Original subtitles

(Kim) Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills...

I know that you need your relationship with Brandi,

and I totally get that.

It does seem like she's adding a lot of fuel

to the fire though.

(Kim) I really didn't know if I was gonna tear her head off.

I just felt like it wasn't her business.

Maybe Kim is, like...

Whatever the "program" is, she's not doing it.

Whoo!

Out of her [bleep] mind.

I think Kim's an addict.

It's not necessarily our place to stage an intervention.

We can't do something like that.

We don't even know.

(Lisa V) If Lisa questions Kim's sobriety,

she's playing with fire.

(Brandi) Amsterdam!

[all cheering]

Amsterdam, here we come.

(Kim) I don't drink.

I don't do drugs.

So, please stop talking about me.

(Lisa R) I was concerned about you.

People need to mind their own beeswax.

Every time I'm ever late, you always make a big deal.

What is she talking about? I don't even know where that just came from.

Welcome to Amsterdam?

[upbeat music]

(Lisa V) Throw me to the wolves,

and I shall return leading the pack.

(Yolanda) Character isn't what you have. It's who you are.

(Lisa R) You've heard a lot about me,

but it's only true when it comes from my lips.

(Eileen) I'm not a bitch, but I've played one on TV.

(Kim) I've been rich, and I've been famous,

but happiness beats them both.

(Brandi) I'd rather spend my life kicking ass than kissing it.

(Kyle) Planes and yachts are nice, but my happiness starts at home.

(woman) Welcome to Amsterdam! Whoo!

Should we check our luggage, making sure it all gets off?

(Yolanda) No, no, he'll take care of it.

- Hello. Hello. - Good morning.

Welcome to Hotel De L'Europe.

- "Dank je dinka." - Dank je wel.

(both) Dank je wel.

(Brandi) I do know a few Dutch words:

"Flooten, flacken, flacken, fooken."

[bleep] is universal though.

(Kim) I love this lobby and these chandeliers.

[speaks Dutch]

(Yolanda) Home sweet home.

The smell of my country, the food,

the language... you know, it's...

That's my culture.

That's where I feel most complete.

- Bye. - Okay.

- Okay, see you guys in a bit. - See you later.

Yes, let's go.

Hi there.

- Hello. Hi. - How are you?

Well, it took a long time to get here, but it's beautiful.

(Lisa V) It feels fantastic to finally touch down in Amsterdam.

We're gonna celebrate. We're gonna have fun.

We're gonna get naughty.

There we go.

(Yolanda) My favorite blue.

It's very Dutch. [chuckles]

- Beautiful... - Oh.

Deluxe one-bedroom suite with river view for you.

(Eileen) Oh, it's gorgeous.

So romantic... red roses and champagne all by myself.

[laughs]

[sighs]

Oh!

I've never been so happy to see you guys.

Hi.

(Lisa R) To see Lisa and Eileen

is like seeing a lifeboat in a very stormy ocean.

I had... I've been very open about talking about Kim

and trying to help her.

Come to getting on the private jet to go to Calgary,

I walk up, and we're all saying our hellos.

I don't get anything from Kim, and she just doesn't look at me,

doesn't say hi, and doesn't hug me.

Like, she was angry.

"You're talking behind my back. It's none of your business."

Why does it have to get mean and vicious?

- Because she's defensive. - I'll tell you why.

She's an addict,

and this is a classic, textbook addict behavior.

Why is there always an excuse for this bad behavior?

- Well, this is why. - Excuse me.

Eileen, Kim is gonna come right at you, my friend.

(Eileen) Oh, good.

I don't know what the [bleep] to expect.

Kim is in a weird place,

so for Eileen's sake, she better watch out.

I don't think anybody should be afraid of her.

(Lisa R) I'll be civil. I'll be kind.

All right, let's go to our rooms.

I need some sleep before...

I need to get a little I don't know what.

I got the check. I put it on my room.

- Don't worry about it. - Okay, thank you. Thank you.

(Eileen) Since you have the nice room.

(Yolanda) Hi, guys. How are you?

- Good. - Welcome.

- Hi. - Hey, Eileen.

Welcome, girls.

- And hi, my beauty. - Hi.

Did you get some sleep?

I slept like a baby.

I didn't wash my hair. I just crashed.

And this is what you look like not washing your hair

and crashing?

- Hi. - Hi.

Hi, everybody.

- Hi, darling. - Welcome.

- How are you? - How was your flight?

- It was good. - Good, good, good.

So now, we're missing one... Your sister.

Oh.

It seems like there's a lot of things bothering Kim,

but she's using me as her punching bag.

- Hi. - How are you?

Good, how are you?

(Brandi) Everyone's wearing black.

I feel like we're going to a funeral.

I like it though.

I'm thinking to myself,

"Is this just because everyone's jet-lagged?"

But honestly,

it's been since poker night.

[bells chiming]

- That beautiful. - Yeah.

Ah, welcome!

(Yolanda) Bicycles in Holland go before anybody.

(Lisa R) They'll run you right over, so don't get run over.

I went to Amsterdam when I was 18,

and I was too scared to go in the red-light district.

I'm too afraid to go anywhere.

Fear holds you back.

So now, I think it's fabulous.

(Lisa V) I've been here before, but I haven't been here for 30 years.

(Brandi) I haven't been here for 20.

(Yolanda) Hi.

