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1
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[woman] Don't lie to me!
Why were you looking at her?
2
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,555
[man]
You know I care about you.
3
00:00:03,625 --> 00:00:05,215
[coughs]
4
00:00:05,652 --> 00:00:07,232
You all right, bao bao?
5
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,567
Yes, I'm recovering.
I don't need any Chinese medicine.
6
00:00:09,637 --> 00:00:11,157
I make you some soup!
7
00:00:11,227 --> 00:00:12,537
Oh, cool.
8
00:00:12,607 --> 00:00:16,187
Yeah, with Chinese
yams and ramen.
9
00:00:16,257 --> 00:00:18,497
It's good for you.
10
00:00:18,567 --> 00:00:20,397
And it's good for your skin.
11
00:00:20,467 --> 00:00:22,133
Uh, you know what?
I'm doing good for right now.
12
00:00:22,157 --> 00:00:25,297
'Cause I have Amer... I have
American stuff, thanks.
13
00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:27,847
What are you watching? "Love Island."
14
00:00:27,917 --> 00:00:30,917
It's episode 48 of 52,
season three.
15
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,397
Oh my God... what?
16
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,157
Those people are gutter trash.
17
00:00:35,227 --> 00:00:38,467
Hey! Hey!
Wha... wha... Grandma!
18
00:00:38,537 --> 00:00:39,947
You're never gonna get better
19
00:00:40,017 --> 00:00:42,057
by being on the phone
all the time.
20
00:00:42,127 --> 00:00:43,607
My life is
really hard right now.
21
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:44,957
Can you give me my phone please?
22
00:00:45,017 --> 00:00:47,297
You wanna hear
about a hard life?
23
00:00:47,367 --> 00:00:49,397
Let me tell you a story.
24
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:52,297
From, like, orally?
Like an oral story?
25
00:00:52,367 --> 00:00:54,677
It's the true story
26
00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:57,537
about how your Grandma
27
00:00:57,607 --> 00:00:59,847
met your Grandpa.
28
00:00:59,917 --> 00:01:02,747
Um, do I... I'm good
for now, or...
29
00:01:02,807 --> 00:01:04,437
Let's do this!
30
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:08,157
♪♪
31
00:01:16,257 --> 00:01:18,057
[man singing in Chinese]
32
00:01:18,127 --> 00:01:19,747
[Nora]
Oh, oh, no.
33
00:01:19,807 --> 00:01:22,087
Is this gonna be like
one of those Korean dramas?
34
00:01:22,157 --> 00:01:24,707
[Grandma]
You know it.
35
00:01:24,777 --> 00:01:27,087
[Nora] What?!
That... that's my title card?
36
00:01:27,157 --> 00:01:29,537
Why do you gotta put
my title card like that?
37
00:01:29,607 --> 00:01:31,297
Ah! They didn't
put my real name!
38
00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:32,917
[sneezing]
39
00:01:32,987 --> 00:01:35,567
[singing continues]
40
00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:39,917
♪♪
41
00:01:39,987 --> 00:01:43,127
Wait, wait-wait-wait.
That's supposed to be you?
42
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:45,607
Grandma, you were hot
and five-foot-ten?
43
00:01:45,677 --> 00:01:47,497
[Grandma]
Yeah, and I'm still hot.
44
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:50,017
Anyways, the story begins
45
00:01:50,087 --> 00:01:53,467
back on my family's estate
in rural China.
46
00:01:53,537 --> 00:01:57,467
It was 1965.
My family was wealthy.
47
00:01:57,537 --> 00:01:59,157
So I spent my days doing
48
00:01:59,227 --> 00:02:02,747
what all rich girls
like to do in 1965.
49
00:02:02,807 --> 00:02:04,637
Sit under a parasol
50
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:07,747
and stare at things
for a long time.
51
00:02:07,807 --> 00:02:10,437
It was nice to be rich.
52
00:02:10,497 --> 00:02:13,227
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Chen.
53
00:02:13,297 --> 00:02:14,637
[Nora]
You spoke English?
54
00:02:14,707 --> 00:02:16,187
[Grandma]
I spoke Chinese,
55
00:02:16,257 --> 00:02:19,437
but I'm translating
to make it easier for you.
