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1
00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:10,310
sir, could you step out
of the stall, please?
2
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,780
Sir, can I see some
identification, please?
3
00:01:15,790 --> 00:01:17,470
It's a courthouse. Denny crane.
4
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,080
I don't need to identify
myself in a courthouse.
5
00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:21,540
Please place your hands
behind your back, sir.
6
00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:22,190
Why?
7
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,180
Sir, you are under
arrest for solicitation.
8
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:24,720
What?
9
00:01:24,730 --> 00:01:26,440
- You have the right to
remain silent. - Solicit--
10
00:01:26,450 --> 00:01:29,200
- anything you say can and will be used agast you...In a court of law.
- who the hell did I solicit?
11
00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:30,800
You have the right to an attorney.
12
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:33,040
Sir, please put your
hands behind your back now.
13
00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:34,180
- Alan.
- All right.That's it.
14
00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:36,330
- Get him down on the
floor. - Hey, w--ow!
15
00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:39,020
Alan!
16
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,320
Alan! Pick up, will you?
17
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:43,630
Alan! Pick up.
18
00:01:44,610 --> 00:01:47,160
Alan! Alan!
19
00:01:47,170 --> 00:01:55,300
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents
20
00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:03,880
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:������
21
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:13,370
Boston
Legal Season04 Episode08
22
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,740
He did all the known
signals for solicitation.
23
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,590
In fact, he was quite
methodical about it.
24
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:25,960
- He's full of crap.
- Denny.
25
00:02:25,970 --> 00:02:27,790
Well, so was I, but I was constipated.
26
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,910
What known signals?
27
00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:32,150
Well, first he came in,
looked under the stall doors.
28
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,880
Then he entered a stall
next to an occupied one.
29
00:02:34,890 --> 00:02:36,550
He slid his briefcase to the front,
30
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:39,000
making his feet visible
to the adjacent occupant.
31
00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:40,070
Oh,
please.I--
32
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,850
he then moved his foot over.
33
00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:43,840
Then he began to hum quietly.
34
00:02:43,850 --> 00:02:46,700
Then he tapped his foot
four times, up and dowN.
35
00:02:46,710 --> 00:02:48,740
- Look, now
first, we- - denny.
36
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,310
Sir, look, there's really
no point denying this.
37
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,350
Unless you consider innocence a point.
38
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:55,660
Would that be a point worth considering?
39
00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:58,530
These are well-known
solicitation signals.
40
00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,640
you didn't even go to the
bathroom, by the way, did you?
41
00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:02,380
Because I was constipated.
42
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:03,570
Did we not go over this?
43
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:06,830
My suggestion is that u
make this go away quietly.
44
00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,170
Bribe. I knew it.
45
00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:10,840
I'm not suggesting a bribe.
46
00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:13,680
My recommendation's that you
plead guilty to disorderly conduct.
47
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:16,200
he's not gonna plead guilty to anything.
48
00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:18,410
You really want these
charges to be made public?
49
00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:21,220
This sounds an awful lot like
extortion, officer whistler.
50
00:03:21,230 --> 00:03:22,140
It's not extortion.
51
00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:23,830
I'm just saying,
your choice--
52
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:29,230
disorderly conduct and a small fine or
public trial for solicitation to have gay sex.
53
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:30,750
Trial.
54
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,160
- Wait.Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- DennY.Trial.
55
00:03:41,420 --> 00:03:42,940
why are you angry at me?
56
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:44,960
Because I could've made
this thing go away quietly.
57
00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:46,420
You're making it into a cause.
58
00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:47,360
I am not, denny.
59
00:03:47,370 --> 00:03:49,930
You're being larry craiged
here, and it isn't fair.
60
00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:51,490
But with a public trial?
61
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:55,330
It's one thing for people to think I've
got, uh, alzheimer's or I've lost my mind.
62
00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:57,120
But for them to think I'm gay?
63
00:03:57,130 --> 00:03:59,950
Denny, for god sake,
you cannot plead guilty.
64
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,390
It's a ridiculous charge.
65
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:03,000
The police
had no bus--
66
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:06,230
what's going on?
67
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:08,830
Denny had a little
misunderstanding this morning.
68
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:14,920
In an effort to relieve
some mild...constipation,
69
00:04:14,930 --> 00:04:18,890
he unwittingly offered to be a whistle-blower
for an undercover police officer.
70
00:04:20,690 --> 00:04:22,050
It happens.
71
00:04:22,060 --> 00:04:23,090
He's being arraigned this afternoon.
72
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,440
I'm moving for an immediate dismissal.
73
00:04:34,810 --> 00:04:37,830
The battleship-- as
I live and breathe.
74
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,170
you get more and more beautiful.
75
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:44,240
Who's suing you now?
76
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,940
I take it you haven't heard.
77
00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:50,440
I got fired, shirl.
78
00:04:50,810 --> 00:04:51,390
What?
79
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,850
As of now, you're looking
at an unemployed shock jock.
80
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,290
What did you say?
81
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:59,270
Oh, nothing too bad, but as
far as the station's concerned--
82
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,160
what did you say?
83
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:03,810
Well, something like
old people should die.
84
00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:05,250
You said that on the air?
85
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:07,140
Oh, come on. It's the
radio, for god sakes.
86
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:10,840
If you can't be vulgar
there. free speech.
87
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:18,140
Look, seriously, shirley,
I'm--I'm not a young man.
88
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:22,000
If I lose this gig, I
may not get another one.
89
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,670
I need to fight this.
90
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:27,510
old people should die.
91
00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:30,440
Free speech. Rah.
92
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:32,660
rah.
93
00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,030
Why would paul want to see us?
94
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,400
Obviously sack told him.
95
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:37,580
Maybe paul's gay.
96
00:05:37,590 --> 00:05:39,720
God, why can't I have that?
97
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,540
Well, I see somebody has run
to the principal's office.
98
00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:48,800
Hello, alan.
99
00:05:48,810 --> 00:05:50,710
Denny, how are you?
100
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:51,980
Not gay.
101
00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:53,070
Yes.
102
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,540
Carl has shared with me the latest.
103
00:05:56,550 --> 00:06:01,010
I'm told there's a chance of making this
go away with a disorderly conduct plea.
104
00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,710
That was rejected.
105
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,460
May I ask why?
106
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,100
He's innocent, paul.
107
00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:10,890
Alan, you know and I know
that the charges alone--
108
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,940
denny's been charged with crimes before.
109
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:15,890
This one leaves its own special tarnish.
110
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:18,670
Even an outright acquittal
won't amount to exoneration.