[both speaking Dutch]

(Lisa V) Thank you.

(woman) Oh.

Do you want to go to the red light district?

How is it looked upon, you know, here?

Is it looked upon like something you aspire to do, or...

- No, no. - Oh, Lisa. Come on.

Well, no.

Oh, yeah, I want to grow... I want to be a hooker.

Listen, if I was dead broke

and I had to feed my three children,

I would do anything, even that.

- Well, true. - Cheers.

(Lisa V voice-over) I don't understand this prostitution rationale.

I mean, I don't think you need a dick in your mouth

to put food in their mouths.

Sorry. Just saying.

So to start off this trip,

I'd love to go around the table and see

if any of you have something to share that, you know...

I don't know, that connects us on a deeper level.

I really wanted to share with you guys, especially with you,

because you were with me when it happened...

Was that my daughter got a DUI.

The thought of what could have happened to her...

Like, it shook me, you know?

But I just wanted to share that with you girls,

because I think sometimes we talk... you know,

we try to hide all these things from each other,

and, you know, just to pretend that we're all so perfect.

Well, guess what? We're not perfect.

My life isn't perfect either.

(voice-over) In Beverly Hills, nobody really shows anymore the true core

of who they are as a human being,

and I think that that to me is important.

As a mother,

obviously you can't control their choices, you know?

You're gonna cry. Why are you gonna cry?

- It's emotional to me. - Oh, no.

(Lisa R) It's emotional.

(Lisa V) Stop. It's okay. It's all good.

Why is it emotional?

(Lisa R) Well, it's so long ago,

but I lost my sister when I was six to a drug overdose...

- Oh, yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.

And alcohol.

My sister died of a Seconal and alcohol overdose.

And she was 21.

So I have really deep-rooted issues

about people dying from alcohol and drug overdoses.

I just... it's in my DNA.

It's in my blood.

[sniffles] I didn't really process it.

So I'm so terrified of my own children

and everyone, you know?

If I ever come across too strong about anything,

I definitely have a... You know, a fear of it.

- An Achilles' heel. - An Achilles' heel.

And it, you know...

I'm sorry if I've ever, you know,

gotten into your business.

I never meant to. I only wanted to...

Well, you have.

- Gotten into your business? - Yes, you have.

And we've discussed that.

I only meant to help.

Lisa, I have been sober for three years,

and in three years, my friends right here and my family

have not ever seen me like that in three years.

- But I saw you like that. - Okay.

Don't [bleep] feel sorry for me, bitch.

Okay. I won't.

You don't know what I go through at night.

- I call a thousand. - The blue, not the black.

You don't even know what you're doing, you stupid...

I don't know what I'm doing.

- [bleep] you. - Don't [bleep] call me stupid.

(Lisa R) Don't start me with... don't. Don't.

I said that night I had taken something for pain,

and it obviously didn't work for me, and I... let me finish.

And I said that.

It didn't react to me,

and the next day, I ended up in the hospital for a week.

If any of my friends right here had seen that more than once

in three years, my friends,

my sister would have come to me,

and they would have been concerned.

You have gone around to everybody

and talked to them, asking...

How do you know I've gone around to everybody?

And you too. And you too.

Don't point your finger at me, Kim.

(Kim) And you too.

And you too, asking where I've gone to treatment,

do I have a sponsor?

We've asked you. We've asked you.

You've asked me if I was okay, and I said I am fine.

I asked you if you were in meetings.

And I told you on the plane, I am fine.

Kim, we care about you.

I'm concerned about you.

First of all, let's not talk about...

- This is supposed to be nice. - Excuse me.

Yolanda started this to have a nice...

I'm concerned about you... At your situation at home.

You want to bring out my stuff? Let's talk about your home life.

- Kim. - Excuse me.

- I'm not talking to you. - Well, I'm talking to you.

- Excuse me. - Shame on you.

- We've all talked about it. - I have not...

- Shame on you. - I'm not talking to you.

- And I'm talking to you. - Shut your [bleep] mouth.

I've had enough of you, you beast.

- Excuse me. Beast? - Yeah.

How dare you.

- How dare me? - You came into my home.

- And I apologized. - You know what?

- Actually, you didn't. - And in three years...

Actually, you didn't.

- I don't like you. - Guess what?

I don't particularly like you either.

Well, good.

I can't find one damn thing to like

about you right now in the moment.

Well, good. I've never found one thing to like about you.

I did nothing to you.

From your hair to your face to your attitude.

Would you stop... why would you treat her like that?

(Eileen) I don't know where this hatred is coming from.

It's pure evil.

- What is wrong with you? - Hush. Hush up.

You should have said right from the beginning...

In three years, I have been okay.

I talked to them on the plane, you were like this.

- What the [bleep] was that? - Why do you act like this, Kim?

(Kyle) You want me to defend you, even though you're acting like that.

I'm not... just because I'm your sister, I'm supposed...

I've never needed you to defend me, 'cause you never have.

Kim, yes, I have.

She does defend you, Kim. She does defend you 1,000%.

She defends me more than you do.

Kathy would not ever act like this.

Kathy would have my back like a real sister.

(Kim) You have been doing this to me for years.

It's not okay to talk to your sister or anyone like that.

You don't understand... You don't understand

the relationship with my...

No, I don't, but it's not okay

to talk to anyone like that, Kim.