56
00:02:19,497 --> 00:02:21,157
[Nora]
O... okay.
57
00:02:21,227 --> 00:02:24,227
[Grandma]
Life was good, until one day
58
00:02:24,297 --> 00:02:26,017
our garbage man...
59
00:02:28,677 --> 00:02:29,607
...dropped dead.
60
00:02:29,677 --> 00:02:30,917
[Nora]
Oh, shit!
61
00:02:30,987 --> 00:02:32,397
[Grandma]
Oh, it's okay.
62
00:02:32,467 --> 00:02:35,017
Because he was immediately
replaced by...
63
00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:36,877
[sensuous music]
64
00:02:36,947 --> 00:02:40,467
♪ Ooh... ♪
65
00:02:40,537 --> 00:02:41,637
♪♪
66
00:02:41,707 --> 00:02:42,753
[man, whispering]
Garbage Boy.
67
00:02:42,777 --> 00:02:46,777
♪ Oh yeah ♪
68
00:02:46,847 --> 00:02:50,777
♪ I'm cryin' out to you ♪
69
00:02:50,847 --> 00:02:52,607
♪ Baby ♪
70
00:02:52,677 --> 00:02:55,327
[Nora] Oh, my God, that is literally
so fucking gross right now.
71
00:02:55,397 --> 00:02:59,227
[Grandma]
No! Garbage Boy was so hot.
72
00:02:59,297 --> 00:03:02,497
All I wanted was to get
his attention.
73
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:05,707
♪ Now, pretty baby, ooh ♪
74
00:03:05,777 --> 00:03:07,497
♪ Tell me ♪
75
00:03:07,567 --> 00:03:11,807
♪ Do you like what you see?
'Cause you know... ♪
76
00:03:11,877 --> 00:03:14,057
You done with that milk?
77
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,057
I am now.
78
00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:18,087
There's still a bit left.
79
00:03:18,157 --> 00:03:22,707
♪ Something's
coming over me ♪
80
00:03:22,777 --> 00:03:26,227
♪ Is it love? ♪
81
00:03:26,297 --> 00:03:28,747
Beautiful watch...
82
00:03:28,807 --> 00:03:31,017
...for a beautiful girl. This old thing?
83
00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:33,607
It's a family heirloom,
I just...
84
00:03:33,677 --> 00:03:37,227
[Grandma] And just like
that, he took my breath away.
85
00:03:37,297 --> 00:03:41,467
I knew right then that I
needed to be with that boy.
86
00:03:41,537 --> 00:03:43,497
[Nora] The kid that
chugs your old milk?
87
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:45,877
[Grandma]
Oh, you sound like my mother.
88
00:03:45,947 --> 00:03:50,297
She completely disapproved
of me dating Garbage Boy.
89
00:03:50,367 --> 00:03:52,847
[speaking Chinese]
90
00:03:55,637 --> 00:03:57,467
I don't wanna be
with a rich boy.
91
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,397
Garbage Boy is not trash!
92
00:03:59,467 --> 00:04:02,367
[speaking Chinese]
93
00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:04,327
Milk doesn't even expire.
94
00:04:04,397 --> 00:04:06,257
♪♪
95
00:04:06,327 --> 00:04:10,707
[Grandma] But my mother's disapproval
only made me want him more.
96
00:04:10,777 --> 00:04:12,157
♪♪
97
00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:15,157
Garbage Boy and I exchanged
notes in secret.
98
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:22,877
One day, I was able to sneak
away for just long enough.
99
00:04:22,947 --> 00:04:25,877
[woman singing in Chinese]
100
00:04:25,947 --> 00:04:28,917
♪♪
101
00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:35,103
[Nora] That's a whole lotta lip
there, Grandma.
102
00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:37,677
[Grandma, chucking]
Yes, we didn't use tongue
103
00:04:37,747 --> 00:04:40,747
because it wasn't of the era.
104
00:04:40,807 --> 00:04:43,397
So then y'all smashed,
Had a couple babies.
105
00:04:43,467 --> 00:04:46,397
Here I am now, um...
I gotta check my Weibo.
106
00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:48,777
Hey! This story's not over!
