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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:42,287 --> 00:00:44,287 (MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:00:45,874 --> 00:00:49,417 ♪ Oh ♪ 4 00:00:49,419 --> 00:00:52,879 ♪ A newlywed couple just moved to town ♪ 5 00:00:52,881 --> 00:00:56,507 ♪ A regular husband and wife ♪ 6 00:00:56,509 --> 00:01:02,096 ♪ Who left the big city to find a quiet life ♪ 7 00:01:02,098 --> 00:01:05,348 ♪ WandaVision! ♪ 8 00:01:08,646 --> 00:01:12,732 ♪ She's a magical gal in a small town locale ♪ 9 00:01:12,734 --> 00:01:16,314 ♪ He's a hubby who's part machine ♪ 10 00:01:18,406 --> 00:01:21,741 ♪ How will this duo fit in and fulfill all? ♪ 11 00:01:21,743 --> 00:01:26,963 ♪ By sharing a love like you've never seen ♪ 12 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:34,420 ♪ WandaVision! ♪ 13 00:01:49,145 --> 00:01:51,479 My wife and her flying saucers. 14 00:01:51,481 --> 00:01:55,467 My husband and his indestructible head. 15 00:01:55,469 --> 00:01:57,149 - Aren't we a fine pair? - (WANDA CHUCKLES) 16 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:02,074 What do you say to silver dollar pancakes, 17 00:02:02,076 --> 00:02:04,242 crispy hash browns, bacon, eggs, 18 00:02:04,244 --> 00:02:06,494 freshly squeezed orange juice, and black coffee? 19 00:02:06,496 --> 00:02:08,576 I say, "Oh, I don't eat food". 20 00:02:09,541 --> 00:02:11,921 Well, that explains the empty refrigerator. 21 00:02:14,379 --> 00:02:15,920 - Wanda? - WANDA: Hmm? 22 00:02:15,922 --> 00:02:18,506 Is there something special about today? 23 00:02:18,508 --> 00:02:20,758 Well, I know the apron is a bit much, dear, 24 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,094 but I am doing my best to blend in. 25 00:02:23,096 --> 00:02:24,512 No, no, there on the calendar. 26 00:02:24,514 --> 00:02:28,094 Someone's drawn a little heart right above today's date. 27 00:02:29,352 --> 00:02:31,112 - Oh, yes, the heart. - Hmm... 28 00:02:32,242 --> 00:02:34,368 Well, don't tell me you have forgotten, Vis. 29 00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:35,371 "Forgotten"? 30 00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:36,935 Oh, Wanda, I'm incapable of forgetfulness. 31 00:02:36,937 --> 00:02:38,941 I remember everything. That's not an exaggeration. 32 00:02:38,943 --> 00:02:41,639 In fact, I'm incapable of exaggeration. 33 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:44,601 Well, then tell me what's so important about today's date. 34 00:02:46,869 --> 00:02:48,619 What was the question again? 35 00:02:48,621 --> 00:02:50,454 Oh, well, perhaps, you've forgotten yourself. 36 00:02:50,456 --> 00:02:53,332 Me? Heavens, no. I've been so looking forward to it. 37 00:02:53,334 --> 00:02:54,834 As have I. 38 00:02:54,836 --> 00:02:56,887 Today, we are celebrating... 39 00:02:56,889 --> 00:02:58,436 You bet we are. 40 00:02:58,438 --> 00:03:01,773 - It's the first time we... - Mmm-hmm. 41 00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:04,609 ... have ever celebrated this occasion before. 42 00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:06,277 It's a special day! 43 00:03:06,279 --> 00:03:08,404 - Perhaps an evening... - Of great significance... 44 00:03:08,406 --> 00:03:09,572 - To us both! - Naturally. 45 00:03:09,574 --> 00:03:11,034 - Obviously. - Exactly. 46 00:03:11,952 --> 00:03:13,493 Well done, us. 47 00:03:13,495 --> 00:03:15,370 (EXHALES) All right. 48 00:03:15,372 --> 00:03:18,017 Well, that's me off to work, then. 49 00:03:18,019 --> 00:03:19,935 Oh, don't forget! 50 00:03:19,937 --> 00:03:21,067 I haven't. 51 00:03:22,106 --> 00:03:23,146 Oh! (CHUCKLES) 52 00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:30,230 Have a good day, dear! 53 00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:46,429 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 54 00:03:51,928 --> 00:03:53,010 Oh! 55 00:03:53,012 --> 00:03:55,888 Hello, dear. I'm Agnes, your neighbor to the right. 56 00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:57,473 My right, not yours. 57 00:03:57,475 --> 00:04:00,476 Forgive me for not stopping by sooner to welcome you to the block. 