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1
00:00:07,897 --> 00:00:09,351
Ten minutes till the meeting.
2
00:00:09,399 --> 00:00:10,477
Great. How do I look?
3
00:00:10,525 --> 00:00:12,068
Do I look, uh, confident?
4
00:00:12,151 --> 00:00:13,688
Mm, your lip is very sweaty.
5
00:00:13,736 --> 00:00:15,279
I pay you more than enough
money to lie.
6
00:00:15,423 --> 00:00:17,722
God damn it.
A mid-season strike? Really?
7
00:00:17,771 --> 00:00:20,047
I mean, I thought the ruling class
8
00:00:20,096 --> 00:00:21,786
crushed organized labor years ago.
9
00:00:21,835 --> 00:00:23,045
How is this even legal?
10
00:00:23,094 --> 00:00:24,554
It's not, unless they have proof
11
00:00:24,603 --> 00:00:26,520
that we aren't negotiating
in good faith.
12
00:00:26,569 --> 00:00:28,248
Which they have,
since you sent them a memo
13
00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:30,094
outlining all your big changes,
14
00:00:30,143 --> 00:00:31,515
which I am still baffled by.
15
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:34,076
I got confused
between a Limon Shout Out
16
00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:35,345
and a Limon Roll Call.
17
00:00:35,394 --> 00:00:36,892
Seriously? I didn't think
18
00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:39,694
this kind of elderly internet
accident was still possible.
19
00:00:39,834 --> 00:00:42,045
Look, the bottom line is,
10:00 a.m. tomorrow,
20
00:00:42,094 --> 00:00:44,222
those players are gonna
walk off that field.
21
00:00:44,271 --> 00:00:46,565
God, I never felt such pressure
in my whole life.
22
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:47,754
I make a living describing
23
00:00:47,803 --> 00:00:49,471
other people's actions from a distance,
24
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,152
but actually doing things is hard.
25
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:53,333
It's... it's terrible.
I'm not built for it.
26
00:00:53,413 --> 00:00:55,082
God, I need some fresh air.
27
00:00:58,752 --> 00:01:00,295
Okay, I'm in a real hurry here, Limon.
28
00:01:00,344 --> 00:01:02,697
Let's call up something saucy
and to the point, shall we?
29
00:01:02,746 --> 00:01:04,414
Cueing selects from Mr. Magorium's
30
00:01:04,463 --> 00:01:05,839
"Man On the Go" playlist.
31
00:01:06,093 --> 00:01:08,004
Gosh, I hate to be a Choosy Charlie,
32
00:01:08,053 --> 00:01:09,471
but can she be a redhead?
33
00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,772
Oh, God bless you, Limon.
34
00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:12,573
God, what a time to be alive
35
00:01:12,622 --> 00:01:14,992
and masturbating in an office bathroom.
36
00:01:16,301 --> 00:01:18,803
Jim, I've noticed
a tremor in your hand.
37
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:20,682
Kind of the point right now, isn't it?
38
00:01:20,753 --> 00:01:22,045
This is different.
39
00:01:22,094 --> 00:01:24,430
It could be a trapped nerve,
an overactive thyroid,
40
00:01:24,479 --> 00:01:25,613
mercury poisoning...
41
00:01:25,727 --> 00:01:26,811
You know, I do pride myself
42
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:28,299
on my singular sexual focus,
43
00:01:28,348 --> 00:01:29,411
but you're really, uh,
44
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,298
deboning my boner right now, Limon.
45
00:01:31,347 --> 00:01:32,853
I recommend taking a blood test.
46
00:01:32,901 --> 00:01:35,072
- Do I have your consent?
- Oh, yeah...
47
00:01:35,121 --> 00:01:36,834
Ow! Shit! God!
48
00:01:36,905 --> 00:01:38,525
What, you got a needle in there?
49
00:01:38,573 --> 00:01:40,700
Sending this for analysis.
Please continue.
50
00:01:40,749 --> 00:01:42,487
Not sure I'm in the mood anymore.
51
00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:43,822
I could add another redhead.
52
00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:45,198
Well, don't just talk about it.
53
00:01:45,246 --> 00:01:47,248
Let's take this cock train
to Ginger Valley.
54
00:01:47,297 --> 00:01:48,590
Come on!
55
00:01:48,666 --> 00:01:49,786
Nice.
56
00:01:49,834 --> 00:01:51,371
Nice! My goodness.
57
00:01:51,419 --> 00:01:52,643
She is a biggun.
58
00:01:52,692 --> 00:01:53,945
Mm-mm-mm.
59
00:01:57,759 --> 00:01:59,546
Pre-meeting jerk sesh go well?
60
00:01:59,594 --> 00:02:01,673
I came to a satisfactory conclusion.
61
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:03,139
- Thank you.
- Great.
62
00:02:03,544 --> 00:02:05,558
The terms of the meeting just changed.
63
00:02:05,975 --> 00:02:07,554
"Structured mediation will take place
64
00:02:07,602 --> 00:02:08,680
"in one-hour sessions
65
00:02:08,728 --> 00:02:10,688
immediately followed
by one-hour breaks."
66
00:02:10,772 --> 00:02:12,732
Jesus Christ, we only have 24 hours.
67
00:02:12,815 --> 00:02:14,311
The guy just took away 12 of 'em.
68
00:02:14,359 --> 00:02:15,783
Classic Finnegan strategy.
69
00:02:15,832 --> 00:02:18,626
Delay, distract, keep us off balance.
70
00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:20,258
Harold K. Finnegan.