111
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:21,360
We need to dispose of this
as quietly as possible.
112
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,640
this is ridiculous.
113
00:06:22,650 --> 00:06:27,160
He's being railroaded by some overzealous
cop who's staking out a bathom.
114
00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:30,170
I don't know if it's
more offensive or silly.
115
00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,970
Denny, may I speak with you in private?
116
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:36,370
Let's go, al. Let's give
'em some special time.
117
00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:38,590
If you care to leave,
carl, please do so.
118
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,910
But, paul, anything you have
to say to denny, you can say--
119
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:46,240
with all due respect to your friend'ip,
denny and i go bk almost 40 years.
120
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:49,560
You really are old, paul.
121
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,300
Go ahead, alan.
122
00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,020
Bond with carl for a second.
123
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,760
No sleepovers.
124
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,930
carl sack has the job of
worrying about the firm.
125
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:10,110
I was happy to pass that baton.
126
00:07:11,970 --> 00:07:14,940
I'm concerned about you.
127
00:07:15,270 --> 00:07:19,710
Look, I see alan all poised
here to climb on his soap box.
128
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,070
But at whose expense?
129
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,830
If I plead to disorderly, the papers
will make straw out of that as well.
130
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:31,120
Denny, your grip on your
position here as senior partner--
131
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:34,130
I know you know--
is a little tenuous.
132
00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:39,190
This may be all the managing partners need
to finally take your name off the door.
133
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,630
Which is why I need to be vindicated.
134
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,870
And should you lose?
135
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,290
Paul...
136
00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:50,260
right or wrong, I-I
need to go out as...
137
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:52,790
denny crane.
138
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:56,050
I don't want my legacy to...
139
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,840
it's worth risking my job...
140
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,540
to save my reputation.
141
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:11,580
I'm afraid you may lose both.
142
00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,210
Not if we win.
143
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,100
All or nothing...
144
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,320
you and I used to say that all the time.
145
00:08:22,880 --> 00:08:24,450
Remember?
146
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:33,650
Uh, why a judge and not a jury?
147
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:35,900
Juries can't give
equitable relief, plus,
148
00:08:35,910 --> 00:08:40,030
they don't especially enjoy being summoned
for something trivial like first amendment.
149
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,310
Well, well, well.
150
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,820
- Bethany.
- Shirley.
151
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,120
You've let yourself go.
152
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,860
I find that refreshing.
153
00:08:51,870 --> 00:08:55,750
It's so nice to see an elderly person
who's not afraid to look her age.
154
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:59,110
Yes, well, vanity can be
quite the beast, I suppose.
155
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,710
I see you're wearing heels.
156
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,860
Dwarf jokes. Classy.
157
00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:04,170
all rise.
158
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:11,570
in re: Binder vs.W.W.E.N. Boston,
judge victoria thomson presiding.
159
00:09:11,580 --> 00:09:13,240
This court is in session.
160
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:14,130
Good morning, your honor.
161
00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:15,670
Shirley schmidt for the plaintiff.
162
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:16,510
I'm not interested.
163
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,110
Who's the station manager?
164
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:19,390
Uh, I am, your honor.
165
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,590
And my name is bethany horowitz.
166
00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:26,510
I represent W.W.E.N.And
why are you staring?
167
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,170
'Cause I almost bought that same outfit.
168
00:09:29,180 --> 00:09:31,060
Sit your itty-bitty self down.
169
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,610
Mr. Flanders, in the witness chair, now.
170
00:09:33,620 --> 00:09:34,960
- Move it.
- Wait a second.
171
00:09:34,970 --> 00:09:36,270
They're the ones suing.
172
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,540
I know that.
173
00:09:37,550 --> 00:09:40,630
I want to hear from him. Now.
174
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:49,030
Denny crane in a men's room.
175
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,680
Don't you just love that?
176
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:54,080
Another "family values"
advocate looking to use
177
00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:58,170
another man's private
part as a sippy cup.
178
00:09:58,350 --> 00:10:01,370
Time to go to church now, denny,
time to get in touch with god.
179
00:10:01,380 --> 00:10:02,740
Off to rehab we go.
180
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:06,230
Doesn't it just make you want to
snorkel in your mother's vomit?
181
00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:09,030
I can't take it.
182
00:10:09,310 --> 00:10:10,370
The press is into it.
183
00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:11,210
I'm gay fodder.
184
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:12,330
I can't take it.
185
00:10:12,340 --> 00:10:13,830
Come on, denny. Let's just get to court.
186
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,610
That woman of all people
knows I am straight.
187
00:10:16,620 --> 00:10:19,920
She told me it was the best sex she ever
had since her brother in ninth grade.
188
00:10:19,930 --> 00:10:21,210
She told me.
189
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,050
you go for immediate dismissal.
190
00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:24,800
None of this continuance crap.
191
00:10:24,810 --> 00:10:26,140
immediate.
192
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:29,110
Lorraine.
193
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,930
Alan. Denny.
194
00:10:31,470 --> 00:10:34,170
Would you be riding on
the elevator with us?
195
00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:35,760
Think you can handle it, denny?
196
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:38,550
well, maybe not.
197
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:42,540
I-I don't know whether you've
heard about my, um, predicament.
198
00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:45,010
I heard that you were
humming in the men's room.
199
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:45,820
That predicament?
200
00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:46,980
Yeah, yeah.
201
00:10:46,990 --> 00:10:49,630
Rumors are ugly things, lorraine.
202
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:52,100
I'll bet there's some about you.
203
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,020
I wouldn't know.
204
00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:54,390
Neither would I.
205
00:10:55,490 --> 00:10:59,930
there are security
cameras on these elevators.
206
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:04,110
If I were to havsex
on one with a-a woman,
207
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:09,590
that would dispel the horrible
rumor that I, um, uh, you know, uh--
208
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,600
like to hum in men's rooms?
209
00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:12,500
Would you mind?
210
00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:13,670
Not at all, denny.
211
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:15,850
But I am involved, so I can'T.
212
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,340
Please. It's an emergency.
213
00:11:17,350 --> 00:11:19,860
Then perhaps you
should call 9-9-9.
214
00:11:23,230 --> 00:11:24,240
what's his name?
215
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,140
I'm sorry?
216
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:26,950
Uh, the boyfriend--
what's his name?
217
00:11:30,750 --> 00:11:32,290
Were we meant to get on that?
218
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:42,540
hey, lorraine.
219
00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:43,560
Katie.
220
00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:49,490
How are you liking working here so far,
aside from the misogynistic bits and pieces?
