm hair with a mirror. 356 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:51,061 Check it out, four new ones. 357 00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:52,271 Get off of me! 358 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,314 [Fiona] Who are you texting, Debs? 359 00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:54,398 Her boyfriend. [smacks lips] 360 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,441 Shut up, Carl. 361 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,610 Why do guys care so much about sex? 362 00:12:57,651 --> 00:12:59,069 Because it feels awesome. 363 00:12:59,111 --> 00:13:00,070 Like you would know. 364 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,114 If my hand is anything like the real thing, 365 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,282 it's off the chain. 366 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,283 Shut up, zit head. 367 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,452 At least I got zits, no-pubes girl. 368 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,578 [Fiona] Okay, enough. 369 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,205 I plan to bang as many chicks as I can 370 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:11,248 and get so good at it they even pay me to do it. 371 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,876 Ha, yeah right. You're in a wheelchair. 372 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,127 Chicks dig wheelchairs. 373 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,546 I swear to God, if you lose your virginity before I do, 374 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:20,508 I'll stab you to death in your sleep. 375 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,511 We should go talk to him. 376 00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:26,639 You don't tell me to go. I tell you to go. 377 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:29,308 [Debbie] Let's go. 378 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:34,939 Liam, you don't need a COVID girlfriend. 379 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,649 [Carl] You don't even need a girlfriend. 380 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,068 They're complicated. 381 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,195 -[tires screech] -Shit. 382 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,446 Gallagher! 383 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:44,990 [Carl] What are you doing here? 384 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:46,992 [groans] Let me go. 385 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,119 -Are you law enforcement? -Friend. 386 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,412 Let me go, Kelly. 387 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:51,997 Oh, you're Kelly? 388 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,836 Now that's a woman. 389 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:57,837 So what do you wanna do? 390 00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,588 I can get my hands on some firecrackers. 391 00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,048 -Cool. -It's fake. 392 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,758 -Looks real! -Empty the register! 393 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,844 Yeah, I'm just gonna hand over my money 394 00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:06,595 to the Lollipop Guild. 395 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,347 Whoa, shit! 396 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,765 You said it was fake! 397 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,017 Hey, what's shaking, cupcake? 398 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:13,978 Ew, what's that stink? 399 00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,063 Smells like animal butt and fireplace. 400 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,481 Hey girl, I'm Carl. 401 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,900 I'll just call you my angel. 402 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:21,944 That, ladies? That's the smell of a real man. 403 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,154 I always got room for my number one boo thang. 404 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,698 Do you have a straight-up brain injury? 405 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:27,116 You can ride my joint if you want. 406 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,034 Go away, Muppet. 407 00:14:29,076 --> 00:14:30,703 But I'm a cripple. 408 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,542 [alarm blares] 409 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,670 Grab those cupcakes and get chocolate milk. 410 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,048 -How many cartons? -As much as you can carry. 411 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,842 You're fun, you know that? 412 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,343 Yeah, you too. 413 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:53,183 You're an officer and a gentleman, Carl Gallagher. 414 00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:55,519 Only decent thing is your brother. 415 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,271 Next. 416 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,356 We call him Carl-lingus. 417 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,483 I'm going back for seconds. 418 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:03,986 -Are you a virgin? -[scoffs] Hell no. 419 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,446 -I am. -Yeah, me too. 420 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,407 I was thinking maybe you and me... 421 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,910 -48 condoms? -In 32 hours. 422 00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,453 You up for the challenge, Gallagher? 423 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,913 Uh, yeah. 424 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,623 Then prove it, pussy. 425 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:18,125 -30 seconds or less? -No problem. 426 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,711 What the hell? 427 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,713 How stupid do you think I am, Carl? 428 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,049 [Carl] No, no! 429 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,635 You lying piece of shit! [groans] 430 00:15:27,676 --> 00:15:28,969 Ow, ow, ow. 431 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,055 Getting your ass kicked by a girl again, Carl? 432 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,265 -Is Dom here? -Nope. 433 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,308 Wh--she's right there. 434 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,559 Dad found out that I was skipping 435 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,019 softball camp to hang out with you. 436 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,562 He'll kill you if he finds you here. 437 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,272 He only has one working limb. 438 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:42,983 That doesn't scare me. 439 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,444 I'ma give you a ten-second head start. 440 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,779 You better run, boy. 441 00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:48,614 Go! Ten, nine... 442 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,240 [Carl] I won't stop seeing you! 443 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:51,992 -Dom, I won't stop seeing you! -Eight. 444 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:52,993 I always go down on you, 445 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,495 but you don't ever go down on me. 446 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:56,413 Your thing has all this extra skin, 447 00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:57,456 and it kinda freaks me out. 448 00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:58,999 I can do it, but I don't recommend it. 449 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,834 I'd suggest you find another girl. 450 00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:01,877 I don't want another girl. 451 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,254 I cut the tip of my dick off for you. 452 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:05,422 Carl, meet shithead. 453 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,049 Carl, the dude who trimmed his dick? 454 00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,301 -You're not circumcised? -Hell no. 455 00:16:09,343 --> 00:16:10,970 I don't mind it anymore. 456 00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,222 You know she's got gonorrhea, right? 457 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:15,099 No one is ever gonna love you 458 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,184 as hard as I do, Carl Gallagher, no one. 459 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,520 -Is that your blood? -Yeah, it's your blood now. 460 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,855 You possess me, and vice versa. 461 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,857 Here, come here. 462 00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:25,818 I'll try not to nick an artery. 463 00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:28,237 Kas, where you at? 464 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,532 [choking] 465 00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,201 Kas. 466 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,662 [gasping] 467 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,163 You really do love me. 468 00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:43,210 I will never be okay with being away from you, bae! 469 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,004 Never! 470 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,632 Carl! 471 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,551 Carl, get off the bus! 472 00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,011 Get off the bus, Carl! 473 00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,972 Carl! Carl, come back! 474 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,598 I love you! 475 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,476 Only two more days until the end of school. 