Original subtitles

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

BL-BL-BL-BL YEAH!

[BELL RINGS] RIGHT ON!

"B's" AND "C's" FOR ME!

"B's" AND "C's" FOR ME!

ALL THAT EXTRA TUTORING YOU GAVE ME REALLY PAID OFF, BUDDY.

HEY, JONNY, CHECK THIS OUT.

AN "A" IN CHEERLEADING?

YOU SURE MUST HAVE BRAINS!

CHOICE!

I UPPED MY FINE ARTS MARK TO A C-MINUS.

DAD'S GONNA BE STOKED.

PRESENT-DAY HOOEY!

ROLF WILL NEED A NEW TUCKUS AFTER PAPA SEES THIS.

DUDE, A "D" IN TYPING?

ROUGH.

ALL NIGHT, CHIN-FACED KEVIN!

OF WHAT USE IS THIS INFERNAL BUTTON BOX TO THE SON OF A

SHEPHERD?

ROLF ASKS YOU!

UH...

YO, NAZZ, HOW DID YOU DO?

OH, WHAT DID YOU GET?

HOW COME THEY GET THEIR REPORT CARDS WHILE SOME

BACK-STABBING JERK IS HAND-DELIVERING OURS STRAIGHT

TO OUR PARENTS?

LIFE CAN BE SO CRUEL!

I MEAN, WHAT LOW-DOWN, MISERABLE, TWO-TIMING,

DOUBLE-CROSSING SLIMEBALL WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

WELL, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE, GENTLEMEN.

THIS COULD BE A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR THE TWO OF YOU

TO SIT WITH YOUR PARENTS AND FIND A CORRECTIVE CURRICULUM TO

OVERCOME YOUR ACADEMIC SHORTCOMINGS.

YES, INDEEDY.

[LAUGHING] SMOOTH MOVE, DORK!

HA HA HA!

FOR ME?

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE, DOUBLE D.

PICK PAPER UP, PICK PAPER UP!

NO, NO, NO, ED.

PLEASE.

LET ME DO THAT.

DOUBLE D!

YOUR REPORT CARDS LOOK THE SAME AS MINE AND EDDY'S!

LET ME SEE THOSE!

SO YOU'RE THE BACK-STABBING JERK!

WHO, ME?

UM, HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?

NEVER, UM...

PERHAPS I SHOULD HANG ON TO THOSE FOR SAFEKEEPING.

IN YOUR DREAMS!

MAY I MIGHT?

I BET I'M DOING REAL GOOD, GUYS.

OOH, OOH!

LISTEN TO THIS!

"ED HAS DIFFICULTY WITH HIS ABILITY TO CONCENTRATE FOR EVEN

THE SMALLEST PERIOD."

TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK.

THE TEACHER'S GOT YOU PEGGED, ED.

DEPLORABLE GRADES DO NOT A JOKE MAKE, EDDY.

WHO'S GOT DEPLORABLE GRADES, SMART GUY?

NOT US, NOT ANYMORE!

HA HA HA!

TIME TO GET TO WORK, ED.

[WHISTLE] A LITTLE HAND-ME-DOWN FROM MY

BROTHER.

THE GOOD OLD REPORT CARD-CHANGING KIT.

HA HA HA!

HERE, GET CRACKING.

ALREADY CRACKED, EDDY.

THE USUAL "A's" AND "B's."

THROW IN A C-MINUS JUST IN CASE.

I DON'T WANT MY FOLKS TO GET SUSPICIOUS.

LOOKIE, A "C", I SEE.

THAT IS WHERE YOU BE, EDDY McGEE.

HUH?

WE'RE BUSTED, ED.

NOT GOOD, EDDY.

UH, PRINCIPAL, SIR.

I SURRENDER!

HEY, WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?

UH, I'VE BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH A VERY IMPORTANT TASK, EDDY, AND

NEITHER RAIN NOR SLEET NOR SNOW NOR YOU NOR ED SHALL STOP ME

FROM COMPLETING THIS DUTY.