107
00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:52,397
Things were going really well.
108
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,397
Until 1966.
109
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:58,297
It was the start
of the Cultural Revolution.
110
00:04:58,367 --> 00:05:01,497
A time when rich people
and intellectuals were forced
111
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:05,327
by the government to destroy
any sign of wealth and status.
112
00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:09,227
Even though my family was
wealthy and therefore targets,
113
00:05:09,297 --> 00:05:11,947
I still had other
things on my mind.
114
00:05:12,017 --> 00:05:14,467
♪♪
115
00:05:23,567 --> 00:05:25,057
[gasps]What up, girl?
116
00:05:25,127 --> 00:05:26,497
It me, Shu Shu.
117
00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:29,607
[man, whispering]
Shu Shu.
118
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,497
[Nora]
You mean, Shu Shu, Shu Shu?
119
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:33,607
The one who couldn't
go to Atlantic City?
120
00:05:33,677 --> 00:05:35,987
[Grandma]
Yeah, my best friend from China.
121
00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:38,777
[wind gusting]We told
each other everything.
122
00:05:38,847 --> 00:05:40,877
Hello, Best Friend Shu Shu.
123
00:05:40,947 --> 00:05:42,847
Sorry for the wide smile.
124
00:05:42,917 --> 00:05:45,327
I'm just... so in love.
125
00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,777
Oh, really?
With who?
126
00:05:47,847 --> 00:05:50,777
The boy who takes
out our garbage.
127
00:05:50,847 --> 00:05:52,847
[whispers] Garbage Boy.
Oh, Garbage Boy.
128
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:54,917
He is fine.
Saw him rip apart
129
00:05:54,987 --> 00:05:57,847
a cardboard box once.
No scissors, shit was sick.
130
00:05:57,917 --> 00:05:59,087
[sighs]
131
00:05:59,157 --> 00:06:01,877
Anyway, enough about me.
How are you, Shu Shu?
132
00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:04,437
I'm in love, too. With who?
133
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,057
Mao Zedong.
134
00:06:07,127 --> 00:06:09,537
Chairman Mao?
Was he hot?
135
00:06:09,607 --> 00:06:10,917
Shu Shu thought so.
136
00:06:10,987 --> 00:06:12,777
Chairman Mao's so smart.
137
00:06:12,847 --> 00:06:14,807
He's got this awesome
place out in the countryside
138
00:06:14,847 --> 00:06:16,747
called the village.
Hmm.
139
00:06:16,807 --> 00:06:18,677
We're all going to be, like...
140
00:06:18,747 --> 00:06:23,297
joining the working class,
working the fields.
141
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,677
It'll be rustic AF, bitch.
142
00:06:25,747 --> 00:06:28,807
I don't know,
I don't really like fields.
143
00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:31,777
You know, and the rows of
plants really freak me out.
144
00:06:31,847 --> 00:06:35,397
Besides, the love
of my life is here.
145
00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:38,367
Fine. Suit yourself.
146
00:06:38,437 --> 00:06:40,567
More rural "D" for me.
147
00:06:43,297 --> 00:06:46,747
[Grandma] Things would only get
more complicated from there.
148
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:50,397
My neighbors, the Chens,
were caught with valuables.
149
00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:53,127
So the Red Guard,
Mao's law enforcers
150
00:06:53,187 --> 00:06:56,677
made them leave the city
to work in the countryside
151
00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,917
which meant we had to throw away
all our valuables.
152
00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:02,257
- [Nora] Everything?
- [Grandma] Everything!
153
00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:06,087
Even the expensive China that was
in our family for generations.
154
00:07:06,157 --> 00:07:09,327
My parents didn't want to show
any signs of our wealth.
155
00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:12,847
Otherwise, we'd be forced
to go to the deep countryside.
156
00:07:12,917 --> 00:07:14,847
Work on a farm.[loud shattering]
157
00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:17,273
[Nora] Like Paris Hilton and Nicole
Richie did on "The Simple Life?"
158
00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:19,187
[Grandma]
Yeah! Just like that!
159
00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:22,567
I didn't want to do it,
but we had to.