71
00:02:20,338 --> 00:02:22,825
Sounds like a leprechaun CPA,
doesn't he?
72
00:02:23,306 --> 00:02:24,821
He's the biggest negotiator
in the game.
73
00:02:24,869 --> 00:02:25,989
He single-handedly
74
00:02:26,037 --> 00:02:27,437
brought the teamsters
back from the dead.
75
00:02:27,485 --> 00:02:29,117
Jesus. Is this guy mobbed up?
76
00:02:29,354 --> 00:02:30,493
He's a respected union leader.
77
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:31,953
- Of course he's mobbed up.
- Ugh.
78
00:02:32,001 --> 00:02:34,623
The players were so angry
after the last two lockouts,
79
00:02:34,672 --> 00:02:36,791
they hired the biggest gun they could.
80
00:02:36,839 --> 00:02:38,043
Well, he's very good,
81
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:39,920
'cause I can already taste
the metal in my mouth.
82
00:02:39,968 --> 00:02:41,504
I mean, don't these guys know
83
00:02:41,552 --> 00:02:44,328
that another strike is just
gonna kill this game dead?
84
00:02:44,383 --> 00:02:46,359
Of course they do, which is
why they have all the leverage.
85
00:02:46,408 --> 00:02:47,790
But don't worry; I know
86
00:02:47,839 --> 00:02:49,528
what the players are
looking for in this new deal,
87
00:02:49,577 --> 00:02:50,938
and it's all in our proposal,
88
00:02:50,987 --> 00:02:52,408
along with some incentives
89
00:02:52,457 --> 00:02:54,434
to buy their approval of the
things that they don't want.
90
00:02:54,482 --> 00:02:55,602
That makes me feel better.
91
00:02:55,650 --> 00:02:56,770
Plus, I'm on enough Adderall
92
00:02:56,818 --> 00:02:58,814
to fly a fighter plane with my mind.
93
00:02:58,863 --> 00:03:00,519
That makes me feel worse.
94
00:03:00,637 --> 00:03:02,011
Hey, um...
95
00:03:02,365 --> 00:03:04,611
About what I said in your apartment...
96
00:03:04,659 --> 00:03:06,071
No, please don't worry about that.
97
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,072
You were absolutely right.
98
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,371
Led to a very good conversation
99
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:09,866
that Beth and I really needed to have,
100
00:03:09,914 --> 00:03:11,826
so in fact, thank you.
101
00:03:11,874 --> 00:03:13,584
Okay. She called me...
102
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,748
And told me that
if I was still interested,
103
00:03:16,796 --> 00:03:17,958
I should make a move,
104
00:03:18,006 --> 00:03:19,169
So...
105
00:03:19,338 --> 00:03:20,423
This is me...
106
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:23,136
Making a move.
107
00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:26,949
Now is not the time.
108
00:03:27,126 --> 00:03:29,689
To get into the Vietnam-level quagmire
109
00:03:29,738 --> 00:03:30,898
that is known as our relationship.
110
00:03:30,946 --> 00:03:31,972
Can we just focus, please?
111
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:33,187
We're about to go in there.
112
00:03:33,257 --> 00:03:34,307
How should we kick things off?
113
00:03:34,355 --> 00:03:35,725
Maybe a little name-game action?
114
00:03:35,773 --> 00:03:37,684
Maybe some fun facts about ourselves
115
00:03:37,733 --> 00:03:38,794
thrown in, like uh,
116
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:40,097
"How you doing, everybody? I'm Jim."
117
00:03:40,152 --> 00:03:41,224
"I once played"
118
00:03:41,273 --> 00:03:42,970
"the voice of a sportscasting bulldog,"
119
00:03:43,019 --> 00:03:44,379
"in the movie 'Look Who's Talking Now.'"
120
00:03:44,427 --> 00:03:45,568
Jim, I actually don't want you
121
00:03:45,616 --> 00:03:46,903
in the negotiations with me.
122
00:03:46,951 --> 00:03:49,162
You're just so terrible at
123
00:03:49,211 --> 00:03:51,581
contracts and money.
124
00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:53,827
All responsible adult things, really.
125
00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:54,995
Actually, really good call,
126
00:03:55,043 --> 00:03:57,436
'cause I drive
an unbelievably soft bargain.
127
00:03:57,485 --> 00:03:59,403
I'm gonna go bang
this thing out in half an hour,
128
00:03:59,452 --> 00:04:01,669
and then I think you and I should, uh,
129
00:04:01,819 --> 00:04:03,623
- get dinner and talk.
- Half hour, huh?
130
00:04:03,672 --> 00:04:04,735
Why don't you just solve
131
00:04:04,784 --> 00:04:06,064
The Disputed Lands while you're at it?
132
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,267
Get me some more Adderall,
133
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:08,830
and I'll see what I can do.
134
00:04:08,879 --> 00:04:10,725
More drugs. That's...
that's what you need.
135
00:04:16,189 --> 00:04:18,351
Robot umps, pitch clocks,
136
00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:19,567
goddamn body cameras?
137
00:04:19,616 --> 00:04:20,993
We're just asking for a little trust.
138
00:04:21,042 --> 00:04:23,247
You guys made me wear
a Colonizers jersey.
139
00:04:23,549 --> 00:04:25,233
What are my racist in-laws
supposed to think?
140
00:04:25,281 --> 00:04:27,033
Limon, the test footage, please.
141
00:04:28,117 --> 00:04:29,404
Stay up, stay up, stay up,
142
00:04:29,452 --> 00:04:31,281
stay up, stay up... yes!
