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1
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♪ Born on the wrong end
Of the leash ♪
2
00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:04,082
-♪ He was a dreamer ♪
-♪ And a little schemer ♪
3
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:05,786
♪ A nutty mutt living a dog's life ♪
4
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,415
♪ But when he'd hear the bell for school ♪
5
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ He'd start to drool ♪
6
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:10,127
-♪ One day he says ♪
-♪ I'll take a chance ♪
7
00:00:10,208 --> 00:00:11,828
♪ Trades his leash
For a pair of pants ♪
8
00:00:11,917 --> 00:00:14,207
♪ In a glance, school becomes
His favorite pastime ♪
9
00:00:14,291 --> 00:00:16,581
♪ I have buried a bone
For the last time ♪
10
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,287
-♪ He says ♪
-♪ I want to be a boy ♪
11
00:00:18,375 --> 00:00:19,625
♪ Ooh, he's bad ♪
12
00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:21,129
♪ He's so over just being rover ♪
13
00:00:21,208 --> 00:00:22,578
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
14
00:00:22,667 --> 00:00:23,667
♪ It's so weird ♪
15
00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:25,040
♪ He says he's just gonna be a boy ♪
16
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,665
♪ Turns out he's a regular Einstein ♪
17
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,420
♪ And Leonard is treading a fine line ♪
18
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:30,960
Why can't I be a normal kid
like any other?
19
00:00:31,041 --> 00:00:33,131
Now, doodle bug, listen to mother.
20
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,918
♪ I want to be a boy ♪
21
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,920
I hate dogs.
22
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,460
♪ I gotta be a boy ♪
23
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,462
♪ This power pup's gonna be a boy ♪
24
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,502
I do not wish to be a dog.
25
00:00:43,583 --> 00:00:46,083
♪ Now this bowser's ready for trousers ♪
26
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:47,496
♪ I got to be a boy ♪
27
00:00:47,583 --> 00:00:49,083
♪ His nose is wet but you can bet ♪
28
00:00:49,166 --> 00:00:52,206
♪ This teacher's pet is gonna be a boy ♪
29
00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,251
Yes!
30
00:00:55,709 --> 00:00:59,919
[bagpipes play]
31
00:01:09,625 --> 00:01:12,415
[jazz music plays]
32
00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:18,328
[upbeat dance music plays]
33
00:01:18,417 --> 00:01:19,787
Garbage!
34
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:20,705
[classical music plays]
35
00:01:20,792 --> 00:01:22,042
Garbage!
36
00:01:22,667 --> 00:01:24,457
More garbage!
37
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,752
Brother, Saturday afternoon TV
is the worst!
38
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:29,710
[birds chirp]
39
00:01:29,792 --> 00:01:31,582
Ah, now we're talking.
40
00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:34,127
[announcer] The Soporific
Scientific Channel presents
41
00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:36,668
"Exotic Birds Of
South America."
42
00:01:36,750 --> 00:01:40,500
Holy Hannah!
I love the latinas!
43
00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,460
Hey! What happened to my
program?
44
00:01:43,542 --> 00:01:47,002
I changed it, and frankly,
I'm very disappointed in you,
45
00:01:47,083 --> 00:01:48,963
watching such titillating nonsense.
46
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:50,291
It's boorish.
47
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:52,875
Exotic birds are not boring!
48
00:01:52,959 --> 00:01:55,789
Not "boring"-- boorish.
49
00:01:55,875 --> 00:01:58,165
A boor is a cretin,
a philistine,
50
00:01:58,250 --> 00:02:00,040
an individual of no breeding.
51
00:02:00,125 --> 00:02:00,955
[belches]
52
00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:02,245
Oh, never mind.
53
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:05,083
Anyway, we're not watching
it anymore.
54
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:07,206
I dibbed the TV for the day
weeks ago.
55
00:02:07,291 --> 00:02:08,751
What for?
56
00:02:08,834 --> 00:02:11,714
Only the single-most unmissable
television event of the year.
