Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,583
Have you ever had one of those
2
00:00:01,619 --> 00:00:05,800
weird, distressing thoughts
where you're just like, fuck!
3
00:00:05,843 --> 00:00:07,486
Where did that come from?
4
00:00:07,510 --> 00:00:10,855
Like something totally
inappropriate or shocking,
5
00:00:10,873 --> 00:00:13,808
like imagining your boss naked.
6
00:00:13,826 --> 00:00:16,699
- Mmm!
- Or punching an old person in the street.
7
00:00:17,545 --> 00:00:21,006
- Or, er, jumping off a train platform.
- TRAIN HORN
8
00:00:21,007 --> 00:00:24,282
Most people can easily dismiss them,
9
00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:26,631
because you know deep down
10
00:00:26,648 --> 00:00:28,519
that you don't really
want to do those things.
11
00:00:28,565 --> 00:00:32,176
But what happens when
the part of your brain
12
00:00:32,185 --> 00:00:35,115
that allows you to dismiss those
thoughts isn't working properly?
13
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:38,416
What happens if you get
those thoughts so regularly
14
00:00:38,462 --> 00:00:43,326
that they start to become a real
challenge to your sense of self
15
00:00:43,451 --> 00:00:45,520
that you just don't know
who you are any more?
16
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:57,901
♪ I won't take all that
they hand me down... ♪
17
00:00:57,956 --> 00:01:02,010
It's a bad day if it ends with you
freezing your tits off in a lay-by.
18
00:01:02,175 --> 00:01:06,478
As of two hours ago, my
life is fucked... literally.
19
00:01:06,842 --> 00:01:09,716
The kind of fucked you
cannot come back from.
20
00:01:10,693 --> 00:01:14,387
♪ 'Cos I'm not like everybody else ♪
21
00:01:14,852 --> 00:01:18,251
♪ I'm not like everybody else ♪
22
00:01:18,698 --> 00:01:21,770
- _
- ♪ I'm not like everybody else ♪
23
00:01:22,456 --> 00:01:26,054
♪ I'm not like everybody else ♪
24
00:01:26,427 --> 00:01:30,217
♪ And I don't want to ball
about like everybody else ♪
25
00:01:30,385 --> 00:01:32,689
♪ And I don't want to live my
life like everybody else... ♪
26
00:01:32,713 --> 00:01:36,400
That might look like a smile,
but it's total delusion.
27
00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:38,320
Oh, I've already paid him, Mum.
28
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,352
♪ 'Cos I'm not like everybody else. ♪
29
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:45,490
- Take that, come on, for the cab.
- No, Mum, I don't want your money.
30
00:01:45,507 --> 00:01:47,930
- No, Marnie, don't be silly, come on.
- Please, Mum...
31
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:50,000
Oh, great, like I gave you a lap dance!
32
00:01:50,206 --> 00:01:51,760
Is there a function going on?
33
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:53,877
♪ And I don't want to live
my life like everybody else ♪
34
00:01:53,901 --> 00:01:57,909
♪ And I don't want to live
my life like everybody else. ♪
35
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:00,057
ALL: Surprise!
36
00:02:01,669 --> 00:02:03,654
- Did you do this?!
- Come on!
37
00:02:04,383 --> 00:02:06,197
And our wee besom!
38
00:02:06,231 --> 00:02:07,838
How did you get everyone's numbers?!
39
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,523
♪ Like everybody else ♪
40
00:02:09,549 --> 00:02:11,651
♪ Like everybody else ♪
41
00:02:11,685 --> 00:02:13,593
♪ Like everybody else ♪
42
00:02:13,636 --> 00:02:15,466
♪ Like everybody else ♪
43
00:02:15,496 --> 00:02:17,469
♪ Like everybody else ♪
44
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,183
♪ Like everybody else ♪
45
00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:21,584
♪ Like everybody else. ♪
46
00:02:21,974 --> 00:02:23,000
Hello.
47
00:02:25,726 --> 00:02:27,956
Sorry, it's the speech now. (SHE LAUGHS)
48
00:02:33,216 --> 00:02:35,120
Speech!
49
00:02:42,147 --> 00:02:43,583
I wish my parents weren't so popular,
50
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,319
- then there wouldn't be so many of you!
- LAUGHTER
51
00:02:49,037 --> 00:02:50,935
Um, I thought I'd say a few words
52
00:02:50,974 --> 00:02:53,135
for Mum and Dad's special anniversary.
53
00:02:54,225 --> 00:02:56,253
And they didn't have any
other kids, so it had to be me.
54
00:02:56,266 --> 00:02:57,840
LAUGHTER
55
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,390
On the plus side, being the only child,
56
00:03:00,408 --> 00:03:03,152
- I do get all the inheritance.
