Original subtitles

- Previously on...

- Ooh, you clean up good.

I'm called a gold digger,

but I knew there was a huge age difference between us.

It's not like I'm some dumb-dumb.

- We missed you. - I don't remember

what it's like to be normal.

- This seems like a lot more than just Lyme disease.

- Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

- Is she better now? I'm confused.

- "True Munchausen's Syndrome.

Those affected feign disease to draw attention to themselves."

- That's a serious word.

- Is this real?

[upbeat music]

- My lips were made for talking,

and that's just what they'll do.

- In Beverly Hills, you can be anything,

but it's most important to be yourself.

- I'm an enigma wrapped in a riddle and cash.

- I may be an actress,

but that doesn't mean I'll stick to your script.

- Fake friends believe in rumors.

Real friends believe in you.

- I'm passionate about dogs, just not crazy about bitches.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- We only got black? No other colors?

- No, and your friend wanted one of these, too.

- Hello! - Hello!

- Hello. - How are you?

- Hey gorge. - How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

- You look adorable. I love that.

- I'm so excited to be here.

I haven't been here in so long, I just realized.

- You want to look around at some of the new stuff we got in?

- I do, because remember,

your sweet husband, who I adore beyond...

Do you remember he said to me,

"Go into Kyle's store

and pick out whatever you want for your birthday."

- My present to Lisa.... - Oh, that's cute!

- I told her to go into your store

and pick any item she wants,

and then you can just bill me for it.

- Aww. Thank you.

Most people would be, like, "No, please.

"Oh, gosh, you don't have to do that.

Kyle already got me a present."

- You're like, "Okay, pick something, Bill Mauricio."

- I have learned in life that you should receive.

It's very hard for some people to receive.

I'm like a receiving vessel.

I miss Belle Gray. I miss when I had this store.

- It is a lot of fun.

- Belle Gray was a store

that we opened in Sherman Oaks, California in 2003.

We didn't have backers.

We just took our own money and just did it ourselves.

We closed the store because we had a recession,

and we had been robbed three times in a row in six weeks.

This is great. - Well, you know what.

Now I have children's clothing. - Smart.

- But it's selling out like that.

- I know. That's so smart.

The store would have taken us down completely.

To say good-bye to that was like a big loss.

- Anyway, so you know I opened a store in the Hamptons.

A pop-up shop. - I do.

Which is fabulous. - So... I know, it's so exciting.

Right on Main Street there. It's gorgeous.

The store's doing really well.

So we decided to open a pop-up shop in South Hampton.

And Lisa has to be in the Hamptons also

for some event.

So I was thinking it would be fun if we all went together.

Do you want to come? - I'm going to be

in Philadelphia because I'm doing QVC on the 8th.

I could just come on the 9th.

- Perfect, Yeah.

I think a girl's weekend is a time

when you can let your hair down and do the things

that we don't get to do when we're home making breakfast

and driving the carpool.

That looks really pretty on you. - So pretty.

- I like this color. - I do, too. I like it a lot.

I think you should just do it.

- I think I should do it. - Okay. Done.

- Thank you, Mauricio. Muah!

- You're welcome, mi amor.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- He looks a lot better, but that's a watery poop.

That's not right, either.

[swan honks] You've got him?

Oh, good.

I've got his head. Good boy.

Okay, good boy.

Come on, we're going to the vet, I think.

Come on. - That was easy.

I never caught him without assistance.

- Yeah, normally he's much more difficult, right?

Hanky's got a stomach infection,

and they're not sure whether he's going to make it,

which to me would be...

Okay, Hanky, it's all right.

Don't worry. We're gonna make you better.

Yes, we're gonna make you better, aren't we?

I'm on the cover of "Bella Magazine,"

and they're hosting a white party,

and they want me to fly in to the Hamptons,

and Hanky's been worrying me lately.

So I need to make sure he's healthy

before I get on that plane.

Come on, Hanky. - You get in first.

- Do I put a seat belt on him?

Come on, Hanky.

- Ooh, he bit me. - He didn't.

- He did.

- Did he? Where did he bite you?

That's a good boy, Hanky. Good boy.

Good boy, Hanky. I got him.

Okay, Hanky. That's a good boy.

[Hanky squawks] Good boy, good boy, Hanky.

No, don't bite.

Why do you behave so badly?

What a naughty boy you are, Hanky.

[Hanky squawks]

[upbeat music]

Can't we give him some Imodium or something

to plug that little feathered butt up?

- Stick your finger in there.

- It wouldn't be the first time.

- [laughs]

Yep, you're a bad little duck.

- Hello. Hi, guys. - He just bit me.

- Oh, no! Does that mean he's feeling better?

- He's cross today.

- Aww, we can get you a Band-Aid.

- Can I... no... Can I get anything?

Rabies or anything? - There we go... there we go.

No, birds can't get rabies, so you're good.

- I think animals have very much become

like my children.

These guys can't survive on their own.

They depend on you.

When something depends on you, then I think you love it more.

- You are feeling feistier.

That's good. Good job, bud.

- So now you're gonna... - We're gonna feed him.

- This goes straight into his stomach?

