Original subtitles

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ What a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ For the rest of your days ♪

♪ It's our problem-free ♪

♪ Philosophy ♪

♪ Hakuna Matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

- Aah! - Aah!

I've got ya now, my pretty.

Yeah!

Hey! Give it back.

Give it back.

You know, I've heard of sleepwalkers but never sleep-eaters.

Now exhale that bug,

- or I'm goin' right in and gettin' it. - Hey, I laid an egg.

Pardon me.

I laid an egg, Timon. See?

Look at it.

Isn't it the cutest little eggie-weggie you've ever seen?

And I'm gonna hatch it, Timon.

I'm gonna hatch it and show it how to hunt for bugs

and teach it proper manners

and everything it needs to know about becoming a big, strong warthog like me.

Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa.

It may be a late to tell you about the birds and the bees,

so let's jump right to the warthogs.

You are a male pig of the man-type,

non-egg-laying masculine variety.

You can't lay an egg.

How come?

Because you don't have the proper kind of inner hydromechanical,

gyrodynamic diddly-bops inside of ya that makes eggs.

And yet I made one anyways,

and that makes it even more extra special.

I'm gonna be a mommy!

Pumbaa,

only chickens lay eggs.

And whatever kind of chicken is in that egg,

you are absolutely not...

I repeat, not its mommy.

Mommy!

Son!

Brother.

Mommy, I'm so glad to have you as my mommy.

Mommy, you're big and strong and big.

I wanna be big and strong and big just like you.

You are my mommy, aren't you? Aren't you my mommy, mommy?

Of course I'm your mommy.

Then who's he, mommy?

Is he my repast, mommy? Did you bring him here for me to eat?

Is he my food? Because he sure is scrawny. Why's he so scrawny? Mommy...

No. No. No. That's not your food, Junior.

That's your uncle Timon.

Isn't he the handsomest warthog you've ever seen, Timon?

And he looks just like me.

- Pumbaa, notice the broad, flat head? - Yeah.

Long scaly body?

- Clawed hands and feet? - Yep.

- And serrated tail? - Right.

And what does this all add up to?

Pumbaa Jr.!

No! He's not Pumbaa Jr.

He's not even a warthog.

He's a chicken!

And an ugly chicken at that.

Aah!

Get the ugly chicken off me! Get that ugly chicken off me!

Aw, would ya look at that?

Pumbaa Jr.'s hungry.

Ho.

Are you gonna teach me how to hunt, mommy?

Are you gonna teach me how to catch my own supper,

so I can be big and strong and big like you?

That's right, Pumbaa Jr.,

and it's very simple.

All you gotta to do is wedge your snout under a log like so,

roll it over.

And breakfast is served.

Now you try.

Finally some peace and quiet...

Without that chatterbox underfoot.

Aah!

Mommy, I found a big juicy grub.

But how come he looks just like uncle Timon?

How come this grub I just grabbed resembles uncle Timon, mommy?

I'll tell ya why, ya little chicken-livered dirty little...

Timon, watch your language!

You don't wanna set a bad example.

Mommy, how come uncle Timon won't join us for dinner?

How come he won't be a part of the family? How come?

How come? Mommy? How come?

You're upsetting Pumbaa Jr., Timon.

Come on. Join us for dinner.

I fixed your favorite.

Cockroach...

Casserole...

Parmesan.

Mommy, how come uncle Timon gets to eat first?

How come he gets to eat first

and we have to wait and wait and wait 'til after him how come?

Timon.

Yes.

You should serve others first. You're setting a bad example.

Oye.

Mommy, how come uncle Timon doesn't say grace?

How come he starts eatin' without saying thanks?

Timon.

- What? - Aren't you gonna say grace?

You don't wanna set a bad example.

Of course.

Yubba dub dubs, thanks for the grubs.

Yeah, boy!

Timon, I didn't put a fork on the table for no reason.

You're setting a bad example.

Sorry.

And you shouldn't talk with your mouth full either

and don't put your elbows on the table

and make sure and chew your food 43 times and don't go eating your dessert first.

You don't wanna set a bad example.

Yeah.

Timon,

was that you?

Yes. Is there a problem?

I'm just glad Pumbaa Jr. Wasn't around to hear that.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Excuse me, Ms. Manners.

Are you saying you haven't belched in front of Pumbaa Jr.?

Of course not.

But you're the crown prince of belching. You majored in gas.

Not anymore.

Things are different now that we have a kid.

By the way, where is he?

We're playing hide-and-go-seek.

Without the go seek part.

That's not very nice, Timon.

There you are, uncle Timon. How come you haven't been lookin' for me?

Did you forget how to play hide-and-go-seek?

Did your brain clean forget how to play?