58 00:04:00,478 --> 00:04:03,104 My mother-in-law was in town, so I wasn't. 59 00:04:03,106 --> 00:04:04,563 (CHUCKLES) 60 00:04:04,565 --> 00:04:06,816 So, what's your name? Where are you from? 61 00:04:06,818 --> 00:04:09,368 And most importantly, how's your bridge game, hon? 62 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,696 I'm Wanda. 63 00:04:12,698 --> 00:04:15,038 Wanda. Charmed. 64 00:04:16,119 --> 00:04:18,702 Golly, you settled in fast! 65 00:04:18,704 --> 00:04:20,746 Did you use a moving company? 66 00:04:20,748 --> 00:04:24,375 I sure did. Those boxes don't move themselves. 67 00:04:24,377 --> 00:04:25,626 (AGNES CHUCKLES) 68 00:04:25,628 --> 00:04:27,440 So what's a single gal like you 69 00:04:27,442 --> 00:04:29,839 doing rattling around this big house? 70 00:04:29,841 --> 00:04:31,173 Oh, no, I'm not single. 71 00:04:31,175 --> 00:04:32,716 Oh, I don't see a ring. 72 00:04:32,718 --> 00:04:35,219 Well, I assure you I'm married. 73 00:04:35,221 --> 00:04:37,680 To a man. A human one and tall. 74 00:04:37,682 --> 00:04:39,036 As a matter of fact, 75 00:04:39,038 --> 00:04:41,183 he'll be home later tonight for a special occasion. 76 00:04:41,185 --> 00:04:42,393 Just the two of us. 77 00:04:42,395 --> 00:04:43,853 Oh, is it somebody's birthday? 78 00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:45,521 Not a birthday. 79 00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:47,273 Well, today isn't a holiday, is it? 80 00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:49,692 No, it's not a holiday. 81 00:04:49,694 --> 00:04:51,193 An anniversary then? 82 00:04:51,195 --> 00:04:52,528 Ye... Yes! 83 00:04:52,530 --> 00:04:55,364 Yes! It's our anniversary! 84 00:04:55,366 --> 00:04:57,950 Oh, how marvelous! 85 00:04:57,952 --> 00:04:59,869 How many years? 86 00:04:59,871 --> 00:05:02,580 Well, it feels like we've always been together. 87 00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:04,582 Lucky gal. 88 00:05:04,584 --> 00:05:07,144 The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary 89 00:05:07,146 --> 00:05:09,253 is if there was a beer named June 2nd. 90 00:05:09,255 --> 00:05:10,463 (CHUCKLES) 91 00:05:10,465 --> 00:05:13,048 - So, what do you have planned? - How do you mean? 92 00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:15,176 For your special night. 93 00:05:15,178 --> 00:05:17,678 A young thing like you doesn't have to do much, 94 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,473 but it's still fun to set the scene. 95 00:05:20,475 --> 00:05:24,769 Say, I was just reading a crackerjack magazine article 96 00:05:24,771 --> 00:05:28,898 called "How To Treat Your Husband To Keep Your Husband", 97 00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:31,637 and let me tell you, what Ralph could really use 98 00:05:31,639 --> 00:05:35,399 is, "How To Goose Your Wife So You Don't Lose Your Wife". 99 00:05:36,866 --> 00:05:40,201 Hang on. I'll go grab it and we can start planning. 100 00:05:40,203 --> 00:05:42,620 Oh, this is gonna be a gas! 101 00:05:42,622 --> 00:05:44,246 (GIGGLES) 102 00:05:44,248 --> 00:05:45,498 (GASPS) 103 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:46,500 Oh... 104 00:05:48,461 --> 00:05:51,030 (SONG PLAYING THROUGH RADIO) ♪ Or you don't go out Friday night ♪ 105 00:05:51,032 --> 00:05:52,713 ♪ Yakety yak! ♪ 106 00:05:52,715 --> 00:05:55,255 ♪ You just put on your coat and hat ♪ 107 00:05:56,135 --> 00:06:00,675 Here are those computational forms that you requested, Norm. 108 00:06:01,432 --> 00:06:02,432 There you go. 109 00:06:03,684 --> 00:06:05,514 Gee willikers, that was fast! 110 00:06:06,562 --> 00:06:08,562 Hey, the music isn't bothering you, is it, pal? 111 00:06:08,564 --> 00:06:10,189 In terms of distraction from work, 112 00:06:10,191 --> 00:06:12,531 or the largely nonsensical nature of the lyrics? 113 00:06:13,736 --> 00:06:16,196 - The first one. - Ah, no, thank you, Norm. 114 00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:20,000 Hey, is there somethin' I can help you with, buddy? 115 00:06:20,868 --> 00:06:22,451 Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. 116 00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:23,924 Would you be so good as to tell me 117 00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,623 what it is we do here exactly? 118 00:06:28,376 --> 00:06:30,167 Do we make something? 