- Mm-hmm. It's a complete food.

- You did play that part of the dying swan for a second,

but now he's shaking his ass and flapping his wings,

and he looks like he's doing a lot better.

- He's not out of the woods yet,

but I see an improvement, which is always good.

- See, shake your ass. Look at you.

You're feeling good, now.

- We will be in touch. - Thank you, Doctor.

- No problem. Thank you.

Bye, Hanky!

[Hanky squawks]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- It's hard to get out of this car.

It's so cute, but it's hard.

You love it because it's fast. - Of course.

- You little speed devil. - That's right.

- Oh, there she is on the bench.

Let's scare her. - Oh, my God.

She's going to end up hating me.

[mischievous music]

♪ ♪

- Ahh! - Aah! Fááá!

Oh, my God! You scared the sháá out of me.

Oh, my God.

You just scared me.

Hi, welcome home.

- I think Erika's gonna like Kyle.

Kyle loves to have fun.

- Nice to meet you. - How are you? Erika?

- Yes, Erika. - It's so nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, too.

- You know, Erika has a little bit of a crazy side to her,

so I think they're going to connect perfectly.

Do you want to walk a little?

- Yeah. How are you guys? - We're good.

- I like the way you have your hair,

like, twisted like that. - Oh, thanks, yeah.

- Very cute. - Thank you.

- Look how beautiful and healthy this looks.

- Oh, my gosh. I know... oh!

- Like you don't have long, beautiful hair?

Stop.

- So how was your trip?

- Oh, my God. It was amazing.

- Oh, my God, that's my favorite kind of thing.

Just in the water like that... calm.

- It was so beautiful.

- Seeing Yolanda in Canada

looking beautiful on the boat

and smiling with David

is a stark contrast from what we've been seeing here in L.A.

First of all, I'm so happy to see you up and out like this.

It's like a miracle. - I know.

- ♪ We're walking through the park ♪

- Well, we can't go that far. Let's make it to the bench.

- Hey, when, you know, you were laying in your bed,

you would have thought just walking in the park

was like an exciting day. - It is an exciting day.

- Right? So let's not take

those little things for granted, right?

- We try and get her out and get her conditioned.

- She's been trying to be a firecracker under my butt.

"Okay, you need to walk. You need to walk.

Let's go." - Yeah.

I am not bringing up

the "Munchausen's" conversation right now.

If Lisa Rinna really wants to tell Yolanda what she said,

because she felt bad about it, that's her business.

I don't want any part of that.

A few years ago, when you didn't know what it was, we...

I had a lot of the same, similar, symptoms.

- Yeah. - But...

mine started when my mom died.

All of the sudden, I had ringing in my ears.

I was confused.

- What did they end up saying it was?

- Fibromyalgia. But I know a lot of it

was the depression that brought that on.

- Uh-huh, yeah.

- Right before I lost my mom, I became very ill.

I had many symptoms that were very similar to Yolanda's.

I actually did have depression from losing my mom.

It was completely debilitating for two years.

- Well, depression can have all of those symptoms.

I mean, it's such a... - It's all similar.

They all mimic each other.

- You can't compare Lyme disease to anything.

It's not just depression or just anxiety.

It's like a whole freaking bag of tricks

that go on at the same time.

- You look beautiful. I'm just saying,

like, you know, you're there. You're almost there.

- Yeah, but you know that's the sad thing about this.

You can't judge somebody on the way they look

from the outside, you know?

- Why not? Just kidding.

[laughter] Just kidding!

- Welcome to Beverly Hills.

Kyle, that's amazing.

So anyway, what's going on with your life?

- I'm recording. I'm performing.

I've got gay pride in Chicago.

- You're a singer? - Yeah.

- Yes. - Yeah.

- She has... she has eight number one disco hits.

- Oh, fun. - Yeah, club...

Club... club records.

- She's a showgirl.

- I'm a showgirl. That's what I do.

I put on shows. - Oh, I love it.

She looks very put together

with the lashes and the diamonds and her makeup,

and then she's a singer and a performer.

Who is this girl?

Do you have kids? - I do.

I have one boy. - Oh.

- And he's a police agent.

- My son's a police officer.

It's a dangerous line of work.

So I always get my hugs in.

You know, I always tell him I love him,

'cause it's definitely scary.

- How old is he? - He's 23.

- You have a 23-year-old?

- Crazy, right? - That's crazy.

- I was married when I was 20 years old.

My son was born right before I turned 21.

My ex-husband's a great guy.

It just didn't work out. We were young.

- When I look at Alexia, I can't believe I was a mom that young.

- I feel the same way. I look at my son and I was like,

you know, "You would have a 2-1/2-year-old

right now..." - I say that all the...

Do you say that all the time? - "And you cannot barely

get it together." I'm like... it's amazing.

- Isn't it amazing? - How did I pull this off?

- We should all go for a drink tomorrow

and introduce Erika to the rest of the crew.

- Okay, I'd love that. - Yeah.

- I only hang out with gay men

with the exception of a few accomplished women

such as Yolanda Foster.

- It'll be nice.

- Other than that, I'm with queens only,

but I think it's a great new possibility

to step out of your comfort zone

and get to know a few new people.