221
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:50,960
Oh, it's fine.
222
00:11:50,970 --> 00:11:52,930
Personally, I enjoy being objectified.
223
00:11:52,940 --> 00:11:56,340
It's a wonderful prophylactic if
one doesn't care to be really known.
224
00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:57,870
I suppose.
225
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,530
Um, somehow I feel I know you.
226
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:03,190
Have we met before
crane, poole & schmidt?
227
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,860
I don't believe we have.
228
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:06,010
Odd.
229
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:07,590
Have you ever spent time in gland?
230
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,390
I haven't actually, though
I've always wanted to go.
231
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,080
I just thought perhaps...
232
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,090
when denny said earlier he had an
emergency, you said "call 9-9-9"?
233
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,970
It's 9-1-1,
actually.
234
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:20,050
Of course it is.
235
00:12:20,060 --> 00:12:21,130
I said
"9-9-9"?
236
00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:25,630
Yes, which, coincidentally is the number
one calls for an emergency in england.
237
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,660
- I guess that is a coincidence.
- Yes.
238
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,470
Bye, katie.
239
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,210
Hope the rest of your day goes well.
240
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:38,100
You, too.
241
00:12:47,420 --> 00:12:49,380
Look, it's all about sales.
242
00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:52,910
Here we're faced with advertiser
pullout, a boycott by listeners.
243
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,570
But he's a shock jock.
This is what he does.
244
00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:57,350
Yes, and if he makes money for us, fine.
245
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,340
If he doesn'T... he goes.
246
00:12:59,690 --> 00:13:01,250
It's nothing personal here.
247
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:04,010
He's been saying outrageous
things for 25 years.
248
00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:07,110
Yes, and a lot of people have
been listening to him for 25 years.
249
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,450
So what's changed?
250
00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:10,360
Those listeners are old now.
251
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:15,170
I-if he wants to put down blacks
or--or jews or episcopalians, fine.
252
00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:17,500
But our demographic is baby boomers.
253
00:13:17,510 --> 00:13:20,300
Insulting old people-- it
affects our bottom line.
254
00:13:20,310 --> 00:13:22,220
It's a
no-can-do.
255
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:27,300
So you admit that what he said was
in the context of social commentary.
256
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,550
So what?
257
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:29,230
So what?
258
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,900
You're primarily a news station.
259
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:35,150
No, 're primarily a profit center,
like every other news station.
260
00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:39,150
You had ann coulter on the
show last week as a guest.
261
00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:43,980
This is a woman who referred to john
edwards using the homosexual "f" word.
262
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,870
no one takes ann coulter seriously.
263
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,020
I mean, she's a joke.
264
00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:51,710
Since bob is actually respected
for his political commentary,
265
00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:54,770
his remarks are more dangerous.
266
00:13:54,780 --> 00:14:00,150
You don't see a problem firing a political
commentator for making a political comment?
267
00:14:00,350 --> 00:14:02,060
Not really.
268
00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:09,810
"Case number 6-6-2-6-6.The
commonwealth vs. Denny crane."
269
00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,170
Alan shore appearing for mr. Crane.
270
00:14:12,180 --> 00:14:14,860
I would ask that this arraignment
be quashed immediately.
271
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,780
You cannot quash an arraignment.
272
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,670
But you can, your honor,
and you should here.
273
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:21,660
Because if you look at the facts,
you'll see that even as alleged,
274
00:14:21,670 --> 00:14:23,390
they don't support the
charges being filed.
275
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,660
No money ever
changed hands--
276
00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:26,960
you don't have to go that
far. It's an choate crime.He--
277
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:29,800
suppose he just hit on another
man he found attractive?
278
00:14:29,810 --> 00:14:33,300
- Oh, my god.
- Are you saying it's a crime for one man to propose sex to another?
279
00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:34,950
In some states, it probably is.
280
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:40,260
But this is massachusetts, the home of mitt
romney, a man who was once okay with gay unions.
281
00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:43,100
Though he's not okay with them now.
282
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:45,020
Let's all be clear on that.
283
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,240
I'll not have you attacking my governor.
284
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:49,980
Judge, you shouldn't
even be on this case.
285
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:54,710
If you'll remember, I once defended you on
a subject very near and dear to this one.
286
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,260
I can be impartial.
287
00:14:56,270 --> 00:14:57,450
And I shall be.
288
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,790
And you cannot quash an arraignment.
289
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,890
If you want to try to kick
it after charges are filed--
290
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,760
a-and that's mr. Crane's choice?
291
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:05,560
To plead out or face public ridicule?
292
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:07,660
Have you noticed all
e cameras, by the way?
293
00:15:07,670 --> 00:15:09,340
It's extortion. This is a witch hunt.
294
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,160
The D.A.'S office
probably targeted mr. Crane
295
00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:12,580
because of all the
bad blood between our--
296
00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:14,970
this is the united states of america.
297
00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:18,280
Our system of justice does not
dictate to district attorneys
298
00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:21,530
who should or should not be prosecuted.
299
00:15:23,450 --> 00:15:26,340
Your points may be good ones, but...
300
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:31,440
they are to be decided by the trier of
fact, which in this case is the jury.
301
00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:34,570
This case shall go to trial.
302
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:36,020
Adjourned.
303
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,910
Disorderly is still on the table.
304
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:46,390
denny, maybe you should
consider making a deal here.
305
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,860
If you get
convicted--
306
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:49,550
No.
307
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,050
We go to trial.
308
00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,660
Are you sure? Don't
do this because of me.
309
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:54,730
I'm doing it because of me.
310
00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:56,560
We go to trial.
311
00:15:57,450 --> 00:16:00,040
But... you have to win it.
312
00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:17,960
******
313
00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:21,360
I just feel I've seen her before
or-- don't you think it's odd--
314
00:16:21,370 --> 00:16:24,300
she says she's never been to
england, and she said "call 9-9-9"?
315
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:25,480
Could be a coincidence.
316
00:16:25,490 --> 00:16:26,940
I also detect an english accent.
317
00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:28,090
You do? Really?
318
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,350
Well, sometimes. Barely noticeable.
319
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:31,990
Why don't we just google her?
320
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,240
I did.
321
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:34,770
I didn't find anything.
322
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,890
I know this is horrible of me to say,
323
00:16:37,190 --> 00:16:39,620
but for some reason, I
just have this feeling...
324
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:42,330
she's a criminal.
325
00:16:42,820 --> 00:16:44,070
I thought you liked everybody?
326
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:46,220
Oh, I do, and I like her, I just...
