Original subtitles

[WHISTLING]

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

BBBBB, YEAH!

[GIGGLING] GET READY TO DIE, DRAGON!

[GIGGLING] [BURP]

DON'T HURT ME, BRAVE KNIGHT!

[GIGGLING] I'M OK.

[GROWLING, LAUGHING] I SLAY YOU NOW, DRAGON.

[GIGGLING] LOOK, SARAH, FISH AND CHIPS

HAVE FRIENDS VISITING.

HOLY COW, JIMMY.

THEY LOOK LIKE BABIES.

REALLY?

BABIES?

I THINK SO, JIMMY.

WELL, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM, SARAH?

BEATS THE HECK OUT OF ME, JIMMY.

BLUE, 44.

[WHISTLE BLOWS] BLUE, 44.

HUT!

HUT!

HUT!

NOT TOO SHABBY, HUH?

AWESOME.

THANKS, DUDE.

YO, NAZZ.

MAKING JAM?

[GIGGLES] IF YOU SAY SO.

NAZZ!

KEVIN!

[BREATHING HEAVILY] MY FISHES HAD BABIES!

OH, THAT'S RAD, JIMMY.

[GIGGLES] HEY, YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE

BABIES COME FROM?

[GIGGLES] BABIES, HUH?

WHERE DO THEY COME FROM?

UH...

THEY GROW ON TREES, LIKE APPLES.

[GIGGLING] EH, GO FIGURE.

[GIGGLING] HE'S GOT THE TREE PART RIGHT,

BUT THE REST OF IT IS A PILE OF MALARKEY.

PLANK AND I KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

WE SAW LAST SPRING.

RIGHT, BUDDY?

COME ON.

[WHISTLING] SEE? THIS IS A NEST.

YOU NEED TO BUILD ONE FOR THE BABIES.

OOH!

PLANK WANTS TO BE MAMA BIRD, AND YOU GUYS ARE THE EGGS.

I DON'T SEE ANY BABIES, JONNY.

SHH.

YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE WARMTH OF MAMA BIRD TO HATCH YOU.

THIS IS STUPID.

I'M GETTING A CRAMP, SARAH.

DING!

READY!

NOW YOU KNOW.

THAT'S WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

[WHIMPERING] MAMA BIRD SAYS IT'S TIME TO

FEED THE BABY.

[GIGGLING] [BIRD SQUAWKS]

[SLURPING] I SWALLOWED A WIGGLY!

[MOANS] JONNY, YOU IDIOT!

[CRASH] THAT'S IT!

YOU'RE PULP!

STOP!

HAVE YOU GONE CRAZY?

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS QUE SERA SERA?

FATHEAD MADE JIMMY EAT A WORM!

SPARE US YOUR SORROW.

IS THIS ACCUSATION TRUE?

ONE IS A LONELY NUMBER, JIMMY?

ALL WE WANTED TO KNOW WAS WHERE BABIES CAME FROM, ROLF.

HELLO!

[BAA] FLUFFY!

WHOA, NELLY!

COME AND ROLF WILL EXPLAIN AS ROLF WAS TOLD.

[HUMMING] THESE WORDS ROLF IS ABOUT TO

SHARE HAVE BEEN WHISPERED DOWN THE BUSHY EARS OF ROLF'S

FOREFATHERS.

ARE YOU READY TO ACCEPT THE DISCLOSURE OF NEWBORN LIFE?

[INHALES] YOU ARE CHILDREN.

GO AWAY.

ADIEU.

DARN IT.

WE'LL NEVER KNOW, SARAH.

SOMEBODY'S GOTTA KNOW, JIMMY.

HEY!

[BOTH SCREAMING] BRR.

GOT GOOSEBUMPS?

WELL, NOT ANYMORE.

BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO GET YOUR VERY OWN

CUSTOM-BUILT, SWEAT-INDUCING SWEATER!

SELL IT, ED.

WHAT?

WHAT?

UHH.

BUT, EDDY, WE JUST WANT-- TWO?

NO PROBLEMO.