- I'd love for you all to meet before I leave for my surgery.

- When do you leave? Monday?

- Monday. - Monday.

- Are you scared? Where are you going to do it?

- I'm scared. In Cleveland.

You know, in my MRI they found

that I have the silicone on my lymph nodes.

So they're removing lymph nodes and...

- Ugh. - So the doctor

that is doing the surgery

is a doctor who's done 9,000 explants.

Went to get an MRI,

and they saw bubbles of silicone under my chest cavity

and under my arm.

So I'm going to Ohio to have my breast implants,

plus all the leakage, removed.

- That sounds really not good.

- Anyway, you want to be with the best.

There's no doctor in Beverly Hills

that has that kind of a track record.

- This is a very extreme measure to go through

in her quest to feel better, and I hope it's the answer.

- Now, it's also proven that women that breastfeed children...

Babies with imp... you know?

- Well, that I would assume.

I don't think I would breastfeed if I had...

- Well, I did with three kids, and I have two children

that have severe suppressed immune systems.

I mean, both of my kids are,

you know, struggling for the last two years.

[dramatic music]

- They are? - Yeah.

I mean, both Bella and Anwar, you know,

had Lyme disease and...

- Wait, what?

Okay, I had not heard this before.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- Coming up... - Get it all.

Make sure you get all that.

Clean as a whistle. - Okay.

That have severe suppressed immune systems.

Both of my kids are,

you know, struggling for the last two years.

- They are? - Yeah.

I mean, both Bella and Anwar, you know, have Lyme disease.

- It's crazy to think that three family members

could all have Lyme disease.

So what, you were all bit by a tick?

It's so confusing. - Yeah, where do you...

- It's not really... Not that confusing,

because, I mean, there's... Millions of cases worldwide.

- I know, but three in one family?

- Well, we lived on a horse ranch.

We had ticks everywhere every day of our life.

We lived on a ranch their whole life

until we moved to Malibu four years ago.

My kids spent their entire life in the barn riding horses,

an then Bella was diagnosed with Lyme disease

and co-infections about three years ago,

and Anwar shortly... Six months after that.

Whatever treatments I have tried

that I thought benefitted me just a little bit,

I've brought them on and tried the same with them.

It's all little pieces to the pie that keeps you...

Keeps me sick, obviously, but for... like I said,

if you're healthy, you can do them.

- If you have a sensitive system,

you can't do... - But I mean,

there's no 20, 30-year study

on how Botox affects the brain.

- Yolanda says no more Botox.

- Well, I'm not there yet. - I'm not there yet, either.

- I said to her about her boobs...

She goes like, "I'm not taking out my boobies."

- No.

Botox is a solution to a bad day.

Can you see my Botox right now?

- Enjoy it.

- I-I most definitely am... Enjoy it.

[laughter] - While you can.

[upbeat music]

[knock at door]

- Hello, hi! - Hi, Lisa.

- Hello, welcome.

Thank you for making a house call.

- Of course. - I love it.

I'm packing, so excuse the mess. - Oh, yeah.

You going to island again?

- I'm going to the island, Canada, and then we have QVC

and then the Hamptons. - Oh, my God.

- So it's a little bit like, you know...

I don't have any time, and I need this taken care of.

Okay, let's do it.

- Okay, lay down here. - Ready?

I need to get this done, because I haven't had time

and I'm just not going to go and be in a bathing suit

and... you know. - I know.

- And not be all trimmed and clean.

- Oh, my God. I tell you.

- Eiko's been waxing...

my hoo-hoo. [laughing]

Eiko's been taking care of the whole hoo-hoo business

for about 17 years.

[playful music]

Oh!

She's known my hoo-hoo long time.

You ready for me to flip?

- My butt has wrinkles, and I look in the mirror.

It's just gross.

- Well, don't look at it.

- I try not to look in the mirror.

- Don't look at it.

Get it all. Make sure you get all that.

Clean as a whistle. - Okay.

- We done? - Done deal.

- Oh.

Traveling's exhausting.

It's hard to pull it all together

and do a three-prong trip.

Thanks for coming.

Thank you so much.

Going to Canada takes, like, nine hours to get there.

You have to go by car, by plane, by boat.

You know, it's a... It's a long trip.

Everything's good, how are you?

When you're in Canada, you're like on another planet.

It makes us all bond,

and that's what makes it really special.

Let's go... I think the 405 to Mulholland.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello!

[car horn honks]

♪ ♪

- You know in soaps where they say, "The part of Barbie

"will not be played by Eileen Davidson today.

It will be played by Lisa Vanderpump."

That's why we're here.

- You know, I was on "Young and the Restless"

when I was like four years old. - No.

- And it's still the same place.

[both chuckling]

- Eileen has asked us if we want to do a tour

of the studios where "The Young and the Restless" is shot.

I'm quite excited to see it, actually.

- I'm gonna... I'm gonna get a job here.

- Hi. Lisa Vanderpump to see Eileen Davidson,

and my assistant. - Kyle Richards,

for a part on "Y&R."

- Hello!

- Hey, how are you?

- Good, welcome. - Good to see you.

