Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

Man: BL-BL-BLUH, YEAH!

[SNORING]

[ROOSTER CROWS]

[MUMBLING]

Sarah: ED!

GET UP, STUPID!

MOM SAID TO MAKE SURE YOU WALK ME TO JIMMY'S!

OH, ISN'T THAT SWEET OF ME TO REMIND YOU?

BIG BROTHER IS HERE, SARAH.

YEP, JUST TYING MY SHOE.

HERE WE GO.

[SNORING]

AH, WHO NEEDS YOU?

[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]

♪ ONE, TWO, TIE MY SHOE

♪ 3, 4, CLOSE THE DOOR

♪ 5, 6, GRAB SOME STICKS

♪ 7, 8, LAY THEM STRAIGHT

♪ 9, 10, A BIG, FAT HEN

♪ 11, 12...

Eddy: ED!

[PUNCHES]

GET UP, STUPID.

YOU'RE WASTING TIME.

TODAY'S THE DAY, BUDDY BOY.

THE SCAM TO END ALL SCAM--

OUR TRIPLE "E"

FROG-JUMPING DERBY.

AFTER WE CHARGE THE SAPS

FOR A FROG RENTAL FEE,

THEY'LL RACE

FOR THE GRAND PRIZE--

MITTENS.

LUCKY DOGS.

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

Edd: GENTLEMEN, I'VE LOCATED A POND

AND ACQUIRED ALL THE REQUIRED ACCOUTERMENTS

IN ORDER FOR US TO DRAFT OUR FROG COMPETITORS

FOR TODAY'S DERBY.

WE'RE GOING TO BE RICH.

YOU'RE A PEACH.

Ed: EVIL...BAD.

HERE, ED, LET ME HELP.

[SNIFFING]

EDDY, THERE'S A HORRIBLE ODOR

COMING FROM YOU KNOW WHO.

NORTH TO ALASKA.

ED? STINK?

SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

NOT LIKE THIS, EDDY.

I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.

WHAT ABOUT MY SCAM?

MAYBE HIS MOMMY CALLED HIM.

COME HOME, EDWARD,

AND PICKLE YOUR FEET.

P-U, ED!

DID SOMETHING CRAWL ON YOU AND DIE?

WHERE'D YOU GO? WE GOT FROGS TO CATCH.

NOT UNTIL I DETERMINE

THE ORIGIN OF ED'S FOUL EXHALATION.

HELLO, FLY.

THERE, IN HIS POCKET!

QUIT YELLING IN MY EAR.

DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

ALL THAT'S IN HERE

IS MY LUCKY CHEESE CHUNK.

OH, MY LORD! YUCK!

Ed: SAY HELLO TO DOUBLE "D," SHELDON.

Edd: THAT'S DISGUSTING, ED.

NO, THAT'S SHELDON.

HE'S LIVED IN MY POCKET FOR 57 DAYS NOW.

AAH!

Eddy: OH, NO, YOU DON'T.

I NEED YOU TO CATCH FROGS,

DOUBLE "D."

WE'RE GONNA BE RICH.

ED, SHELDON

GET THE WAGON.

[EDDY PANTING]

THOSE SAPS WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM.

HA HA HA! IT'S THE BEST SCAM

IN THE WHOLE STINKING WORLD.

DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR JOB THERE, STINKY?

I AM THE FROG WRANGLER

SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO TOUCH THOSE SLIMY WEASELS.

[FROGS CROAKING]

SO WHERE'S THE FROGS?

ALBEIT DATED, THIS MAP CLEARLY STATES THAT...

UM...

THAT THE COMMON FROG DOES...

UH, RESIDE WITHIN THE CONFINES OF THIS POND.

Edd: YEOW!

[THUD]

RANCID MOLDY CHEESE!

I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE ANY FURTHER

UNTIL ED WASHES THAT OFFENSIVE,

PUTREFIED JACKET OF HIS.

QUIT ROCKING THE BOAT.

WE GOT PEOPLE TO FILCH.

IS THAT A FROG OR A BOOT?

A BOOT? HEH HEH HEH!

THERE. SEE IT? WHAT IS THAT?

KIND OF LOOKS LIKE ABRAHAM LINCOLN, EDDY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[GRUNTING]

COMFY?

FILTHY! CRUDDY! SMELLY!

ED, I INSIST YOU REMOVE THAT JACKET

IMMEDIATELY!

OK, IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR HAT.

MY HAT?

WHY, THAT'S THE SILLIEST THING

I'VE EVER HEARD.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

GIVE HIM THE STUPID HAT

SO WE CAN GET SOME FROGS.

