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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,344 --> 00:00:06,896 Damn. Internet's harsh. 2 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,551 [Computer voice] Scrubbed 90 %. 3 00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:10,551 Oh, so close. 4 00:00:12,228 --> 00:00:13,428 [Edmund] Oh, good, you're here. 5 00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:15,710 So we're launching Scrubr in a week. 6 00:00:15,779 --> 00:00:16,779 What?! 7 00:00:16,814 --> 00:00:18,660 [Phone chiming] Ugh, it's Tom. 8 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:19,892 Who's Tom?! 9 00:00:19,961 --> 00:00:21,858 Our lead investor. You met him. 10 00:00:21,926 --> 00:00:24,409 Look, he's called six times in the last 48 hours. 11 00:00:24,478 --> 00:00:25,892 If he calls you, don't pick up. 12 00:00:25,961 --> 00:00:27,213 Why are we launching this in a week? 13 00:00:27,237 --> 00:00:28,685 We need more coders. 14 00:00:28,754 --> 00:00:30,685 Also, it's not even testing efficiently. 15 00:00:30,754 --> 00:00:32,720 Because we're running out of money 16 00:00:32,789 --> 00:00:34,823 and I may or may not have told the investors 17 00:00:34,892 --> 00:00:36,685 that we're 100 % ready to go 18 00:00:36,754 --> 00:00:38,661 and expecting a million paid downloads on day one. 19 00:00:38,685 --> 00:00:39,892 Why would you do that? 20 00:00:39,961 --> 00:00:41,858 Because that's what we do in Silicon Valley. 21 00:00:41,926 --> 00:00:43,892 We move fast. We break things. 22 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:45,513 We over-promise, over-deliver. 23 00:00:45,582 --> 00:00:46,720 We fake it till we make it. 24 00:00:46,789 --> 00:00:48,926 So conning. No, it's not conning. 25 00:00:48,995 --> 00:00:51,651 It's not relevant because I saved us 26 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:53,582 by calling in a favor from very high up, 27 00:00:53,651 --> 00:00:56,237 and I got us a meeting with Jerry fucking Harrison. 28 00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:57,995 No way.Yeah. 29 00:00:58,064 --> 00:01:00,030 The guy with the hammer with the big fruits? 30 00:01:00,099 --> 00:01:01,789 Comes out with the overalls? 31 00:01:01,858 --> 00:01:03,720 Nice ass. No, Gallagher? 32 00:01:03,789 --> 00:01:05,720 Big ol' fatty? You're horny for Gallagher? 33 00:01:05,789 --> 00:01:07,547 No, it's Jerry Harrison, 34 00:01:07,616 --> 00:01:10,306 the messiah for millennial tech-based marketing. 35 00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:11,655 We're gonna go meet him tonight. 36 00:01:11,685 --> 00:01:13,030 Here's his Insta. 37 00:01:13,099 --> 00:01:15,202 Oh, cool. He hangs out with Skrillex. 38 00:01:15,271 --> 00:01:16,685 Yeah, and Martha Plimpton. 39 00:01:16,754 --> 00:01:18,168 He's in Martha Plimpton's home. 40 00:01:18,237 --> 00:01:19,375 Villa in Turks and Caicos. 41 00:01:19,444 --> 00:01:20,547 I thought it was "Keikos." 42 00:01:20,616 --> 00:01:22,064 No. [Phone chiming] 43 00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:23,651 Ugh, please tell me that's not Tom. 44 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:25,651 No, it's Daniel, your doorman. 45 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,064 Daniel? My doorman? Why's he calling you? 46 00:01:28,133 --> 00:01:30,892 Because we recently connected. He aged really hot. 47 00:01:30,961 --> 00:01:32,375 And I need pussy! Get outta here! 48 00:01:32,444 --> 00:01:33,685 Oh, God. 49 00:01:33,754 --> 00:01:36,444 Let me get my goddamn game on. Shit. 50 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,513 ♪♪ 51 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:47,340 I mean, I like Alice. 52 00:01:47,409 --> 00:01:49,685 Just she has a lot of breakdowns. 53 00:01:49,754 --> 00:01:51,306 I don't like it when they cry. 54 00:01:51,375 --> 00:01:53,030 [Laughing] 55 00:01:53,099 --> 00:01:54,213 All right, I'll see you next week. 56 00:01:54,237 --> 00:01:56,409 Oh, no, no, wait. I made you something. 57 00:01:56,478 --> 00:01:58,547 Wait. Oh.What? 58 00:02:01,168 --> 00:02:03,582 Oh, cool! 59 00:02:03,651 --> 00:02:05,202 A spoon! 60 00:02:05,271 --> 00:02:06,375 No, no, no, no, no. 61 00:02:06,444 --> 00:02:08,375 It's a deconstructed mirror. 62 00:02:08,444 --> 00:02:10,616 It represents the controlled chaos 63 00:02:10,685 --> 00:02:12,133 I see in you. 64 00:02:12,202 --> 00:02:13,892 Well, thanks. 65 00:02:13,961 --> 00:02:14,961 Yeah. 66 00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,685 Do you wanna go on a date sometime? 67 00:02:19,754 --> 00:02:22,478 I'm having rectal surgery next week. 68 00:02:23,961 --> 00:02:25,651 I'm kidding! 69 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,030 Is that a yes or a no? Yes, of course! 