327
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,130
think she's a criminal.
328
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,820
A lot of people were hugely
offended by what you said.
329
00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:54,610
But what I said was
political commentary.
330
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,120
Moreover, it was important.
331
00:16:56,130 --> 00:16:57,140
Important?
332
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,780
Oh, this I gotta hear.
333
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:01,380
You sit your itty-bitty,
little self down.
334
00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:03,370
I want that on the record.
335
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:05,700
How was the content important, bob?
336
00:17:05,710 --> 00:17:08,310
Our government, at least
on a national level,
337
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,460
is becoming little more than
an income transfer mechanism
338
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:14,260
from younger workers
to the old retirees.
339
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:19,870
Social security, medicare and medicaid
already take up over 40% of the federal budget.
340
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,160
And in the next 25 years,
341
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:26,350
the number of people over
65 is expected to double.
342
00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,830
Now does anybody get what that means?
343
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,890
We could be heading for a day
344
00:17:30,900 --> 00:17:35,640
when the bulk of our federal
budget goes to subsidizing retirees.
345
00:17:35,650 --> 00:17:39,650
None of the politicians
will even talk about iT. Why?
346
00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:42,560
Because who's primarily
funding this next election?
347
00:17:42,570 --> 00:17:44,200
Baby boomers.
348
00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:47,030
So your solution is
for old people to die.
349
00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,540
I was making a point
in a provocative way.
350
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:52,690
An offensive, indecent, disgusting way.
351
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,220
I'm going to just wing
it and say argumentative.
352
00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:57,120
I didn't interrupt your questions.
353
00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:57,860
What is this?
354
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,520
They're called objections, bethany.
355
00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:00,640
They're allowed now.
356
00:18:00,650 --> 00:18:03,880
I ask the court to sanction
this rude, bitchy-do person.
357
00:18:03,890 --> 00:18:07,780
Counsel, just ask your questions and
try not to give in to your good nature.
358
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:12,680
You are aware, sir, that baby boomers make
up a big part of your listening audience?
359
00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:13,670
I am.
360
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,640
The
irony is--
361
00:18:14,650 --> 00:18:16,390
I'm not interested in iron
362
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:21,450
I find nothing ironic about calling for
the genocide of an entire class of people.
363
00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:23,430
You sure like to come
on strong, don't you?
364
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,510
Better to be a cannon
then get shot out of one.
365
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:29,850
I saw that.
366
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,800
I want this entire
transcript expedited so that
367
00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:37,000
I can personally deliver it to the
anti-defamation league, which at this moment,
368
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:41,610
is probably listening to a recording
of this man's jihad against the elderly.
369
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,650
all right, I've heard
enough of your little self.
370
00:18:43,660 --> 00:18:48,720
How about you and I both refrain
from commenting on the other's size?
371
00:18:51,510 --> 00:18:53,650
Bring it on, judgie-do.
372
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:55,780
I'm not going anywhere.
373
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,840
What do you mean, there's
something up with her?
374
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:03,740
You don't think there's
anything suspicious about her?
375
00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:05,750
Because she
said "9-9-9"?
376
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:06,750
you're right.
377
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:07,650
hey, clarence.
378
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,320
I got a friend at the I.R.S.
379
00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:11,250
I had him do a little
search on her tax records--
380
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,610
dates back seven years and stops.
381
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,360
She never filed before that.
382
00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:16,900
- Maybe she didndn't work before then.
- Ever?
383
00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:18,600
and it gets better.
384
00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:20,170
You don't say hey back?
385
00:19:20,180 --> 00:19:24,690
She graduated law school from
the university of chicago in 1999.
386
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:28,010
In her resume, it says she
attended georgetown before that.
387
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,900
Georgetown has no record
of any lorraine weller.
388
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,110
I ran a social security record search.
389
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:36,750
No evidence of her prior to
attending the university of chicago.
390
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,360
I never trusted her.
391
00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:42,900
So then the question becomes,
if she's not lorraine weller...
392
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:44,250
who is she?
393
00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:53,390
Look, these are the signals.
394
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,650
I didn't make 'em up.
395
00:19:54,660 --> 00:19:57,280
He looked under the stall,
moved his foot to the side,
396
00:19:57,290 --> 00:20:00,070
then his bag, tapped
his foot and hummed.
397
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:00,770
Come on.
398
00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:02,690
At that point, you moved in.
399
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:05,720
We asked him to step out of the
stall, and then we arrested him.
400
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:09,120
Why didn't you wait for him to
do something more definitive?
401
00:20:09,130 --> 00:20:10,960
What he'd already done was definitive.
402
00:20:10,970 --> 00:20:15,680
Okay, suppose somebody was just out looking
for some action, not prostitution, but action.
403
00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:17,270
They hear that there might
be some in the bathroom and--
404
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,370
I mean, is that a crime
now, to hit on somebody?
405
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:21,680
These were known
signals for prostitution.
406
00:20:21,690 --> 00:20:23,450
But you didn't wait for
money to change hands.
407
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:24,660
We felt we had enough to go on.
408
00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:26,010
Oh, come on.
409
00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,780
So if someone has a bag in his hand,
410
00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:30,210
a tune in his head and needs
to poop, he better watch out.
411
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:32,940
Commit the wrong ambiguous gesture,
and he's looking at the slammer.
412
00:20:32,950 --> 00:20:34,440
I guess they play a
lot of footsie in there.
413
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:35,820
- Objection.
- Sustained.
414
00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:38,570
Your honor, at this time I move for
a directed finding of not guilty.
415
00:20:38,580 --> 00:20:41,860
- The prosecution has failed to
meet its burden of proof-- - denied.
416
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,810
Okay, I move to remove you on
the grounds of horrible judging.
417
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:47,210
Ere's a pattern of it, actually.
418
00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:48,100
Denied.
419
00:20:48,110 --> 00:20:50,290
Judge, I've seen you
go in that men's room.
420
00:20:54,370 --> 00:20:57,010
What do you mean, you might lose?
421
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:58,790
Well, I should win.
422
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,880
They've got no transaction, but...
423
00:21:00,890 --> 00:21:02,150
but what?
424
00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:08,670
I have to put denny on the stand.
425
00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:12,170
Is there any way around that?
426
00:21:12,180 --> 00:21:13,580
I don't think so.
427
00:21:13,590 --> 00:21:17,710
At this point, he's gotta tell his story,
and in doing so, he would then become...
428
00:21:19,650 --> 00:21:21,420
our defense.
429
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:23,280
Dear god.
430
00:21:33,730 --> 00:21:35,680
I had terrible, terrible gas.
