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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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(MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:00:45,874 --> 00:00:49,417
♪ Oh ♪
4
00:00:49,419 --> 00:00:52,879
♪ A newlywed couple just moved to town ♪
5
00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:56,507
♪ A regular husband and wife ♪
6
00:00:56,509 --> 00:01:02,096
♪ Who left the big city
to find a quiet life ♪
7
00:01:02,098 --> 00:01:05,348
♪ WandaVision! ♪
8
00:01:08,646 --> 00:01:12,732
♪ She's a magical gal
in a small town locale ♪
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00:01:12,734 --> 00:01:16,314
♪ He's a hubby who's part machine ♪
10
00:01:18,406 --> 00:01:21,741
♪ How will this duo fit
in and fulfill all? ♪
11
00:01:21,743 --> 00:01:26,963
♪ By sharing a love
like you've never seen ♪
12
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:34,420
♪ WandaVision! ♪
13
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My wife and her flying saucers.
14
00:01:51,481 --> 00:01:55,467
My husband and his indestructible head.
15
00:01:55,469 --> 00:01:57,149
- Aren't we a fine pair?
- (WANDA CHUCKLES)
16
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,074
What do you say to
silver dollar pancakes,
17
00:02:02,076 --> 00:02:04,242
crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs,
18
00:02:04,244 --> 00:02:06,494
freshly squeezed orange
juice, and black coffee?
19
00:02:06,496 --> 00:02:08,576
I say, "Oh, I don't eat food".
20
00:02:09,541 --> 00:02:11,921
Well, that explains
the empty refrigerator.
21
00:02:14,379 --> 00:02:15,920
- Wanda?
- WANDA: Hmm?
22
00:02:15,922 --> 00:02:18,506
Is there something special about today?
23
00:02:18,508 --> 00:02:20,758
Well, I know the apron
is a bit much, dear,
24
00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,094
but I am doing my best to blend in.
25
00:02:23,096 --> 00:02:24,512
No, no, there on the calendar.
26
00:02:24,514 --> 00:02:28,094
Someone's drawn a little heart
right above today's date.
27
00:02:29,352 --> 00:02:31,112
- Oh, yes, the heart.
- Hmm...
28
00:02:32,242 --> 00:02:34,368
Well, don't tell me
you have forgotten, Vis.
29
00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:35,371
"Forgotten"?
30
00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:36,935
Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable
of forgetfulness.
31
00:02:36,937 --> 00:02:38,941
I remember everything.
That's not an exaggeration.
32
00:02:38,943 --> 00:02:41,639
In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration.
33
00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:44,601
Well, then tell me what's so
important about today's date.
34
00:02:46,869 --> 00:02:48,619
What was the question again?
35
00:02:48,621 --> 00:02:50,454
Oh, well, perhaps,
you've forgotten yourself.
36
00:02:50,456 --> 00:02:53,332
Me? Heavens, no. I've been
so looking forward to it.
37
00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:54,834
As have I.
38
00:02:54,836 --> 00:02:56,887
Today, we are celebrating...
39
00:02:56,889 --> 00:02:58,436
You bet we are.
40
00:02:58,438 --> 00:03:01,773
- It's the first time we...
- Mmm-hmm.
41
00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:04,609
... have ever celebrated
this occasion before.
42
00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:06,277
It's a special day!
43
00:03:06,279 --> 00:03:08,404
- Perhaps an evening...
- Of great significance...
44
00:03:08,406 --> 00:03:09,572
- To us both!
- Naturally.
45
00:03:09,574 --> 00:03:11,034
- Obviously.
- Exactly.
46
00:03:11,952 --> 00:03:13,493
Well done, us.
47
00:03:13,495 --> 00:03:15,370
(EXHALES) All right.
48
00:03:15,372 --> 00:03:18,017
Well, that's me off to work, then.
49
00:03:18,019 --> 00:03:19,935
Oh, don't forget!
50
00:03:19,937 --> 00:03:21,067
I haven't.
51
00:03:22,106 --> 00:03:23,146
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
52
00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:30,230
Have a good day, dear!
53
00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:46,429
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
54
00:03:51,928 --> 00:03:53,010
Oh!
55
00:03:53,012 --> 00:03:55,888
Hello, dear. I'm Agnes,
your neighbor to the right.
56
00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:57,473
My right, not yours.
57
00:03:57,475 --> 00:04:00,476
Forgive me for not stopping by
sooner to welcome you to the block.
58
00:04:00,478 --> 00:04:03,104
My mother-in-law was
in town, so I wasn't.