I'LL GET GRAMMA DOUBLE D RIGHT ON IT.

KNIT ONE, PURL TWO.

OH, CURSES.

I MISSED A STITCH.

GET OVER IT, YOU OLD COOT.

OUR CUSTOMERS HERE WANT TWO SWEATERS PRONTO.

[LAUGHS] WE DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID

SWEATERS, FISHFACE.

WE WANT TO KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM!

[BUZZER] BABIES?

I GOT THIS ONE, EDDY.

HA HA HA HA.

BABIES COME FROM STORKS.

THEY FLY THROUGH THE NIGHT CARRYING BUNDLES OF JOY

IN THEIR BEAKS, AND-- [GASP]

THAT SCHLEP DON'T KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

BUT I DO.

IT'S A SECRET, YOU KNOW.

YEP, MY BROTHER TOLD ME.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING.

I-- NO!

OF COURSE, THIS KIND OF INFO AIN'T CHEAP.

50 CENTS AND I'LL LET YOU IN ON THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

TELL US, EDDY.

TELL US, PLEASE!

YOU BETTER BE RIGHT.

ED, EDDY'S SELF-SERVING ATTEMPT TO EDUCATE THE CHILDREN

COULD BRING IRREVERSIBLE HARM TO THEIR YOUTHFUL, GOOD-NATURED

WAYS.

PERHAPS A MORE SENSITIVE EXPLANATION IS IN ORDER.

[CRASH] THAT STAYED ON, DOUBLE D.

READY?

OK.

HERE IT IS.

YOU KNOW THAT LINT YOU FIND IN YOUR BELLY BUTTON?

WELL, IF YOU DON'T CLEAN IT OUT, IT GROWS.

AND WHEN IT GETS BIG ENOUGH, IT RUNS AWAY BEHIND THE COUCH

AND WAITS THERE, JIGGLING.

GETS EVEN BIGGER.

THEN IT GROWS INTO A BABY, AND AT NIGHT, THEY COME OUT

AND FEED ON TABLE SCRAPS.

THAT'S WHY BABIES SMELL SO BAD.

STOP! STOP!

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE.

SARAH!

GREETINGS, CHILDREN.

I'M BUZZY DOUBLE B.

I'M HERE TO EDUCATE, UM, YOU TO THE TRUTH OF LIFE'S

BEGINNING.

CARE TO FOLLOW ME INTO MY HIVE?

[BEEP] LOOK, SARAH.

A BUMBLEBEE HIVE.

THIS ONE LOOKS LIKE FUN, JIMMY.

HEY! WHAT'S WITH YOU?

CATERED TO BY INDUSTRIOUS WORKER BEES, A QUEEN HONEY BEE

IS CAPABLE OF LAYING SEVERAL HUNDRED LARVAL SACS

EVERY MINUTE.

GROSS!

COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!

[CRASH] CAPTAIN STORK REPORTING FOR

DUTY, KIDS.

NOR RAIN, SLEET, OR INGROWN HAIRS CAN KEEP ME FROM

DELIVERING MY BABIES.

THEY'RE CLUELESS!

THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

STORKS, EDDY.

OOH!

[CRASH] EXCUSE ME, EDDY, BUT YOUR

EXPLANATION IS JUST AS MISGUIDED AS ED'S.

OH, AND LIKE YOU KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM.

I MOST CERTAINLY DO.

DO NOT.

DO TOO.

[INDISTINCT] WHERE'S YOUR BABIES NOW,

CAPTAIN STUPID STORK?

OW!

OHH!

AH-HA!

WHY, YOU-- AAH!

OH!

AAH!

[BREATHING HEAVILY] BANZAI!

RUN, ED!

COME HERE, YOU...

EDDY'S MAD, DOUBLE D.

I'M WELL AWARE OF THAT, ED.

BORING!

AH-HA!

COME ON, JIMMY.

LET'S GO MAKE SOME MUD PIES.

I LOVE PLAYING IN THE MUD, SARAH.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING] WHERE'S MY 50 CENTS?