- LAUGHTER
57
00:03:07,088 --> 00:03:08,915
Thanks for having that vasectomy, Dad!
58
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,741
LAUGHTER
59
00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:17,527
Shout out to my pal Helen
for helping me pull this off,
60
00:03:18,071 --> 00:03:21,043
and to Gran for paying for it.
61
00:03:21,399 --> 00:03:23,329
Still got her credit card, she forgot.
62
00:03:23,376 --> 00:03:24,649
LAUGHTER
63
00:03:24,774 --> 00:03:26,844
No, I'm only joking. I just kept it.
64
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,476
No. (SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
65
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:35,920
What can I say about Mum and Dad?
66
00:03:37,219 --> 00:03:38,760
They just go together.
67
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,464
They come as a pair.
68
00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:41,857
They're like...
69
00:03:42,054 --> 00:03:46,143
... trousers or scissors or spectacles.
70
00:03:46,597 --> 00:03:49,400
The world wouldn't make sense
if they weren't together.
71
00:03:49,835 --> 00:03:50,928
You inspire me.
72
00:03:50,945 --> 00:03:52,622
ALL: Ahhhh!
73
00:03:54,619 --> 00:03:56,840
And, on the third Friday of the month,
74
00:03:56,874 --> 00:04:00,986
let's just say you do not want to
be in the bedroom next to theirs!
75
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,840
AUDIENCE MURMURS
76
00:04:03,138 --> 00:04:04,716
Massive third wheel!
77
00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:06,280
Shit...
78
00:04:06,548 --> 00:04:07,804
Um...
79
00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:11,050
Sorry!
80
00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:17,760
MARNIE LAUGHS
81
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,059
SHE SIGHS
82
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:30,051
It's a bit shit for them,
'cos I still live at home.
83
00:04:33,257 --> 00:04:35,148
I'm one of those people who moves home,
84
00:04:35,204 --> 00:04:37,880
er, in with their parents after uni, um,
85
00:04:38,046 --> 00:04:40,940
and works their summer job till
something better comes along,
86
00:04:40,979 --> 00:04:44,005
and 13 months later still hasn't
done anything with her English degree.
87
00:04:45,446 --> 00:04:47,509
Except for write this...
88
00:04:48,508 --> 00:04:51,059
... collection of words.
89
00:04:54,185 --> 00:04:55,617
Errr...
90
00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,724
Uh... Stop...
91
00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:06,481
Er...
92
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:07,956
Um...
93
00:05:11,317 --> 00:05:12,800
Fuck, er... Sh...
94
00:05:13,006 --> 00:05:15,141
Sorry. And my hands are sweating.
95
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,474
Is it hot in here? It's, it's hot.
96
00:05:17,907 --> 00:05:19,485
It's hot!
97
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,520
THEY ALL LAUGH
98
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,600
SHE GASPS
99
00:05:48,366 --> 00:05:50,111
Ah!
100
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,400
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
101
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,021
SCREAMS: Stop it!
102
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:57,320
BANG
103
00:05:57,445 --> 00:06:01,147
Welcome to the fucked-up
mystery that is my life.
104
00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:08,920
Sorry if that made you
a bit sick in your mouth.
105
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,818
I've thought about a
lot of awful things,
106
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,815
but that shitshow was
the mother of them all.
107
00:06:22,977 --> 00:06:26,270
- _
- ♪ Loneliness... ♪
108
00:06:27,613 --> 00:06:29,980
When I was 14, I started having
109
00:06:29,997 --> 00:06:32,600
relentless graphic thoughts about sex.
110
00:06:32,621 --> 00:06:35,130
Not just sex-sex, fucked-up-sex.
111
00:06:35,164 --> 00:06:37,200
Sex-that-gets-you-arrested-sex.
112
00:06:37,449 --> 00:06:40,708
And 3,723 days later...
113
00:06:40,785 --> 00:06:42,555
it hasn't stopped.
114
00:06:42,808 --> 00:06:46,551
♪ The sun ain't gonna shine any more ♪
115
00:06:46,954 --> 00:06:50,736
♪ The moon ain't gonna rise in the sky ♪
116
00:06:51,315 --> 00:06:55,160
♪ The tears are always
clouding your eyes... ♪
117
00:06:55,336 --> 00:06:58,753
It's like The Sixth Sense,
but I don't see dead people.
118
00:07:00,485 --> 00:07:02,144
I see naked ones.
119
00:07:04,802 --> 00:07:08,717
I've turned everyone and everything
you can imagine into filth,
120
00:07:08,914 --> 00:07:10,458
except my family.
121
00:07:11,924 --> 00:07:13,553
Until today.
