Original subtitles

{1}{1}23.976 {42}{107}"As a doctor, there are certain procedures you just have a gift for." {107}{169}Oh. That feels so good. Right there. Yeah. {194}{207}Let's have the other foot. {207}{227}NO! {263}{331}Umm. It's just that there is|something wrong with my left foot. {369}{428}You guys would think its really disgusting. {428}{519}I'm a surgeon. I cut people open. / I'm a doctor.|This has been in people. {519}{639}Okay. I have a huge bunion. {725}{780}Sean's coming back in a few weeks.|What am I supposed to do? {792}{912}Well I think the obvious answer, is to draw Sean's face on it,|and tell him you grew it because you missed him. {929}{967}Or...it's a simple surgery. {967}{1040}Uhhh Turk, I think we already|decided on Bunion-face. {1068}{1089}Cut me the hell up. {1089}{1115}Dammit. {1171}{1194}Thanks Nurse Espinoza. {1194}{1327}Turk? If I decide to keep my last name|after we get married, that's no big deal right? {1333}{1389}Course not baby. We'll just have|one of those modern marriages {1389}{1461}where the husband and wife|don't love each other. {1465}{1547}Turk! Wait! Turk! Turk! Whoah! {1579}{1603}You okay? {1603}{1625}All good. {1652}{1737}It's Jack's first birthday, I want it|to be special. I got a petting zoo for the kids. {1738}{1788}And we need to figure out|something great for the adults. {1794}{1903}How about a Russian Roulette booth? And here's|the kicker. We put bullets in all the chambers. {1903}{1954}That way everybody wins! {1954}{2032}Will there be a pinata? Beause I need to know|if I should bring my pinata helmet. {2032}{2107}Would you zip it nerd? The only reason I invited you is because {2107}{2213}For some reason, you have your own Sponge-Bob Squarepants costume. {2213}{2244}It was a gift. {2244}{2284}"From me to me." {2284}{2380}Anyhoo. I'm thinking that|you probably shouldn't come. {2380}{2404}Why not? {2404}{2449}Because her whole family is in town. {2485}{2506}Hey JD. {2506}{2538}"Oh my god! What do you say to a girl" {2539}{2589}"you dumped three weeks ago?" {2589}{2630}I destroyed that video tape we made. {2630}{2668}What tape? {2814}{2882}Danni, if you don't look concerned,|no one in America's Funniest Home Videos {2883}{2924}Is going to think this is real. {2924}{2981}Can't we just go|home and have sex? {2981}{3020}No! Again from the top. {3071}{3107}Now I'll never meet Bob Saggat. {3244}{3292}So is their brother Ben|coming to this thing too? {3292}{3354}Oh yeah. He always has to|make some grand entrance {3354}{3412}that he just winds up depressed afterwards. {3412}{3426}Why is that? {3494}{3538}Cause he never surprises us. {3538}{3558}Even a little bit? {3558}{3571}No. {3571}{3605}Thorns! Ah! Augh! Ow! Ouch! Ah! {3605}{3749}Oh. Bloody. That's good. Now this time try and|do it with your head in a sort of a less jarring position. {3750}{3787}I can't! {3788}{3821}That's perfect. {3833}{3882}Scrubs 3x14: My Screw-Up. {4154}{4181}I'm a prickly pear. {4253}{4301}Can I see that for one second?|Thanks. {4461}{4499}Not a strong moment for you Polly. {4499}{4548}I need to get it started first. {4599}{4673}So you still doing the whole kooky guy who |brings his camera everywhere thing? {4673}{4697}Till the day I die. {4698}{4723}Uh-huh. {4725}{4770}Is this thing made of Teflon? {4783}{4888}You know something? You have slept with both of my sisters. {4898}{5006}That means you and I have something in common. {5061}{5124}I have to get going. {5126}{5151}To weird? {5152}{5199}Nahhhhhhh! {5196}{5284}What's weird is that its taken my best friend so long to come and see my son. {5278}{5355}I mean you get diagnosed with leukemia and then you disappear for two years. {5355}{5389}What is that about? {5389}{5516}Well, it went into remission and I wanted to see |the world in all its splendor and glory. {5516}{5536}How'd that go for you? {5537}{5608}Ehh. Got some good picture though. Here check it out. {5609}{5686}Look. Here's me at the Great Wall of China. {5687}{5760}This is me at the pyramids. {5761}{5858}What is this? Oh yeah. This was|you and me, like eight seconds ago. {5859}{5963}So Jorden tells me that while you were on your world leukemia