431
00:21:35,690 --> 00:21:36,840
I have it a lot.
432
00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:38,140
so what did you do?
433
00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:42,860
Well, I went into the bathroom hoping to
relieve it with a, um, a bowel movement.
434
00:21:43,540 --> 00:21:46,160
- I have them a lot.
- Denny, please.
435
00:21:46,540 --> 00:21:50,160
Upon entering the men's
room, I, um, farted.
436
00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:52,030
- Uh, I do
that-- - denny.
437
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:57,560
So I entered, uh, a vacant stall
and I preeded to, uh, do my business.
438
00:21:57,570 --> 00:22:00,310
Only I-I was constipated,
so I had difficulty.
439
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:05,070
Did you engage in all these
signals they've been talking about?
440
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,800
Well, I-I-I slid my briefcase out of
the way and moved my foot to the side
441
00:22:09,810 --> 00:22:12,930
'cause I like to give myself
a wide berth when I'm impacted.
442
00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:18,170
And I, uh, began to hum uh, 'cause
it's a-- it's a relaxing technique.
443
00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:22,360
And I started tapping my
foot to give my hum a beat.
444
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,390
so you didn't go into the
bathroom looking for sex?
445
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,400
Oh, god, no.
446
00:22:31,410 --> 00:22:34,510
Oh, I've--I've had sex
in bathroom stalls before,
447
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,670
and sometimes for money, but
always, always with a woman.
448
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,370
I'm a heterosexual.
449
00:22:41,170 --> 00:22:43,330
And I think being gay is a sin.
450
00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:47,230
It's against god, it's against the
president and it's bad for the troops.
451
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,600
How could the police
officer have misinterpreted?
452
00:22:50,610 --> 00:22:51,970
'Cause he's an idiot.
453
00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:53,950
And by the way, I have gay friends.
454
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,660
And they like to look at the
merchandise just like anybody else.
455
00:22:56,670 --> 00:23:02,320
They're not gonna just have sex with
whoev in the next stall, sight unseen.
456
00:23:02,630 --> 00:23:05,300
They may be sick, but
they're not stupid.
457
00:23:06,820 --> 00:23:09,350
It's just a total coincidence that
458
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:12,450
you engaged in all these
known signals to have sex?
459
00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:13,850
Well, not known to me.
460
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:15,120
You say you know.
461
00:23:15,130 --> 00:23:16,330
you gay?
462
00:23:17,010 --> 00:23:19,620
I am, as a matter of fact.
463
00:23:20,030 --> 00:23:21,550
D-does that make a difference?
464
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:24,690
Well, a big one if I
were looking to get laid.
465
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,270
You would never sleep with a man?
466
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:26,880
Never.
467
00:23:26,890 --> 00:23:30,200
Never have a sleepover
with a male friend?
468
00:23:30,650 --> 00:23:31,500
Well, that's different.
469
00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:34,600
In fact, you've had sleepovers
with your lawyer--alan shore.
470
00:23:34,610 --> 00:23:35,620
- Isn't that right?
- Objection.
471
00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:36,670
We never had sex.
472
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,230
You sleep in the same bed as... buddies?
473
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:40,960
Yeah.
474
00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:45,850
And you two have special time every night
together on your balcony, is that right?
475
00:23:45,860 --> 00:23:46,970
So what's wrong with that?
476
00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:50,140
You refer to each other as...
477
00:23:50,150 --> 00:23:52,150
flamingos.
478
00:23:53,050 --> 00:23:54,450
- Did you tell him this?
- I didn'T.
479
00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,130
What's the point? This is irrelevant.
480
00:23:56,140 --> 00:23:57,750
It's called male bonding.
481
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,520
You never heard of that?
482
00:23:58,530 --> 00:24:01,000
Oh, I know all about male bonding.
483
00:24:01,010 --> 00:24:03,990
Now let me see if I get this.
484
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:07,010
You're a man who sleeps with other men.
485
00:24:07,020 --> 00:24:11,110
You just so happen to signal another
man to have sex with you in a bathroom,
486
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:12,800
but it's all just a big coincidence.
487
00:24:12,810 --> 00:24:16,210
You sometimes refer to
yourself as a flamiO.
488
00:24:16,630 --> 00:24:18,090
But you're not gay.
489
00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:20,230
You're damn right, I'm not.
490
00:24:21,810 --> 00:24:23,820
I think I get the picture.
491
00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:25,910
Nothing further.
492
00:24:43,710 --> 00:24:45,260
good heavens, you frightened me.
493
00:24:45,270 --> 00:24:48,320
Just now, or do I frighten
you in general, katie?
494
00:24:49,090 --> 00:24:51,040
You've been quite a curious girl.
495
00:24:52,410 --> 00:24:53,650
What's going on, katie?
496
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,170
What's going on is you're
not who you say you are.
497
00:24:56,180 --> 00:24:57,180
I know I've seen your face.
498
00:24:57,190 --> 00:24:58,310
I don't know your real identity.
499
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,970
But I know you've only been
lorraine weller since 1997,
500
00:25:00,980 --> 00:25:03,890
when you entered the university
of chicago law school.
501
00:25:06,550 --> 00:25:08,130
So you know my secret.
502
00:25:08,140 --> 00:25:09,960
No. I only know part of it.
503
00:25:09,970 --> 00:25:12,520
- I used to be somebody else.
- Who?
504
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,290
I'm not gonna tell you that.
505
00:25:14,300 --> 00:25:16,200
It could cost me my life.
506
00:25:19,490 --> 00:25:22,370
I married a man from
pakistan 12 years ago.
507
00:25:22,380 --> 00:25:24,880
I was unfaithful to
him, which he discovered.
508
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:28,480
There have been several honor killings
in muslim communities in london.
509
00:25:28,810 --> 00:25:30,350
I am from london.
510
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:33,570
My co-adulterer was killed
in an automobile accident.
511
00:25:33,580 --> 00:25:35,830
I believed the next accident
was going to happen to me,
512
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:39,600
so I fled london, changed my
name, began a new life here.
513
00:25:39,610 --> 00:25:42,580
I'm told by my friends my
husband's still looking for me.
514
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:44,450
Does alan shore know this?
515
00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:47,570
No, and I would beg you not to tell him.
516
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,060
It's a business, judge.
517
00:25:51,070 --> 00:25:52,710
Talk shows,
news shows--
518
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,570
they're all in it for
the same thing--money.
519
00:25:55,580 --> 00:25:58,030
If he wants to insult people, fine.
520
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,010
But it better be good for sales.