143
00:04:31,329 --> 00:04:32,324
So I'm supposed to be impressed
144
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,706
by some new camera angle?
145
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,078
That catch brought to you
by Fever Dream Mattress.
146
00:04:37,126 --> 00:04:38,496
God, I wish I could be
147
00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,126
on a Fever Dream mattress right now.
148
00:04:40,175 --> 00:04:41,593
The ground is freakin' hard.
149
00:04:42,253 --> 00:04:44,165
Players receive 80%,
150
00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:46,898
of ad revenue from livestreaming,
which...
151
00:04:47,136 --> 00:04:49,205
They can do through the entire game.
152
00:04:49,254 --> 00:04:51,294
But we're not done
putting money in your pocket.
153
00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:53,302
We're reducing service time to just
154
00:04:53,351 --> 00:04:55,943
five years of team control.
155
00:05:10,326 --> 00:05:12,155
? Pack up your troubles ?
156
00:05:12,203 --> 00:05:14,016
? In your old kit bag ?
157
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:16,701
? And smile, smile, smile ?
158
00:05:16,851 --> 00:05:19,354
Finnegan, what's goin' on?
159
00:05:19,547 --> 00:05:20,867
Well, I just figured,
if we were wasting
160
00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:22,074
each other's time, I might as well
161
00:05:22,123 --> 00:05:23,593
be entertaining while we do it.
162
00:05:23,642 --> 00:05:26,220
- [LIGHT LAUGHTER]
- ? Don't let your joy and laughter ?
163
00:05:26,269 --> 00:05:27,379
? Hit a snag ?
164
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,880
? Just smile, boys ?
165
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,174
? That's the style ?
166
00:05:31,441 --> 00:05:33,838
What,
do you think you're gonna do your little
167
00:05:33,887 --> 00:05:35,767
dance on the table,
and then we're gonna
168
00:05:35,816 --> 00:05:37,420
forget what we're doing here?
169
00:05:45,486 --> 00:05:48,072
God damn it, he's good.
170
00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:55,299
That mustachioed son of a bitch
171
00:05:55,348 --> 00:05:56,813
never even countered!
172
00:05:56,966 --> 00:05:59,260
His feet did all the talking.
173
00:06:07,624 --> 00:06:09,400
Why can't we be together?
174
00:06:09,496 --> 00:06:11,027
I thought we agreed to table this one.
175
00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,912
I changed my mind. I'm fun like that.
176
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,974
I suppose we could be a couple in,
like,
177
00:06:15,023 --> 00:06:17,123
- a perfect world.
- So we could work as a couple.
178
00:06:17,172 --> 00:06:19,419
- That's not what I meant.
- That's what you said.
179
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:20,807
We just have to figure out what this
180
00:06:20,856 --> 00:06:22,588
perfect world is, no problem.
181
00:06:22,636 --> 00:06:24,260
Actually, there are quite
a lot of problems.
182
00:06:24,309 --> 00:06:26,280
- Name one.
- For starters, uh,
183
00:06:26,329 --> 00:06:27,760
I don't wanna give up my membership
184
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:29,163
to the Sanctum Social Club.
185
00:06:29,212 --> 00:06:30,321
The orgy club?
186
00:06:30,370 --> 00:06:31,781
It's so much more than
just an orgy club.
187
00:06:31,830 --> 00:06:34,452
I mean, yeah, people
are constantly having sex
188
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:35,919
in easily hosed-down corners,
189
00:06:35,968 --> 00:06:37,768
but they're the nicest people
you'd ever want to meet,
190
00:06:37,816 --> 00:06:39,757
and the shrimp cocktail,
my hand to God,
191
00:06:39,903 --> 00:06:41,780
it's the best in the city.
192
00:06:42,197 --> 00:06:44,450
I will not take off my clothes
193
00:06:44,499 --> 00:06:46,081
for you and your ex-wife's
194
00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:47,590
sex buffet.
195
00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:48,851
Fine.
196
00:06:49,495 --> 00:06:51,930
I could maybe agree
to the occasional...
197
00:06:52,015 --> 00:06:53,619
Seafood...
198
00:06:54,215 --> 00:06:56,916
- Voyeurism combo platter.
- That's great.
199
00:06:56,973 --> 00:06:58,614
And you'll see,
I'm not kidding about the shrimp.
200
00:06:58,662 --> 00:07:00,125
They make their own sauce in-house.
201
00:07:00,174 --> 00:07:01,623
They want you back at the table.
202
00:07:01,672 --> 00:07:03,084
We're supposed to have an hour.
203
00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:05,045
They said something about bylaws.
204
00:07:06,956 --> 00:07:08,207
Finnegan...
205
00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:12,571
I understand your anger.
206
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,510
Most of these owners are...
207
00:07:14,919 --> 00:07:16,206
Monsters.
208
00:07:16,255 --> 00:07:17,583
But I'm not like that,
209
00:07:17,632 --> 00:07:19,794
and it's reflected in my proposal.
210
00:07:19,934 --> 00:07:21,300
Any of you see that I
211
00:07:21,349 --> 00:07:23,758
included a living wage
for minor-league players?
212
00:07:23,807 --> 00:07:25,219
You didn't ask for that.
213
00:07:25,366 --> 00:07:28,070
But I believe that everyone
who plays this game
214
00:07:28,118 --> 00:07:29,458
deserves to be taken care of.
215
00:07:29,507 --> 00:07:31,077
Well said.
216
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,386
Oh.
217
00:07:32,498 --> 00:07:34,098
Could you refresh my memory?