tour, {5963}{6007}you neglected to visit a single doctor, {6007}{6089}medicine man, or scary shaman with the giant saucers in his ears. {6089}{6216}Psst. Ben. Turns out cancer's the kind of ailment {6217}{6283}that you occasionally want to check up on. {6284}{6325}Fine. I'll get the exam. {6361}{6461}Tell you what. I missed the hell out of you. I did. {6462}{6537}Thanks Perry. I missed you to. {6695}{6771}Damn! Doh oh oh oh! Ha ha ha ha ha! {6772}{6837}YEAH! I AM THE KING OF GAY CHICKEN! {6837}{6895}You deceiving... {6978}{7054}You know Elliot you are eventually going |to have to take off your sock. {7055}{7093}If I do, then from now on when one of you guys {7094}{7140}look at me all you're going to think|of me as giant gross foot. {7141}{7214}It's like that security guard with the hook for the hand. {7215}{7282}All everybody thinks when they look at him is, big giant afro. {7283}{7329}I do think that. {7330}{7352}Okay you know what? {7353}{7429}Maybe it would be better if you focused on |how you are doing this for Sean. {7429}{7514}I mean if there was something about me|physically that bothered Carla, {7515}{7575}I would be excited to fix it for her. {7576}{7615}I mean it would probably make our relationship even better. {7616}{7634}And more... {7635}{7651}I hate your mole. {7652}{7670}What? {7671}{7703}What? {7714}{7787}Baby you said it was your tickle button. {7787}{7828}You made me shave my mustache. {7829}{7882}That was before I knew what was under there. {8060}{8154}{Y:i}Whew. Finally a brother can breath. {8185}{8241}{Y:i}Hello there. {8353}{8402}You wanna quit? Then quit! {8403}{8461}But you sir are a Worthless Peon! {8462}{8522}And you will always|will be a Worthless Peon! {8550}{8617}Sir you know my band? The Worthless Peons. {8618}{8700}Well Chris from shipping and receiving wants to go solo. {8700}{8757}We lose him, we lose our sex appeal. {8758}{8831}He's the only one with hair. What do you think I should do? {8831}{8899}Ted you know my rule about personal problems. {8900}{8966}I'm not interested unless it involves my loved ones. {8967}{9014}Or possibly my wife. {9015}{9050}Doodle all your stuff to that. {9098}{9181}Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Let me powder my head first. {9182}{9258}So should I be worried about the old ticker? {9259}{9311}Oh Mr. Taylor. Let me worry about that for you. {9312}{9369}{Y:i}Oh my god! He's gonna die! {9370}{9427}Ah Newbie. Perfect timing. {9428}{9491}I have to run a hundred fifty dollars |down to the police station {9492}{9534}cause Mr. Jinkies the Juggler, {9534}{9594}who jordan just has to have to |for Jack's birthday party, {9595}{9636}just got a DUI. {9636}{9656}Yeah! {9656}{9691}Only me. Long story short. {9692}{9766}Your new job is to take young Ben here by the hand {9766}{9832}and run every hematological screening test that we have. {9833}{9887}Dr. Cox I can't. I'm already covering for Doug. {9888}{9936}He's on a His-and-Her-Spa-Day with his mom. {9937}{9953}WHAT?! {9954}{9996}Don't ask. The point is, I'm swamped. {9996}{10056}And I'm a little worried about Mr. Taylor here. {10057}{10104}Hiiiiii.|Mr. Taylor. {10105}{10162}For the life of me, I can't figure out his irregular heartbeat. {10162}{10248}I already looked at his EKG, Newbie, and trust me. {10249}{10300}He's not gonna die in the next thirty minutes. {10301}{10380}Now. Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! {10380}{10521}Hey JD. My sister Danni is more of a gentle kisser, don't you think? {10522}{10642}But I find jordan is loaded more along the lines of teeth and tongue. {10643}{10678}Would you please stop it. {10679}{10701}Fangs. {10739}{10828}This guy is supposed to be a great plastic surgeon. {10829}{10962}Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. So who wants what, bigger or smaller? {10963}{11034}My fiance' would like to have his mole removed. {11035}{11106}That? That's cute. It's like a tickle button. {11107}{11162}No it's not. It needs to go away. {11163}{11274}All right. I'll scrap it away and we'll cover it with |skin from the backside of your prothiosis {11275}{11320}So you would be a butt-face. {11321}{11349}That