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1
00:00:03,394 --> 00:00:04,961
Oh, hello.
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,484
I was just being sad.
3
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:11,489
On purpose. It's called
"melancholy for fun."
4
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,970
You have to practice
being sad sometimes
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,711
to know what happy is.
6
00:00:15,754 --> 00:00:18,409
♪ I'm never gonna dance again♪
7
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:21,804
♪ Guilty feet
have got no rhythm♪
8
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:24,502
♪ Though it's easy
to pretend...♪
9
00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:27,070
And when I really need a good
cry to get the toxins out,
10
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,376
I do this.
11
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:30,856
[crying]:
I love you all so much.
12
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,815
And I'm gonna do
whatever it takes
13
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:35,035
to find you a forever home.
14
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,645
-[meows]
-I love you more!
15
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:37,950
[sobs]
16
00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:40,083
Kitty kisses all around.
17
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,650
Come here.
18
00:00:43,304 --> 00:00:47,177
But then there are times
when I get sad for real.
19
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,092
Preston's visiting his daughter
in Atlanta
20
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,529
and I can't be alone in
the house with all the ghosts.
21
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:54,010
The little one drives me
up the wall.
22
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,056
So I'm staying with you
for the weekend.
23
00:00:58,449 --> 00:01:00,277
That was 30 minutes ago.
24
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:02,018
Katharine.
25
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,802
Oh, geez.
26
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,326
I brought my dermabrasion tool.
27
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:06,849
Let's get down
to your good skin.
28
00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,069
[tool whirring]
29
00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:12,115
[quietly]:
Help me.
30
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,161
♪
31
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:23,083
Mother, why did you
rearrange all my drawers?
32
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,780
So they would make sense.
33
00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:26,521
I can't find my pajamas.
34
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:28,044
Use your logic.
35
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,828
Where would pajamas be?
36
00:01:29,872 --> 00:01:31,830
Well, in a perfect world,
they would be folded
37
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:33,745
under my pillow, but...
38
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:37,445
Wait a minute, are they folded
under my pillow?
39
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:41,144
Why is there a lipstick
under there, too?
40
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:42,667
Use your logic.
41
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,756
In case there's an emergency
42
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,107
and I end up face-to-face
with a fireman?
43
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,760
No. Because makeup
44
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,154
is what separates us
from the common beast.
45
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,765
[mouths]
46
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:04,167
Kat? What are you doing up
earlier than my biscuits?
47
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,256
It's not safe for me
up there, Phil.
48
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,216
My mother tried to cut my
toenails while I was sleeping.
49
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:10,869
I cut my mama's toenails
50
00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:12,784
'cause her glaucoma
has gotten so bad,
51
00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,569
she can't see her feet.
52
00:02:14,612 --> 00:02:17,006
She tried to offer me
a dollar per toe,
53
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:19,356
but I said, "No way, Mama.
It's on the house.
54
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,619
I don't need the eight dollars."
55
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:26,842
And now her eyes hurt so bad,
56
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,235
the doctor suggested
57
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,933
[whispers]:
medicinal marijuana.
58
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,501
Really?
It's not even legal here.
59
00:02:33,544 --> 00:02:35,677
Don't you tell the cops, Kat.
60
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,070
I'll take you down with me.
61
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,203
SHEILA:
Oh, Katharine.
62
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:44,512
Oh, I woke up alone,
terrified you'd been abducted.
63
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:45,861
They wouldn't have to abduct me.
64
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:48,124
I would go willingly.
65
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,257
Have you brushed
your teeth this morning?
66
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,562
Yes, Mother.
67
00:02:51,606 --> 00:02:53,477
[laughs]:
Because I'm 39 years old.
68
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,784
So if I checked your toothbrush,
it'd be wet?
69
00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:04,488
Okay, Phil, we are all set.
70
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,360
We just have to get there
before they close.
71
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:08,623
Oh, I cannot believe
it's come to this.