218
00:07:34,249 --> 00:07:36,787
Where did you first meet
Commissioner Brockmire?
219
00:07:36,895 --> 00:07:38,932
- At Morristown.
- Morristown.
220
00:07:39,171 --> 00:07:41,674
And what was your job title
at Morristown?
221
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:45,046
Owner.
222
00:07:45,157 --> 00:07:46,241
Owner?
223
00:07:47,630 --> 00:07:49,487
Owner of a baseball team.
224
00:07:49,536 --> 00:07:52,047
Well... well,
then it sounds like you're...
225
00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:54,472
Very much like those
people you were talking about.
226
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,581
In fact,
227
00:07:55,630 --> 00:07:56,772
doesn't that make you literally
228
00:07:56,821 --> 00:07:58,375
- the same thing?
- No, it's not the same thing.
229
00:07:58,424 --> 00:08:01,178
My dad was a ball player,
just like you.
230
00:08:01,227 --> 00:08:03,521
Sorry, didn't you cut
your father from the team,
231
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,171
effectively ending his career?
232
00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:07,592
Because he couldn't
catch up to a fastball.
233
00:08:07,641 --> 00:08:09,976
His body was breaking down.
234
00:08:10,953 --> 00:08:12,573
How... how did you know about that?
235
00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:14,332
I know a great many things,
236
00:08:14,436 --> 00:08:17,099
Julia Arlene James,
237
00:08:17,251 --> 00:08:19,109
and I have a lot more up my sleeve.
238
00:08:19,185 --> 00:08:20,498
Care to check?
239
00:08:20,649 --> 00:08:22,400
Absolutely not.
240
00:08:24,692 --> 00:08:25,868
Oh.
241
00:08:33,202 --> 00:08:34,655
What's that?
242
00:08:35,060 --> 00:08:37,396
That shouldn't be in there, should it?
243
00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:40,211
Wh...
244
00:08:40,740 --> 00:08:44,780
Behold the awesome power of whimsy.
245
00:09:02,212 --> 00:09:05,090
Uh, things going any better?
246
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:06,718
Worse.
247
00:09:06,925 --> 00:09:09,720
He knows my middle name and magic.
248
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,736
- Great.
- So...
249
00:09:11,799 --> 00:09:13,050
What's it gonna take
250
00:09:13,098 --> 00:09:16,053
to get you and me
in a relationship today?
251
00:09:16,101 --> 00:09:17,503
Jules, impossible things,
252
00:09:17,552 --> 00:09:18,733
like drinking less.
253
00:09:18,782 --> 00:09:20,152
I can do that.
254
00:09:20,365 --> 00:09:21,950
What if I go down to, say,
255
00:09:21,999 --> 00:09:23,097
three nights a week?
256
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,198
- It's a bald-faced lie.
- Six nights a week?
257
00:09:25,297 --> 00:09:27,091
I will be sober on Cocaine Wednesdays.
258
00:09:27,159 --> 00:09:29,066
Well, you do light up the world
259
00:09:29,114 --> 00:09:30,394
when you're on cocaine.
260
00:09:30,474 --> 00:09:31,700
Give you that.
261
00:09:32,719 --> 00:09:34,232
We're getting somewhere.
262
00:09:35,931 --> 00:09:38,133
Every kid in America
is wearing Colonizers merch,
263
00:09:38,182 --> 00:09:39,600
and we aren't seeing a penny.
264
00:09:40,644 --> 00:09:41,973
I know that!
265
00:09:42,136 --> 00:09:47,645
My proposal takes you from zero to 25%.
266
00:09:47,693 --> 00:09:48,813
Ms. James, could you please
267
00:09:48,861 --> 00:09:50,904
take these discussions seriously?
268
00:09:51,106 --> 00:09:52,810
I'm not taking them seriously?
269
00:09:52,927 --> 00:09:54,672
FYI, key to a good Caesar:
270
00:09:54,721 --> 00:09:57,613
dry, crisp lettuce and at least
six real anchovies.
271
00:09:57,661 --> 00:09:58,713
Come and get it, boys.
272
00:09:58,762 --> 00:10:00,190
Okay, so right...
273
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:02,294
Here.
274
00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:05,508
Great. Wait till you taste this.
275
00:10:13,427 --> 00:10:14,630
I wouldn't eat any of Finnegan's
276
00:10:14,678 --> 00:10:16,722
Mediterranean buffet out of spite.
277
00:10:17,973 --> 00:10:19,433
Where are we at?
278
00:10:19,516 --> 00:10:20,761
Us?
279
00:10:20,963 --> 00:10:22,013
Look, Jules,
280
00:10:22,061 --> 00:10:23,514
even if you could drink fewer nights,
281
00:10:23,562 --> 00:10:25,266
which boy, does that remain to be seen,
282
00:10:25,314 --> 00:10:27,184
I cannot have a Julia-James level
283
00:10:27,232 --> 00:10:28,769
of alcohol in my home, okay?
284
00:10:28,817 --> 00:10:31,528
I mean, I host AA meetings
there, for crying out loud.
285
00:10:31,612 --> 00:10:33,267
I'm handy.
286
00:10:33,316 --> 00:10:35,026
I'll build a she-shed on the roof
287
00:10:35,074 --> 00:10:36,340
and keep my booze there.
288
00:10:36,389 --> 00:10:37,744
You know, that could actually work,
289
00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:39,405
'cause I never do go up on the roof.
290
00:10:39,523 --> 00:10:41,200
Plus,
I think my neighbor's been feeding
291
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:42,641
the goddamn pigeons up there,
292
00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:45,328
flappy little dead-eyed
sacks of shit that they are.
