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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,363 --> 00:00:03,858 Okay, folks, you might want to put on some sunscreen. 2 00:00:03,901 --> 00:00:06,989 Up this high, the trees start to thin out. 3 00:00:07,032 --> 00:00:08,512 Oh, this might be a good place for a picture. 4 00:00:08,554 --> 00:00:09,611 Oh, let me go behind that rock. 5 00:00:09,654 --> 00:00:11,008 I'll change into my next look. 6 00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:12,066 Another one? 7 00:00:12,107 --> 00:00:14,392 He has to. His Instagram follower demands it. 8 00:00:14,434 --> 00:00:15,238 Eagle! 9 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,719 Oh, wait, false alarm. 10 00:00:16,761 --> 00:00:18,242 It's just a plastic bag in a tree. 11 00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:19,003 Eagle! 12 00:00:19,045 --> 00:00:20,483 Nope. Sorry. 13 00:00:20,526 --> 00:00:21,542 Bag fell. 14 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:23,910 Every winter, 15 00:00:23,952 --> 00:00:26,236 I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies... 16 00:00:26,279 --> 00:00:28,182 specifically to see a bald eagle. 17 00:00:28,225 --> 00:00:29,959 So far, no luck. 18 00:00:30,002 --> 00:00:33,302 This year, my buddies bailed... back spasm, cracked hip. 19 00:00:33,344 --> 00:00:36,178 And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair. 20 00:00:36,221 --> 00:00:37,912 I was all set to go solo, 21 00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,620 when those three tagalongs invited themselves. 22 00:00:40,662 --> 00:00:42,185 They invaded my territory 23 00:00:42,228 --> 00:00:44,723 like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers. 24 00:00:44,765 --> 00:00:46,923 Darned if I didn't feel like a bay-breasted warbler 25 00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:50,391 horning in on Jay's trip, but Gloria made us go. 26 00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:51,873 She was worried about my dad 27 00:00:51,914 --> 00:00:53,776 being out in the woods alone at his age, 28 00:00:53,819 --> 00:00:56,398 so she... she gently nudged us to join him. 29 00:00:56,441 --> 00:00:58,979 Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t... 30 00:00:59,022 --> 00:01:00,954 Hey, Dad, uh, whatcha doin' this weekend? 31 00:01:01,048 --> 00:01:03,633 - Ah, little nature trip. - Oh! Sounds like fun. 32 00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:04,521 - Count us in! - Yes. 33 00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,424 Actually, I was looking for a little alone time... 34 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:09,978 Hey! Am I the only one with bald eagles on the brain? 35 00:01:10,803 --> 00:01:12,305 You know what? I think in about 10 minutes, 36 00:01:12,347 --> 00:01:15,519 the light's gonna be perfect for my "Afternoon Adventurer" look. 37 00:01:15,562 --> 00:01:17,593 Okay, uh, before we head deeper into the woods, 38 00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:20,977 I should warn you folks that there's been several bear sightings in the area. 39 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:23,261 - So if you happen to have any food with you... - Got it! 40 00:01:26,096 --> 00:01:29,691 I was going to say you can store it in this bear box... here. 41 00:01:29,734 --> 00:01:30,707 Oh. Um, okay. 42 00:01:30,748 --> 00:01:32,272 Well, then, talk amongst yourselves. 43 00:01:32,313 --> 00:01:33,710 It could take me a while 44 00:01:33,752 --> 00:01:35,782 to find where my manly heave sent that heavy... 45 00:01:35,825 --> 00:01:37,940 Ah! Here it is. Someone must've heaved it back. 46 00:01:37,982 --> 00:01:39,330 Thank you! 47 00:01:53,897 --> 00:01:55,112 Hello! 48 00:01:55,190 --> 00:01:57,640 Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming. 49 00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:58,946 It's gonna be such a fun girls' night... 50 00:01:58,989 --> 00:02:01,687 drinking wine, planning the nursery. 51 00:02:01,731 --> 00:02:02,993 Okay, I was going to surprise you, 52 00:02:03,037 --> 00:02:05,909 but I can't wait anymore. 53 00:02:05,953 --> 00:02:09,826 It's a handmade mobile of great women in history! 54 00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:11,393 Eleanor Roosevelt, 55 00:02:11,436 --> 00:02:12,263 Rosa Parks! 56 00:02:12,307 --> 00:02:13,308 Ohh! 57 00:02:13,351 --> 00:02:15,963 I just hope it goes with the theme that Dylan wants for the room. 58 00:02:16,006 --> 00:02:17,747 Are any of these women important in the fields 59 00:02:17,791 --> 00:02:19,705 of fire trucks or unicorns? 60 00:02:19,749 --> 00:02:20,550 Oh! 61 00:02:20,594 --> 00:02:22,552 How perfect is this? 62 00:02:22,596 --> 00:02:27,339 They delivered the crib, and I know just the crew of handy honeys 63 00:02:27,383 --> 00:02:28,732 to help me put it together. 64 00:02:28,776 --> 00:02:30,647 Uh, not now, Mom. I've had the worst day. 65 00:02:30,691 --> 00:02:31,648 Me, too. 66 00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:32,867 Quick, start crying. 67 00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:34,869 We need to derail her enthusiasm before she's... 68 00:02:34,912 --> 00:02:36,653 Unh! Too late. 69 00:02:36,697 --> 00:02:37,915 She's dancing. 70 00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:40,178 Way to rock it, girlfriend! 71 00:02:41,136 --> 00:02:43,051 I cannot deny it anymore. 72 00:02:43,094 --> 00:02:45,880 I am turning into a white woman. 