Original subtitles

BL-BL-BL-BL-YEAH!

OH, SARAH, COME SEE.

WOWZERS!

IT'S A REAL WISHING WELL, SARAH,

AND A BARGAIN AT 25 CENTS A WISH.

HECK, I'LL MAKE A WISH.

I WISH FOR A--

I WISH FOR MY NAME UP IN LIGHTS.

FAME, GLAMOUR, AND BODYGUARDS.

I WANT TO BE A STAR.

JUST MAKE YOUR STUPID WISH, WILL YOU?

READY? GO.

AHH! HEH HEH HEH!

[SPLASH]

SUPERMARKET TABLOIDS, HERE I COME.

HA HA HA!

THEY FELL FOR IT.

DID YOU SEE THAT?

THE MAGIC OF GEOMETRICAL DRAFTING.

NOTE: THE BRAIN CAN BE FOOLED

BY WHAT THE EYE PERCEIVES.

A SIMPLE OPTICAL ILLUSION, EDDY.

UH, DID YOU WRITE THAT DOWN?

NO. HA HA HA!

GIVE ME THE CASH!

EDDY, TAKING NOTES IS AN ESSENTIAL PART OF LEARNING.

ARE YOU TOUCHING MY FACE?

OH, UM, YES. SORRY.

THE WAY TO A SUCCESSFUL MONEY-MAKING VENTURE REQUIRES--

NO NOTES! LIKE I NEED YOU TO TELL ME HOW TO MAKE CASH.

I WAS BORN TO FLEECE, DOUBLE D.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I THINK I AM?

UNFORTUNATELY, YES.

HAI HAI HAI HAI!

ED?

BANZAI!

GUESS WHAT I AM, GUYS.

AN IDIOT?

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, EDDY.

ED, HELP ME UP.

NOT EVEN CLOSE, DOUBLE D.

SUKIYAKI!

I AM ED, SUMO WRESTLER.

I SAW IT ON TV.

ED, DID YOU BRUSH THIS MORNING?

HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI!

ED, THIS SUMO STUFF'S COOL.

[GIBBERISH]

SAVE IT FOR THE PAYING CUSTOMERS, LUMPY,

'CAUSE I'M GONNA MAKE YOU THE SUMO CHAMP OF THE WORLD.

I'LL BE RICH!

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

NAH. HAI HAI HAI!

HAI HAI HAI HAI!

SUSHI AND CHEESE.

OH, COME ON, ED.

SUMO WRESTLERS EAT TONS OF FOOD.

HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI!

WELL, EDDY, SEEMS FAME AND FORTUNE HAS PASSED YOU BY.

MAYBE JIMMY'S WISH WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER TO FULFILL.

JIMMY?

JIMMY! HE WANTED TO BE FAMOUS,

AND HE'D LOOK GREAT IN A DIAPER.

I WAS JUST KIDDING, EDDY.

JIMMY CAN'T WRESTLE.

THE BRAIN CAN BE FOOLED BY WHAT THE EYE HEAVES.

COME ON, EDD. LEND ME A GUT, WILL YOU?

THAT'S "PERCEIVES," EDDY.

I TOLD YOU TO TAKE NOTES.

[GIBBERISH]

CHOP, CHOP!

WHOA, NELLIE!

[JIMMY HUMMING]

AND HERE'S YOUR AUTOGRAPH, MR. BEAR.

NOW GO PICK SOME BERRIES OR SOMETHING. I'M BUSY.

OH, ANOTHER GROVELING FAN.

MY PUBLIC ADORES ME.

HA HA HA! HOW ABOUT YOU, LITTLE LADY?

GO ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT ONE.

YOU'RE SUCH A FATHEAD.

YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, MR. STAR.

HEY!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

SHIVER ME TIMBERS!

Ed: GO LIKE THIS, JIMMY.

HAI HAI HAI!

PARDON ME?

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

GO GET THE FOOD, ED.

HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI!

HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI!

EDD!

WHAT THE HONORABLE, THICKHEADED TRAINER

IS ATTEMPTING TO DO

IS MAKE JIMMY-SAN A STAR.

ME? A STAR?

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

THE ROAD TO STARDOM STARTS WITH CATERING, KID.

YOU'RE GONNA BE HUGE.