119 00:06:30,169 --> 00:06:31,544 - No. - Right. 120 00:06:31,546 --> 00:06:34,046 Do we buy or sell something? 121 00:06:34,048 --> 00:06:35,339 No and no. 122 00:06:35,341 --> 00:06:38,217 Then what is the purpose of this company? 123 00:06:38,219 --> 00:06:39,976 All I know is, since you've gotten here, 124 00:06:39,978 --> 00:06:42,430 productivity has gone up 300%. 125 00:06:42,432 --> 00:06:44,723 Yes, but what is it we're producing? 126 00:06:44,725 --> 00:06:46,183 Computational forms. 127 00:06:46,185 --> 00:06:48,686 And no one can process the data quite like you do, pal. 128 00:06:48,688 --> 00:06:50,479 You're like a walking computer. 129 00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:52,606 What? I most certainly am not. 130 00:06:52,608 --> 00:06:54,407 I'm a regular carbon-based employee 131 00:06:54,409 --> 00:06:55,817 made entirely of organic matter, 132 00:06:55,819 --> 00:06:57,820 much like yourself, Norm. 133 00:06:57,822 --> 00:07:00,852 Hey! What's got your feathers all ruffled? 134 00:07:01,909 --> 00:07:03,826 Yes, I'm sorry, I'm a tad on edge. 135 00:07:03,828 --> 00:07:07,044 You see, it appears there's something special about today, 136 00:07:07,046 --> 00:07:08,622 special to Wanda, that's my wife, 137 00:07:08,624 --> 00:07:12,960 and gee, I can't, for the life of me, recall what it is. 138 00:07:12,962 --> 00:07:14,642 Mmm... Oh! 139 00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:18,299 MR. HART: Good to see you. 140 00:07:18,301 --> 00:07:19,633 - Vision. - Yes? 141 00:07:19,635 --> 00:07:21,595 Wife and I are looking forward to this evening. 142 00:07:22,722 --> 00:07:25,222 Mr. Hart. Of course! 143 00:07:25,224 --> 00:07:28,184 Dinner with Mr. Hart and his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart. 144 00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,019 That's what I just said. What's wrong with you, son? 145 00:07:30,021 --> 00:07:31,319 Have you got a screw loose? 146 00:07:31,321 --> 00:07:33,397 Oh, no, sir. Screws all tightened, sir. 147 00:07:33,399 --> 00:07:35,483 Yes, I should hope so. 148 00:07:35,485 --> 00:07:37,116 Employee dinners are a rite of passage 149 00:07:37,118 --> 00:07:38,527 - for the new hires. - Ah. 150 00:07:38,529 --> 00:07:40,404 Jones over there failed miserably. 151 00:07:40,406 --> 00:07:42,031 Isn't that right, Jones? 152 00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:44,323 The wife thought five courses would be sufficient. 153 00:07:45,161 --> 00:07:47,291 And there was that paltry excuse for entertainment. 154 00:07:48,164 --> 00:07:49,455 A string quartet? 155 00:07:49,457 --> 00:07:53,250 And then you had that embarrassing display of beatnik enthusiasm. 156 00:07:53,252 --> 00:07:54,622 I wore a turtleneck. 157 00:07:56,130 --> 00:07:58,760 Yes. Best of luck out there in the unemployment line, Jones. 158 00:07:59,801 --> 00:08:03,135 You know, I owe my success to being a keen judge of character. 159 00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,197 No skeletons in your closet, eh, Vision? 160 00:08:06,307 --> 00:08:08,641 I don't have a skeleton, sir. 161 00:08:08,643 --> 00:08:12,183 Glad to hear it. Your future in this company depends on it. 162 00:08:19,345 --> 00:08:20,736 AGNES: And you don't have a song? 163 00:08:20,738 --> 00:08:22,738 Nothing special you played at your wedding? 164 00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:24,448 No, nothing special. 165 00:08:24,450 --> 00:08:26,160 I'll just loan you some records then. 166 00:08:26,911 --> 00:08:31,872 So, we've got music covered, decor, wardrobe. Oh! 167 00:08:31,874 --> 00:08:34,402 What about seduction techniques? 168 00:08:34,404 --> 00:08:35,780 Oh, I have those. 169 00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,662 (CHUCKLES) Of course, you do. 170 00:08:38,506 --> 00:08:41,465 Just out of curiosity, what does it say? 171 00:08:41,467 --> 00:08:44,100 That you should stumble when you walk into a room 172 00:08:44,102 --> 00:08:45,928 so he can catch you. 173 00:08:45,930 --> 00:08:47,054 It's romantic. 174 00:08:47,056 --> 00:08:48,722 Any other tricks? 175 00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:50,831 You could point out that the death rate of single men 176 00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:52,684 is twice that of married men. 177 00:08:53,563 --> 00:08:55,521 Now, that's romantic. 