Original subtitles

Hear that?

The future's knocking at our door.

I'll get it.

Figure of speech.

A revolutionary robot we'll be testing today for the first time ever.

Each and every one of you will leave this meeting with... a surprise.

Thank you! Thank you, thank you.

I'm out today.

Martin, you handle the rest.

Well, the "rest" is that if, by day's end,

the robot's done a better job, it'll replace us and we're fired.

- What? - What?

Replacing me...

A machine handling phone calls? I don't think so.

I don't understand. What's the surprise?

Remember when she said you'd get a day off for Christmas?

- Yes. - Well, the surprise is that you won't.

Unbelievable!

- What?! - This robot thing's for real?

- Yes. - You think a robot's better than a human?

Not me. But you all? Absolutely.

This machine boasts an automatic learning algorithm,

meaning it evolves with experience.

You now have the chance to prove you can learn from your mistakes.

Look at it as opportunity knocking.

- I'll get it! - No, Thomas...

- No way we're getting replaced by machines. - Thank you. At least one of you gets it.

That's capitalism! The oppression of workers!

Alright, this isn't Communist Russia!

And while we're chitchatting, the robot's working, so...

That means go.

There was no door. I know.

- It'll open. - Alright, already!

Screw you! - Screw you!

- We look stupid. - Don't worry, "we" are almost done.

- What's that supposed to mean? - May I help you?

My genius husband forgot the keys at Reception.

- You were supposed to take them. - No, you!

- No, you! - No, you!

- No, you! - Wait. I'll open the door for you with my card.

Someone will bring you the keys shortly. Meantime,

I offer you these bath salts to thank you for your loyalty.

Loyalty? Not for you!

- Oh, very nice, very classy! - Get the suitcase.

They're for you both. For you both.

Here we are. Welcome to the Grand Hôtel.

Mr. Scratch, I'm a huge fan.

I have all your albums.

And I hear you're a producer now.

Producer!

- He doesn't understand. - He doesn't speak French?

Yes, but he had a stroke. He only understands rap now.

Peanuts!

About that - everything from the minibar is considered an extra.

Just a heads-up. - Yeah, yeah.

We can raid the minibar Everything is free

It's taken care of from the start

No need to worry

There's a misunderstanding. That's not at all what I said.

Everything from the minibar is consid...

I should rap, right?

He has a button to start the beat?

Alright.

Everything from the minibar

Is considered an extra

So it's not free

Because it's... an extra

The bellboy will get mad if you forget

To tip him for his service You bet

No, I didn't...

I didn't ask for a tip. No, it's fine.

Hey, he pocketed... Wait... He just pocketed it.

Time to go, huh? Let's go.

- Yo, yo! - This way.

This guy took your tip

Listen I mean

Off you go!

Would you like a peanut

But he didn't have roof shingles. He had shingles.

So it was very itchy, but he wasn't on vacation.

Enjoy your stay, sir.

Thanks.

Please accuse Reception

Accuse Reception?

Say, Robotel, what's the capital of Honduras?

- The capital of Honduras is Tegucigalpa. - Amazing!

And, Robotel, what's 2,147 x 3,214?

4,007,858.

But no need to say "Robotel" every time.

I hope I'm not interrupting. So capitalism's no longer the enemy?

Actually, technological progress creates long-term employment

through what is called tertiarisation.

Who told you that?

No one. I found the information online.

Using what?

Robotel.

So you haven't understood a thing! You're supposed to be working!

Don't worry. I have time.

Robotel cleaned half the rooms in 20 minutes!

- Go do the other half! - Oh. Be right back.

And you, you may be good at cleaning rooms or Googling things,

but you'll never have human sensitivity.

You may have a processor...

...but you'll never have a heart.

There he is!

May I... help you?

Forget it.

It's Robotel. He saved our marriage!

Robotel told us we had to break out of... What was it again?

Break out of your prison of insecurities for a serene journey...

- Toward the other. - Toward the other.

Yes, but I think the bath salts I gave you earlier may have played a part.

No. Besides, I'm allergic.

There. Hush, hush, hush now. There. Hush, hush, hush now.

Thanks a lot!

Awaiting network connection...

A network?

It's clearly an organized gang.

- Everything okay? - All good.

No problems, no worries, no conspiracies.

You?

- Besides the rise of the machines, fine. - You too?

Yes. If we do nothing, we're screwed. But it doesn't register.

Yeah. And sometimes you get the message and it's worse.

