Original subtitles

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ What a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Captain, there's something stinky in the main cargo bay.

Well, Jim, you know what to do with stinky cargo.

Yes, sir!

Come on, Bob. We have another stinky one.

Ooh, boy!

Take it nice and slow, Bob.

You can never be too careful.

- Right, Jim! - We should be able to spot...

I mean, smell that crate a mile away.

Wait a minute. There it is!

New York City! The Big Apple.

My kind of town. The Empire State Building.

42nd Street, Times Square!

Not to mention the very tall palm trees, the coconuts and lots and lots of sand!

Wow, Manhattan Island sure is great!

Wait a minute, my cherubic chum.

I think perhaps maybe we're not on Manhattan Island after all.

Boy.

Here it is.

"How to Cook Meerkat and Warthog."

I will now present my theory to you, Pumbaa.

- Ready? - Ready!

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Wrong slide. New York City, population seven million persons.

Desert island, population zero.

New York City, very high skyscraper buildings.

Desert island, palm trees.

New York City, the center of art and culture.

Desert island, sand.

This has led me to a simple conclusion.

Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know, I know, I know!

We're not in New York City. We're stranded on a desert island, right?

No. We're lost. Lost in time.

You see, somewhere along our way, across the ocean or sea,

we must've passed through a time warp, my porcine pal,

which sent us whooshing back through history to Manhattan Island

before it was all fixed up.

Gee, Timon, that sounds complicated.

Maybe we should ask him what he thinks.

Might I be able to eat ya, I mean, help you two?

Yes. As a matter of fact,

my bestest, best friend and I are looking for Manhattan Island.

This is Manhattan Island

and I'm, one of those tour guide fellas.

Hey, I'm no not-smart person,

but you sure don't look like a tour guide to me.

What do I look like?

You look like some starving, stranded shipwrecked guy

that could use a bath and a good tailor.

I'll be right back.

- How's this? - Now, that's better.

Good. You had a point. Now, any tour guide

worth his saltwater knows to see Manhattan Island,

you begin with a ride through Central Park.

So, everybody into the pot... sorry. I mean, carriage.

Yeah, boy! Let's go, Pumbaa. Come on.

But, Timon, Central Park? We live in a jungle.

We see trees and birds and wildlife and muggers every day.

I wanna see the landmarks. I wanna wake up in the city that never sleeps.

I wanna see a Broadway show. Guys and Dolls.

Hey, you think you can score us some tickets to a hot Broadway show, fruitcake?

This must be a hot show, Timon, because I'm sure hot.

You've gotta expect some of these outdoor seats to be a little warm, Pumbaa.

After all, it's "Shakespeare in the Park."

Well, I don't mean to complain,

but our seats sure seem to be pretty far from the stage.

As a matter of fact, I can't even see the stage.

Don't worry about that. The show comes later.

Didn't I mention this here's a dinner theater?

- Dinner? - Boy, boy!

- When is dinner served? - Soon. Very soon.

But first we'll start with some appetizers.

And some salt, just a pinch of pepper here.

Boy!

Gee, Timon, it's getting awfully very hot in here.

Try not to complain, Pumbaa.

These are the best seats he could get on such short notice.

But dinner sure smells good.

Yeah! It sure does, pal.

It kind of smells like...

like...

like...

Us!

Timon, if I didn't know better, I'd say he's trying to eat us.

Wow. I heard New York was rough,

but when the tour guides wanna eat you...

I love barbecue.

But sometimes I eat healthy.

Hey, now I hate croutons!

Boy! Double boy!

Now, now, now... wait a minute, my hungry man.

You don't wanna eat us.

- I don't? - He don't?

- No, you don't. - Why not?

Yeah, Timon, why not?

Well, just look at him. He's a warthog.

I mean, come on.

Who wants to eat anything with the word "wart" in it?

I just the thought of Pumbaa should turn your stomach upside down,

inside out, give you the willies.

Thanks, Timon.

Well, then, If I can't eat him, I'll eat you!

You don't want Timon either.

And what's wrong with him?

Well, look at him. He's all scrawny and skinny

and bony and thinny.

Yeah. Skin and bones. See?

I know the feeling. Well, you may not be Grade A,

but starvers can't be choosers.

What I wouldn't do for a big, old, well-done New York steak!

If you don't eat us, we'll help you get off this island

and back to the mainland with all the main courses.

The mainland? Alright. It's a deal.

But if it doesn't work, I think you know this part.

Ready, Pumbaa?

I...

can't...

hold it...

much longer...

Timon!

Please put your tray table and seat in their upright positions.

In case the cabin loses oxygen, use this.

And if there's an accidental water landing,

this flotation device can be used as a flotation device.

Here's a peanut. Bon voyage-y.

Pumbaa, I didn't say "go!"

Geronimo-ho-ho!

I feel like Cary Grant.

Pumbaa, the plane! The plane!

It better work this time, kitty cat.

Tell me when, Timon.

No, you don't. Give me those!

You stand on the other side.

Hey, Timon, I'm getting the feeling you don't trust me at all anymore.