59
00:04:03,106 --> 00:04:04,563
(CHUCKLES)
60
00:04:04,565 --> 00:04:06,816
So, what's your name?
Where are you from?
61
00:04:06,818 --> 00:04:09,368
And most importantly,
how's your bridge game, hon?
62
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,696
I'm Wanda.
63
00:04:12,698 --> 00:04:15,038
Wanda. Charmed.
64
00:04:16,119 --> 00:04:18,702
Golly, you settled in fast!
65
00:04:18,704 --> 00:04:20,746
Did you use a moving company?
66
00:04:20,748 --> 00:04:24,375
I sure did. Those boxes
don't move themselves.
67
00:04:24,377 --> 00:04:25,626
(AGNES CHUCKLES)
68
00:04:25,628 --> 00:04:27,440
So what's a single gal like you
69
00:04:27,442 --> 00:04:29,839
doing rattling around this big house?
70
00:04:29,841 --> 00:04:31,173
Oh, no, I'm not single.
71
00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:32,716
Oh, I don't see a ring.
72
00:04:32,718 --> 00:04:35,219
Well, I assure you I'm married.
73
00:04:35,221 --> 00:04:37,680
To a man. A human one and tall.
74
00:04:37,682 --> 00:04:39,036
As a matter of fact,
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00:04:39,038 --> 00:04:41,183
he'll be home later tonight
for a special occasion.
76
00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:42,393
Just the two of us.
77
00:04:42,395 --> 00:04:43,853
Oh, is it somebody's birthday?
78
00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:45,521
Not a birthday.
79
00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:47,273
Well, today isn't a holiday, is it?
80
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:49,692
No, it's not a holiday.
81
00:04:49,694 --> 00:04:51,193
An anniversary then?
82
00:04:51,195 --> 00:04:52,528
Ye... Yes!
83
00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:55,364
Yes! It's our anniversary!
84
00:04:55,366 --> 00:04:57,950
Oh, how marvelous!
85
00:04:57,952 --> 00:04:59,869
How many years?
86
00:04:59,871 --> 00:05:02,580
Well, it feels like we've
always been together.
87
00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:04,582
Lucky gal.
88
00:05:04,584 --> 00:05:07,144
The only way Ralph would
remember our anniversary
89
00:05:07,146 --> 00:05:09,253
is if there was a beer named June 2nd.
90
00:05:09,255 --> 00:05:10,463
(CHUCKLES)
91
00:05:10,465 --> 00:05:13,048
- So, what do you have planned?
- How do you mean?
92
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:15,176
For your special night.
93
00:05:15,178 --> 00:05:17,678
A young thing like you
doesn't have to do much,
94
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,473
but it's still fun to set the scene.
95
00:05:20,475 --> 00:05:24,769
Say, I was just reading a
crackerjack magazine article
96
00:05:24,771 --> 00:05:28,898
called "How To Treat Your Husband
To Keep Your Husband",
97
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,637
and let me tell you, what
Ralph could really use
98
00:05:31,639 --> 00:05:35,399
is, "How To Goose Your Wife
So You Don't Lose Your Wife".
99
00:05:36,866 --> 00:05:40,201
Hang on. I'll go grab it
and we can start planning.
100
00:05:40,203 --> 00:05:42,620
Oh, this is gonna be a gas!
101
00:05:42,622 --> 00:05:44,246
(GIGGLES)
102
00:05:44,248 --> 00:05:45,498
(GASPS)
103
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,500
Oh...
104
00:05:48,461 --> 00:05:51,030
(SONG PLAYING THROUGH RADIO)
♪ Or you don't go out Friday night ♪
105
00:05:51,032 --> 00:05:52,713
♪ Yakety yak! ♪
106
00:05:52,715 --> 00:05:55,255
♪ You just put on your coat and hat ♪
107
00:05:56,135 --> 00:06:00,675
Here are those computational
forms that you requested, Norm.
108
00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:02,432
There you go.
109
00:06:03,684 --> 00:06:05,514
Gee willikers, that was fast!
110
00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:08,562
Hey, the music isn't
bothering you, is it, pal?
111
00:06:08,564 --> 00:06:10,189
In terms of distraction from work,
112
00:06:10,191 --> 00:06:12,531
or the largely nonsensical
nature of the lyrics?
113
00:06:13,736 --> 00:06:16,196
- The first one.
- Ah, no, thank you, Norm.
114
00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:20,000
Hey, is there somethin' I
can help you with, buddy?
115
00:06:20,868 --> 00:06:22,451
Yes, as a matter of fact, there is.
116
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:23,924
Would you be so good as to tell me
117
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,623
what it is we do here exactly?
