Original subtitles

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ What a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

♪ Dig, dig, dig a hole right here In the ground ♪

♪ Looking for gold, looking for gold, Looking all around ♪

Ooh, a three-masted topsail clipper ship.

Yeah, I'll take one of those.

No! Two! Two three-masted topsail clipper ships.

One red and one blue, encrusted...

with diamonds, rubies and emeralds.

Yeah! You know, Pumbaa...

the way I got it figured, once you strike gold, I'll be set for life!

Why this gold mine idea could turn out to be a real gold mine.

But Timon,

didn't you say we'd split everything 50-50?

And your point is?

Well, I'm doing all the work and you're just lying around.

Now that doesn't seem 50-50 to me!

Yeah? Then what would suit you 50-50?

Perhaps, if I picked up a shovel and did exactly half of the digging?

Would that seem 50-50 to you?

Yeah. That would!

Well, If that's how you want it to be, fine!

This will be the dividing line. You dig there, I'll dig here!

Anything you find, you keep.

Anything I find, I keep!

Fair and square, 50-50, right?

- I Guess. - Good!

Good, You'll remember that. And when I'm Mr. Moneybags

and you're shivering in the cold, don't come begging me for a hot cocoa

with little marshmallows on the top.

Hey, Timon, look!

A gold nugget!

I'm rich!

Boy! And it's a great, big, heavy one too!

Say, what'd you find, Timon?

Hakuna Matata!

A bottle cap!

Gee and it's so shiny and pretty and splendid and round!

Timon, you sure are lucky!

Will you stay on your side of the line!

Wonderific!

Soon that gold will be mine.

♪ For he's a jolly good warthog For he's a jolly good warthog ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good warthog ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

What a guy!

Another round of hot cocoa on Pumbaa!

Hey, Mr. Moneybags, why the long snout?

You must be worth your weight in gold. Cheer up!

I know.

It's just, I...

I really miss Timon.

What's a Timon?

He's a meerkat. He's my bestest best friend

and he's standing right outside!

Look at him all smug and warm!

Expects me to come begging for a crummy cup of cocoa

with the little, little marshmallows on the top.

I won't! I got my pride!

I'd rather freeze!

Some bestest best friend he is.

Worstest worst friend is more like it!

Who are you?

Exaltation! You've never heard of Cusco Quint?

The faster, strongest, smartest,

prospect of south of the Beaufort Sea.

Should I have?

I, Cusco, saw what happened between you and the hog.

Cusco hates to tell you this, but you've been snowed!

Half of that pig's gold is rightfully yours.

Yeah! I was the one who told him where to dig in the first place!

Glorification! You know what that means?

That means all of that gold is rightfully yours!

In fact, Cusco suggests,

you march right in there and steal that hog's gold.

Are you suggesting that I steal that hog's gold?

Totally!

But... he's my bestest best friend.

Don't worry about that. I, Cusco Quint, will help you.

There's nothing Cusco hates more than seeing a helpless, little dweeb like you

get taken for a chump.

Hey, of course, I meant to say nice guy like you.

Now here's what I want you to do.

Ladies, gentlemen and Mr. Moneybags Warthog,

The Yukon Dance Hall is proud to present...

Timon...

Timon!

- Timon? - Thank you, thank you,

Madames and messieurs!

Tonight, you're in for a real treat.

The one and only... me!

You will be thrilled, amazed, dazzled

and razzled!

Stoopified, awestruck

and titillated, delighted!

Electrified!

That's my buddy up there!

You must be proud.

To ensure that you don't miss even the teensiest, tiniest,

smallest little morsel of entertainment, we ask

that you keep your stinking eyes on the stage!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm spent.

And if you're driving tonight, don't forget your car! Bye!

Bravo! Bravo! Yay! Timon!

That's a show!

Cusco was spotted! We'll have to split up.

Take this. We'll meet later. Wear a red carnation, knock three times and recite

- Bippity-boppity-boo. Got it? - Got it.

Hey, wait! Where do we meet?

Pumbaa...

That was a beautiful song, Timon!

Short, sweet, filled with compassion and what's in the bag?

Nothing! I didn't steal your gold, if that's what you're thinking!