- Welcome to my playground.

- So we're actually filming today?

- What? - She thinks she's gonna

get a part here. - We're not exactly

filming today. - No, but hold on a second.

- It always comes to this. - The part of what's her name?

- Oh, Ashley Abbott is being played by Lisa Vanderpump.

- Yes, that's what I want to do.

- And that's why you dressed like this, this morning.

- Yes, yes.

- This is "All About Eve" all over again.

She just wants my job. I know she does.

- Can I just have one line? - I don't have

that kind of power. - Can I have one line?

Just speak to Newman.

- They can't have it. It's mine.

No, I just want to show you guys.

This is my section.

- Oh... - Ba-bam!

- This is all your section?

- No, just this part right here.

- Oh, my God. This looks like Lisa's closet.

- That's not my section. - Oh.

- It's like herding cats.

- Lisa, these are yours. - Please.

Mind yourselves! Come on!

- Do you know your lines, Miss Davidson?

- You can run them with me.

Do you guys want to run lines with me?

- Oh, yeah, I'll do it. Yeah, I'll do it, yeah.

- Because I need to audition.

I need to get a part here.

I want to do a part where nobody would recognize me.

You know, be like the cleaning lady.

You know, like, "Morning."

I'm going to get something to eat.

- They don't take $100 bills, Lisa.

- Put something else in there. - It's $1.

Insert bill face up.

What do we do?

Lisa, get some Doritos, please. - I don't want Doritos.

It won't go in.

- She's never used one of these machines in her life.

- I haven't. Come on, eat it.

- [British accent] Excuse me, do you take American Express?

[accent] Push H2 for the tuna tartare.

- I'm at the top of the stairs in a cozy little room.

Let's go. - Is this where you live?

- Yes, watch your step.

- How long... how many years have you had this?

- [whispering] Be quiet.

Jeez, big mouths. Girls.

[mischievous music]

Here's my cozy little place.

My chill zone. - Do we have to whisper?

- No, we can actually talk now.

- Oh, okay.

Is this it today?

- I already did seven, eight scenes this morning.

- Okay, let me do Ashley. Just, you do...

- No, I need to learn my lines. You can't play my role.

- Let me just have a go at Ashley.

I think I could do Ashley, though.

You try. - Go ahead.

- "I'm right.

You've made some kind of deal with Victor."

- "I'm right."

- I don't think she should hold her breath

for the Emmy, that's for sure.

- So you guys, what's happening tonight?

So we're having drinks? - Yeah.

Yeah, if Yolanda comes.

- Well, yesterday I saw her

when she was with a friend of hers, Erika.

She's really nice.

I think you're gonna like her a lot.

It's not that often I meet someone

who had their kids really young.

So I feel like immediately

that's something that Erika and I have in common.

You know, I really wanted a boy.

- I knew I was having a boy.

I did not want a girl.

I knew I was a boy's mom. - Really? That's so funny.

- Yeah, I just felt... I just felt like, you know what?

This is a boy. I'm good.

If you were to see my boy,

you'd be like, "Oh, that's Erika's son."

- My fear is that boys look like the mom

and girls look like the dad. - Like the mother... that's true.

- I'm sure that Erika has dealt with

a lot of people being very judgmental about her,

but I think that if the women get to know Erika,

they're going to see that she's a very smart,

kind, intelligent woman.

- Last time I saw Yolanda,

she just was not well at all.

So how is she feeling?

- Must be feeling a little bit better.

- Yeah. - So, yeah.

- I just... I didn't like that whole conversation,

you know.

- Which conversation? - Well, before you got there.

- Munchausen is...

and I want to cry to even say this out loud,

but it's something that people could create

if they... might not be sick.

They make themselves sick.

- I know it's not Rinna that's brought that up.

It's gossip around there. - It doesn't seem like her.

I think she just got caught up in a conversation.

- Exactly. - But I think that Yolanda,

knowing Lisa, would know that Lisa's not malicious.

- Yolanda's going to be upset if she thinks Lisa said that.

- She knows that people are talking.

- Does she? - Doesn't Yolanda know?

She must know. - I don't know.

- I've never discussed that with her.

- If Lisa's gonna say anything,

she's gonna want to say it to Yolanda directly.

- Rinna should clear the air

so she doesn't hear it from somebody else.

That's the worst.

- Coming up... - My husband's 76.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- So tell me who's coming today.

- You met Kyle yesterday.

Kyle's coming,

and then my friend from Malibu, Eileen.

- Okay. - And Lisa.

Lisa Vanderpump. - Okay.

- Our friend Lisa Rinna is in "Mush-koka."

- Where is that?

- "Mush-koka." I don't think that's the right way.

You know, in Canada? - No.

- Muskoka.

Mush... I don't know.

Whatever. She's out of town.

I think that Erika's gonna get along with all the women.

- Hello.

- Hi, darling.

- Hi.

- Erika, Lisa. Lisa, Erika.

- Hello. - Nice to meet you.

- I can't wait for them to start asking questions

and to really get to know her brain.

She actually has one.

Hard to find these days.

- Thank you.

- Would it be rude to down it in one?