118
00:06:28,376 --> 00:06:30,167
Do we make something?
119
00:06:30,169 --> 00:06:31,544
- No.
- Right.
120
00:06:31,546 --> 00:06:34,046
Do we buy or sell something?
121
00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,339
No and no.
122
00:06:35,341 --> 00:06:38,217
Then what is the purpose
of this company?
123
00:06:38,219 --> 00:06:39,976
All I know is, since you've gotten here,
124
00:06:39,978 --> 00:06:42,430
productivity has gone up 300%.
125
00:06:42,432 --> 00:06:44,723
Yes, but what is it we're producing?
126
00:06:44,725 --> 00:06:46,183
Computational forms.
127
00:06:46,185 --> 00:06:48,686
And no one can process the
data quite like you do, pal.
128
00:06:48,688 --> 00:06:50,479
You're like a walking computer.
129
00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:52,606
What? I most certainly am not.
130
00:06:52,608 --> 00:06:54,407
I'm a regular carbon-based employee
131
00:06:54,409 --> 00:06:55,817
made entirely of organic matter,
132
00:06:55,819 --> 00:06:57,820
much like yourself, Norm.
133
00:06:57,822 --> 00:07:00,852
Hey! What's got your
feathers all ruffled?
134
00:07:01,909 --> 00:07:03,826
Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge.
135
00:07:03,828 --> 00:07:07,044
You see, it appears there's
something special about today,
136
00:07:07,046 --> 00:07:08,622
special to Wanda, that's my wife,
137
00:07:08,624 --> 00:07:12,960
and gee, I can't, for the
life of me, recall what it is.
138
00:07:12,962 --> 00:07:14,642
Mmm... Oh!
139
00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:18,299
MR. HART: Good to see you.
140
00:07:18,301 --> 00:07:19,633
- Vision.
- Yes?
141
00:07:19,635 --> 00:07:21,595
Wife and I are looking
forward to this evening.
142
00:07:22,722 --> 00:07:25,222
Mr. Hart. Of course!
143
00:07:25,224 --> 00:07:28,184
Dinner with Mr. Hart and his
dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart.
144
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,019
That's what I just said.
What's wrong with you, son?
145
00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:31,319
Have you got a screw loose?
146
00:07:31,321 --> 00:07:33,397
Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir.
147
00:07:33,399 --> 00:07:35,483
Yes, I should hope so.
148
00:07:35,485 --> 00:07:37,116
Employee dinners are a rite of passage
149
00:07:37,118 --> 00:07:38,527
- for the new hires.
- Ah.
150
00:07:38,529 --> 00:07:40,404
Jones over there failed miserably.
151
00:07:40,406 --> 00:07:42,031
Isn't that right, Jones?
152
00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:44,323
The wife thought five courses
would be sufficient.
153
00:07:45,161 --> 00:07:47,291
And there was that paltry
excuse for entertainment.
154
00:07:48,164 --> 00:07:49,455
A string quartet?
155
00:07:49,457 --> 00:07:53,250
And then you had that embarrassing
display of beatnik enthusiasm.
156
00:07:53,252 --> 00:07:54,622
I wore a turtleneck.
157
00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:58,760
Yes. Best of luck out there in
the unemployment line, Jones.
158
00:07:59,801 --> 00:08:03,135
You know, I owe my success to
being a keen judge of character.
159
00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,197
No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision?
160
00:08:06,307 --> 00:08:08,641
I don't have a skeleton, sir.
161
00:08:08,643 --> 00:08:12,183
Glad to hear it. Your future
in this company depends on it.
162
00:08:19,345 --> 00:08:20,736
AGNES: And you don't have a song?
163
00:08:20,738 --> 00:08:22,738
Nothing special you
played at your wedding?
164
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:24,448
No, nothing special.
165
00:08:24,450 --> 00:08:26,160
I'll just loan you some records then.
166
00:08:26,911 --> 00:08:31,872
So, we've got music covered,
decor, wardrobe. Oh!
167
00:08:31,874 --> 00:08:34,402
What about seduction techniques?
168
00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:35,780
Oh, I have those.
169
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,662
(CHUCKLES) Of course, you do.
170
00:08:38,506 --> 00:08:41,465
Just out of curiosity, what does it say?
171
00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:44,100
That you should stumble
when you walk into a room
172
00:08:44,102 --> 00:08:45,928
so he can catch you.
173
00:08:45,930 --> 00:08:47,054
It's romantic.
174
00:08:47,056 --> 00:08:48,722
Any other tricks?
