Original subtitles

- Previously on

"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills..."

- Pat the puss, pat the puss, pat the puss.

- I have an alter ego.

Her name is Erika Jayne.

She's class and ass.

She's over-the-top fabulous.

Work!

- Somebody came to me with a word

and thought that this is what you had;

called Munchausen.

- I have two children that have severe...

- I... - Suppressed immune systems.

Both Bella and Anwar, you know, had Lyme disease.

- There's been a little talk that maybe Bella and Anwar

do not have Lyme.

- Oh, my God. Who said that?

- Lisa and Kyle were discussing it.

[upbeat music]

- My lips were made for talking,

and that's just what they'll do.

- In Beverly Hills, you can be anything,

but it's most important to be yourself.

- I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash.

- I may be an actress,

but that doesn't mean I'll stick to your script.

- Fake friends believe in rumors.

Real friends believe in you.

- Don't hate the game, just marry a player.

- I'm passionate about dogs, just not crazy about bitches.

♪ ♪

- Hi. Good morning.

- Hi. How are you? - Hello.

Nice to see you. - Good to see you again.

How are you? - How are you?

- Very well.

- Do we have to get naked for this?

- Hey. Good morning! - Hi. Hello. Hi.

- How are you? - Good.

- How are you? - Hi, Kyle.

- Good to see you. - Hello. Hi.

- Nice to see you. - Hi, I'm Daisy.

- My nurse.

- Hi, Daisy. - Kyle.

- How are you? - Nice to meet you.

- Can I ask you a question?

What... I'm little nervous about being frozen.

- Well, you don't have to get in there.

- Well, I wanted you to try it. - Well, what do you think

you're here for, to take pictures of us?

- But no, moral... moral support. - Oh.

- Come on, just put my toe in there.

- God, moral support. I do this every day of my life.

- No.

Listen I don't really understand

freezing myself in a chamber every day,

but she's looking great,

so if it works for her

then I'm gonna do it.

- Let me see, you have a little bit of inflammation.

Yeah, yeah, we can take that back.

- What? What inflammation where?

- Stick your ass in there. - Just shut up.

- Why don't you come and see it first?

- Okay. - How cold is it?

There's got to be a reason it's called cryo.

It has to be... - It means you're gonna

cry really hard.

- Oh! - And then, you're gonna

feel really good.

- No.

- Cryotherapy is one of the fun things I do every week.

You go into a box, where it's below freezing,

and you come out like a frozen popsicle.

- Hi. I'm Dr. Manning.

- Nice to meet you. Dr. Manning, nice to meet you.

- Lisa. - Am I gonna get frostbite?

- You're not gonna get frostbite.

Basically, we put you in a cold environment.

It cools down your skin rapidly and your body produces

its own natural anti-inflammatory molecule.

- How cold is it? - Negative 140 degrees Celsius.

- What? Is that the truth? - Oh, stop, it's not.

- This is a medical treatment and they show up with the jewels

and the lipstick and the heels.

Girls, we're supposed to get naked

and raw and freeze to death together.

- You're gonna step in here.

As soon as I shut the door, you're gonna hand me your robe.

I'm gonna lift you up on a lift.

Your head's gonna up here and then a minute and a half later,

you're gonna walk out feeling like a different person.

Here we go.

- [shrieking]

What? What's that?

This is like the padded cell that my...

I used to be put in years ago.

I got to take my clothes off. - I'll close the door, so yeah.

- Oh, please don't. [all laughing]

[shrieking]

[all laughing]

- Hi!

- [singing indistinctly]

[screams] It's starting to get cold!

It's really fáááing freezing!

I don't like this. - It's not so bad.

- [screaming]

I am doing this to be a supportive friend,

and Yolanda's trying to torture me.

- I think you should go. - [screaming]

- Good luck with the winter, this is nothing.

- I moved to here from England because it was too cold.

What I actually liked about this whole thing

is see Yolanda laughing.

This the most sexually exciting thing I've ever done.

If Yolanda's laughing, even at my expense,

while I'm freezing my ass off, then so be it.

- I don't want to do this! Oh, my God.

- Give me robe! - I can't take it.

- You can take it. - Give me the robe!

- You've got this. - I'm freezing

my ass off, literally.

- But your skin is glowing. - That's why everyone

in Hollywood does it.

- I feel like I am skiing down a mountain

in Aspen stark-naked in a blizzard.

That's it? Am I done? - That's it.

- No, I'm not. - It's much shorter than Lisa.

- This makes no sense.

I think I had a little...

Frostbite on my ass. - Yeah.

- I want my brain in the freezing.

- Oh, come on! At least scream and squeal.

- This isn't how a real woman takes a little bit of cold.

Hard-core, freezing cold.

I'm gonna do round two.

If you're up for it, you can come,

or I'll see you guys at lunch?

- We'll meet you at lunch. - I don't know... uh... me...

- If it's either freezing your ass off

or having lunch with rosé, I'm going with the latter.

Good luck!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- All right, what you got going on back here?

- Okay, so we're taking the tour bus,

obviously, down to San Diego, okay?

- Which is gonna be great.

- I definitely think we should pull out some of the shoes

and bring them down the hall,

so we could start packing everything.