160
00:07:22,637 --> 00:07:26,537
I just figured with more trash,
comes more garbage.
161
00:07:26,607 --> 00:07:30,987
And with more garbage
comes Garbage Boy.
162
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:33,922
But still, we couldn't
avoid the Red Guard.
163
00:07:33,947 --> 00:07:35,467
Is that a valuable wrist watch?
164
00:07:36,987 --> 00:07:39,677
No, no it's not. Destroy it at once!
165
00:07:39,747 --> 00:07:42,537
You can't.
Please, this is the one...
166
00:07:42,607 --> 00:07:44,163
This is the one
Garbage Boy complimented...
167
00:07:44,187 --> 00:07:45,497
♪♪
168
00:07:45,567 --> 00:07:48,807
[distorted laughter]
169
00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:53,397
[moaning in slow motion]
170
00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:55,327
[glass shattering]
171
00:07:57,367 --> 00:07:59,847
[Grandma]
And that wasn't the worst part.
172
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:02,917
My refusal to immediately
give up the watch
173
00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:05,227
was considered
an act of defiance.
174
00:08:05,304 --> 00:08:07,404
We were now targets
of Chairman Mao.
175
00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:09,437
We needed to flee.
176
00:08:09,497 --> 00:08:11,227
[shouting in Chinese]
177
00:08:11,297 --> 00:08:14,567
No, I can't!
178
00:08:14,637 --> 00:08:16,087
[whispers]
Garbage Boy.
179
00:08:16,157 --> 00:08:17,783
[Grandma] My parents
paid a local smuggler
180
00:08:17,807 --> 00:08:19,707
for safe passage to Hong Kong.
181
00:08:19,777 --> 00:08:22,467
And from there,
we travelled to America.
182
00:08:22,537 --> 00:08:24,567
And we had to leave right away.
183
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,424
But I couldn't go without
telling Garbage Boy.
184
00:08:30,087 --> 00:08:31,917
[Nora]
Wait! Wait-wait-wait!
185
00:08:31,987 --> 00:08:33,607
So you left and you
never talked to him?!
186
00:08:33,677 --> 00:08:34,987
Did you get his number?
187
00:08:35,057 --> 00:08:37,127
[Grandma]
Shh! Just listen.
188
00:08:37,187 --> 00:08:39,297
[rodent chittering]
189
00:08:39,382 --> 00:08:41,932
[wind gusting]
190
00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:44,947
♪♪
191
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:52,367
What happens next?
192
00:08:52,437 --> 00:08:53,642
Well...
193
00:08:54,059 --> 00:08:57,339
I met a new man...
194
00:08:58,299 --> 00:08:59,889
...in America.
195
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,441
[bird screeches]What?!
196
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:04,144
[Grandma] I finally made
it to New York City.
197
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:07,939
I forged a nursing degree
and soon had a job
198
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:10,994
at Flushing West Hospital
where I made friends
199
00:09:11,064 --> 00:09:12,802
with other renowned immigrants.
200
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,322
[exclaims] Another one
bites the dust.
201
00:09:14,392 --> 00:09:15,392
What?
202
00:09:15,452 --> 00:09:17,452
Another eligible
bachelor, married.
203
00:09:17,522 --> 00:09:19,422
Reading the wedding
announcements again?
204
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:21,212
Of course!
A girl's got to find
205
00:09:21,282 --> 00:09:22,942
a man and a green card somehow.
206
00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:25,112
I was a diplomat in Haiti.
207
00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:26,942
I can't even get
a second date here.
208
00:09:27,012 --> 00:09:28,252
America is crazy.
209
00:09:28,322 --> 00:09:30,942
He's a mailman.
Spending that much money?
210
00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:32,872
[speaking Spanish]
211
00:09:32,942 --> 00:09:34,452
In Puerto Rico,
he's what we call
212
00:09:34,522 --> 00:09:36,942
a squash that is showing off.
213
00:09:37,012 --> 00:09:39,972
Probably because he has
a very small squash, hey?
214
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:43,322
[all laughing]
215
00:09:43,392 --> 00:09:44,392
[sighing]
216
00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:45,568
How about you, Young Grandma?
217
00:09:45,592 --> 00:09:47,632
Is there anyone
you've been eyeing?