122
00:07:16,451 --> 00:07:19,324
♪ There's nothing to lose ♪
123
00:07:19,367 --> 00:07:21,287
- ♪ but no more... ♪
- Most people move to London
124
00:07:21,313 --> 00:07:22,835
to seek their fortune.
125
00:07:23,153 --> 00:07:25,533
I'll settle for some fucking answers.
126
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:29,640
♪ The sun ain't gonna shine any more ♪
127
00:07:29,765 --> 00:07:33,946
- _
- ♪ The moon ain't gonna rise in the sky ♪
128
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:37,465
♪ The tears are always
clouding your eyes... ♪
129
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,400
TRAFFIC ROARS
130
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,200
SIRENS
131
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:48,520
♪ The sun ain't gonna
shine any more... ♪
132
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:51,113
PHONE VIBRATES
133
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:57,703
_
134
00:07:58,312 --> 00:07:59,916
I'm doing them a favour.
135
00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:01,923
Nobody wants a pervert for a daughter...
136
00:08:01,966 --> 00:08:04,517
they can't stick THAT in
their Christmas newsletter.
137
00:08:14,283 --> 00:08:16,359
LOUD HORN
138
00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:21,066
_
139
00:08:27,050 --> 00:08:29,545
That's not just a random nipple.
140
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:33,351
That's 781 minutes of
thinking what I could do to it.
141
00:08:33,827 --> 00:08:35,080
Lick it,
142
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,560
suck it,
143
00:08:36,743 --> 00:08:38,075
flick it...
144
00:08:38,372 --> 00:08:40,044
... milk it?
145
00:08:49,297 --> 00:08:51,800
DISTANT SIRENS
146
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,517
WHISPERS: Fuck's sake.
147
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,200
HELEN GASPS ON VIDEO
148
00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:18,435
_
149
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,587
PHONE RINGS
150
00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:31,970
- Hi.
- For fuck's sake, Marn.
151
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,470
Your mum said you're in
fucking London! What the fuck?!
152
00:09:34,534 --> 00:09:37,320
You can't just fuck off to London
and expect me to do nothing.
153
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,092
I was SO worried.
154
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:45,360
I...
155
00:09:45,644 --> 00:09:47,089
I just keep...
156
00:09:47,805 --> 00:09:49,649
... thinking about all this stuff.
157
00:09:49,927 --> 00:09:51,124
What stuff?
158
00:09:51,249 --> 00:09:53,238
You always say that,
but you never say what.
159
00:09:53,363 --> 00:09:54,781
- I can't...
- Shh!
160
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,080
Do you want me to come down?
161
00:09:57,252 --> 00:09:59,120
'Cos I will, I've got holidays to take.
162
00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:00,920
No, I don't want anyone with me.
163
00:10:01,045 --> 00:10:03,790
Well, what am I supposed to do if
I'm up here and you're down there?
164
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,646
(CRYING) I don't know
what's wrong with me!
165
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:09,640
You're just a bit...
anxious, aren't you?
166
00:10:09,809 --> 00:10:11,722
That's what it is, it's anxiety.
167
00:10:11,760 --> 00:10:13,195
Everyone's got it.
168
00:10:13,411 --> 00:10:17,051
- God, you're so mainstream!
- THEY LAUGH
169
00:10:17,226 --> 00:10:18,898
Speak to someone.
170
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:20,407
Please?
171
00:10:22,097 --> 00:10:24,331
I'm really worried about you, Marn.
172
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:26,080
S... s... so am I.
173
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,120
SHE SOBS
174
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,571
_
175
00:10:49,591 --> 00:10:52,134
Marnie Macauley, room 5.
176
00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:55,916
You won't shock me.
I've heard some things.
177
00:10:57,707 --> 00:11:00,941
Er... I just worry all the time.
178
00:11:01,485 --> 00:11:03,880
About sex stuff, mainly.
179
00:11:04,195 --> 00:11:07,912
And what triggers these worries?
180
00:11:08,594 --> 00:11:10,227
Anyone with genitalia.
181
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,400
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
182
00:11:11,660 --> 00:11:14,468
Who has an anxiety attack in
the M&S lingerie department
183
00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,436
or while watching Lorraine?
184
00:11:16,899 --> 00:11:19,180
Oh, um...
185
00:11:19,231 --> 00:11:24,531
So, what is it about those
situations that... distresses you?
186
00:11:26,036 --> 00:11:27,511
Well, um...
187
00:11:27,536 --> 00:11:29,723
With Lorraine, er,
188
00:11:29,851 --> 00:11:32,063
I was watching it and
I noticed her shoes,
189
00:11:32,076 --> 00:11:34,061
'cos she always has nice shoes on,
190
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:38,293
and I noticed the pointy heels, and...
191
00:11:39,347 --> 00:11:41,971
... then I thought about
where she could put one,
192
00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:44,317
like in her vagina.