It's just not okay.

Your behavior's not okay.

- Really? - Yeah, it's not okay.

Why don't you have a piece of bread,

and maybe you'll calm down a little.

- Shame on you. - Oh, for God's sakes, come on.

(Eileen) You're disgusting, Kim.

Please...

Can I interfere one second?

I understand your sensitivity,

because you've worked really hard for three years.

When I talked to her, she said,

"Yolanda, I've lost two brother-in-laws.

My husband has only been sober for three years."

Let's talk about the husband.

Excuse me, did you just say, "Let's talk about the husband"?

Let's not talk about what you don't want out.

You know what? Let me tell you something.

You're a scary, vicious human being.

Don't you ever... Don't touch my husband ever.

- Just saying. Just saying. - Don't you [bleep] ever...

What you don't want out for everybody to know...

You better watch what you talk about me, or everybody will know...

- You never go near my husband. - Everybody will know.

Everybody will know.

[bleep] you! Do you understand that?

Everybody will know.

Never go after my [bleep] husband!

Everybody will know what you don't want!

(Kyle) Coming up...

She lies about me,

and all I said was I was gonna tell the truth

about her [bleep] life.

You want me to defend you, but your behavior is indefensible.

(Kim) She's lying about me.

- Never go near my husband. - Everybody will know.

Everybody will know.

[bleep] you! Do you understand that?

Everybody will know.

Never go after my [bleep] husband!

Everybody will know what you don't want!

(Eileen) Don't go there. Don't go there.

Don't go.

Don't you [bleep] go near my husband ever.

[bleep].

I [bleep] lost my [bleep] marbles.

What the [bleep] does Kim know about Harry?

What did he do?

She doesn't even know my husband.

[sobbing]

It's gone too far.

(Kim) I'm sorry, but she can't lie about me,

or I'll tell something that is true!

(Lisa V) Kim, stop it. Stop it now.

- It's okay. - [sobbing]

I know. I know.

- I'm sorry for... - I know. I know.

I know. All right.

Don't cry. Don't cry, please.

(Kim) Go after your new friend, Kyle.

Oh, Kim, stop!

How can I defend your behavior when you act like this?

What are you talking about?

She lies about me,

and all I said was I was gonna tell the truth

about her [bleep] life.

You want me to defend you, but your behavior is indefensible.

(Kim)

She's lying about me.

You came from a good place.

(Lisa V) She's just gone... like, I...

I'm like, "You've gone too far.

You've gone too far. Stop."

(Kim) How can someone be such a mean person?

I don't even know what to... This is... I've never...

I have, like, glass in my [bleep] skin.

It's awesome.

[Kyle sobbing]

I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry.

Thought she was gonna choke me.

I'll be in trouble for not defending her.

That's the best part.

I'm sick of [bleep] defending behavior

that's indefensible and covering for her [bleep] ass.

(Lisa V) Okay, look. You've got to breathe deep.

Come on. Get it together. Get it together.

Let's go back to the hotel. Let's go back to the hotel.

(Kim) Kyle... that just gets me. Really?

[bleep] that.

- What happened? - I don't even...

- I don't even know what to say. - I know.

I mean, that is not the way to communicate.

- She was... - Kim.

Once again, after we already discussed it on the plane?

But, Kim, there are certain way to talk.

- Oh, my God. - That is not the way to talk.

Sometimes Kim speaks without thinking,

and then it turns out to be these explosions

that are so unnecessary.

I have been pushed to the limit with this.

Every day, I hear something new that she said.

(Yolanda) Well, this is not okay.

(Kyle) [bleep]. [bleep].

[bleep].

I get it, but you can say the same thing...

(Kim) I have. I said it on the plane.

- You can say the exact same... - I said it on the plane.

I've said it. She sent me texts.

I told her I don't want to discuss it.

I said, "Do not bring this up again.

We're done." And she does it again tonight.

And then this one's screaming at me?

[jabbering mockingly]

I don't want to discuss it again.

I'm done.

You don't know what I go through.

- Hey, Kyle. - You don't understand.

- Don't put up with it. - Nobody knows.

I know. I know. I've seen it for years, yeah.

She feels responsible for her sister.

She feels responsible for everything she does,

and she can't defend her, and it's...

But if I don't defend her, I'm an ass[bleep] and a bad person.

(Lisa V) With the rest of the family.

I don't know how you do it, Kyle.

(Kyle) Really mean stuff.

You know, you shouldn't go after

her husband or her children.

That's where we draw the line.

Here's the thing. She's going after me.

- But not after your children. - And... yes.

Because when you go after me...

My kids have been through hell with my drinking,

and I will never let her do that,

because if they ever thought for one minute

that I was drinking or using,

they would walk away from me in a heartbeat.

But if people started hearing that...

And she's spreading the rumor.

And that affects my children.

I'm fine. Hurt me.

You [bleep] with my kids, I will [bleep] with you.

And I've always said that.

And that's what she's doing.

She's [bleep] with my family now.

Alcohol ruled my life.

It called the shots,

and it took a hell of a fight to get it back.

I'm just not gonna let one person go around

putting doubt in people's minds.

You need to stand up for yourself,

and you need to take your power.

- Yeah. - And I love what you're saying.

I just don't agree with the way you're saying it.

There was no way for me to get my point across,

'cause there were five people talking at me at once.