175
00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:50,831
You could point out that
the death rate of single men
176
00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:52,684
is twice that of married men.
177
00:08:53,563 --> 00:08:55,521
Now, that's romantic.
178
00:08:55,523 --> 00:08:57,565
(BOTH LAUGH)
179
00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,107
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Oh!
180
00:09:01,362 --> 00:09:02,402
(SIGHS)
181
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,363
Vision residence.
182
00:09:04,365 --> 00:09:06,490
- Wanda, darling.
- Vision, sweetheart.
183
00:09:06,492 --> 00:09:07,658
Listen, about tonight...
184
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:11,120
Don't worry, dear. I have
everything under control.
185
00:09:11,122 --> 00:09:12,663
Oh, well, that is a relief.
186
00:09:12,665 --> 00:09:15,750
I must confess, I'm
really rather nervous.
187
00:09:15,752 --> 00:09:17,418
"Nervous"? Whatever for?
188
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,930
Well, you know, darling, I
still get a little tongue-tied.
189
00:09:20,715 --> 00:09:24,675
Vis, after all this time...
190
00:09:24,677 --> 00:09:26,677
There's an awful lot riding
on this one, Wanda.
191
00:09:27,472 --> 00:09:31,552
If tonight doesn't go just so,
I think this could be the end.
192
00:09:32,977 --> 00:09:35,895
Well, it's just one night.
There's no need to get dramatic.
193
00:09:35,897 --> 00:09:38,814
Look, I think the best course
of action is to impress the wife.
194
00:09:38,816 --> 00:09:42,906
And I think the best course of
action is to impress the husband.
195
00:09:43,988 --> 00:09:45,112
VISION: Well, wonderful!
196
00:09:45,114 --> 00:09:47,031
Glad to know we're
both on the same page.
197
00:09:47,033 --> 00:09:48,616
Until tonight, then, my, darling.
198
00:09:48,618 --> 00:09:50,493
Until tonight.
199
00:09:50,495 --> 00:09:51,705
Oh...
200
00:09:57,585 --> 00:10:00,255
Is your husband tired
of you burning his toast?
201
00:10:02,131 --> 00:10:05,091
Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000.
202
00:10:05,093 --> 00:10:07,551
It's the go-to for clever housewives.
203
00:10:07,553 --> 00:10:10,679
Say, this machine has some shine.
204
00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:11,889
You said it.
205
00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:14,981
Set the dial and get the
taste back into your toast.
206
00:10:20,274 --> 00:10:23,275
Top and bottom heating
elements can handle anything
207
00:10:23,277 --> 00:10:27,530
from meatloaf, to cherry pie,
to open-faced cheese sandwiches.
208
00:10:27,532 --> 00:10:29,192
(TIMER TICKING)
209
00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:36,664
(TOASTER DINGS)
210
00:10:36,666 --> 00:10:40,501
The all new ToastMate
2000 by Stark Industries.
211
00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:43,423
Forget the past. This is your future.
212
00:10:48,136 --> 00:10:49,346
Here we are!
213
00:10:50,763 --> 00:10:51,763
Oh!
214
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,932
How very atmospheric!
215
00:10:54,934 --> 00:10:57,518
What's going on here,
Vision? You blow a fuse?
216
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:01,240
Pardon me while I just go and
fetch the lady of the house.
217
00:11:07,572 --> 00:11:08,652
Guess who?
218
00:11:09,449 --> 00:11:11,073
Wanda!
219
00:11:11,075 --> 00:11:12,158
Vision. (GASPS)
220
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,076
Oh! Oh!
221
00:11:14,078 --> 00:11:15,202
Ah...
222
00:11:15,204 --> 00:11:16,620
What is the meaning of this?
223
00:11:16,622 --> 00:11:18,831
(STAMMERING) Well, what is...
224
00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,249
Yeah, what is the meaning of...
225
00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:21,375
Oh, the meaning of it!
226
00:11:21,377 --> 00:11:23,695
You want to know the meaning
of it and the meaning of it
227
00:11:23,697 --> 00:11:29,884
is that this is the traditional
Sokovian greeting of hospitality.
228
00:11:29,886 --> 00:11:32,178
- Guess who?
- Is that my host behind me?
229
00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:33,387
It certainly is.
230
00:11:33,389 --> 00:11:35,848
- Lovely to make your acquaintance.
- Yes! (CHUCKLES)
231
00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:38,270
See, I forgot to tell you
my wife is from Europe.
232
00:11:39,103 --> 00:11:41,228
Oh, how exotic!
233
00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,147
We don't break bread with Bolsheviks.