57
00:02:11,792 --> 00:02:14,502
[announcer] Live from the East
Westland Municipal Auditorium,
58
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:17,333
it's the 67th Annual East Westland
59
00:02:17,417 --> 00:02:19,417
Canine Convocation Dog Show.
60
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,420
Okay, two things.
61
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,580
One, a cat watching a dog
show's an abomination!
62
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:26,417
And two, it doesn't start for
another hour.
63
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:29,830
This is the preshow.
I hate to miss any of the hype.
64
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,167
Ooh, look!
65
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:34,380
Their interactive website is
up and running.
66
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:40,128
67thcanineconvocation.dog.
67
00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:42,958
"Profiles of the dogs
and their owners,
68
00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:46,001
interviews, insight,
downloadable stats."
69
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,883
Ahh! And a fantasy
pick-the-winner game!
70
00:02:48,959 --> 00:02:50,129
I'm in heaven!
71
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:55,380
Pardon my confusion,
72
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:59,578
but I could have sworn you
were of the feline persuasion.
73
00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:02,667
Why do you give a hoot
about a dog show?
74
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:06,040
Well, one, they don't televise
the cat show.
75
00:03:06,125 --> 00:03:07,455
I don't understand that.
76
00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:10,332
And two, despite its heavy
canine energy,
77
00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:13,497
the dog show still champions
all the civilized traits
78
00:03:13,583 --> 00:03:15,293
that I, as a proud descendant
79
00:03:15,375 --> 00:03:19,035
of the Louisiana Puddinpuss
family, was taught to respect.
80
00:03:19,125 --> 00:03:21,285
Civilized traits?!
Like hacking up fur balls
81
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,535
and leaving half-mice on
the living-room floor?
82
00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:27,075
Ooh, look! The red carpet!
Oh, it's beautiful.
83
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,376
[announcer]
And here they come--
84
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:31,628
East Westland's proudest purebreds.
85
00:03:31,709 --> 00:03:33,999
Brother, look at all those
blue bloods.
86
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:37,003
I bet they got more papers
than a condor's birdcage.
87
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:38,043
Say, what breed are you, Spot?
88
00:03:38,709 --> 00:03:40,379
Breed? Why, I'm not sure.
89
00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:43,418
That is to say, I've never
actually seen my papers.
90
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:46,040
Leonard, perhaps you can enlighten us.
91
00:03:46,125 --> 00:03:49,125
What noble blood courses through
my canine veins?
92
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,208
I think you're just a mutt.
93
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:52,131
A mutt?!
94
00:03:52,208 --> 00:03:54,788
Mutt-- defined in the
dog-show glossary
95
00:03:54,875 --> 00:03:56,375
as "a dog of mixed breed,
96
00:03:56,458 --> 00:04:00,128
utterly unwelcome in our
hallowed halls-- a mongrel."
97
00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:05,418
Me-- Spot Helperman/Scott Leadready II--
a mongrel?
98
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,830
I think not!
99
00:04:06,917 --> 00:04:09,167
Now, now.
Don't feel bad.
100
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,920
We can't all be scions of
the Puddinpuss dynasty.
101
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,630
There's no shame in being an
untouchable.
102
00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:18,459
Your take on untouchables is
touching, but I don't accept it.
103
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:21,382
A dog of my intellect, taste,
and bravery?
104
00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:24,328
Come on, I must be a purebred.
105
00:04:24,333 --> 00:04:28,213
Perhaps I'm an Australian cattle dog,
106
00:04:28,291 --> 00:04:30,251
said to be among the smartest of breeds.
107
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:34,333
Or perhaps a poodle, the poshest of
pooches.
108
00:04:35,792 --> 00:04:38,882
Maybe my bravery derives from
the stalwart rescue blood
109
00:04:38,959 --> 00:04:40,459
of the St. Bernard.
110
00:04:42,041 --> 00:04:44,961
Sorry, Spot, but I don't think
you're any of those breeds.
111
00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:47,171
But I must be some breed!
112
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:50,830
Otherwise, I'm a multibreed
or a half-breed
113
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:53,167
or even a worse-- a no breed.