193
00:11:47,648 --> 00:11:50,400
And then I was like,
why did I think that?
194
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,729
Do I want to do that to Lorraine?
195
00:11:53,286 --> 00:11:54,791
So then I tried to unthink it,
196
00:11:54,821 --> 00:11:56,785
but it just made me think about it more,
197
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,670
and then it was an hour later and
I was still thinking about it, and...
198
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,170
... I couldn't breathe.
199
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,787
That's why it distressed me.
200
00:12:03,211 --> 00:12:04,802
So you mostly think about women?
201
00:12:04,973 --> 00:12:07,537
- Not just women, but...
- You have explicit
202
00:12:07,743 --> 00:12:10,178
sexual thoughts about
them and it upsets you?
203
00:12:11,002 --> 00:12:12,880
Is it possible you could be gay?
204
00:12:15,851 --> 00:12:17,691
Is being gay so hard to imagine?
205
00:12:17,816 --> 00:12:19,170
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
206
00:12:20,023 --> 00:12:23,153
I haven't been with a woman.
207
00:12:24,847 --> 00:12:28,155
I've spent so much time
trying to decide if I want to,
208
00:12:28,675 --> 00:12:31,458
and I moved home to the
Borders after uni so I couldn't,
209
00:12:31,466 --> 00:12:33,898
'cos it's home, and you
can't sleep with a woman
210
00:12:33,906 --> 00:12:35,724
'cos she probably goes
to Zumba with your mum,
211
00:12:35,763 --> 00:12:37,838
and you can't go to the doctor because
212
00:12:37,851 --> 00:12:40,629
sometimes he comes over to play
penny whistle with your dad.
213
00:12:41,114 --> 00:12:43,134
Not a euphemism, it actually happens.
214
00:12:45,406 --> 00:12:47,160
You're not at home any more.
215
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,160
DOG BARKS
216
00:13:14,645 --> 00:13:15,764
- PARTY POPPER SNAPS
- Sorry!
217
00:13:15,772 --> 00:13:18,143
I had it left over from a work
party, and I couldn't resist.
218
00:13:18,156 --> 00:13:21,304
'Cos Marnie's in the house! Woo! Woo!
219
00:13:21,429 --> 00:13:23,224
Woo! Come in! Come in, come in.
220
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,363
- Thanks so much for letting me stay.
- Thanks for wanting to!
221
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,206
You look amazing, by the way.
222
00:13:29,223 --> 00:13:31,268
Oh, thanks. So do you.
223
00:13:32,614 --> 00:13:34,440
So, what have you been up to?
224
00:13:34,607 --> 00:13:37,484
I've not seen you since
school, except on Instagram.
225
00:13:37,514 --> 00:13:39,916
And that one time at
the Co-op at Christmas.
226
00:13:39,956 --> 00:13:42,433
Erm, just... uni.
227
00:13:42,558 --> 00:13:44,169
And moved home for a bit.
228
00:13:44,495 --> 00:13:46,724
- Worked at the golf club.
- Yeah, then what?
229
00:13:47,236 --> 00:13:50,197
Erm... cut to now!
230
00:13:50,373 --> 00:13:51,373
Oh!
231
00:13:51,908 --> 00:13:53,846
I thought you would have
written a book by now,
232
00:13:53,858 --> 00:13:57,269
- or at least have a podcast, or...
- That's why I'm here!
233
00:13:58,513 --> 00:14:02,075
- Thanks again for letting me stay!
- It's fine, it'll be just like school.
234
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,539
Except you'll have to talk to me,
235
00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:05,383
and your friends won't victimise me!
236
00:14:06,326 --> 00:14:07,516
SHE LAUGHS UNCERTAINLY
237
00:14:09,402 --> 00:14:13,175
&So, erm, where's your spare room?
238
00:14:16,883 --> 00:14:18,676
(SHE LAUGHS) Funny!
239
00:14:18,716 --> 00:14:20,741
Yeah, well, I still
need to clear it out.
240
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,668
Oh, you're serious?
241
00:14:23,689 --> 00:14:26,535
Well, I did say it was a little
bijou, but, it's London, you know.
242
00:14:26,573 --> 00:14:30,206
But it's private, it's got a
door. Look, you can close it.
243
00:14:31,042 --> 00:14:32,634
Thanks.
244
00:14:33,036 --> 00:14:35,273
It's just going to be for a
bit while I get myself sorted.
245
00:14:35,297 --> 00:14:37,116
So what made you come to London?
246
00:14:39,241 --> 00:14:42,999
- Just fancied a change.
- Oh, yeah, me too.
247
00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,373
I'm learning shiatsu at the moment,
248
00:14:44,397 --> 00:14:46,862
'cos I work in corporate for
Pets For All, and it's really dry.