234
00:11:43,149 --> 00:11:44,648
Oh, hush, Arthur!
235
00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:47,276
Have you no culture at all? (CHUCKLES)
236
00:11:47,278 --> 00:11:48,486
And that dress!
237
00:11:48,488 --> 00:11:53,824
Yes! It's... It's so...
Sokovian, is what it is! Yes!
238
00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:57,369
Can I just see you in the kitchen
for a moment, sweetheart?
239
00:11:57,371 --> 00:11:58,454
Oh, yes!
240
00:11:58,456 --> 00:11:59,496
(BLOWS CANDLES)
241
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,058
- Who are those people?
- What are you wearing?
242
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:05,002
- Why are they here?
- What are you wearing?
243
00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:06,420
Well, it's our anniversary!
244
00:12:06,422 --> 00:12:07,755
Our anniversary of what?
245
00:12:07,757 --> 00:12:10,177
Well, if you don't know,
I'm not going to tell you!
246
00:12:11,135 --> 00:12:14,386
That... That man through
there is my boss, Mr. Hart!
247
00:12:14,388 --> 00:12:16,269
And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart!
248
00:12:16,271 --> 00:12:19,058
The heart on the calendar
was an abbreviation!
249
00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:20,733
You move at the speed of sound
250
00:12:20,735 --> 00:12:22,311
and I can make a pen
float through the air.
251
00:12:22,313 --> 00:12:23,813
Who needs to abbreviate?
252
00:12:23,815 --> 00:12:26,941
Darling, listen, it's all romantic
to do the candles, the music,
253
00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:28,859
- that stunning outfit...
- Well...
254
00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:31,326
I don't wanna be unappreciative,
but right now...
255
00:12:31,328 --> 00:12:33,739
Your boss and his wife are
expecting a home-cooked meal.
256
00:12:33,741 --> 00:12:34,751
- Exactly.
- (SIGHS)
257
00:12:35,874 --> 00:12:36,999
Any chance they'd settle
258
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:39,662
for a single chocolate-covered
strawberry split three ways?
259
00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:40,996
Uh...
260
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:42,598
I might have a better idea.
261
00:12:45,169 --> 00:12:46,460
Hmm.
262
00:12:46,462 --> 00:12:48,219
So I said, "If we orient the forms
263
00:12:48,221 --> 00:12:50,798
horizontally rather than vertically,
264
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,176
we can use twice the paper,
we can bill twice the cost".
265
00:12:54,178 --> 00:12:55,678
(LAUGHS)
266
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,728
You truly are a pioneer!
267
00:12:57,730 --> 00:13:00,391
But the larger purpose
of the forms is...
268
00:13:00,393 --> 00:13:02,309
Was to analyze our input and our output.
269
00:13:02,311 --> 00:13:03,321
Huh.
270
00:13:04,355 --> 00:13:06,145
You're awfully dense,
aren't you, Vision?
271
00:13:09,026 --> 00:13:10,782
Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver!
272
00:13:10,784 --> 00:13:12,492
What kind of housewife would I be
273
00:13:12,494 --> 00:13:15,698
if I didn't have a gourmet meal
for four just lying about the place?
274
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:16,701
- (LAUGHS)
- Well...
275
00:13:16,703 --> 00:13:19,410
Not that Ralph ever wants to
eat anything but baked beans
276
00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:22,747
which explains a lot about
his personal appeal, mind you.
277
00:13:22,749 --> 00:13:24,790
- Oh, my!
- Oh! Oh!
278
00:13:24,792 --> 00:13:26,834
Do you think Wanda needs
help in the kitchen?
279
00:13:26,836 --> 00:13:29,628
We haven't any tidbits
or tartlets out here,
280
00:13:29,630 --> 00:13:30,969
nary a pig in a blanket.
281
00:13:30,971 --> 00:13:32,423
No, that... (CHUCKLES)
282
00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:34,639
- No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart.
- (CLATTERING)
283
00:13:34,641 --> 00:13:36,844
But I'm sure she's
absolutely fine in there!
284
00:13:36,846 --> 00:13:39,346
Oh, thank you, Agnes. I think
I've got it covered from here.
285
00:13:39,348 --> 00:13:40,556
- Oh, are you sure, dear?
- Hmm.
286
00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:43,893
Many hands make light work. And
many mouths make good gossip.
287
00:13:43,895 --> 00:13:45,394
You're so naughty! (LAUGHS)
288
00:13:45,396 --> 00:13:47,396
Oh, shall I just pre-heat
the oven then, dear?
289
00:13:47,398 --> 00:13:49,815
- That won't be necessary.