73 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,536 Is there a problem, girlfriends? 74 00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:52,016 Spin class was canceled! 75 00:02:52,628 --> 00:02:53,452 No! 76 00:02:53,496 --> 00:02:55,280 What are we gonna do with our day? 77 00:02:55,324 --> 00:02:56,760 "When In Doubt... 78 00:02:56,804 --> 00:02:57,805 Brunch." 79 00:02:57,848 --> 00:02:59,371 Where's the nearest place that serves kale 80 00:02:59,415 --> 00:03:01,286 and also has a pun in its name? 81 00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,593 There's an Underground Kale-Road down the street! 82 00:03:03,637 --> 00:03:05,943 - Let's go! - Thank God. 83 00:03:05,987 --> 00:03:07,815 I've gotten soft lately. 84 00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:10,121 I think I've lost my Colombian edge. 85 00:03:10,165 --> 00:03:12,689 I think we'll all feel better if we accomplish something. 86 00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:13,864 Yes. Unlike Jay. 87 00:03:13,908 --> 00:03:17,694 He's been going on these hunting trips for 20 years, 88 00:03:17,738 --> 00:03:21,045 and not once has he brought home a bald eagle! 89 00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:26,703 Oh, God. 90 00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:28,270 Hendrix couldn't read music, 91 00:03:28,313 --> 00:03:29,967 Shaq couldn't make free throws, 92 00:03:30,011 --> 00:03:32,796 and I have a little trouble visualizing space and scale. 93 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,146 So, I think this closet design gives us everything we need 94 00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:36,757 in a tight, residential space. 95 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,758 Yeah. Very clever. 96 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:38,976 Take a walk-through. 97 00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:40,935 Does the flow make sense? 98 00:03:40,978 --> 00:03:41,892 Well, um... 99 00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:44,373 I would get out of the shower 100 00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:46,984 and throw my clothes in the hamper here, 101 00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:48,551 pick out an outfit, and then get dressed right here. 102 00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:51,423 You just threw your clothes in the fireplace 103 00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:53,121 and got dressed in front of the picture window. 104 00:03:53,164 --> 00:03:56,428 Well, you have your morning routine, Mia. 105 00:03:56,472 --> 00:03:58,387 I have mine. 106 00:03:59,225 --> 00:04:01,303 All right, let's get this over with. 107 00:04:01,346 --> 00:04:02,870 Mom, where do we start? 108 00:04:02,913 --> 00:04:03,823 Um... 109 00:04:03,853 --> 00:04:06,961 Maybe Mommy just needs some cougar juice! 110 00:04:08,105 --> 00:04:09,920 What's wrong with me? 111 00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:12,616 Watch your step, folks. 112 00:04:12,654 --> 00:04:15,578 Some of the terrain gets a little tricky on this part of the hike. 113 00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:16,753 - Oh. Good. - I thought I'd changed 114 00:04:16,797 --> 00:04:19,538 into my "Remote Trailhead" look too soon. 115 00:04:19,582 --> 00:04:21,540 You okay, Dad? Want to stop and take a break? 116 00:04:21,584 --> 00:04:23,934 No, no. I just want to stop and maybe see an eagle. 117 00:04:23,978 --> 00:04:25,283 Everybody look. 118 00:04:28,149 --> 00:04:30,201 You've been doing this for 20 years and never seen one, huh? 119 00:04:30,245 --> 00:04:31,899 Correct. Shh. 120 00:04:31,942 --> 00:04:33,378 Oh. 121 00:04:35,032 --> 00:04:36,904 Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real... 122 00:04:36,947 --> 00:04:38,993 Phil, stop talking! 123 00:04:39,036 --> 00:04:40,603 You're scaring the eagles! 124 00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,997 I'm sorry. My bad. My bad. 125 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,826 - Also sorry in my head. - Oh, my God! 126 00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,132 Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back. 127 00:04:48,176 --> 00:04:49,612 It'll be dark soon. 128 00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:51,962 Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail. 129 00:04:52,006 --> 00:04:53,137 It's pretty run-down, but, uh, 130 00:04:53,181 --> 00:04:54,225 you're welcome to spend the night. 131 00:04:54,269 --> 00:04:56,010 - I'll do it. - Oh. 132 00:04:56,053 --> 00:04:57,576 Are... Are we sure that's a good idea? 133 00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:59,840 Um... wasn't there... wasn't there mention of bears? 134 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,146 No, you go home. I'll stay by myself. 135 00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,010 We... We can't let him stay by himself. 136 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,494 We told Gloria we'd keep him safe. 137 00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:07,173 Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying. 138 00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,922 Yeah. Yeah. What... What's the worst that could happen? 139 00:05:09,965 --> 00:05:11,619 I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight 140 00:05:11,663 --> 00:05:14,492 in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay. 141 00:05:14,535 --> 00:05:16,537 Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards 142 00:05:16,581 --> 00:05:19,192 up at this poorly guarded mental institution. 