I'M WITH YOU, SVENGALI.

I WANT TO BE A V.I.P.

READY, WILLING, AND ABLE.

MOLD ME.

BINGO!

Ed: JA! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

HA HA HA!

NOTHING SAYS LOVING LIKE SOMETHING FROM THE TOOLSHED.

Eddy: THAT-A BOY, ED.

Edd: YOU TOOK ROLF'S MEAT LOCKER?

DON'T WRECK THE MOOD, GEISHA BOY.

I CAN'T EAT THIS SLOP.

COME WITH ME.

PRIMA DONNA.

MY OWN PRIVATE STOCK.

PEACHES AND CREAM? HA!

SURE, THAT'LL WORK.

[BLOWING WHISTLE]

[WHISTLE]

[BELCH]

I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE HIM BIG!

HE IS HUGE.

HE'S A TON OF FUN.

AND THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING, KID.

YOU'RE MY TICKET TO MOOLAVILLE.

[CRYING]

WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SVELTE PHYSIQUE?

I LOOK LIKE-- LIKE A SUMO WRESTLER.

SUMO WRESTLERS ARE STARS, JIMMY.

SUMO WRESTLERS ARE STARS?

UH, WELL, YES.

THEY'RE HIGHLY REVERED WITHIN THEIR OWN CULTURE.

THEY HAVE LEGIONS OF FANS

WHO CATER TO THEIR EVERY WHIM.

REALLY?

YOU BET, KID.

STEP INTO THE RING AND, HUH?

LOOK AT JIMMY WADDLE.

MY TUSHIE'S TOO BIG.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIER TO BRING THE RING TO JIMMY.

AFTER ALL, HE IS A STAR.

YOKOZUNA ED.

HEAVY-SAN..

OH, WHAT'S ED DOING?

Eddy: YOKOZUNA ED WISHES TO WRESTLE YOU,

AS YOU ARE NOW THE WORLD FAMOUS,

UH, HONORABLE, UH,

I'M-A-FATSO-JIMBO.

Edd: BOY, THAT WAS VERY CLEVER, EDDY.

HEY, I GET AROUND.

YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?

[SCREAMING]

ED VANISHED.

DID I WIN?

COME ON, ED. QUIT FOOLING AROUND.

[GURGLING]

HEY, ED, WHERE ARE YOU?

WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN THERE?

ED?

HEY, LUMPY!

I GOT A WIGGLY IN MY BELLY BUTTON.

GET IT OUT. GET IT OUT!

JUST POP HIM OUT, I'M-A-FATSO.

POP HIM.

OH.

Edd: NOW, JIMMY, YOU BE CAREFUL.

YOU COULD PULL SOMETHING.

THIS IS FUN.

YOU MADE IT, KID. YOU'RE A STAR,

AND I'M GONNA BE SO RICH.

I'M A STAR?

SUMO WRESTLERS ARE REVERED.

IN JAPAN.

YOU'LL HAVE LEGIONS OF FANS

WHO WILL CATER TO YOUR EVERY WHIM.

IN JAPAN.

OK, DOUBLE D.

I'LL BITE.

SO YOUR POINT IS...

SUMO WRESTLERS ARE REVERED, CELEBRATED,

AND AFFLUENT ONLY IN JAPAN, EDDY.

EDDY'S THE MAN WITH THE PLAN.

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GO TO JAPAN?

AAH!

DON'T GIVE UP NOW, EDDY.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

QUIT LIVING IN THE CLOUDS, KID.

THERE'S NO WAY I'M SENDING YOU TO...

[GROANING]

OOPS! HEH HEH HEH!

Eddy: OK, ED.

LOOKS GOOD TO ME.

NOW WHERE'S THAT MAILMAN?

MY PUDGY PECS BURST THE MAILBOX, EDDY.

IT DIDN'T WORK.

OF COURSE IT DIDN'T, EDDY.

GIVEN JIMMY'S IMMENSE PROPORTIONS,

THE MAILBOX WAS BOUND TO BURST.

AND POSTAGE ALONE WOULD COST UP TO $200.

MY SUMO SCAM DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE?

I'M AFRAID NOT, EDDY.

AND YOU KNEW IT!

DID I MAKE YOU LAUGH, DOUBLE D, HUH?