Timon, why would I think that?

I know you're my bestest best friend in the whole wide world.

And you'd never...

Shut up!

But I did, Pumbaa! I did steal your gold!

I was blinded by jealousy

and I wanted to be Mr. Moneybags with the hot cocoas and little marshmallows.

Take it, please! Take every cent! You found it, it's yours!

Can you ever forgive me?

Timon, there's nothing in here!

What? Why that low-down, no-good Cusco Quint!

- Cusco who? - Cusco Quint!

No! A prospector! He tricked me!

- Conned you? - Fooled me!

Led you for a sap.

Exactly!

Made you look like a complete buffoon!

Alright, let's not get bogged down on this point, Pumbaa.

The important thing is...

that we get you your gold back.

You mean, our gold?

"Wear a red carnation!"

The old switch-a-roo gets 'em every time.

Cusco, my boy, you are duplicity personified!

There! Duplicity personified at 12 o'clock!

Go, Pumbaa! Go!

See Pumbaa go!

Quickness, my dog! Expediency!

Hold on tight, Timon! We're going to do it!

No, Pumbaa, we can't!

We can!

Pumbaa!

Maybe we can't.

I think we lost them.

Pumbaa, I think we lost them.

Absurdamundo! Cusco isn't lost!

But you soon will be. Lost at sea!

Ouch!

Wait! We're moving!

Yes, it's a very emotional time for all of us.

No, I mean we're moving moving.

Cusco says, so long suckers! Don't feel too bad!

It's all my fault, Pumbaa. Me and my big, fat, greedy head!

I never expected to be sent adrift on a vast sheet of cold, white stuff.

Who would expect that? Not many I suppose. Maybe a couple...

but not many, but I digress.

Timon!

I, I know a rusted, old, Caribou Cola bottle cap isn't much, Pumbaa, but...

it's all I have. Take it!

Please!

- It's yours! - You really got a heart of gold!

Come here, you knucklehead meerkat.

Pumbaa, don't ever, never, ever let the lure of material wealth

come between us... never, ever, ever again!

Pardon me, but did you say that's a Caribou Cola bottle cap?

- Yeah. - Sure is.

Hoorah! Hoorah!

17 years, I've been searching for a Caribou Cola bottle cap.

I absolutely must have it for my collection!

And money is no object!

Now... who do I make the check out to?

- Me! Me! No! - Me! No, me!

It's mine! I found the bottle cap.

- Timon, what a great guy. - I'm such a great guy. Such a great guy.

Timon, what a great guy. What a great guy.

I'm such a great guy.

- What a great guy. - I'm such a great guy.

Timon, what a great guy. What a great guy.

- I'm such a great guy. Such a great guy. - What a great guy.

- Gesundheit. - Thank you.

Tiger!

Fast! Make with the speediness.

Timon, we're running away, but we're not being chased.

What's wrong with that? Makes it much less likely we'll be caught.

Maybe we should stop.

Stopping is the last thing we should do!

Going is a much better form of running away than stopping.

Pumbaa, whatever you do, don't stop!

My goodness! That's quite a cold you've got there.

Here, have a tissue.

Tissue? I don't even know you!

Get it?

I get it. I get it.

Pumbaa, precisely what do you think you are doing exactly?

Administering medical aid. It's important to help others who are in need.

Wrong! Pumbaa, she's a tigress!

A girl tiger, i.e., a predator.

Say it with me, pre-da-tor.

- So? - Let me tell you about a little

thing we call the food chain.

See, in the natural world, there is a relationship between animals

whereby the bigger ones eat the smaller ones.

Exhibit A, a fish, seemingly happy as it swims about on its daily routine.

Until presto, a bigger fish comes along and eats it!

This fish in turn, is then eaten by an even bigger fish!

Am I making myself clear here?

Psst, Timon, she's not a fish.

Why? Look, she is a carnivore, a predator.

Helping her is counter reproductive.

She hunts and catches guys like us!

Actually, the only thing I've ever caught is this cold.

You mean you've never ever caught anything ever, in your whole life?

Never? Not even once?

Dear Ralph, my husband, was the hunter.

He was the one who used to bring home the bacon!

But now with him gone, it's up to me to feed the family.