249
00:14:46,868 --> 00:14:49,516
I can't even remember the
last time I touched an animal.
250
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,906
So let me know if you want a massage.
251
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:54,928
- Oh, I'm good, thanks.
- Or anything that'll make your stay more comfortable.
252
00:14:54,950 --> 00:14:59,031
Like a cup of tea, toothpaste,
biscuits, sanitary towel.
253
00:14:59,479 --> 00:15:01,885
Oyster card, tourist
information leaflet.
254
00:15:01,922 --> 00:15:03,712
Whatever you need, just say.
255
00:15:03,782 --> 00:15:05,797
I can get you anything.
256
00:15:06,558 --> 00:15:08,048
Except drugs.
257
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:11,124
Well, I can get you cat
tranquilisers from work, but...
258
00:15:11,156 --> 00:15:12,930
It's OK, I brought my own.
259
00:15:13,418 --> 00:15:15,642
- Oh, did you?
- No! (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)
260
00:15:15,685 --> 00:15:19,281
No. Erm, thanks, though.
261
00:15:19,350 --> 00:15:21,933
You're a really good friend.
262
00:15:22,174 --> 00:15:23,589
SHE LAUGHS
263
00:15:24,345 --> 00:15:25,615
Yeah, well...
264
00:15:25,953 --> 00:15:28,862
I'm going to go to the
shops, but these are for you!
265
00:15:28,868 --> 00:15:31,301
- Thanks!
- COCKNEY ACCENT: Welcome to London, mate!
266
00:15:31,478 --> 00:15:33,236
SHE LAUGHS
267
00:15:38,885 --> 00:15:40,992
It's just a roomful of women.
268
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:44,294
I've been in loads of them.
Toilets, fitting rooms,
269
00:15:44,304 --> 00:15:47,589
Emily Bronte Society...
This'll be just like that.
270
00:15:47,632 --> 00:15:51,208
Except I'm wasted, and I won't
have to discuss Wuthering Heights.
271
00:15:52,756 --> 00:15:55,076
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
272
00:16:09,243 --> 00:16:12,148
- Yes?
- Can I get a vodka soda, please?
273
00:16:12,475 --> 00:16:15,545
- Do you have some ID?
- To see if I'm gay?
274
00:16:16,021 --> 00:16:21,212
- To see if you're that.
- Oh! Sure. Sorry.
275
00:16:24,236 --> 00:16:26,130
Thanks.
276
00:16:33,566 --> 00:16:35,261
I like your top.
277
00:16:36,276 --> 00:16:38,370
WOMAN LAUGHS
278
00:16:40,018 --> 00:16:41,860
You can tap here.
279
00:16:43,629 --> 00:16:45,451
Thanks.
280
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:02,065
Can I get you a drink?
281
00:17:02,681 --> 00:17:07,953
- Thanks. I'm teetotal till Tuesday.
- Why?
282
00:17:08,676 --> 00:17:10,756
For this article I'm writing.
283
00:17:11,068 --> 00:17:13,922
I'm like the Duracell
bunny, and my skin is mint,
284
00:17:13,928 --> 00:17:17,257
but I'm boring as fuck on a night out.
285
00:17:17,516 --> 00:17:20,955
Especially when your mates
are hammered by half eight.
286
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:23,802
Are you a writer?
287
00:17:31,936 --> 00:17:33,377
Sorry, do you mind?
288
00:17:33,424 --> 00:17:35,260
She's, like, right there in front of me,
289
00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,757
and she thinks I'm looking down her top.
290
00:17:36,781 --> 00:17:39,347
Which I was, because
that's what I'm like.
291
00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:42,796
So...
292
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:46,287
- ... been gay for long?
- SHE LAUGHS
293
00:17:47,064 --> 00:17:48,849
Who asks that?
294
00:17:49,481 --> 00:17:51,470
Have you just come out or something?
295
00:17:51,595 --> 00:17:54,197
Well, I've opened the door!
296
00:17:54,219 --> 00:17:56,491
I don't want any drama.
297
00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:00,430
Me neither. Erm, I just want... pussy.
298
00:18:04,288 --> 00:18:05,876
So who do you write for?
299
00:18:06,111 --> 00:18:07,574
Ethel.
300
00:18:08,036 --> 00:18:12,103
- It's this online magazine.
- Wow!
301
00:18:12,478 --> 00:18:14,483
I wish I could write professionally.
302
00:18:14,608 --> 00:18:16,316
So what have you been doing?
303
00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:19,596
I've just been living my life.
304
00:18:19,655 --> 00:18:22,978
And then, suddenly, I was
like, "I hate my life".
305
00:18:23,042 --> 00:18:28,793
So, the other day I was like,
"Fuck it, I don't have to do this".