143 00:05:20,976 --> 00:05:22,848 Damn it, I'm starving. 144 00:05:22,891 --> 00:05:24,980 Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey. 145 00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,982 Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are 146 00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,593 or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box. 147 00:05:28,636 --> 00:05:30,595 We all left the food in the... 148 00:05:30,638 --> 00:05:31,422 Did you change again? 149 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,859 Yeah, I just threw a few things together 150 00:05:33,902 --> 00:05:35,643 to create a "Rustic Cabin" look. 151 00:05:35,687 --> 00:05:38,254 Well, at least the bears won't be a concern. 152 00:05:38,298 --> 00:05:39,604 Take it from a Realtor. 153 00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:41,823 This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard. 154 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,621 All right, I think we are now ready 155 00:05:51,664 --> 00:05:56,159 to put together our beautiful, L-shaped crib. 156 00:05:56,202 --> 00:05:58,584 I-I... This can't be right. One's way bigger. 157 00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:01,051 And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please, 158 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,582 like they're in a halfway house? 159 00:06:02,624 --> 00:06:05,943 Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram. 160 00:06:05,986 --> 00:06:09,006 I think we're just gonna need to swap a short side for a long side. 161 00:06:09,048 --> 00:06:10,281 And in the meantime, we bent that bracket. 162 00:06:10,324 --> 00:06:12,706 Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store? 163 00:06:12,749 --> 00:06:14,024 No way. 164 00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:15,939 I don't trust myself to drive anymore. 165 00:06:15,981 --> 00:06:17,896 I signed up to be the student liaison 166 00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:19,426 for a visiting scholar on campus... 167 00:06:19,469 --> 00:06:20,958 Sir Kenneth Penrose. 168 00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,340 Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose. 169 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,425 Rock star of the microbiology world. 170 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,041 I know you must hear this a lot, 171 00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:28,785 but you're the reason I took up snooker. 172 00:06:28,828 --> 00:06:29,848 Do you still play? 173 00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,805 I've had to lay down my cue lately. 174 00:06:31,848 --> 00:06:34,443 I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine. 175 00:06:34,485 --> 00:06:36,102 Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough. 176 00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:38,015 I can't wait to get to the lab and jot... 177 00:06:38,058 --> 00:06:39,335 - Hey! - Aah! 178 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,397 Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor. 179 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,524 I would not want to be known as the girl who... 180 00:06:45,545 --> 00:06:46,506 Sir Kenneth? 181 00:06:47,757 --> 00:06:49,160 W-Where am I? 182 00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:50,990 You don't know the shame. 183 00:06:51,032 --> 00:06:52,266 Now they won't let me drive around 184 00:06:52,309 --> 00:06:54,941 anyone smarter than a sociology professor. 185 00:06:54,984 --> 00:06:56,983 You know what else hit the ground today? Me. 186 00:06:57,026 --> 00:07:00,386 While I was bending over to pickup a doughnut off the floor! 187 00:07:00,429 --> 00:07:02,087 It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care, 188 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,619 'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster. 189 00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:04,597 Oh, honey, please. 190 00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:06,001 You're as... 191 00:07:06,044 --> 00:07:07,319 as beautiful as ever. 192 00:07:07,362 --> 00:07:09,149 Tell that to MugScan. 193 00:07:09,191 --> 00:07:12,849 MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work. 194 00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,636 It was really mean to me. 195 00:07:16,848 --> 00:07:17,869 Good morning, Wayne. 196 00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:18,848 Wayne? 197 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:20,676 I'm not Wayne, you jerk! 198 00:07:21,698 --> 00:07:23,483 Gosh! 199 00:07:31,693 --> 00:07:32,460 You all right, Haley? 200 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,522 I'm fine, Wayne. 201 00:07:35,565 --> 00:07:37,862 One of my shoes flew off in the fall, 202 00:07:37,904 --> 00:07:40,371 and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen. 203 00:07:40,413 --> 00:07:43,264 You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance. 204 00:07:43,307 --> 00:07:45,390 I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond. 205 00:07:46,369 --> 00:07:49,262 Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high? 206 00:07:49,304 --> 00:07:50,920 No. No, it's supposed to be that way. 207 00:07:50,963 --> 00:07:53,302 That way, if one twin wants to visit the other, 208 00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:56,662 he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!" 