would be a funny nickname. {11349}{11371}No it wouldn't. {11372}{11391}Yes it would. {11392}{11454}God, how long does it take, to fill a bottle of pills! {11455}{11538}I'm sorry Madeline. I hope we didn't wake you. {11539}{11595}It's just that I have fifty patients and I... {11625}{11666}That's a code {11667}{11739}Watch I'm going to get out of this mole thing. {11740}{11770}Whatever, Butt-face. {11771}{11807}Uncool. {11863}{11970}Sir, I think I figured out how my problem affects one of your loved ones. {11971}{12026}It affects me. {12027}{12075}Swing and a miss. {12104}{12212}Oh, thank god you're here. I totally need someone to talk to. {12213}{12284}Usually I would talk to Dr. Cox, but he's out doing stuff. {12285}{12334}Course there is always Laverne, but I'm kind of her boss. {12335}{12387}And I like to avoid getting too up close and personal {12388}{12421}with staff members who work below me. {12422}{12456}As do I. {12457}{12512}See, it's just that I told Turk I didn't like his mole, {12513}{12561}and I feel guilty now. {12562}{12628}You've seen it, you can't avoid it. {12748}{12838}Dr. Cox. Ah. I'm afraid my band lost a member. {12839}{12927}So we're not going to be able to|perform at your son's party. {12929}{13006}Ted. Now even though I never asked you to, {13006}{13062}that is still just ter-ific news. {13063}{13119}That hurt here, {13120}{13140}and here. {13215}{13240}Dr. Cox. {13241}{13289}What's the matter with you there Sheila? {13290}{13332}You look like Maybaline just went belly up. {13332}{13408}Twenty minutes after you left he went into cardiac arrest. {13454}{13483}We tried to resuscitate him, {13484}{13524}but there was nothing we could do. {13588}{13619}I'm sorry. {13645}{13689}Whoa man. Bummer. {13689}{13733}This shouldn't have happened. {13734}{13788}{Y:i}Guilt's a funny thing. It can lead to denial. {13789}{13826}Kid screwed up. {13827}{13926}No he didn't. He told you he has way |too many patients, he's swamped. {13927}{13983}The kid screwed up. {13984}{14020}Okay. {14021}{14058}Darn kid! {14059}{14109}{Y:i}Guilt can lead to compromise. {14110}{14213}Turk is doing this sweet thing for me, you know? {14214}{14236}Men's room! {14237}{14274}Whoa! Hey! {14275}{14347}I just wish there was something I could do for him. {14348}{14466}Know what sweetie? I'm fine with getting rid of this mole. {14467}{14536}But you got to be willing to take my last |name when we get married. {14537}{14604}That's perfect. Of course I will. {14675}{14751}And there she goes. Mrs. Carla Butt-face. {14752}{14808}Dammit. {14809}{14893}But as a doctor, you are around death so much you get used to the guilt. {14894}{14924}And you learn how not to let it keep {14925}{14979}from affecting your personal relationships. {14980}{15006}Brace yourself. {15007}{15055}What are you still doing here? {15056}{15089}I'm on call tonight. {15089}{15159}Not anymore. I'm taking all your patients. {15160}{15211}So wait. You think this was my fault? {15211}{15272}Hey, this is an emotional situation. {15273}{15308}So, why don't you go easy on the kid? {15308}{15365}It was your fault. Now get the hell out. {15406}{15455}Well that was good. That was good listening. {15456}{15475}Kev. {15476}{15499}Yup. {15654}{15701}Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. {15701}{15747}Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. {15747}{15792}Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. {15793}{15826}I got it. I got it. {15827}{15849}All the best. {15850}{15873}Thanks man. {15874}{15979}I tell you what. Nothing says good morning |like a drunken human alarm clock. {15980}{16119}Hey. You've been here for sixty straight hours. |You need to go home. {16120}{16156}You know what I need. {16157}{16222}I need people to stop telling me what I should do. {16223}{16259}Fine. {16289}{16328}You know what you should do? {16329}{16361}Aw. Why are you here? {16362}{16422}Dr. Cox. Can I talk to you for a second? {16423}{16503}Hey, hey, Val. You know, you know what's funny? {16503}{16621}Ever since I started taking care of your patients not one of them has died. {16622}{16696} Look. You want to be mad at