70 00:02:28,099 --> 00:02:29,133 Okay. 71 00:02:29,202 --> 00:02:32,720 ♪♪ 72 00:02:32,789 --> 00:02:35,375 [club music plays] 73 00:02:35,444 --> 00:02:37,030 [Jerry] Yo, yo, what up?! 74 00:02:37,099 --> 00:02:38,616 Team Scrub-a-dub-dub 75 00:02:38,685 --> 00:02:40,513 all up in my club! 76 00:02:40,582 --> 00:02:42,926 This is business, baby! Whoo! 77 00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:44,961 Wow. Is this his office? 78 00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:49,064 Whoop, whoop! Team Scrubr in da hey-yo! 79 00:02:49,133 --> 00:02:51,444 Jere, thank you so much for meeting us. 80 00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:54,616 Um, we just brought some materials... 81 00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:56,178 Branding guidelines, rough designs, and whatnot. 82 00:02:56,202 --> 00:02:57,926 Okay, cool. Let me see that. 83 00:02:57,995 --> 00:02:59,168 Yeah! 84 00:02:59,237 --> 00:03:00,717 [Glass shattering, electrical buzzing] 85 00:03:01,754 --> 00:03:02,823 Oh... 86 00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:04,478 That's what I think of that. 87 00:03:04,547 --> 00:03:07,306 Folks, this is the future. 88 00:03:07,375 --> 00:03:09,651 Brand strategy, PR, digital marketing... 89 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,237 None of it matters! 90 00:03:11,306 --> 00:03:14,030 Unless you have the what? The... 91 00:03:14,099 --> 00:03:15,995 Hair. 92 00:03:16,064 --> 00:03:17,409 Coping mechanism... 93 00:03:17,478 --> 00:03:19,030 Dream, stupid. 94 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,099 Dream.Dream. 95 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,099 [Panting, chuckling] What is that? 96 00:03:23,168 --> 00:03:25,823 Oh, this? This is my B12 supplement, yeah.Oh. 97 00:03:25,892 --> 00:03:27,306 It's super healthy. 98 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,823 It's like great for my workouts. 99 00:03:28,892 --> 00:03:30,306 It works faster if you snort it. 100 00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:32,168 Oh! Oh, cool, yeah.Yeah. 101 00:03:32,237 --> 00:03:33,961 It's really good for your fingernails. 102 00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:35,444 [Snorting] 103 00:03:35,513 --> 00:03:36,713 Feel that in your hemorrhoids. 104 00:03:36,754 --> 00:03:37,926 [Laughing] 105 00:03:37,995 --> 00:03:39,237 Right? 106 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:42,547 It's like almost like a... gasoline element to it. 107 00:03:42,616 --> 00:03:43,856 Oh, my God. Then that's my coke. 108 00:03:43,892 --> 00:03:45,030 I'm sorry. This is my B12. 109 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,926 'Cause I usually use... My bad, huh. 110 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,616 Hey, Corinna, this old lady 111 00:03:49,685 --> 00:03:50,926 just snorted half of my coke. 112 00:03:50,995 --> 00:03:52,685 Can I get some more? 113 00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,099 Why are we here, Edmund? 114 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:55,271 I just did cocaine. 115 00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:56,237 The tip of my nose is sweatin'. 116 00:03:56,306 --> 00:03:57,651 Oh, yeah. Speeding. 117 00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,651 Yeah! 118 00:03:58,720 --> 00:03:59,995 Look, can you at least act 119 00:04:00,064 --> 00:04:01,799 like you've been at a marketing meeting before? 120 00:04:01,823 --> 00:04:03,961 This guy's sleazy. He's bullshittin' us. 121 00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:05,547 And that was real cocaine! I gotta go. 122 00:04:07,306 --> 00:04:09,030 Oh, you're waddling. 123 00:04:09,099 --> 00:04:10,892 Hey, where'd your aunt go? 124 00:04:10,961 --> 00:04:12,892 Why does she sound like Danny DeVito? 125 00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,513 Oh, it's more of a young Carol Channing. 126 00:04:15,582 --> 00:04:16,592 She just went to the bathroom. 127 00:04:16,616 --> 00:04:17,823 Well, that's gross. 128 00:04:17,892 --> 00:04:19,409 Um, all right, listen. 129 00:04:19,478 --> 00:04:22,237 The answer to all your marketing needs... 130 00:04:22,306 --> 00:04:26,237 is a giant newsworthy, history-making party 131 00:04:26,306 --> 00:04:28,168 this Saturday night. 132 00:04:28,237 --> 00:04:30,064 Wait, this Saturday? Uh-huh. 133 00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:32,409 I mean, that sounds great. It just seems a little fast. 134 00:04:32,478 --> 00:04:33,582 Let me tell you something. 135 00:04:33,651 --> 00:04:36,306 We market Scrubr to a demographic 136 00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:39,685 of... of highly impressionable yuppie millennials. 137 00:04:39,754 --> 00:04:41,513 Dude, we're gonna break the fucking matrix. 138 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:43,547 You are a genius. 