178 00:08:55,523 --> 00:08:57,565 (BOTH LAUGH) 179 00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:59,107 - (PHONE RINGING) - Oh! 180 00:09:01,362 --> 00:09:02,402 (SIGHS) 181 00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:04,363 Vision residence. 182 00:09:04,365 --> 00:09:06,490 - Wanda, darling. - Vision, sweetheart. 183 00:09:06,492 --> 00:09:07,658 Listen, about tonight... 184 00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:11,120 Don't worry, dear. I have everything under control. 185 00:09:11,122 --> 00:09:12,663 Oh, well, that is a relief. 186 00:09:12,665 --> 00:09:15,750 I must confess, I'm really rather nervous. 187 00:09:15,752 --> 00:09:17,418 "Nervous"? Whatever for? 188 00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,930 Well, you know, darling, I still get a little tongue-tied. 189 00:09:20,715 --> 00:09:24,675 Vis, after all this time... 190 00:09:24,677 --> 00:09:26,677 There's an awful lot riding on this one, Wanda. 191 00:09:27,472 --> 00:09:31,552 If tonight doesn't go just so, I think this could be the end. 192 00:09:32,977 --> 00:09:35,895 Well, it's just one night. There's no need to get dramatic. 193 00:09:35,897 --> 00:09:38,814 Look, I think the best course of action is to impress the wife. 194 00:09:38,816 --> 00:09:42,906 And I think the best course of action is to impress the husband. 195 00:09:43,988 --> 00:09:45,112 VISION: Well, wonderful! 196 00:09:45,114 --> 00:09:47,031 Glad to know we're both on the same page. 197 00:09:47,033 --> 00:09:48,616 Until tonight, then, my, darling. 198 00:09:48,618 --> 00:09:50,493 Until tonight. 199 00:09:50,495 --> 00:09:51,705 Oh... 200 00:09:57,585 --> 00:10:00,255 Is your husband tired of you burning his toast? 201 00:10:02,131 --> 00:10:05,091 Try our new and improved ToastMate 2000. 202 00:10:05,093 --> 00:10:07,551 It's the go-to for clever housewives. 203 00:10:07,553 --> 00:10:10,679 Say, this machine has some shine. 204 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:11,889 You said it. 205 00:10:11,891 --> 00:10:14,981 Set the dial and get the taste back into your toast. 206 00:10:20,274 --> 00:10:23,275 Top and bottom heating elements can handle anything 207 00:10:23,277 --> 00:10:27,530 from meatloaf, to cherry pie, to open-faced cheese sandwiches. 208 00:10:27,532 --> 00:10:29,192 (TIMER TICKING) 209 00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:36,664 (TOASTER DINGS) 210 00:10:36,666 --> 00:10:40,501 The all new ToastMate 2000 by Stark Industries. 211 00:10:40,503 --> 00:10:43,423 Forget the past. This is your future. 212 00:10:48,136 --> 00:10:49,346 Here we are! 213 00:10:50,763 --> 00:10:51,763 Oh! 214 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,932 How very atmospheric! 215 00:10:54,934 --> 00:10:57,518 What's going on here, Vision? You blow a fuse? 216 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:01,240 Pardon me while I just go and fetch the lady of the house. 217 00:11:07,572 --> 00:11:08,652 Guess who? 218 00:11:09,449 --> 00:11:11,073 Wanda! 219 00:11:11,075 --> 00:11:12,158 Vision. (GASPS) 220 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,076 Oh! Oh! 221 00:11:14,078 --> 00:11:15,202 Ah... 222 00:11:15,204 --> 00:11:16,620 What is the meaning of this? 223 00:11:16,622 --> 00:11:18,831 (STAMMERING) Well, what is... 224 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,249 Yeah, what is the meaning of... 225 00:11:20,251 --> 00:11:21,375 Oh, the meaning of it! 226 00:11:21,377 --> 00:11:23,695 You want to know the meaning of it and the meaning of it 227 00:11:23,697 --> 00:11:29,884 is that this is the traditional Sokovian greeting of hospitality. 228 00:11:29,886 --> 00:11:32,178 - Guess who? - Is that my host behind me? 229 00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:33,387 It certainly is. 230 00:11:33,389 --> 00:11:35,848 - Lovely to make your acquaintance. - Yes! (CHUCKLES) 231 00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:38,270 See, I forgot to tell you my wife is from Europe. 232 00:11:39,103 --> 00:11:41,228 Oh, how exotic! 233 00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,147 We don't break bread with Bolsheviks. 234 00:11:43,149 --> 00:11:44,648 Oh, hush, Arthur! 