me, that's fine. I get it. {16697}{16734}Okay. But jordan called. {16735}{16784}And she wants to make sure you show this afternoon. {16785}{16832}Oh. Right. That thing. Put us down for Ben plus one. {16833}{16882}I'm not going anywhere. So beat it. {16961}{17006}You guys, I don't want to do this. {17007}{17058}Come on. No one's going to call you names. {17058}{17079}I know, but... {17080}{17097}FACE! {17123}{17145}Butt-face. {17145}{17245} Listen. My butt is fabulous. A slice of that up here, {17246}{17286}that's just me spreading the wealth. {17287}{17352}Still my mole is part of my identity. {17353}{17413}I need you guys to convince Carla to get me out of this. {17413}{17453} I can't man. I got things to do. {17453}{17519}Like what? Dr. Cox took all your patients. {17669}{17691}Gin. {17692}{17712}Dammit. {17801}{17822}Nice Hand. {17849}{17882} I meant the cards. {17913}{17971} I got to win my money back from Leonard. {17983}{18030}You know the guy with the giant afro. {18031}{18072}Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. {18072}{18104}Oh right. Yeah. {18105}{18145}I'll go talk to her for you. {18146}{18214}Thank you. I hate her for doing this to me. {18244}{18275} I hate him for doing this to me. {18304}{18382}I don't think he understands that Espinoza is more than a name to me. {18383}{18408}It's my heritage. {18409}{18466}It's also a candy bar in Equador. {18467}{18518}But mostly it's my heritage. {18518}{18599}I just don't want to do this Dr. Kelso, but I already agreed. {18600}{18646}What do you think I should do? {18647}{18744}Well Nurse "Snickers", until now you've just been white noise. {18745}{18786}But since you forced me to respond, {18787}{18841}let me a tell you a couple of things that only a few people know. {18889}{18967} I haven't paid my Country Club dues since |the third quarter of ninety-seven. {18968}{19022}But I sill tee off every Wednesday at eight fifteen, {19023}{19089}and take a bare-ass steam when the last putt drops. {19090}{19245}But more importantly, I really don't care|about any of you or your problems. {19246}{19287}And you can confirm that with Ted. {19349}{19404}Don't those Espinoza's have nougat? {19463}{19483}Can we go now? {19484}{19499}No. {19499}{19519}How about now? {19520}{19581}No. Look as a rule of thumb I don't attend parties {19582}{19625}where the guest of honor has no idea what's going on. {19626}{19687}That's not true. Remember back when you and jordan first got married, {19688}{19743}and we went to go see senile old Grandpa Horty {19744}{19771}for his ninety fifth birthday party? {19772}{19820}Remember he kept trying to get the coat-check girl {19821}{19877}thrown out because she was loyal to the Kaiser. {19878}{19937}Benny, I appreciate your concern, but you just don't understand. {19938}{19982}What don't I understand? {19983}{20018}Well do you see all these people here? {20019}{20088}This is not some kind of senior citizens slumber party. {20088}{20184}I mean if it was, I would have already put Mr. |Foredom's hand in a nice bowl of warm water. {20185}{20255}But god bless him, he's going to go ahead and wet the bed anyway. {20256}{20356}My, my point is, is that if I'm not here, people die. {20357}{20426}If I'm not here, people die. {20427}{20467}Come on! {20468}{20619} Listen why don't you just let me take this |little mental breakdown of yours. {20620}{20692}I'm going to put it right here, in my pocket. {20692}{20756}And that way you can piss off for the afternoon, {20757}{20796}and you can let one of the other nine-thousand {20797}{20833}other doctors around here take care of things for you. {20834}{20923}So you haven't noticed that my supporting cast in this theater of hell, {20924}{20983}is a veritable who's who of incompetent puppets. {20984}{21112}So sorry to bother you Dr. Cox. But I have searched high and low {21113}{21164}for Carla. And honestly, it is like she has gone poof! {21165}{21271}And like disappeared into thin air. Heh. Have you seen her? {21272}{21327}No. {21328}{21399}No. I haven't seen her. {21400}{21481}Well if you do. Ummm. Page me. {21530}{21586}Oh, Ben. Outstanding commitment. {21587}{21665} Thanks. So, can