I'M SURE YOUR PARENTS WILL BE VERY UNDERSTANDING AND--

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY AUNT!

SHE HAS A MUSTACHE, DOUBLE D!

GIVE ME THOSE REPORT CARDS!

HER CAT MAKES ME SNEEZE AND SHE NEVER BUTTERS MY TOAST!

THE CARDS, NOW!

SHE SMELLS LIKE CABBAGE AND SHE MAKES ME USE TOOTHPICKS!

GIMME 'EM!

[PANTING] [BELL RINGS]

MATH CLASS!

YES!

SANCTUARY!

MATH CLASS!

YES, WE GOT HIM.

[PANTING]

[WRITING ON CHALKBOARD]

[TICKING] [OVEN BELL RINGS]

UH, PARDON ME, SIR.

MAY I BE EXCUSED TO THE RESTROOM?

THANK YOU.

SUCKER-PUNCH.

NOW, IF I CAN JUST GET TO THE OUTSIDE BEFORE THE FINAL BELL!

RACE YOU HOME, BUDDY!

MEATLOAF MONDAY, GIRLS!

LAST ONE HOME FILES MOM'S BUNIONS.

NO BUNIONS FOR ME.

I'M ON A DIET.

WEASEL BOY'S STILL INSIDE, ED.

AS SOON AS HE COMES OUT, LET HIM HAVE IT, AND I'LL GRAB THE

REPORT CARDS.

[GULP] ED BOY!

ROLF ASKS A FAVOR OF YOU.

HAVE MERCY, ED BOY, AND HOLD ROLF'S RUCKSACK SO THAT ROLF CAN

CARRY THIS CURSED THING HOME FOR FURTHER TORMENT!

[DOOR RATTLING] ROLF?

GOT HIM, EDDY!

GOOD FOR ME!

YOU IDIOT!

DOES ROLF LOOK LIKE DOUBLE D?

HMM.

MAYBE WITH A HAT?

HEY, ROLFIE.

YOU SEEN DOUBLE D?

DOUBLE D ED BOY?

UM, I AM AN INNOCENT SON OF A SHEPHERD.

I KNOW NOTHING.

GOOD-BYE.

[GRUNT] IT'S THE RAT!

GET HIM, ED!

RUN, ED BOY!

RUN LIKE THE WIND!

SWEET.

CRUISE OR LOSE?

HEY, CRUISE OR LOSE.

THAT RHYMES.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME, BUT THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!

HEY, GET BACK HERE WITH MY BIKE!

BEEP, BEEP!

[PANTING] THROW ME SOMETHING, MISTER.

OK, HERE YOU GO, PARTY-GOERS.

WELCOME TO JIMMY AND SARAH'S AFTER-SCHOOL CARNIVAL!

TEA AND CAKE FOR EVERYBODY!

PARDON ME, EXCUSE ME!

SLOW-MOVING VEHICLES TO THE RIGHT, PLEASE.

RABBLE-ROUSER, SARAH!

WHAT?!

GIVE US THOSE REPORT CARDS!

THAT-A-WAY, ED!

WHICH WAY, EDDY?

SARAH, ED!

GRRR!

SARAH NO GOOD FOR ED, EDDY!

GO, LUMPY, GO!

ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE I POUND YOU?

BEEP, BEEP!

END OF THE ROAD, MR. DO-GOODER.

HAND OVER THOSE REPORT CARDS.

[GRUNTING] HOW'D HE DO THAT?

HE'S TOO SMART FOR US, EDDY!

WE WILL NEVER CATCH HIM!

DON'T COUNT YOUR BISCUITS BEFORE THEY HATCH, LUMPY.

SOCKHEAD MAY BE SMART, BUT HE'S WEAK, AND HE'LL NEVER DELIVER

THOSE REPORT CARDS ALIVE!

HA HA HA!

I'M ALIVE, EDDY!

I'M ALIVE!

[PANTING] DUDLEY DO-THE-RIGHT-THING

DOESN'T HAVE A CHANCE, ED.