[COUGHING] OH, WAY TO GO, SOCKHEAD.

YOU SCARED 'EM OFF WITH ALL YOUR STUPID SCIENCE MUMBO JUMBO.

OUCH.

AND YOUR THEORY KEPT 'EM ENTERTAINED?

OH, THERE, THERE, DOUBLE D.

IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU ARE SO USELESS.

IF I MAY RE-IRRITATE, BABIES COME FROM STORKS.

[SPUTTERING] THINK, ED.

A CHILD IS FAR TOO HEAVY A LOAD FOR A BIRD TO CARRY.

SAYS YOU.

[INHALES] HEY!

PUT ME DOWN, YOU LUNKHEAD.

DOUBLE D!

DO SOMETHING!

BABIES ARE BORN AS THUS.

[SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY] [CRASH]

SEE, DOUBLE D?

SLEEPING LIKE A BABY.

BOY, IT SURE DOES STINK WHEN I'M RIGHT.

[SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY] ED, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

WHAT?

HEY, DOUBLE D!

[HONK HONK] HUH?

MY HEAD'S STILL ON, DOUBLE D.

HEY!

[RINGING]

SPACE CADET ED HAS RETURNED!

CLUTCHING AT THE PROVERBIAL STRAWS, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

KEEP PAINTING, REMBRANDT, AND LEAVE THE MOOLAH-MAKING

TO ME.

IT'S A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY, KEV.

MOON ROCKS, ALL THE WAY FROM SPACE!

HEY, WHAT THE-- PUT ME DOWN, YOU--

SPACE CADET ED RETURNING TO BASE, DOUBLE D.

GET AWAY FROM ME, SPACE DORK, OR I'LL SHOVE THESE MOON ROCKS

RIGHT UP YOUR-- [TRUMPET PLAYING]

HAIL, HAIL.

THE URBAN RANGERS BRING TIDINGS FROM ACROSS THE GREAT

MASSES OF WATER.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?

DELIVERING MAIL FROM OUR PEN PALS, EDDY.

REMEMBER?

OUR ASSIGNMENT FROM INTERNATIONAL STUDIES.

WHY, I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF AWAITING A REPLY FROM MY NEW

NORWEGIAN FRIEND GERTA.

FOR YOU, BUCKETHEAD ED BOY.

AND FOR YAKETY-YAK EDD BOY.

AND THE NOBODY'S HOME ED BOY.

ROLF MUST DELIVER THIS CORRESPONDENCE TO ALL

THAT PROMISE TO KEEP THE BOOTLICKER AT THE

[INDISTINCT] "DEAR MR. EDWARD,

YOUR VILLAGE SOUNDS MANY GOOD.

I STRETCH MY EAR TO KNOW MORE."

ISN'T HER COMMAND OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE ADORABLE?

CHECK OUT THE HEAD ON THIS GUY.

"MY NAME IS YUK, AND I AM FROM KOREA."

IS HE SCREAMING TO GET FLEECED OR WHAT?

OOH.

MY FRIEND SENT ME A LUNCHBOX, GUYS.

[TICKING] [UPBEAT TUNE PLAYING]

OH, GREAT!

AN OLD WORLD MUSIC BOX.

YOUR PEN PAL'S TRYING TO KILL YOU, ED.

TURN IT OFF.

I'M SKIPPING TO MY LOU, EDDY.

GIDDYUP.

PARDON ROLF, TOMFOOL ED BOY.

WHERE DID YOU ACQUIRE THIS MUSIC-MAKING DOOHICKEY?

[CRASH] UH, MY PEN PAL SENT IT

TO ME, ROLF.

COOLAROONIE, HUH?

[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC STOPS]

A DOG HAS RAISED ITS HIND LEG ON THE AGE OF NEVERMORE!

HEED ROLF.

DO NOT GET INVOLVED, ILL-ADVISED ED BOY, LEST YOUR POMEGRANATE

SHRIVEL IN THE COLD OF THE DARK SEA!