306
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:32,331
I packed a bag, got
on a bus in Scotland,
307
00:18:32,390 --> 00:18:34,555
and got off a bus in London.
308
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,966
The other day?
309
00:18:36,987 --> 00:18:41,050
Well, yeah. Yesterday, I was
like, "I have to do this now!"
310
00:18:41,104 --> 00:18:42,770
THEY LAUGH
311
00:18:51,828 --> 00:18:53,463
Well, we're always looking for interns,
312
00:18:53,522 --> 00:18:55,784
so you should send us your CV.
313
00:18:55,837 --> 00:18:57,162
Yeah?
314
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,519
Cool! Thanks.
315
00:18:59,798 --> 00:19:04,129
Obviously, that will be
redacted if your moves are shite.
316
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:11,921
♪ I feel depressed, I feel so bad ♪
317
00:19:13,925 --> 00:19:17,827
♪ 'Cos you're the best
girl that I've ever had ♪
318
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:24,195
♪ I can't get your love,
I can't get a fraction ♪
319
00:19:26,044 --> 00:19:29,946
♪ Uh-oh, little
girl, psychotic reaction ♪
320
00:19:30,728 --> 00:19:32,995
♪ And it feels like this! ♪
321
00:19:48,779 --> 00:19:51,991
- I'm going to the loo.
- All right.
322
00:20:41,368 --> 00:20:43,039
VOICEOVER: My hand's so sweaty.
323
00:20:43,077 --> 00:20:44,793
Must be like holding a flipper.
324
00:20:44,918 --> 00:20:47,255
Is that desire or anxiety?
325
00:20:50,381 --> 00:20:53,460
Here's a feeling. I'm pissed off!
326
00:20:53,796 --> 00:20:56,799
- Oh, hey, Amber. You all right?
- Yeah, not bad, yourself?
327
00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:59,048
- How's the art stuff going?
- Yeah.
328
00:20:59,173 --> 00:21:01,638
Just... yeah.
329
00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:06,279
Right, after you.
330
00:21:11,746 --> 00:21:14,597
So, what was it this time?
Did you not like her drawings?
331
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:16,267
Doesn't matter, it's finished.
332
00:21:17,872 --> 00:21:20,836
BIKE CLATTERS LOUDLY
333
00:21:26,902 --> 00:21:28,503
Hi, I'm Marnie.
334
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,737
Joe.
335
00:21:31,196 --> 00:21:32,593
Babe, it's not a meeting.
336
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,553
Yeah, sorry, that was really formal.
337
00:21:34,604 --> 00:21:36,078
Anyway, I should let you two...
338
00:21:36,116 --> 00:21:37,375
It's OK, you don't have to...
339
00:21:37,413 --> 00:21:39,139
It's fine, he's going to go upstairs
340
00:21:39,167 --> 00:21:40,772
and listen to James Blake on repeat.
341
00:21:40,897 --> 00:21:42,633
It's what he usually does.
342
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,963
So... which one's yours?
343
00:21:51,133 --> 00:21:53,139
Um, it's that one.
344
00:21:57,851 --> 00:21:59,166
Right.
345
00:22:09,485 --> 00:22:11,081
Just make yourself at home.
346
00:22:12,424 --> 00:22:14,201
It's like Pinterest in here.
347
00:22:15,531 --> 00:22:16,991
When Nanna died,
348
00:22:17,327 --> 00:22:20,238
- I got loads of her furniture.
- Cool.
349
00:22:21,204 --> 00:22:22,842
Not that your gran died,
350
00:22:22,860 --> 00:22:25,725
but that you got free stuff out of her.
351
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,337
And loads of perfume.
352
00:22:33,985 --> 00:22:36,112
I smell like a dead old lady.
353
00:22:36,116 --> 00:22:38,949
No, I'm being serious. Go on, smell.
354
00:22:41,627 --> 00:22:43,064
Do you have anything to drink?
355
00:22:43,390 --> 00:22:45,666
Like booze or something?
356
00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:48,255
No, I binned it all when
I went teetotal, didn't I?
357
00:22:53,061 --> 00:22:54,713
So...
358
00:22:55,954 --> 00:22:57,633
what shall we do?
359
00:23:05,653 --> 00:23:09,613
I'm just going to go to the
loo, again. I drank a lot.
360
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:12,945
It's upstairs.
361
00:23:27,668 --> 00:23:29,076
JOE CLEARS THROAT
362
00:23:33,123 --> 00:23:35,996
Amber told me to make
myself at home, and...
363
00:23:36,725 --> 00:23:42,277
When I'm at home, I like to
relax with a nice glass of sherry.
364
00:23:43,462 --> 00:23:45,118
That's sherry vinegar.
365
00:23:46,523 --> 00:23:48,160
I'm realising that now.