- The same point... - So I was having to...

And Lisa should not have stood up and thrown a glass

or tried to choke her and...

She threw... came like this, threw her glass.

I mean, not a glass of wine. Threw a glass down.

These women just don't know how to drop something

when you ask them to drop it, so it sent Kim into a rage,

and I get it.

(Kyle) Sorry if my room is a little messy.

I was rushing to get dressed.

Oh, my God.

(Eileen) I may go. I don't know. Maybe I'll go home early.

No, we're not going home early.

We're not doing that, okay?

We're not gonna let her ruin the night.

(Brandi) Oh, my gosh. [bleep] hey, what do we do?

It's hard to watch how she treats you.

(Lisa R) It is.

(Eileen) And it's like, everybody's saying

it's nobody's business, but when you see it,

it becomes our business.

It's just weird to say... to just pretend

you're not seeing it and you don't have an opinion about it.

(Eileen voice-over) I feel so sorry for Kyle.

Kim treats Kyle in a very demeaning way.

I don't understand.

Whatever your personal relationship

is with your family member...

To treat them like that in front of other people,

it's just gross.

I can't even think straight.

- I know, I'm like... - I'm so jet-lagged.

(Brandi) I feel like... getting, like, shards of glass

out of my hair and my ears

and thinking, "What the [bleep] just happened?"

(Kim) Me too. It's all over me too.

I have glass in my pants.

Any defending I do, any supporting her,

there seems to be absolutely no acknowledgement,

no appreciation, so what's the point?

(Eileen) Kyle, nothing you do will ever be enough.

Why do I do that? Why continue to do that?

(Lisa V) It'll never be good enough.

(Kyle) She always wants to try to put me down

in front of everyone, but when we're alone, she says,

"You've always been there for me.

You've supported me always."

I'm tired of this [bleep] abuse.

It's getting harder and harder

to brush over things and pretend like everything's okay.

Are we ever gonna be just okay?

You know, it's always like, well, Kim is the weak one.

You know, Kyle's the strong one,

so I'm supposed to have to be [bleep]...

[crying]

Maybe it's the other way around, you know?

(Lisa V) No, it's not the other...

She didn't seem so [bleep] weak tonight.

At the end of the day, you are sisters.

You'll always stand up for each other at the end of the road.

You stick together, and you should

because you're sisters... You're family.

I think after tonight, I really need a break.

(Lisa R) Kyle, it's abusive.

And when you're in an abusive relationship,

you walk away from it.

You are being abused by Kim.

The cruelty is just, like...

- I know. - It's so cruel.

It's so bizarre to me.

It's them. They're in so much pain.

(Lisa V) It's weird that they found each other, isn't it?

- I know. - They're in so much pain.

It's like a perfect match.

(Eileen voice-over) Kim and Brandi are both very mean people.

They have no problem going places

where other people just would not go.

They seem very comfortable with crossing a line.

(Yolanda) Well, how are we gonna continue this week?

Well, you know what, Yolanda?

It's your country. You're our hostess.

So you say, "You be on your best [bleep] behavior or don't come."

That's it.

Well, do you think tomorrow, moving forward, that...

(Kim) I don't want to look at Lisa.

- She's just... after really... - But just... I know, I know.

I had my throat almost torn off, a glass of wine

thrown and broken all over me.

- I'm just... - I get it, you know?

And that face... The one next to her.

[jabbering mockingly]

We can't show up at my mom's house like this.

- I mean, it just isn't... - Absolutely not.

- I mean, not the way we work. - No.

(Brandi) I'm gonna be on my best behavior,

but I don't think it's me they should be worried about.

It's not me this time.

[quietly] Thank God.

It's so provoking.

(Lisa V) I feel like I want to run again.

- That's me. - We're not fleeing.

We're not doing that.

- Yolanda... - That's so... in me.

(Lisa V) I just think as soon as that intense conflict...

We just got here. We're not doing that.

(Lisa V) I think... I don't want any part of it.

(Kyle) We'll either talk it out, or we'll avoid them.

We'll do something separate.

We're all gonna hang together, and...

(Kyle) We're not doing that. We're not doing that.

I will never talk it out with her.

I can tell you that right now. That will never happen.

- Just so you know, I... - I hear you.

I don't want to talk anything out right now either.

I love you and respect you,

but I will never, ever talk to your sister again.

(Brandi) Coming up...

We dated.

Dated? Really?

[woman laughs]

- They had a kiss? - We kissed? Oh.

(Lisa R) Last night was ugly.

I am in a post-traumatic mode, and I'm not all here.

I'm half here.

[knock at door]

I'm in survival mode.

(Kim) Do you have a minute to talk?

- Yeah. - Okay.

Come on in.

- Can we sit down? - Yeah, come on in.

(Lisa R voice-over) I can't imagine what she has to say to me.

I am just... I can't even

process the fact that she's right in front of me.

This has gotten just completely crazy,

and basically, Lisa,

you having concern for me was fine,

but I would've respected you more if you had come to me.

And I thought we'd handled it on the plane.

You worry about your own family. Stop talking about me.

(Lisa R) Kim, I come from a good place.

Drop it now.

Okay.

When you brought it up in front of seven people last night

after we agreed you weren't going to,

it completely infuriated me, and you saw a side...

I see how angry you were. Yes, I absolutely did.

Because this is... This is the most important thing

in my life... my sobriety.