Wow! You've been busy!

I suppose, I am good at one thing.

But when it comes to hunting, stalking and pouncing,

I'm a three-peating, triple crown washout.

Timon, we can't let the little tigers go hungry.

We just got to help her! We just gotta!

We gotta! We gotta! We gotta! We gotta! We gotta!

We? No, no, no, no, no.

Not "we", Pumbaa. I'm not helping anybody, anyway, anyhow.

No, thank you! Check please! I'm outta here!

Just to satisfy my curiosity,

why did you think I would teach this tigress how to hunt?

Because you owe me one!

I owe you one?

- Since when? - Since yesterday!

Pumbaa, you just saved my llfe!

Thank you, I owe you one!

Aw shucks, Timon. It was nothing.

No, no, no, no, no!

I owe you one, pal. And that's all there is to it! No arguments!

Okay, if you insist.

You owe me one.

Okay, I'll help.

First rule of hunting is you've got to find where you can eat

the food and this is where you find the food.

I'm going to help you now.

See anything?

Yeah, the underside of a two ton boulder!

You're wasting your time! She's a tiger!

She doesn't eat under the rock bugs like we do,

she eats those big, meaty, non-meerkat type things

which frolic across the grasslands.

- You do? - Well, yeah.

It's a tiger thang!

Then why are we looking under this big rock? Thanks, Timon!

Glad I could help.

Once you've located your prey, or food as we call it,

you've got to sneak up on it! Watch me!

I hear someone sneaking! I hate that!

Go away! Go away! Go away!

To avoid any more unpleasant encounters, wherein solid objects impact

with my skull, I have decided to take over the lessons!

Sorry, Timon.

Now, listen to me.

All you really need for hunting is a good pounce.

And for a good pounce, you need altitude,

which is why I've put together... this!

I call it, Timon the handsome and smart meerkat's

Incredibly ingenious pultzy thing.

Looks like a see-saw.

New rule, for the remainder of this lesson,

I am the only one allowed to speak.

First Pumbaa, you'll be in the ignition position here.

Then we put the launchee onto the pre-pounce location here.

And last, we place the desired meaty thing here.

When that lands there, you will pounce. Hey!

Okay, Pumbaa, blast off!

Careful! Get ready! Get ready!

Pounce!

That's it! That does it, I quit!

Kaput! Fini. No more helping from me.

Let me explain something to you, Pumbaa.

You only help someone if you get something in return.

Ideally, What you get in return

should be worth more than the effort you expended in helping!

But there is no better thing to be gotten from helping this...

this... this...

-Three-peating, triple crown washout.

Three-peating, triple crown washout. Exactly!

I mean, why don't we find a lion cub we can raise?

Now that's an idea! He could be on our side.

But who wants her on our side?

- She's useless! - I know when I'm not wanted.

Guess I won't be making his Christmas card list!

Sorry we couldn't be much help.

You helped lots, kiddo. Don't fret. I'll figure something out.

- Goodbye! - Bye!

Good riddance.

Come on, Pumbaa. Let's amscray.

Say Pumbaa, why don't we go back and teach this guy how to hunt?

Timon, help!

I've got to do something! I need help! I need...

How ironic.

- What do you want? - Nothing...

Help!

- Nothing? - Well, that's nothing.

I mean, it's a jackal and it's going to eat my bestest best friend, but...

Are you asking me for help?

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

No! Well... maybe I am. Sort of.

You only help someone if you get something in return.

Ideally what you get in return should be worth more than

the effort you expended in helping.

Besides, I'm useless, remember?

Well, that's just fine, I mean...

what if everybody had your attitude?

Then the whole world would be filled with nothing

but a bunch of non-helping, helpless unhelpers.

Timon!

I'm sorry! Believe me, if I had any idea I'd have to eat my own words,

I never would have said so many. Honest.

If you're asking me for help,

all you gotta do is ask.

Help.

There, now that wasn't so bad, was it?

Let me see what I can do.

Keep away! Keep away!

Looks like my bad cold got me a hot meal!

You see, Timon, we did get something in return for helping her.

More than you know, Pumbaa. More than you know.

- What do you mean? - I got her cold!