- We're performing in San Diego this weekend.

Rich's, it's a great gay club,

and the name of the party is called pervert.

Right up my alley.

- So sound check look, and then after party look,

we need something fun and sexy...

- 'Cause we're having an after party in our suite.

- Yeah, and we need to look... - Cute.

I want the ladies to come down and meet Erika Jayne

because everyone needs a little Erika Jayne in their life,

especially these old girls.

- And then, brunch the following day with the ladies...

- At Kathryn's house. - You told me about.

- Yes, oh, you know what we should do?

She doesn't like when they use the word áááá.

- Okay. - So pull her out. [laughing]

- Oh, for sure. This is the trip.

- It's funny, these women, they'll talk about

each other's husbands and kids and health and sháá like that,

but they all have a meltdown when I say the word áááá.

So where does that put you on balance?

- Right. - It's my party.

- And I'll be áááá if I want to.

- Want to, right. - Bloop!

- It's rather old and narrow

and conservative that Kathryn is so bothered by this word.

- If you're too mean, then you're a áááá.

You know, you're never... - Oh, I hate that word.

Don't say that word? I... - You do? Why?

- That's the most disgusting word.

- Why? - You're too beautiful

to say that word.

- It's not like I'm calling someone a áááá.

It's really just an attitude.

- What about these ones?

These say, "I own everything and my vagina is not cold."

- My vagina's hot. - Hot, steamy.

- Steaming.

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello. - Hi!

How are you?

- Great. We're on lunch break.

Did the first few scenes this morning,

so I'm having a good time.

- Well, I'm having to pack for San Diego now.

The next time I see Erika,

she's gonna be Erika Jayne onstage.

What are the kids doing?

- Delilah's going camping.

- Oh, that's right, so what do we do with Amelia

for when I'm San Diego, you're here?

- Yeah, I'm here on Saturday and Sunday.

- I don't quite know what to expect.

Maybe soft-core porn.

"Caligula."

Sex and stuff.

I think we're gonna see a full blown orgy.

[chuckles] Oh, my God.

- Okay. I love you, babe. - Okay, love you.

- Bye. - Bye.

- I'm going for one night. [laughs]

♪ ♪

- Still feel cold, or not?

- I feel good. Let me tell you something.

- What about the icy heart? - My knee and my hip

feels better.

- Has that thawed out?

- My icy heart? Nope.

[both chuckle]

That's still cold.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

Okay.

- My knee was hurting me.

- And now it doesn't?

- It feels much better,

and that's one time.

Yeah. - Hey, girls.

- Hey, how are you?

- I said, "I actually think it was quite good."

- It was fun, no? - I think it was quite good.

- Did you like it?

- Yeah. - You both look very glowy.

- Okay, I'll admit it, I think it did help,

but it was still way fáááing cold.

Are you coming to San Diego?

- Mmm, I don't think I'm ready now.

- No? - Too much.

The traveling, the... - Do you know there are

2,000 people that come to this?

- Yeah, it's a huge thing.

I've never seen Erika perform,

but I'm still healing and recovering.

It's just not the right situation for me.

I mean, my bedtime is 8:00 p.m.

- Do you ladies have any questions about the menu?

- I think I'm gonna have the salmon.

- The grilled salmon? - Grilled salmon, yeah.

- Beautiful. - I'm just gonna

have the beet salad.

- Beet salad. - The insalata regina.

- Thank you very much. - Thank you so much.

- So Lisa came to see me.

It was... it was kind of awkward.

- What did she say?

- She said that you have a hausenmauschen.

Whatever that is. - A Munchausen.

- Munchausen. - What is it?

Who says that?

It just gave me such an ugly feeling, you know?

I said to her... I said, "Listen, you are discrediting my disease.

My four-year journey that I've lived."

Who are you? I mean, what kind of person are you?

Because me, I would never look at somebody that is sick

and go like, "Oh, you're not sick," or, "You're faking it."

- Lisa Rinna's never questioned that you are suffering,

that you have Lyme disease ever.

- I think Lisa was repeating some gossip,

from what I can gather, down in Malibu.

- But I also want, you know, I wanted to ask

you girls today as well,

what was your part in that conversation?

I mean, did you stand up for me?

- Munchausen is something that people might not be sick.

They make themselves sick.

- Vanderpump and I were a little bit shocked

when Lisa Rinna said the word "Munchausen,"

and didn't say enough.

We could have said more.

- You guys are supposed to be my homies.

You're my friends.

If somebody said something,

did you say, "No, this woman has been sick for four years.

"I mean, she's been in bed nine months.

She's fighting for her life."

- You have been struggling and we all know that.

- We know that. - But if...

If there's any questions about it,

you guys should have always come to me.

And then, she also mentioned that you said

that Anwar and Bella

do not have Lyme disease.

I mean, Anwar and Bella both

are... have same Lyme... Have Lyme disease as well.

And somebody told me that Lisa Vanderpump was actually...

- Well, just at... At dinner the other night,

they were very lightly discussing it.

- That rubs me the wrong way. - Yeah.

- Don't ever get close to my children.

- Mm-hmm. - You know what I mean?

- I do understand that. - That takes the best of me.