521
00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:01,300
Howard stern is funny.
522
00:26:01,310 --> 00:26:03,340
People like him. He
could say what he wants.
523
00:26:03,350 --> 00:26:05,610
Don imus--not
so funny.
524
00:26:05,620 --> 00:26:08,450
And nappy hair was bad
for the bottom line.
525
00:26:08,460 --> 00:26:10,160
It's the same thing here.
526
00:26:10,170 --> 00:26:15,200
W.W.E.N.Was faced with advertiser
pullout because of what bob binder said.
527
00:26:15,210 --> 00:26:18,910
And by the way, what's wrong with
cleaning up the airwaves a little?
528
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:22,570
I'm sick of these so-called journalists
cloaking their hate mongering
529
00:26:22,580 --> 00:26:26,350
and bigotry in the american
flag and calling it free speech.
530
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:31,970
Why can't a radio station fire an employee
for spewing out despicably immoral crap?
531
00:26:31,980 --> 00:26:35,290
Maybe that's what americans
are really calling for here.
532
00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:36,720
About time.
533
00:26:38,420 --> 00:26:42,280
Was what my client said really so bad?
534
00:26:42,290 --> 00:26:45,710
It's interesting-- she
mentions howard stern.
535
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:49,430
My client was asked by his
station to be more like howard.
536
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:54,400
Howard stern asked on the air, "so
if you're half arab and half jewish,
537
00:26:54,410 --> 00:26:58,070
"do you negotiate with the sheep before
having sexual relations with them?"
538
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:00,190
She also mentions don imus.
539
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:04,450
Viacom seems to have no problem with
imus referring to arabs as "ragheads."
540
00:27:04,460 --> 00:27:10,860
In 2004, he referred to simon & schuster,
the book publishers, as jews who steal.
541
00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:15,040
Then he apologized for the
remark as being "redundant."
542
00:27:15,050 --> 00:27:17,630
Uh, glenn beck--
he's on cnn--
543
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,410
"the most trusted name in news."
544
00:27:19,420 --> 00:27:23,150
He's referred to the
katrina survivors as...
545
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:25,520
a vulgarity I'm not
allowed to repeat here.
546
00:27:25,530 --> 00:27:31,200
He also said he didn't think it possible to
hate any victims faster than the 9/11 victims.
547
00:27:31,540 --> 00:27:33,920
These so-called
journalists are everywhere.
548
00:27:33,930 --> 00:27:36,700
And frankly, I wouldn't mind
seeing most of them gone.
549
00:27:36,710 --> 00:27:41,340
But it's one thing to curtail
racist or hateful remarks.
550
00:27:41,350 --> 00:27:45,960
It's quite another to
censor political content.
551
00:27:46,260 --> 00:27:48,690
What bob binder said
may have been offensive,
552
00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:52,610
but it was also
legitimate public debate.
553
00:27:52,620 --> 00:27:58,030
Ironically one the public and the
presidential candidates refuse to engage in.
554
00:27:58,330 --> 00:28:02,670
If the older demographic
has more economic power
555
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,140
to affect the outcome of
the presidential elections,
556
00:28:06,150 --> 00:28:11,000
and the government is spending most of
its money on the older demographic...
557
00:28:11,770 --> 00:28:15,450
gee, shouldn't somebody
be discussing this?
558
00:28:16,310 --> 00:28:19,360
A press-- a
free press--
559
00:28:19,370 --> 00:28:22,020
has always been vital to a democracy.
560
00:28:22,030 --> 00:28:24,790
Not just when they
serve the bottom line,
561
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:29,180
but perhaps especially when it doesn'T.
562
00:28:30,290 --> 00:28:36,410
Your honor, reporters actually lost
their jobs for criticizing the war.
563
00:28:36,730 --> 00:28:42,450
35% of today's journalists say
newsworthy stories are sometimes shunned
564
00:28:42,460 --> 00:28:46,810
if they'll hurt the financial
interests of their news organizations.
565
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,240
In america?
566
00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:51,560
Our free press?
567
00:28:53,390 --> 00:28:57,800
This man got fired from a news talk show
568
00:28:57,810 --> 00:29:01,800
for expressing a political idea.
569
00:29:03,350 --> 00:29:06,510
Are we really okay with that?
570
00:29:07,990 --> 00:29:09,360
Really?
571
00:29:29,490 --> 00:29:34,850
Look, we have a lot of this
illicit, illegal and yes,
572
00:29:34,860 --> 00:29:39,830
immoral activity going on not behind
closed doors but in public areas.
573
00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:42,470
Kids go in these bathrooms sometimes.
574
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:46,790
Are we gonna look the other way
just because he is denny crane?
575
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,200
I mean, come on.
576
00:29:48,210 --> 00:29:51,070
He went in, looked under the stall,
577
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,820
saw somebody, entered
the adjacent stall,
578
00:29:53,830 --> 00:29:56,660
pushed his briefcase
forward, slid his foot over,
579
00:29:56,670 --> 00:29:59,560
tapped his foot then the humming.
580
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:01,830
By coincidence?
581
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,980
This is shameful, even more so
582
00:30:06,990 --> 00:30:12,700
if we excuse it just because he is a high-profile
lawyer who thinks that he should be above the law.
583
00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,190
Alan...
584
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,750
don't save the world, just get me off.
585
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:30,220
Can you do that, please?
586
00:30:30,230 --> 00:30:34,660
Denny, when you hold my hand, it's just
as thrilling as the very first time,
587
00:30:34,670 --> 00:30:37,570
but the jury could get the wrong idea.
588
00:30:43,150 --> 00:30:43,750
I'm sorry.
589
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:49,030
I never heard much gay prostitution
going on in men's rooms.
590
00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:54,570
I mean, uh, maybe in a park or a
club or-- uh, but in a courthouse?
591
00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:00,770
There's certainly a lot more of the
heterosexual kind going on elsewhere,
592
00:31:00,780 --> 00:31:02,670
most of which we turn a blind eye to.
593
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:05,340
There's even talk of
legalizing it in vegas.
594
00:31:05,350 --> 00:31:09,850
So is there something especially
offensive about gay prostitution?
595
00:31:09,860 --> 00:31:12,530
We know washington
certainly feels that way.
596
00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:17,220
All those family values senators had
nothing to say about david vitter,
597
00:31:17,230 --> 00:31:20,770
the louisiana senator who was,
uh, caught in a prostitution ring.
598
00:31:20,780 --> 00:31:23,960
I guess because he had the decency
to visit only female hookers.