And that's where my children get hurt, that's where...

Well, that's never my intention.

That's where my children...

It really is never my intention.

That's where my children

really got hurt by all of this a long time ago.

That I didn't know.

Things people said that weren't true...

That I don't... I'm not aware of.

But when it starts affecting my children...

I understand.

I will [bleep] kill for my kids.

You really pissed me off. I've got to say that.

It was really low last night, what happened, and...

For both of us.

(Kim) I spent most of the night up.

I was very upset about what happened.

And what I saw was me at my ugliest.

So it bothered me to see where I allowed this person to take me.

And I protected myself as you did last night,

and I was not behind your back talking about you.

And I think I've come at it only with good intentions.

That's what you really need to know.

I felt like we had talked in Eileen's kitchen,

and that you had opened up.

You can get help. You can talk to people.

You can go to... you know,

if you feel comfortable going to a meeting,

going to a group... anything so that you're not alone.

[in singsong] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Right?

You really had wanted help.

I thought when you said, you know, "I'm here for you,"

I thought you meant as a friend, not going to people

saying, "Is Kim... Where does she go to treatment?

Does she have a sponsor?"

I'm so confused.

I really should have just come to you, but I was scared.

And I was concerned.

I didn't know really how to handle it.

I really didn't.

She told me in full terms to back off,

and she had to go to a place

that was so nasty in order to back me off.

Well, in the midst of it, I could've killed her,

but I'm backed off now.

And let's let her best friend Brandi help her now.

I'm sorry I didn't come to you.

Thank you.

I am sorry I didn't come to you,

because just... I really was coming from a good place.

If you and I can come from kindness, we can be okay.

I just want to put it aside and remind you that I am good.

(Kim voice-over) I forgive her.

I can do that, 'cause I want peace in my life.

I think that's part of one of the things that

I learned being in treatment on and off all these years.

Are we good?

I believe so. I believe we can move forward.

- Brandi, I'm so excited. - I know.

Seeing my mom... I was up at 4:00.

Like, I couldn't go back to sleep.

I was up at 3:00. It's crazy.

- I just... - Anyway.

Don't know how everyone...

I hope everyone just... [clicks tongue]

(Lisa V) I didn't sleep all night.

My brain was going round and round at 99 miles an hour.

- Hi. - Good morning, guys.

- Hello. - Good morning.

Yeah.

So we're just waiting for Lisa and Kim,

and then we're off.

- Are they coming? - I believe so.

I saw Kim this morning as she was going up

to talk to Lisa and try to smooth things over.

Wow.

I'm hoping that Kim is apologizing

and that hopefully she'll apologize to me and Kyle next.

I just want to go for a bike ride and get some fresh air.

We are, we're going... I'm gonna show you the windmills.

Get rid of all the negative energy.

- Hey.

- Hi. - How are you?

Hi, guys. Oh.

- It's good to see you. - Hello.

(Eileen) You pulled it together, didn't you?

- Hello, my girls. - Oh, look at you.

- You have a smile on your face. - Yeah.

(Eileen) So did you two work things out?

I mean, it was kind of a big thing.

(Lisa R) Well, you know,

I think we came to an understanding. I do.

It was pretty mind-blowing, especially for Lisa.

For all of a sudden it to be okay

and like nothing happened... My brain is not computing.

So I'm hoping that we just can, you know, have a nice day...

(Yolanda) Should we wait? Yeah.

And ride around Amsterdam

and enjoy ourselves, because that's why we're here.

Yeah, let's go to the windmills.

- We're gonna do some biking. - That's right.

Everybody can get their anger out,

and then we're gonna eat some cake and good food.

My life would be so much easier,

because Kim is my sister, just to brush this under the carpet

and forget this happened, but I can't.

But what happened last night was just too intense.

- Hi. Mm.

- I'm glad you came. - Yeah, yeah.

(Yolanda) Well, we're all here. Let's go.

- You okay? - Mm-hmm.

- Three. - Mm-huh.

- Come on then. - Comes in three.

(Kim) Good morning.

- Morning, darling.

- Hi. - Hi.

- All right, let's go. - Okay.

(Brandi) Gray is the color of the day.

You guys are okay?

Yeah, we're good.

(Yolanda) Okay.

[speaking Dutch] They're here. Good-bye.

- Oops. - Don't get run over by a bike.

- Amsterdam. - Bikes everywhere.

Uh... you know what? I'm gonna be right here.

(Lisa R) God, I forgot those bikes are [bleep] crazy.

Well, they... It's all about the bikes.

We're about to be on some.

(Yolanda) I'm excited to take them

to Papendrecht, where I was born and raised.

I guess I'm just still a little girl at heart,

because I'm proud of where I came from.

That's what made me who I am today,

and I want them to understand that.

The core of me is that tiny little town in Holland.

My town used to be just like that when I grew up.

You see all this land?

That's very Dutch.

Those are all the old little houses.

(Lisa R) Oh, how cute.

This is where... Guys, this is where I lived.

This is... this flat here.

On the second floor... This is where I was born.

Wow, this is really down memory lane.

- Literally. - Literally.

(Kyle) Oh, here's the bike shop.

(all) Hi.

- How are you? - Hello, ladies. How are you?

- Good. - Good. How are you?

(Lisa R) What would be a good size for me?

- Maybe this? - I think this one.