- I... trust me.

- I've never heard in... in all the years I've known them,

ever them or anybody else mention Lyme disease.

- What's going on with Anwar and Bella's Lyme disease?

- What does Mohamed say? - No.

She's the only one that has it.

- Listen, Mohamed pays for the medical bills.

So Mohamed knows very well where his children

are being treated and for how long.

- I never knew that. - Okay, well, then you...

It's not something that he probably

wants to share with you.

- But in a... I'm talking about not an in-depth conversation,

so when I thought... Of course I, of course I say,

"No, I didn't know," and it's just like...

- So you never said, "I don't think

Bella and Anwar have Lyme disease."

- It's like, "What the fááá?"

- Coming up...

- I don't like your bag.

- [laughs] I'm not surprised.

- So you never said,

"I don't think Bella and Anwar have Lyme disease."

- All right, so what I've gotten from it

is that Mohamed said they were healthy.

- So that's... That's basically saying

they don't have Lyme disease.

- Well, I don't know.

- If you're really curious and you want to understand it,

I brought you their test... - Yolanda.

- And I want you to take it home and read it.

- Oh, my God.

She went to great lengths

to prove Lisa wrong.

- Oh, no, I don't want it now.

- You're not taking it? - No.

I don't want to look at the kids' medical file.

She's their mother.

If she says they've got Lyme disease,

then she's right.

- I want you to read it and if you said that,

I would love for you to apologize to them

because this will come up and I wouldn't want this

to ruin your relationship with my children.

- I don't really understand why Yolanda's saying

I need to apologize to her children.

Mohamed told me they were fine and that's what I thought.

- I would want them to understand and hear from you

what it is that you said.

Saying the children don't have Lyme disease is discrediting...

- I'm not a doctor. - Of their journey

of three years.

It would break my heart, for Bella and Anwar,

to hear that you put any doubt out there

that they are ill or not.

- Yolanda is really upset with Lisa Vanderpump right now

and it's extremely awkward.

- I'm saying I never knew

they were ill.

- All I know is that they're talking about my children,

and if they had any questions, they should have come to me.

Why talk about it behind my back?

- Did Lisa Rinna say we were talking about you?

I don't understand because any conversations

any of us have had have never been,

you know, malicious and gossipy.

- It was more about Lisa saying that Lisa brought up

my kids not being sick.

- Oh!

My name's suddenly being pulled into something

that I really didn't want to be a part of.

I answered the question that Kyle asked me.

I'm just speaking my truth.

- I don't know exactly why our names

were brought into it when she went to apologize to you,

but I don't want you to think that we ever

questioned or doubted you ever.

I don't why Lisa Rinna would go over to visit Yolanda

and start stirring up trouble.

We weren't talking about her kids.

I don't know anything about her children's health.

Okay, you guys,

I have to pick up my kids from school, actually.

- That's for you. - Oh, no.

- Yeah, Take it! - I... no, no!

- Read it! - No!

- Get educated. - If mommy said they're healthy,

I... that's his... just... Being defensive...

- You have been so. - And telling me to shut up.

And that's it. I don't know. - Okay.

Hey, it's between you and the universe, baby.

- We bought in.

It's good to see you looking better, though.

- Nice to see you. - It's good to see you

looking better.

- Well, that was kind of strange.

- I don't like it being stirred up like that.

That's unnecessary.

- Lisa Rinna told me that she wanted to apologize

and she actually said, you know, I'm not... I'm just... you know,

I have to get it off my conscience that I said this

and she never mentioned anything about dragging us into it.

- Fine Yeah, deal with your own sháá!

- Yeah. - Don't drag us into it.

It's stupid.

Just creating crap

that doesn't need to be stirred up.

- Well, I'm gonna ask her tomorrow.

But I have to pick up the kids at school.

- All right, see you later. - Talk to you later.

♪ ♪

- Hi, how are you? - I'm good, thank you.

- Welcome. Please.

- Thank you so much.

- Welcome.

- Hi. - Hi.

- How are you, sweets? - How are you, cutie?

- I'm good. Good to see you.

What are you gonna get?

- I was looking at that salmon salad.

That looks pretty good.

- Should we both do that? - Sure.

- Good afternoon. How are you? - Hello. Good afternoon...

- Hi. - Well, thank you, and you?

We're both gonna have the salmon salad, please.

- Would you like some bread as well

with some olive oil and balsamic?

- Sí. - Sure. Yes.

- Yes? Okay. - Thank you.

- Grazie. Sorry. [both laughing]

- Where is he from? He's cute. - I have no idea.

I assumed it was Italy.

[both laughing]

- Kathryn has a very strong personality.

She's really out there.

She seems like she's opinionated,

but she seems like she's a lot fun.

- I loved your husband by the way.

- Oh, thank you. - So sweet, very nice guy...

- I like yours too. - Very nice guy.

- Oh, what's not to like about them both, right?

- I know, it's really true.

- Where do you live, in Malibu?

- Uh-huh. - So that's a little bit

of schlepp for you.

- Actually, this was pretty easy.

- Yeah. - This was like 32 minutes.

- Oh, good, you time it. - It's like, are you kidding me?