THE POINT HERE IS MY HAT DOESN'T SMELL.

OH, YES, IT DOES.

NO, IT DOES NOT.

YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT

BECAUSE I SAID YOUR JACKET STANK.

STINKY HAT.

YOU'VE GOT A REPULSIVE, FERMENTING

DETACHMENT OF CHEESE IN YOUR POCKET, ED.

STINKY HAT.

ODIFEROUS CURD COAT.

STINKY HAT.

RANCID ROQUEFORT WRAP.

STINKY HAT!

REPUGNANT PARMESAN POCKET!

OH, YEAH?

STINKY HAT!

COAT OF CANTANKEROUS CAMEMBERT.

STINKY HAT!

SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!

HMPF!

HMPF!

OH, COME ON.

WE GOT A SCAM TO RUN HERE!

I'M SORRY, EDDY.

I CAN'T WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS.

OH, YES, YOU CAN.

YOU JUST WORRY ABOUT GETTING THOSE FROGS,

AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF ED.

HEY!

WHAT? THE FROGS WILL RECOGNIZE YOU, LUMPY.

WHAT YOU NEED IS A DISGUISE.

A DISGUISE?

HURRY, GET UNDRESSED.

I GOT AN IDEA.

FROGS ARE SO STUPID.

HOORAY!

YOU OWE ME.

TRY SHOWING SOME MORE LEG, ED.

[WOLF WHISTLE]

Edd: EDDY,

THIS DELICATE PROCEDURE

REQUIRES YOUR ASSISTANCE, PLEASE.

HOLD THIS.

WHAT'S TAKING YOU--

BACK UP! BACK UP!

[SNIFFING]

SUCCESS.

GOOD.

NOW CAN YOU AND ED KISS AND MAKE UP?

BECAUSE WE GOT MY RETIREMENT TO THINK OF.

AHA!

THAT'S MY LUCKY CHEESE CHUNK.

WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET THESE FROGS.

I BEG YOU, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS DECENT,

PLEASE DON'T OPEN THIS JAR, ED.

NO GO, JOE.

IT MIGHT SPOIL.

DEFILED! SOILY! PROFANE!

HOME SWEET HOME, HUH, SHELDON?

[GAGGING]

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I'M ON THE EDGE OF SALUTARY COLLAPSE.

TOO LATE.

EVERYTHING'S GONE BLACK--

BLACK AS THE MOLD

THAT PERMEATES ED'S LUCKY CHEESE.

FORGE AHEAD, BRAVE FRIEND.

I'M SURE...

[COUGHS]

I'M SURE YOUR TRIPLE "E" FROG-JUMPING DERBY

WILL DO WELL WITHOUT ME.

HMM?

OH, LOOK. DIRT.

YOU'RE MESSING UP MY SCAM!

OUCH! GET RID OF THE STUPID JACKET, ED.

Ed: TAG. YOU'RE IT! HA HA HA!

Eddy: TAKE IT OFF!

[SNAPS FINGERS]

LOOK AT ME, ED.

I'M ALL WET AND FREEZING-LIKE.

I COULD SURE USE SOMETHING TO KEEP ME WARM...

LIKE YOUR JACKET.

GOT A TOWEL, EDDY.

DRAT.

OK, WAIT.

I KNOW. LET'S START UP A NEW COUNTRY,

AND WE'LL CALL IT "EDTROPIA."

YEAH, YOU'LL BE A BIG SHOT--

THE GRAND POOH-BAH OF ALL ZOMBIES.

UM, AND THOSE ZOMBIES WILL SALUTE

EDTROPIA'S NEW FLAG,

YOUR JACKET!

COOL! ZOMBIES!

WAVE THAT FLAG, EDDY.

WHOO HOO!

[EDDY PANTING]

OH!

Eddy: WHOO HOO HOO HOO!

NOW HOW ABOUT THEM FROGS, HUH?

YOU, TOO, DE NIRO.

I'D BE HAPPY TO ASSIST YOU, EDDY.

JUST THINK, ED, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO BUY A BRAIN,

WE'LL BE SO RICH.

LOOK, IT'S SHELDON.

AND TO THINK I ALMOST FORGOT YOU.

OH, ED?

WAH!

WELL, THAT WAS ECONOMICAL.

TRIPLE "E" FROG-JUMPING DERBY,

HERE WE COME.

[WHIMPERING]

ED?

MAYBE THIS WILL HELP.

HANDKERCHIEFS CAN BE LUCKY, TOO.

YOU GUYS WILL NEED MORE THAN LUCK

IF WE DON'T CATCH SOME FROGS!

OK, HOW ABOUT...