293
00:10:46,042 --> 00:10:48,122
Boy, you know, we're actually
getting pretty darn close.
294
00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:49,999
I don't know how anybody
says no to you.
295
00:10:50,047 --> 00:10:52,251
No, no, no.
296
00:10:52,299 --> 00:10:54,462
No robot umps ever!
297
00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:55,678
We need a human on the field,
298
00:10:55,761 --> 00:10:57,089
a real person to communicate with.
299
00:10:57,137 --> 00:10:58,758
And you will have that!
300
00:10:58,806 --> 00:11:00,384
A computer's calling balls and strikes,
301
00:11:00,432 --> 00:11:02,094
but there will be a human ump
302
00:11:02,142 --> 00:11:04,388
dressed as a robot out on the field.
303
00:11:04,436 --> 00:11:05,898
Really?
304
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,866
That does have a whiff of...
305
00:11:07,915 --> 00:11:09,439
Old-school showmanship.
306
00:11:09,488 --> 00:11:11,280
So you admit it's good.
307
00:11:11,329 --> 00:11:13,439
No, I do not!
308
00:11:13,565 --> 00:11:14,740
And let the record show
309
00:11:14,803 --> 00:11:15,923
that I have not agreed with
310
00:11:15,972 --> 00:11:17,280
anything Ms. James has said
311
00:11:17,329 --> 00:11:18,736
this entire day!
312
00:11:20,202 --> 00:11:21,488
This is getting us nowhere.
313
00:11:22,663 --> 00:11:24,617
You think bald is sexy?
314
00:11:24,665 --> 00:11:27,126
Dude, you look like a Vienna sausage!
315
00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:30,308
As you're smiling, I can see
316
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,139
- the cocaine in your gums from here.
- Gold Glove?
317
00:11:32,381 --> 00:11:34,133
Try old glove.
318
00:11:36,009 --> 00:11:37,421
I didn't think George Brett
319
00:11:37,469 --> 00:11:38,964
could shit himself twice in his life...
320
00:11:39,012 --> 00:11:40,732
Everybody knows you got drunk
and made out with...
321
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,140
- But I was wrong.
- The Phillie Phanatic.
322
00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:45,226
I'm too busy hitting home runs, sister.
323
00:11:45,275 --> 00:11:47,319
- Pay attention to the stats.
- Oh, please.
324
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,113
God, it's like one step
forward, one step back.
325
00:11:56,436 --> 00:11:58,112
I think I'm starting to reach Benny,
326
00:11:58,161 --> 00:11:59,698
but then Finnegan pulls some stunt.
327
00:11:59,747 --> 00:12:01,540
Can I help you, Jules?
328
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:03,975
I've seen your dick before.
329
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,080
Great, well...
330
00:12:05,164 --> 00:12:06,790
by all means, then,
make yourself at home.
331
00:12:06,865 --> 00:12:07,985
You're holding something back.
332
00:12:08,042 --> 00:12:09,258
I can feel it.
333
00:12:09,345 --> 00:12:11,393
Jules, no firearms, okay?
334
00:12:11,488 --> 00:12:13,833
I just... I've witnessed their
terrible purpose up close,
335
00:12:13,881 --> 00:12:15,368
and I realize I'm in the minority,
336
00:12:15,447 --> 00:12:17,674
as America has more guns
than trees now.
337
00:12:17,723 --> 00:12:19,386
You want me to give up Polly Pop-Its?
338
00:12:19,603 --> 00:12:21,143
- Jesus.
- This bad bitch
339
00:12:21,192 --> 00:12:23,049
got me through the
Pennsylvania Water Riots.
340
00:12:23,134 --> 00:12:24,408
I know I don't really want the answer
341
00:12:24,457 --> 00:12:25,997
to this question, but...
342
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,558
Did you kill anyone during
those water riots, Jules?
343
00:12:28,607 --> 00:12:30,048
I think a better question is,
344
00:12:30,096 --> 00:12:31,146
do I look thirsty to you?
345
00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:32,489
Good God.
346
00:12:37,647 --> 00:12:39,607
I might be willing
to concede on the guns,
347
00:12:39,656 --> 00:12:41,360
if I can keep my Arkansas toothpick.
348
00:12:41,647 --> 00:12:44,621
Now, when did you become Ted Nugent?
349
00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:47,408
When we started living
in Ted-Nugent times.
350
00:12:47,456 --> 00:12:48,784
Well, touché.
351
00:12:48,854 --> 00:12:51,001
Truth is, I don't really mind knives.
352
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,383
In my experience, getting
stabbed is just a part of life.
353
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,178
We're in the ballpark.
354
00:12:56,298 --> 00:12:58,169
We actually are, God help us.
355
00:12:58,352 --> 00:13:00,604
Hmm.
356
00:13:02,855 --> 00:13:05,142
Jim, there's someone
to see you at reception.
357
00:13:05,191 --> 00:13:07,072
Wh... now? Jesus.
358
00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:09,561
- I... can it wait?
- No, Jim, it can't.
359
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,343
Go. I gotta get back in there, anyway.
360
00:13:11,447 --> 00:13:13,866
It's dawn.
361
00:13:21,155 --> 00:13:22,651
- Mr. Brockmire.
- Yeah.
362
00:13:22,699 --> 00:13:24,028
Dr. Barret.
363
00:13:24,165 --> 00:13:26,447
I'm here to give you your results.
364
00:13:26,589 --> 00:13:28,167
At the ass-crack of dawn?
365
00:13:28,328 --> 00:13:31,128
Limon can be... persuasive.