476 00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:01,812 Mrs. Gallagher's waiting for you. 477 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,231 -[soldiers chanting] -I'm doing my Kegels. 478 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,691 I love you! 479 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,151 She's still at it. 480 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,527 [Kassidi] Carl, Carl, he's my man! 481 00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:11,030 If he can't fuck me, no one can! 482 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,489 What are you doing? 483 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,700 My friend Janice said this is what you do 484 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,826 when a condom breaks. 485 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:20,122 Plan B, aisle two. Monistat, aisle three. 486 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:22,249 So are you done being a pussy 487 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:25,502 and ready to get back to being the man that I love? 488 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,254 What? 489 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:28,839 Damn, you're dense. 490 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:32,593 [man] Carl Francis Hashish Gallagher. 491 00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,803 Yo, Gallagher! 492 00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:36,096 You're a disgrace, Gallagher. 493 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,389 I never want to see your face again, 494 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:40,142 not on my campus and not ever in my army. 495 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:43,896 Yeah, baby! Yeah! 496 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:45,647 Carl, let's go. 497 00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:49,068 Fuck the tent. We're having sex in my room. 498 00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,407 [Kelly] Carl! 499 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,118 I better go. 500 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,037 Yeah, I guess you better. 501 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,372 If she's not gonna date you because of your last name, 502 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,124 just find someone else who will. 503 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,793 I don't want just someone. 504 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:07,294 Yeah, well, you don't wanna be lonely. 505 00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,046 Just find someone who makes you laugh. 506 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,255 Or who's easy. 507 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,256 No. 508 00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:14,301 Find someone who appreciates you for you. 509 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,220 I mean, I've been in, like, ten relationships, 510 00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:19,014 and they've all been with wonderful people. 511 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:22,059 Does this make you...cray? 512 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,060 Uh-um... 513 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,478 I really like him, and I think it's time 514 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,979 we take it to the next level. 515 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:27,481 Mm, how old are you now? 516 00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,315 Thirteen. 517 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,691 What took you so long? 518 00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,443 Ha, this is why I came to you. 519 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,070 Little Hank? What does he like? 520 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,988 I don't know, stuff. Why? 521 00:18:35,030 --> 00:18:36,198 He doesn't even notice me. 522 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,866 Are you sure you're sending strong enough signals? 523 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,784 [Debbie] I've tried. 524 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,577 -Hi. -Hi. 525 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,995 [Kev] Guys are pretty dumb. 526 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,997 Sometimes you have to put something shiny in the window 527 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:44,957 to get 'em in the store. 528 00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:45,874 What are you doing? 529 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,417 I'm sending stronger signals. 530 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:49,461 -There. -This will get his attention. 531 00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,796 Who's your friend? 532 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,256 Think I may become a nun. 533 00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:54,174 Nuns don't have sex, right? 534 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,968 You look too pretty to be a nun. 535 00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:59,179 What do you actually do? 536 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,472 I mean, I've seen porn, 537 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,599 but I'm not sure I understand all the technicalities. 538 00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,018 Show me your seductions face. 539 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,562 What are you doing wearing my top? 540 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:08,272 Pheromones. I'm borrowing them. 541 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,148 Pheromones? 542 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,983 It's the thing boys like about you. 543 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:12,818 -You mean tits? -Holy shit. 544 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:14,653 He is man. You try seductions face. 545 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,155 [Kev] What the hell are you doing? 546 00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,656 Five minutes ago, you were a baby. 547 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:19,074 [Svetlana] But she looks good, yes? 548 00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,826 [Kev] Agh! I'm not answering that. 549 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,077 This means yes. 550 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:26,498 -Where are you going? -Out. 551 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:28,500 Are those my boots? 552 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:31,962 Are you okay? 553 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,965 No, I gotta lie down. 554 00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,800 Matty accused me of raping him. 555 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:37,676 -What? -I know! 556 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:38,844 You date raped me. 557 00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:39,970 We were on a date? 558 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,890 No, Debbie, you statutory raped yourself. 559 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:45,517 He was drunk, but his thing wasn't. 560 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:46,602 I don't understand. 561 00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:47,978 Friends don't rape friends. 562 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,480 Listen, Debs, a million guys would kill 563 00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:51,648 to be raped by you. 564 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,651 Ugh, would you shut up already? 565 00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,738 -This is my house. -[Derek] Okay. 566 00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,281 She's putting all that skank makeup on 567 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:01,116 to get out of the friend zone with that Derek dude. 568 00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:02,451 We're not in the friend zone. 569 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:03,744 -Talk to you later? -Yeah. 570 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,538 If he punches your arm, it means you guys are friends. 571 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:07,539 What the hell is going on? 572 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,124 I don't want you as my friend. 573 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,667 I want you as my boyfriend. 574 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,920 Look at me, I'm nice, funny, smart, 575 00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:14,504 and I'd fuck up anyone that hurts you. 576 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,298 I'm sick of having to change who I am 577 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,466 or wait till I'm older. 578 00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:18,675 I'd be a great girlfriend, 579 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:22,054 and if you can't see that, screw you! 580 00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:23,764 -I like you too. -You do? 581 00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:28,101 I am a woman! 582 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,603 -Debbie. -Larry? 583 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,021 -I'm here with Scarlet. -Hi. 584 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,357 -Both of us are pregnant. -I'm into pregnant girls. 585 00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,858 You are my only seven-monther. 586 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,027 Oh, my God. 587 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,195 -Whoa! -Oh! 588 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,321 Oh, I'm sorry. 