114
00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:54,630
I got to know, Leonard!
115
00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:57,629
Oh, I'm going across the street
for a bit, doodle bug.
116
00:04:57,709 --> 00:04:58,999
You can take Spot for a walk
if you want to.
117
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,670
Hey, Mom, do you know what
kind of dog Spot is?
118
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:08,250
Well, of course-- he's a
lovable, dubbable, cutie-wootie,
119
00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:11,423
oogie-boogie, pupper-wupper
kind of dog.
120
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:12,750
No. I mean what breed?
121
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,424
Ah ha ha!
122
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:18,460
Oh, Lenny-penny, he's got more
different kinds of blood in him
123
00:05:18,542 --> 00:05:20,422
than a hyperactive mosquito.
124
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:23,290
She obviously doesn't realize
that any dog
125
00:05:23,375 --> 00:05:25,955
who can pass himself off
as a fourth grader
126
00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:27,461
must have purebred genes.
127
00:05:27,542 --> 00:05:30,212
It's just a matter of finding
out what kind.
128
00:05:30,291 --> 00:05:31,921
Will you please be quiet?
129
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,500
You're drowning out
the dog show.
130
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,713
[announcer] 156 breeds of dog
131
00:05:35,792 --> 00:05:39,212
all vying for the title of
"best in show."
132
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:41,581
Of course. That's it!
133
00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:44,077
There are 156 breeds at that show.
134
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:46,376
One of them must be related to me.
135
00:05:46,458 --> 00:05:49,378
It's just one big doggy
gene pool,
136
00:05:49,458 --> 00:05:53,498
just waiting for me to dip my
tongue in and lap, lap, lap.
137
00:05:53,583 --> 00:05:57,713
Come on, Leonard,
we're taking that walk--
138
00:05:57,792 --> 00:06:01,172
to the 67th Annual East Westland
139
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,710
Canine Convocation Dog Show.
140
00:06:03,792 --> 00:06:06,542
Oh, brother.
There goes my Saturday.
141
00:06:06,625 --> 00:06:10,245
I'm all atwitter, Leonard.
Look at me-- twittering!
142
00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:13,583
I absolutely love voyages of
self-discovery.
143
00:06:13,667 --> 00:06:16,667
Just like Alex Haley, in the
classic novel
144
00:06:16,750 --> 00:06:20,540
and groundbreaking miniseries,
I'm gonna find my roots!
145
00:06:20,625 --> 00:06:21,455
[snickering]
146
00:06:22,375 --> 00:06:25,455
Ha ha-- roots!
Hey, you hear that, boys?
147
00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:27,172
Yeah, what a poser.
148
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:30,380
First, the mutt dresses up
like a boy.
149
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,378
Now he's a purebred wannabe.
150
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,538
Hey, Mr. Wannabe--
heh-heh heh-heh.
151
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:35,455
[blows raspberries]
152
00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,415
See that, Leonard?
That's how mutts behave.
153
00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:39,920
I'm obviously not one of them.
154
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,040
Hey, what are you talking mutts, huh?
155
00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:45,915
I'm a Sicilian Dung-Beetle Terrier.
156
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,330
I got papers here!
157
00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:50,827
Yeah, and I'm a Longhaired
Ortney Sheepdog.
158
00:06:50,917 --> 00:06:52,327
I got a haircut.
159
00:06:52,417 --> 00:06:54,077
They're purebreds? Wow!
160
00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:56,326
If those lowlifes have papers,
161
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,917
I must be a really special breed.
162
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,380
Come on, Lenny,
let's get to that dog show.
163
00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:04,418
Thank goodness!
They finally left.
164
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:07,250
Now I can concentrate
on the show.
165
00:07:07,333 --> 00:07:10,253
Just peace, quiet, and fine
breeding.
166
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,173
[mumbling contentedly]
167
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,330
[cat meows]
168
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:18,535
What in sweet creation is that
unholy noise?!
169
00:07:20,583 --> 00:07:24,213
It's just what we don't need
around here-- another cat.