139 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,685 Now let's talk about the face of our product. 140 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:47,995 That would be Nora. 141 00:04:48,064 --> 00:04:49,099 That's a terrible idea. 142 00:04:49,168 --> 00:04:50,651 She's a hard four, and I don't know 143 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:51,720 how to market that shit. 144 00:04:51,789 --> 00:04:53,237 [Nora groaning, toilet flushing] 145 00:04:53,306 --> 00:04:55,133 Good Lord! [Nora continues groaning] 146 00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:57,306 Okay, just clean her up for our audience. 147 00:04:57,375 --> 00:04:59,478 And yeah, the clam is ours for the suckin'. 148 00:04:59,547 --> 00:05:01,720 You know what I mean? [Makes sucking sounds] 149 00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:07,340 Hey, Wally, do you have any AA batteries? 150 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:14,513 [Exhales] 151 00:05:15,754 --> 00:05:17,306 What the heck? 152 00:05:24,961 --> 00:05:26,099 [Camera shutter clicks] 153 00:05:37,547 --> 00:05:39,823 Lewei's so lame. 154 00:05:46,168 --> 00:05:47,582 Okay, Jerry, are you ready 155 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,616 to see the new Nora? 156 00:05:49,685 --> 00:05:50,961 This is truly my best work. 157 00:05:51,030 --> 00:05:52,306 Get out! 158 00:05:54,478 --> 00:05:56,858 Thin-rimmed glasses, side ponytail, 159 00:05:56,926 --> 00:05:58,858 post-post-modern Japanese turtleneck, 160 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,720 health goth sweatpants, and nylon-sock shoes. 161 00:06:01,789 --> 00:06:03,685 It's so tech, it's perfect. 162 00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:04,926 Thank you. 163 00:06:04,995 --> 00:06:06,247 [Mimics Elizabeth Holmes] Yeah, thank you. 164 00:06:06,271 --> 00:06:08,547 Wait... [wheezing laugh] 165 00:06:08,616 --> 00:06:10,064 Are you doing the, um... 166 00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:11,616 the Elizabeth Holmes voice? 167 00:06:11,685 --> 00:06:14,685 Ooh, my God, that is such a great idea. 168 00:06:14,754 --> 00:06:16,789 Edmund, great job, baby. 169 00:06:16,858 --> 00:06:18,789 You know who else did a great job? 170 00:06:18,858 --> 00:06:19,995 Uh, me. 171 00:06:20,064 --> 00:06:21,858 Check out this ad I made. 172 00:06:21,926 --> 00:06:25,547 Behold, the Scrubr launch fest. 173 00:06:25,616 --> 00:06:26,823 Hoo... 174 00:06:26,892 --> 00:06:28,823 Wow, cronuts. 175 00:06:28,892 --> 00:06:30,409 [Jerry] Dronuts. 176 00:06:30,478 --> 00:06:31,995 They're cronuts delivered by drones. 177 00:06:32,064 --> 00:06:34,030 VIP tents and villas. 178 00:06:34,099 --> 00:06:36,547 Oh, that one looks like the Flintstone house. 179 00:06:36,616 --> 00:06:40,064 Yeah, and all for the small price of 45K. 180 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,513 ♪♪ 181 00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:44,892 A Lady Marmalade reunion?! [Jerry snickering] 182 00:06:44,961 --> 00:06:47,375 Oh, my God, Jerry, this party's gonna be incredible. 183 00:06:47,444 --> 00:06:48,478 I know. 184 00:06:48,547 --> 00:06:51,961 ♪♪ 185 00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:53,823 [deep voice] Scrubr! 186 00:06:53,892 --> 00:06:55,582 Jerry, I am so impressed, 187 00:06:55,651 --> 00:06:57,926 I just took a mocho-choco-lata-yaya 188 00:06:57,995 --> 00:06:59,099 in my pants. 189 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:01,306 Did you come? Not really. 190 00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:02,834 If we need to get this done by Saturday, though, 191 00:07:02,858 --> 00:07:04,444 we still have a lot of work to do. 192 00:07:04,513 --> 00:07:06,789 You lost your octave. 193 00:07:06,858 --> 00:07:08,938 [Deep voice] In order to accomplish this by Saturday, 194 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,547 we have a lot of work to do to pursue our mission 195 00:07:11,616 --> 00:07:13,030 that we initially set forth. 196 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,340 Good, but you blinked like five times. 197 00:07:15,409 --> 00:07:17,030 Elizabeth Holmes never blinks. 198 00:07:17,099 --> 00:07:18,299 [Deep voice] I'll work on that. 199 00:07:20,549 --> 00:07:22,584 Fuck! 200 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:24,527 [Muttering] 30 %. 201 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,975 Your tag is off right there. No, it's not working! 202 00:07:27,044 --> 00:07:28,078 No... It doesn't... 203 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:29,182 [Jerry] Incoming! 204 00:07:29,251 --> 00:07:31,078 There's my Venus, there's my fire. 205 00:07:31,147 --> 00:07:32,216 Here I am, your desire. 206 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,320 Boom! 207 00:07:35,630 --> 00:07:39,389 What do y'all think of collapsible mansions? 