209 00:07:56,705 --> 00:07:58,534 - Aaaah! - Hey! 210 00:07:59,641 --> 00:08:02,022 Couple thoughts. 211 00:08:03,044 --> 00:08:04,915 - Pair of 7s. - Ace high. 212 00:08:04,957 --> 00:08:07,765 Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul, 213 00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,193 a pair of black queens. 214 00:08:09,637 --> 00:08:11,679 Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there. 215 00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:12,869 What are you doing? 216 00:08:12,912 --> 00:08:14,954 - Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth. 217 00:08:14,996 --> 00:08:16,571 - Get him! - No. No, I don't. - Come here! 218 00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:19,080 - No, no, no! - Don't... Don't fight. Don't... 219 00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,143 He has beef jerky! 220 00:08:20,186 --> 00:08:21,266 That's the last of it. I swear. 221 00:08:21,327 --> 00:08:22,998 - He's lying. Check his pockets. - No, I... 222 00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,606 - Stop it, stop it, stop it! - It's a family pack! 223 00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:27,866 I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony. 224 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,780 - Give it! - No, stop it! Stop it... 225 00:08:29,823 --> 00:08:31,355 No! 226 00:08:31,397 --> 00:08:32,375 Great. 227 00:08:32,418 --> 00:08:34,077 We're sending beef smoke signals 228 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,650 to a forest full of bears. 229 00:08:35,693 --> 00:08:37,437 I'm sorry! I should've shared! 230 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,777 Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks 231 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:40,755 just up the road! 232 00:08:40,798 --> 00:08:41,733 Brie, prosciutto, 233 00:08:41,776 --> 00:08:44,328 not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter 234 00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:46,625 that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board. 235 00:08:46,668 --> 00:08:47,604 That's it. I'm going out there. 236 00:08:47,647 --> 00:08:48,582 Jay, wait! 237 00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:51,177 If you see a bear, remember... 238 00:08:51,219 --> 00:08:52,750 blind it with the flash on your phone, 239 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,835 then lie on your back in a submissive pose. 240 00:08:54,877 --> 00:08:56,962 I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear, 241 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:57,982 he better run! 242 00:09:03,215 --> 00:09:04,704 It's darker out there... 243 00:09:04,746 --> 00:09:06,235 Aaaaaaaah! 244 00:09:07,893 --> 00:09:09,681 Are you sure it was the best idea 245 00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,339 to attach these before moving them upstairs? 246 00:09:11,382 --> 00:09:14,572 Yeah, I eyeballed the space. It really should fit easily. 247 00:09:14,615 --> 00:09:15,532 Ow! 248 00:09:16,231 --> 00:09:18,486 Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam. 249 00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:21,633 Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl! 250 00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:23,505 You know the pizza guy's name? 251 00:09:23,548 --> 00:09:24,696 No! 252 00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,950 - Hi. - Hey, Haley. 253 00:09:28,993 --> 00:09:31,332 Surprised to get an order from you before midnight. 254 00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:33,800 By the way, how'd you like that custom shrimp and potato pizza? 255 00:09:33,842 --> 00:09:36,862 I don't even know what you're talking about. 256 00:09:36,905 --> 00:09:38,265 Loved it. Love you. 257 00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:39,457 Gonna go get my wallet! 258 00:09:43,058 --> 00:09:44,178 Mom? 259 00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:44,989 Okay. 260 00:09:45,046 --> 00:09:47,412 Alex, run downstairs and get a screwdriver. 261 00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,453 This whole thing will fit easily once we take the cribs apart. 262 00:09:49,495 --> 00:09:50,389 We don't even know 263 00:09:50,432 --> 00:09:52,941 if this thing is gonna fit through the bedroom door. 264 00:09:52,984 --> 00:09:54,387 Of course it will. 265 00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:57,195 But if it makes you happy, I will measure again. 266 00:09:57,237 --> 00:09:58,599 Hmm. 267 00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,172 Hmm? 268 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:03,831 See? 269 00:10:06,936 --> 00:10:08,594 You always record over my programs... 270 00:10:08,637 --> 00:10:09,914 Whoa! 271 00:10:09,956 --> 00:10:11,402 Gah! Aah! 272 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,529 - Oh! - Ow! 273 00:10:15,954 --> 00:10:17,613 Okay, no, how about this? 274 00:10:17,656 --> 00:10:20,530 We all band together to form one big man 275 00:10:20,564 --> 00:10:21,313 to go get the food. 276 00:10:21,356 --> 00:10:22,633 - No! - How's that supposed to work? 277 00:10:22,675 --> 00:10:24,542 Okay, back to back, um, and... and then link arms. 278 00:10:24,627 --> 00:10:26,478 - Okay. - Turn around, give me your arm. 279 00:10:26,569 --> 00:10:28,228 See, look? Like this, all right? 