218
00:09:47,702 --> 00:09:49,592
No, not really.
219
00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:51,452
[Grandma]
And then I saw him.
220
00:09:51,522 --> 00:09:53,522
♪ Let's do this for real ♪
221
00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:56,042
♪♪
222
00:09:56,112 --> 00:10:00,492
♪ I know you wanna
feel, baby ♪
223
00:10:00,562 --> 00:10:02,872
♪ Wanna take you
off the grill ♪
224
00:10:02,942 --> 00:10:05,352
♪ Take for the chill ♪
225
00:10:05,422 --> 00:10:07,902
♪ Do this thing for real ♪
226
00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:10,452
[man, whispering]
Doc Hottie.
227
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,802
♪♪
228
00:10:12,872 --> 00:10:15,282
It's very unsanitary.
Yeah.
229
00:10:15,352 --> 00:10:17,762
But Grandma liked it.
230
00:10:17,832 --> 00:10:19,252
[Grandma]
Over the next few weeks,
231
00:10:19,322 --> 00:10:22,802
Doc Hottie and I were
inseparable.
232
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,522
He had everything
I could have wanted.
233
00:10:25,592 --> 00:10:28,422
Money, cars, charm.
234
00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:31,802
It was the American Dream.
235
00:10:31,872 --> 00:10:34,522
[Nora] Grandma, what kind of...
what kind of effects are these?
236
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,352
[Grandma] It's a K Drama.
We don't have the budget.
237
00:10:37,422 --> 00:10:38,972
[Nora]
Who... who is we?
238
00:10:39,042 --> 00:10:42,762
[Grandma] Everything was
going splendidly... until...
239
00:10:42,832 --> 00:10:46,252
♪♪
240
00:10:46,322 --> 00:10:49,252
Babe, aren't you gonna
pick up your trash?
241
00:10:49,322 --> 00:10:50,468
Oh, don't worry about it, babe.
242
00:10:50,492 --> 00:10:52,318
Someone will pick
it up, come on.
243
00:10:53,212 --> 00:10:54,802
♪♪
244
00:10:54,872 --> 00:10:58,452
Babe... babe.
245
00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:01,870
[echoing]
Babe? Babe?
246
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,305
Look at me. Ice cream's melting.
Come on, babe.
247
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,020
[woman]
Look out.
248
00:11:06,090 --> 00:11:09,160
[all screaming]Oh, God, no!
249
00:11:09,230 --> 00:11:13,810
[piano keys striking,
wood splintering]
250
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,430
[Nora] A piano fell on his head?
That didn't happen.
251
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,570
It's real. Did Doc Hottie die?
252
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,640
No, but something
even worse happened.
253
00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:26,190
What? He survived.
254
00:11:26,260 --> 00:11:29,710
[gasping]
255
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:31,950
Sweetie.
256
00:11:32,020 --> 00:11:34,610
Please don't be ugly.
Please don't be ugly.
257
00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:39,300
[exhales]
258
00:11:39,370 --> 00:11:41,470
Oh, thank God.
259
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:43,430
Who are you?
260
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:45,230
It's me.
261
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,540
Your girlfriend, Young Grandma.
262
00:11:47,610 --> 00:11:51,190
I don't... I don't know
why you are.
263
00:11:51,260 --> 00:11:52,780
♪♪
264
00:11:52,850 --> 00:11:54,570
[sighs deeply]
265
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,430
[Grandma]
Doc Hottie had amnesia.
266
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,090
[gasps]
Oh, my God!
267
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,990
But all your piggyback rides?
Viewing the State of Liberty?
268
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:05,810
I know.
It was horrible.
269
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,810
[Grandma] I just wanted to
get home and cry forever.
270
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,020
♪♪
271
00:12:11,090 --> 00:12:13,430
58th and Main, please.
272
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,526
Right the way, ma'am.
273
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:18,330
Garbage Boy?!
274
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,506
[Nora]
What? He's in America now?
275
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,090
But I thought your note
flew away?
276
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,020
[Grandma] Oh, it did.
But it must've been fate.
277
00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:26,710
Or because the local smuggler
278
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,160
always brought people
into Queens first.