208 00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,320 Stadium seating. 209 00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:42,733 Ice room. 210 00:07:42,802 --> 00:07:45,251 Vodka luge. 211 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,423 Wow, Jerry, this is fantastic. 212 00:07:48,492 --> 00:07:52,009 Um, so the code is still rough, 213 00:07:52,078 --> 00:07:53,768 but it's getting there and... 214 00:07:53,837 --> 00:07:55,596 Doesn't matter, okay? 215 00:07:55,664 --> 00:07:58,285 We don't get downloads by having a perfect product. 216 00:07:58,354 --> 00:08:01,320 We get downloads by marketing a perfect... 217 00:08:01,389 --> 00:08:02,768 Product.Product. 218 00:08:02,837 --> 00:08:04,572 That's right. Thank you. Yes. [Phone vibrating] 219 00:08:04,596 --> 00:08:06,630 Edmund? [Jerry] What up, homes? 220 00:08:06,699 --> 00:08:07,940 I don't feel good about this. 221 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,871 No. Stop. No, it's weird. It... 222 00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:13,251 I'm stupid, but I know, I know enough 223 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,768 that this is impossible. 224 00:08:15,837 --> 00:08:17,117 He knows what he's talking about. 225 00:08:17,147 --> 00:08:18,503 Stop being difficult. Look, he's wearing a Henley 226 00:08:18,527 --> 00:08:21,354 and a Seersucker blazer, he's a genius. 227 00:08:21,423 --> 00:08:22,768 Okay, No-ra? 228 00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:23,871 It's just Nora. 229 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:25,216 Got you an interview 230 00:08:25,285 --> 00:08:27,009 with "Ferbes" magazine. 231 00:08:27,078 --> 00:08:28,354 What is "Ferbes"? 232 00:08:28,423 --> 00:08:30,354 Millennial "Forbes," yeah! 233 00:08:30,423 --> 00:08:32,113 It's much more "audienced." 234 00:08:32,182 --> 00:08:33,365 Man, they don't even have a website. 235 00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:34,458 They have a hashtag. 236 00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:36,007 So where will the interview be posted? 237 00:08:36,044 --> 00:08:37,423 Nowhere. But everywhere, yeah. 238 00:08:37,492 --> 00:08:39,044 But everywhere. That's right. 239 00:08:39,113 --> 00:08:40,354 Come on, bring it in. 240 00:08:40,423 --> 00:08:42,561 Here, hook me up. No.Okay. 241 00:08:44,182 --> 00:08:45,664 How are you enjoying your... 242 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:47,320 [deep voice] Death by Poison? 243 00:08:47,389 --> 00:08:48,664 Yes, it's good. It's good. 244 00:08:48,733 --> 00:08:50,113 It's got root beer in it. 245 00:08:50,182 --> 00:08:51,285 [Man] The pain! 246 00:08:51,354 --> 00:08:57,216 Oh! But then, oh, the freedom! 247 00:08:57,285 --> 00:09:00,147 [Laughing maniacally] [glass shattering] 248 00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:01,216 [chuckling] 249 00:09:03,285 --> 00:09:05,354 Oh, no, I'm sorry. 250 00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:07,458 I thought this was gonna be a lot more, 251 00:09:07,527 --> 00:09:10,285 you know, funny-scary, not scary-scary.Yeah. 252 00:09:10,354 --> 00:09:11,914 You're... you're not having a good time. 253 00:09:11,975 --> 00:09:15,251 No, I'm having fun. It's just... 254 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,389 When I was a kid, I got... I got... 255 00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:20,216 I got trapped in this haunted maze... 256 00:09:20,285 --> 00:09:22,699 [gasps] ...for like 28 hours. 257 00:09:22,768 --> 00:09:25,044 So it's a little triggering. Oh, no! 258 00:09:25,113 --> 00:09:26,423 But it's okay. Maybe we could... 259 00:09:26,492 --> 00:09:28,285 [phone vibrating] Oh! Sorry. 260 00:09:28,354 --> 00:09:31,216 I'm sorry, I... [phone continues vibrating] 261 00:09:31,285 --> 00:09:33,113 Oh, it's my mom. 262 00:09:33,182 --> 00:09:35,354 She's called me like five times. 263 00:09:35,423 --> 00:09:37,044 I'm sorry, I think I better take this. 264 00:09:37,113 --> 00:09:38,733 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 265 00:09:40,802 --> 00:09:43,768 [Phone continues vibrating] 266 00:09:45,423 --> 00:09:47,044 [creepy music plays] 267 00:09:47,113 --> 00:09:49,664 Hey, Mom, what's up? Everything okay? 268 00:09:49,733 --> 00:09:51,596 Where are you? 269 00:09:51,664 --> 00:09:54,837 I... got a business thing. 270 00:09:54,906 --> 00:09:56,216 Ha! [Screaming] 271 00:09:56,285 --> 00:09:57,630 What was that? 272 00:09:57,699 --> 00:09:58,985 Just, you know... [nervous chuckling] 273 00:09:59,009 --> 00:10:01,251 kids playing in the park. 274 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:03,733 Yeah! [Crowd cheering] 275 00:10:03,802 --> 00:10:05,664 [man laughing menacingly] 276 00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:08,147 Ma, don't worry about it. I'll be home later. Bye. 277 00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,147 Yeah! 278 00:10:09,216 --> 00:10:10,285 Shit. 279 00:10:11,285 --> 00:10:12,802 [Phone beeping] 280 00:10:24,251 --> 00:10:27,458 [Grandma's voice] Winking rabbit giving a thumbs-up sign. 281 00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,733 Yeah! 282 00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:32,044 ♪♪ 283 00:10:32,113 --> 00:10:35,009 Okay, this office is fully amazing. 