You're right.

Bon voyage-y. Again.

Hey, Timon, I don't think it worked so very well.

Get the plane off me.

Hurry, Pumbaa! He hasn't quite had the time to regain consciousness.

This time it's gonna work, or my name ain't Timon Berkowitz!

Contract!

So long, fellas.

Boy!

You did it! You got the hungry guy off the island! Yay!

It must be nice to be truly a smart genius, Timon.

Yes, it is, Pumbaa. It really is.

But, Timon, I was just thinking.

Now that you've gone and made the hungry man very happy and gone,

how are we gonna get off the island?

Your genius didn't figure that out, did it?

Now we're going to starve!

We're going to be hungry and wishing for food and there isn't any.

We're gonna starve!

Snap out of it, Pumbaa.

We'll be fine, good and okay.

We've got survival instincts, you know?

We can build a shelter out of shells and we can make sandwiches out of sand.

And even if we're here for 50 years, we will survive.

Pumbaa, it worked! It worked! We caught it! We caught it!

Behold, the gourmetess salivati, the most delicious bug in the world.

Hey!

What's the big idea?

Just a slip of the tongue.

Sorry, man. That delicious bug of yours just looked too darn delicious to resist.

And I thought you were bad.

What kind of animal is he, Timon?

He's an anteater. And from the looks of it,

I'd say he ate the uncles too.

Say, you guys got anything else to eat?

I'm famished, man

and I just don't got the energy, you know, to get up, and...

Hey, Forrest Lump. You.

That delicious bug you just ate was a rare delicacy,

hard to find and even harder to catch.

They can't be that hard to catch.

For your information, darling, just to catch a glimpse of one takes agility,

cunning and split-second timing.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to take offense.

What I meant to say is that they can't be

that hard to catch for a fella like you.

Moi?

I mean, you must catch them by the dozen,

seeing as how you yourself possess all those rare qualities...

cunning, agility, split-second...

timing.

Well, yes, thank you, but...

Why, you must be the best bug catcher in the whole universe.

Pumbaa, am I blushing?

Well, I don't know if I'd go so far as to say universe.

Maybe the tristate area. The world, maybe.

The solar system I'd consider. But the universe?

The best bug catcher in the whole universe,

that is, next to him.

You talking about me?

Why, sure. Look at you.

A regular bug-hunting machine, with a powerful snout,

hooves like shovels, razor-sharp vision.

He must catch a heapful of more bugs than that little guy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you kidding?

Pumbaa catch more bugs than me?

How do you think he got this gut? Digesting, not catching.

In case you've forgotten, the phrase isn't "eat like a meerkat."

It's "eat like a pig."

Say, you gonna just sit there and let him talk to you that way?

He's right, Timon. You shouldn't talk to me that way.

Some thanks he's showing after you went to all that trouble

to catch that rare bug.

Yeah, some thanks you're showing

after I went to all that trouble to catch that rare bug.

But we caught it together, Timon.

But I did most of the work.

You know I always do my share of the bug gathering.

And more than your share of the bug eating.

I could catch just as many bugs as you if I wanted to.

Sure! In your little picky dreams!

Now, now, now. Settle down, boys.

No need for all these fighting words.

I know of a much better way we can figure out

which one of you is the best bug catcher.

Now... the rules are simple, man.

Whichever one of you brings me back

the most bugs in one hour is the winner.

- Any questions? - What do we win?

What do we win? We win the self-serving, ego-boosting satisfaction

of knowing one of us is better than the other.

Mainly me better than you, Pumbaa. Now just get ready.

On your mark.

Get set.

Hunt.

It's a big log.

You need some help, Timon?

Help, Pumbaa? Don't you get it?

This is a contest,

a thing wherein one of us seeks to outdo the other.

But don't you wanna work together?

After all, we're still friends.

Yet that friendship is temporarily null and voidified.

Hang up your Hakuna Matata hat.

It's me against you now. Friend against friend.

But what about cooperation?

Pumbaa, don't start with me.

Do you really think I need your help to catch bugs? Be serious.

So, you don't wanna cooperate?

No, I don't wanna cooperate.

Are you sure?

This is competition, Pumbaa, the exact opposite of cooperation.

Well, if that's what you want, Timon, then that's what you'll get.

No help from me.

Man, it looks like it's gonna be close.

I guess it's time to eat.

I mean, count.

We'll calculate yours first.

443.

Now for yours.

You had...

443 also.

How about that?

Looks like it's aqual-pasqual.

Even Steven.

- Even Steven? - Yeah. Looks that way.

Guess we're gonna have to have ourselves a little...

tie-breaker.

Tie-breaker?

Maybe you two should try again for another hour or so.

You know, gather up some more bugs.

More bugs?

Now, now, fellas.

What are you gonna do now?

Nobody said I couldn't eat the bugs.

We're gonna help you un-count those calories.

Get our bugs back!

Say, look, Timon.

It's the gourmetess salivati. The one you caught.

And that means you caught one more bug than me.

You're the winner.

Now I'm really hungry.

What do you say we call it even?

It's a deal.