280 00:10:28,271 --> 00:10:30,950 - Do we look big and scary? - Well, I think so. 281 00:10:30,993 --> 00:10:32,737 Let's move towards the door. 282 00:10:34,873 --> 00:10:36,608 Okay. 283 00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,777 Nice and easy. 284 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:43,669 We're just one big man out for a walk in the woods. 285 00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:44,903 Scatter! 286 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,519 Aah! 287 00:10:47,965 --> 00:10:49,624 We made it. Oh! 288 00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,190 Wait! Where's Mitchell? 289 00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,211 He didn't make it! 290 00:10:52,254 --> 00:10:53,402 One of you two need to go get him! 291 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,274 I'm better staying here as a bear decoy. 292 00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:56,550 I give off a natural musk. 293 00:10:56,593 --> 00:10:59,145 Birds land on me all the time. Squirrels eat out of my hand. 294 00:10:59,188 --> 00:11:01,101 Well, I can't go! Lily needs at least one living parent! 295 00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:04,079 Wait! 296 00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:05,355 How do we know it's not the bear? 297 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,629 It's me! 298 00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:09,141 You just left me! 299 00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:10,890 Oh, you weren't out there that long. 300 00:11:10,932 --> 00:11:12,165 You didn't get the food?! 301 00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:13,442 I almost was food! 302 00:11:13,485 --> 00:11:16,164 Okay, I-I wish I never even came on this stupid trip! 303 00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:17,185 Well, who forced you? 304 00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:18,307 Gloria! 305 00:11:23,336 --> 00:11:24,863 It's my delivery ankle. 306 00:11:24,906 --> 00:11:26,392 It's really bad, dudes. 307 00:11:26,434 --> 00:11:29,068 It was already weak from your paintball injury, Carl. 308 00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:30,597 I told you to get it checked out, 309 00:11:30,639 --> 00:11:31,829 but you and doctors. 310 00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:35,608 Okay, fine, I know him a little. 311 00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,307 When it rains, it pours, huh? 312 00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:38,497 - Margaret-Anne left me this morning. - Aw! 313 00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:41,214 Then my dad called me "Craig" on the phone again. 314 00:11:41,257 --> 00:11:42,744 That's the name of his new son. 315 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,909 Oh, God. Carl, can we at least drive you home? 316 00:11:45,411 --> 00:11:46,226 Not now. 317 00:11:46,268 --> 00:11:49,072 I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies, the Sigmas. 318 00:11:49,114 --> 00:11:51,832 Those rich kids get their kicks taking advantage 319 00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:53,064 of our "30 Minutes or it's Free" policy... 320 00:11:53,106 --> 00:11:55,018 use every trick in the book to slow me down. 321 00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,056 Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip. 322 00:11:57,098 --> 00:11:58,203 Not to... Aaaah! 323 00:11:58,245 --> 00:12:00,157 The bone's got to be sticking out, right? 324 00:12:00,198 --> 00:12:02,704 No, it's not even swollen. 325 00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:04,701 Look, Carl, we've all had rough days. 326 00:12:04,743 --> 00:12:06,612 Why don't you let us finish this delivery for you? 327 00:12:06,655 --> 00:12:08,608 Okay, but we've only got, like, 10 minutes. 328 00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:09,670 Let's go, then! Come here. 329 00:12:09,712 --> 00:12:10,944 - Okay. - Come on! 330 00:12:10,986 --> 00:12:13,492 It'll feel good to get something right today. 331 00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:15,955 Plus, I wouldn't mind sticking it to some preppy, white jerks. 332 00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:19,141 Hey! That life comes with its own problems! 333 00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:25,299 Don't be mad, Dad. 334 00:12:25,341 --> 00:12:26,785 Gloria was just worried about you. 335 00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,145 I don't want to talk about it. 336 00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:29,928 Let's just have a drink and be quiet. 337 00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:35,194 Lot of colors in that fire, huh? 338 00:12:35,237 --> 00:12:37,572 Red, green... 339 00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:39,229 - yellow, blue... - Geez. Okay. 340 00:12:39,271 --> 00:12:41,947 What is this yammering with you?! Seriously! 341 00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:43,179 I don't know. 342 00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:47,596 I guess I just don't like being alone with my own thoughts. 