284 00:10:35,078 --> 00:10:36,492 There's like Christmas stuff up. 285 00:10:36,561 --> 00:10:37,975 There's like sports stuff up. 286 00:10:38,044 --> 00:10:39,596 I love it, I love you. You're dynamic. 287 00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:40,837 [Giggling] 288 00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:42,389 I'm Justin Schultz Boudreau, 289 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:44,389 editor-in-chief of "Ferbes" magazine. 290 00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:46,044 The most famous people in my phone 291 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,561 is currently a tie between Billie Eilish 292 00:10:48,630 --> 00:10:49,906 and Hillary Clinton. [Chuckles] 293 00:10:49,975 --> 00:10:51,320 I'm here with Nora Lin. 294 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:52,906 She's gonna tell me all about Scrubr. 295 00:10:52,975 --> 00:10:54,251 Here we go. 296 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,147 [Mimics Elizabeth Holmes] Oh, hi, Justin. Um... 297 00:10:58,216 --> 00:11:00,906 Let me sell you a fantasy. 298 00:11:00,975 --> 00:11:04,733 Imagine a world where literally everyone 299 00:11:04,802 --> 00:11:07,216 can exist free from memes 300 00:11:07,285 --> 00:11:09,320 and online destruction. 301 00:11:09,389 --> 00:11:10,975 Mm, amazing. 302 00:11:11,044 --> 00:11:12,423 I love that and I love your vision. 303 00:11:12,492 --> 00:11:13,492 Thank you. 304 00:11:13,561 --> 00:11:14,975 Let's blast it out right now. 305 00:11:15,044 --> 00:11:16,492 [Gasps] 306 00:11:16,561 --> 00:11:18,147 ♪♪ 307 00:11:18,216 --> 00:11:19,320 Do you see it? No. 308 00:11:19,389 --> 00:11:22,354 ♪♪ 309 00:11:22,423 --> 00:11:25,596 Whoa! 18,000 likes in an hour?! 310 00:11:25,672 --> 00:11:27,466 Oh, this party's gonna be awesome! 311 00:11:27,527 --> 00:11:29,354 [Bubbles popping sound] 312 00:11:29,423 --> 00:11:30,837 Should be right here. [Gasps] 313 00:11:30,906 --> 00:11:33,251 [ominous music plays] 314 00:11:34,354 --> 00:11:35,975 Ohh! 315 00:11:36,044 --> 00:11:37,147 [Gasps] 316 00:11:37,216 --> 00:11:38,561 We're fucked. 317 00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,324 [Edmund] I need this curbside in like 25 minutes. 318 00:11:41,348 --> 00:11:42,831 So, yeah, this is actually plugs... 319 00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:44,420 Jerry! Jerry!... but this is real hair. 320 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:46,180 Yeah. This is a disaster. 321 00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,722 The stage isn't even built. 322 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,481 Is Lady Marmalade even coming? 323 00:11:49,550 --> 00:11:52,171 Trust me! Yes, Lady Marm... 324 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,205 Are you thirsty? 325 00:11:54,274 --> 00:11:55,722 I'm gonna get water. You want water? 326 00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:57,378 No. Shit, fuck. [Phone chiming] 327 00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,378 Shit, fuck. Shit, fuck, shit, fuck. 328 00:11:59,447 --> 00:12:01,240 Hi, Tom. [Tom] Is everything okay? 329 00:12:01,309 --> 00:12:02,964 Yes, things are going great. 330 00:12:03,033 --> 00:12:05,654 I cannot wait to see you... tomorrow! 331 00:12:05,722 --> 00:12:09,826 So you want us to like help you build a gazebo? 332 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,171 Yes, that would be great. 333 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,722 We need 45 along this corridor 334 00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:14,447 and then another 65 along this corridor. 335 00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:16,860 Bruh, bruh, I couldn't build a bear to save my life. 336 00:12:16,929 --> 00:12:18,378 Wow. Yeah, um, 337 00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,274 and I just got a mani, so... 338 00:12:20,343 --> 00:12:22,309 Thank you and thank you. 339 00:12:22,378 --> 00:12:23,585 You know what? 340 00:12:25,033 --> 00:12:26,205 For nothing! 341 00:12:29,343 --> 00:12:31,964 Hey, do you wanna go 69? 342 00:12:33,173 --> 00:12:34,547 Word? 343 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:37,412 I'd love to. 344 00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:40,585 You didn't even hold hands right! 345 00:12:40,654 --> 00:12:41,826 You goddamn traitors. 