Original subtitles

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ What a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Timon & Pumbaa ♪

Pumbaa, can we pick up the pace?

I'm working without a protective layer of fat here.

Timon... before we visit my uncle Boaris...

No! There's something wrong with your uncle, isn't there?

Don't tell me! He works out too much.

Thinks he's a mouse. He's addicted to Elvis memorabilia.

No, there's nothing wrong with him.

But it's just that the last time we visited one of my relatives...

Not the cousin Mildred thing again!

After all, she is a warthog.

I was just pointing them out.

Just promise me you'll be nice.

Pumbaa, it's me! I exude niceness.

It's just that I want to make a good impression, Timon.

Uncle Boaris is a big deal here in Russia.

He's the principal dancer at the Royal Boarshoi Ballet.

Oops!

He just might be the bestest ballet dancer in the whole world!

Well, Pumbaa, if you wanna make a good impression on your uncle,

you're in good company!

- I am? - Pumbaa, have you forgotten?

I am a musician and a true musician, such as I,

always keeps his cherished instruments nearby.

Now where did I put it?

It's somewhere here under your barbells

and my lawn mower and your ball of barbed wire,

my banana peel collection, your melting stick of butter...

my snow disc, my tricycle...

Your roller skates.

Timon, even if you don't play a single note,

my uncle's going to be the kindest, sweetest,

most gentlest warthog you've ever met!

Pumbaa-la!

I thought I heard you out here.

Enter, please.

Nephew Pumbaa, you should not have brought me gift.

But, a new muffler I can use.

I very much like to tighten it around my hoof.

So very, very tight like this, you see.

In order to keep my dancing hoofs from getting chipped.

That's not a muffler, Uncle Boaris. That's my friend, Timon!

Friend Timon, it is my pleasure to be meeting you.

Ho, no. The pleasure is all mine.

How good it is to see family. Come, give your uncle a hug!

You, too, friend Timon!

You know, hugs really aren't my thing.

Don't be so shy, friend Timon!

Who can resist a double hug clincher?

Yeeai!

Ca-vi-ar.

Must be Russian for bug larvae.

My hooves are not what they used to be, Pumbaa.

You're retiring?

But one final and glorious ballet shall I dance tomorrow night!

Royal dignitaries and devoted fans of far away countries will come,

as my country has declared it national holiday for my honor.

All of Russia will be watching me... Pay-Per-View, of course.

And after my encore, we celebrate!

I maybe open one precious jar from my prized collection of caviar?

Wow! Do you actually taste those delicately salted

and seasoned taffety fish eggs?

Fish eggs? Yuck!

Yes, nephew Pumbaa! Tomorrow night is so much that special!

How graceful will I dance?

I will be known throughout the world

as finest ballet dancer in history!

Uncle Boaris!

Looks like his English isn't the only thing that's broken.

Everything is broken... including my dreams.

My final performance will never be.

Boy! You must really feel rotten

knowing you're going to let down all those dignitaries

and czars and presidents

- and kings and ambassadors and... - Timon!

But think about it!

All the rubles those big muckety-mucks shelled out to see this guy...

I mean, he put the "boar" in Boarishnikov.

But... what to do?

I know exactly what to do. Put my star quality, undeniable talent

and crowd-pleasing stage act to good use.

Free of charge!

- You? - Of course!

I studied at Julian!

You mean Juilliard?

No, Julian. Juilliard's cousin.

We must find someone else to perform in my place!

But nobody can replace you.

Pumbaa-la, you could dance for me!

Me?

Wait! One minute, Uncle Boaris, I got it!

Pumbaa could dance for you!

You look like him and he looks like you. No one will know the difference!

But I can't dance!

You are warthog! Ballet is in your blood!

Don't you worry, Uncle Boaris. This pig's been in worse pokes than this.

I'll have him on his toes by tomorrow night.

I'm not so sure about this, Timon!

Pipe down, Pumbaa, I'm reading! Let's see. First position, second...

We don't need this!

How hard can ballet be?

Just do a lot of fancy hopping and prancing around.

Go on, try it! That's it! Express yourself with a lot of...

twirly, swirly, spinney things.

Ooh! Feel the music.

Try to feel the music a little less.

1, 2, 3, 4... now fly, Pumbaa, fly!

5, 6, 7...

Keep dancing, Pumbaa! Double-time!

This is it, Pumbaa! And thanks to my hard work, dedication

and expert instruction,

you are laced up and ready to perform!

How about one last practice pirouette for good luck?

Yeow!

Pumbaa, pal? Speak to me!

I think my legs feel kind of... broken.

What? But Pumbaa, the stage is set.

Celebrities are posing, root beer is chilling, cameras are rolling.

The world is waiting to make you a star!

What are we gonna do?

Boaris, where's Boaris?

Come on everyone, put your hands together now!

You know a funny thing happened to me on the way to the Kremlin.

Hey! Quit "Russian" me!

I can't blame ya! I'm just "Stalin" for time.

"Stalin" for time!

Well, heh, don't be a bunch of red squares now.

Hey, that's more like it!

Looks like you're not the only one back on your feet, Pumbaa.

Wow!

Thanks, friend.

Don't mention it.

That was Incredible. And those quack doctors said it would take months

to heal your fractured bones, torn ligaments and ripped tendons.

Say, how did your injuries heal so quickly, uncle?