343 00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:50,993 Maybe it's because I have a couple of grandkids on the way, 344 00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:52,650 but now, if... if things get too quiet, 345 00:12:52,692 --> 00:12:55,028 my mind goes to a dark place fast. 346 00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:57,534 I start to worry about the people that I love 347 00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,403 and all the bad things that could happen to them. 348 00:13:00,592 --> 00:13:03,607 I suppose talking... pushes those thoughts out 349 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,434 and helps me feel okay. 350 00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:06,877 I get it. 351 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,364 We can all spiral. 352 00:13:08,406 --> 00:13:10,105 But you can't talk your way out of it. 353 00:13:10,148 --> 00:13:12,696 You got to think your way out of it. 354 00:13:12,738 --> 00:13:14,776 You know, find a happy place. 355 00:13:14,819 --> 00:13:16,306 Try this. 356 00:13:16,348 --> 00:13:18,514 30 seconds, no talking. Go. 357 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,456 - Buddy, where are you? - I'm back. Yep. 358 00:13:36,499 --> 00:13:38,537 You know, I think we can learn a lot from this guy, 359 00:13:38,579 --> 00:13:39,726 because it's not the... 360 00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:42,741 the bears out there that we're afraid of. 361 00:13:42,784 --> 00:13:43,931 It's the bears in our lives... 362 00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:46,352 the fear that keeps us up at night. 363 00:13:46,394 --> 00:13:49,240 And I think that's an interesting topic we can return to 364 00:13:49,282 --> 00:13:51,661 once I change into my "Fireside Chat" look. 365 00:13:51,703 --> 00:13:52,977 Another wardrobe change? 366 00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:55,270 You're like a sultan's bride on her wedding day. 367 00:13:55,313 --> 00:13:57,182 Go ahead... make fun of me. 368 00:13:57,224 --> 00:13:58,625 I like my outfits. 369 00:13:58,668 --> 00:13:59,943 Why so many? 370 00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:01,344 Yeah, I guess when I was a kid, 371 00:14:01,386 --> 00:14:03,170 I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in, 372 00:14:03,213 --> 00:14:05,038 so I decided to stand out. 373 00:14:05,081 --> 00:14:06,950 I embraced my flamboyance 374 00:14:06,992 --> 00:14:09,285 to let the world know their insults won't hurt me. 375 00:14:09,328 --> 00:14:11,621 Want to make a joke about me? Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it. 376 00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:15,019 That's really beautiful, Cam. 377 00:14:15,061 --> 00:14:17,270 And you're not alone. 378 00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:20,583 Growing up, we were all insecure nerds in our own way. 379 00:14:22,536 --> 00:14:23,981 I was cool. 380 00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:28,780 What? I thought we were sharing. 381 00:14:28,822 --> 00:14:31,456 That's very brave, Cam. That's good stuff. 382 00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:37,571 Are you crazy?! I shouldn't be the one driving! 383 00:14:37,613 --> 00:14:39,525 There is no time to argue! Just go! Come on! 384 00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:43,704 Thanks so much for making me part of your group. 385 00:14:43,746 --> 00:14:46,209 It's not every day you make four new best friends. 386 00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:49,310 Why are they going so slow?! 387 00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:50,669 I can't get past them! 388 00:14:50,712 --> 00:14:52,453 This is one of Sigma's tactics. 389 00:14:52,496 --> 00:14:53,599 They track my location on the app 390 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,426 and send pledges to try to slow me down. 391 00:14:55,468 --> 00:14:56,573 Ugh! What am I gonna do?! 392 00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,144 I'll handle this. 393 00:14:58,186 --> 00:15:00,182 Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns! 394 00:15:00,736 --> 00:15:03,326 Move! Or I move you! 395 00:15:07,784 --> 00:15:09,102 I do still have my edge! 396 00:15:09,144 --> 00:15:10,078 Yes! 397 00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:13,179 Will you join my paintball team? 398 00:15:14,452 --> 00:15:15,371 What is that?! 399 00:15:15,451 --> 00:15:17,213 Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas. 400 00:15:17,256 --> 00:15:19,379 Don't get distracted by the cuteness. We only have five minutes. 401 00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:20,696 Just go around them. 402 00:15:26,221 --> 00:15:27,580 Oh, my God, I did it! 403 00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:28,855 And you're all still in the car! 404 00:15:28,897 --> 00:15:30,469 Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say 405 00:15:30,511 --> 00:15:31,572 that we didn't fill the order perfectly, 406 00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,186 so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift. 407 00:15:33,229 --> 00:15:35,268 Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing... 408 00:15:35,712 --> 00:15:37,052 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 409 00:15:41,383 --> 00:15:43,124 Carl, do you have a pizza slicer? 410 00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:45,333 Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service. 411 00:15:45,376 --> 00:15:46,947 Give it to me. I have a vision. 