346 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,136 Yo, this is a mess. 347 00:12:43,205 --> 00:12:45,619 Daniel, thank you so much for coming. 348 00:12:45,688 --> 00:12:47,048 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No problem. 349 00:12:47,102 --> 00:12:49,033 I'm just... Oh, my God, I'm overheating. 350 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,654 Okay, all right. Okay, just breathe. 351 00:12:51,722 --> 00:12:54,722 Um, also, by the way, you look great. 352 00:12:54,791 --> 00:12:55,998 You look really good. 353 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,205 Last time, orange hair. 354 00:12:57,274 --> 00:12:58,554 This time, you know, turtleneck. 355 00:12:58,585 --> 00:13:00,412 Stop! Glasses, you look good. 356 00:13:00,481 --> 00:13:03,067 I look like fucking human shit right now. 357 00:13:03,136 --> 00:13:05,378 No, you look, you look beautiful.No. 358 00:13:05,447 --> 00:13:07,033 [Both chuckling] 359 00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:08,447 That's... I need gazebos! 360 00:13:08,516 --> 00:13:10,722 Uh, okay.45 along this corridor 361 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:12,171 and then another 65 there. 362 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,905 There should be directions. I got you, I got you. 363 00:13:13,929 --> 00:13:15,378 You can take your shirt... Yeah! 364 00:13:15,447 --> 00:13:17,895 What?! 365 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,895 [Laughing] 366 00:13:19,964 --> 00:13:21,481 You're... you're so bad. 367 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:23,136 Stop! 368 00:13:23,205 --> 00:13:25,722 [Laughing] 369 00:13:25,791 --> 00:13:26,998 Ooh, okay. 370 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,895 Are you gonna fuck my doorman? 371 00:13:28,964 --> 00:13:30,550 Shut up, Edmund! He's right there! 372 00:13:30,619 --> 00:13:31,929 Yo, Edmund, what's up? 373 00:13:31,998 --> 00:13:33,516 Hi... Daniel. 374 00:13:33,585 --> 00:13:34,619 You got a package. 375 00:13:35,895 --> 00:13:38,826 ♪♪ 376 00:13:38,895 --> 00:13:40,516 I don't know if you've ever 377 00:13:40,585 --> 00:13:42,067 had a ride in a convertible. 378 00:13:42,136 --> 00:13:44,309 I bought one on my 40th birthday. 379 00:13:44,378 --> 00:13:45,929 If you ever... 380 00:13:45,998 --> 00:13:47,516 I'm allergic to too much air. 381 00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:48,998 Yeah. 382 00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,481 Oh. Hi. 383 00:13:50,550 --> 00:13:51,722 Hey. 384 00:13:53,309 --> 00:13:55,274 I'm... I'm sorry again... [Grandma] Wally! 385 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,378 Ma? 386 00:13:57,447 --> 00:13:58,722 Is this rehab? 387 00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:01,205 Oh, I knew you were on drugs. 388 00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,447 What is it? 389 00:14:02,516 --> 00:14:05,033 Meth, shrooms...? No. Ma! 390 00:14:05,102 --> 00:14:06,102 Ice horse? Ma. 391 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,136 Crack dabs? 392 00:14:07,205 --> 00:14:09,688 If you say opium... What? 393 00:14:09,757 --> 00:14:11,205 ...I will slap the yellow out of you. 394 00:14:11,274 --> 00:14:13,998 Ma! What are you doing here? 395 00:14:14,067 --> 00:14:15,688 I'm glad that you're getting help 396 00:14:15,757 --> 00:14:17,550 from all these other losers. 397 00:14:17,619 --> 00:14:19,722 But why didn't you come to mefirst? 398 00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:22,964 Ma... this isn't rehab. 399 00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:26,481 It's a support group for single parents! 400 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:31,550 Oh, but you have that weird spoon. 401 00:14:31,619 --> 00:14:33,929 And the other night with all that screaming. 402 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:38,378 I was on a date, okay? 403 00:14:38,447 --> 00:14:39,895 With Brenda! 404 00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:41,836 I thought we weren't allowed to date in the group. 405 00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:44,722 Oh, Toby... no. 406 00:14:44,791 --> 00:14:47,826 Ma, Brenda gave me the spoon. 407 00:14:47,895 --> 00:14:49,309 And it's not a spoon, all right? 408 00:14:49,378 --> 00:14:51,240 It's a deep and meaningful art piece 409 00:14:51,309 --> 00:14:54,136 about self-expression and quiet chaos! 410 00:14:54,205 --> 00:14:56,033 Yes, thank you. 411 00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,205 You're welcome. 412 00:14:57,274 --> 00:14:58,929 So you're not on drugs? 413 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,516 No. 414 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,791 And I didn't tell you about the date 415 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:04,205 because I knew you would go crazy. 