72
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,842
Driving two hours to Cincinnati
73
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,714
to buy Mary Jane for my mother
74
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,977
who is also named Mary Jane.
75
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,631
Although, in some ways,
it seems like
76
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,546
it was written in the stars.
77
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:21,244
Oh, we'll make it fun.
Reefer road trip.
78
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,203
We can listen to
my favorite audiobook,
79
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:26,293
Coming Home to Myself
by Wynonna Judd.
80
00:03:26,336 --> 00:03:29,209
You know Ashley
never wanted to sing?
81
00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:31,211
If you hate me,
just say it, Phil.
82
00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:34,779
-Hello there.
-PHIL/RANDI: Hey.
83
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:37,521
Sorry I haven't been
more available to help
84
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,262
at the café that I own,
85
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,656
but my mother added a few things
to my grocery list.
86
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:44,876
Did you know that there are
nine sizes of olives
87
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,488
and she likes the ones
that no one carries.
88
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,446
There are actually 14 sizes.
89
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:52,580
The ones that are the size
of lemur testicles
90
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:56,497
are the hardest to find,
but the sweetest to bite into.
91
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:58,977
Thank you, Wyatt.
92
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:00,544
Um, are you remembering
to be careful
93
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,285
with how you pet the cats?
94
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:06,202
Stop bringing that up.
I didn't have my glasses on.
95
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,205
I'll be down in a minute.
96
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,598
By the way, Randi, cute sweater.
97
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:11,990
I have one just like it.
98
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:13,601
Oh, this is yours.
99
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:14,993
Your mom let me go through
your Goodwill bag.
100
00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:18,606
You don't have a Goodwill bag,
do you?
101
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:23,219
Don't you dare tell her
I took a scarf.
102
00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,183
Mother, what are you doing?
103
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,794
What does it look
like I'm doing?
104
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,491
Use your logic.
105
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,537
Severing our relationship?
106
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,235
Freshening things up.
107
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,500
This is the Pantone Color
of the Year: Classic Blue.
108
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:46,198
First of all, that is
University of Kentucky Blue.
109
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,549
This is the cruelest thing
you can do to a Cards fan.
110
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,464
And second of all,
you have no right
111
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,380
to just change things
in my home without asking.
112
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,686
But blue is supposed
to be calming.
113
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,558
Do I look calm?!
114
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,647
Do I sound calm?!
115
00:04:59,690 --> 00:05:02,911
Trust me, when I'm finished,
you'll love it.
116
00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,173
Grab a brush.
117
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,397
[gasps] Katharine!
118
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:11,876
Well, trust me,
119
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,009
when I'm finished,
you'll love it.
120
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,793
[Sheila screaming]
121
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:19,754
Help! Help! Elder abuse!
122
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,844
Someone help me!
[screams]
123
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,499
She's an elder
and she's abusing me!
124
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,153
You get back here!
125
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:31,069
"Go to a cat café,"
I said to myself.
126
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:34,246
"It'll be a calm place
to get some work done."
127
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,378
[Sheila screaming]
128
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,424
[indistinct shouting]
129
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:40,340
Now, that reminds me
of when my mama
130
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,603
used to chase me around
the house with a hair brush.
131
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:44,822
-[Sheila screaming in distance]
-Were you tender-headed as a child?
132
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,389
Oh, no, no, no.
133
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,391
She was chasing me
to whup my ass with it.
134
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,438
My mama used to spank us
with a spatula.
135
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:53,788
Then she'd go right back
to flipping pancakes.
136
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,224
[Sheila screams]
137
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,791
I mean, we've always
butted heads,
138
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,445
but it's gotten really bad.
139
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,011
Like cage fight bad.
140
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,491
Y'all just can't be
bringing your drama
141
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,971
into the café like that.
142
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,146
Because then it
becomes my drama,
143
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:06,148
and Randi doesn't do drama.