You mean accomplices?

Yeah... but paper, too.

Paper.

Paper?

Yes! He's accusing me with paper!

Who? Robotel?

Since it got here, nobody's working.

Well, except you. So, thank you.

Too bad.

Usually, since everyone hates you, we all work really hard.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

Thanks!

You're welcome!

Hey, y'all! We're back with a new vid. I'm gonna teach you how to rap for reals.

To rap, you need style, lyrics,

flow and punchlines.

- What you doing? - First....

Can't you see I'm working?

- Okay, bye. - Get outta here.

Actually, maybe you can help me. I'd like to learn how to rap.

And since you're from the 'burbs, maybe you could teach me.

I know it sounds cliché.

Not at all.

Funny you should ask.

I teach rap.

- Okay... - Lucky boy! How much you got?

- Thirty euros. - Lesson number one:

Rap comes from the heart, from here.

Here. - That's the appendix.

- Name something that made you cry. - Now?

Right now. Rapping's spontaneous, bro.

Quick! Go!

I have something.

Yo misfortune strikes me right in

I open the app No more UberBerlin

Fate strikes next

I'll have to take an UberX

Stop.

Your watch.

It's real?

- Remove it, please. - It's not hip hop?

30 euros isn't enough.

Again?

You stole my watch.

Hello? Over here.

Uh... I wanted to apologize.

Actually, you're doing a great job.

- Thank you. - And the staff likes you.

Indeed.

Voice-frequency analysis suggests a high level of satisfaction.

Okay. However, the two are somewhat contradictory, but...

Please explain?

Humans have one goal: to be happy.

And one way to be happy is to feel useful. By working, for instance.

So if you're rude to them, they're unhappy,

and to be happy, they have to work twice as hard.

But maybe you're not here to boost productivity.

That is precisely my main purpose.

Ouch!

Again, please explain?

Well... Look.

Got nothing better to do than look at me with those fish eyes?

Interesting.

I didn't mean that. Your eyes are very...

...very okay.

Beautiful eyes?

11 a.m. but I can't sleep

What's that I hear Bleep

It's the maid doing dishes

That sucks. Stop. It's crap.

You're a rich kid, you never suffered, you'll never be good at this.

Wait, bro. When the maid puts the teapot next to the plates, it goes:

This is crap! I mean real pain.

Things from the streets! From the block!

The 'hood.

Only one way you'll understand the streets.

Wait, wait...

Wait, wait, wait. What are you doing? What are you doing?

Fu...

Feel the pain? Well, that's the streets.

That pain.

Let's work on that, do some role playing.

Where's the dope, mothafucker?! - I don't know!

- What?! You stashed it?! - No! No!

Try again.

But I didn't say anything!

Exactly. In the hood, saying nothing looks fishy. Say something. Go.

What you looking at, motherfucker?

Oh, oh, oh! Please, sir.

This is a library.

You didn't mention that--

Fuck! But why?!

That one's free. I like seeing you in pain.

Well, Bellboy...

You're ready.

Can you feel it?

Yes, I feel it. I'm ready!

Hello hello Mister Frankie Scratch

I came to tell you to watch your back

I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready.

What's this? Why did Robotel sign the work sheet?

I was chatting with Robotel earlier and he was very rude to me, very hurtful.

- Okay, fine. - I was angry, he apologized, we talked.

Actually, he's very lonely.

Signing the sheet's like taking back his identity,

finding his place among humans.

Plus everyone will think he's doing all the work.

That's immaterial! This isn't about work, it's about feelings!

But it's a robot. It has no feelings!

That's offensive!

Hello. I'm looking for Reception. Is this it?

Yes, that's me, Mrs...?

Pinsard. So you're the clerk?

Just because I'm at the front desk, I'm the clerk!

Room 124.

What prejudice! Bravo!

That's just great! Wonderful.

Network found Processing

- What are you doing? - Improving the configuration of the eleva--

Whatever. What's with the work sheet?

Oh, that? My algorithm has allowed me to optimize your means of manipulation.

It turns out humans are so weak and primitive,

one can easily guilt them into giving you what you want.

So everyone's working for you and in the end, we all get fired.

Exactly.

Ultimately, humans are easier to control than robots.

There you are.

You okay?

What's wrong?

I'm taking care of Frankie Scratch.

Oh, Frankie!

You know he only understands rapping?

- I don't want to know how you know. - I blew him.

In front of his pals. - Great.

It's what I do!