416 00:15:04,274 --> 00:15:05,722 I'm not going crazy! 417 00:15:05,791 --> 00:15:06,826 Hello. 418 00:15:06,895 --> 00:15:08,343 Hi. 419 00:15:08,412 --> 00:15:10,309 Are you divorced or is your husband dead? 420 00:15:10,378 --> 00:15:12,826 Uh... Oh, my God! 421 00:15:12,895 --> 00:15:15,964 Feel free to talk amongst yourselves. 422 00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:18,067 I'm really sorry about everything. 423 00:15:18,136 --> 00:15:19,688 No.I... 424 00:15:19,757 --> 00:15:22,378 I like you. 425 00:15:22,447 --> 00:15:23,860 I like you. 426 00:15:23,929 --> 00:15:25,516 Yeah? 427 00:15:25,585 --> 00:15:28,654 I-I just want a do-over, you know? 428 00:15:28,722 --> 00:15:31,585 Let's do it, yeah.Okay. 429 00:15:31,654 --> 00:15:35,964 The last few days have been really hard 430 00:15:36,033 --> 00:15:39,274 because my son is on drugs! 431 00:15:39,343 --> 00:15:41,447 [Sobbing hysterically] 432 00:15:41,516 --> 00:15:44,860 ♪♪ 433 00:15:44,929 --> 00:15:46,205 What's up, fam? 434 00:15:46,274 --> 00:15:48,585 This is absolutely Justin S.B. from "Ferbes." 435 00:15:48,654 --> 00:15:51,343 And we're 'bout to hit up the Scrubr launch party. 436 00:15:51,412 --> 00:15:52,998 Okay, if you saw this viral video, 437 00:15:53,067 --> 00:15:55,722 then you know it's gonna be absolutely spectacular. 438 00:15:55,791 --> 00:15:58,136 And what is this? 439 00:15:58,205 --> 00:16:01,171 [Ominous music plays] 440 00:16:08,688 --> 00:16:10,895 Okay, absolutely not. Let's go. 441 00:16:10,964 --> 00:16:12,136 Torch it. 442 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,102 [Camera shutters clicking] 443 00:16:14,171 --> 00:16:15,585 ♪♪ 444 00:16:15,654 --> 00:16:17,378 Get a photo of that sick girl. 445 00:16:17,447 --> 00:16:19,895 Ha-ha-ha, welcome to Scrubr! 446 00:16:19,964 --> 00:16:21,412 Um, where's the VIP tent? 447 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,585 Where's the bar? 448 00:16:22,654 --> 00:16:24,860 When do the Ladies Marmalade go on? 449 00:16:24,929 --> 00:16:26,343 Uh-huh. 450 00:16:26,412 --> 00:16:27,516 Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 451 00:16:27,585 --> 00:16:29,274 Jerry! Jerry! 452 00:16:29,343 --> 00:16:31,722 Okay, so, um, we're leaving. 453 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,319 No. No-no-no. No, we're gonna turn this around. 454 00:16:33,343 --> 00:16:35,181 We can turn this around. Stop! We can change it. 455 00:16:35,205 --> 00:16:36,929 We can make it better. We can make it good. 456 00:16:36,998 --> 00:16:38,481 Justin?! Please? No, no. No! 457 00:16:40,516 --> 00:16:42,067 There are no refunds! 458 00:16:42,136 --> 00:16:43,757 Burn it down! 459 00:16:43,826 --> 00:16:45,447 ♪♪ 460 00:16:45,516 --> 00:16:48,205 [crowd screaming] 461 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:49,964 Edmund, I can't do this. 462 00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:51,757 This isn't me. I have to go. 463 00:16:51,826 --> 00:16:53,826 Nora, come on, we're a team. We have to stay. 464 00:16:53,895 --> 00:16:56,343 [Sobbing] Oh, God. 465 00:16:56,412 --> 00:16:57,998 Oh, God... 466 00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,688 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God... 467 00:17:00,757 --> 00:17:02,895 Tom! Edmund! 468 00:17:02,964 --> 00:17:04,860 What the hell is going on? 469 00:17:04,929 --> 00:17:06,526 All right, Tom, I'm gonna get real with you. 470 00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:09,550 I never should have hired that marketing idiot 471 00:17:09,619 --> 00:17:12,585 to throw me this bullshit launch party. 472 00:17:12,654 --> 00:17:14,309 And I never should have lied to you about 473 00:17:14,378 --> 00:17:18,481 the money or the subscribers or how successful I was... 474 00:17:18,550 --> 00:17:20,343 or wasn't.Don't worry. 475 00:17:20,412 --> 00:17:22,171 I still believe in you. 476 00:17:22,240 --> 00:17:23,492 Everything's gonna be all right. 477 00:17:23,516 --> 00:17:24,516 Oh! 478 00:17:24,550 --> 00:17:25,826 [Banging] [Tom groaning] 479 00:17:25,895 --> 00:17:28,274 ♪♪ 480 00:17:28,343 --> 00:17:32,136 [Edmund sobbing] [siren wailing] 481 00:17:32,205 --> 00:17:34,757 [sobbing continues] 482 00:17:35,998 --> 00:17:39,240 ♪♪ 483 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,550 [Edmund sobbing] 484 00:17:46,378 --> 00:17:48,860 Oh, it's over. 485 00:17:48,929 --> 00:17:52,516 I'm done in Silicon Valley. 486 00:17:52,585 --> 00:17:54,343 [Monotone voice] Don't say that, Edmund. 487 00:17:54,412 --> 00:17:58,033 We promised a million users. 488 00:17:58,102 --> 00:17:59,860 You know how many we got? 489 00:17:59,929 --> 00:18:01,309 Eight! 