- Oh, All right, then.
290
00:13:49,817 --> 00:13:52,818
Well, I know you're in a pinch so
this menu can be done in a snap.
291
00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:55,613
Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced
meat turnovers to start.
292
00:13:55,615 --> 00:13:57,247
Chicken à la King with twice-cooked
293
00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:58,789
new potatoes for your second course,
294
00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:01,827
and Steak Diane and mint
jellies for your main.
295
00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:03,496
Do you set your own jellies, dear?
296
00:14:03,498 --> 00:14:05,581
- Yes.
- Good girl.
297
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,666
Recipe cards are on the counter there.
298
00:14:07,668 --> 00:14:09,001
Bon appétit!
299
00:14:09,003 --> 00:14:10,413
(CHUCKLES) Oh!
300
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,007
Oh, oh.
301
00:14:15,009 --> 00:14:16,133
You men stay put.
302
00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:18,134
I sense a domestic emergency, so...
303
00:14:18,136 --> 00:14:19,726
Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't.
304
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,514
You... Please...
305
00:14:21,516 --> 00:14:25,643
♪ Yeah, take out the
papers and the trash ♪
306
00:14:25,645 --> 00:14:28,175
♪ Or you won't get no spending cash ♪
307
00:14:29,398 --> 00:14:31,778
♪ If you don't scrub the kitchen floor ♪
308
00:14:32,985 --> 00:14:34,943
♪ You ain't gonna
rock and roll no more ♪
309
00:14:34,945 --> 00:14:36,825
♪ Yakety yak! Don't talk back ♪
310
00:14:39,534 --> 00:14:40,534
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
311
00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:43,899
Well, why don't we
have a nice sing-a-long,
312
00:14:43,901 --> 00:14:45,444
all together then, shall we?
313
00:14:48,334 --> 00:14:49,954
(GASPS) Oh, no, too much!
314
00:14:53,047 --> 00:14:55,047
Oh, no, not enough!
315
00:14:55,925 --> 00:14:58,467
(SINGING) ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
316
00:14:58,469 --> 00:15:00,302
♪ Ee-I-Ee-I-O ♪
317
00:15:00,304 --> 00:15:02,304
♪ And on that farm he had a... ♪
318
00:15:04,725 --> 00:15:06,350
♪ Had a... ♪
319
00:15:06,352 --> 00:15:07,435
Pig.
320
00:15:07,437 --> 00:15:09,061
♪ Ee-I-Ee-I-O ♪
321
00:15:09,063 --> 00:15:10,146
- ♪ With a... ♪
- ♪ Oink, oink... ♪
322
00:15:10,148 --> 00:15:11,272
- ♪ Here and a... ♪
- ♪ Oink, oink... ♪
323
00:15:11,274 --> 00:15:12,940
- ♪ There ♪
- ♪ Here an oink, there an oink ♪
324
00:15:12,942 --> 00:15:14,156
♪ Everywhere an oink, oink ♪
325
00:15:14,158 --> 00:15:16,318
♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪
326
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,903
♪ Ee-I-Ee-I-O ♪
327
00:15:17,905 --> 00:15:19,387
Oh, what was I supposed to do next?
328
00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:20,856
Oh, what was the main course again?
329
00:15:20,858 --> 00:15:22,283
It was... Steak...
330
00:15:22,285 --> 00:15:23,743
No. Steak...
331
00:15:23,745 --> 00:15:25,578
Steak... Diane!
332
00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:26,630
Yes?
333
00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:30,583
Oh, I think that must be
my wife summoning me.
334
00:15:30,585 --> 00:15:32,205
She calls you "Diane?"
335
00:15:33,212 --> 00:15:36,046
Yes, it's her pet name for me.
336
00:15:36,048 --> 00:15:37,337
(SIGHS)
337
00:15:37,339 --> 00:15:40,179
I'm just coming, Fred.
338
00:15:41,971 --> 00:15:43,101
Excuse me a moment.
339
00:15:46,976 --> 00:15:48,146
(GASPS) Oh, no.
340
00:15:49,771 --> 00:15:51,312
How can I be of assistance?
341
00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:53,529
Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken
342
00:15:53,531 --> 00:15:54,899
and the lobsters just flew the coop
343
00:15:54,901 --> 00:15:57,026
so the steak is the last man standing.
344
00:15:57,028 --> 00:16:00,479
It says here I can cut down the
prep time with a meat tenderizer.
345
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,531
Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer?
346
00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:04,325
- I'm looking at him.
- Ah.
347
00:16:04,327 --> 00:16:05,451
Hoo-hoo in there!