we go now? {21665}{21712}Provided that gets you off my back. {21713}{21755}One more thing. {21785}{21792}Oh, come on. {21962}{21991}You got to forgive him. {22050}{22121}What? They're my shower shorts. {22147}{22192}Thanks again for helping me look for Carla. {22192}{22236}No problem. I'll check the dumpster. {22237}{22316}Ah, we're not looking for dead Carla. {22317}{22366}That a girl. You stay optimistic. {22573}{22677}Ahem. Sorry sir. It's been an emotional couple of days. {22678}{22759}I'm just here to, ah {22760}{22782}get a nasal speculum. {22783}{22860}I just wish I didn't hate that mole so much. {22959}{23073}I used one of these on my wife once. She's a terrible snorer. {23074}{23146}Used to keep me up all night. I made her have the surgery. {23147}{23224}Course that only made things worse. Here's the twist. {23225}{23294}Now, whenever she goes out of town, {23295}{23357}I can't fall asleep without the sound of that gasping, {23358}{23440}wheezing woman lying right next to me. Trust me. {23441}{23505}If I ever met a Japan air stewardess who snores like Enid, {23506}{23556}I'd marry her tomorrow. {23613}{23643}But here's the point. {23677}{23737}You might find out that thing you hate so much, {23737}{23848}is the very same thing you miss when it's gone. {23919}{23960}Thank you sir. {24129}{24169}All right, I'm gonna get right down to it. {24170}{24270}You tell Carla that my mole is inoperable, I will pay you ten thousand dollars. {24271}{24317}Turk! I don't want you to do this! {24318}{24352}The mole's inoperable. {24353}{24375}The deal's off. {24376}{24394}Ow! {24395}{24429}I couldn't find her. {24430}{24451}Don't sweat it. {24452}{24479}See ya! {24509}{24572}Great an open surgery slot just gone to waste. {24609}{24638}Not necessarily. {24724}{24785}Look at this. {24786}{24818}Waugh! {24819}{24844}Oh. {24947}{24988}Those are the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. {24989}{25060}You know you're right. I was an idiot to buy these shower shorts. {25060}{25133}I mean it's not like they come with a complimentary shower wallet. {25134}{25186}Ow. {25187}{25259}Look I just want to say. That what happened. {25260}{25365}Wasn't your fault. And I'm sorry. {25385}{25465}Thanks. I really need to hear that. {25465}{25552}Good. Fun. Let's get dressed and go. {25553}{25607}Shower Shortz? {25607}{25706}For the man who has nothing to hide. But still wants to. {25782}{25830}{Y:i}Acceptance can take a lot of different forms. {25875}{25957}{Y:i}Whether it's accepting that it's okay to show |your soft side every once in a while. {25958}{26030}Well its official. Chris left the band. {26031}{26066}Well Ted, you know what I think? {26067}{26126}Good riddance to him. You'll find another tenor. {26147}{26176}Thank you sir. {26176}{26262} If you don't, who cares? You all stink anyway. {26343}{26418}{Y:i}Or accepting someone you love for just the way they are. {26419}{26476}Can you tie my tie, Mrs. Espinoza? {26540}{26569}{Y:i}Answer him! {26799}{26826}You just kissed my mole. {26887}{26925}So how come you don't have to get all dressed up? {26925}{26972} I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants? {26973}{26988}No. {26989}{27103} I'm glad you made it. Listen. There is one |more thing you have to do for me. {27104}{27145}You can't keep me from getting drunk. {27171}{27243}You have to forgive yourself for everything |that went down the other day. {27293}{27321}You are so annoying. {27322}{27357}Yeah. {27393}{27425}Okay. {27426}{27455}Good. {27496}{27526}Now where is your camera? {27527}{27572}Aren't, aren't you going to take some pictures? {27597}{27641}Pictures of what? {27642}{27718}You know. Crying babies. Covered in chocolate. {27719}{27769}People singing happy birthday to my son, {27770}{27838}who've never even met him before. You know, the whole routine. {27896}{27931}Where do you think we are? {29275}{29319}{Y:i}But in the end, the most important thing to accept, {29320}{29359}{Y:i}is that no matter how alone you feel, {29360}{29545}{Y:i}how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, {29546}{29633}{Y:i}you'll get through this too.