Let's play us a different game. How 'bout tag?

You're it.

Why, you...

Family picture.

Family picture!

Let's just get it over with.

Mommy, how come uncle Timon is standing so far away from me?

How come he doesn't wanna get close to me? Part of the family.

Scoot in closer, Timon. You're settin' a bad example.

That's it. Little closer. Very good. Little closer.

Ooh, we're gettin' there. Little closer.

A little closer!

There. Perfect.

Okay, here we go. On the count of three.

One,

two,

three.

Aah!

He just wanted to make sure you had a smile on your face.

Yeah, sure.

The Omen's not around, is he?

No. He's brushing little teeth

and flossing, too.

Did you brush and floss your teeth, Timon?

No, I didn't, Pumbaa.

Ooh-ooh, why not?

Because I didn't feel like it!

What happened to the no worries days? Hakuna Matata?

Now with this kid around, we can't be ourselves anymore.

It's not that I don't care for the kid,

it's just that we used to go huntin' for bugs in all hours of the night.

Now we stay home with junior. He's crampin' our lifestyle.

But the time you and me and junior spend together is as good as any we've ever had.

But he's not our kid, Pumbaa.

And as much as you wish you were,

you are not his mommy.

He's a completely different kind animal. He came from an egg.

He's an ugly chicken. And as much as we love him,

we don't know how to raise him.

He needs to be with his own species.

What's that?

Nothin'.

It looked to me like a thin, flexible sheet of material

made of finely divided, compressed fibers and used for writing on.

What do you mean? It's just a piece of paper.

See? Wait!

Don't read it!

It's a letter from Pumbaa Jr.

"Dear mommy,

How come uncle Timon is so right?

How come I'm not like you and I don't belong with you?

I'm going to run away from home because of what uncle Timon said."

Signed, "Pumbaa Jr., the ugly chicken."

Timon, what have you done?

I know, and it's all my fault.

He can't survive out there, Pumbaa.

It's a rugged, dangerous, cruel world, and he's just a little ugly chicken.

He'll be eaten alive.

We've gotta find him.

Well, according to my calculations, we've searched everywhere

except for right over there.

- Aw! - Can ya believe it?

He's found another chicken as ugly as he is.

And look how happy it's made him.

You know, Timon, you've been right all along.

Junior's not a warthog.

He doesn't even have any tusks.

He should be with his own kind.

Me and my tail are glad to hear it.

But we just can't leave him and his lady friend out there all alone.

I'd get kinda worried about them.

Well, Pumbaa, don't you worry.

I've got an idea that'll set your mind at ease

and give Pumbaa Jr. and his girl the upbringing they deserve.

Thank you so much, mommy.

Thank you so much for everything you taught me and showed me and learned me.

You're quite welcome, Pumbaa Jr.

And thank you so much, uncle Timon.

Thank you so much for everything you taught me and showed me and...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Switch to decaf.

I'll miss you, too. Go on. Your parents are waiting for you.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

So long.

Have a nice life, kid.

There. Don't you feel better, Pumbaa?

Now junior and his girl can be raised

and nurtured and taken care of by the other chickens!

Surprise!

I got him!

No, man. I got him.

Wha-ha ha!

Tsk tsk tsk.

My, my, my.

It's a three-carnivore pileup.

This is, after all, the 13th time in 13 days

that those heinous hyenas have succeeded in sullying our sustenance.

How unlucky.

Why don't we simply eat them out of the way?

Chetayto.

Why they're... they're skinny, they're smelly.

They're...

Well, just look at them.

They're hyenas.

Yes. I see what you mean.

Still it does seem prudent that we dispose of them in some expedient manner

before we suffer severe stomach upset.

Perhaps an elaborately constructed ruse,

in the interest of occupying their microscopic minds.

Agreed.

Whoa-ha ha ha ha!

- Aah! - Aah!

We hate to interrupt an intellectual debate.

Wh-wh-wh-who are you?

And whaddaya want from us, ya big...

Big, bold, brave cheetahs?

Cheetahs?

How kind of you to ask.

Well, hey. We're just here to make you happy.

As long as it doesn't involve bein' chewed up and swallowed?

No, no, no, no.

We just dropped by because we couldn't help noticing you dropped this.

Ha ha.

Of course, we knew how important it must be to you

when we saw that it was, in fact, a treasure map.

Ahoy!

Arrr!

If one carefully follows the map all the way,

far away,

one shall reach the "x" and find the treasure.

Alright, answer me this. When you say, "treasure,"

do you mean gold and diamonds and riches or just a buncha chopped liver?

Just a bunch of chopped liver, of course.

I'm there.

Count me in, bro.

Well done. Well done.

