Original subtitles

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ What a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Pumbaa, guess what.

Ugg! What?

My bestest best friend Fred is coming to visit.

But aren't I your bestest best friend, Timon?

You're my new bestest best friend.

I'm talking pre-Pumbaa days.

Fred and I were one zany pair.

He's always pulling practical jokes.

A handshake buzzer.

A squirting flower.

Excuse me.

That was the whoopee cushion. He loved that.

Boy, could I make him laugh.

My hyena jokes slayed him every time.

Ooh, I better think of some new ones.

I got 'em.

Tell it to me. I want to hear 'em. I want to hear 'em.

Well, if you insist.

Ladies and germs, bugs and larvae, get ready to bust your cocoons,

'cause I'm hot tonight.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Anybody see the headlines today?

Some mad scientist crossed a hyena with a piece of celery

and made a laughing stalk.

That's a good one!

All right, all right.

What did one hyena say to the other when they reached the top of Mt. Everest?

High enough for ya?

Get it? High enough?

I get it! Ha, ha, ha!

Timon, you're killing me.

Did you hear about the hyena who lost his voice?

He had laughingitis.

Ha, ha!

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

I'm good.

You know Timon, with you and Fred being old friends,

maybe I should leave so you two can catch up.

Pumbaa, you're not going anywhere.

You're my best friend.

I'd never do anything to make you feel left out.

Fred!

Hey, buddy, how's tricks?

First of all, Timon, I have changed my ways.

No more tricks.

You're not kidding?

No, sir. I do not play practical jokes anymore.

Thanks to clean living, I have been reformed.

I hope it will not hurt our friendship, however.

Of course not. Yieee!

You're not going to get me with the whoopee cushion this time.

Of course not, Timon.

I told you, I've changed my ways.

I use a boxing glove now.

You really got me.

Timon!

Hello. You must be Pumbaa. I'm sooo pleased to meet you.

Here. Have some mixed nuts.

Gee, thanks.

Yaa!

The last one's always the funniest!

You want funny?

Wait till you hear my latest hyena jokes.

Yeah, Timon has some great ones. Tell him the one where the mad scientist

crosses a hyena with celery and makes a laughing stalk.

Listen to this one.

What did one hyena say to the other when they reached the top of Mt. Everest?

Pumbaa...

Shh, shh. Don't ruin the punch line.

High enough for you?

Tell another one.

Yes. Do tell another one, Pumbaa.

Okay, did you hear the one about the hyena who lost its voice?

It had laughingitis!

Pumbaa, you slay me, baby.

Yes, Pumbaa, you're a real ham.

And if you were a real friend,

you'd leave and give Fred and I some time to catch up.

Aw, Timon come on, Pumbaa doesn't have to leave.

Why don't we cook up some fun, the way we used to?

Yeah. Let's go bowling for buzzards.

I always go bowling for buzzards.

I know. Let's play turtle tennis.

Splendid idea, my friend.

Whoa, Pumbaa, you really are the brains of this outfit, aren't ya?

I'll serve.

I've got it. I've got it!

Timon!

Could we play something else now?

Okay, Pumbaa, my friend.

Let's go fishing for flamingos.

Whaa! Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

Reel me in!

Grab him, Timon!

Wow! This sure turned out to be some fun.

Yeah!

Hey, Timon, are you up to some hippo hockey?

No.

How about giraffe jumping?

No.

Badger boxing?

I don't think so.

You don't seem to be your usual, perky self.

Have I, in an attempt to make your guest feel welcome,

alienated you and strained our cherished friendship?

Timon, buddy.

We never meant to make you mad. And we're gonna make it up to you.

You will?

You just sit down and relax under that tree over there.

Pumbaa and I will get you those squishy beetles you like so much.

Well, okay.

That's sure a nice thing to do, Fred,

I see why Timon calls you his old bestest best friend.

Yeah! Listen, don't you realize that tree he's sitting under

is full of sleeping howler monkeys?

All you have to do is nudge it with your tusks, and bam!

The whole bunch will fall on Timon howling and screaming.

It'll scare the bugs right out of him.

But Fred that's not what friends do to other friends.

Come on, Pumbaa. It'll be the best practical joke ever.

Only a shallow, mean, uncaring, heartless, insensitive mook

would play a humiliating practical joke on a best friend.

I'm going to find my bestest best pal the bugs we promised.

Ooh, what a party pooper.

Hey, Timon!

Let me get this straight.

Are you suggesting that I play a humiliating practical joke

on my best pal, Pumbaa?

You guessed it. Will you do it?

Sure!

Here, beetle, beetle, beetle, beetle.

Hey, Pumbaa.

Timon!

Are you still mad at me and Fred?

Hah. Me, mad?

How could I stay mad? I'm your pal, Pumbaa.

I'm gonna help you look for bugs.

As a matter of fact,

it now occurs to me I just so happen to see

one grade "A" prime choice beetle ready for consumption

right over there.

Just follow the, dotted line here.

Timon, it's so nice to be bug hunting with my bestest best pal.

Pumbaa, stay on the line.

I guess Fred is fun, but I just can't be friends with someone

who would play a humiliating, degrading,

mean-spirited practical joke on a good buddy.

You can't?

Of course not, Timon.

Friendship is based on trust, honesty, and mutual respect.

That's why we have such a strong friendship.

Is that why?

So, where is this incredible, edible bug?

Is it here on the big green square that almost looks like it could be a trap?

No! Wait a minute!

There's one last thing I forgot to tell you.

Okay.

I'm now going to step forward onto this thing

that looks like a trap,

but isn't!

Whoa!

Hey, Timon.