348
00:16:05,453 --> 00:16:07,745
WANDA: (GASPS) Hoo-hoo back to you!
349
00:16:07,747 --> 00:16:08,829
Okay.
350
00:16:08,831 --> 00:16:12,551
Finish the meat, find the
lobsters. I'll be right back.
351
00:16:14,128 --> 00:16:15,544
I hope you're hungry.
352
00:16:15,546 --> 00:16:16,879
Starved, is more like it.
353
00:16:16,881 --> 00:16:19,501
My head is starting to feel woozy.
354
00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:23,542
Were either of you aware
355
00:16:23,544 --> 00:16:27,431
that married men are killing
single men at an alarming rate?
356
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:29,600
- What are you going on about?
- (LOUD THUD)
357
00:16:29,602 --> 00:16:30,893
And what's going on in there?
358
00:16:30,895 --> 00:16:33,521
Whoo-hoo! Ho-ho! (GASPS)
359
00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:35,063
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
360
00:16:36,234 --> 00:16:37,858
Who could that be?
361
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:39,120
Coming!
362
00:16:40,238 --> 00:16:42,196
Oh, you didn't answer the back door.
363
00:16:42,198 --> 00:16:43,906
For your upside-down cake.
364
00:16:43,908 --> 00:16:45,908
Oh! Hi, I...
365
00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:46,992
Who was that?
366
00:16:46,994 --> 00:16:48,577
- A salesman!
- Telegram!
367
00:16:48,579 --> 00:16:50,454
A man selling telegrams.
368
00:16:50,456 --> 00:16:52,546
Wouldn't you know it. Good
news is more expensive.
369
00:16:53,418 --> 00:16:54,674
I couldn't find the lobsters
370
00:16:54,676 --> 00:16:56,669
and did you want the meat
tender or pulverized?
371
00:16:56,671 --> 00:16:57,841
Oh, dear.
372
00:16:59,507 --> 00:17:03,217
Well. I think tonight's
going swimmingly.
373
00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:05,553
Anyone for Parcheesi?
374
00:17:05,555 --> 00:17:09,014
- My head is spinning.
- Oh, Mrs. Hart...
375
00:17:09,016 --> 00:17:11,016
Did you hear that? My
wife's head is spinning.
376
00:17:11,018 --> 00:17:13,228
Generally speaking, I don't
like her head to do that.
377
00:17:15,481 --> 00:17:16,651
Time to improvise.
378
00:17:17,892 --> 00:17:19,183
You know, I'm beginning to think
379
00:17:19,185 --> 00:17:21,402
you're not management material, Vision.
380
00:17:21,404 --> 00:17:23,112
You know, I had high hopes for you.
381
00:17:23,114 --> 00:17:24,912
But from what I've seen here tonight,
382
00:17:24,914 --> 00:17:26,824
you can barely keep it together.
383
00:17:26,826 --> 00:17:28,124
I mean, look around.
384
00:17:28,126 --> 00:17:30,126
There's all this chaos
going on in your household.
385
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,371
Now, when are we gonna eat?
386
00:17:32,373 --> 00:17:33,953
Dinner is served.
387
00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:36,334
VISION: Ah!
388
00:17:37,587 --> 00:17:39,177
Breakfast for dinner?
389
00:17:40,673 --> 00:17:41,756
How very...
390
00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,098
European.
391
00:17:44,177 --> 00:17:46,427
Ooh! Let's have a toast!
392
00:17:47,221 --> 00:17:50,514
To my lovely and talented wife.
393
00:17:50,516 --> 00:17:52,850
To our esteemed guests.
394
00:17:52,852 --> 00:17:54,310
Yes. Cin cin.
395
00:17:54,312 --> 00:17:55,312
Cheers.
396
00:17:57,690 --> 00:17:59,523
Well, please eat before it gets cold.
397
00:17:59,525 --> 00:18:01,405
- MRS. HART: Hmm?
- Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me.
398
00:18:02,945 --> 00:18:05,946
So, where did you two move from?
399
00:18:05,948 --> 00:18:07,015
What brought you here?
400
00:18:07,017 --> 00:18:08,247
How long have you been married?
401
00:18:08,249 --> 00:18:10,406
And why don't you have children yet?
402
00:18:14,255 --> 00:18:19,710
I think what my wife means to
say is that we moved from...
403
00:18:19,712 --> 00:18:21,422
Yes, we moved from...
404
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,423
And we were married...
405
00:18:24,425 --> 00:18:27,843
Yes, yes, we were married in...
406
00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:31,388
Well? Moved from where? Married when?