589 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:40,572 [Debbie] So let me get this straight. 590 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:41,657 You have your own place, 591 00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:43,617 your own money, and nobody to take care of you. 592 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,285 Excuse me, are you lactating? 593 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,204 He can't help it. He has brain damage. 594 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,664 Ah, your breath smells like Pop-Tarts. 595 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,916 You have a good ass; it makes up for your small tits. 596 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,417 -Cute baby. -No, it's not. 597 00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,586 I love you, Debbie. 598 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,590 -I love you too. -Yeah? 599 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,051 [laughter] 600 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:02,970 -[cheering] -Fuck yeah! 601 00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,222 -[phone rings] -Neil, what is it? 602 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,307 Can you come home and give me a sponge bath? 603 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:08,767 -No. -I'll do it. 604 00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:09,726 Hey, guys. 605 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,603 Came home early to spend some quality time. 606 00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,438 -Um-- -It's over, Debbie. 607 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,941 I'm in love with my nurse, and you're a horrible person. 608 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,776 upbeat music 609 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:20,279 -Hey. -Hey. 610 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,781 [Debbie] I think I might be gay. 611 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,199 Have you had sex with another woman? 612 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,201 I did once, a woman I was babysitting for. 613 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,119 Oh, Debbie. 614 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,912 Carl, hey. Um, I need some help. 615 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,247 Got any tips on gay sex? 616 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,999 Do the shocker. I'll text you a pic. 617 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,875 No, no, no, Debbie. Oh--ah! 618 00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:34,960 Oh-oh! Deb-Debbie. 619 00:21:35,002 --> 00:21:36,003 Oh, my God, you're so cute. 620 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,296 Have you been with a girl since? 621 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,214 Yep, I just made out with one in a bathroom. 622 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:40,215 [Ian] Well, that's a start. 623 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,842 I don't like talking about my feelings. 624 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:44,177 It's called lesbianism, Debbie. 625 00:21:44,219 --> 00:21:45,304 It's what we do. 626 00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:47,347 I thought sex with women is what lesbians do. 627 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:49,641 Yeah, and you're bad at that too. 628 00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:53,270 How did you guys know that you were lesbians? 629 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:54,896 You either like girls or you don't. 630 00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:56,398 -I thought I did. -Look at me. 631 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,441 Oh, here we go. 632 00:22:06,533 --> 00:22:09,119 [Mel] You like that? 633 00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:11,204 That's all the lesbian you need to be. 634 00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:14,041 I met this awesome woman last night at a hotel bar. 635 00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:16,293 She's older than me, but not in a rapey way. 636 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,544 What are you here for? 637 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:21,590 I was hoping to have a good conversation with a nice woman. 638 00:22:21,631 --> 00:22:23,759 Looks like I hit the jackpot. 639 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,345 She's got this beautiful smile and these bright eyes, 640 00:22:26,386 --> 00:22:29,097 and these sexy little Lisa Loeb glasses. 641 00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:30,349 -Debs. -So anyways, 642 00:22:30,390 --> 00:22:32,517 we spent the night together last night, 643 00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:35,187 and then she gave me this. 644 00:22:35,228 --> 00:22:36,063 Holy shit. 645 00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:38,023 -[Claudia] Did you find it? -Yeah! 646 00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,483 She thinks you're a prostitute. 647 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:40,442 What? 648 00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:41,818 Can you pick Julia up after school? 649 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,111 -Julia? -My kid. 650 00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:44,654 Did I not tell you about her? 651 00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:46,948 You've really drunk my mom's Kool-Aid, haven't you? 652 00:22:46,990 --> 00:22:49,576 Is that a sex thing? 'Cause probably. 653 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:51,995 [Megan] You're doing the mom and the daughter? 654 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,289 -That's hot. -It's going south fast. 655 00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:55,665 So Debbie and I are fucking. 656 00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:57,167 [chuckles] Excuse me? 657 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,710 No screens for a week. 658 00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:00,504 We have an arrest warrant for Deborah Gallagher. 659 00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,880 No shit. What for? 660 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:05,092 Statutory rape of a minor, Julia Nicolo. 661 00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:06,635 Fuck. 662 00:23:06,676 --> 00:23:08,512 We got a runner! 663 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:11,098 -What's going on? -When's your 18th birthday? 664 00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:13,350 Stop! Police! 665 00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:15,769 I can kinda understand 666 00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,312 why Sasha wouldn't wanna be with me. 667 00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,523 Sorry, buddy, it's the family you were born into. 668 00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,191 Just gotta embrace it. 669 00:23:21,233 --> 00:23:25,529 Why am I the only one in the family that has black skin? 670 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:27,697 Liam, ah! 671 00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,866 It has something to do with Monica's granddad, 672 00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:32,452 although we never really got a straight answer. 673 00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:34,913 Hey, Frank, do you know who banged a Black person 674 00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:35,997 in our family lineage? 675 00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:37,791 This is your great-great aunt. 676 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:40,961 [Frank] Someone from your mother's grandfather's side 677 00:23:41,002 --> 00:23:42,754 of the family had a mistress. 678 00:23:42,796 --> 00:23:44,881 Twice removed on your third cousin's-- 679 00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:47,259 well, look, I'm not exactly sure what the genealogy is. 680 00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:49,386 -And she was Black? -She is Black. 681 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:51,930 -Is she still alive? -Lives down the street. 682 00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,723 Why didn't you tell me? 683 00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:55,434 [man] Get away from the house, Frank. 684 00:23:55,475 --> 00:23:57,018 You know the rules. 685 00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:59,062 Baby come on give me, won't you give me 686 00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:00,021 That's why, son. 687 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:01,690 What's going on? 688 00:24:01,731 --> 00:24:03,567 Trying to figure out who I am. 689 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:04,943 What's my identity. 690 00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,653 Dr. King, Dr. Dre? 691 00:24:06,695 --> 00:24:08,738 [chuckles] Maybe you should set your sights lower, 692 00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,532 you know, like Tyga, Nelly, 693 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,284 or maybe one of the Wayans brothers, 694 00:24:12,325 --> 00:24:13,410 or Lester Holt. 695 00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:16,663 Can you dig it 696 00:24:16,705 --> 00:24:20,250 I, I, I 697 00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:22,127 Can you dig it 698 00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:25,714 I, I, I 699 00:24:25,755 --> 00:24:27,674 Can you dig it 700 00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,301 I, I, I 701 00:24:29,342 --> 00:24:30,927 I just want to know who I am. 702 00:24:30,969 --> 00:24:32,554 You're a Gallagher, same as me. 703 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:33,889 You just gotta embrace it. 704 00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,557 I hate to agree with Debbie, 705 00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:36,558 but she's right. 