366
00:23:48,444 --> 00:23:51,626
I've got some vodka in my room.
367
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:54,790
Are you bragging or offering?
368
00:23:55,322 --> 00:23:56,745
I'm offering.
369
00:24:00,905 --> 00:24:04,889
Then I'll have some,
with a vinaigrette chaser.
370
00:24:06,508 --> 00:24:07,996
It's OK, you don't have to come.
371
00:24:08,346 --> 00:24:10,590
Yeah. No, I'll wait here.
372
00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:13,814
VOICEOVER: Why did I think that?
373
00:24:14,089 --> 00:24:15,382
Do I want that?
374
00:24:15,507 --> 00:24:16,907
What if I did that?
375
00:24:17,476 --> 00:24:19,444
I can't get distracted by cock.
376
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:21,343
Cocks ruin enough already.
377
00:24:21,362 --> 00:24:24,310
They're not ruining my
first lesbian encounter.
378
00:24:38,058 --> 00:24:41,002
- Straight?
- Well, I'm with Amber, so...
379
00:24:43,344 --> 00:24:45,672
Oh... I've not got any mixers.
380
00:24:48,588 --> 00:24:50,235
Straight's fine.
381
00:25:07,436 --> 00:25:08,694
You all right?
382
00:25:11,488 --> 00:25:13,863
Amber will be wondering where I am.
383
00:25:16,513 --> 00:25:18,879
VOICEOVER: It's like having sexual FOMO.
384
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,479
Why am I thinking about men
385
00:25:20,512 --> 00:25:22,644
when I should be thinking about women?
386
00:25:23,348 --> 00:25:26,175
The only way I'll know
what I feel in my body
387
00:25:26,185 --> 00:25:28,858
is if I feel nothing in my head.
388
00:25:31,937 --> 00:25:34,409
On a scale of one to fucked up,
389
00:25:34,428 --> 00:25:37,427
how fucked up would
it be if I drank this?
390
00:25:58,379 --> 00:25:59,600
I think we should have sex.
391
00:25:59,638 --> 00:26:02,026
Whoa, keeno!
392
00:26:03,850 --> 00:26:05,356
Are you OK?
393
00:26:06,108 --> 00:26:09,812
- You've had quite a bit to drink.
- Yeah, it makes me really horny.
394
00:26:14,907 --> 00:26:16,661
You taste really minty.
395
00:26:20,282 --> 00:26:21,910
We should lie down.
396
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:28,115
- Are you sure? We can just chill.
- Shh, Judgy McJudgerson.
397
00:26:42,694 --> 00:26:44,367
I'll do that.
398
00:26:44,717 --> 00:26:46,524
It's a lot easier.
399
00:26:46,845 --> 00:26:49,475
They get real tight at the ankles.
400
00:27:01,075 --> 00:27:04,737
It's impossible to
do this in a sexy way!
401
00:27:11,933 --> 00:27:13,659
OK, boss.
402
00:27:15,782 --> 00:27:18,254
Oh, your knickers are off too.
403
00:27:18,592 --> 00:27:21,933
I can put them back
on if it's a problem?
404
00:27:22,149 --> 00:27:24,691
No. It's fine.
405
00:27:33,718 --> 00:27:35,643
♪ Are you ready? ♪
406
00:27:35,713 --> 00:27:37,934
♪ Yes, I'm ready ♪
407
00:27:38,059 --> 00:27:39,996
♪ Are you ready? ♪
408
00:27:40,036 --> 00:27:42,156
♪ Yes, I'm ready ♪
409
00:27:42,214 --> 00:27:50,145
♪ I don't even know
how to love you... ♪
410
00:27:50,174 --> 00:27:51,818
Keep going, that's it.
411
00:27:53,043 --> 00:27:54,600
Oh, yes.
412
00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:57,154
Oh, darling...
413
00:27:57,279 --> 00:28:00,227
- Oh!
- What the fuck?
414
00:28:00,862 --> 00:28:04,023
Fuck. Fuck.
415
00:28:04,530 --> 00:28:06,236
What happened?
416
00:28:08,373 --> 00:28:10,466
I don't think you're my type.
417
00:28:11,569 --> 00:28:13,108
What?
418
00:28:19,156 --> 00:28:21,571
I've never done it with a girl before.
419
00:28:25,898 --> 00:28:27,968
I didn't know you were that new.
420
00:28:27,992 --> 00:28:30,908
You're practically still
in your wrapping. Christ.
421
00:28:30,966 --> 00:28:34,832
Sorry. I've really got to go now, bye.
422
00:28:34,867 --> 00:28:38,356
- Well, at least let me get you a taxi or...
- DOOR SLAMS
423
00:28:41,133 --> 00:28:44,084
Oh, you fucking twat.