144
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,455
Unless I'm on hold for too long,
and then I go off.
145
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,371
Then you'll have to
help me kill her.
146
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:12,981
And for the remainder
of this conversation,
147
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,113
I'll replace the word "kill"
with "celebrate."
148
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:18,900
So what do you think I should
celebrate her with?
149
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:21,816
You know they don't sell happy
hour nachos in prison, right?
150
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,646
Would you consider therapy
as a plan B
151
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,561
to "celebrating" your mother?
152
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:31,216
I would consider therapy
after I celebrate her.
153
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,523
I was thinking
about couples therapy.
154
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:36,221
My ex, Brigitte,
is a family therapist in France.
155
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:38,702
Used to work with a lot
of parents and their adult kids.
156
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:42,184
[mockingly]: My ex, Brigitte,
is a family therapist...
157
00:06:42,227 --> 00:06:43,881
Sorry, I just had to
get that out.
158
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:46,144
The French have wine and cheese
for every meal
159
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,842
and they still need therapy?
160
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:50,453
Girl, therapy is awesome.
161
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:51,976
I have two online shrinks
that I use.
162
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,674
One who always agrees with me
163
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,153
and another one
who calls Randi out
164
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,503
when she needs to be called out.
165
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,243
Which I kind of like.
166
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:00,855
Word of advice, Kat:
167
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,552
don't let your mama
pick your shrink.
168
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,336
I let Stephanie pick our
counselor when we got separated.
169
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:06,208
He managed to convince me
she should have the house
170
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,166
and the car,
and I can live in the bar
171
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,081
where I seem to spend
all of my time.
172
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,953
I'm telling you right now,
173
00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:14,129
there is no way
on God's green earth
174
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,783
that I am going to therapy
with my mother.
175
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,524
I would rather stick pins
in my eyes,
176
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,656
sleep in a litter box
and eat salad for breakfast.
177
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,484
[Phil sighs]
178
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,181
It sounds like Phil
has something to say.
179
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,618
Thank you, Max.
180
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,533
I just feel that if me and Randi
181
00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:29,057
are gonna risk
federal prosecution
182
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,146
by driving across state lines
183
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:34,062
to buy some Mary Jane-infused
cooking oil
184
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:36,760
and bake it into my sticky buns
to relieve the pain
185
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:39,154
of my mama's glaucoma,
the least you can do
186
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:41,548
is sit on a comfortable couch
with your mama
187
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,332
and talk about your feelings.
188
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:45,856
Hmm.
189
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:46,814
Mm.
190
00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:47,989
RANDI:
Mm.
191
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,428
Mm.
192
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,865
Hello, Doctor.
I'm Sheila Silver.
193
00:07:54,909 --> 00:07:58,260
Miss Jefferson County 1974.
194
00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,566
KAT:
Ha! She means
195
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:01,568
1964. Nice try.
196
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:02,917
[scoffs]
197
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:11,447
So, is this silent thing
you're doing
198
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,144
something you learned
in therapy school?
199
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:15,146
Just be quiet, and eventually
they'll tell you
200
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,800
where they buried the body?
201
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:19,760
That's the police, Mother.
202
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,588
But speaking of school,
203
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:24,634
you've got some pretty
legit-looking diplomas here,
204
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:27,463
Dr. Kevin Khan.
205
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,074
Are therapists really doctors
though?
206
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:32,686
My daughter has a doctorate
in mathematics.
207
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,905
Not that she's doing anything
with that now.
208
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:36,298
[chuckles]
And if someone asked,
209
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,256
"Is there a doctor
on the plane?"
210
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,867
what would she do to help?
211
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,259
Solve for "X"?
212
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,741
Lot of certificates.
213
00:08:44,785 --> 00:08:47,135
Dr. Khan here. Dr. Khan there.
214
00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:48,615
Doctor, Doctor.