706 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,019 Uh, sorry, one more time for the people in the back. 707 00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,980 Just be a Gallagher. 708 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:44,858 Be a Gallagher. 709 00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,818 smooth music 710 00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:49,070 Get everything you can. 711 00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:52,199 Raggedy looking stuff. These are great. 712 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,242 Gotta put it on the line 713 00:24:54,284 --> 00:24:56,828 Don't let the death of an orphaned African child 714 00:24:56,870 --> 00:24:59,915 be on your conscience this holiday season. 715 00:24:59,956 --> 00:25:01,458 He has AIDS. 716 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:04,252 Please, give money. 717 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:05,504 Keep shivering, that's really great. 718 00:25:05,545 --> 00:25:08,381 -Here, that's all I got, man. -God bless you. 719 00:25:08,423 --> 00:25:09,716 Jesus loves you. 720 00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,843 Fuck you, Frank. 721 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,345 Do your thing, hey 722 00:25:13,386 --> 00:25:14,846 Baby, just a taste. 723 00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:16,973 Do your thing yeah 724 00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,391 Do your thing 725 00:25:18,433 --> 00:25:20,852 Don't give up, do your thing 726 00:25:20,894 --> 00:25:21,686 [coughs] 727 00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:24,814 It's not working. I'm sorry, man. 728 00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:26,107 Fucking meds. 729 00:25:26,149 --> 00:25:29,486 Could also be the toddler staring at us from the corner. 730 00:25:30,403 --> 00:25:31,780 Can you take Liam to Head Start on your way? 731 00:25:31,821 --> 00:25:34,241 Like I've done every day for the last four months? 732 00:25:34,282 --> 00:25:35,951 Yes, I think I can handle that. 733 00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:37,369 Come on, Liam! 734 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:42,290 No, no, no. No weapons in juvie. 735 00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:43,333 Where's Debbie? 736 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:46,002 Said something about going out to buy drugs. 737 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:47,128 You couldn't stop her? 738 00:25:47,170 --> 00:25:48,338 I'm injured. 739 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:49,756 Boom, boom, boom. 740 00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,967 That's right, my little eggplant. 741 00:25:52,008 --> 00:25:53,718 Boom, boom, boom. 742 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,971 -Aw, fuck. -[Debbie] What? 743 00:25:56,012 --> 00:25:57,305 She's dead. 744 00:25:57,347 --> 00:25:59,140 Isn't it past his bedtime? 745 00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:01,518 -Liam, no, don't look! -[Mickey] Little late for that. 746 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,104 Look, put the kid to bed, come back, we'll deal with this. 747 00:26:04,145 --> 00:26:06,690 Come on, Debbie, go. 748 00:26:06,731 --> 00:26:07,899 Night, buddy. 749 00:26:08,316 --> 00:26:11,486 That girl Stella in there is trying to hook up with me. 750 00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:14,197 Cool. Lucky you. 751 00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:16,032 What do I do? 752 00:26:16,741 --> 00:26:18,743 Take her up to your room. Dim the lights. 753 00:26:18,785 --> 00:26:20,287 Strike a manly pose. 754 00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:22,998 Put on some sexy music, like Barry White. 755 00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:24,249 Do your thing 756 00:26:24,291 --> 00:26:27,669 Son...what say we pick up some hos? 757 00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:32,841 Your share of the bills this month, $70. 758 00:26:32,882 --> 00:26:34,634 I don't have $70. 759 00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,094 Then make $70. 760 00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:39,097 -I'm nine. -Figure it out. 761 00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:40,515 I hereby appoint you 762 00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:43,977 the Gallagher Special Diplomatic Envoy to Nigeria. 763 00:26:44,019 --> 00:26:46,396 Your first duty: help me sell a baby. 764 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:49,149 Hot Gay Jesus. 765 00:26:49,190 --> 00:26:51,735 Bet we can make money off of that. 766 00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:52,777 How? 767 00:26:52,819 --> 00:26:55,196 Ring the right bell for the right causes, 768 00:26:55,238 --> 00:26:57,449 the guilt-ridden pry open their wallets. 769 00:26:57,490 --> 00:26:58,783 It's Pavlovian. 770 00:26:58,825 --> 00:26:59,826 Don't miss out. 771 00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:01,953 All profits go to help gays across the planet. 772 00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,372 Are we really gonna give all of our money to Ian? 773 00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:07,125 No, of course not. Thank you so much for waiting. 774 00:27:07,167 --> 00:27:09,210 Gay Jesus loves you and blesses you. 775 00:27:09,252 --> 00:27:11,087 Time to expand our business, son. 776 00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:12,797 Let's get 'em loaded in. Welcome. 777 00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:15,091 We have a 16-hour journey ahead of us. 778 00:27:15,133 --> 00:27:16,092 I'll help you. 779 00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:17,677 We'll play a little get-to-know-you game 780 00:27:17,719 --> 00:27:20,347 as soon as you're comfortably settled in. 781 00:27:20,388 --> 00:27:22,098 Boom. 782 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,601 Step right up and help build a border wall. 783 00:27:24,643 --> 00:27:25,685 A buck a brick. 784 00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:28,355 Keep illegals out of the South Side. 785 00:27:28,396 --> 00:27:29,397 Thank you. 786 00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:31,316 Thanks for making America great again. 787 00:27:31,358 --> 00:27:33,068 Thank you. 788 00:27:33,109 --> 00:27:34,444 I wanna go to school, Frank. 789 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,696 Well, people in hell want cold beer. 790 00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:37,697 What's in it for me? 791 00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:39,366 I'll call Child Services. 792 00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:42,702 You're my father. You've abandoned me. 793 00:27:42,744 --> 00:27:43,828 Well played, son, 794 00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:46,998 but I'm re-abandoning you right after this is done. 795 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,249 I hate Gallaghers. 796 00:27:48,291 --> 00:27:51,711 You motherfuckers bring out the worst in everybody. 797 00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:52,837 What, you proud of that? 798 00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:55,340 Hey, man, I know who I am. 799 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,347 Be a Gallagher. 800 00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,932 I think I can do that. 801 00:28:03,973 --> 00:28:05,850 Thank you. This actually helped. 802 00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:07,686 I'm glad we could have this talk. 803 00:28:07,727 --> 00:28:09,729 I can take it from here. 804 00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:12,524 [chuckles] Ah, I'm killing this shit. 805 00:28:12,565 --> 00:28:15,652 He's lucky to have me. 806 00:28:21,991 --> 00:28:22,992 [gun clicks] 807 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:24,703 -Is that my gun? -[Liam] Yeah. 808 00:28:24,744 --> 00:28:26,371 Is that Franny's Cabbage Patch? 809 00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:27,580 Yeah. 810 00:28:27,622 --> 00:28:31,042 You mind taking a picture of me? 811 00:28:31,918 --> 00:28:33,044 What are you doing? 812 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:34,879 Taking your advice on how to land a girlfriend. 813 00:28:34,921 --> 00:28:36,840 Being a Gallagher, leaning into it. 814 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,551 -Leaning into what? -Being a teen mom. 815 00:28:39,592 --> 00:28:40,844 [scoffs] 816 00:28:40,885 --> 00:28:43,972 upbeat rock music 817 00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:48,101 Oh, shit. 818 00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:49,894 Oh, shit. 819 00:28:51,896 --> 00:28:53,690 Oh, fuck! 820 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:56,109 Sorry. 821 00:28:56,151 --> 00:28:57,444 Don't embarrass me like that. 822 00:28:57,485 --> 00:29:00,572 You can't have a boy in your bed. 823 00:29:00,613 --> 00:29:01,698 Why not? You do. 824 00:29:01,740 --> 00:29:03,742 -I'm a grown-up. -I'm pregnant. 825 00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:06,286 [chuckling] No, you're not. 826 00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:09,372 No, you're not. Are you sure? 827 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,292 -It's positive. -So we're pregnant? 828 00:29:12,333 --> 00:29:14,252 Would you like to discuss your options going forward? 829 00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:17,422 No, no, no, thank you. We're having this baby. 830 00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:23,595 -You're not pregnant? -I'm not. 831 00:29:23,636 --> 00:29:25,930 [relieved sigh] 832 00:29:25,972 --> 00:29:27,682 Hi, Mrs. D. Is Derek here? 833 00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:30,685 He's moving to Florida to live with his grandmother. 834 00:29:30,727 --> 00:29:31,936 I'm sorry. 835 00:29:31,978 --> 00:29:33,062 He can't go to Florida! 836 00:29:33,104 --> 00:29:36,232 He's the father of my child! 837 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:40,278 I'm carrying your grandchild! 