HONESTLY, UM, I JUST FELT

IT WOULD BE A GOOD LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR YOU...

EDDY.

I QUIT! OH!

NO, EDDY. DON'T QUIT.

I TRUSTED YOU. I BELIEVED IN YOU.

IT'LL TAKE ME WEEKS TO TRIM THESE THIGHS.

YOU SAID I WAS A STAR.

CAN I WEAR THAT HAT?

OK. FORGET DOUBLE DRIP.

IT'S JAPAN OR BUST, I TELL YOU.

[EDD SCREAMING]

WE'LL BE EATING WITH CHOPSTICKS IN NO TIME.

Jimmy: I'M GOING TO BE A STAR!

[SIGH]

ALL ABOARD WHO'S GOING ABOARD!

HA HA HA!

ALL PACKED, EDDY.

I GOT MY JAMMIES, UNDIES, SOCKIES,

A TOE CLIPPER, AND A SPONGE.

ASK ME IF I CARE, ED.

LAST CHANCE, DOUBLE D.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

BREAK A LEG.

BIG TIME, HERE I COME.

LET'S BOOGIE.

READY FOR LAUNCH, ED.

UH, NO TIME FOR LUNCH, EDDY,

'CAUSE WE ARE GOING TO JAPAN.

YAHOO!

RISE AND SHINE, GENTLEMEN.

AND HOW ARE WE FEELING THIS MORNING?

[GROANING]

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

DON'T PLAY WITH THE BED, ED.

I HATE TEA.

YOU HAVEN'T LEARNED A THING, HAVE YOU, EDDY?

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

Sarah: MOVE IT, CHUNKY!

IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

I WANT TO SEE SOME SWEAT, MISTER!

BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO EXPLODE.

MOVE IT!

I JUST LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY, DOUBLE D.

YOU HAVE?

TELL ME, EDDY.

WE SHOULD OPEN UP A WEIGHT LOSS CLINIC.

I'D BE RICH!

HEY, JIMMY!

STUPID CAST!

JIMMY!

AAH!

OH!

Edd: WELL, I CERTAINLY LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY.

THAT EDDY IS THE MAN WITH THE PLAN.

HELP!

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

[LAUGHING]

HEY, WHAT'S TAKING YOU?

I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT.

EDDY, I HAVE MY DOUBTS

TO THE SUCCESS OF USING CARPETING

AS A MEANS OF ACHIEVING VIRILITY.

[SIGH]

EVERYONE KNOWS HAIRY PITS ARE A SURE SIGN OF MANLINESS, DOUBLE D.

[SLURPING]

WOW, EDDY.

IS THAT A CARPET?

HA HA HA!

WELL, UH, JONNY SEEMS UNIMPRESSED.

[JONNY LAUGHING]

CHOICE.

HEY, IGNOROID,

WHO'S MORE MATURE NOW, HUH?

HA HA HA!

THE DORK'S FAKING PUBERTY.

HA HA HA!

GOODNESS.

JEALOUS?

HE WISHES HE HAD FUR LIKE THIS.

Nazz: IS THAT CARPETING?

THAT'S SO KINDERGARTEN.

[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]

I HATE IT WHEN THEY CATCH ON.

IT SEEMS UNDERARM GROWTH

IS A POOR EXCUSE FOR MATURITY, EDDY.

SO NOW WHAT?

OH, UM, WE COULD CALL ON ED.

DON'T BOTHER, DOUBLE D. HE IS NOT HOME.

HEY, ED. CHECK OUT THESE PITS.

NICE CARPET, EDDY.

NOW, LET US SEE.

POSITION AND POSE STARTS BY FANNING YOUR TOES

AND PLACING YOUR LEFT FOOT RIGHT.

Edd: WHY, ED.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT.

IN MY MOM'S DREAMS, I CAN.

WHAT'S ED DOING WITH A UKULELE?

THAT'S A VIOLIN, EDDY.

A HAND-CARVED MUSICAL TOUR DE FORCE

WHOSE DELICATE TONE CAN EMIT A DIVERSE RANGE

OF EMOTIONS.

E!

G!

A LITTLE CAT AND DOG, BUT...

B!

WITH A LITTLE PRACTICE...

D!

F!