- 32 minutes, not 31, 32 minutes.

- This is the salmon salad. - Wow, thank you.

- Beautiful, thank you. - Wow, that's beautiful.

- Wait a minute, you told me when we first met,

you dated my ex.

When?

- Sorry. - I love it.

You're like... you're so up his alley.

- I have a big, fat mouth

and I have no idea why that came out.

Did you meet Kathryn?

She said she used to used to be married to Marcus Allen.

- What?

- Peter... - Actually went out with Marcus

a long time ago.

- Did you? - Oh.

- A couple times. - He's a good guy.

He's a really good guy.

- There was nothing of that nature between us.

- Listen, I don't blame you. - [laughs]

"Hi, nice to meet you.

I dated your ex-husband by the way."

Ugh.

- When? What... how long ago?

- Oh, God, a long time before you.

'89?

- '89. - We went to lunch.

Or '88. - That's interesting.

- Why? - Well, I was dating him in '88.

- I got to go. - [laughing]

- I got to go now. [laughing]

- I was afraid of this. - Did you see me? Oop.

- I was afraid of this... - No!

- But you know what? I swear, I was just like...

- Oh, my God, I am so red right now.

I can feel that I'm blushing. This is too funny.

[chuckles] Oops.

- San Diego, I feel, is gonna be interesting.

Erika comes with the come on, right?

- Love this. - I'm dying to see it.

- Love it. I think Erika's one of the most interesting people.

- She really is. - She's very down-to-earth

and she's very to the point.

- She's got a wild side, though, for sure.

- Yeah. [phone rings]

Oh. - Oh, it's the handsome husband.

- Oh, good. - Let me answer...

Talk to him really fast.

- Tell him I said hi.

- Hi, baby. - Hello.

- I meant to tell you that we went out like too.

- Yeah, you know... - [laughing]

- Honey, did you go out with Eileen?

[both laughing]

- Shut up. - What are you doing?

How's everything going on? Are you holding it down?

Our house is like a... - I'm holding it down.

- Is he in San Diego right now? - Things are going well.

- We have a house in San Diego

and we're just finishing up doing massive renovations.

We ripped out everything down to the bare...

Not even the wall. We took the walls out.

Did the sofa get there?

- That is correct. - Yes!

I love to entertain, so since we'll be in San Diego,

I'm gonna have the ladies over

even though I'm under construction.

Good, babe. I love you so much.

Take a picture and send it to me.

- I love you too. Bye, honey.

- Love you.

[both laughing]

- Call you later.

I'm watching you.

- So did you feel, like, all the stress

'cause you're having everybody over,

you got to get the house together.

- Well... - It's kind of

an incentive, though, right?

- Literally, like, when I tell you, like,

the house is like completely torn apart

'cause I'm painting the entire interior.

I'm just kind of, like, refreshing everything.

I changed all the colors on the wall...

- That's kind of what I'm doing too.

- Yeah. - We've been there for, like,

12 years now.

It's just time change it up. - It's... that same.

13 years, and I'm like... - Uh-huh.

- Let's change it.

- Yeah. - I don't ever do a budget.

- You never do it and you have to sometimes.

There's other things I don't spend...

- Sure. - I don't spend...

I don't spend a lot of money on, like, expensive purses.

- On bags, you don't? - No.

- Really?

Huh.

If I see a great pair of shoes, my eyes instantly go to the bag,

and if the bag's janky, then I like...

- I have to say... - Think the shoes are not great.

- Oh, my... my bags are janky.

- Did you see me, like, checking out your bag right now?

- Oh, no, don't, don't.

When I pulled it out of my closet,

I said, "This is a bad-looking purse,"

and I brought it anyway... [laughs]

- I don't like your bag. - [laughs] I'm not surprised.

That's how little I care about bags.

I knew it sucked and I still wore it.

- You have to have a nice bag. Look at you, you're gorgeous.

- Well, thank you. - Have a nice bag.

- The bag does not make me. - I don't know.

I'm superficial like that. I... I have to have...

- You really are. - Really nice leather.

I'm gonna have to make a phone call to her husband

and say, "Listen, your wife

"is gonna go drop ten grand on some bags.

Hopefully I can get her three for that."

- Now I'm gonna feel bag pressure,

every time I see you.

- Maybe just two.

- So great to talk to you a little bit more.

- You too.

- I'm gonna walk out with, like, my bag in front.

- Coming up...

- We got to paint that body.

Head to toe, toe to head.

- Get in my vagina.

- Hi!

Oops. Watch out. - Good morning.

- Good to see you.

All right, can we jump on?

I rent this bus for when I do shows.

- I call top bunk. - I want top bunk too.

I don't have my own tour bus because most of the time

it's not feasible to have a tour bus.

I just fly...

on my plane.

We're ready to hit it.

- Well, why don't we initiate this road trip

with some Dom.

- I brought some Dom from home.

- Pop some bottles, right?

- Yes! - Thank you all for being here.

[all yelling]

This is like my creative little family.

These are people that I love very much.

They're outspoken, they're fun, they love life,

and I'm in charge of these people.

[chuckles] God help us all.

Hey, babe. What's happening?

Tom's not gonna be at this show in San Diego.