279
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,710
Garbage Boy and I
started talking
280
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:34,060
like no time had passed.
281
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,850
It was magical.
282
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,950
We ended up spending
the whole night together.
283
00:12:39,020 --> 00:12:40,260
[Nora]
Doing what?
284
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,370
- [Grandma] Just holding hands.
- [Nora] No!
285
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,330
[Grandma]
We threaded our fingers,
286
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,710
then moonwalked across
each other's palms.
287
00:12:47,780 --> 00:12:50,540
We scissored so slowly.
288
00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:53,810
I did the "farting rocket
into the hole."
289
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,610
We slapped each other's hands
till they were raw.
290
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,920
Up and down and up and down.
291
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:03,090
Oh, Lord, Lord, he blew my mind!
292
00:13:05,020 --> 00:13:07,880
Grandma!
You don't have to...
293
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,780
I don't need to see...
Grandma, stop![chuckles]
294
00:13:10,850 --> 00:13:13,020
It was a wonderful night.
295
00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:15,400
I couldn't wait
to tell my friends.
296
00:13:15,470 --> 00:13:17,780
Oh, that is so romantic.
297
00:13:17,850 --> 00:13:21,114
I'm so happy for you.
What was his name again?
298
00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:22,300
Garbage Boy.
299
00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:24,330
Wait. Garbage Boy.
300
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,973
I have heard that name.
301
00:13:27,780 --> 00:13:31,260
Oh! He is getting...
married!
302
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,229
Oh, hell no!
303
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,562
What'd you do with
that man slut Garbage Boy?
304
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,510
I mean, how did you
get past that
305
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:41,030
It was a dark time in my life.
306
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:44,340
My only happiness was in
this new hip flavor,
307
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:46,768
Diet Neapolitan.
308
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,270
I couldn't stop thinking
about Garbage Boy.
309
00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:53,410
Everywhere I looked,
there he was.
310
00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:56,030
And he called every day.[telephone ringing]
311
00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,380
[Nora] You didn't answer
it, though, right, Grandma?
312
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,510
'Cause... 'cause
fuck that dude, right?
313
00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,550
[Grandma]
Exactly. Fuck that dude.
314
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:06,200
[telephone ringing]But I'll admit,
he was persistent.
315
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,240
[knocking on door]I said I didn't...
316
00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:11,960
Young Grandma.
Doc Hottie.
317
00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:15,380
My memory's back.
I'm cured of my amnesia.
318
00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:18,890
I remember our love.
I remember everything.
319
00:14:21,890 --> 00:14:23,410
Let's get married.
320
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,170
♪♪
321
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:29,480
What? How many goddamn plot twists
you got in this story, Grandma?
322
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:33,960
♪♪
323
00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,860
You've been through a lot.
324
00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:37,860
Weeping because of my amnesia.
325
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:40,380
You don't have to
give me an answer now.
326
00:14:42,690 --> 00:14:44,720
I'm going to the hospital.
327
00:14:44,790 --> 00:14:46,960
They're letting me
do surgery again.
328
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:50,665
This new procedure
called... kidney transplant.
329
00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:53,240
Oh.
330
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,690
Find me when you're ready.
331
00:14:56,790 --> 00:15:00,170
[Nora] Wow.
So... so you said yes, right?
332
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,340
[Grandma]
I didn't know what to do.
333
00:15:02,410 --> 00:15:04,510
Doc Hottie wanted to marry me,
334
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:08,000
but I couldn't stop thinking
about Garbage Boy.
335
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,440
And Camren and Lehana
were no help.
336
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,790
Garbage Boy's
the love of your life.
337
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,410
You can stop his wedding.
338
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,030
Ah, but Doc Hottie
will hook you up.
339
00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:18,310
He's rich.
Your parents adore him.
340
00:15:18,380 --> 00:15:19,930
It's a no brainer.
Marry him.
341
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,650
[Grandma]
I was lost.
342
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:24,130
Until guess who
walked through the door.
343
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,860
What up?[Nora]
What?!
344
00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:28,270
It me, Shu Shu.
345
00:15:28,340 --> 00:15:30,960
In America![both laughing]
346
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,030
Doop doop boop boop!