599
00:31:23,970 --> 00:31:26,150
So, uh, let me see.
600
00:31:28,340 --> 00:31:30,430
All right, we've got, uh,
601
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:35,210
29 current or recent members of
congress a-accused of spousal abuse.
602
00:31:35,220 --> 00:31:38,050
27 have been arrested for
driving under the influence.
603
00:31:38,060 --> 00:31:41,120
19 current or recent members
accused of writing bad checks.
604
00:31:41,130 --> 00:31:43,130
14 have drug related arrests.
605
00:31:43,140 --> 00:31:47,020
Eight busted for splifting, seven for
fraud, four for theft, three for assault,
606
00:31:47,030 --> 00:31:51,190
but larry craig's the one they simply must
broom for tapping his foot in a men's room.
607
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,560
And why are we paying
the police to tap back?
608
00:31:54,570 --> 00:31:58,720
With all this terror business and these
security crises going on in airports,
609
00:31:58,730 --> 00:32:02,940
why are the police across the country
manning bathroom stalls to play footsie?
610
00:32:03,620 --> 00:32:07,450
Mr. Shore, I shall ask you to
confine yourself to this case.
611
00:32:07,460 --> 00:32:09,360
I'm talking about this case.
612
00:32:09,370 --> 00:32:11,610
Homophobia has run amok, judge.
613
00:32:11,620 --> 00:32:14,670
It's the reason we're all gathered
here, and it's preposterous.
614
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:19,490
We're actually sitting in a courtroom
wasting tax dollars because my client had gas.
615
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:20,590
He was constipated.
616
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,310
He went to remedy his problem
in a bathroom--imagine that--
617
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,540
where, lo and behold, three undercover
police officers were lurking,
618
00:32:26,550 --> 00:32:29,880
waiting to interpret a tapping
foot as a call for gay sex.
619
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,660
Now, uh, maybe larry
craig deserved his fate.
620
00:32:33,670 --> 00:32:36,170
He was thrown in front of the
very bus he helped to build.
621
00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:37,920
But denny crane doesn't deserve this.
622
00:32:37,930 --> 00:32:40,240
All he was trying to do was take a crap.
623
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:52,830
and even if one were to go there looking
for sex, there's no law against that.
624
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,890
The crime is soliciting for a fee.
625
00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:59,440
This complaint doesn't even
allege that any money was involved.
626
00:32:59,450 --> 00:33:01,930
As my, uh, great aunt gert used to say,
627
00:33:01,940 --> 00:33:04,810
"this smells funny, and
I'm not going to eat it."
628
00:33:17,310 --> 00:33:21,490
The first amendment applies to state
action only, t private companies.
629
00:33:21,750 --> 00:33:25,900
If a government punishes mr. Binder for
saying what he did, that's censorship.
630
00:33:25,910 --> 00:33:30,430
When a private business does
so, it's editorial control.
631
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:31,730
this isn't going well.
632
00:33:31,740 --> 00:33:33,100
You say something, ms. Schmidt?
633
00:33:33,110 --> 00:33:36,230
if I did, I'm sure it
wasn't important, your honor.
634
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:37,790
However...
635
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:38,980
there's the magic word.
636
00:33:38,990 --> 00:33:42,990
Corporations have become the biggest
infringers of free expression.
637
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:46,290
It's been going on for years,
starting with cigarette companies
638
00:33:46,300 --> 00:33:51,800
who pull their advertising dollars from any
publication that runs an article on cancer.
639
00:33:51,810 --> 00:33:57,610
Beyond that, corporations are using something
called S.L.A.P.P. Suits to chill free speech.
640
00:33:57,620 --> 00:34:03,040
So when it comes to truth in
this country, the fix is in.
641
00:34:03,050 --> 00:34:08,210
As for talk show hosts, the public
gets the opinion the sponsors pay for.
642
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:12,870
Your honor, this is truly riveting,
but can you just give us the ruling?
643
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:14,720
Dwarves have limited life spans.
644
00:34:14,730 --> 00:34:16,740
Judgment for the petitioner.
645
00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:18,520
That work for ya?
646
00:34:19,350 --> 00:34:20,650
Are you on drugs?
647
00:34:20,660 --> 00:34:23,060
He was hired to be a provocateur.
648
00:34:23,070 --> 00:34:25,700
He said inflammatory things before.
649
00:34:25,710 --> 00:34:28,680
He was championed by
the station for doing so.
650
00:34:28,690 --> 00:34:33,430
I'm ruling in favor of the
plaintiff on an estoppel theory.
651
00:34:33,730 --> 00:34:36,710
Please don't take this
personal, pip-squeak.
652
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,780
I want that on the record.
653
00:34:39,790 --> 00:34:45,380
You know, that robe doesn't give you the
authority or the right to demean me for my size,
654
00:34:45,390 --> 00:34:47,620
you barrage balloon.
655
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:50,250
Go ahead.
656
00:34:50,260 --> 00:34:52,370
What are you gonna do?
657
00:35:04,700 --> 00:35:06,060
bethany.
658
00:35:10,590 --> 00:35:13,810
That cannon remark was
really below the belt.
659
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:16,970
I'm sorry.
660
00:35:18,130 --> 00:35:20,680
It wasn't my intent to...
661
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:24,800
well, stoop to your level, and
please don't take that the wrong way.
662
00:35:25,730 --> 00:35:27,430
It's just...
663
00:35:28,280 --> 00:35:32,670
you seem to push my
buttons for whatever reason.
664
00:35:33,470 --> 00:35:35,710
Not many people can do that.
665
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,320
Is it because I was with
denny, and you still love him?
666
00:35:39,330 --> 00:35:42,840
It could be many
things, but n-not that.
667
00:35:43,590 --> 00:35:45,950
The--the truth
is, I bet...
668
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:48,060
I could like you.
669
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,410
okay, not a chance.
670
00:35:52,420 --> 00:35:55,990
But I do tip to my hat to you, bethany.
671
00:35:56,860 --> 00:35:59,550
You really are something.
672
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:01,620
Thank you.
673
00:36:03,890 --> 00:36:07,270
Well... have a good night.
674
00:36:07,650 --> 00:36:09,620
Until we meet again.
675
00:36:09,630 --> 00:36:12,400
Yes, until.
676
00:36:28,890 --> 00:36:29,840
A fatwa?
677
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:32,930
Some pakistani put a hit on her?
678
00:36:33,870 --> 00:36:34,920
That's what she said.
679
00:36:34,930 --> 00:36:36,930
I have had heard of
these honor killings.
680
00:36:37,700 --> 00:36:39,410
- A fatwa?