215
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,442
BOTH:
♪ Give me the news♪
216
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:53,228
♪ I've got a bad case
of loving you♪
217
00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:56,187
♪ No pill's
gonna cure my ill...♪
218
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,450
You know, Katharine, you're not
singing from your diaphragm.
219
00:08:58,494 --> 00:08:59,626
[strained]:
You're singing from your neck.
220
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,584
Mother, don't go all O&C on me.
221
00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:02,759
What's O&C?
222
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:04,892
You can speak.
223
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,676
But can you sing?
224
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,286
♪ Doctor, Doctor♪
225
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,027
♪ Give me the news♪
226
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:13,509
♪ I've got a bad case
of loving you.♪
227
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:15,990
Randi, I could use your help.
228
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,514
Things are breaking bad
in the kitchen.
229
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,650
I can't remember which pan
is the sticky buns
230
00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,782
and which pan
is the "funny buns."
231
00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:28,872
Phil! Didn't you have a system
to keep them straight?
232
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,744
Yes, I did have a system,
233
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,963
but then you said,
"Cover the register,"
234
00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,704
and so I did,
235
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:37,359
but the whole time I was
thinking, you should've said,
236
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,448
"Cover the register, please."
237
00:09:39,491 --> 00:09:41,624
So then I forgot my system.
238
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,234
Don't make this my fault.
239
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:44,801
I'm trying to help you.
240
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,542
[sniffing]
241
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,805
Okay, usually the nose knows,
242
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:51,112
but I'm getting nothing here
but cinnamon and heaven.
243
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:54,550
That's why the bud consultant
said to get the oil.
244
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,378
It doesn't have a smell.
245
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:58,075
Oh, I feel so much closer to you
246
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:00,295
now that we share
a bud consultant.
247
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,427
Oh, gosh, I got to take the
funny batch to my mother tonight
248
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:05,822
and I don't have time to make a
new batch for tomorrow morning.
249
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,998
Phil, there's no two ways
about it.
250
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:09,913
We've gotta play
"sticky bun roulette."
251
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:12,350
We each try a bun from one
of the batches
252
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:15,092
and see who gets to
ride the dragon.
253
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:17,660
I've never tried pot.
254
00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,706
But then again,
I've never tried sushi.
255
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,143
People seem to love that, so...
256
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:25,059
let's put a saddle
on the dragon.
257
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,022
Doctor, let me explain.
258
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,808
"O&C" stands for
"observe and critique."
259
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,723
When I was little,
my mother would call it a game.
260
00:10:36,766 --> 00:10:39,073
"Let's play O&C," she'd say,
and then she'd look around
261
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:41,815
and find something
to criticize, like...
262
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,991
Oh, that painting
looks like it came from
263
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:46,820
a highway motel rummage sale.
264
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:50,737
And then I was supposed
to say something like, uh...
265
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:53,696
That guy's got tapered fingers.
266
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,698
His hands look like
little starfish.
267
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,352
Oh, good one.
268
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:02,009
-You see? It's a terrible game.
-But by honing in
269
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,620
on the negatives you see
in the world around you,
270
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,189
you learn how to accentuate
the positives in yourself.
271
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,147
You-- you're a doctor,
you get it.
272
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:13,498
And it was a lot more fun than
the games she wanted to play.
273
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:16,371
Like that ridiculous
galloping game.
274
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,331
Galloping isn't a game.
275
00:11:20,375 --> 00:11:22,769
It's a way of life.
276
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,466
And just think how much happier
the world would be
277
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,947
if instead of walking
or running everywhere,
278
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,513
we all galloped.
279
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:29,950
Gives a nice stretch
to the back of the legs,
280
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:32,692
it's very easy on the joints.
281
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:41,309
Hey, I don't feel anything,
do you?
282
00:11:41,352 --> 00:11:44,355
I don't feel anything either.
Not even my arms.
283
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:47,097
But my wings are taking me
wherever I need to go.