I don't hear Fred.

Do you think he's okay?

He's fine. I'm the one breaking a funny bone.

Timon, he could've bruised his little knees,

or twisted his little ankle,

or shattered his itty-bitty spine.

- Fred! - Fred!

- Fred! - Fred!

I think we should jump in to see if he's all right.

But, Pumbaa...

You really fell for that one.

Guess you should've brought one of these.

What a couple of mooks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got us good that time.

Aah!

Hey, you guys, come on. It was just a joke.

Guys?

Hey, Pumbaa, want to go flamingo fishing?

Just you and me?

You bet!

Guys!

Aaaaaaah!

Pumbaa, slow down. There's nothing to be afraid of.

Slow down!

Yikes!

Yieee!

Pumbaa, what is wrong with you?

This is yet another big differing unlikeness between the two of us.

You, on one hand, are very afraid of most everything.

While I, on the other hand, am afraid of mostly nothing.

Now, what scared you, bacon boy?

Over there.

Eyah!

See? It scared you, too.

No, no, no, Pumbaa.

That was not a scream of scariness.

That was a scream of pure elation.

Do you not realize what this is?

We have accidentally happened onto

the lost, forgotten, abandoned temple shrine

of the sacred, glorious golden fruit fly.

So?

So, hidden somewhere deep inside this cursed temple

is the prized jewel-encrusted, and very worth a lot of money...

Glorious golden fruit fly.

Did you say...

cursed?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's some old cock 'n bull story

about a monster mummy beetle that protects this temple.

But that's a bunch of malarkey.

Mum-mum-mummy beetle!

Come on, Pumbaa.

What, you're not coming?

Fine, then.

You can stay out here...

all alone...

very, very alone.

So very, very, very alone.

Yieee!

Okay, I'll go in.

Just promise me one thing, Timon.

Promise me nothing will happen to me.

If anything happens to you, Pumbaa, it'll be over my dead body.

Wow.

These old temples sure are damp and crazy and scary.

It's no wonder people think they're cursed.

Aaah!

Pumbaa, is there a problem?

I saw the mummy beetle.

He's scary and big and he's got lots of arms, and he's right over there.

You mean, that? It's just a coat rack.

Sorry.

Now come on, ya big scaredy-hog.

Beetle my...

Now, I'm no expert in hieroglyphics, but, if I'm not mistaken,

this says that to get to the treasure, we take a left at the gas station,

then go two blocks north to the old barn...

that doesn't seem right.

Timon! Look out! Outta the way!

I wish you'd be more careful Pumba.

This is a very old temple.

You already caused that rock to come loose.

But the mummy!

Will you stop it with the mummy talk?

It's your hallucinigation.

Now come on.

You know, legend has it

that no living thing has ever actually seen

the prized, jewel-encrusted, and very worth a lot of money,

glorious golden fruit fly!

But, I can sense that we're getting very, very close.

Timon!

And what exactly were you planning on doing with that Pumba?

Give me that.

But... the statue...

and then it...

and then it tried to...

How many times do I have to tell you? There's nothing to be afraid of!

These statues are made out of hard, stony rock stuff.

See? It's not alive.

Now come on.

Yieee!

Pumbaa.

Pumbaa, will you come on? You're wasting time.

I'm telling you, Timon, this place is cursed.

There's a monster mummy beetle running loose,

and it's trying to kill us. And make us dead.

Why don't you describe this monster mummy beetle to me Pumba,

just in case I run into it?

Well, he's really tall...

just like you,

and he's got four arms and two legs...

just like you,

and he's all wound up in a bunch of stinking, decaying bandages...

just like...

Y-yieee!

Pumbaa, there you are.

Look what I found.

We made it!

This is the place!

And there it is.

Inside that box is the prized,

jewel-encrusted, and very worth a lot of money,

glorious golden fruit fly. We're gonna be rich!

Hoo-hoo!

But what about the mummy curse?

Pumbaa...

I don't want to hear another peep outta you about that mummy.

How many times do I have to tell you?

There's no such thing!

Then what do you call that?

Hey, hit the road, pal.

We've already staked claim to this treasure and,

not that I'm a medical-type doctor or anything,

but you really should see somebody about getting these bandages changed.

T-t-t-timon!

You just relax here while I go get the box,

then we'll be outta here without incident.

Hey! I made it. No problem.

I got it.

Pumbaa, I got it!

Hoo-hoo!

What a cinch.

You know, you'd think they'd put in some sort of traps or alarms something.

It's the curse!

- Whooo-ooh! - Whooo-ooh!

We hope you've enjoyed tonight's performance

of the destruction of the lost, forgotten abandoned temple shrine

of the sacred, glorious golden fruit fly.

Please exit through the doors to your left.

Thank you.

Oye! What's the big idea, Pumbaa?

You nearly knocked the wind outta me jumpin' on me like that.

But, Timon...

Don't "But, Timon" me.

I've had it with you and your strange behavior.

You're creepin' me out.

Whatever's in that coffer better be worth all the trouble.

It's worth it. It's worth it.

You just wait and see.

Jacker cracks?

No, no. This is just the box, Pumbaa.

The real prize is inside.

Crud.

Timon,

is that the prized, jewel-encrusted, and supposedly worth-a-lot-of-money,

glorious golden fruit fly?

Yup.

You mean to tell me that we went through all of that,

and this is it?

And how much exactly would you say it is approximately worth?

With or without the caramel corn?

Now, now, now, Pumbaa. Settle down.

You know, I forgot to tell you earlier,

there is one thing I'm very, very afraid of.

And what is that?

An angry warthog.

Yaaah!