838 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,654 [Fiona] Can I help you? 839 00:29:41,696 --> 00:29:43,990 We'd like to talk to you about the baby. 840 00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:46,326 What baby? 841 00:29:46,367 --> 00:29:48,870 Derek and Debbie's baby. 842 00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:50,580 [Carl] Holy shit. 843 00:29:50,622 --> 00:29:52,123 What else did I miss? 844 00:29:52,165 --> 00:29:53,500 [Fiona] Lay down, lay down, lay down. 845 00:29:53,541 --> 00:29:54,834 All right, I'm gonna go get my truck 846 00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:56,002 so we can go to the hospital. 847 00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:57,212 No! No hospital! 848 00:29:57,253 --> 00:29:58,922 -We don't have time to argue. -Ahhh! 849 00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,465 No shit, this baby is coming! 850 00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:02,258 -Now? -She's crowning. 851 00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:03,885 -Oh. -Who delivered Liam? 852 00:30:03,927 --> 00:30:05,595 Monica. She was high. 853 00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:06,721 He slid right out. 854 00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:08,598 -You worked at a nursing home. -Changing bedpans. 855 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,392 I never delivered a damn baby. 856 00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:13,520 -[Lip] It says we need towels! -[Fiona] Already got 'em. 857 00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:16,689 Okay, okay, so put 'em under to catch all the-- 858 00:30:16,731 --> 00:30:18,775 Fuck, just put 'em under. Shit! 859 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,485 You're gonna start pushing now, okay? 860 00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:21,945 -[Sean] Uh-huh. -All right, here we go. 861 00:30:21,986 --> 00:30:23,988 -All right. -Ready and push! 862 00:30:24,030 --> 00:30:26,241 -[screaming] -[Veronica] Push, Debbie, push. 863 00:30:26,282 --> 00:30:28,201 [all screaming] 864 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,369 Eww. 865 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:31,913 -[screaming continues] -You gotta open your legs up. 866 00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:34,457 My daughter. 867 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,334 She's so big. 868 00:30:36,376 --> 00:30:38,002 Hey, good morning, Franny. 869 00:30:38,044 --> 00:30:39,629 Trying to set a good example for Franny. 870 00:30:39,671 --> 00:30:42,298 When life gets tough, you smack a smile on your face 871 00:30:42,340 --> 00:30:43,132 and face the day. 872 00:30:43,174 --> 00:30:45,385 How is she so fucking perky? 873 00:30:45,426 --> 00:30:47,345 She's headed for a major crash. 874 00:30:47,387 --> 00:30:49,514 [Franny crying] 875 00:30:50,431 --> 00:30:51,599 -Franny still asleep? -[door slams] 876 00:30:51,641 --> 00:30:52,976 [whispered] Quiet! 877 00:30:57,438 --> 00:30:58,690 [Franny cries] 878 00:30:58,731 --> 00:30:59,858 Ah, fuck! 879 00:30:59,899 --> 00:31:01,526 Everything terrifies me: 880 00:31:01,568 --> 00:31:04,904 SIDS, jaundice, germs, reflux. 881 00:31:04,946 --> 00:31:05,947 [thud] 882 00:31:05,989 --> 00:31:07,031 [Franny cries] 883 00:31:07,073 --> 00:31:08,658 I think the drugs are kicking in. 884 00:31:10,910 --> 00:31:11,870 [laughs] 885 00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:26,718 I can't do it, Franny. I'm not a good mother. 886 00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:32,432 [alarm blares] 887 00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:34,684 [indistinct radio chatter] 888 00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:38,563 Maybe all this is a mistake 889 00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:42,859 That I can't seem to shake 890 00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:47,572 But the way we live is the way we die 891 00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:50,116 Holy shit, it costs $4,000 new. 892 00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,452 Yeah, that's going on Craigslist. 893 00:31:52,493 --> 00:31:53,912 We'll steal the stroller someone wants 894 00:31:53,953 --> 00:31:57,332 instead of finding someone who wants the stroller we have. 895 00:31:57,373 --> 00:31:59,250 -[phone chimes] -Hi, you contacted me 896 00:31:59,292 --> 00:32:00,418 about the Baby Bugaboo? 897 00:32:00,460 --> 00:32:01,669 Yes, it's still here. 898 00:32:01,711 --> 00:32:02,962 How much did you want again? 899 00:32:03,004 --> 00:32:04,297 How about 1,500? 900 00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:05,381 You're haggling with me? 901 00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:06,591 Isn't that what Craigslist is all about? 902 00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,135 It's also about people advertising baby stuff 903 00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:11,095 and when the pregnant lady shows up, 904 00:32:11,137 --> 00:32:14,474 they cut the baby out of her stomach. 905 00:32:14,515 --> 00:32:16,100 We have such a bright life now. 906 00:32:16,142 --> 00:32:20,188 Double stroller. We could get a lot for that. 907 00:32:20,229 --> 00:32:22,649 [baby crying] 908 00:32:26,361 --> 00:32:27,570 Shit. 909 00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:30,281 [baby crying] 910 00:32:31,908 --> 00:32:34,702 [Liam] So my two role models are either a teen mom 911 00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:35,870 or a white boy drug dealer. 912 00:32:35,912 --> 00:32:37,997 [chuckles] 913 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:39,499 smooth music 914 00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:40,583 All right, I'm out. 915 00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:42,919 Off to deal drugs on a Saturday morning? 916 00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,045 Yep. 917 00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:45,254 Impressive work ethic, son. 918 00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:47,090 What's in those bags, Carl? 919 00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:48,841 Horse. 920 00:32:48,883 --> 00:32:51,135 Why are you taping horse to my tummy? 921 00:32:51,177 --> 00:32:53,680 'Cause I'm your uncle, and you're my niece, 922 00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:55,932 and you do what I say. 923 00:32:55,974 --> 00:32:58,059 Okay, Uncle Carl. 924 00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:05,817 Whoo 925 00:33:07,485 --> 00:33:11,030 [dog barking] 926 00:33:11,072 --> 00:33:13,199 You alone? 927 00:33:13,241 --> 00:33:14,909 Uncle Carl! 928 00:33:14,951 --> 00:33:16,619 [officer] Chicago Police, open up! 929 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:18,663 Go, run. 930 00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:21,207 [police sirens] 931 00:33:28,214 --> 00:33:29,507 Put your hands in the air now! 932 00:33:29,549 --> 00:33:32,260 All right, don't shoot! I'm white! 933 00:33:32,301 --> 00:33:33,803 Do you regret what you've done, Carl? 934 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:35,179 I did something really dumb, 935 00:33:35,221 --> 00:33:36,806 and I shouldn't have. 936 00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:40,643 I trusted a fucking retard with a man's job. 937 00:33:40,685 --> 00:33:42,103 Next time I move a bunch of drugs, 938 00:33:42,145 --> 00:33:43,563 I'll be smarter. 939 00:33:43,604 --> 00:33:45,815 [judge] That's not what I was hoping to hear. 940 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,150 I know what you were hoping to hear. 941 00:33:47,191 --> 00:33:49,318 If Your Honor would lose 20 pounds, 942 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,446 I would consider tapping that. 943 00:33:51,487 --> 00:33:53,322 I sentence you to the maximum of one year 944 00:33:53,364 --> 00:33:54,699 at the Illinois Department of Corrections 945 00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:56,325 Juvenile Justice Division. 946 00:33:56,367 --> 00:33:57,702 Yes, please. 947 00:33:57,744 --> 00:33:59,954 Why the fuck did you do that, Carl? 948 00:33:59,996 --> 00:34:02,665 My street cred will be off the chain. 949 00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:05,168 -We'll send letters. -He'll be okay. 950 00:34:05,209 --> 00:34:06,419 Hell, he's gonna be running the joint. 951 00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:08,337 Any chance he'll get scared straight? 952 00:34:08,379 --> 00:34:09,630 -No. -Hell no. 953 00:34:12,717 --> 00:34:14,719 I know what you did. Kept your mouth shut. 954 00:34:14,761 --> 00:34:17,889 Coulda gave him up, coulda made things easier for yourself. 955 00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:18,806 Word. 956 00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:21,100 -[Carl] Forty-nine, fifty. -Gallagher. 957 00:34:21,142 --> 00:34:21,934 Ready to go? 958 00:34:21,976 --> 00:34:23,811 Sweat 959 00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:25,730 Work 960 00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:26,564 Sweat 961 00:34:26,606 --> 00:34:28,483 [man] White Boy Carl! 962 00:34:28,524 --> 00:34:30,777 [all] White Boy Carl! White Boy Carl! 963 00:34:30,818 --> 00:34:33,571 White Boy Carl! White Boy Carl! 964 00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:34,781 White Boy carl! 965 00:34:34,822 --> 00:34:35,907 Hey 966 00:34:40,119 --> 00:34:41,579 Where you want these at, Mr. Gallagher? 967 00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:43,539 Right over there with the rest of the shipment. 968 00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:45,083 [Fiona] What the hell is going on? 969 00:34:45,124 --> 00:34:47,168 [Carl] Upgraded the crib since it's technically mine now. 970 00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:49,670 [Fiona] Ah, not with my name on the deed, it's not. 971 00:34:49,712 --> 00:34:50,630 My money, it is. 972 00:34:50,671 --> 00:34:51,923 Place gonna be popping. You feel me? 973 00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:55,718 Shut your mouth, shut up 974 00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,429 - Shut your mouth -Thug for life, homes. 975 00:34:58,471 --> 00:34:59,806 -[Carl] I gotta bounce. - Bye 976 00:34:59,847 --> 00:35:01,224 You stay out front while I go in 977 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,810 and offer Mr. Wu a little neighborhood protection policy. 