284
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:50,318
I keep thinking,
why have I not used 'em before?
285
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:53,060
O-Okay, buddy,
you know what, uh,
286
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,018
why don't you go in the kitchen
and make sure all the spices
287
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,803
are where they're supposed to
be, and-and I'll check on you
288
00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,326
in a few minutes, okay?
289
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:01,764
I'm flying.
290
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:05,768
Hey, Wyatt, how can I help you?
291
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:08,205
One of the cats
licked my coffee.
292
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,641
Can I have a fresh one?
293
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:12,209
W... Wyatt, this is empty.
294
00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:14,124
Just say you want a refill.
They're free.
295
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,039
PHIL:
Randi, Randi, come quick!
296
00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,388
Excuse me.
297
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,436
Randi, look--
I finally have flat splits.
298
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,833
She'd throw a tantrum
if I wouldn't
299
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,399
gallop through the mall
with her.
300
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,010
But what would
people have thought?
301
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,316
People would have thought
it was such a sweet thing
302
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,883
for a mother to do
with her daughter.
303
00:12:33,927 --> 00:12:35,667
You were 15.
People would have wondered
304
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,539
why I didn't
get you the help you needed.
305
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,194
Just because you couldn't
relate to me
306
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:42,065
doesn't mean
something was wrong with me.
307
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:45,025
Dad used to gallop home from
school with me all the time.
308
00:12:45,068 --> 00:12:46,591
He was better at it than I was.
309
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,506
Sometimes he'd be, like,
a full two blocks ahead.
310
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:52,075
I once hitched a ride with
a dude in a van to catch up.
311
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,903
Your father indulged you.
312
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:55,122
He accepted me.
313
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,080
I wanted society to accept you.
314
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:59,517
You want me
to be a mini version of you
315
00:12:59,561 --> 00:13:02,825
and are constantly
disappointed because I'm not.
316
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,132
Oh, it's always the mother's
fault. Getting blamed
317
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,873
for wanting the best
for her child.
318
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:09,049
Well, I'm sorry your father's
not here, Katharine.
319
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,354
I'm sorry I didn't die first.
320
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:11,747
Yeah, me, too.
321
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,406
Did I just say that out loud?
322
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:27,502
Mother, I didn't
mean it like that.
323
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,678
I wish nobody was dead, ever.
324
00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,941
Yes, you did.
It's fine.
325
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,725
How long ago did he pass?
326
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:36,032
-Eight and a half months.
-Eight and a half months.
327
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:39,079
She was always a daddy's girl.
Running to him for help
328
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:41,516
when she didn't
want to do what I asked.
329
00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,431
Like beauty pageants.
330
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,433
I didn't want to do 'em to begin
with, then when she forced me,
331
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,000
she didn't even
let me pick my own talent.
332
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,872
The ventriloquists never win.
333
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,700
That's because they had never
seen a ventriloquist
334
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:53,180
with a dummy dressed as a mummy.
335
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:55,051
A dummy mummy--
it would've killed.
336
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,879
SHEILA:
Anyway, he let her quit.
337
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,838
Don't worry, she got back at him
338
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,796
by bringing a date
to his funeral.
339
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,667
What are you talking about?
340
00:14:02,711 --> 00:14:05,018
Oh, our neighbor Preston
lives with her now.
341
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,758
They were quite lovey-dovey
at the funeral.
342
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:09,196
Holding on to each other.
Rubbing each other's arms.
343
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:11,807
He was holding me up.
And of course Preston
344
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,592
would come to the funeral--
he was Harley's friend.
345
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,986
They went in halfsies
on a tractor mower.
346
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,510
Well, Preston's doing
all the mowing now.
347
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,384
You replaced Dad with him.
348
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:26,256
Well, you replaced Dad
with a bunch of feral cats.
349
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,999
She had a whole career in
academia and threw it all away
350
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:32,915
to serve coffee
and clean litter boxes.