IT'S BRAWN OVER BRAINS, I TELL YA.

AHA!

YOU'RE TRAPPED!

THERE'S NO ESCAPING NOW, SMART GUY.

HAND OVER THOSE REPORT CARDS.

HE'S GETTING AWAY.

DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE,

DIG A-- YOU SHOULD HAVE DUG DEEPER!

[PANTING] OUCH.

JUST LIKE OUR REPORT CARDS, YOU FAILED.

HA HA HA!

OH, DEAR, I HOPE YOU'RE DECENT.

PARDON ME, EXCUSE ME.

GET BACK HERE, YOU WIRY LITTLE--

HEY, WHAT'S WITH YOU?

LOOKS LIKE DESSERT SHOWED UP JUST IN TIME, GIRLS.

SHORTCAKE?

MY FAVE!

AND A TALL MILK SHAKE!

GET IT OFF!

GET IT OFF!

TIRED, SO TIRED.

I CAN'T GO ON.

OH, SO CLOSE.

I MUST, I WILL, I SHALL.

I COMMEND YOUR EFFORTS, GENTLEMEN, BUT AS ALWAYS, THE

SANCTUM OF EDUCATION CHAMPIONS THE DAY!

WHO'S THE SMART GUY NOW, HUH?

WHAT THE-- WHERE'D THE REPORT CARDS GO?

[TRUMPET PLAYING] CONGRATULATIONS, RANGER ROLF,

ON YOUR TASK WELL COMPLETED.

IT IS AN HONOR I PRESENT TO YOU THE REPORT CARD DELIVERY BADGE!

THANK YOU, YES.

VERY GOOD, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

ROLF IS PLEASED!

OUR REPORT CARDS?

HONESTLY, I JUST FEEL SICK ABOUT ALL THIS, BUT WHEN THE

PRINCIPAL ASKED ME TO TAKE ON THIS RESPONSIBILITY, I HAD NO

OTHER RECOURSE THAN TO ACCEPT AND RISK YOUR BEING UPSET FOR

YOUR OWN GOOD.

DAD?

WAIT, UM, THE GRADES ARE IN GREEK THIS YEAR.

I DID GOOD.

I SWEAR!

UH-OH.

NO AUNTIE FOR ED!

MOMMY!

NO AUNTIE FOR ED!

OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR.

I SUPPOSE SOME LESSONS JUST HAVE TO BE LEARNED THE HARD WAY.

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH?

HA HA HA!

ZAPPITY ZAP ZAP.

THAT'S STATIC ELECTRICITY, ED.

DID YOU KNOW THAT THIS TREASURE TROVE OF ACCESSIBLE ENERGY LIES

RIGHT BENEATH OUR FEET?

NO.

LIKE BETWEEN MY TOES, DOUBLE D?

NOT QUITE, ED.

HERE, YOU TRY.

HMM.

YOU SEE, BY SHUFFLING ALONG THE CARPET, YOU ABSORB EAGER

ELECTRONS RAPIDLY LOOKING FOR A DIRECT ESCAPE.

HA HA HA!

NOW, ED, THERE'S NO NEED TO OVERDO IT.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

ED, THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH.

ED, PLEASE STOP!

LIKE THIS, DOUBLE D?

HA HA HA!

ZAPPITY ZAP ZAP.

TAG--YOU'RE IT.

CHECK IT OUT, BOYS.

TA-DA!

OH, OH!

IT'S A...A...

JAWBREAKER?!

WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU GET THAT FROM?

I SCAMMED IT OFF JONNY.

WHAT A PIGEON!

YUM.

SPICY.

PTOO!

DO TELL, EDDY.

HOW DID YOU DO IT?

EASY.

I WAS WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL AFTER MY DETENTION, OF COURSE,

WHEN I SPOTTED BALDY COMING OUT OF THE CANDY STORE.

TEACHERS.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

[CHUCKLING] HEY, EDDY.

[YAWN] WHAT?

WHAT?

WHATEVER.

WHATEVER.

DID YOU CATCH THAT GUY, BUDDY?