366
00:13:32,871 --> 00:13:35,121
So the blood test for Parkinson's
367
00:13:35,170 --> 00:13:37,122
is pretty definitive these days.
368
00:13:37,171 --> 00:13:39,666
Your tremor is a result of the disease.
369
00:13:39,715 --> 00:13:41,040
I'm sorry.
370
00:13:41,802 --> 00:13:42,928
Fuck.
371
00:13:43,011 --> 00:13:44,558
Parkinson's, huh?
372
00:13:44,648 --> 00:13:46,310
Boy...
373
00:13:46,678 --> 00:13:48,193
Looks like God's sniper rifle
374
00:13:48,242 --> 00:13:49,678
finally has me in its sights.
375
00:13:49,726 --> 00:13:51,228
Okay.
376
00:13:51,568 --> 00:13:53,344
It's true there's no cure,
377
00:13:53,393 --> 00:13:54,532
but we're catching it early,
378
00:13:54,581 --> 00:13:56,768
and the medications have improved.
379
00:13:57,025 --> 00:13:58,813
That's it? No hug?
380
00:13:58,861 --> 00:14:01,558
Just a drive-by diagnosis?
381
00:14:01,749 --> 00:14:03,257
Coming out before office hours
382
00:14:03,306 --> 00:14:04,403
earned me so many credits,
383
00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:06,537
I don't need the extra emotion points.
384
00:14:22,659 --> 00:14:24,196
It's official.
385
00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,228
We're deadlocked.
386
00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:31,487
I think they'll strike today.
387
00:14:36,398 --> 00:14:38,375
But you and me,
388
00:14:38,479 --> 00:14:40,247
we're almost at the finish line.
389
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,900
- Jules, um...
- To recap.
390
00:14:42,034 --> 00:14:44,697
Drinking goes down
to five nights a week,
391
00:14:44,865 --> 00:14:46,610
Cocaine Wednesdays,
392
00:14:46,658 --> 00:14:48,410
booze in the she-shed,
393
00:14:48,727 --> 00:14:50,635
I get, uh, an entry-level
394
00:14:50,684 --> 00:14:52,185
membership to the orgy club,
395
00:14:52,234 --> 00:14:55,368
and we spend one week at that awful,
396
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:56,621
awful Ojai house
397
00:14:56,670 --> 00:14:57,866
before we burn it to the ground
398
00:14:57,915 --> 00:14:59,731
- for the insurance money.
- Mm.
399
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:01,675
What do you say?
400
00:15:01,829 --> 00:15:03,790
Can't do it, Jules.
401
00:15:04,578 --> 00:15:05,758
Huh.
402
00:15:06,547 --> 00:15:07,798
Hardball, huh?
403
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,184
This just says "white wine."
404
00:15:20,046 --> 00:15:21,895
I'm willing to give up hard alcohol
405
00:15:21,944 --> 00:15:23,839
and only drink white wine.
406
00:15:25,261 --> 00:15:28,861
Original Recipe Jules
is such a good deal.
407
00:15:28,909 --> 00:15:30,112
She's fun, she's light,
408
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,614
less likely to get
in a fight with a cop,
409
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:32,788
plus...
410
00:15:34,373 --> 00:15:36,875
She's the woman you fell in love with.
411
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:39,259
No, that's a great deal, you're right,
412
00:15:39,308 --> 00:15:40,394
but, uh...
413
00:15:40,754 --> 00:15:42,839
I can't take it.
414
00:15:44,299 --> 00:15:45,676
Why not?
415
00:15:46,505 --> 00:15:48,047
Because I just popped down to the lobby
416
00:15:48,095 --> 00:15:50,305
to find out that I have Parkinson's.
417
00:15:52,127 --> 00:15:54,977
Little jim-jam here really does it all.
418
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:02,173
So?
419
00:16:04,152 --> 00:16:05,945
What does that change?
420
00:16:06,238 --> 00:16:07,650
It changes everything, Jules.
421
00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:09,644
I mean, uh, our future perfect world
422
00:16:09,693 --> 00:16:11,220
was based on the false premise
423
00:16:11,269 --> 00:16:13,296
that I would be around to enjoy it.
424
00:16:13,996 --> 00:16:16,325
Look, I don't want you to ever
have to take care of me again,
425
00:16:16,374 --> 00:16:17,905
and... but no, by the end
of this thing,
426
00:16:17,954 --> 00:16:20,162
taking care of me is gonna
be a full-time job, darling,
427
00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:21,605
so...
428
00:16:22,545 --> 00:16:24,256
Uh...
429
00:16:24,339 --> 00:16:26,106
Okay, I suck at negotiating,
430
00:16:26,155 --> 00:16:27,876
but I'm gonna go in there
and take a shot at Finnegan,
431
00:16:27,925 --> 00:16:29,086
see if I can't solve this thing,
432
00:16:29,134 --> 00:16:30,422
'cause there's no way
433
00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:33,223
I'm letting baseball die before I do.
434
00:16:33,913 --> 00:16:35,392
Um...
435
00:16:35,641 --> 00:16:36,886
I love you.
436
00:16:36,935 --> 00:16:38,520
I really do.
437
00:16:38,746 --> 00:16:41,183
We just always have
such shitty timing, don't we?
438
00:16:41,231 --> 00:16:42,476
Just...
439
00:16:42,811 --> 00:16:44,147
Always.
440
00:16:54,084 --> 00:16:56,799
And so two scallywag bullfrogs
441
00:16:56,848 --> 00:17:00,590
found themselves on opposite
ends of a see-saw.