235 00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:47,276 Have you no culture at all? (CHUCKLES) 236 00:11:47,278 --> 00:11:48,486 And that dress! 237 00:11:48,488 --> 00:11:53,824 Yes! It's... It's so... Sokovian, is what it is! Yes! 238 00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:57,369 Can I just see you in the kitchen for a moment, sweetheart? 239 00:11:57,371 --> 00:11:58,454 Oh, yes! 240 00:11:58,456 --> 00:11:59,496 (BLOWS CANDLES) 241 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,058 - Who are those people? - What are you wearing? 242 00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:05,002 - Why are they here? - What are you wearing? 243 00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:06,420 Well, it's our anniversary! 244 00:12:06,422 --> 00:12:07,755 Our anniversary of what? 245 00:12:07,757 --> 00:12:10,177 Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you! 246 00:12:11,135 --> 00:12:14,386 That... That man through there is my boss, Mr. Hart! 247 00:12:14,388 --> 00:12:16,269 And his dear lady wife, Mrs. Hart! 248 00:12:16,271 --> 00:12:19,058 The heart on the calendar was an abbreviation! 249 00:12:19,060 --> 00:12:20,733 You move at the speed of sound 250 00:12:20,735 --> 00:12:22,311 and I can make a pen float through the air. 251 00:12:22,313 --> 00:12:23,813 Who needs to abbreviate? 252 00:12:23,815 --> 00:12:26,941 Darling, listen, it's all romantic to do the candles, the music, 253 00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:28,859 - that stunning outfit... - Well... 254 00:12:28,861 --> 00:12:31,326 I don't wanna be unappreciative, but right now... 255 00:12:31,328 --> 00:12:33,739 Your boss and his wife are expecting a home-cooked meal. 256 00:12:33,741 --> 00:12:34,751 - Exactly. - (SIGHS) 257 00:12:35,874 --> 00:12:36,999 Any chance they'd settle 258 00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:39,662 for a single chocolate-covered strawberry split three ways? 259 00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:40,996 Uh... 260 00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:42,598 I might have a better idea. 261 00:12:45,169 --> 00:12:46,460 Hmm. 262 00:12:46,462 --> 00:12:48,219 So I said, "If we orient the forms 263 00:12:48,221 --> 00:12:50,798 horizontally rather than vertically, 264 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:54,176 we can use twice the paper, we can bill twice the cost". 265 00:12:54,178 --> 00:12:55,678 (LAUGHS) 266 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,728 You truly are a pioneer! 267 00:12:57,730 --> 00:13:00,391 But the larger purpose of the forms is... 268 00:13:00,393 --> 00:13:02,309 Was to analyze our input and our output. 269 00:13:02,311 --> 00:13:03,321 Huh. 270 00:13:04,355 --> 00:13:06,145 You're awfully dense, aren't you, Vision? 271 00:13:09,026 --> 00:13:10,782 Oh, Agnes! You're a life-saver! 272 00:13:10,784 --> 00:13:12,492 What kind of housewife would I be 273 00:13:12,494 --> 00:13:15,698 if I didn't have a gourmet meal for four just lying about the place? 274 00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:16,701 - (LAUGHS) - Well... 275 00:13:16,703 --> 00:13:19,410 Not that Ralph ever wants to eat anything but baked beans 276 00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:22,747 which explains a lot about his personal appeal, mind you. 277 00:13:22,749 --> 00:13:24,790 - Oh, my! - Oh! Oh! 278 00:13:24,792 --> 00:13:26,834 Do you think Wanda needs help in the kitchen? 279 00:13:26,836 --> 00:13:29,628 We haven't any tidbits or tartlets out here, 280 00:13:29,630 --> 00:13:30,969 nary a pig in a blanket. 281 00:13:30,971 --> 00:13:32,423 No, that... (CHUCKLES) 282 00:13:32,425 --> 00:13:34,639 - No, that's so kind of you, Mrs. Hart. - (CLATTERING) 283 00:13:34,641 --> 00:13:36,844 But I'm sure she's absolutely fine in there! 284 00:13:36,846 --> 00:13:39,346 Oh, thank you, Agnes. I think I've got it covered from here. 285 00:13:39,348 --> 00:13:40,556 - Oh, are you sure, dear? - Hmm. 286 00:13:40,558 --> 00:13:43,893 Many hands make light work. And many mouths make good gossip. 