347
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,410
[both, laughing]
Boop!
348
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,100
[Nora]
How did Shu Shu get there?
349
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:38,030
It was a crazy story.
350
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:41,070
[spotlights switching on,
dramatic music swelling]
351
00:15:41,130 --> 00:15:45,380
♪♪
352
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:49,650
[Shu Shu] So, I stayed in China
and ended up in the countryside.
353
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,410
But I quickly learned
that I did not belong there.
354
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:56,200
The work was hard.
I did not like manual labor.
355
00:15:56,270 --> 00:15:59,200
And there were so many bugs.
356
00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:00,620
[thunder rumbling]
357
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:04,510
One, I got caught in a mudslide
and was washed away.
358
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:07,130
Even though I still loved
Chairman Mao,
359
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,340
I decided that I needed
to get out of China.
360
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:12,790
So I swam to Hong Kong.
361
00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:15,620
Almost getting eating
by sharks along the way.
362
00:16:15,690 --> 00:16:17,270
Nooo!
363
00:16:17,340 --> 00:16:19,729
And then I made it to New York.
364
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:23,960
So, that's my update.
What about you?
365
00:16:24,030 --> 00:16:27,550
[Grandma] I told Shu Shu everything
about Doc Hottie and Garbage Boy,
366
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:31,690
except I didn't have puppets,
so my story was way more boring.
367
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,130
So what do I do?
368
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,310
We did not come to this
country to settle.
369
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:37,100
I got washed in a mudslide
370
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,930
and fought 75 sharks
to get here.
371
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:41,170
You are too hot and too smart
372
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,200
to be anything less than
the Plan "A" bitch you are.
373
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,650
Yeah. So what do you want?
374
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:50,240
♪♪
375
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,137
Love.
Then go...
376
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,248
...get...
377
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,510
...it.
378
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:58,890
You're right.
379
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,820
I'm gonna get what I want.
380
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,690
Wait, so who are
you gonna choose?
381
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,510
Doctor Dick or Garbage Dick?
382
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:11,340
Either way, get that
nasty shit, girl!
383
00:17:11,410 --> 00:17:13,510
Doc Hottie.
384
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,820
You came.
I knew you would.
385
00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:18,070
Actually, I came be
to give you this.
386
00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:19,480
Uh...
387
00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:21,165
Uh...
388
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,380
Why? I think you're wonderful.
389
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,480
And a doctor and for all the
reasons why I should love you.
390
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:30,380
I'm just in love
with someone else.
391
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,927
But... Sorry.
392
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,890
No.
I'm so sorry.
393
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,790
Young Grandma...
Young Grandma!
394
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:40,820
[monitor flat-lining]
395
00:17:44,550 --> 00:17:46,315
Stop the wedding.
396
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:49,252
Young Grandma.
397
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:51,946
♪♪
398
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,226
Ohh!
399
00:17:53,296 --> 00:17:54,916
It's not what it looks like.
400
00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:57,466
Oh, thank God. She's my sister.
401
00:17:57,536 --> 00:17:59,620
[both]
What?! That's fuckin' gross.
402
00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,380
It's not what it is sounds like.
403
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:03,146
My sister was sponsored
to come to the States
404
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,450
by the Lao family here.
405
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,170
They were only allowed to
sponsor their own family, though,
406
00:18:08,195 --> 00:18:09,855
so she lived here
as their daughter.
407
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,160
She even took on
their last name.
408
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:13,190
Then in order
for me to come over,
409
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,600
we were to be married.
410
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,600
The marriage is just
for citizenship, though.
411
00:18:16,670 --> 00:18:18,500
We're divorced immediately
412
00:18:18,570 --> 00:18:20,136
and then we'll be free
to live our lives.
413
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,430
Wow, that sounds like
a really weird loophole.
414
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,290
I know, but it's true.
It's why I've been calling.
415
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,249
Ever since that night,
I've been trying to explain.
416
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,525
Mmm-mm-mm, no!
417
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:32,086
What could he possibly say
to make this okay?
418
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,471
Hold on.
419
00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:37,183
I've been meaning
to give this back to you.