- Yeah. - [bleep].

Oh.

(Lisa R) Last time I rode something that big was

Harry last week.

No.

[laughs]

I'm like... I feel like I'm in a circus.

Holy [bleep]. Watch out.

- I can't touch the floor. - [laughs]

- I can't touch the floor. - Look at Lisa.

(Yolanda) Let's go.

- If you want to slow down... - [yelps]

- Oh! [laughter]

- Girlfriends bike like this. - Okay.

Okay. One holds on.

Is this how [bleep] bike?

It seems aggressive.

No, it's just like... It's romantic.

Okay.

Yolanda's back in town, everyone.

This is my home sweet home.

- Oh, it's beautiful. - Isn't it cute?

- I love it. - That's my doctor's office.

[women scream]

That was close.

(Eileen) I'm having to focus on riding the bike,

and I can't think about anything else.

That's nice.

It's like a little brain vacation.

You know, girls, I wanted to show you the windmills.

- Yeah? - Where are we going?

(woman) The "vind-er-mills."

- Oh, it's gorgeous. - This is amazing.

(Kim) I love your country.

(Yolanda) Me too. I love it.

- It's amazing. - [bleep] gorgeous.

[muttering]

Oh, nobody's home, but we'll...

- People live there? - What?

- Someone lives there? - Yeah, people... yeah, of course.

- People live in that? - Yeah.

(Kim) That's just a very simple, quiet life.

I wonder what they would do if they came and saw ours.

Probably like, "Run for the... Run for the windmills!"

(Kim) I can't believe people live in these things.

(Yolanda) I think I'm gonna buy a windmill.

(Brandi) This is hurting the... pussycat.

[Kim laughs]

- Hallo. - Hallo.

- Ik ben Yolanda. Hi. - Hallo.

Ahoi. Hi. Hi. Yolanda.

[speaking Dutch] I remember you from back then.

From where?

From school or Papendrecht?

We dated.

Dated? Really?

[woman laughs]

- Your name? - Peter Paul.

- They had a kiss? - We kissed? Oh.

[laughter] Really?

- Oh, my God. - Was it good?

(Yolanda) I don't remember.

- I was asking him. - It was very short. Yeah.

(Yolanda voice-over) I'm gonna blame it on the brain damage,

because I swear to God I do not remember the guy.

I don't even remember his name, and it makes me feel awful,

because he said I gave him a kiss.

I mean, I should remember who I kissed.

So that's so cool.

(Lisa V) If things had gone better,

Yolanda could have been living here.

All this could have been yours, Yolanda.

Do it again, just for old times' sake.

- [laughs] - [jabbering in fake Dutch]

She was clearly riding a lot of things.

It wasn't just bikes in Holland.

(Peter Paul) Okay, girls, now look like you're happy you've met me.

- Get in here. - Come on, girls.

- Get in. - Get in, Kyle.

- Like that. - We're good?

Yeah? Take more. Take more.

My wife won't believe me. [laughter]

(Lisa V) Oh, she definitely won't.

(Kyle) Coming up...

I can do this. Lisa.

(Yolanda) Nice, deep body stone.

[laughter]

You are kidding me. [groans]

Oh!

- This is good for your butt. - Really?

Guys, this is one of the oldest street in town.

Oh, my God, this is serious sexual stimulation.

(Lisa V) This is huge.

I haven't ridden something this big for ages.

Oh, I've been away from my husband too long.

Oh! Oh!

Most fun I've had in years.

[laughs]

(Yolanda) Welcome to my mammie's home.

[speaking Dutch] Shall I get the coffee?

No, of course not.

- You excited? - Yeah, I'm so excited.

I think they're stuck in the elevator.

(Leo) Uh-oh.

- 52 yellow. [intercom beeps]

(woman) Mama, let us in.

Hi, love, we're here.

[doorbell rings]

[speaking Dutch]

- Hi. - Hi. Hallo.

Hi, Mammie.

(Yolanda) Seeing my mom and my brother... you know,

it just warms my heart, because that's my family.

Long time, no see.

[both speaking Dutch]

(Yolanda) I love being with them.

Unfortunately, you know, I don't get to see them enough.

Look at this.

- Doesn't it look good? - Fantastic.

It's my favorite, favorite cake.

Tell me if it's amazing or not.

- Oh, my God. - Oh, my God, to die for, right?

It's amazing.

You can't be doing your L.A. diet thing here.

- Eat up, chicken. - Shut up.

[both laugh]

Gigi. [speaking Dutch]

- Yeah. - For Chanel.

- Gigi for Chanel today. - Oh.

- Isn't it cute? - Wow.

- Yeah. - She looks like my mom.

[both speaking Dutch]

My mom survived breast cancer and, you know,

to now go through uterine cancer is obviously...

You know, her body's tired,

and she's struggling, but her spirit is strong.

I mean, she's one kick-ass woman.

(Leo) Are we going to the coffee shop?

Of course.

I was trying to explain to the girls that,

you know, just because it's legal...

But, like, we never did it.

I mean, have you ever... We never did drugs, which is...

Well, Leo... I don't know.

- Oh. [laughter]

The plan tonight is apparently to go out

to the pot cookie shop, which sounds like it'll be fun.

I mean, you're obliged to do something like that.

You're in Amsterdam.

But... so what do you do

at the Bulldog coffee shop if you don't want to?