287 00:13:43,895 --> 00:13:45,394 You're so naughty! (LAUGHS) 288 00:13:45,396 --> 00:13:47,396 Oh, shall I just pre-heat the oven then, dear? 289 00:13:47,398 --> 00:13:49,815 - That won't be necessary. - Oh, All right, then. 290 00:13:49,817 --> 00:13:52,818 Well, I know you're in a pinch so this menu can be done in a snap. 291 00:13:52,820 --> 00:13:55,613 Lobster Thermidor with mini-minced meat turnovers to start. 292 00:13:55,615 --> 00:13:57,247 Chicken à la King with twice-cooked 293 00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:58,789 new potatoes for your second course, 294 00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:01,827 and Steak Diane and mint jellies for your main. 295 00:14:01,829 --> 00:14:03,496 Do you set your own jellies, dear? 296 00:14:03,498 --> 00:14:05,581 - Yes. - Good girl. 297 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,666 Recipe cards are on the counter there. 298 00:14:07,668 --> 00:14:09,001 Bon appétit! 299 00:14:09,003 --> 00:14:10,413 (CHUCKLES) Oh! 300 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,007 Oh, oh. 301 00:14:15,009 --> 00:14:16,133 You men stay put. 302 00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:18,134 I sense a domestic emergency, so... 303 00:14:18,136 --> 00:14:19,726 Mrs. Hart, please don't. You can't. 304 00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:21,514 You... Please... 305 00:14:21,516 --> 00:14:25,643 ♪ Yeah, take out the papers and the trash ♪ 306 00:14:25,645 --> 00:14:28,175 ♪ Or you won't get no spending cash ♪ 307 00:14:29,398 --> 00:14:31,778 ♪ If you don't scrub the kitchen floor ♪ 308 00:14:32,985 --> 00:14:34,943 ♪ You ain't gonna rock and roll no more ♪ 309 00:14:34,945 --> 00:14:36,825 ♪ Yakety yak! Don't talk back ♪ 310 00:14:39,534 --> 00:14:40,534 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 311 00:14:41,411 --> 00:14:43,899 Well, why don't we have a nice sing-a-long, 312 00:14:43,901 --> 00:14:45,444 all together then, shall we? 313 00:14:48,334 --> 00:14:49,954 (GASPS) Oh, no, too much! 314 00:14:53,047 --> 00:14:55,047 Oh, no, not enough! 315 00:14:55,925 --> 00:14:58,467 (SINGING) ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ 316 00:14:58,469 --> 00:15:00,302 ♪ Ee-I-Ee-I-O ♪ 317 00:15:00,304 --> 00:15:02,304 ♪ And on that farm he had a... ♪ 318 00:15:04,725 --> 00:15:06,350 ♪ Had a... ♪ 319 00:15:06,352 --> 00:15:07,435 Pig. 320 00:15:07,437 --> 00:15:09,061 ♪ Ee-I-Ee-I-O ♪ 321 00:15:09,063 --> 00:15:10,146 - ♪ With a... ♪ - ♪ Oink, oink... ♪ 322 00:15:10,148 --> 00:15:11,272 - ♪ Here and a... ♪ - ♪ Oink, oink... ♪ 323 00:15:11,274 --> 00:15:12,940 - ♪ There ♪ - ♪ Here an oink, there an oink ♪ 324 00:15:12,942 --> 00:15:14,156 ♪ Everywhere an oink, oink ♪ 325 00:15:14,158 --> 00:15:16,318 ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ 326 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,903 ♪ Ee-I-Ee-I-O ♪ 327 00:15:17,905 --> 00:15:19,387 Oh, what was I supposed to do next? 328 00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:20,856 Oh, what was the main course again? 329 00:15:20,858 --> 00:15:22,283 It was... Steak... 330 00:15:22,285 --> 00:15:23,743 No. Steak... 331 00:15:23,745 --> 00:15:25,578 Steak... Diane! 332 00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:26,630 Yes? 333 00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:30,583 Oh, I think that must be my wife summoning me. 334 00:15:30,585 --> 00:15:32,205 She calls you "Diane?" 335 00:15:33,212 --> 00:15:36,046 Yes, it's her pet name for me. 336 00:15:36,048 --> 00:15:37,337 (SIGHS) 337 00:15:37,339 --> 00:15:40,179 I'm just coming, Fred. 338 00:15:41,971 --> 00:15:43,101 Excuse me a moment. 339 00:15:46,976 --> 00:15:48,146 (GASPS) Oh, no. 340 00:15:49,771 --> 00:15:51,312 How can I be of assistance? 341 00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:53,529 Well, the chicken is no longer a chicken 342 00:15:53,531 --> 00:15:54,899 and the lobsters just flew the coop 343 00:15:54,901 --> 00:15:57,026 so the steak is the last man standing. 344 00:15:57,028 --> 00:16:00,479 It says here I can cut down the prep time with a meat tenderizer. 345 00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,531 Excellent plan. Where's the tenderizer? 346 00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:04,325 - I'm looking at him. - Ah. 347 00:16:04,327 --> 00:16:05,451 Hoo-hoo in there! 