420
00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:40,421
Ohh! It's my watch.
421
00:18:40,491 --> 00:18:42,561
But it was completely trashed.
422
00:18:42,631 --> 00:18:44,391
Not all trash is garbage.
423
00:18:44,461 --> 00:18:46,391
[Nora] Oh, hell
yeah, Garbage Boy!
424
00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:48,686
After the Red Guard
threw it away,
425
00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,161
I spent years fixing it.
426
00:18:50,231 --> 00:18:52,911
I knew that...
I had to get it back to you.
427
00:18:52,981 --> 00:18:54,161
Where it belonged.
428
00:18:54,231 --> 00:18:57,671
A beautiful watch
for a beautiful girl.
429
00:18:59,291 --> 00:19:01,191
Go marry your sister.
430
00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:04,121
♪♪
431
00:19:04,191 --> 00:19:07,229
[officiant] I now pronounce
you Mr. and Mrs. Lin.
432
00:19:07,591 --> 00:19:10,241
[cheering and applause]
433
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,671
♪♪
434
00:19:17,541 --> 00:19:19,825
Garbage Boy was Grandpa?
435
00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:23,679
This was taken
on my wedding day.
436
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,830
Oh, wow.
437
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,682
You know, I thought
my life was hard.
438
00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,637
Well, life can be hard,
but it's much easier
439
00:19:29,707 --> 00:19:31,877
when you have
something you love.
440
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:33,839
Yeah.
441
00:19:34,127 --> 00:19:37,057
All right, time for bed.
442
00:19:37,127 --> 00:19:38,703
And here.
443
00:19:39,437 --> 00:19:41,187
For being such a good listener,
444
00:19:41,257 --> 00:19:42,947
you can have your phone back.
445
00:19:43,017 --> 00:19:45,257
I... I'm feeling I don't
even need my phone.
446
00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:49,187
[Grandma chuckles]You know, that was
a riveting tale.
447
00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:53,157
♪♪
448
00:19:53,227 --> 00:19:54,677
I love you, Grandma.
449
00:19:54,747 --> 00:19:58,187
Good night, bao bao.
I love you too.
450
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,595
♪ What up, y'all?
It me, Shu Shu ♪
451
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,890
♪ Here's a little bit
of old school for ya ♪
452
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,890
♪ It goes a little
something like this ♪
453
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:10,976
♪ I always try to be
the flyest chick on the block ♪
454
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,960
♪ The best communist
with the cattle stock ♪
455
00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:15,240
♪ So that's when I had
this bright idea ♪
456
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:17,346
♪ Hit the farm for a month,
no, the farm for a year ♪
457
00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:19,440
♪ The farm is lit
'cause the party's here ♪
458
00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:21,340
♪ Making it rain
like Chinese New Year ♪
459
00:20:21,410 --> 00:20:23,480
♪ Walking around
like "Who's that woman?" ♪
460
00:20:23,550 --> 00:20:25,410
♪ Everybody do it
like Shu Shu can ♪
461
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,370
♪ First on the farm.
You know that's me ♪
462
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,410
♪ But then a mudslide
like a freaking movie ♪
463
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,440
♪ Wait, there are bugs now
biting my head ♪
464
00:20:31,510 --> 00:20:33,486
♪ Then I knew this ain't cool,
so this is what I said ♪
465
00:20:33,510 --> 00:20:35,720
♪ People, this is hella work ♪
466
00:20:35,790 --> 00:20:37,480
♪ Anyone got a plow? ♪
467
00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:39,410
♪ Shit, I really gotta leave ♪
468
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:41,820
♪ What, huh, say it again ♪
469
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:43,960
♪ Na na na na hey ♪
470
00:20:44,030 --> 00:20:46,130
♪ Na na na na oh ♪
471
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:50,000
♪ Come on, here I go,
ha ha, I'm over this ♪
472
00:20:50,060 --> 00:20:52,170
♪ Na na na na ♪
473
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,170
♪ Na na na na ♪
474
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,310
♪♪
475
00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:58,130
♪ Na ♪♪
476
00:21:01,750 --> 00:21:04,720
♪♪
477
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,680
[man] Who the
[bleep] is Awkwafina?
33881
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