[laughter]

Oh, well, cheers. Nice to have met you.

- Nice to meet you.

- How do you know each other?

- Our husbands were friends, and they introduced us.

- My first impression of Erika is that she looks a little bit

like the kind of Barbie I used to play with

when I was a little girl.

You know, the skirt up her butt

and the diamonds and the blonde hair.

So maybe I can have some fun with her now.

Hello, finally. - Hello.

- Nice of you to show up, darling.

- Hi, there.

You're going that way?

How are you? Muah!

How are you? - Hey, pretty girl.

You look great. - Good to see you.

Thank you. - You don't have to kiss me.

- Did you miss me? [kissing sounds]

- Oh, I like the pink shoes.

- I saw yours. They're gorgeous.

- Yeah, I know. Pink's my color.

Don't you start hijacking that.

You know that belongs to me, right?

- No.

- Yeah, it does. - Okay.

You can have it.

- Yeah? Okay. What size are they?

[laughter]

- I didn't know anybody could own the color pink, okay?

I didn't know.

So sue me.

- Look at that ring.

- Oh, yeah. - Gorgeous.

- What is it, Cartier?

[overlapping chatter]

- Cartier's beautiful. - Thank you.

- This is a gigantic diamond Cartier panther ring.

It's basically like wearing a Lamborghini on your finger.

- What did you do to get that?

- I did what every woman does to get it.

I'm good.

- Clearly, I mean it was probably like the splits in bed

and a couple of cartwheels for that... hey.

Well, I'd do the same thing.

Don't worry. - Yeah, we all do, honey.

What are you kidding? - That's the job I do best.

Right? - I agree.

So do I.

- Erika's very over-the-top.

That's great, I love it. - Thank you.

The blonde hair, the boobs,

the fast car, the pink, the sparkles, you know?

She may be giving Lisa Vanderpump

a little run for her money.

How are you feeling today?

- Sick.

- Feel sick? - Yeah.

- Obviously, whatever Yolanda is suffering from,

she is suffering.

I don't think any of us question her.

But in addition to the positive Lyme disease diagnosis,

maybe they've missed something.

Maybe it's something else. I don't know.

You shocked me yesterday

when you told me your son also had Lyme disease.

I did not know that.

Completely shocked me.

He and Bella.

- No, I didn't know that.

I've known the children and Mohamed,

Yolanda's ex-husband, for years,

and I had no idea that they had Lyme disease.

So I'm a bit taken back, really.

- Was she ever taken down, like, really sick?

Like, bedridden? - Well she... yeah.

She... she dropped out of school.

I mean, I never spoke about this

because she didn't want to talk about it.

- Why? I never knew.

- But she stopped her riding career

because she started making calculation mistakes,

and all of a sudden she started not being able to, you know,

to ride anymore, and I took her off the horses,

and she dropped out of school,

and we've been dealing it... with it now for two years, you know?

I never talk about it,

but because they have Lyme disease,

that's what motivates me every day to keep fighting,

keep researching and find the cure for my children,

and I will.

Even if I have to make it my life mission, I will.

- Is it... could it be hereditary?

I know that sounds like a really stupid question, but is it?

- No. It can't be. - That's what I'm wondering.

- No, no, you have to be infected.

But if we would test you, you know,

we could maybe find Lyme disease in you.

- Oh, my gosh.

All this talk that Yolanda is doing about Lyme disease

is making me think that I have Lyme disease.

This is like Munchausen by proxy for friends.

We're all, like, hypochondriacs.

Do you have any problems?

- No, I'm fine. I don't have any.

- Would you like us to do a Pap smear test?

- Yes, let's do it now.

No, I'm just kidding. I'm dressed for the Pap smear.

- Kyle, Kyle, jump in there.

- Oh, my God. - A little later.

After this rosé, I'll take it out.

- Ooh, look who it is.

- Hello! I knew I'd find the loudest table in the room.

Hi, pretty! How are you?

- Erika, Eileen. Eileen, Erika.

- Hi, Erika. - Hey, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you as well.

- Thank you. - Hello, again.

- Hello, darling. How are you? - We see each other again.

- How are you doing? - I'm good. Thank you.

- Good. - Have you met?

- No, we've never met. - We just met...

- Oh, okay. - For the first time, yeah.

- Whose friend are you? - I'm friends with Yolanda.

- Oh, yeah? Great. - I love it,

"Whose friend are you?"

[all speaking at once]

- Who the fááá are you?

I'm friends with Yolanda. - Good.

- We were just talking about Yolanda's leaving on Monday

to go have a surgery.

Did you know this? - I didn't know it was Monday.

I knew it was close. - Monday, yeah.

- So you can't come to the Hamptons then, huh?

- No, because I'll be there for like...

- Boo... - Nine days.

- Nine days?

- You're welcome to join us. Why don't you come?

We're all going. - Yeah?

- You should. - Are you sure?

- You should. We're going to a white party for...

Lisa is gonna be on the cover of "Bella Magazine."

So we're going for that. - Get the fááá out of here.

- Get the fááá in here. Absolutely.

- Okay. Okay.

Kyle looks like she's a lot of fun,

and I'm a lot of fun, so...