[WHIMPERING] [LAUGHS]

GOOD ONE, LUMPY.

WHATEVER YOU DID TO ROLF SAVED ME THE WORK OF SMASHING

THAT STUPID OLD WORLD LUNCHBOX OF YOURS.

LUCKY FOR ME, I CARRY A SPARE, EDDY.

YUM!

GOODNESS GRACIOUS.

THE NERVE OF ROLF.

VIOLATING ED'S CULTURAL KEEPSAKE.

WHY, I'VE GOT A GOOD MIND TO REPORT HIM TO THE OFFICE.

LATER!

RIGHT NOW, WE'RE GOING TO SELL MY CHUNKS OF MOON ROCK!

WE'LL CASH IN ON THIS PEN PAL THING IF IT KILLS YA.

ALL ACROSS THIS STINKIN' WORLD, THERE'S PIGEONS RIPE FOR THE

PLUCKING, AND WE'RE HOLDING THE TWEEZERS, BOYS.

EDDY, THE AIM OF THE PROJECT IS TO SHARE CULTURAL

UNDERSTANDING, NOT EXTORT IT.

OBSERVE, IF YOU WILL.

UHH.

I'VE PREPARED AN IN-DEPTH ESSAY FOR GERTA

TO HELP HER COMPREHEND OUR BELOVED PEACH CREEK WAY OF LIFE.

DORKVILLE!

[LAUGHS] [PLAYING TRUMPET]

ME AGAIN!

[INDISTINCT] SOMEBODY LOVES ED!

YOU BIG LUG.

[PLAYING TRUMPET] MORE MAIL FROM MY PEN PAL,

GUYS.

BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH.

HA HA HA.

LOOK WHAT I GOT.

A WOLF TOWEL.

THAT'S A PELT, ED.

YOU SURE ARE FORTUNATE TO HAVE A PEN PAL SO WILLING TO

SHARE THEIR HERITAGE WITH YOU.

WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?

I EAT CEREAL, EDDY.

[BELL RINGING] [LAUGHTER,

INDISTINCT SHOUTING] RIBBIT, RIBBIT.

RIBBIT, RIBBIT, RIBBIT.

[HOWLING] [BAA]

[HOWLING] [BAA]

[GROWLING] [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

[BAA] [HOWLING]

NOT AGAIN!

[CRASH] [INDISTINCT] I SAID

NEVER AGAIN SHALL YOU TORMENT ROLF'S LIVESTOCK.

ROLF WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE!

[LAUGHS] DEAR ED, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

ROLF HIT ME WITH AN UMBRELLA, [INDISTINCT]

OH, THERE, THERE, ED.

I'M SURE THERE'S A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION TO ROLF'S

IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOR.

SO WHAT'D YOU DO THIS TIME, ED?

PUT ON HIS GRAMMA'S PANTALOONS AGAIN?

[LAUGHS] [PLAYING TRUMPET]

RANGER PLANK'S GOT A LETTER FOR EDDY.

FOR ME?

IT'S FROM KOREA!

NICE DELIVERY, BUDDY.

BLAH!

I'M RICH!

STINKIN' FILTHY RICH!

THE SUCKER COUGHED UP!

I'M UPTOWN, BABY!

JAWBREAKERS, HERE I COME!

WOOHOO!

OH, DEAR.

THIS IS FOREIGN CURRENCY, EDDY.

VIRTUALLY WORTHLESS IN ITS PRESENT STATE.

[SNIFFING] AAH!

OH, COME ON!

IT'S GOTTA BE WORTH SOMETHING!

YOU SEE?

I TOLD YOU IT WAS WORTHLESS.

JUST FOR ONCE, CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME?

HONESTLY.

[CLUCKING] I GOT CHICKEN.

I GOT CHICKEN.

I GOT CHICK-- NOOO!

HURRY, EDDY!

SOMEONE'S ABSCONDED WITH ED!

ED?

HEY, MONOBROW!

WASTE NOT, WANT NOT.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING] QUAKE AND QUIVER LIKE A

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING] QUAKE AND QUIVER LIKE A

JELLYFISH, DOGGY DOO-DOO ED BOY.