ANGUS, MY MORE-THAN-LUCKY FISHY.

ED, GET RID OF THAT CARCASS IMMEDIATELY!

STINKY HAT!

SHIRT OF FETID FLOUNDER!

STINKY HAT!

TAINTED TROUT TOP!

STINKY HAT!

EDDY!

[GRUNTING]

CHECK OUT THE PHONE.

ROLF, HOW DOES A DUD LIKE YOU

GET A HAPPENING PHONE LIKE THIS?

Rolf: STAY BACK!

YOU AIN'T THROWING IT AWAY,

ARE YOU, STRETCH?

ASK NO QUESTIONS!

A CEREMONIAL TELEPHONE BURIAL?

AHEM. MY, HOW QUAINT.

CAN I HELP, ROLF?

OH.

COME NO FURTHER!

ROLF MUST COMPLETE THIS TASK

FORCED UPON HIM,

OR WE ARE ALL DOOMED.

I'LL GIVE YOU...

A SHOELACE FOR IT.

COOL!

OW!

Edd: PARDON ME, ROLF,

BUT HOW COULD A TELEPHONE

BE A MESSENGER OF DOOM?

KNOW NOTHING!

DON'T BURY IT! GIVE IT TO ME!

WALK AWAY FROM THE SUFFERING

THAT HAS CURSED ROLF'S FAMILY

FOR GENERATIONS, ED BOY!

HA HA!

I GOT A FEELING YOU'VE CRACKED THERE, DRACULA.

WHY DON'T YOU GET VICTOR TO GIVE YOU

A MASSAGE OR SOMETHING,

AND I'LL GUARD THE BIG BAD PHONE FOR YOU.

VICTOR'S HOOVES ARE MAGIC ON ROLF'S HARDENED MUSCLES.

THANK YOU, ED BOY. THANK YOU.

THAT WAS REALLY NICE OF YOU, EDDY,

TO EASE ROLF'S INTRINSIC GUILT.

IDIOT.

OK, ED, DIG!

GOODY, GOODY.

♪ DIG A HOLE, DIG A HOLE ♪

REALLY, EDDY,

ANOTHER KNICKKNACK FOR THAT ALREADY OVERSTIMULATED

ROOM OF YOURS?

Eddy: JEALOUS.

Ed: DIG A HOLE.

[SMACK]

OUCH!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

CUTS A FIGURE IN SOCIETY, DON'T IT?

IS THAT A NEW PHONE?

Edd: PLEASE STAY WITH US, ED.

[RING]

[RING]

[RING]

SOMEBODY'S CALLING ME.

STRANGE. THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY CONNECTION, YET...

SO? IT'S CALLED A CORDLESS, GRANDPA.

HELLO?

Edd: EDWARD?

YES, MOMMY.

WHAT'S WITH YOU?

IT WASN'T ME, EDDY.

HONEST AND FOR TRULY.

[RING]

GOT IT!

GET AWAY FROM MY PHONE, STUPID.

PROBABLY NAZZ.

AND I'M THEODOR GEISEL.

WHAT'S COOKING, GOOD-LOOKING?

I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS, EDDY.

NIGHTY NIGHT.

Edd: AHEM.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE A NEW MATTRESS, EDDY.

SHALL WE ASK ROLF IF HE'S BURIED ONE SOMEWHERE?

HEE HEE HEE!

YEAH, SURE.

ROLF?

[RING]

[RING]

COULD BE ALL THOSE SWOONING ADOLESCENT GIRLFRIENDS

THAT RESIDE IN YOUR OWN MIND.

[RING]

Y-ELLO?

EDDY'S IN PAIN NOW. HE'LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK.

WHAT AN UNFORTUNATE SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES.

SOMETHING'S UP WITH THIS PHONE.

[RING]

HELLO.

LET IT RING, ED.

JUST PRETEND WE'RE NOT HOME.

IT'S FOR YOU, EDDY.

HELLO?

OH, LOOKIT. A SKUNK.

DID YOU KNOW IN SOME PARTS

IT'S ALSO KNOWN AS A POLECAT?

WHO STEPPED ON A DUCK?

THIS STUPID PHONE'S CURSED!

Edd: OH, COME NOW, EDDY.

THESE UNFORTUNATE MISHAPS ARE RANDOM AT BEST.

ANY RELATIONSHIP TO ROLF'S TELEPHONE OF DOOM

IS PURE COINCIDENCE.

I SAY WE TEST IT.

TEST IT?

LIKE MUSTARD?

[AIR-RAID SIREN]

EVACUATE THE AREA!

MAN YOUR STATIONS!