490 00:18:01,378 --> 00:18:03,916 I coded a genius app, 491 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,894 and only eight people downloaded it! 492 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:10,231 You know, number eight is a lucky number 493 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,333 for the Chinese. 494 00:18:11,402 --> 00:18:14,299 Grandma, read the room! 495 00:18:14,368 --> 00:18:16,609 We didn't make any money. 496 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:19,471 We're the laughing stock of the Internet. 497 00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:22,076 My pits stink! 498 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,781 And now no investor will ever trust me ever again. 499 00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:27,747 [Theme music plays on TV] 500 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,334 I'm here reporting live from Flushing Meadows Park 501 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,980 from today's disastrous launch party 502 00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:34,715 for the new app Scrubr... [changes channel] 503 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:37,980 The hashtags PrayForFlushing, FlushingStrong, 504 00:18:38,049 --> 00:18:41,325 and ScrubrDisaster began trending almost immediately... 505 00:18:41,394 --> 00:18:44,083 [changes channel] Marketing guru Jerry Harrison 506 00:18:44,152 --> 00:18:46,911 put the blame on Scrubr cofounders Nora Lin 507 00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:50,463 and Edmund Lin, who could not be reached for comment. 508 00:18:50,532 --> 00:18:52,049 Of course we can't be reached. 509 00:18:52,118 --> 00:18:53,394 We've gone into hiding 510 00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:55,325 [muffled] forever! 511 00:18:55,394 --> 00:18:57,152 [Sobbing] Edmund? 512 00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,325 You're gonna have a stroke. 513 00:18:58,394 --> 00:18:59,842 Just chill out. [Groaning] 514 00:18:59,911 --> 00:19:02,670 They apparently never even secured a proper permit 515 00:19:02,739 --> 00:19:03,876 for the event, 516 00:19:03,945 --> 00:19:06,083 leading to what we've been told 517 00:19:06,152 --> 00:19:09,670 will be thousands of dollars in fines. 518 00:19:09,739 --> 00:19:12,325 For New York News, I'm Rosie Noesi. 519 00:19:12,394 --> 00:19:15,566 [Dramatic music plays] 520 00:19:15,635 --> 00:19:17,635 [speaking Chinese] 521 00:19:36,192 --> 00:19:37,710 It's happening. 522 00:19:37,779 --> 00:19:38,917 What's happening? 523 00:19:38,985 --> 00:19:41,330 Chinsent called. They want to buy out Scrubr! 524 00:19:41,399 --> 00:19:43,434 Dude, congrats. Have a Kinder egg to celebrate. 525 00:19:43,503 --> 00:19:45,744 No, listen, ya dumb. It's not just me. 526 00:19:45,813 --> 00:19:47,951 The wanna hire us. Why? 527 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,099 They saw Scrubr on the news, 528 00:19:49,123 --> 00:19:50,744 and now they wanna acqui-hire us... 529 00:19:50,813 --> 00:19:52,525 Acquire the tech and hire us. 530 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,443 Hey, what's going on? 531 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,891 Grandma, this huge Chinese tech company 532 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,098 wants to buy out all our investors, 533 00:19:59,167 --> 00:20:02,167 pay all our fines, and fly us to China, 534 00:20:02,236 --> 00:20:04,753 put us up in capital "A" apartments, 535 00:20:04,822 --> 00:20:06,029 and then pay us more money 536 00:20:06,098 --> 00:20:07,522 than we've ever made in our entire lives! 537 00:20:07,546 --> 00:20:08,684 Oh! 538 00:20:08,753 --> 00:20:12,512 Scrubr is back, honey! Gag! 539 00:20:12,581 --> 00:20:15,398 Ah, China! So exciting. 540 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,354 I've never even been on a plane before. 541 00:20:17,423 --> 00:20:18,812 Yeah, well, popping your plane hymen 542 00:20:18,836 --> 00:20:20,595 in first class sounds pretty good, right? 543 00:20:20,664 --> 00:20:22,216 No, that sounds disgusting. 544 00:20:22,285 --> 00:20:23,733 But yes, yes! 545 00:20:23,802 --> 00:20:25,423 So we're gonna live there? 546 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,630 Yeah, I literally just explained it 547 00:20:27,699 --> 00:20:29,595 to both of you. I... 548 00:20:29,664 --> 00:20:34,216 I left my country to go to a land of opportunity. 549 00:20:34,285 --> 00:20:35,802 Sounds like it's your turn. 550 00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:38,112 We're going to China! 551 00:20:38,181 --> 00:20:43,147 [Excited screaming] 552 00:20:47,078 --> 00:20:49,043 Curtain, end of act one of "Wicked." 553 00:20:49,112 --> 00:20:52,284 [Inhales, then exhales] 554 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:55,285 ♪♪ 555 00:21:16,030 --> 00:21:17,961 [man] Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina? 37382

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