978 00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:07,730 Who brings the fight to your door like us 979 00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:10,274 Like taking candy from an Asian dry cleaner. 980 00:35:10,316 --> 00:35:11,567 Where you getting all this money? 981 00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:12,735 Job, saved up. 982 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,654 You better not be selling drugs again, Carl. 983 00:35:14,695 --> 00:35:15,780 No. 984 00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:17,115 Next. 985 00:35:17,156 --> 00:35:18,574 You know why you're here? 986 00:35:18,616 --> 00:35:20,159 I need to buy a gun. 987 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:21,828 Glock 17. 988 00:35:21,869 --> 00:35:24,163 A mere $300. 989 00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:25,248 Walk tall. 990 00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:26,791 -Students talk. -So? 991 00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:28,000 I want a Glock. 992 00:35:28,042 --> 00:35:31,003 A nine-millimeter semi with an extended mag. 993 00:35:31,045 --> 00:35:33,589 We're talking about a Smith & Wesson Lady model. 994 00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:36,968 Pink handle would be nice. 995 00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:39,178 -[woman] Gun! -[all screaming] 996 00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,514 Get your hands in the air 997 00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:43,599 And say yeah 998 00:35:43,641 --> 00:35:44,767 [Debbie] What are you doing? 999 00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:46,978 The new-and-improved Liam, or Lil G for short. 1000 00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:49,564 Are you sure you're not just leaning into Black stereotypes? 1001 00:35:49,605 --> 00:35:52,692 No, I'm leaning into being a Gallagher. 1002 00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:55,444 Okay, I'm going live. 1003 00:35:56,445 --> 00:35:57,280 What up, what up? 1004 00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:58,614 It's your boy Lil G 1005 00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:00,575 coming at you live from the Gallagher house. 1006 00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:02,952 Let me give you a tour. 1007 00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:06,706 Is that what he really thinks of us? 1008 00:36:06,747 --> 00:36:07,707 Yeah. 1009 00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:09,667 We did what we had to do to survive. 1010 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:11,502 rock music 1011 00:36:11,544 --> 00:36:13,588 You in this game for life, motherfucker. 1012 00:36:13,629 --> 00:36:14,881 I need to get out of the game. 1013 00:36:14,922 --> 00:36:16,340 Can I get my old job back? 1014 00:36:16,382 --> 00:36:18,009 I need money for military school. 1015 00:36:20,428 --> 00:36:21,596 [man] Oh, what the fuck? 1016 00:36:21,637 --> 00:36:23,306 [Carl] Shit, I got him. 1017 00:36:23,347 --> 00:36:24,515 [man groans] 1018 00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:26,642 [Carl] I see you found the little copper treat I left you. 1019 00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:27,560 Who are you? 1020 00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:28,811 I'm your worst fucking nightmare. 1021 00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:31,439 You know what makes a man? Discipline. 1022 00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:32,690 Conviction. 1023 00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:33,941 Strength of character. 1024 00:36:33,983 --> 00:36:38,571 Deciding against all odds you alone define your destiny. 1025 00:36:38,613 --> 00:36:40,489 I want to be able to see my face in these 1026 00:36:40,531 --> 00:36:42,074 by the end of the day. 1027 00:36:42,116 --> 00:36:43,367 [Fiona] Well, I can lend you the money. 1028 00:36:43,409 --> 00:36:45,453 No, I need to earn my own way back into school. 1029 00:36:45,494 --> 00:36:47,246 I already got someone on dishes. 1030 00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:49,123 I'll empty and clean the grease trap. 1031 00:36:52,293 --> 00:36:53,878 [retches] 1032 00:36:59,133 --> 00:37:02,511 Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what the fuck is that smell? 1033 00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:04,680 Fuck, it's like rotten, rancid eggs. 1034 00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:06,474 No time to shower. 1035 00:37:06,515 --> 00:37:07,934 "Need the car to make money? 1036 00:37:07,975 --> 00:37:10,519 Thanks. Carl." 1037 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,355 -You called for an Uber? -[woman] You Kendrick? 1038 00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,398 -I'm Carl. Where you going? -No thank you. 1039 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,109 I charge ten bucks less than whatever you were gonna pay. 1040 00:37:17,151 --> 00:37:19,320 Okay. 1041 00:37:19,362 --> 00:37:22,156 Carl, I said no Uber. That's my car! 1042 00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,576 You can't just take it whenever you feel like it. 1043 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,496 You did it, man. You're clean. 1044 00:37:28,537 --> 00:37:29,580 [man] Thank you. 1045 00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:30,873 Who the hell is this? 1046 00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:32,124 This is my girlfriend. 1047 00:37:32,166 --> 00:37:33,501 I was at Betty Ford three times. 1048 00:37:33,542 --> 00:37:35,795 It didn't work for me, cost a fortune. 1049 00:37:35,836 --> 00:37:37,296 You cleaned me up in five days. 1050 00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:38,381 Here. 1051 00:37:38,422 --> 00:37:40,258 That's five grand from my parents. 1052 00:37:40,299 --> 00:37:44,136 Plus, Nora-Jean's folks are gonna give you 2,500 1053 00:37:44,178 --> 00:37:47,390 for the Beaver Trap Detox Special. 1054 00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:50,518 In 72 hours, you will be free of your addiction. 1055 00:37:50,559 --> 00:37:52,478 Livestock's been fed and watered, sir. 1056 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,730 Jesus, Carl, your involuntary detox program 1057 00:37:54,772 --> 00:37:56,023 is stinking up the whole house. 1058 00:37:56,065 --> 00:37:57,108 It smells like afterbirth down there. 1059 00:37:57,149 --> 00:37:58,734 [Carl] I will now begin intake. 1060 00:37:58,776 --> 00:38:00,820 State your name and your parents' net worth 1061 00:38:00,861 --> 00:38:03,114 in a loud and clear voice. 1062 00:38:03,155 --> 00:38:06,075 I know you're selling vape pens to little Mexican kids, 1063 00:38:06,117 --> 00:38:07,785 and I want to go into business with you. 1064 00:38:07,827 --> 00:38:08,911 We'll split profits 50/50. 1065 00:38:08,953 --> 00:38:10,288 Liam and I will go to the playground, 1066 00:38:10,329 --> 00:38:13,666 round up new buyers, and here is your supplies. 1067 00:38:13,708 --> 00:38:14,583 Menthol? 1068 00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:17,128 Trust me, my customers will love it. 1069 00:38:18,546 --> 00:38:19,714 [Winslow] You can ride with me. 1070 00:38:19,755 --> 00:38:21,007 We'll get to know each other better. 1071 00:38:21,048 --> 00:38:24,260 [siren blares] 1072 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:25,553 He's running. 1073 00:38:25,594 --> 00:38:27,638 Stay in the car. 1074 00:38:29,223 --> 00:38:31,600 Hey, stop! 1075 00:38:31,642 --> 00:38:32,601 [grunts] 1076 00:38:32,643 --> 00:38:35,104 -Who the hell are you? -The law, motherfucker! 1077 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,315 Don't hit your head on the way in, punk. 1078 00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:42,111 Well, I'll be damned. 1079 00:38:42,153 --> 00:38:45,031 You got any more tricks up your sleeve? 1080 00:38:45,072 --> 00:38:47,116 Thanks for the ride, Sergeant Winslow. 1081 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,576 What was all that about? 1082 00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:50,077 Think I wanna be a cop. 1083 00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:51,787 I'm here to join the police academy. 1084 00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:53,497 I have three skills to offer you, sir. 1085 00:38:53,539 --> 00:38:55,791 I like to choke things, I'm good with weapons, 1086 00:38:55,833 --> 00:38:57,543 and I got a buttload of rage in my heart. 1087 00:38:57,585 --> 00:38:59,837 I think I've got a place better suited for your talent. 1088 00:38:59,879 --> 00:39:01,172 Sanitation department. 1089 00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:02,840 Breakfast is served. 1090 00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:04,508 You guys eat out of the garbage? 1091 00:39:04,550 --> 00:39:05,760 You just show up out of nowhere, 1092 00:39:05,801 --> 00:39:07,762 acting like you're too good to eat a dumpster bagel. 1093 00:39:07,803 --> 00:39:09,889 Strikes me as a little suspicious. 1094 00:39:09,930 --> 00:39:11,140 Eat. 1095 00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,808 Except cinnamon raisin. Those go to the boss man. 1096 00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:14,560 Suddenly magic 1097 00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:16,979 -[horn blares] -We're finishing up. 1098 00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,023 Move it up. 1099 00:39:20,316 --> 00:39:21,859 Come on back. 1100 00:39:25,446 --> 00:39:26,405 Fuck that guy. 1101 00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:27,740 Beautiful world 1102 00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:28,741 [man groaning] 1103 00:39:28,783 --> 00:39:30,743 [man] We ain't got no free services, you heard? 1104 00:39:30,785 --> 00:39:32,286 So give us what you owe, or we're gonna be 1105 00:39:32,328 --> 00:39:34,830 at every open house you got. 1106 00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:36,248 What's up with the open house thing? 1107 00:39:36,290 --> 00:39:39,126 You ask a lot of questions, Gallagher. 1108 00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:40,878 -You a cop, Carl? -Hell no. 1109 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:42,838 Sir, garbage is dirty. 1110 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,507 Keep it up. You're gonna make one hell 1111 00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:46,217 of a cop someday, Gallagher. 