He gets out, I would say, like, once a month,

but he's certainly not able to come to all the shows.

He's a busy man.

What time are you gonna jump on the plane for Vegas?

When Tom comes to the shows,

he's dancing, he's clapping,

he's enjoying it, he's taking it all in.

[chuckles] I love you. Bye-bye.

The boss was calling.

♪ ♪

- How are you?

You look great.

- Oh, good, somebody else is here.

Hello.

- Oh, I thought, "How much luggage have you all got?"

- It's stupid. Don't even look at it.

- She, she really packed. - I could stay for a week.

It's stupid.

When I know what to expect,

I'm a good packer.

When I don't know what to expect,

I'm a bad packer.

It's that simple.

- Hello! - Hello, Eileen.

- Oh, look at you. - Look at you.

Whoo!

You look gorgeoni. - That is amazing.

- Look at... your ass looks good in those too!

- Oh, why thank you. Don't sound so fricking shocked.

- I'm not shocked!

- I work out six days a week for that ass, baby.

[chuckles]

Some days longer than others.

- Okay, let's load in. - What about Erika?

- Oh, she's already down there.

- Kathryn, where are we going to see Erika tonight?

What's the club like? - It's a big place.

It's a big place. - It's a gay club, I think.

- Yeah, it is. It's like a raging.

Like it's, like, rager. - A rager?

- If you go on Google, which I do quite often now,

it says Friday night is pervert night.

- You know what that tells me then?

- What does that mean? - That we're gonna

be thoroughly entertained.

- I'm a pervert. [laughs]

♪ ♪

- We're here!

- Home. - Right where we should be.

Open our balcony. - That's the best part

about this room.

- San Diego, I've arrived.

- The queen of everything has arrived!

♪ ♪

- It's party time.

- Okay, is this cold enough?

- I don't want to drink. Are you kidding me?

I'll be asleep by the time I get there.

- Look at the light on these shoes right now.

That is some good sparkle.

- I like my shoes. - Yours are semi-cute.

- I like the shoes.

- I like your shoes. - [laughs]

- I do! - Okay, listen.

I don't hate...

Listen, I don't hate your shoes.

I don't love your shoes. - Okay.

- I like them. - The bag that she bought in...

- Oh, fááá you, Kathryn.

[both laughing]

- I've had this one five years. - But it's classic Chanel.

- Okay, so how much? You're educating me.

- At least $3,000. - $4,000?

- Ay... - Oh!

- My husband bought it for me as a gift.

- $4,000 for a purse? - Yeah.

- A little less. - Fááá all you

superficial bitches.

- No, that's what she said...

[all laughing]

[all talking at once]

- Fight, fight, fight! - Don't pull her hair!

Do something!

Fight!

♪ ♪

- You ready, girl? Let's get it painted!

Take it off. [imitating suspense music]

- The human body; it's a work of art for me.

It's a tool.

- We got to paint that body

head to toe, toe to head.

- Get in my vagina.

I do work hard to stay fit.

Of course I look fáááing good.

- Glam, slam, thank you, ma'am.

Think we could start your face.

- Yeah, let's do it.

- I just had a pimple right there too.

What is it? - It's...

- It's called stress. - I think it was...

- Called PMS. - Ugh, God.

- We went to cryotherapy with Yolanda.

- What's cryotherapy?

- Freezing your ass off in a box.

- Oh, Yolanda invited us to cryotherapy.

- But was it cold, though? - Yes. Oh, yeah.

- And so it drops your body temperature really low?

- And your naked.

- How was Yolanda? Was she feeling good?

- Well, yeah, she was

and I want to talk to you about that.

- She wasn't very happy with us. - She wasn't happy.

- She went kind of... - On you?

- Both of us. - On... yeah, well me, mainly.

I mean, I don't know what you said to her

and I'd like to know.

- I didn't say anything to her.

- You said something that propelled her

to show up with the children's medical records.

- I'm absolutely shocked.

I had no part in any of that.

Not one iota.

She asked me about it, and I said,

"Listen, I was sitting next to them,

and I did not hear the conversation."

I didn't say anything else, guys.

Yolanda said this 'cause she's really pissed off

and found what Munchausen's meant.

That was, "Okay, fááá you."

I'm gonna do this.

[imitates stabbing]

'Cause I went over there to be honest about what I said.

I was certainly not there

to talk about you or you or the children.

- Well, that's what I was hoping.

I was thinking if you went there to own your sháá...

- Lisa. - And then suddenly,

she's saying to me, "Here's my kids..."

- Here's the thing. - You know...

- People talk, a lot of people chitter-chatter chitter-chatter.

- Wait, can I say one thing? You said that at the end of the...

The meeting you had with her, she said,

"If somebody goes after my kids, that's where..."

- Well, exactly. - "I draw the line,"

and that's why she started tearing up.

That was your only mention to me about the kids

and it came from her mouth like she already knew something.

- She already knew something. - Okay.

- Somebody's talking to her about the kids and it wasn't me.

I am not gonna go there and talk about you ever...

- Darling, darling... - If I don't even know anything.

- I've seen her... listen, I would not go and say,

"Oh, Lisa's talking about Munchausen's at my house.