You know, maybe we could have some fun together.

- How are you gonna get there?

- Uh, well, let's see.

I'll be in Chicago. I'll perform.

I'll jump on my plane, and I'll meet you guys there.

- Fun.

- Jump on your plane. See, how easy it is?

- Everybody that lives in this fáááing town

has got a private something...

a chef, a plane,

a fleet of cars... Doesn't matter.

This is Beverly Hills.

- What's your show?

- I'm a performer. - What do you do?

- Yeah, I'm a singer. Yeah, so...

- She has eight number one disco hits.

- Really? Where, here? - Yeah.

- Okay, now this is getting really interesting.

She's a singer, a performer, she's wearing pink shoes.

So the plot thickens.

How come I've never heard of this woman before?

- I want to see you perform sometime.

I think that would be fun.

- It's a lot of hair.

It's loud.

It's me prancing around with not a lot of clothes on

and rolling around on the ground and being sassy.

- Yay! Love that.

I want to be a dance disco queen, too.

Doesn't everybody?

This is amazing. How did you get started?

- I've been performing since I was a kid.

Moved to New York City.

Worked, got married, had a baby, got a divorce.

Moved to Los Angeles.

Met my husband being a cocktail waitress in Beverly Hills.

- No.

- And we finally went out on one date,

and, you know, have been together ever since.

We've been married 15 years... - 15?

- Yes. - But together 17, right?

- 16 1/2, almost 17, yeah. - Really.

So you're in for the long haul, then?

- You're damn right.

Or I get half.

- Her husband is amazing.

I can't wait for you girls to meet him.

- Yeah, you'll really enjoy meeting my husband.

- He's such a great guy. - He's a cool guy.

- Ken and Tom will be getting along perfectly.

- Really? - Yeah.

- He's quite a bit older than I am.

- What's quite a bit?

- My husband's 76.

- Oh, so that's quite a lot older than you.

- Yeah, he's 76 now. I'm 44.

- Ah, bingo.

Her husband's 70 fáááing 6 years old.

Wow.

[dramatic music]

- Coming up...

- Lisa got caught in some kind of a conversation

where it got misconstrued or something.

- Eileen, shut up. No, zip it, zip, zip.

My husband's 76.

- Oh, so that's quite a lot older than you.

- Yeah, he's 76 now. I'm 44.

32 years. - Wow.

- Oh, my God. The look on their faces.

[gasps] Give me a break.

I'm really happy being married. - Yeah.

- No one would put up with my sháá.

No one would, you know, treat me the way he treats me.

I'm good.

- What is he like in the sack?

What have the last six years been like?

- I'm gonna tell you something. He's really vital.

Like, no Viagra. - No?

- We don't need it.

There's something in this man's DNA that needs to be...

- I know. Ken's like that as well,

which is kind of really annoying.

I was hoping it would ease up by now.

- Well...

I'm okay.

- He wants to shag twice a day.

- Not twice a day every day, but he... it's possible, yes.

Yes. - That's great.

- You know, after his hip surgery, I mean...

- Yes, it's worse.

- He wants to make sure his hips are working.

- Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

Come on. Come on. - [laughing]

- Oh, my God. Keep it in the bedroom, folks.

- So he got a new hip, and he's ready to roll?

- He's always ready to roll.

That old thing keeps working perfectly.

- What old thing? - That thing works perfectly.

Everything else doesn't, like the shoulder, the elbow, that.

- But that... - But, yeah... that's great.

- I love him madly.

So I'm not going anywhere. - I'm not going anywhere.

- Unless somebody comes along that I like better.

- Well, listen... - Well, of course.

- I mean, you know, no one lives forever.

- I'm always looking. - No, you don't.

- Of course I'm looking.

I just don't see anybody I like better.

- You can always appreciate from afar.

- You're right.

I like him a lot. What can I tell you?

I like him a lot.

- His birthday party, that she threw for him, was so magical.

- I spent half your life with you,

and you always continue to inspire me.

You are my love, my life,

and I-I could not be more in love with you now.

All: Happy birthday.

- I loved it.

I thought it was incredible. - I loved it, too.

- Taylor was there... Yack, yack, yack, yack, yack.

I wanted to slap her. - What?

- Why?

Why do you want to slap Taylor? - Because she doesn't stop.

- She liked to get into the mix a little bit.

- She's always in the mix. I'm like, "Shut up."

- You guys hear something about Lisa

and her saying something about me being sick?

A friend of mine said that Taylor said to Lisa,

"Oh, she doesn't believe Yolanda's sick," or...

- Really? - Something like that.

- I just want to know what's going on with Yolanda.

- Because I know that she has the best doctors money can buy,

but I just am, like, there's just too many other things.

- She's had everything. - I just smell a misdiagnosis.

- Well, it could be, you know, she's gonna...

I probably... she should tell you,

but she's gonna check out some other things.

- But it's okay, I mean, I have not seen Taylor in three years.

So she really couldn't... - Taylor, that was kind of...

- She couldn't really have an opinion about my struggle.

- Nobody knows what your experience is but you.

- Exactly. - No, what it was is,

I think Lisa found herself in some kind of a conversation

about what you're going through.