- If you want to... - If you don't smoke?

(Kim) Yeah.

(Ans) That's why you're gonna do that.

You smoke or...

(Leo) Or you eat, or you smoke, or you...

No, no. You go in for to smoke weed.

- Joint. - A joint.

- But what if you don't do that? - Then you don't go in.

It's not nice to go there then.

(Kim) I don't think it's a good idea.

Nope, I don't do that.

(Lisa R) What do they put in a space cake?

- Hashish or marijuana? - I don't really know.

- Hash. Hash. - It's hash.

(Lisa V) Is it very strong? I mean, like...

- No, it's not so strong. - Yeah.

(Lisa V) Have you done it, Ans? Have you...

- Yeah, I try it. - You have?

- Yeah. - How was it for you?

Okay.

I eat the space cake, and I don't feel anything.

Nothing? [laughter]

(woman) "I didn't feel anything."

(Yolanda) I was so happy to see you on the bicycle.

Once I saw you on the bicycle with the windmills behind you,

I knew... you know, I didn't want you to miss that day.

- It was magical. - We both were not going.

And then we just said,

"We can't let that kind of stuff get in the way."

Oh, no. You know what? Life's too short.

Time to move on... move forward. Just...

I am so glad to be able to share in this beautiful part

of the world that Yolanda calls home,

and thank God I didn't let that moment ruin everything.

(Yolanda) You know, my brother has to put the kids to bed

not too late, so I think we should get going.

- Where's Kim? Is she coming? - Mm-mm.

- Kim's not coming? - I don't know.

(Lisa V) No, she's not coming.

Well, I don't think she's gonna go to the pot shop, is she?

She's not gonna go to the pot shop.

- Oh. - Yeah.

(Kyle) It's best that Kim isn't coming.

Kim and I are not even looking at each other.

It may not be the most mature route to go,

but anything other than this is going to lead to a disaster.

- Oh, what a gorgeous night. - It's beautiful, isn't it?

(Kyle) I don't know why I feel so good.

I have to buy my kids some presents.

- Some clogs. - Dark alleys alone?

What's what my mother always told me.

(Yolanda) Hey, that's why I brought my brother.

- Exactly. - He's like our bodyguard.

You know, I cannot imagine...

Like, you with your sister... Like, I cannot imagine.

I couldn't go a day without talking to my brother.

- Oh. - No, honestly.

I wish I had a brother.

(Kyle) I smell "Mary J. Guana."

Kyle. My back hurts.

This is for medicinal purposes.

- [groans] - I've got it.

[laughter]

(Kyle) I'm gonna get a contact high.

(Lisa V) This is for medicinal purposes.

(Kyle) Oh, my God, is that what that is?

- Is that it? - Shh. Act mature.

(Yolanda) You look like such a tourist.

I mean, what is it?

Doobie, weed, pot, joint? I don't know.

Whatever you want to call it,

it's just out there for everybody.

There's one tailor-made for you.

Pungent, lemon, and hazy, full, energetic, and high.

You'll be cheerful and happy for 12 weeks.

[laughter]

No, that's the flowering time.

Okay, is this really true that this is... will happen?

I guess so.

They know exactly what it'll make you feel like?

Oh, here's the one that makes you act like an ass[bleep].

That's what was happening last night.

[laughs]

- You're having a space cake. - I am not.

- What? What? - You're eating the space cake.

I am chickening out.

(Lisa V) Yolanda, your mother

has even had the space cake.

(Kyle) Your mother wants you to have a space cake.

- She wants you to. - Look at them.

They're like, trying to sell it.

Are you having a space cake?

I'm not.

Listen, I have children.

Whatever I do, I will not be admitting to.

(Kyle) So no one's having a space cake?

What are we doing here in space cake town?

Okay, let's get down to the core of it.

He's getting us a special muffin.

Who's gonna do it? Yes, are you in or...

I mean, we're kind of in Amsterdam.

It's kind of rude not to.

Yeah, it's rude not to.

I think, Brandi, you're gonna do a bite.

- Come on. - I can't.

- Yes, you can. - No, I can't.

- You can. - I can't.

(Brandi) I'm happy the 21-day cleanse thing is over.

I just don't think that I need to be high around these people.

I need to be, like, game on, ready for anything.

I can do this.

There's nothing in it, but I can...

This is what they do, right?

Yeah, that's... You twist the end, and...

Lisa. [laughing]

(Yolanda) "Nice deep body stone.

Strong, intense feeling."

Welcome to Amsterdam. [laughing]

No, but it... honestly, I think I'm getting a contact high.

It may be psychological.

It's just exhausting seeing these women pretend

to be something they're not.

Almost everyone I know smokes a little pot.

Who cares?

Is everyone here pretending like they've never smoked pot

in their lives?

- I have. - I have too, but I'm...

I have too.

The last time I smoked pot, I was with you,

so let's not pretend like we're angels.

- [laughs] - Thanks, Brandi.

- Sure. - [laughs]

I don't want to say that 'cause of my children, Brandi.

Well, if you don't want to say it, then don't do it.

- I'm not. - Okay.

But I don't want to say that 'cause of my kids.

It's a parenting choice, you know what I mean?

Mm, not really.

That's my... well, that is my opinion, and you know, okay...

Okay, that's your opinion, but go to sit here...

You can pretend all day long, but that's the truth.