That's your sháá..." - And I went...

- And I would not do that. - Did it?

- You know I would not.

Well, if Lisa Rinna didn't say it,

then maybe somebody else is stirring it up.

I would like to stop talking about the Lyme disease.

Stop talking about Yolanda. - Well...

- Let's just finish it and forget it now.

- I would love to, so... - Should we just drop it?

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello. - Hi, sweetie. How are you?

- Hi, baby. How's it going? - It's going good.

I'm in the makeup chair getting beautiful,

getting ready for this performance.

I wish you were here, but I know you're not feeling well.

- No, I wish I could be there,

but unfortunately, I'm not ready yet.

- Nope. - Six months from now,

I'll be dancing.

- I can't wait. Well, listen.

You are sorely missed and... - Aww.

- I'm thinking about you, okay? - You are so sweet.

- Thanks, Yolanda. Bye-bye. - Bye.

- You guys, we're here! All: Whoo-hoo!

- We do have your room ready for you up on the ninth level.

- All right. - Good-bye!

- Bye, girls.

♪ ♪

- [gasps] Hello! - Hello, sexy!

- Hi, gorgeous. Oh, you look hot, babe.

- So do you.

- Hi. - Come in.

- This is nice. - Thanks, it is. I like it.

- I like your jumpy. - Thank you.

- You look pretty. - Oh, thank you.

- Oh, yeah, it goes way up. [laughs]

- So how are you? How are you feeling after...

- Okay, that's why I wanted to talk to you.

I think I finally figured it out.

I feel like I put the pieces together.

Somebody has told Yolanda that Lisa Vanderpump

is somehow saying that her kids don't have Lyme disease.

- Okay.

- Who is it?

- It's not me. - I know it's not you.

- It's not Kathryn.

- It's not Kathryn 'cause she doesn't know...

It's not Lisa Vanderpump.

Hmm.

Oh geez, well, then I guess it's Erika.

- That's interesting.

- If I didn't do it and somebody says I did it,

Ooh! Ooh!

That is like major injustice to me.

Major! I hate that!

I don't like it

and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it tonight.

- Coming up...

- Oh, my Lord. Oh, wow!

- Look at this. - Okay, we're going!

- Ready? - Yeah, let's hit it.

♪ ♪

- It's packed out there, you guys.

- Yeah! - The club is bumping.

- You can't get swept up in the audience too much.

Someone has to own the space.

It's either gonna be you or the audience.

Ow, pinchy. - Sorry.

- So you have to be calm

and then the energy takes over when we step on stage.

Boobs still looking right, yeah?

- Boobs are the rightest.

♪ ♪

- Hi, girls!

- Hi. - Hi.

- Lisa, you know Lorene. This is my best friend

since I'm seven years old.

- Nice to meet you, Lorene. You know what?

That was my sister's name. - It was?

- Oh, how are you? - Hi.

- Nice to meet you.

- How are you? How are you? - I'm dragging her with me

'cause she lives here.

Down the street. Let's go.

- Good. - Let's get in the car.

- Got to go. - Oh! [chuckles]

- This is gonna be fun.

- After seeing Erika Jayne's videos...

- Who is it? both: Oh, my God!

- ♪ You made me believe I was so far away ♪

- I'm really expecting a lot.

Don't disappoint me.

- Are we ready for the show tonight?

All: No!

- [laughs]

I don't really know what to expect.

Am I gonna take all my clothes off and dry hump the bar?

I don't know, but I'm doing it for Erika Jayne.

- Oh, my God, I forgot an earplug.

- I really need one. - Well, what will happen?

- Will you lose... - Why do you need one?

- I have one good ear for the rest of my life

and if I actually lose the hearing in the one good ear.

- Do you need an earplug? - I need an earplug.

I lost my hearing when I was going through my divorce.

My husband calls it selective hearing,

but I... I use it now and I just...

Quite often tell people, "I don't hear you."

- The other ear has no hearing 100% gone.

- That... yeah. I'm going to the...

To the doctor on Friday, by the way...

So you should not make fun of disabled people.

I pick and choose the things I want to hear now

and I have an excuse.

- Wouldn't you have a sticker? - A sticker?

- So you can park anywhere, or not?

- You know what? I tried to get one...

- No, not for... - And they turned me down.

- For hearing? - Why would you get a sticker?

- Her legs are fine! - For parking.

- To hear. - I... no.

Because I can't hear when ambulances are coming.

- What does that have to do with parking?

- Whatever. Don't judge.

- I don't judge, I just report,

and sometimes I don't report information,

but people say that I'm reporting information

and I'm not.

Right now, our heads are going like this,

and we're caught in, like, a washing machine

of Lyme and blah and who's sick and what and this.

I mean, it's like crazy making.

And yeah, I'm being the scapegoat a bit,

but I tell you what,

the truth always prevails

and everyone's gonna look back and go,

"Wow, didn't see that one coming."

I'm gonna fix that tonight.

We're gonna find out who told Yolanda...

- You're a monster.

- That supposedly, you are talking

about her kids not having Lyme.

Let's find out who said that. - Why don't we leave it alone?

- I don't want you guys to be mad at me

because I didn't have anything to do with it.