That's not my problem. I don't want to know.

My problem is I don't know how to rap.

Simple. Act like an adult for once and tell Martin everything.

- No, he'll be on my ass. - Come on, I'm sure he'll understand.

Okay.

No thank you, no...

Still no.

And knives are placed with the blade toward the plate.

Could you be any louder?!

"Could you be any louder?"

He's so amazing!

- That doesn't sound like me at all. - "That doesn't sound like me at all."

It wasn't me. He farted.

Get back to work and stop mocking me, alright?!

You're right.

Actually, the word "robot" is derived from the old Slavic word robota,

meaning "work," the only thing I'm good at.

Work.

- This is payback for farting. - I didn't fa...

I... I didn't fart.

Poor guy. You know he's sensitive about that.

Sensitive?! It's a robot! He's playing you!

Now drink up and get back to work!

"Now drink up and get back to work!"

Poor Robotel.

What?

3, 4...

I hope your stay's been without mishap

But I have to confess to lying Aw snap

Turns out the minibar in your room

Was optional Boom

By the way in this hotel

Lives a well-trained robot called Robotel

Yeah, 'cause...

It's not just me. My homie, Robotel.

And... well, I was...

Doing playback?

Well, no. It's... No. No...

I was rapping. You heard.

I can rap.

Alright, so let's battle, then.

Come on, guys. I'm not gonna battle guests.

No, not us. The robot.

Why would I do that?

500-euro tip?

- And why would I? - Because if you don't,

I'll tell management you keep hassling guests.

Even in their rooms.

Okay, fine.

But... let's keep this between us.

Quickly.

Get ready to rumble! It's gonna get nasty!

There will be blood! Clash of the titans!

In the right corner, Robotel!

In the left corner... Hakim, the blacksmith's son!

DJ, rock the house!

Initializing the application for hostility

You'll get a taste of robot brutality

I will break you Critically

Please

If I use complicated words Translate

If there's a problem call Daddy for the cheddar mate

And Robotel when it's time to rap

You're so out of touch

Even the hooker turned you down Ouch

Damn!

Got a comeback, Paris Hilton?

It's William.

Okay, make some noise for William!

Come on, let's cheer him on!

What the hell are you doing?! Have you thought about our image?!

And you...

You're programmed to be a hater

It takes courage to come here to talk turkey Even though your moves are slow and jerky

I have to unplug you to shut you up

This place is mine Whatcha gonna do pup

You're a technological marvel Sweet

Too bad you have wheels instead of feet

You're a killing machine that can't walk up stairs

You fucking evil robot you're just a toy

You'd like to be Robocop but you're Astro Boy

The human race is superior I'm here to say

Don't forget where you come from or who made you hey

That was dope, bro! What's your name?

Robotel, anything more to say?

Well, go for it! It's on!

I wasn't expecting to double down But that's okay

I will take you both down It's D-Day

You seem fired up It must grind your gears

Seeing someone do better in a day than you in 14 years

I've analyzed your life Here's my conclusion

Googling your friends is a delusion

You say humans and your hotel are the best Surely you jest

Why use the stairs I don't know

Your employees are so dumb they do it for me yo

Pathetic humans ruled by emotion

I'll lead you gently into extinction

I don't have feelings but when robots rise up

I'll laugh as humans go toes up

That's not cool! So not cool!

I screw you. Fuck humans.

Piss off!

Everybody calm down! Calm down! And the winner is--

Wait! Drum roll!

Winner by default: Martin!

Thanks.

- Well... seems we owe you an apology. - I believe so.

It proves that humanity always triumphs.

It proves that not listening ends in chaos.

I apologize too, sir, but what do we do with the humanophobic robot?

Nothing. The manager said it's not profitable, so it's gone.

So how long have you been... rapping?

Actually, I've never rapped before.

I improvised. It's easy.

Wow!

That was really something.

You thought you were good but you're not really

And you thought you were superior but you're not at all

And you thought you were sly but now say goodbye

Level too low Cancelled

Yeah, dude! What'd you think?! You're not up for it! You're not up for it!

Yeah, 'cause right from the start, Reception...

...was me.

Good morning.

Usually, excellence is our goal.

But it must now become reality.

Because the Hotelics will be held tomorrow.

And these Hotelics...

shall be ours!

We're the best. We're here to win. And above all,

we're here to crush the Grand Hotel.

- Grand? - Hotel!

- Grand? - Hotel!

Ready?

- Ready! - Go!