Which is exactly how I prefer my wildebeest steaks prepared.

Yes.

Indubitably.

Yeah.

We talked it over, and we just have one little question.

Yeah. Um, how do ya spell "x"?

With all due respect, if you don't mind me inquiring,

what exactly have you done, Chetahto?

Why, I've carefully calculated the trajectory vehicle

in accordance with the height and weight of our participants.

So as to perfectly determine the rapid ascent and decline of the shuttle,

thus landing them directly in the angry mouth of mount eruptus.

Okay, now let me get this straight.

You're calling this the werengeti what'll?

No. The serengeti shuttle.

The most magnificent means of transportation this side of the Sahara.

Exactly. Why not only do you get the best view of the jungle

but you get the best view of everything to eat in the jungle.

Did you say eat?

That's what I heard. I heard him say, "eat."

Eat is what I heard.

Hey. Hey. Come on. Hey!

Hey, come on! I should get the front seat. I mean, you got the front seat last time.

You're right. Sorry.

Hey! Wait a minute.

There was no last time.

No way. You ride in the back with bark-breath.

I'm not ridin' in the back with nobody, man.

- You're not in charge. - Get outta my way.

Care to cut the cord?

No, no, no, no. Please. It was your idea.

How very kind of you.

Ha ha ha!

Ptooey!

Do you smell something burning?

Only my heart.

Say, ya know, that shuttle is one hot ticket.

Yeah. That ride really blew us away.

Not far enough, I'm afraid.

But you're... you're back so soon.

Well, it was a little warm.

Yeah, and I gotta tell you guys,

I never heard of a shuttle without seat belts and airbags.

Plus there was no room for carry-on luggage.

Heh heh hee, pea-pea.

What did he say?

He said they didn't serve peanuts.

Twisted tale of woe!

Hey, what's wrong with them?

Yeah, man, it's not like we asked for a complimentary upgrade or nothin'.

It's awful!

There, there.

Surely there's something else we can do to make them go away.

No. Don't you see? That's just it.

When the three of them are all together, they're just too dopey to get rid of.

Why, Chetahto, ,

you're more brilliant than even you know.

I'm sure you're right, but what do you mean?

I mean, my good fellow, it's time to divide... and conquer!

Ya know, you look good in black, man.

Whuu-ha ha ha ha!

Do pardon me for interrupting, but beneath your deep-fried facade,

I could not help noticing you are the brains of the bunch.

I am? I mean, I am.

You are. And that's why we want to share with you, and only you,

a prize morsel greater than any other you've ever tasted.

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?

Right-o. Now let me ask,

have you ever perchance laid eyes on the highly coveted, richly flavored,

tart and tantalizing, rare... wild goose?

No, I haven't, but I have a feelin' I'm about to.

How do I get it? Where do I go?

Now, follow my instructions exactly.

Go left at the grassy plains, then 3,000 miles north past the equator,

and then cross the international date line...

I don't know why,

but, man, I sure am in the mood for barbecue. Aren't you?

Heh heh heh. Barbecue.

Excuse me,

but I couldn't help noticing that you are the brains of the bunch.

- 'Kay. - Good.

Listen, how'd you like to sink your smarts into a highly coveted,

richly flavored, tart and tantalizing, rare wild goose?

Lovely. Go left at the plains, 3,000 miles north of the equator,

then sashay along the boulevard until you come up to a large...

Alright, brains. How'd you like a little rare wild goose?

Wha-ha ha! Hah! Hah!

Charming.

Left at the plains, 3,000 miles past the equator, dah dah dah.

Hey! Watch where you're goin'.

What do you mean, watch where I'm goin'?

Hey! Where are you goin'?

I could ask you the same question.

Somethin' tells me you're here to chase a wild goose.

H-how'd you know?

Because I was told I am the brains of the bunch.

No way. I was told I'm the brains.

Heh heh heh. Hee hee.

Gentlemen,

I think this whole thang was nothin' but a snow job.

You know, Chetayto,

I believe I prefer the rotisserie rhino to the hash-browned hippo.

Yes. Three months of unrestricted,

unsurpassed, and unbelievable gourmet dining.

I feel like a new man-eater.

Surprise!

Didn't anybody ever tell ya?

Cheetahs never prosper.

Yeah, and since you all sent us on a wild goose chase,

I think it's just about time for us to chew the fat.

Hey, you kooky, groovy groovesters, listen.

I'm just on my way to a wild goose convention.

Can you tell me which way's the south?

Thanks so much, babe. You are beautiful animals.

You're happenin'. I love ya. I mean it. Ciao.

I'll get him! I'll get him!

Back off, buddy, I saw him first!

No, you don't. He's mine!

Or do you mean he's yours? It was my idea!