351
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:36,571
I quit a job I hated
to create a job I loved.
352
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,312
Dad would've appreciated that.
353
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,227
He always wanted
to open a tank museum.
354
00:14:40,270 --> 00:14:43,447
-War tanks, not fish tanks.
-War tanks, not fish tanks.
355
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,624
I honored him with my choice.
356
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:49,018
Well, I honored him by
bringing Preston into my life.
357
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,499
Oh, please.
358
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:54,328
I'd been married to Harley
since I was 20 years old.
359
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:58,027
When he died, Dr. Carl had to
prescribe me antidepressants
360
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,116
just so I could get out of bed.
361
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,119
You took antidepressants?
Which ones?
362
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:05,339
You know, the one with
the commercial where the woman
363
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:07,907
hangs on to a red balloon
as it flies over the city.
364
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,256
I tried those, too.
365
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:10,431
-Really?
-Yeah,
366
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,520
they gave me diarrhea.
367
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:15,697
So I switched to the one where
the cartoon dog digs a hole
368
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,394
and buries the woman's
depression like a bone.
369
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:18,874
Those are the ones
I tried first,
370
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,571
but they made me constipated.
371
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,791
Huh.
372
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:26,186
Isn't it interesting how two
people can try the same thing
373
00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,623
and have a very different
experience?
374
00:15:29,624 --> 00:15:31,669
Thank you.
Ever so.
375
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,459
All right, Phil, let's roll.
376
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,201
Phil?
377
00:15:41,244 --> 00:15:44,682
Uh-oh.
Randi lost Phil.
378
00:15:44,726 --> 00:15:46,206
Phil?
379
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,599
Y'all, don't freak out,
I'm right here.
380
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,645
Yeah, we see you, Phil.
381
00:15:50,688 --> 00:15:52,125
You can see me?
382
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,953
You're the only ones.
383
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,087
Phil.
Oh, thank God you're here.
384
00:15:58,131 --> 00:15:59,436
Oh, hi, Randi.
385
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,264
Randi can see me too
386
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:03,223
'cause we share the same blood.
387
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:06,269
Oh, excuse me.
I got a song in my head.
388
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,880
I've got to be the music.
389
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:16,976
So, Phil ate one of his sticky
buns that he made for his mama,
390
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,239
and now he's high as a kite
and thinks he's invisible.
391
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,502
That would explain why he
ordered the mac and cheese balls
392
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,373
with a side of hot fudge.
393
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:27,073
Is the irony of getting high
for your mom lost on anybody?
394
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:28,900
My mom found weed in my room--
395
00:16:28,944 --> 00:16:30,032
she dragged me
straight to church
396
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:31,599
to pray the devil out of me.
397
00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:35,342
I can't even drink wine in front
of my mom. It makes her cry.
398
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,300
[Southern accent]:
"I'm just so worried about your liver
399
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,955
'cause I love
every part of you so much."
400
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,175
[regular accent]:
She thinks I just play the piano here.
401
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:45,178
Oh, you guys are making me feel
like maybe I should call my mom.
402
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,440
When's the last time
you talked to her?
403
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:47,789
Like, a year ago.
404
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,312
-What happened?
-You kidding?
405
00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:50,574
Well, I'm a little hazy
on the details,
406
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:51,880
but I know I was right.
407
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,927
[ghostly]:
Ooh...
408
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:58,452
They're floating.
How did they do that?
409
00:16:58,495 --> 00:17:00,062
-Uh-oh.
-Ooh, ooh!
410
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,543
What else can float?
Here comes the purse.
411
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:05,502
Ooh. I'm gonna
put my hand in its guts!
412
00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:07,635
Time to hand out
some drink vouchers.
413
00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:09,637
W...
414
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,987
I forget that I'm invisible
415
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,120
but my clothes aren't.
Off they go.
416
00:17:14,163 --> 00:17:15,556
Wait, wait!