VIOLINS ARE FOR SISSIES.

BUT, EDDY!

MY MOM SAYS I GOT TO PRACTICE OR--

Edd: THANK YOU.

Eddy: HEY!

I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE NICCOLO PAGANINI IS NO SISSY, EDDY.

GO ON, ED. PRACTICE.

REVEL IN THE VIOLIN'S RESONANCE.

GET RID OF IT, ED!

[CACOPHONY]

VERY GOOD, ED,

BUT MORE ALLEGRO.

SPRIGHTLIER, IF YOU WILL.

[PLAYING FASTER]

WHOO-HOO! THAT'S A REAL TOE-TAPPER, ED.

YOU'RE GIVING ME AND PLANK GOOSE BUMPS.

Edd: BRAVO, ED.

[SIGH]

AH-HA!

I WAS RIGHT. ED STINKS.

OH, COME ON, EDDY.

THIS IS A GOOD THING,

AND ED NEEDS OUR SUPPORT.

IT SOUNDS LIKE A TRAPPED CAT.

AND THAT'S WHY ED SHOULD--

POSITION AND POSE STARTS BY FANNING YOUR TOES.

WAIT, EDDY!

DON'T INTERFERE WITH CULTURAL LEARNING.

[MUSIC STOPS]

OH, DEAR.

IT'S LIKE AN ELEPHANT'S OFF YOUR BACK, HUH, LUMPY?

TELL ME A STORY, EDDY.

Sarah: ED!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PRACTICING.

MOM SAID SO!

I AM SO CONFUSED.

GET OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU TWERP.

MOVE IT!

EDDY, SARAH'S HERE.

SEE, I AM PRACTICING, SARAH.

HANG ON TO YOUR HAT.

[CACOPHONY]

THAT'S REPULSIVE.

[WHISPERING]

YOU'RE AS SLY AS A FOX, GIRLFRIEND.

CALL ME IF THERE'S ANY TROUBLE.

Eddy: THAT'S IT!

I'M SMASHING THAT THING INTO A THOUSAND PIECES.

AAH!

NO, EDDY!

QUIT BUTTING IN.

WE SEEM TO HAVE COMPANY, EDDY.

A DIRECT LINE TO SARAH, SHOULD ANYTHING GO AMISS.

REALLY?

COME ON, EDD.

LET'S FIND A QUIET SPOT AND TUNE THAT VIOLIN.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

OK, ED. LET ME HAVE IT.

MAN, HE'S DEAF!

UNDERNEATH THE BITTER RIND

LIES A SWEET AND SUCCULENT FRUIT, EDDY.

I HATE VIOLINS.

PRACTICE I MUST,

OR SARAH, MY HEAD WILL BUST.

AHEM!

[INDISTINCT]

Jimmy: AAH!

EDDY!

Eddy: I HATE VIOLINS!

DON'T YOU DARE, EDDY!

THAT INSTRUMENT HAS A LEGACY.

AND 4 STRINGS.

POSITION AND POSE STARTS BY FANNING YOUR TOES

AND PLACING YOUR LEFT FOOT RIGHT.

OOH!

EDDY, WAIT!

THE WALLS HAVE EYES!

Eddy: I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT OF IT.

IT'S TOAST.

BUT, EDDY-- ZIP IT.

VERY WELL THEN.

SUCCUMB TO YOUR LOWBROW TACTICS.

SO SHUT UP ALREADY!

BUT BEFORE YOU VIOLATE THE VIOLIN,

EDDY, LOOK UP INTO THAT TREE.

[CHIRPING]

UM, ED, SHOULDN'T YOU BE PRACTICING?

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BIRD.

Jimmy: AAH!

OH, IT IS TWITCHING.

HA HA HA! HA HA HA!

LET'S USE A CHAIN SAW.

NO, EDDY. THINK OF THE CONSEQUENCES.

WHAT IF AN ACCIDENT WERE TO BEFALL ED'S VIOLIN,

AND WHAT IF ACCIDENT

WERE TO HAPPEN IN PLAIN VIEW

FOR SARAH ET AL. TO SEE?

OH, I GET IT.

WHAT DO I GET?

[TIRES SQUEAL]

[OINK, OINK]

WHAT IS THIS?