EDDY TRIED TO BEAT IT WITH OUR JAWBREAKER.

WHAT A WEASEL FACE.

YOU SAID IT, PAL.

BETTER KEEP A SHARP EYE OUT.

[HUMMING] BOY, YOU SURE ARE ACTING WEIRD,

PLANK.

WHO, ME?

NOPE.

IT'S THAT CHIP AGAIN, ISN'T IT?

YOU JUST HAVEN'T BEEN THE SAME SINCE ROLF'S PLACE, REMEMBER?

YOU WERE LOOKING FOR KICKS, AND YOU WANTED TO BE AN ENGINE

PISTON.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO DO THIS, PLANK?

WHAT'S THAT?

OK!

WHAT'S THAT?!

HOLY COW!

MORE GAS?!

YOU SURE GOT GUTS, BUDDY!

BEHOLD THE TOIL OF 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS.

ROLF CAN SENSE YOUR JEALOUSY OF ROLF'S GIANT SQUASH.

CRY, CRY IF YOU MUST, FOR ROLF WOULD CRY, TOO, WITH THE SIGHT

OF THIS VENUS OF THE GOURD FAMILY.

HANG ON, BUDDY!

YOU MAY KISS IT IF YOU LIKE.

I'LL SAVE YOU!

JONNY THE WOOD BOY!

UNHAND ROLF'S TRACTOR!

UNHAND ROLF'S TRACTOR!

BUDDY!

GIVE HIM BACK, YOU BULLY!

HA HA HA!

LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO PLANK!

HE'S GOT BRAIN DAMAGE!

THE WOOD HAS A BRAIN?

BOY, ROLF, YOU REMIND ME OF ME WHEN I WAS CHUBBY.

SAY WHAT?

WHEN WERE YOU--OH, YEAH.

I REMEMBER.

THIS ONE'S CALLED THE GUITAR SOLO!

DING-A-DING-DANG!

DING-A-LONG-DING-DONG!

COOL!

MY HAIR!

SCHYEAH!

MY TURN!

YOU GO, GIRL.

WHOO-HOO!

THIS ONE'S CALLED COOKIE DOUGH CHIMICHANGA DIP!

[SCREAMING] DUDE, LIKE, THAT WAS SO MUCH

FUN!

RIGHTEOUS.

[LAUGHING] LOOK AT THIS PAPER NAPKIN,

JIMMY.

SUCH TOMFOOLERY BRINGS ROLF BACK TO ROLF'S LAZY GOOD-FOR-NOTHING

YOUTH.

ROLF REMEMBERS, YES?

[HUMMING] WOOLY BULLY.

HOW'D THE HECK WE GET HERE?

THIS ISN'T WHAT I WAS REMEMBERING.

[ROLF HUMMING] I'M CONFUSED, EDDY.

YOU ORIGINALLY WERE FLASHING BACK TO SOMETHING YOU

REMEMBERED.

WHAT WAS IT?

I CAN'T REMEMBER NOW.

FIRST, JONNY STOLE MY FLASHBACK, THEN NAZZ, AND NOW ROLF.

OH, OH!

I KNOW.

WE WERE STANDING NEXT TO A...

HOLE IN THE WALL RIGHT AFTER A BIG BOOM.

REMEMBER?

HUH?

THIS AIN'T THE HOLE.

YEP.

YOU WERE STANDING HERE, AND ME AND DOUBLE D WAS HERE.

SEE?

ZAPPITY ZAP ZAP, DOUBLE D.

UNFORTUNATELY, I DON'T THINK THIS IS WHAT EDDY HAD IN MIND.

THAT'S IT!

FROM NOW ON, NOBODY'S DOING ANY REMEMBERING BUT ME!

THOSE IDIOTS KNOW NOTHING ABOUT CREAM ORANGE, JIMMY.

CREAM ORANGE IS SCRUMPTIOUS, SARAH.

EDDY!

ED'S FLASHED US BACK TO THE DAY YOUR SCAM RUINED JIMMY'S TEETH!