Eddy: EASY, ED.

EASY.

STAND CLEAR, LUMPY.

HONESTLY, EDDY. IT'S JUST A PHONE.

Eddy: WHAT'S TAKING IT?

MAYBE IT'S ON TO US, EDDY.

HEE HEE HEE!

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

AHA!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER IT, IDIOT!

HELLO?

THERE. YOUR TEST PROVES IT, EDDY.

ANY CORRELATION BETWEEN THE PHONE

AND YOUR ACCIDENTS IS...

OUCH!

I ASSURE YOU,

THERE IS A RATIONAL REASON FOR THIS MISCHANCE, EDDY.

AH, HERE'S YOUR CULPRIT:

JUST A RUSTY, WORN NUT.

BAD PHONE.

EVIL. ROTTEN.

AND ITCHY.

DON'T ANSWER IT, ED!

RUSTY, WORN NUT, EDDY.

ME, AGAIN.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

CAN THE SON OF A SHEPHERD ASSIST YOU?

YEAH, TAKE BACK YOUR STUPID PHONE!

IT'S CURSED, I TELL YOU!

YIKES!

YOU HAVE RESURRECTED THE DISPATCHER OF DESPAIR.

LET IT BE ON YOUR HEAD!

AAH! IT'S YOURS. YOU KEEP IT!

HALF-WITTED BOY!

HOT POTATO!

IF I MAY INTERJECT--

Edd: PEOPLE, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELVES!

WAIT!

YOU'VE LET A COMMON HOUSEHOLD PHONE

FEED UPON YOUR LACK OF RATIONAL THINKING.

EDDY!

ROLF, TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT! TAKE IT!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

I'M BEGGING YOU.

WHAT IS THAT? WHO ARE YOU?

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE,

LET'S PUT AN END TO THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.

HELLO. EDWARD DOUBLE "D" SPEAKING.

[GROANING]

[HORN HONKING]

[HUMMING]

[EDDY PANTING]

HEY, JONNY BOY. HERE, HAVE A PHONE.

YOURS TO KEEP. FREE!

WE'LL JUST GLUE IT TO YOUR HEAD

SO YOU DON'T LOSE IT, OK?

OK.

PLANK, GET OUT HERE.

WE JUST SCORED THE COOLEST PHONE.

WHOO HOO!

I'M OFF THE HOOK!

NO MORE BAD LUCK!

OR BATHTUB RING.

I'M GONNA BE SICK.

HEE HEE HEE!

NO MORE CURSED PHONES FOR THIS GUY.

TELEPHONES AREN'T CURSED, EDDY!

THEY'RE PLASTIC!

CALM DOWN, DOUBLE "D."

THINK OCEAN WAVES, SEA MAMMALS, ARIAS.

WAS THAT YOUR DARK SIDE, DOUBLE "D"?

Eddy: SHAKE A LEG, GIRLS.

THERE'S STILL ENOUGH LIGHT TO GET A SCAM IN

BEFORE SHUTEYE.

DIDN'T HEAR A WORD YOU SAID, EDDY.

Edd: COUNT ME IN, EDDY.

I'M ALL FOR A BIT OF NORMALITY AFTER A DAY LIKE TODAY.

Ed: WELL, THAT'S A KEEPER.

RISE AND SHINE, FOLKS.

GET YOUR ED FLAKES CEREAL HERE.

EXCUSE ME, EDDY,

BUT WOULDN'T A BREAKFAST VENTURE

BE MORE SUITED TO A MORNING CLIENTELE?

THIS AIN'T YOUR SAME OLD SAME OLD BREAKFAST CEREAL, DOUBLE "D."

IT'S 100%...

CURSE FREE!

EDDY, GET OFF THIS CURSE FIXATION.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING.

SAYS YOU.

GOOD MORNING, TREE.

SEE?

WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?

[AIR WHISTLING]

HIPPOS!

AHA!

PROOF POSITIVE

THAT THESE UNFORTUNATE INCIDENTS

HAVE BEEN NOTHING MORE

THAN COINCIDENCES!

LOOK AROUND YOU, EDDY,

AND WHAT DO YOU SEE?

NOTHING.

DO YOU SEE A PHONE?

I DON'T SEE A PHONE.

NO PHONE. NO CURSE.

I REST MY CASE.

WHY ME?!

AAH!

Edd: COINCIDENCE, EDDY!

[RING]

Eddy: AAH!

[RING]

BOY, PLANK, YOU SURE ARE A POPULAR GUY.

Eddy: AAH! HELP ME!

ED, EDD N EDDY!

BL-BL-BLUH, YEAH!

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--