They didn't. Get me back to hospital.

Pumbaa, this is perfection!

The most perfect spot to relax.

And do you know why this is the most perfect spot to relax?

Could it be the cooling shade of the shady tree?

The hair-tickling pleasantness of the songbirds

and the refreshingly coolified, sky blue pond?

Exactly, my porcine pal.

Yes, this is the most perfect spot to relax

and nobody, no way, no how, is ever going to make us leave.

Yikes!

Hello, I'm Ted.

- And I'm Ted. - I'm Ted.

- I'm Ted. - And I'm Ted.

Well, my name's "taking" and this is my pal "a nap"

and together we're "taking a nap", so leave us alone!

That's quite all right. You won't disturb us, right, Ted?

That's right. Won't disturb us at all.

That was very rude and not nice.

That it was, Pumbaa.

But don't you worry, pal, I'll have a word with those ground squirrels.

Them and their highly developed social unit make me sick!

Think they can just come in here and kick us out. Why you... I oughta...

This, the most perfect spot in all the jungle, is now Club Ted.

A private club and you can't enjoy the tree, the pond or the birds

unless your name is Ted. Right, Ted?

That's right, Ted.

Shucks! Now we're never ever going to get to relax in our perfect spot.

Never ever again!

Don't worry, Pumbaa. We'll be taking a dip in that refreshing pond in no time.

Just do exactly as I say.

When I give ya the big wink, you say, "Hello, my name is Ted."

What do you want?

Yeah, what do you want?

Hi, my name is Ted, not Timon and this is my pal, Pumbaa... or, Ted.

Say hello, Ted.

Hello, my name is Ted.

Well, hello there, you two guys named Ted.

Yeah, hello... Teds.

It's working.

Welcome to Club Ted!

Does this mean we're now official, qualified, card carrying members?

- Of course! - That's right!

Just as soon as you perform the initiation task.

Initiation task?

- It's very simple. - Quite simple.

All you must do is, um...

Hang these jingly bells around the neck of a lion.

You mean, the big meat-eating lion that lives at Savage Rock?

Yeah, that's the one.

Gee, Timon, how precisely are we going to get the jingly bells on the lion, exactly?

I'll think of something.

Who are you?

And what are you planning on doing with those jingly bells?

We're we're the Jingle Bell Squad

and we're here to protect all Serengeti citizens

by giving them these jingly bells.

- He's not buying it, Timon. - Okay. Okay, I got another one.

We're government surplus jingle bell distributors

here to give you your alloted quantity of free jingly bells.

Okay, well, we're Santa's helper elves

and we're here to give you a special present.

Santa? A special present for me?

Yes! Santa himself wants you to have these special Santa jingly bells

and, you must never ever take them off, no matter what anyone tells you.

This is grand! My own Santa jingly bells!

I won't ever, ever, ever, never, ever take them off!

Ted! Ted!

The task is complete!

What are you bellowing about?

We did the initiation thing, so now we're members, so let us in, come on! Come on!

Ted, putting jingly bells on the lion is impossible!

But they did it! What do we do?

Leave it to me.

My future club-mates,

we must have proof that the lion is wearing the jingly bells.

What kind of proof?

You're gonna have to remove the bells and return with them here.

We gotta bring the jingly bells back?

Yes!

But Timon, you told the lion never ever to take the jingly bells off!

Quiet, Pumbaa. I'm in the midst of being ingenious.

Yes!

Ted, we have returned victorious with the jingly bells.

Not to mention, a new watch.

There is another task to perform before you may be admitted.

Now what?

We gotta put the bells back on the lion?

No, no, no, no! That would be silly! You gotta put this suit on him!

Quiet!

Yes?

♪ Telegram for Mr. Lion ♪

♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah ♪

♪ Telegram for Mr. Lion ♪

- ♪ Dah-do-dah-day ♪ - ♪ Hey! ♪

Thanks!

"Dear, Mr. Lion,

You are hereby officially invited to Buckingham Palace

for a gala celebration to be held in your honor."

Wow!

"This is a formal event, which means you must wear a suit!

Signed, the President of United States."

A suit? Where am I going to get a suit on such short notice?

Somebody asked for a suit?

No, no, no, no! This mane and fur combo has got to go!

What are we trying to say? Mangy scavenger?

No.

Work with me Leo here, work with me a little bit.

A little nip and tuck in the heinie quarters

and yes... I think we've got it.

Wow! Hey... I'm a stud!

Well, our work here is done and we really gotta be going, so...

Hey, that's my watch!

And you bear a striking resemblance to those telegram guys.

It wasn't us! I mean, what telegram guys?

We're in trouble.

Come to think of it, you were Santa's helpers, too!

What's going on around here?

Ted, we have put the suit on the lion as you requested.

And he wasn't none too happy about it neither!

Now open up!

Gee, guys. I'd really like to let you in but

we need to have proof that the suit is on the lion.

Yeah, proof. Yeah, that's what we need.

Yeah, yeah, proof, proof.

So you go back to the lion and...

No, Ted. No, no, no, no. I don't think we'll be going anywhere.

You see, the lion kind of wanted to meet all of you Teds.

Thus, we led him here and he's not very happy.

So... you're the annoying little Teds

who kept making these guys bother me!

Hello!

You know what, Pumbaa?

No. What?

I don't want to be in any club which won't accept me as a member.