424
00:29:03,806 --> 00:29:05,573
Fucking stop!
425
00:29:05,876 --> 00:29:08,051
I want it to stop.
426
00:29:16,490 --> 00:29:18,840
- Shit! Oh. You OK?
- Sorry.
427
00:29:18,916 --> 00:29:20,391
I got a mixer.
428
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:25,619
I didn't go out especially.
I was going... Whoa!
429
00:29:26,249 --> 00:29:29,509
- Sorry.
- It's fine, you missed. You all right?
430
00:29:30,606 --> 00:29:32,285
Yeah...
431
00:29:32,410 --> 00:29:35,026
Let's get this out of the way.
432
00:29:35,061 --> 00:29:37,195
No, it's OK, you don't have
to... (SHE VOMITS AGAIN)
433
00:29:37,207 --> 00:29:39,265
What did you eat?
434
00:29:43,982 --> 00:29:46,665
I'm disgusting. There's
sick on the street.
435
00:29:46,790 --> 00:29:49,685
A fox will eat it.
Now, that's disgusting.
436
00:29:50,087 --> 00:29:53,178
- Those people are looking.
- It's London.
437
00:29:53,377 --> 00:29:55,236
Nobody gives a shit.
438
00:29:56,012 --> 00:29:58,433
As long as you don't
mug them or talk to them,
439
00:29:58,456 --> 00:29:59,669
you can do what you like.
440
00:30:00,340 --> 00:30:01,711
That's what's so good about it.
441
00:30:01,728 --> 00:30:03,553
Why do you think people
come and live here?
442
00:30:06,703 --> 00:30:08,388
Do you want my number?
443
00:30:08,808 --> 00:30:12,295
Oh, confusing, and forward.
444
00:30:12,636 --> 00:30:14,316
Give me your phone.
445
00:30:17,013 --> 00:30:20,063
- You definitely won't remember this.
- I will.
446
00:30:20,972 --> 00:30:24,197
I will remember this,
447
00:30:24,523 --> 00:30:26,850
'cos it's quite nice.
448
00:30:30,786 --> 00:30:32,110
Will you be OK?
449
00:30:32,145 --> 00:30:34,571
- You want me to get you a cab or something?
- No!
450
00:30:34,641 --> 00:30:36,005
I'm a feminist.
451
00:30:36,130 --> 00:30:40,623
If you follow me, it's
harassment, so don't, please.
452
00:30:42,624 --> 00:30:45,902
I'll just watch until
you get round the corner.
453
00:30:47,651 --> 00:30:49,698
Hey, this isn't creepy.
454
00:30:54,031 --> 00:30:55,728
This is creepy.
455
00:31:07,227 --> 00:31:10,242
VOICEOVER: People here
don't give a shit what I do.
456
00:31:11,292 --> 00:31:13,799
What if I sucked off that man?
457
00:31:14,301 --> 00:31:16,388
What if I finger-banged that woman?
458
00:31:16,423 --> 00:31:19,054
What if I wanked on that bollard?
459
00:31:26,064 --> 00:31:30,236
I could do anything and no
one would even notice me.
460
00:31:30,734 --> 00:31:36,082
I'm anonymous, a nobody, a
stranger. I could be anyone.
461
00:31:36,116 --> 00:31:38,556
London doesn't give a shit what that is.
462
00:31:53,326 --> 00:31:56,569
I am lost in a city of 8 million people.
463
00:31:56,942 --> 00:31:59,747
But I will find myself here.
464
00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:03,316
Even if that does make me
sound like a massive wanker.
465
00:32:03,676 --> 00:32:06,495
Something is wrong with me!
466
00:32:06,850 --> 00:32:09,725
MUSIC: I Could Be
Happy by Altered Images
467
00:32:15,410 --> 00:32:19,224
♪ I would like to climb high in a tree ♪
468
00:32:19,253 --> 00:32:22,356
♪ I could be happy, I could be happy ♪
469
00:32:22,572 --> 00:32:26,444
♪ Or go to Skye on my holiday ♪
470
00:32:26,516 --> 00:32:30,187
♪ I could be happy, I could be happy ♪
471
00:32:30,236 --> 00:32:33,471
♪ Maybe swim a mile down the Nile ♪
472
00:32:33,663 --> 00:32:37,413
♪ I could be happy, I could be happy ♪
473
00:32:41,070 --> 00:32:43,857
♪ All of these things I do ♪
474
00:32:44,737 --> 00:32:47,156
♪ All of these things I do ♪
475
00:32:47,484 --> 00:32:50,615
♪ To get away from you ♪
476
00:32:51,939 --> 00:32:56,189
♪ Get away, run away, far away ♪
477
00:32:56,224 --> 00:32:58,452
♪ How do I ♪
478
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:03,890
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
34565
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