- Keep your voice down.
681
00:36:39,420 --> 00:36:40,920
She asked me to keep her confidence.
682
00:36:40,930 --> 00:36:42,230
- I'm not keeping it.
- Whitney!
683
00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:44,330
Suppose her ex-husband shows up here?
684
00:36:44,340 --> 00:36:46,590
I'm not going down in some fatwa.
685
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:50,660
Hello.
686
00:36:51,660 --> 00:36:52,420
hello.
687
00:36:52,430 --> 00:36:53,830
How's it going?
688
00:36:55,620 --> 00:36:56,670
what's going on?
689
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:01,640
Oh, nothing. Just discussing the
patriots and red sox and fatwas.
690
00:37:04,220 --> 00:37:05,700
I'm disappointed.
691
00:37:05,710 --> 00:37:07,300
you're disappointed?
692
00:37:07,310 --> 00:37:09,050
You put us all at risk, girl.
693
00:37:09,060 --> 00:37:11,900
What if your ex-pakistani
blows up the building, hmm?
694
00:37:11,910 --> 00:37:13,980
That would really disappoint me.
695
00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:16,820
In fact, we'd all go to pieces.
696
00:37:18,750 --> 00:37:21,840
I can't stop you revealing my secret
if that's what you choose to do.
697
00:37:21,850 --> 00:37:24,690
But you will jeopardize my life.
698
00:37:34,970 --> 00:37:36,740
A fatwa?
699
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:49,290
Can you imagine?
700
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:54,070
Of all the times I've beaten the rap,
to be convicted of public gayness...
701
00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:56,870
I'll be forced to
unregister as a republican.
702
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,470
Republicans would have no
problem with you being gay, denny,
703
00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,090
so long as you continue
to persecute homosexuals.
704
00:38:02,100 --> 00:38:03,710
I hope you're right.
705
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:07,250
Madam foreperson, the
jury's verdict is unanimous?
706
00:38:07,260 --> 00:38:08,460
Yes, your honor.
707
00:38:08,470 --> 00:38:10,700
The defendant will please rise.
708
00:38:12,310 --> 00:38:13,970
Madam foreperson, what say you?
709
00:38:13,980 --> 00:38:16,850
We find the defendant denny crane...
710
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,040
not guilty.
711
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,070
oh, thank god.
712
00:38:23,350 --> 00:38:24,800
Congratulations, denny.
713
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:28,710
Uh, could your honor find as a
matter of law that I am not gay?
714
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:30,660
Denied.
715
00:38:31,670 --> 00:38:33,400
adjourned.
716
00:38:33,740 --> 00:38:35,170
You must be deeply relieved.
717
00:38:35,510 --> 00:38:38,320
Oh, I could hug you,
but I might get arrested.
718
00:38:38,330 --> 00:38:39,870
Hug me anyway.
719
00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:49,490
not gay.
720
00:38:49,500 --> 00:38:50,860
Not guilty.
721
00:38:58,350 --> 00:38:59,000
Tell me the truth.
722
00:38:59,010 --> 00:39:01,720
Wouldn't you hate it if
people thought you were gay?
723
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:08,880
Well, I'd hate the idea of being
perceived as deceitful or dishonest.
724
00:39:09,690 --> 00:39:12,140
As for sexual orientation, I...
725
00:39:13,910 --> 00:39:16,960
women are much less guarded
around gay men, denny.
726
00:39:16,970 --> 00:39:21,160
You could endear yourself as a bit of a trojan
horse before surprising them with your...
727
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:22,910
trojan.
728
00:39:23,900 --> 00:39:25,740
I never thought of that.
729
00:39:26,250 --> 00:39:28,290
This could be an advantage.
730
00:39:33,210 --> 00:39:35,420
thank you, alan.
731
00:39:35,950 --> 00:39:40,380
I'm not crazy about you lumping me with
that closet democrat from idaho but...
732
00:39:42,990 --> 00:39:44,630
still, thank you.
733
00:39:45,740 --> 00:39:49,600
Can you believe the D.A. Tried
to exploit us for being flamingos?
734
00:39:49,610 --> 00:39:51,490
Oh, ridiculous.
735
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,710
Thank god he didn't find out we like
to dress up as the lennon sisters.
736
00:39:57,570 --> 00:40:00,250
he actually tried to shame
us for our sleepovers.
737
00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:01,500
Bigot.
738
00:40:01,510 --> 00:40:06,200
Those homosexuals can't stand the
thought of legitimate male bonding.
739
00:40:06,210 --> 00:40:07,600
Where is the tolerance?
740
00:40:08,910 --> 00:40:10,440
oh, did you hear?
741
00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:12,790
Shirley went up against bethany.
742
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:13,940
No.
743
00:40:17,170 --> 00:40:20,050
God, it's been so long since
I've had sex with a dwarf.
744
00:40:20,790 --> 00:40:22,300
Me, too.
745
00:40:24,110 --> 00:40:25,430
Me, too.
746
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,560
It's the little things, alan.
747
00:40:28,530 --> 00:40:30,410
we gotta stop working so much.
748
00:40:30,420 --> 00:40:32,650
Maybe if you could
stop getting arrested.
749
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:33,960
I'm the problem?
750
00:40:33,970 --> 00:40:38,270
well, you have been causing a
fair amount of trouble lately.
751
00:40:40,610 --> 00:40:42,660
you think I've lived an evil life?
752
00:40:43,700 --> 00:40:46,310
I womanize, I drink, I break the law,
753
00:40:46,930 --> 00:40:49,000
and now to be mistaken for a-A...
754
00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:53,600
well, you get to be my age,
755
00:40:53,610 --> 00:40:58,360
you--you worry about the
afterlife and where you're heading.
756
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,730
You ever think about those things?
757
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:06,230
Sometimes.
758
00:41:07,010 --> 00:41:08,970
Then I remember what mark twain said,
759
00:41:08,980 --> 00:41:12,420
"you go to heaven for the climate
but to hell for the compy," so...
760
00:41:12,430 --> 00:41:14,500
no matter what, in the end...
761
00:41:14,510 --> 00:41:16,290
we'll be together.
762
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:17,560
Indeed.
763
00:41:17,570 --> 00:41:19,950
Soul mates in hell. I love it.
764
00:41:24,130 --> 00:41:26,580
I bet they have dwarves in hell.
765
00:41:26,590 --> 00:41:28,380
How could they not?
766
00:41:30,240 --> 00:41:32,610
Suddenly I'm less afraid of death.
767
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,400
There you go.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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