417
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:17,514
-No, Phil, don't do that.
-[shouting]
418
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:21,170
I started taking antidepressants
because I kept thinking
419
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:24,260
I saw Dad in the café
drinking coffee.
420
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,262
Harley wouldn't be caught dead
drinking coffee.
421
00:17:26,306 --> 00:17:27,568
Exactly.
But then I thought,
422
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:30,440
"Well, he is dead, so maybe."
423
00:17:31,876 --> 00:17:33,704
And then one time
I saw him on the street.
424
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:36,142
I could tell by the way he
was walking that-that his knee
425
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:39,319
was bothering him,
so I started chasing after him
426
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:42,104
to tell him to go to the doctor
who did his hip surgery.
427
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,845
But I-I... Actually,
I was gonna tell him, like,
428
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:47,109
"You knee-ed to go
to the doctor." You get it?
429
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,764
My dad would have loved that.
He was a very punny guy.
430
00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,984
And then when I finally caught
up with him, it was an old lady.
431
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:56,031
In my defense, she had
a mustache like Dad's, you know.
432
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,078
I hugged her.
We're still in touch.
433
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:01,689
I'm sorry I was so wrapped up
in my own grief,
434
00:18:01,732 --> 00:18:03,256
I couldn't help you with yours.
435
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,955
Can I give you a hug?
436
00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:20,142
For the record, I... I think
Preston's a really nice guy.
437
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,492
You know, he's just...
438
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,146
he's not Dad.
439
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:26,931
Not even close.
440
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:31,501
Well, that's all the time
we have for today.
441
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,417
Wow. Well,
442
00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:36,637
this turned out
better than I thought.
443
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,073
And this was only
our first visit--
444
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,857
imagine what's gonna
happen next week.
445
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:43,383
Yes, I'm excited for him
to see you with lipstick on.
446
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,907
There's not gonna
be a next week.
447
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,604
Well, at least not here.
448
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,737
Why?
Are you retiring?
449
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,217
That's what happened
with my dentist
450
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,654
halfway through my root canal.
451
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,874
No, but therapy needs to be
a good fit for both parties,
452
00:18:56,918 --> 00:18:59,529
and you're not a good fit for me
453
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:03,185
and my little starfish hands.
454
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:07,189
I just meant in comparison
to the starfish
455
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,582
that are, like, three feet long.
456
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,890
Like the ones you find
near Alaska.
457
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,116
I'll tell you one thing--
458
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,683
I'm never going
to therapy again.
459
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:24,772
You know what
I'm never gonna do again?
460
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:27,601
♪ I'm never gonna dance again♪
461
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:31,431
♪ Guilty feet
have got no rhythm♪
462
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,476
♪ Though it's easy to pretend♪
463
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,436
♪ I know you're not a fool♪
464
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:37,959
-♪ Should have known better♪
-♪ Should have known better♪
465
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:39,961
♪ Than to cheat a friend♪
466
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:43,225
♪ And waste a chance
that I've been given...♪
467
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:45,445
What happened to me?
468
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:48,665
You got the funny bun,
you lucky duck.
469
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:50,276
[phone rings]
470
00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,626
Oh, I've got to take this.
471
00:19:52,669 --> 00:19:54,976
Hey, Mom,
thanks for calling me back.
472
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,065
♪
473
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:23,091
♪ Tonight the music
seems so loud♪
474
00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:26,442
♪ I wish that we could
lose this crowd♪
475
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:29,402
-Come on.
-♪ Maybe it's better this way♪
476
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:32,318
♪ We'd hurt each other with
the things we'd want to say♪
477
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:35,886
♪ We could have been
so good together♪
478
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:38,367
♪ We could have
lived this dance forever♪
479
00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:40,326
-Shake it!
-♪ But now♪
480
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:43,024
♪ Who's gonna dance with me...♪
481
00:20:43,074 --> 00:20:47,624
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