WHY IS THE LADY OF LIBERTY

LOOMING OVER THE CUL-DE-SAC?

WHAT AN EYESORE.

OH, COME ON, GUYS.

I THINK IT'S CUTE.

THIS BETTER MAKE ME HAPPY, DOUBLE D.

WE'LL ALL HAVE OUR WISH COME TRUE

AFTER THIS, EDDY.

HA HA HA!

POSITION AND POSE STARTS BY FANNING YOUR TOES

AND PLACING YOUR LEFT FOOT RIGHT.

[CACOPHONY]

ED, YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE, DUDE.

AAH! SAVE YOURSELF, DOUBLE D, OLD BOY,

AS THE FIENDISH FIDDLER OF THE MOUNTAIN

TOYS WITH OUR MORTALITY.

HEY, JONNY BOY.

HIYA, EDDY.

HEY, PORCUPINE.

I WANT YOU TO MEET MY PAL,

SAWTOOTH CECIL.

LOOK OUT, PLANK!

I'LL SAVE YOU, BUDDY.

Jonny: BACK OFF, SAWTOOTH CECIL,

YOU BULLY!

WHOA!

OUCH!

WHOA!

AAH!

QUICK. LET'S GO SEE.

WHAT'S WITH THE PIG, DOUBLE D?

IT'S A SURPRISE, EDDY.

SURE. I GET IT.

GO, BABY, GO!

COME ON, COME ON.

I MADE A SPECIAL TREAT FOR YOU, WILFRED.

A VERY POWERFUL MAGNET--

SAFE TO EAT

AND CHOCK FULL OF ESSENTIAL VITAMINS

FOR THAT GROWING YOUNG SWINE.

IT'S IN THE BAG.

GO HOME NOW, AND DON'T TALK TO ANY STRANGERS.

YES!

IT MISSED.

COMPLETELY,

BUT HOW COULD IT BE?

MY COMPUTATIONS WERE PRECISE, RIGOROUS, AND PAINSTAKING.

UH, THIS GOES BEYOND SCIENCE, EDDY.

AN UNFATHOMABLE FORCE HAS SENT US A CLEAR MESSAGE

THAT THE VIOLIN SHALL NOT BE HARMED,

UH, THAT THE VIOLIN SHALL BE PLAYED

AND PRODUCE WONDERFUL--

IT WAS YOU!

ME? HA!

WHY, THAT'S THE SILLIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.

THAT'S IT!

THE STUPID VIOLIN'S TOAST.

YOU HEAR ME?

[ED PLAYING VIOLIN]

EXCUSE ME, ED.

OK. FINE. I CONFESS.

IT WAS I THAT SABOTAGED THE PLAN.

I HAD TO, DON'T YOU SEE?

HOW COULD I JUST LET YOU DEFACE

THIS EXCEPTIONAL DISPLAY OF MAN'S CONTRIBUTION

TO THE SYMPHONIC ARTS?

Eddy: YOU DOUBLE-CROSSER!

WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!

OH, DEAR.

HA HA HA!

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Jimmy: EGADS! I'M TELLING SARAH.

♪ I KNOW WHAT YOU DID

♪ YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE

NO, DON'T TELL, LITTLE BUDDY.

AH, GOOD RIDDANCE.

VIOLINS ARE FOR SISSIES.

WHY, IF I PLAYED AN INSTRUMENT,

I'D GET SOMETHING MANLY,

LIKE A KAZOO OR SOMETHING.

WHAT?

[KNOCK, KNOCK]

UH, EDDY, SARAH'S HERE.

Eddy: POUND DOUBLE D. HE DID IT.

Edd: NO WAY.

YOU STARTED THIS.

NO, NO. WAIT!

Sarah: ED, COME HERE!

RUN AWAY!

ED!

RUN, ED!

Jimmy: HA HA HA!

FARE THEE WELL, O GREAT VIOLIN.

NEVERMORE TO SING THE BRILLIANCE

OF CHOPIN.

NEVERMORE TO SOUND THE SONNETS OF--

LOOK, BABY SISTER. I AM PRACTICING SEE?

Eddy: ED!

TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP

AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL

CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

--www.ncicap.org--

All: ED, EDD, AND EDDY!

Edd: BL-BL-BL-BL-YEAH!