- Aren't you thinking it might... maybe it's Erika?

Isn't that the whole point?

♪ ♪

- Hey, welcome to Rich's. - Hi!

- Hello. - Just hanging out.

- Oh, my Lord. Oh, wow!

- Look at it. - Let's go!

- Oh, hi, guys! - Hi, guys!

- I see nothing, but these round, perfect butts.

I mean, like flawless.

- This one's especially for you.

- All righty, thank you.

- Look at this. - Okay, we're going.

[laughs]

- Oh. [screams]

It's fine, it's a gay club.

My husband doesn't care.

♪ ♪

- Whoo! - Whoo!

♪ ♪

- We're here on a creative journey

and we're about to express ourselves onstage.

I want you to turn up the sex. Turn up the heat.

- I want the show to be good for these girls.

I want to entertain. I want them to like it.

I want them to have a good time. I want it to come off smooth.

- I'm so excited to see Erika.

Oh, I can't wait to see you!

I'm so excited!

What are you gonna wear?

- Here we go. One, two, three.

All: Pretty Mess!

- I'm gonna release my inner Erika Jayne.

- Please welcome to the stage...

all: Whoo! - With eight number-one hits,

the one, the only, Erika Jayne!

[cheers and applause]

- Messiness, San Diego!

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

♪ I'm a princess ♪

♪ I'm a temptress ♪

- Wow. - ♪ I'm your mistress ♪

♪ I'm a princess ♪

♪ I'm a temptress ♪

♪ I'm a pretty mess ♪

♪ I'm your mistress ♪

[classical music]

- Hmm.

- ♪ I'm a... ♪

- I was prudish about the whole thing,

but I walked into pervert night,

I saw Erika Jayne perform live, it's fabulous.

I can see why the gays love her.

Right?

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Coming up...

- I don't like the necklace, though,

I'm gonna tell you straight.

- What's it say? - It says áááá.

- Oh!

- All right, matinee.

I got one more song before I go...

[cheers]

But first say, "Hello," to my new friends

over there in the corner.

Hi, girls! - We love you.

- Welcome them to our show.

They've never seen me quite like this,

so I don't think they know what to think.

Who wants to get crazy?

[cheers and applause]

♪ Pain-killer ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Pain-killer ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Like a pain-killer ♪

- I think Erika Jayne

is a fantastic performer.

You know, she could be Britney.

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Thank you so much, you guys!

Matinee, you've always been good to me.

My name is Erika Jayne. Take care.

Be good to one another.

- I had a really high expectations after the videos.

Erika Jayne did not disappoint.

[all screaming]

- You were amazing! - I...

- I am so happy they are coming out of their

conservative little skin.

All right you guys, you ready?

- Yeah!

- We're not in Beverly Hills.

It's not all of this, you know...

We're having a good time.

This is great.

I have my girls with me!

[cheers and applause] [laughs]

- Hey, you guys. [all screaming]

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, my God.

- Hey!

- Whoo! - Yeah!

- I mean, this is like a rock star moment.

I love rock star moments.

Hello, boys!

I am a rock star in my mind.

- Is everybody on board?

Boys, everybody?

All right, let's go home.

- I was like abnormally excited tonight watching you.

- I'm glad that you had a good time.

- You're so good at it. - I loved it.

I freaking love it. - You really are so good.

- I don't like the necklace, though,

I'm gonna tell you straight.

- I know you don't, but I'm wearing it.

- It's terrible. - It's not terrible.

- But by the way... - Why? What's it say?

- It says áááá! - Oh.

- That word really bothers me. - Oh, exactly!

- I'm not gonna lie. - Oh, my God.

I thought it said candy.

- No, it says áááá. - She said, "Candy."

- It doesn't mean what you think it means.

- Why? What does it mean to you? - This means sassy.

It means sexy, it means fun. - All right.

- And you can't get offended by it...

- I'm not offended... - Because that's not...

- I have to say...

- That's not the context. - I do get offended.

- Guys, oh, my God. A word is just a word.

- Thank you!

It's all in context and in place.

- Come on, girls. Let it go.

Stop being so áááá.

- Where did I just perform?

- In a gay club. - In a gay club

with a bunch of gays losing their minds.

And you know what? Áááá is appropriate there.

So you know what? You're in my world.

- No... it's not necessarily. - Welcome to my...

But you know what, I'm not at PUMP,

and I'm not in Beverly Hills.

I'm on my turf.

- Are we here? - Yeah, we're here.

- Can you wait? Let me fix my makeup.

♪ ♪

- Ooh, is that some dry ice, right now?

- Oh, wow! How cool is this?

- Thank you all for coming. - Wow, good.

- Let's go sit down. Yeah. Yeah.

- Like the sophisticated ladies we are.

- Lisa Rinna's obviously

still pissed off about the whole situation.

Obviously, Erika is the one... - I get that...

- Who told you on that - But so we got there,

and we end up in a fight.

- So what? It's not my problem.

I didn't do anything. I don't care.

I did nothing.

Hold on... - Oh, for God's sake.

- Erika, I need to just, like, ask you something.

I guess, yesterday Yolanda went to lunch with Kyle and Lisa

and she basically handed them the kids' medical record...