But you always, like do things like that that are...

Whatever, it's fine.

(Kyle) She's dangerous, and she just throws things out there.

Not [bleep] cool.

- It's pure silver haze. - Pure silver haze?

You've ordered that? Here it is.

Just give it to me. I'll eat the whole thing.

(Lisa R) What will happen if you have, like, a bite?

- Nothing. - Go on, Lisa.

- If you have half? - Come on.

(woman) If you're not a regular smoker, then half of one will...

(Eileen) Keep going, Lisa. Keep going.

Then we're gonna watch you

in about an hour and make you paranoid.

(Lisa R) She's doing it.

She did it. She did it!

- No, Lisa. No. - Settle down, now.

[laughter]

Lisa, Lisa.

[laughs]

Listen, I lived in London in the '80s.

Trust me. Have I seen it all?

Yes. Have I done it all?

No.

But I've had a little whiff occasionally.

- Eileen... there goes Eileen. - Oh, Eileen!

I decided to give in because I'm weak,

and I succumb to peer pressure.

[laughs]

(Lisa V) You have some. Don't be such a pussy. Come on.

(Eileen) It's just... it's not gonna do anything.

- It's actually very good. - One bite.

(Lisa R) I have two children. I do.

And they also know that I never pass up a piece of cake.

Ever.

I'm already feeling something from the atmosphere.

Oh, for God's sake.

(Eileen) You're so sensitive.

No, I honestly... From the secondhand.

You're being ridiculous. You're being ridiculous.

Why wouldn't I feel it from the secondhand?

(Lisa V) You're being ridiculous. Eat it.

What were you like in high school?

Kyle, we all took a bite.

I know, but you don't understand.

It won't be good for any of us.

I really would be paranoid and weird.

"Oh, my God, I don't know what's going to happen to me.

I just can't. This is so creepy. I'm scared."

It's like, shut the [bleep] up and have some cake.

(Lisa V) We must be the best customers they've ever had...

One piece of cake between five of us.

(Eileen) Coming up...

You guys are the biggest hypocrites of all [bleep] time.

By the way, you know that

I said that you actually love those boys...

[screams]

Lisa, have some of this. [laughs]

Didn't that smell make you...

[Kyle laughs]

(Lisa V) You can't say things like that.

(Brandi) What?

The last time I smoked pot,

I was with you, so let's not pretend like we're angels.

(Brandi) Anyone and everyone can say

whatever the [bleep] they want to say about me,

but I can't say the truth about them,

and it's [bleep] annoying.

- Are you talking about me? - Yeah.

You guys can all have a [bleep] opinion about me.

You can say whatever the [bleep] you want,

but God forbid I tell the truth about you.

Then the world's ending 'cause you're a great parent.

Well, how the [bleep] do you think it makes me feel

when you're all talking [bleep] about me?

I've never said... I said actually...

You all have!

I've never said you're a bad parent.

- You all had... - I said you loved those boys.

Oh, I have an anger or drinking problems?

You guys are the biggest hypocrites of all [bleep] time.

By the way, you know that I said

that you actually love those boys...

[screams]

What is wrong with her?

(Brandi) I can't take it anymore.

There's different rules for different people.

God forbid I speak the truth, and it's below the belt.

It's [bleep] hypocritical.

[speaking Dutch] Let's go.

[groans]

God, I cannot deal with this.

(Eileen) Where is this coming from?

Finally, we're having a little reprieve from the drama

and the insanity,

but, no, here it comes again,

walking down the street, screaming bloody murder.

(Yolanda) What happened?

Yolanda, I'm just sick of everything.

- I'm, like, over it. - What?

Everyone's allowed to have an opinion on my life

and what I'm doing and what I'm not doing

and do I have a drinking problem, do I not.

But no one wants to hear the truth about their lives.

And I'm just [bleep] over it. I'm over it.

By the way, people have actually said something, and I said...

When someone made a comment that you... I won't even say it.

"Someone"? I already told you...

Because I'm not an ass[bleep] to do that to you, okay?

- Don't touch me. - I can say...

- Honestly, don't touch me. - Guys, guys. Brandi.

We've been through this. Don't touch me.

That's not about being aggressive.

- We'll talk more... - What I'm telling you is...

When you go like this, if someone like...

That's... just don't touch me.

Okay, I won't touch you. Whatever.

Let's just stay away from each other.

(Kyle) The things that we say about Brandi

are things that she has done.

What Brandi says about us

is designed to hurt people.

She cannot have a peaceful night.

(Lisa R) Next time on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills...

- I am Amster... - Oh, I am...

"I Amsterdam."

[camera shutter clicking]

Look at this. This is so cute.

(Lisa V) Oh, God, no.

What's the point in that?

(Eileen) That's one big snake.

(Kyle) Or one little wiener.

God has given all of us a certain job in life...

I don't want this [bleep] job.

The behavior was heinous, and to just say,

"Now we're gonna move on," is a [bleep] bunch of BS.

Sobriety's a very slippery slope.

Do we really want to go down that road?

Because it's a very personal issue.

Focus on your own family.

You know, Kim, sue me for giving a damn.

Listen, if anyone at this table wants help

being a homewrecker...

Don't [bleep] call me a homewrecker.

Don't bring it up, Brandi.

Pick on somebody your own...

(Eileen) To learn more about the housewives, go to...