442
00:17:00,681 --> 00:17:01,801
That's when you hit the lights.
443
00:17:01,849 --> 00:17:04,231
Then Dave comes in from
stage left in a rocking chair.
444
00:17:04,363 --> 00:17:06,273
Uh, for the record, I love me a one-man
445
00:17:06,322 --> 00:17:07,279
Mark Twain show.
446
00:17:07,328 --> 00:17:09,581
I followed Hal Holbrook around on tour
447
00:17:09,630 --> 00:17:10,756
in the summer of '94.
448
00:17:10,805 --> 00:17:12,635
Still have a few bootlegs
from that thing.
449
00:17:12,684 --> 00:17:15,029
How dare you sneak this peek
behind the curtain.
450
00:17:15,112 --> 00:17:16,527
As much as I'm just dying
451
00:17:16,576 --> 00:17:18,321
to see your take
on America's Shakespeare,
452
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:19,869
we are running out of time, sir.
453
00:17:19,918 --> 00:17:21,445
We have to end this thing.
454
00:17:21,494 --> 00:17:24,045
Simply remove those ridiculous changes,
455
00:17:24,094 --> 00:17:26,724
and we'll be happy to ratify
a new agreement.
456
00:17:27,327 --> 00:17:29,100
I'm sorry, but I can't do that,
457
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,217
because the truth is,
458
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,963
this game really needs to change,
459
00:17:32,012 --> 00:17:33,926
and instead of
discussing that like adults,
460
00:17:33,974 --> 00:17:35,510
you've been wasting all of our time
461
00:17:35,558 --> 00:17:38,144
with a bunch of delightful
but cheap theatrics.
462
00:17:38,918 --> 00:17:40,914
We have "shitty timing"?
463
00:17:41,549 --> 00:17:43,084
What is that supposed to mean?
464
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:44,503
Wh... what are you doing?
465
00:17:44,552 --> 00:17:47,174
We got to fall in love twice, asshole!
466
00:17:47,404 --> 00:17:49,566
We're the luckiest people on Earth,
467
00:17:49,614 --> 00:17:51,458
and you think you can push me away?
468
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,322
Well, you messed up,
469
00:17:53,371 --> 00:17:54,724
'cause now you challenged me,
470
00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,987
and I don't ever back down
from a challenge.
471
00:17:57,036 --> 00:17:59,241
I'm not sure what this
has to do with anything.
472
00:17:59,416 --> 00:18:01,812
It took me 50 years
to leave Morristown.
473
00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:03,775
You think I'm gonna
kick rocks just 'cause
474
00:18:03,824 --> 00:18:05,455
your hand shakes?
475
00:18:06,859 --> 00:18:08,277
I hope you do get sick,
476
00:18:08,425 --> 00:18:10,322
like, really sick,
477
00:18:10,371 --> 00:18:12,075
and when you do,
478
00:18:12,188 --> 00:18:13,787
I'm gonna be right there
479
00:18:13,836 --> 00:18:15,175
to look you in your eye,
480
00:18:15,223 --> 00:18:16,439
wipe your ass,
481
00:18:16,488 --> 00:18:18,224
and tell you how wrong you were
482
00:18:18,273 --> 00:18:19,747
to doubt my love.
483
00:18:20,885 --> 00:18:22,940
The second I saw you,
I knew you were broken,
484
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:24,192
and I'm broken, too,
485
00:18:24,241 --> 00:18:25,793
and we were able to just...
486
00:18:26,609 --> 00:18:29,432
jam our broken pieces together and...
487
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,633
God, we had some fun doing it.
488
00:18:33,193 --> 00:18:34,847
We love each other, but...
489
00:18:35,079 --> 00:18:36,617
We also get each other,
490
00:18:36,666 --> 00:18:38,292
and that's the real shit.
491
00:18:39,235 --> 00:18:40,897
You can build a house on that.
492
00:18:41,184 --> 00:18:42,733
Holy shit. This is the speech.
493
00:18:42,782 --> 00:18:44,653
I don't remember all of it,
494
00:18:44,702 --> 00:18:46,159
but yeah, this is the good part.
495
00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:48,805
Well, I don't have any time to waste.
496
00:18:48,854 --> 00:18:50,766
I say we just get married right now.
497
00:18:51,382 --> 00:18:53,091
Don't threaten me with a good time.
498
00:18:53,325 --> 00:18:56,599
All right. Anybody here ordained?
499
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,927
David, fetch my Unitarian bible.
500
00:19:02,999 --> 00:19:05,022
It's next to the merkins.
501
00:19:08,744 --> 00:19:10,284
- Dad.
- Oh, my God.
502
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:11,784
- You made it.
- Of course.
503
00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,447
Sorry I'm late,
I just had to stop by your house,
504
00:19:13,496 --> 00:19:14,900
- and get something.
- Oh, come on.
505
00:19:14,949 --> 00:19:16,277
That's so thoughtful.
506
00:19:16,326 --> 00:19:18,363
Look at you. Thank you.
507
00:19:18,656 --> 00:19:20,274
You're welcome, Dad.
508
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,957
Um, are you sure
you're okay with all this?
509
00:19:23,041 --> 00:19:24,666
Because it's very sudden
510
00:19:24,715 --> 00:19:27,051
- and kind of insane.
- Are you kidding?
511
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,380
Yeah, it's gonna get you
out of my hair.
512
00:19:28,429 --> 00:19:29,603
I'm very okay with it.
513
00:19:29,652 --> 00:19:31,647
Well, now, you don't
have to be that okay with it.