- Okay. - And she said that I had said

that the kids do not have Lyme.

She blamed me and it did never...

It never came from me and I never...

- Hey. - Well, this is very grown-up.

- Hi, guys. - Hello.

- Sit your ass down. - Why did the naked men leave?

- I can have them up here in two seconds.

I just didn't know if you wanted them or not.

- We're all together, it's a good opportunity

for us to clear the air.

I know, Erika, you weren't a part of the ride up,

but it was about Yolanda and all the BS concerning...

what was said and what wasn't said,

and she told me earlier that she really wants to get down to it

and figure who did tell Yolanda that...

- That... that... - There was a question.

- There was a question with the kids because Yolanda

went to the girls yesterday and blamed it on me

saying that it was and it was not me.

- Okay. - So let's find out who said

to Yolanda that her kids somehow don't have it.

- Who the hell told Yolanda that somebody said

that about her kids not having it?

Who said it? - My...

- Yeah. - Who... how did it

get back to Yolanda?

- Yeah, who told Yolanda? - So that's it.

- Because you're being blamed for that.

- Somebody said something. - I am.

- I didn't say it.

- If it wasn't Lisa Rinna, and it wasn't Kathryn,

it wasn't me, how did Yolanda understand that it was Rinna?

- That I don't know.

I am the person that told. 100%.

I told Yolanda what was said at the barbeque,

but I don't want to talk about this right now.

I had an amazing show.

My head space is not with who said what

about Yolanda and her children.

Why don't we just support her and move on?

- Because somebody said something that upset her.

- But who cares? - Well, she does.

- Who gives a sháá? - She does.

- Do you know how much sháá is said about me

that I don't give a fááá about, okay?

- Why are you yelling?

Why are you being so loud?

What's getting you all riled up?

Doth protest too much.

She brought it up to me!

- I need another one of these... - So let it go.

- Let it go. - I'm not letting it go

because you know what?

It's not my job and it's not my dog.

- Then don't own it. - I said I want

to stay out of it.

- Then stop owning it, Lisa Rinna.

Who cares?

- Coming up...

- Stop it!

[clattering]

- Can't take this áááá anywhere.

- Then don't own it! - I said I want

to stay out of it.

- Then stop owning it, Lisa Rinna.

Who cares? - I'm fáááing done with it.

- Thank you. - Then leave it alone.

- Okay.

Erika's a pussy.

There isn't anybody who could've said it.

So Erika Jayne, own your sháá.

- Can we have another drink? Okay, let's not talk about it.

I'm friends with Yolanda.

It'll all go whatever way it's supposed to.

- I'm wondering why Erika doesn't want to talk about it.

- Let's have another cocktail.

- Not that any of us really want to talk about it,

but I think we want to get to the bottom of it.

Seems strange to me that she's trying to shut it down.

- Are you guys okay? I know the whole thing is ugly.

- I know. I want you guys to be okay, but guess what?

It's not my job to make it okay.

- Even if you said something, which I don't think you did...

99% of you is amazing

and if you said one thing.

- That little 1%... - No, but it doesn't matter.

You know what? - You know, iffy, it's fine.

- It doesn't matter. - I can't control

another human being.

I can only control myself. It's ridiculous.

End of story. I'm done.

- I'm with you. - I'm done.

All right, let's go.

I feel like Erika

has sat and lied to all of us.

- Bye.

- Hey, thanks for being so supportive.

I really appreciate it.

- And so now I'm like,

"Now what?"

Oh, God.

Much to do about nothing.

- You sháá stirrer, you. - Much to do about nothing.

That's what I have to say. Áááá, I'm done.

- You're amazing! - Thank you. Thank you.

- That's bullsháá! I don't understand it.

I'm not happy about it and...

- People need to tell the truth.

- Do you think I'm lying? - No.

- No, somebody's not telling the truth...

- Who do you think is not telling the truth?

- I don't know. I don't care anymore.

- It's like having sex without an orgasm.

Nothing happened.

- [sighs] - Anyway, let's go to bed.

- Okay, let's go... - I'm trying... oh.

- Anybody want any mustard and ketchup?

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

Where's my floor? What floor am I on?

Oh, I know where my room is.

I'm up.

- This is your room. - What is your room?

- Yeah? - Like, Ms. Rinna.

- It is? - I'm just gonna...

- No, stop it! Oh.

[clattering]

- Oh, sháá.

- Oh.

- All right, good night.

- Good night.

- [chuckles]

You can't take those áááá anywhere.

- Next time on

"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- It's manic, it's depressive.

I get really freaking, like, mad.

- She's a fáááing lunatic.

She comes at you like a rabid dog.

- It's really hard to see both of you go through this.

- How did they go so wrong?

- Hello.

- I'm so angry. - Don't get mad.

Here, take mine, bitch. [both laughing]

- Sorry sometimes doesn't work. - It didn't come from me.

Somebody came to me... - I don't care.

If you have some balls, tell me you said it.

- I'm not gonna who said it. - Say it.

- And I should never have said it.

- áááá you, they're saying sháá about her!

- Shh. Shh. Shh. - Say who told you.

- To learn more about the housewives,

go to bravotv.com.