412 00:15:47,789 --> 00:15:50,005 Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots. 413 00:15:50,047 --> 00:15:51,959 Maybe they didn't want it enough. 414 00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:54,550 Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter 415 00:15:54,584 --> 00:15:56,512 of removing one slice from each pie, 416 00:15:56,546 --> 00:15:58,159 then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza 417 00:15:58,201 --> 00:15:59,773 from each of the remaining slices, 418 00:15:59,815 --> 00:16:01,684 turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles, 419 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,383 then putting together the 40-degree angles 420 00:16:03,426 --> 00:16:05,252 into nine slightly smaller pies. 421 00:16:05,294 --> 00:16:07,630 After that, one had only to repurpose 422 00:16:07,673 --> 00:16:09,583 the nine previously removed slices 423 00:16:09,626 --> 00:16:10,560 into a 10th pie. 424 00:16:11,495 --> 00:16:13,364 And... 10! 425 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,552 It worked! 426 00:16:14,595 --> 00:16:15,614 It really did. 427 00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:17,398 I do have a visual brain. 428 00:16:17,441 --> 00:16:18,248 That was your thing? 429 00:16:18,290 --> 00:16:20,498 I do not miss having white-people problems. 430 00:16:21,711 --> 00:16:23,316 We're here! I did it! 431 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,722 We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go! 432 00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,973 Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell. 433 00:16:28,016 --> 00:16:30,182 If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock. 434 00:16:30,224 --> 00:16:32,220 I'll handle this. 435 00:16:33,877 --> 00:16:35,193 Stay on that side. 436 00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:37,869 Yeah? 437 00:16:37,911 --> 00:16:39,621 Hi. Um... 438 00:16:39,993 --> 00:16:42,753 I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk. 439 00:16:42,795 --> 00:16:45,684 Is there a place where I can sober up for the night? 440 00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:50,440 At least my looks can still get me into a frat house. 441 00:16:50,483 --> 00:16:51,502 Okay, guys, go, go! 442 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,900 10 pizzas on time. 443 00:16:54,942 --> 00:16:55,792 Pay up! 444 00:16:55,834 --> 00:16:57,193 You guys with Carl? 445 00:16:57,236 --> 00:16:59,231 We are Carl. 446 00:17:01,483 --> 00:17:03,267 Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet! 447 00:17:03,309 --> 00:17:05,560 I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you! 448 00:17:05,602 --> 00:17:07,938 You're the only one whose balance gets better 449 00:17:07,981 --> 00:17:09,722 after drinking a jug of whiskey. 450 00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:12,100 All right. My follower is gonna love this! 451 00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:13,162 Everybody say "Cheese!" 452 00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:14,351 - Cheese. - Yes. 453 00:17:14,393 --> 00:17:16,092 Okay, now, that is how you build a brand. 454 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,683 Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey. 455 00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:19,999 But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers 456 00:17:20,042 --> 00:17:21,061 when they arrive. 457 00:17:21,104 --> 00:17:22,590 You know, you joke, 458 00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:25,393 but you have a certain paranoia about you. 459 00:17:25,436 --> 00:17:26,497 What... What's behind that? 460 00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:27,474 Well... 461 00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:29,768 Ooh! Are we about to hear about Mitchell's bear? 462 00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:32,019 Uh, okay. It... It's, um... 463 00:17:32,061 --> 00:17:33,888 I've never told anyone this, but, uh, 464 00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:36,351 a fortune teller once predicted 465 00:17:36,394 --> 00:17:38,687 that I would not live to see my 46th winter. 466 00:17:38,729 --> 00:17:41,532 Was that that kook that used to live next door to us? 467 00:17:41,574 --> 00:17:42,381 She's nuts. 468 00:17:42,424 --> 00:17:45,227 She told your mother she was gonna win a Tony one day. 469 00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,605 But she was right about a lot of other things. 470 00:17:47,648 --> 00:17:50,069 She said that I'd become a lawyer. 471 00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,532 She said that I would marry a clown one day. 472 00:17:52,574 --> 00:17:54,401 Laughed a long time about that one. 473 00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:55,293 Why? 474 00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,416 Anyway, I-I guess my "bear" 475 00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:58,775 is the fear of dying young. 476 00:17:58,817 --> 00:18:01,239 Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right, 477 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,404 I only have three more years to live. 478 00:18:03,447 --> 00:18:05,061 Well, y-you know what? The way I see it, 479 00:18:05,103 --> 00:18:07,099 this little curse is actually a gift... 480 00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:09,945 a reason to live life to the fullest. 