1112 00:39:46,258 --> 00:39:48,135 See, it's not all bad. 1113 00:39:48,177 --> 00:39:50,513 Yeah, well, I made something of myself. 1114 00:39:50,554 --> 00:39:53,349 How am I gonna afford $375? 1115 00:39:53,391 --> 00:39:55,684 -You could get a job. -Is The Alibi hiring? 1116 00:39:55,726 --> 00:39:56,811 I need to get a job. 1117 00:39:56,852 --> 00:39:59,563 I wanted to ask if it would be okay if I worked here. 1118 00:39:59,605 --> 00:40:03,359 That's 75 cents a pound. That will be $13.50, please. 1119 00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,402 You overcharged her. 1120 00:40:04,443 --> 00:40:05,903 It's 50 cents a pound. Sign's in the window. 1121 00:40:05,945 --> 00:40:07,363 I took that sign down. 1122 00:40:07,405 --> 00:40:08,739 Fifty cents a pound is low. 1123 00:40:08,781 --> 00:40:11,033 As long as it's under a dollar, nobody really does the math, 1124 00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,035 and we increase profits by 50%. 1125 00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:14,578 Smart. 1126 00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:16,622 smooth music 1127 00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:19,291 That'll show those misogynistic motherfuckers. 1128 00:40:19,333 --> 00:40:21,836 Only two dicks left. 1129 00:40:21,877 --> 00:40:22,962 -En garde! -Ooh! 1130 00:40:23,003 --> 00:40:24,130 [laughter] 1131 00:40:24,171 --> 00:40:25,756 Okay, who's next? 1132 00:40:32,847 --> 00:40:36,142 -[woman] You cunt! -[Fiona] I tried to be nice. 1133 00:40:37,726 --> 00:40:38,811 Open the gate. 1134 00:40:38,853 --> 00:40:40,855 And good afternoon to you too, sir. 1135 00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:47,069 [engine revs] 1136 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:56,370 [man] Who the fuck welded a dumpster to my fucking car? 1137 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,747 [camera shutter clicks] 1138 00:40:58,789 --> 00:41:01,125 [Debbie] Okay, now let's do some without my helmet. 1139 00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:05,754 How does my hair look? 1140 00:41:05,796 --> 00:41:07,381 I don't know, red? 1141 00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:08,883 Just take the pictures. 1142 00:41:08,924 --> 00:41:10,259 What do you need these for? 1143 00:41:10,301 --> 00:41:12,219 I'm trying to get some freelance welding work. 1144 00:41:12,261 --> 00:41:15,055 Hi, I'm here to discuss payment options for my class, 1145 00:41:15,097 --> 00:41:16,515 Advanced Arc Welding, second level. 1146 00:41:16,557 --> 00:41:19,185 Bring this back tomorrow with 300 bucks. 1147 00:41:19,226 --> 00:41:21,854 Added to the 200 that you already put down, 1148 00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:24,190 that's 20% of the tuition. 1149 00:41:24,231 --> 00:41:26,400 I can't bend past that. 1150 00:41:26,442 --> 00:41:27,735 Thank you. 1151 00:41:27,776 --> 00:41:29,278 [dog barks] 1152 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:30,946 -Toto! -[barks] 1153 00:41:30,988 --> 00:41:33,949 Toto, Toto, stop. 1154 00:41:33,991 --> 00:41:35,451 [siren blares] 1155 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:37,244 -Go. -Yo, ditch the weed! 1156 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:44,752 What the hell? 1157 00:41:44,793 --> 00:41:46,253 Is that what you've been barking at? 1158 00:41:46,295 --> 00:41:48,214 Think I may have a cheap supplier 1159 00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:49,465 who specializes in weed. 1160 00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:52,426 How much do we need to sell to make 300 bucks by tomorrow? 1161 00:41:52,468 --> 00:41:54,887 I can unload it. Who's your supplier? 1162 00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:57,431 He goes by the street name Toto. 1163 00:41:57,473 --> 00:41:58,682 [Toto barks] 1164 00:42:06,857 --> 00:42:08,484 Good boy, Toto. 1165 00:42:12,988 --> 00:42:16,700 Ah, Mommy's gonna get her tuition. 1166 00:42:16,742 --> 00:42:18,953 Hi, sign me up for second semester, please. 1167 00:42:18,994 --> 00:42:22,206 Oh, it's good to see you made it back. 1168 00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:26,460 Don't ask. [chuckles] 1169 00:42:26,502 --> 00:42:28,337 You guys, Farhad found me a temp job 1170 00:42:28,379 --> 00:42:29,755 that pays 40 bucks an hour. 1171 00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:31,590 -Oh, yeah? -Some nighttime welding gig. 1172 00:42:31,632 --> 00:42:34,134 Oh, nighttime welding. Sounds kinda sketchy, Debs. 1173 00:42:34,176 --> 00:42:36,595 It took me two weeks to make 300 bucks walking dogs. 1174 00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:38,639 I can handle sketchy. 1175 00:42:38,681 --> 00:42:40,599 [man] Hey, scab motherfucker! 1176 00:42:40,641 --> 00:42:42,017 [indistinct chatter] 1177 00:42:42,059 --> 00:42:44,562 [man] Go, go! Fucking run! 1178 00:42:44,603 --> 00:42:47,314 Debbie, Debbie, run! 1179 00:42:47,356 --> 00:42:49,900 Come here, you motherfucker! 1180 00:42:51,026 --> 00:42:53,070 [man] Shit! 1181 00:42:53,112 --> 00:42:55,322 [indistinct shouting] 1182 00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:56,991 It's wrong and it's dangerous. 1183 00:42:57,032 --> 00:42:58,200 I'm never being a scab again. 1184 00:42:58,242 --> 00:43:00,494 [Farhad] Hey, I just got a tip for another gig. 1185 00:43:00,536 --> 00:43:02,454 Pays even more. 1186 00:43:02,496 --> 00:43:03,455 I'm in. 1187 00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,708 upbeat music 1188 00:43:05,749 --> 00:43:07,001 -[loud crunch] -[screaming] 1189 00:43:07,042 --> 00:43:08,460 [Farhad] Debbie! 1190 00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:11,005 -[Debbie screaming] -Call 911! 1191 00:43:11,046 --> 00:43:13,048 [groaning] 1192 00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:14,717 [Debbie sighs] 1193 00:43:14,758 --> 00:43:16,552 Whoa. 1194 00:43:16,594 --> 00:43:18,220 Okay, just how we practiced. 1195 00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:20,598 Start with the little one, cut the joint. 1196 00:43:20,639 --> 00:43:24,059 Once you start, do not stop until you cut off all three. 1197 00:43:28,355 --> 00:43:30,274 Ow! Fuck! 1198 00:43:30,316 --> 00:43:31,859 Okay, let's do this. 1199 00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:33,944 I can see it in your eyes now 1200 00:43:33,986 --> 00:43:36,947 [Debbie groans] 1201 00:43:36,989 --> 00:43:39,450 It ain't no secret and there won't be no surprise now 1202 00:43:39,491 --> 00:43:40,868 Shit! 1203 00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:43,537 [groans] 1204 00:43:43,579 --> 00:43:45,873 Seen that look on you before 1205 00:43:45,914 --> 00:43:49,001 There's only one way this can go 1206 00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:52,129 What you waiting for 1207 00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:55,257 I know you like it 1208 00:43:55,299 --> 00:43:58,260 I know you do 1209 00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:01,847 I know you crave it, I know 1210 00:44:01,889 --> 00:44:03,390 What you waiting for 1211 00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:06,101 [Carl] I mean, I'm a much better role model to Liam. 1212 00:44:06,143 --> 00:44:07,478 You'll always be a teen mom. 1213 00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:08,771 Okay, White Boy Carl. 1214 00:44:08,812 --> 00:44:10,189 Do you want some mayonnaise to go along 1215 00:44:10,230 --> 00:44:11,357 with that cultural appropriation? 1216 00:44:11,398 --> 00:44:12,816 Fuck you, 15 and pregnant. 1217 00:44:12,858 --> 00:44:14,943 MTV ain't shit anymore, and neither are you. 1218 00:44:14,985 --> 00:44:17,529 Well, at least I didn't turn on my own and become a cop. 1219 00:44:17,571 --> 00:44:19,698 At least I can wear open-toed shoes. 1220 00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:21,492 [scoffs] 1221 00:44:25,788 --> 00:44:27,206 Are you serious? 1222 00:44:27,247 --> 00:44:28,916 Fight me, bitch. 1223 00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:30,376 rock music 1224 00:44:30,417 --> 00:44:32,795 [grunting] 1225 00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:36,256 Ow! 1226 00:44:36,298 --> 00:44:38,258 -Who are you? -Kyle. 1227 00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:39,301 What's your business here? 1228 00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:40,678 I may or may not be related 1229 00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:42,304 to your neighbor, Kevin. 1230 00:44:42,346 --> 00:44:45,099 Yo, period! Period! 1231 00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:47,518 [laughter] 1232 00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:03,367 Yes! 1233 00:45:03,409 --> 00:45:06,745 Oh, my God, I totally almost drowned a slut. 1234 00:45:06,787 --> 00:45:08,497 [Frank] What's the matter with you? 1235 00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:11,041 [Debbie groans, sighs] 1236 00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:13,377 Oh, it was a piece of shit anyway. 1237 00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:15,921 [indistinct shouting] 1238 00:45:19,508 --> 00:45:20,551 [Jackie] Never heard of that. 1239 00:45:20,592 --> 00:45:22,720 A girl who had to rape a boy to get laid. 1240 00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:25,389 How does that work? [all chuckle] 1241 00:45:25,431 --> 00:45:27,307 [laughs] 1242 00:45:27,349 --> 00:45:29,893 [grunting] 1243 00:45:32,354 --> 00:45:33,856 [Debbie] Hey! 1244 00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:36,358 [overlapping chatter] 1245 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:40,028 [woman] Get off of me! You slut! 1246 00:45:40,070 --> 00:45:41,447 [Franny] Mama. 1247 00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:45,159 You do not F with Debbie Gallagher! 1248 00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:50,289 You know what I think is hilarious? 1249 00:45:50,330 --> 00:45:52,124 Carl, not the... not the vagina pillow. 1250 00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:54,209 Seriously, I--no. I've been working on that all-- 1251 00:45:54,251 --> 00:45:57,421 No! Not the vagina! 