348 00:16:05,453 --> 00:16:07,745 WANDA: (GASPS) Hoo-hoo back to you! 349 00:16:07,747 --> 00:16:08,829 Okay. 350 00:16:08,831 --> 00:16:12,551 Finish the meat, find the lobsters. I'll be right back. 351 00:16:14,128 --> 00:16:15,544 I hope you're hungry. 352 00:16:15,546 --> 00:16:16,879 Starved, is more like it. 353 00:16:16,881 --> 00:16:19,501 My head is starting to feel woozy. 354 00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:23,542 Were either of you aware 355 00:16:23,544 --> 00:16:27,431 that married men are killing single men at an alarming rate? 356 00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:29,600 - What are you going on about? - (LOUD THUD) 357 00:16:29,602 --> 00:16:30,893 And what's going on in there? 358 00:16:30,895 --> 00:16:33,521 Whoo-hoo! Ho-ho! (GASPS) 359 00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:35,063 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 360 00:16:36,234 --> 00:16:37,858 Who could that be? 361 00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:39,120 Coming! 362 00:16:40,238 --> 00:16:42,196 Oh, you didn't answer the back door. 363 00:16:42,198 --> 00:16:43,906 For your upside-down cake. 364 00:16:43,908 --> 00:16:45,908 Oh! Hi, I... 365 00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:46,992 Who was that? 366 00:16:46,994 --> 00:16:48,577 - A salesman! - Telegram! 367 00:16:48,579 --> 00:16:50,454 A man selling telegrams. 368 00:16:50,456 --> 00:16:52,546 Wouldn't you know it. Good news is more expensive. 369 00:16:53,418 --> 00:16:54,674 I couldn't find the lobsters 370 00:16:54,676 --> 00:16:56,669 and did you want the meat tender or pulverized? 371 00:16:56,671 --> 00:16:57,841 Oh, dear. 372 00:16:59,507 --> 00:17:03,217 Well. I think tonight's going swimmingly. 373 00:17:03,219 --> 00:17:05,553 Anyone for Parcheesi? 374 00:17:05,555 --> 00:17:09,014 - My head is spinning. - Oh, Mrs. Hart... 375 00:17:09,016 --> 00:17:11,016 Did you hear that? My wife's head is spinning. 376 00:17:11,018 --> 00:17:13,228 Generally speaking, I don't like her head to do that. 377 00:17:15,481 --> 00:17:16,651 Time to improvise. 378 00:17:17,892 --> 00:17:19,183 You know, I'm beginning to think 379 00:17:19,185 --> 00:17:21,402 you're not management material, Vision. 380 00:17:21,404 --> 00:17:23,112 You know, I had high hopes for you. 381 00:17:23,114 --> 00:17:24,912 But from what I've seen here tonight, 382 00:17:24,914 --> 00:17:26,824 you can barely keep it together. 383 00:17:26,826 --> 00:17:28,124 I mean, look around. 384 00:17:28,126 --> 00:17:30,126 There's all this chaos going on in your household. 385 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,371 Now, when are we gonna eat? 386 00:17:32,373 --> 00:17:33,953 Dinner is served. 387 00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:36,334 VISION: Ah! 388 00:17:37,587 --> 00:17:39,177 Breakfast for dinner? 389 00:17:40,673 --> 00:17:41,756 How very... 390 00:17:41,758 --> 00:17:43,098 European. 391 00:17:44,177 --> 00:17:46,427 Ooh! Let's have a toast! 392 00:17:47,221 --> 00:17:50,514 To my lovely and talented wife. 393 00:17:50,516 --> 00:17:52,850 To our esteemed guests. 394 00:17:52,852 --> 00:17:54,310 Yes. Cin cin. 395 00:17:54,312 --> 00:17:55,312 Cheers. 396 00:17:57,690 --> 00:17:59,523 Well, please eat before it gets cold. 397 00:17:59,525 --> 00:18:01,405 - MRS. HART: Hmm? - Oh, Mrs. Hart, allow me. 398 00:18:02,945 --> 00:18:05,946 So, where did you two move from? 399 00:18:05,948 --> 00:18:07,015 What brought you here? 400 00:18:07,017 --> 00:18:08,247 How long have you been married? 401 00:18:08,249 --> 00:18:10,406 And why don't you have children yet? 402 00:18:14,255 --> 00:18:19,710 I think what my wife means to say is that we moved from... 403 00:18:19,712 --> 00:18:21,422 Yes, we moved from... 404 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,423 And we were married... 405 00:18:24,425 --> 00:18:27,843 Yes, yes, we were married in... 406 00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:31,388 Well? Moved from where? Married when? 407 00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:32,527 Now, patience, Arthur. 408 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,142 They're setting up their story. Let them tell it. 409 00:18:35,144 --> 00:18:36,352 We... 410 00:18:36,354 --> 00:18:38,144 Our story... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 411 00:18:39,398 --> 00:18:41,565 Yes, what exactly is your story? 