514
00:19:31,696 --> 00:19:33,070
I'm messing with you.
515
00:19:33,263 --> 00:19:34,633
You're both really good people.
516
00:19:34,886 --> 00:19:36,006
You deserve to be happy.
517
00:19:36,054 --> 00:19:37,382
Look, I should probably, uh...
518
00:19:37,430 --> 00:19:38,726
Probably tell you something and,
519
00:19:38,775 --> 00:19:40,545
I don't want
to bring everything down here...
520
00:19:40,594 --> 00:19:41,756
Then don't, dad.
521
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,926
Whatever it is, it can wait, right?
522
00:19:44,104 --> 00:19:45,682
Let's just enjoy today.
523
00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:47,210
- Okay. All right.
- You're getting married!
524
00:19:48,512 --> 00:19:49,750
Spontaneous formal events
525
00:19:49,799 --> 00:19:51,711
are the dream of every dapper man.
526
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:53,881
Even so, I'm only allowing this wedding
527
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:56,593
because we're in the sanctioned
break period,
528
00:19:56,642 --> 00:19:57,951
so no strike talk.
529
00:20:09,658 --> 00:20:12,285
This better not be some
gimcrack gambit you're pulling,
530
00:20:12,334 --> 00:20:13,520
'cause that's my thing.
531
00:20:13,569 --> 00:20:14,824
No gimcrackery here.
532
00:20:14,873 --> 00:20:16,050
Really. Scout's honor.
533
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:20,237
Oh, rings.
534
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:21,781
Oh, I got some from the players.
535
00:20:22,552 --> 00:20:23,778
Amazing.
536
00:20:24,273 --> 00:20:25,524
I love weddings.
537
00:20:26,215 --> 00:20:27,295
That's why I've had four of them.
538
00:20:27,344 --> 00:20:29,327
I get the World Series.
You get the NLCS.
539
00:20:29,465 --> 00:20:31,462
Well, boy, that sounds about right.
540
00:20:32,007 --> 00:20:34,348
We are gathered here
in the midst of this...
541
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,691
Tense collective bargaining agreement
542
00:20:36,739 --> 00:20:38,506
to bring together these two...
543
00:20:38,555 --> 00:20:40,278
Weirdos.
544
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:41,988
In the interest of time, I will forego
545
00:20:42,036 --> 00:20:43,423
my traditional recitation of
546
00:20:43,472 --> 00:20:45,276
"The Banks of Bonnie Doon"
547
00:20:45,457 --> 00:20:46,952
And proceed directly to the vows.
548
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,168
Ms. James?
549
00:20:48,251 --> 00:20:49,454
Thank you.
550
00:20:49,711 --> 00:20:51,790
We've always been
very different people,
551
00:20:51,838 --> 00:20:54,103
from very different worlds...
552
00:20:54,326 --> 00:20:55,613
With one thing in common.
553
00:20:55,662 --> 00:20:56,878
Baseball.
554
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,971
It has bound us together,
555
00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:02,622
from the beginning of our journey,
556
00:21:02,836 --> 00:21:04,741
but in the end, it wasn't enough.
557
00:21:05,286 --> 00:21:07,615
We had to continue
to find common ground.
558
00:21:07,664 --> 00:21:10,045
Veering into forbidden territory.
559
00:21:11,245 --> 00:21:13,890
We both need to change,
560
00:21:14,249 --> 00:21:15,410
in the same direction,
561
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,123
and I promise,
562
00:21:17,317 --> 00:21:19,862
to continue changing along with you.
563
00:21:20,058 --> 00:21:21,977
And if you don't like our deal,
564
00:21:22,026 --> 00:21:23,244
we can always renegotiate
565
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:24,485
in three to five years,
at which point, there'll be
566
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:25,853
a clearer understanding of the market.
567
00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:26,880
God damn it, you're done.
568
00:21:26,929 --> 00:21:29,119
- Brockmire, go.
- I just can't believe we're here.
569
00:21:29,167 --> 00:21:31,428
After all the acrimony,
570
00:21:31,531 --> 00:21:32,894
together we've found a harmony
571
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:34,800
that we have never known before.
572
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:37,218
Twice, I walked away from you.
573
00:21:37,361 --> 00:21:40,181
I just locked you
right out of my heart,
574
00:21:40,364 --> 00:21:42,423
and you had every right to strike...
575
00:21:42,579 --> 00:21:44,491
Strike right out on your own...
576
00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:45,737
Shut up.
577
00:21:45,786 --> 00:21:47,075
Give each other the rings,
578
00:21:47,124 --> 00:21:48,452
say "I do," I'll pronounce you,
579
00:21:48,501 --> 00:21:50,012
and then we can get back to work.
580
00:21:50,127 --> 00:21:52,873
How about all revenue
on bodycam livestreaming,
581
00:21:52,922 --> 00:21:54,025
and 50 on all merch?
582
00:21:54,108 --> 00:21:56,057
Benny, you're my Maid of Honor!
583
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,369
Benny.
584
00:21:59,948 --> 00:22:02,534
I love love. Yes, let's do it.
585
00:22:03,178 --> 00:22:04,382
- I do.
- I do.
586
00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:07,219
All right, uh, you're pronounced.
587
00:22:07,290 --> 00:22:08,547
Kiss.
588
00:22:14,866 --> 00:22:16,161
All right, anybody got some music?
589
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,856
Because my body,
it just... it has to talk.
590
00:22:18,905 --> 00:22:20,534
Did somebody say "music"?
591
00:22:47,548 --> 00:22:51,548
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com
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