IT'S A BOWLING PIN, SARAH!

THEY TRICKED ME!

OH, YEAH!

OH, NO.

I JUST REMEMBERED THE PAIN SARAH WILL NOW INFLICT ON US.

ED!

GRRR!

EDDY, QUICK!

REMEMBER SOMETHING.

ANYTHING!

I CAN'T!

I'M TOO SCARED!

UM, YES.

REMEMBER THAT TIME SARAH FOLLOWED US TO SCHOOL?

GRRR!

OH, YEAH!

I REMEMBER.

YEAH, YOU LUNKHEAD!

WHEN WE LOCKED HER IN A LOCKER?

SHOWED HER.

BUT, EDDY...

SHE HAD BOXING CLASS THAT DAY!

AND SHE INFLICTED MORE PAIN ON US!

RUN AWAY!

WEREN'T WE JUST HERE?

I THINK ED JUST FLASHED US BACKWARDS OR SOMETHING.

YOU BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY I DID.

HEY, WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

ONLY I'M SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER STUFF.

RUN AWAY!

THE SUCKING BOWLING BALL!

HEY, LUMPY'S GOT IT RIGHT.

HE'S REWINDING US BACK TO THE START!

YES, WELL, JUST MIND YOUR SPEED, ED.

SPEED, ED?

THAT'S ME!

ED!

WHERE'D WE GO, EDDY?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

YOU'RE THE IDIOT THAT...

HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

THIS HAS DEFINITELY GONE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, EDDY.

ED'S FLASHED US BACK TO THE DAY I FIRST MET YOU TWO.

CHECK IT OUT!

IT'S MY BOTTOMLESS ED SCAM.

HOW'D IT GO AGAIN?

BE AMAZED, KID.

WATCH BOTTOMLESS ED EAT THIS HUMONGOUS TV SET.

FOR YOU, ONLY A QUARTER.

HA HA HA.

VERY FUNNY, EDDY.

COME ON, COUGH UP!

YOU GOTTA!

IT'S PART OF THE FLASHBACK.

I'VE ALREADY FALLEN FOR THIS ONCE, THANK YOU.

NOW, LET'S GET TO THE TASK AT HAND AND REMEMBER WHERE THIS

RIDICULOUS JOURNEY BEGAN.

ED AND I WERE AT MY HOUSE, AND I WAS DEMONSTRATING THE MARVELS OF

STATIC ELECTRICITY.

[DING DONG] WHEN SOCKHEAD COMES TO, HE

WON'T REMEMBER A THING, AND HE'LL PAY UP JUST LIKE THE DAY

WE MET.

HA HA HA!

BUT, EDDY, HOW WILL WE GET BACK TO WHERE ONCE FROM WE WERE?

WHO CARES?

WE'RE GETTING CASH, BUDDY BOY!

LOOK SHARP!

SALUTATIONS, GENTLEMEN.

MY FAMILY AND I HAVE JUST MOVED IN, THANK YOU.

HEY, ED, GET A LOAD OF THE NEW KID ON THE BLOCK.

WHERE?

OH.

WELCOME, FRIEND.

MY NAME'S ED.

AND I'M EDDY.

PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

MY NAME IS EDD, ALSO, BUT WITH TWO "D's."

GEE, AIN'T THAT A COINKY-DINK?

WE ALL HAVE THE SAME NAME.

[LAUGHING] HUMOROUS, INDEED.

YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER.

BE AMAZED, KID.

WATCH BOTTOMLESS ED EAT THIS HUMONGOUS TV SET.

FOR YOU, ONLY A QUARTER.

I'LL GIVE YOU TWO, FOR IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE

HUMAN ESOPHAGUS TO MANAGE SUCH A FEAT.

IN YOUR HAT, BUCKO.

YUM!

WHAT THE-- ED!

GOOD LORD!

I'M GOING TO BE ILL!

REMEMBER SOMETHING, STUPID!

REMEMBER!

ED, EDD, N' EDDY!

BL-BL-BL-BL YEAH!

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--]