412 00:18:41,567 --> 00:18:43,447 Oh, just leave the poor kids alone. 413 00:18:44,403 --> 00:18:46,943 No, really, I mean, I think it's a perfectly simple question. 414 00:18:47,698 --> 00:18:48,948 Honestly. 415 00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:50,160 Why did you come here? 416 00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:52,871 Why? 417 00:18:54,622 --> 00:18:56,452 Damn it, why? Why did you... 418 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,170 (CHOKING) 419 00:19:01,379 --> 00:19:03,079 Oh, Arthur, stop it. 420 00:19:06,092 --> 00:19:08,252 Stop it. (CHUCKLES) 421 00:19:09,053 --> 00:19:10,219 Stop it. 422 00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:11,231 (CHOKING) 423 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:15,230 - MRS. HART: Stop it. Stop it. - (MR. HART CONTINUES CHOKING) 424 00:19:16,686 --> 00:19:18,727 Stop it. (CHUCKLES) 425 00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:20,109 Stop it. 426 00:19:22,024 --> 00:19:23,107 Stop it. 427 00:19:23,109 --> 00:19:24,358 Stop it. 428 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:25,450 (GROANS) 429 00:19:26,404 --> 00:19:28,529 Stop it. Stop it. 430 00:19:28,531 --> 00:19:29,581 Stop it. 431 00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:31,933 Stop it. 432 00:19:31,935 --> 00:19:32,975 Vision, help him. 433 00:19:41,169 --> 00:19:42,799 (COUGHING) 434 00:19:47,845 --> 00:19:49,345 Let me help you up. 435 00:19:49,347 --> 00:19:50,347 Give me your hand. 436 00:19:52,138 --> 00:19:53,478 All right, steady on, sir. 437 00:19:55,016 --> 00:19:56,646 (GASPING) 438 00:19:58,186 --> 00:20:01,270 Well, would you look at the time? (CHUCKLES) 439 00:20:01,272 --> 00:20:03,682 Yes. We'd better be going. 440 00:20:04,972 --> 00:20:07,568 Well... Are you both all right? 441 00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:10,240 We had such a lovely time. 442 00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:14,075 This guest is leaving your home. 443 00:20:14,077 --> 00:20:15,659 (LAUGHS) 444 00:20:15,661 --> 00:20:18,496 Yes, thank you for coming. (CHUCKLES) 445 00:20:18,498 --> 00:20:19,997 (SIGHS) 446 00:20:19,999 --> 00:20:21,540 You made me proud tonight, son. 447 00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:22,840 First thing Monday morning, 448 00:20:22,842 --> 00:20:24,532 you and me are gonna have a little chat. 449 00:20:25,296 --> 00:20:27,331 We'll see about that promotion. 450 00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:28,793 Yes, sir! Thank you, sir! 451 00:20:31,469 --> 00:20:32,469 MR. HART: Thank you. 452 00:20:36,099 --> 00:20:37,229 Oh... 453 00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:40,814 What a charming door knocker. 454 00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:43,534 Good night! 455 00:20:48,069 --> 00:20:49,279 (BOTH EXHALE IN RELIEF) 456 00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:51,613 (SIGHS) 457 00:20:54,784 --> 00:20:56,951 We are an unusual couple, ya know? 458 00:20:56,953 --> 00:20:59,328 Oh, I don't think that was ever in question. 459 00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:03,749 Well, what I mean is... We don't have an anniversary. 460 00:21:03,751 --> 00:21:06,127 - Huh. - Or a song. 461 00:21:06,129 --> 00:21:07,670 Or even wedding rings. 462 00:21:07,672 --> 00:21:09,713 Well, we could remedy that. 463 00:21:09,715 --> 00:21:11,298 Today could be our anniversary. 464 00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,968 Of what? Surviving our first dinner party? 465 00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,512 Precisely. And our song could be? 466 00:21:16,514 --> 00:21:17,888 Yakety Yak, naturally. 467 00:21:17,890 --> 00:21:18,890 - Naturally. - Hmm. 468 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:21,560 And the rings? 469 00:21:22,937 --> 00:21:24,437 Well, couldn't you make some for us? 470 00:21:32,613 --> 00:21:33,613 I do. 471 00:21:34,699 --> 00:21:35,699 Do you? 472 00:21:36,909 --> 00:21:39,119 Yes. I do. 473 00:21:40,913 --> 00:21:42,783 And they lived happily ever after. 474 00:26:32,539 --> 00:26:35,939 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 31959

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