1252 00:45:58,505 --> 00:45:59,798 [groans] 1253 00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,925 Ow! Oh. 1254 00:46:03,302 --> 00:46:06,054 [grunting] 1255 00:46:07,055 --> 00:46:09,433 Hey 1256 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:10,684 [groans] 1257 00:46:10,726 --> 00:46:12,895 [screaming] 1258 00:46:12,936 --> 00:46:14,354 [crowd cheering] 1259 00:46:14,396 --> 00:46:16,106 [whistle chirps] 1260 00:46:20,569 --> 00:46:21,570 -[grunting] -[thud] 1261 00:46:21,612 --> 00:46:24,031 Shit. 1262 00:46:24,072 --> 00:46:25,949 Bullying is bad for society. 1263 00:46:25,991 --> 00:46:28,327 Very good. 1264 00:46:28,368 --> 00:46:31,079 Give me money, chihuahua. 1265 00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,998 [Carl] What the hell are you guys doing? 1266 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:34,750 Waking Frank's spirit. 1267 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:36,293 Why don't you just do this? 1268 00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:38,712 [groans loudly] 1269 00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,464 I'm gonna fuck you up. [groans] 1270 00:46:40,506 --> 00:46:42,257 A new way, 360 degrees 1271 00:46:42,299 --> 00:46:44,051 I've got the power 1272 00:46:44,092 --> 00:46:45,302 The power of me 1273 00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:47,221 Anyone else wanna haze me? 1274 00:46:47,262 --> 00:46:48,931 Didn't think so. 1275 00:46:48,972 --> 00:46:50,724 [groans] 1276 00:46:50,766 --> 00:46:52,434 Hey, jaywalking's illegal. 1277 00:46:52,476 --> 00:46:53,852 [laughs] Buzz off. 1278 00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:54,812 [whistles] 1279 00:46:54,853 --> 00:46:56,772 -[Taser clicks] -[man groans] 1280 00:46:59,942 --> 00:47:01,401 Give me the fucking money. 1281 00:47:01,443 --> 00:47:02,486 Okay, you know what, asshole? 1282 00:47:02,528 --> 00:47:04,530 Pull the motherfucking trigger. 1283 00:47:04,571 --> 00:47:06,615 God fucking-- 1284 00:47:08,033 --> 00:47:10,786 Fucker! Piece of fucking shit! 1285 00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:12,913 West Point motherfucking 1286 00:47:12,955 --> 00:47:17,543 lesbian sister piece of shit! 1287 00:47:19,127 --> 00:47:20,671 Check it. 1288 00:47:20,712 --> 00:47:21,713 Weed bread. 1289 00:47:21,755 --> 00:47:23,549 All you have to do is just like and follow, 1290 00:47:23,590 --> 00:47:24,716 and you get half off. 1291 00:47:24,758 --> 00:47:27,302 50,000 views in the first three hours? 1292 00:47:27,344 --> 00:47:28,679 [light knocking] 1293 00:47:31,098 --> 00:47:32,349 Sasha? 1294 00:47:32,391 --> 00:47:34,142 Saw your video. 1295 00:47:34,184 --> 00:47:35,686 You're, like, Instagram famous now. 1296 00:47:35,727 --> 00:47:38,522 So I was thinking, maybe I was wrong about us. 1297 00:47:38,564 --> 00:47:41,191 [Liam] Sorry, Sash, too little, too late. 1298 00:47:41,233 --> 00:47:42,442 I've actually moved on. 1299 00:47:42,484 --> 00:47:43,694 [light knocking] 1300 00:47:43,735 --> 00:47:46,071 I think that's them right now. 1301 00:47:48,740 --> 00:47:51,410 What's up? 1302 00:47:52,202 --> 00:47:54,496 We'll be upstairs. 1303 00:47:57,332 --> 00:47:59,251 I think he'll be just fine. 1304 00:47:59,293 --> 00:48:01,837 They grow up so fast. 1305 00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,714 To being a Gallagher. 1306 00:48:15,392 --> 00:48:18,478 mellow rock music 1307 00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,483 I play Carl Gallagher. 1308 00:48:23,525 --> 00:48:26,445 He's a very odd kid. 1309 00:48:26,486 --> 00:48:28,739 He'll do what he wants when he wants. 1310 00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:31,491 I had the best day of my life. 1311 00:48:31,533 --> 00:48:33,911 -Did you wear a face guard? -Nope. 1312 00:48:33,952 --> 00:48:36,121 [Lip] How many more dogs are down there, Carl? 1313 00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,247 [Carl] Just Rocco and Bernice. 1314 00:48:37,289 --> 00:48:39,166 They should be dead by the end of the week. 1315 00:48:39,207 --> 00:48:40,292 [bell rings] 1316 00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:42,169 [woman] You just bought yourself 1317 00:48:42,210 --> 00:48:43,253 two more weeks' detention. 1318 00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:45,631 You know you misspelled your last name. 1319 00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:48,592 He doesn't exactly know sometimes what's going on. 1320 00:48:48,634 --> 00:48:50,135 Who was the first American president 1321 00:48:50,177 --> 00:48:52,095 to serve two nonconsecutive terms? 1322 00:48:52,137 --> 00:48:53,513 Fuck if I know. 1323 00:48:53,555 --> 00:48:54,765 But he doesn't really care. 1324 00:48:54,806 --> 00:48:55,933 [Liam] Grover Cleveland. 1325 00:48:55,974 --> 00:48:57,351 Oh, from Sesame Street? 1326 00:48:57,392 --> 00:48:59,436 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1327 00:48:59,478 --> 00:49:02,314 And it's a crazy world 1328 00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:07,194 But I won't fall like a domino 1329 00:49:07,235 --> 00:49:09,404 No, no, no, no 1330 00:49:09,446 --> 00:49:11,281 I play Debbie Gallagher. 1331 00:49:11,323 --> 00:49:13,033 She's a take-charge kinda girl. 1332 00:49:13,075 --> 00:49:15,661 Hey! Only kids under 12 eat for free. 1333 00:49:15,702 --> 00:49:17,204 Everybody else pays. 1334 00:49:17,245 --> 00:49:19,665 She's trying to get through life without problems. 1335 00:49:19,706 --> 00:49:21,792 -[Debbie] Oh, there it is. -[Mandy] Is that a shiv? 1336 00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,001 Yep. Later. 1337 00:49:23,043 --> 00:49:24,836 Debbie tries to be Daddy's little girl, 1338 00:49:24,878 --> 00:49:26,088 but since her dad's drunk, 1339 00:49:26,129 --> 00:49:28,548 it doesn't really turn out the way she wants. 1340 00:49:28,590 --> 00:49:30,926 Frank Gallagher! 1341 00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,302 Show yourself! 1342 00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:34,596 This shit is about to get biblical! 1343 00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:36,765 I can see you're emotional. Let's just-- 1344 00:49:36,807 --> 00:49:39,559 I am as cool as a motherfucking cucumber. 1345 00:49:39,601 --> 00:49:41,770 What's this 600 bucks you've already taken out 1346 00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,772 -of my discretionary money? -New couch. 1347 00:49:43,814 --> 00:49:45,190 There's nothing wrong with our couch. 1348 00:49:45,232 --> 00:49:47,859 You spent six months dribbling your broken leg juices 1349 00:49:47,901 --> 00:49:49,319 and piss all over it. 1350 00:49:49,361 --> 00:49:50,570 It's perfectly fine. 1351 00:49:55,826 --> 00:49:58,370 Uh, Debbie takes care of Liam. 1352 00:49:59,204 --> 00:50:03,125 Hi, baby bottoms. Did you have sweet dreams? 1353 00:50:03,166 --> 00:50:06,586 Like a domino 1354 00:50:06,628 --> 00:50:08,547 No, no, no 1355 00:50:08,588 --> 00:50:10,173 She takes care of Liam. 1356 00:50:10,215 --> 00:50:13,260 [Debbie] Oh, Liam. 1357 00:50:13,301 --> 00:50:14,219 Got him in time. 1358 00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:17,889 For you and me, yeah, yeah 1359 00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:21,101 She cares about Liam, because she takes care of him. 1360 00:50:21,143 --> 00:50:23,270 I'm sorry, I keep rambling. 1361 00:50:23,311 --> 00:50:25,564 How come my key doesn't work? 1362 00:50:25,605 --> 00:50:26,606 I changed the locks. 1363 00:50:26,648 --> 00:50:27,774 You have the rest of the cash 1364 00:50:27,816 --> 00:50:29,067 you owe me yet? 1365 00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:30,110 Nice job. 1366 00:50:30,152 --> 00:50:32,821 When you get the other 18.75, I'll get you a key. 1367 00:50:32,863 --> 00:50:34,114 Time 1368 00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:36,700 Yeah I got time 1369 00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:38,535 And it's all right 1370 00:50:38,577 --> 00:50:41,913 [Ethan] This is kinda like a once-in-a-life opportunity. 1371 00:50:41,955 --> 00:50:43,415 I mean, I'm really having fun. 1372 00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,208 [Emma] It's just really cool 'cause there's 1373 00:50:45,250 --> 00:50:47,836 all these lights and four cam-- two cameras. 1374 00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:48,962 Two or three cameras. 1375 00:50:49,004 --> 00:50:51,173 There's all the special effects and everything. 1376 00:50:51,214 --> 00:50:52,674 It's just... it's, like, amazing. 1377 00:50:52,716 --> 00:50:53,592 It's so cool. 1378 00:50:53,633 --> 00:50:55,010 [man] Go really shy on this one. 1379 00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:57,345 So should I not-- should I laugh still, 1380 00:50:57,387 --> 00:50:58,764 but, like, a little giggle? 1381 00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:00,057 Like ha-ha. 1382 00:51:00,098 --> 00:51:01,224 -[indistinct] -Got it. 1383 00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:03,268 Debbie has faith that one day maybe 1384 00:51:03,310 --> 00:51:06,521 her family will be the picture- perfect paradise family. 1385 00:51:06,563 --> 00:51:08,982 It serves you right for fucking that slut 1386 00:51:09,024 --> 00:51:10,358 with the cauliflower ears! 1387 00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:12,402 -I was not fucking her! -Yes, you did! 1388 00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:15,447 It was a blow job! 1389 00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:16,698 Ow! 1390 00:51:16,740 --> 00:51:17,866 Time 1391 00:51:17,908 --> 00:51:20,535 Yeah I got time 1392 00:51:20,577 --> 00:51:23,330 And it's all right 1393 00:51:23,371 --> 00:51:27,459 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1394 00:51:27,501 --> 00:51:28,835 Time 1395 00:51:28,877 --> 00:51:31,421 Yeah I got time 1396 00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:34,341 And it's all right 1397 00:51:34,382 --> 00:51:37,052 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1398 00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:39,679 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1399 00:51:39,721 --> 00:51:42,516 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1400 00:51:42,557 --> 00:51:45,227 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1401 00:51:45,268 --> 00:51:47,896 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1402 00:51:47,938 --> 00:51:58,114 Hey, hey, hey, hey 1403 00:51:58,164 --> 00:52:02,714 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 96635

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