FOR IN THE NAME OF THE GREAT SHEPHERD ELDERS, ROLF WILL

GRILL YOUR STRUDEL UNTIL YOU CRY LIKE A

TEENSY-WEENSY BABY!

SLOW DOWN, THERE, CHAMP.

STRUDEL GIVES ME GAS.

HOW ABOUT ONE LARGE PEPPERONI, NO MUSHROOMS, DOUBLE PICKLES?

LET ME GO HALFERS WITH YA ON IT, LUMPY!

UM, WHAT I THINK ED IS TRYING TO SAY IS, WHATEVER IT IS

THAT'S BOTHERING YOU, WHY, I'M SURE WE CAN WORK IT OUT.

SILENCE!

ROLF SEES THROUGH HIS SQUASHED- PEANUT-PASTE-ON-WHITE BREAD

MASQUERADE.

WHO KNOWS?

ROLF KNOWS.

THE CHINLESS ED BOY IS IN LEAGUE WITH ROLF'S SWORN ENEMY!

OH, DEAR.

IT APPEARS ED'S PEN PAL'S GIFTS HAVE SOMEHOW PROVOKED ROLF

AND REAWAKENED A LONG-FORGOTTEN BLOOD FEUD.

OH, BOO HOO.

WHAT'S WOLFGANG McHAIRYBAT GONNA DO?

STICK EELS DOWN OUR PANTS AGAIN?

[LAUGHTER]

[LAUGHTER] H-H-HAVE MERCY, ROLF.

TALK, ED BOY.

HI, ROLF!

TALK, I SAY!

HI, ROLF!

TALK, YOU SONOMAGUN.

HI, ROLF!

PLEASE, TALK!

HI, ROLF!

[SNORING] IT WAS WORTH IT, ALL THIS,

TO BE ADMIRED.

HI, ROLF!

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, ROLF, THIS WAS ALL A GRAVE

MISUNDERSTANDING.

YEAH.

HOW WERE WE TO KNOW YOU WERE SUCH A LILY-LIVERED, GUTLESS

DOORMAT?

[PLAYING TRUMPET] [SHEEP BAAS]

PAGING DOUBLE D.

MAIL FOR YA.

THANK YOU, RANGER JONNY.

DON'T MENTION IT, DOUBLE D.

WHOA!

[CRASH] THIS MUST BE A REPLY FROM MY

NORWEGIAN PEN PAL GERTA.

GERTA?

NORWEGIAN?

THE GOAT MILKER?

THIS IS ODD.

A FEATHER DUSTER.

I'M SURE I INFORMED GERTA OF MOTHER'S ALLERGY TO FEATHERS.

AHA!

THE FEATHER DUSTER OF TOMFOOLERY!

[LAUGHS] HEY, WHAT'S WITH YOU?

ARE YOU SO SIMPLE, HEAD-AND-NECK-AS-ONE ED BOY?

GERTA THE GOAT MILKER IS FAMOUS FOR HER JOVIAL JESTS.

IT WAS SHE THAT SENT THE WOLF PARCEL TO THE DOO-DOO ED BOY.

SHE HAS MADE THE [INDISTINCT] OF US ALL, YES?

WHAT?

COME!

WE MUST REBUT WHILE THE TURNIPS ARE STILL HARD!

[BEEPING] [GRUNTING]

OKEY-DOKEY, ED BOY.

ONCE YOU SEE GERTA, SHAVE THE HAIRS FROM HER LEGS, YES,

AND ROLF WILL TRIUMPH WITH THE [INDISTINCT]

ROLF, PLEASE, RECONSID-- ROLF, WAIT!

[GRUNTING] I GOT SOME GREEN CASH!

TAKE IT!

IT'S YOURS!

I CAN'T FLY TO NORWAY.

I HAVE CLASS IN THE MORNING.

UM, GUYS?

I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.

NOOO!

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]

ED, EDD, AND EDDY.

BBBBBBB YEAH!