I'm sure you're aware of that. Are you?

- Not really, no.

- People are saying that they don't know really what it is

or they're not sure if it's for real or whatever.

- "True Munchausen syndrome

"wherein those affected feign disease, illness,

"or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy,

or reassurance to themselves."

- Lisa Rinna's feeling guilty about what she said

about Yolanda, because she's afraid

it's gonna get back to her

and it's not gonna seem very nice.

Lisa got caught in some kind of a conversation

where it got misconstrued.

- Eileen, psst... shut up.

No, zip it, zip, zip.

Yolanda's talking about Taylor saying something about Yolanda,

not Lisa Rinna saying she has Munchausen's.

Shut up.

- I know that she felt horrible.

- Taylor or Lisa? Lisa got involved.

- Is that what... you're alluding

to Lisa Rinna saying something?

- Oh, sorry!

I thought that Taylor was the one that said something.

- Taylor said something at the party.

- And then later, Lisa Rinna came to us and said something.

She said she felt guilty she engaged in this conversation.

Then she repeated it to us, and then she felt bad.

So she wanted to say something to you.

- I can't even...

- What's happening?

- I just was really honest about people questioning

and coming up to me and asking questions about Yolanda.

- Lisa Rinna feels like she somehow betrayed you.

- But she's gonna talk to you about it.

- Yeah, she wants to talk to you and kind of set it straight

because she wants you to know how much she loves you.

- I don't want to even talk about it right now.

We'll talk about it when I come back,

when I feel better.

Lisa Rinna and Taylor are talking about

if my Lyme disease was real or fake.

Who goes out into the world

and denies or belittles

any other human being's disease?

- I'm sorry if I opened up something weird.

I didn't know. - I can't even deal.

- I should have kept my big mouth shut

and let Lisa Rinna deal with this.

It's her mess.

She should be the one that cleans it up.

- I can't even deal right now.

You know what I mean? - Yeah.

- But anyway, love you all. Good-bye.

- Love you, I'm thinking about you constantly.

- Bye. See you.

- I'm not gonna see you till after the surgery.

So good luck.

- I think anyone that's questioning Yolanda's health

is not a friend.

If someone broke their leg, would you say she was faking it?

That's a cheap shot. It's really cheap.

- Anyway, I'll see you guys later.

Bye, see you.

- Oh, my goodness.

- I had no idea this was like this big of a deal.

I'm kind of going...

- Well, I mean, if someone is saying

that you have Munchausen's,

there's no way she's not gonna not be offended by that.

That's a scary word. - Sháá, okay, sorry.

- Coming up...

- People think that modeling is like the easiest job.

It's not. - You have to, like,

be nice and look good.

♪ ♪

[swan squawks]

♪ ♪

- Rocio, can we have some tea?

- Yeah. I'll do it.

- Yeah? Can we have it out here? - Yeah.

- I just weighed Hanky, and he's put on...

He's put on weight, and he's exactly what he was before.

- Ooh, Hanky. Come on. Let's go.

- Congratulate him.

Congratulate him.

- Let him have some grass out here.

- I can't put him down out there.

- Why?

- 'Cause he doesn't want to be out there.

Hanky felt rough for a while,

but he's feeling much better now.

Aren't you, Hanky?

Give me a kiss.

Good boy.

[swan squawks]

No, Hanky.

No, you're being naughty.

No, don't do that.

Be romantic. Be romantic.

You love me.

I love Hanky.

He's like my child.

Is there something wrong with that?

If it's wrong, I don't want to be right.

[Hanky squawking] No, Hanky, don't.

No, don't be naughty.

Come on, I'll take you back.

Hanky, don't be naughty.

[continues squawking]

Don't be naughty. Don't be naughty.

Come on, this way.

This way.

Don't be naughty.

[playful music]

You're a clever boy.

I love Hanky, and I know he's only a swan,

but to me he's like my baby.

He's my swan, and I love him.

So I'll do anything I can to save him.

I think these animals might fill a void for the grandchild

that I'm waiting for that hasn't been delivered yet.

Okay, flap your wings, Hanky.

Pandora better hurry up and, you know, procreate.

Flap your wings, Hanky.

Good boy. See?

I like it when you do what I tell you.

[swan squawks]

- I'm so frustrated.

I don't know where anything is.

Amazing how fast you forget where everything is.

- I don't forget. - Well, 'cause you're smart.

You got the good genes, obviously.

- Remember you made risotto that one time,

and I was... and then I got you...

- I made truffle risotto when I was six.

- That is not true. You weren't six.

- What are you making? - I'm making tomato soup

with grilled cheese dippers. - Ooh.

- Hi, Oma. You look cute.

- To see three generations in the kitchen at the same time,

it's beautiful.

- Mommy, why doesn't this thing work?

- Smells gas. - They're the chefs.

Those are the most important people in my life,

and I really need this time with my family

before I go off to Ohio to get my surgery.

- You're not gonna win a competition

for cake against Bella.

- You're welcome. - Oh, my God.

That was the nicest thing you ever said to me.

- I taught you everything you know.

- Both the girls are so good.