407
00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:32,527
Now, patience, Arthur.
408
00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,142
They're setting up their
story. Let them tell it.
409
00:18:35,144 --> 00:18:36,352
We...
410
00:18:36,354 --> 00:18:38,144
Our story... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
411
00:18:39,398 --> 00:18:41,565
Yes, what exactly is your story?
412
00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,447
Oh, just leave the poor kids alone.
413
00:18:44,403 --> 00:18:46,943
No, really, I mean, I think
it's a perfectly simple question.
414
00:18:47,698 --> 00:18:48,948
Honestly.
415
00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:50,160
Why did you come here?
416
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:52,871
Why?
417
00:18:54,622 --> 00:18:56,452
Damn it, why? Why did you...
418
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,170
(CHOKING)
419
00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:03,079
Oh, Arthur, stop it.
420
00:19:06,092 --> 00:19:08,252
Stop it. (CHUCKLES)
421
00:19:09,053 --> 00:19:10,219
Stop it.
422
00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:11,231
(CHOKING)
423
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:15,230
- MRS. HART: Stop it. Stop it.
- (MR. HART CONTINUES CHOKING)
424
00:19:16,686 --> 00:19:18,727
Stop it. (CHUCKLES)
425
00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:20,109
Stop it.
426
00:19:22,024 --> 00:19:23,107
Stop it.
427
00:19:23,109 --> 00:19:24,358
Stop it.
428
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,450
(GROANS)
429
00:19:26,404 --> 00:19:28,529
Stop it. Stop it.
430
00:19:28,531 --> 00:19:29,581
Stop it.
431
00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:31,933
Stop it.
432
00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:32,975
Vision, help him.
433
00:19:41,169 --> 00:19:42,799
(COUGHING)
434
00:19:47,845 --> 00:19:49,345
Let me help you up.
435
00:19:49,347 --> 00:19:50,347
Give me your hand.
436
00:19:52,138 --> 00:19:53,478
All right, steady on, sir.
437
00:19:55,016 --> 00:19:56,646
(GASPING)
438
00:19:58,186 --> 00:20:01,270
Well, would you look
at the time? (CHUCKLES)
439
00:20:01,272 --> 00:20:03,682
Yes. We'd better be going.
440
00:20:04,972 --> 00:20:07,568
Well... Are you both all right?
441
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:10,240
We had such a lovely time.
442
00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:14,075
This guest is leaving your home.
443
00:20:14,077 --> 00:20:15,659
(LAUGHS)
444
00:20:15,661 --> 00:20:18,496
Yes, thank you for coming. (CHUCKLES)
445
00:20:18,498 --> 00:20:19,997
(SIGHS)
446
00:20:19,999 --> 00:20:21,540
You made me proud tonight, son.
447
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:22,840
First thing Monday morning,
448
00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:24,532
you and me are gonna have a little chat.
449
00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:27,331
We'll see about that promotion.
450
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:28,793
Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!
451
00:20:31,469 --> 00:20:32,469
MR. HART: Thank you.
452
00:20:36,099 --> 00:20:37,229
Oh...
453
00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:40,814
What a charming door knocker.
454
00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:43,534
Good night!
455
00:20:48,069 --> 00:20:49,279
(BOTH EXHALE IN RELIEF)
456
00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:51,613
(SIGHS)
457
00:20:54,784 --> 00:20:56,951
We are an unusual couple, ya know?
458
00:20:56,953 --> 00:20:59,328
Oh, I don't think that
was ever in question.
459
00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:03,749
Well, what I mean is... We
don't have an anniversary.
460
00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:06,127
- Huh.
- Or a song.
461
00:21:06,129 --> 00:21:07,670
Or even wedding rings.
462
00:21:07,672 --> 00:21:09,713
Well, we could remedy that.
463
00:21:09,715 --> 00:21:11,298
Today could be our anniversary.
464
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,968
Of what? Surviving
our first dinner party?
465
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,512
Precisely. And our song could be?
466
00:21:16,514 --> 00:21:17,888
Yakety Yak, naturally.
467
00:21:17,890 --> 00:21:18,890
- Naturally.
- Hmm.
468
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:21,560
And the rings?
469
00:21:22,937 --> 00:21:24,437
Well, couldn't you make some for us?
470
00:21:32,613 --> 00:21:33,613
I do.
471
00:21:34,699 --> 00:21:35,699
Do you?
472
00:21:36,909 --> 00:21:39,119
Yes. I do.
473
00:21:40,913 --> 00:21:42,783
And they lived happily ever after.
474
00:26:32,539 --> 00:26:35,939
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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