481 00:18:09,987 --> 00:18:11,644 And have no regrets. 482 00:18:11,686 --> 00:18:15,126 Okay, so we're all just accepting this 46-year thing as true? 483 00:18:15,169 --> 00:18:16,698 We've made our peace with it. 484 00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:17,844 And so should you. 485 00:18:17,886 --> 00:18:20,605 Why not just live your limited days 486 00:18:20,647 --> 00:18:22,559 with leaving nothing unsaid? 487 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,107 Tell the people who matter the most how you feel. 488 00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:27,714 I tell you and Lily I love you every single day. 489 00:18:27,804 --> 00:18:29,863 True. What about Phil? 490 00:18:29,906 --> 00:18:32,708 He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning. 491 00:18:32,751 --> 00:18:33,685 Close enough. 492 00:18:33,728 --> 00:18:35,130 And your dad? 493 00:18:39,376 --> 00:18:40,438 Seriously?! 494 00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:42,307 I just have a hard time saying that word to him. 495 00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:43,921 Which is fine for the both of us. 496 00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:45,068 Okay, well, it sounds like 497 00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:46,965 you might be uncomfortable with that word, too. 498 00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:49,314 No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time. 499 00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,632 I'm always saying I love things. I... 500 00:18:50,674 --> 00:18:53,647 I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave. 501 00:18:53,689 --> 00:18:56,493 I love the far-off sound of a train whistle. 502 00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,338 You know, "Ooh! What adventure have they gotten off to?" 503 00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,424 I l... I love watching a baby stretch. 504 00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:04,694 Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but... 505 00:19:04,736 --> 00:19:06,053 what's your "bear"? 506 00:19:06,095 --> 00:19:06,817 I don't have one. 507 00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,388 Oh, come on! We all told you ours. 508 00:19:08,431 --> 00:19:10,427 Now, when you get to my age, 509 00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:13,272 there are less things that you're afraid of. 510 00:19:13,315 --> 00:19:15,056 Except maybe... 511 00:19:15,099 --> 00:19:16,670 being a burden to your family. 512 00:19:17,308 --> 00:19:18,582 Which is starting already, 513 00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:21,385 because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me, 514 00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:24,400 which is why I wanted to spend the night here 515 00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:28,477 so I could prove I'm not some... frail old man. 516 00:19:29,327 --> 00:19:30,600 But, if I'm being honest, 517 00:19:30,643 --> 00:19:34,211 that hike gets tougher for me every year. 518 00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:37,566 And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone. 519 00:19:37,608 --> 00:19:38,839 Oh, Dad. 520 00:19:38,882 --> 00:19:40,369 You could never be a burden. 521 00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,875 Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us. 522 00:19:42,918 --> 00:19:45,720 We'd love the chance to return the favor. 523 00:19:47,164 --> 00:19:48,820 All right. It's getting late. 524 00:19:48,863 --> 00:19:50,902 This mountain pimp outfit's making me sweat. 525 00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:52,090 Let's... Let's get some rest. 526 00:19:53,261 --> 00:19:54,681 - Good night. - Good night. 527 00:19:54,724 --> 00:19:56,422 I'll take the sofa. 528 00:19:56,465 --> 00:19:57,655 Sure you're gonna be okay out here? 529 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,226 - Yeah, I'll be fine. - Okay. 530 00:20:01,137 --> 00:20:03,260 Do... Do you want me to grab you an extra blanket or something? 531 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,797 No, no. I'll get something if I need it. 532 00:20:05,894 --> 00:20:08,442 Okay. Well... 533 00:20:09,401 --> 00:20:10,830 Good night. 534 00:20:15,733 --> 00:20:17,093 I know. 535 00:20:33,951 --> 00:20:35,751 All right, Dad. We're ready to go. 536 00:20:35,786 --> 00:20:36,628 Yeah, Jay. 537 00:20:36,664 --> 00:20:39,240 I'm sorry you didn't see a bald eagle this time around. 538 00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:40,893 Y-Yeah. It's too bad. 539 00:20:40,937 --> 00:20:43,331 I guess we'll all have to come back here again next year. 540 00:20:43,374 --> 00:20:44,593 Yeah. 541 00:20:44,636 --> 00:20:46,377 I don't know about you guys, but I slept great. 542 00:20:46,421 --> 00:20:49,380 That cot was so soft. I'm not always a sound sleeper. 543 00:20:49,424 --> 00:20:52,340 Been meaning to try that melatonin. I hear it's a real game-changer. 544 00:20:52,383 --> 00:20:54,124 And you can get it anywhere nowadays. 545 00:20:54,168 --> 00:20:55,473 Has it always been over-the-counter? 546 00:20:55,517 --> 00:20:57,345 Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it... "over-the-counter"? 547 00:21:00,672 --> 00:21:03,202 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 40195

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