I mean, Gigi kind of hit the ground running

when she got to New York.

And Bella had a great cover of "Editorialist" magazine,

and she shot with my favorite photographer of all time,

Gilles Bensimon, for "ELLE Magazine."

I mean, I'm so proud of her,

and so... I mean, she's still a baby. She's 18.

People think that modeling is, like, the easiest job.

- Yeah. - It's not.

I mean, it's so many hours a day.

We're up before the sun comes up.

- You have to, like, be nice and look good.

- It's true.

- I think I'm gonna go pick lemons with Anwar

and decorate the table upstairs.

[speaking foreign language]

both: Lemons.

- My lemon orchard is like my little heaven.

I mean, that's where I used to spend hours a week

gardening and picking lemons

and making lemon pies and lemonade and, you know,

like, that was my thing.

And being in there today with my mom is just amazing.

Okay. [speaking foreign language]

How can just looking at a lemon make you happy?

I don't know but, you know, it does.

- Just sit here all day? - Yeah.

I'm tired now. I need to sleep.

- Okay. - This is a perfect spot.

Yeah, it's all good.

All your kids are grown.

Your grandkids are growing up.

- Do you know how to butter bread?

- No, I don't even know where to start.

- Yeah. - You're getting older.

I'm getting older.

Can you believe it, I'm 51?

- Can you believe I'm 47?

- You're not 47, you witch. - 70... 74.

[laughter]

- No, you're 74. You're not 47, Mom.

- I know.

- Cute. - You're cute, Mommy.

What do you think about the surgery next week?

Scary, scary, yeah.

I just want to be healthy and alive to see my babies grow.

- Just pile it on. I want it literally oozing out.

- This looks so good.

- I think I put too much cheese,

because now we're not gonna have enough cheese.

- I want to be healthy and get out of bed and live my life.

When you get older, you never want to bother your mom,

but the truth is that there's just no... you know?

There's no person closer to you than your own mom.

You know? I really need her close to me

and tell me I'm gonna be okay.

[sentimental music]

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- Why are you talking about that right now?

- I don't know why we're talking about the surgery

like something's gonna happen.

Because I think that if 51% of you feels like

something's gonna happen, you shouldn't do it.

Into fours, and they become little dippers.

Mmm, so good.

- Oh, my God. - That's why you use gruyere.

- Is the soup almost done? - Yeah, it's done.

- How exactly do you want us to bring a hot bowl of soup

up the stairs?

I have to run or I'm not gonna make it up... sorry.

- No, me too.

- I don't think you guys thought about the fact

that we had to climb to the top of the hill with soup.

Both: Oh, yummy, guys.

- Good job, G. Wow, that looks amazing.

Here, you sit next to Anwar. I want to sit next to Gigi.

- I'm full.

I had, like, 200 grilled cheeses.

- Wait, Mom. - Mm-hmm?

- What time do you leave tomorrow?

- My flight is at 9:15.

I printed out this for you.

It's in my safe.

Gigi, Bella, and Anwar,

and I just wanted you to see it

so you know what it looks like,

and this is for you guys.

- What? - It's nothing.

It's just my... my will.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- That's not nothing, and I don't like

that's... how you just say that so calmly.

- I'm saying it calmly because it's important.

This... you know, nothing is gonna happen,

but I just want you guys to know that this is in the safe,

and this is all you need to know.

When I was a young girl, one day I went to school,

and the next day my father was gone.

When my dad died, my life was never the same.

And, you know, my biggest worry lately is,

"Oh, my God. What if I die?

What's gonna happen to my children?"

Don't cry, Mommy. It's okay.

And I just want you guys to make sure

that you take care of my Mommy, okay?

- Why are you talking about that right now?

- I don't know why we're talking about the surgery

like something is gonna happen.

Because I think that if 51% of you feels like

something's gonna happen, you shouldn't do it.

- Gigi, nothing's gonna happen. I just...

- Why are you showing us your will?

- I'm... well, do you... It's important, Bella.

It's very important.

Nothing is gonna happen. I'm fine.

The woman has done 9,000 surgeries like mine

and nothing has ever happened.

I'm just... don't want to have any surprises,

and this is all you need to know.

I mean, this will take care of you kids

for the rest of your life

and take care of my mommy and my brother.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Next time, on "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills"...

- What's going on with you?

- I adore you so much.

- Tell me everything.

- All right, diva, well, listen.

- Did you call me diva, darling?

Off we go.

Hamptons, here we come.

- Home sweet home.

- Wow.

- Thank you, Mauricio.

This is quintessential Hamptons,

and I feel a little guilty about leaving Lisa,

but it's vanishing really quickly.

- Are you crazy? I've come all the way here.

I can't leave the room.

Well, I'm a bit pissed off they didn't stay.

It seems a little high maintenance for me.

- I'm going into surgery now,

and then I'll call you when I finish.

- Okay, I love you.

- Kim was arrested?

- I think she needs help.

- She would not go into a store

and steal $600 worth of toys.

- Obviously, she's not of sound mind.

- Do you know where she is? Do you know anything?

- To learn more about the "Housewives,"

go to Bravotv.com.