170
00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:27,711
Well, how do you do, birdie boy?
171
00:07:27,792 --> 00:07:29,502
If I wasn't such a
companionable cat,
172
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,673
I might be inclined to call you lunch.
173
00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:33,580
[squeaks]
174
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:37,380
That voice-- I know that voice.
175
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:40,248
But seeing as I am--
companionable, that is--
176
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,753
I'd settle for a bowl of crunchies
177
00:07:42,834 --> 00:07:45,384
and a place to rest for an
hour or two.
178
00:07:45,458 --> 00:07:48,168
But it couldn't be... could it?
179
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:51,250
Hey, Jolly, there's a cat here
wanting food.
180
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,883
Tell him to go away!
181
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,669
Oh, come now, son.
182
00:07:54,750 --> 00:07:58,290
Is that any way to treat your
old dad?
183
00:07:58,375 --> 00:07:59,575
Say what?!
184
00:07:59,667 --> 00:08:03,747
Behold, Leonard--
the dog show!
185
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:06,584
It's like the Camelot of good breeding.
186
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:09,127
And just as a young King Arthur
discovered his royal birth
187
00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,918
by pulling the sword
from the stone,
188
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:15,880
so I, too, shall soon redefine
myself by my noble ancestry.
189
00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:17,709
King Arthur's just a legend.
190
00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:22,541
You're a real, live dog who
disguises himself as a boy.
191
00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:26,375
Oh, stop being so literal and
make like a purebred owner.
192
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,205
[dogs barking]
193
00:08:31,375 --> 00:08:33,165
It's beautiful!
194
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:38,880
Just think-- somewhere in
there lies my ancestry.
195
00:08:45,834 --> 00:08:48,634
That scruffy schlemiel is your pop?
196
00:08:48,709 --> 00:08:50,879
You told me you were one
197
00:08:50,959 --> 00:08:52,579
of the hoity-toity Louisiana Puddinpusses.
198
00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,997
I am... on my mother's side.
199
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,878
See, my mommy, Missy Puddinpuss,
had it all--
200
00:08:57,959 --> 00:08:59,959
comfort, wealth, a good name.
201
00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:04,421
The world was her ball of
yarn... until he came along--
202
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:09,130
Mr. Poppy, with his polished,
hard-luck story and a smile.
203
00:09:09,208 --> 00:09:12,208
He led mommy down the path of
scandal and shame.
204
00:09:12,291 --> 00:09:14,541
Left her with nothing but
bittersweet memories
205
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,455
and a whole basketful of little
Puddinpusses to feed,
206
00:09:17,542 --> 00:09:18,882
including me.
207
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:20,631
That's the cat on our
windowsill,
208
00:09:20,709 --> 00:09:23,329
and he's got some nerve showing
his whiskers around here.
209
00:09:23,417 --> 00:09:27,787
He's a crude, classless,
partying, womanizing--
210
00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:31,075
whoa, whoa, whoa!
I've heard enough.
211
00:09:31,625 --> 00:09:33,955
Sounds like my kind of cat.
212
00:09:34,041 --> 00:09:36,131
Hey, there.
Jolly tells me you're his pop.
213
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,328
So fill me in.
214
00:09:37,417 --> 00:09:39,917
How did a fun-loving guy like you
215
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,710
turn out a prissy, fussy cat like that?
216
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:46,377
Oh, he gets all the priss
and fuss from his mother.
217
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:47,288
[laughter]
218
00:09:48,458 --> 00:09:51,328
Oh, come on, Jolly,
let him in.
219
00:09:51,417 --> 00:09:52,287
He's fun!
220
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,205
Absotively negativo!
221
00:09:54,291 --> 00:09:58,331
Why should I let him back in?
He was the one who walked out.
222
00:09:58,417 --> 00:10:02,037
[announcer] Welcome back
to the 67th Canine Convocation Dog Show.
223
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:05,535
The hype is all over,
and there's nothing left now
224
00:10:05,625 --> 00:10:06,915
but the judging.
225
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,460
[man] Attention, handlers.
226
00:10:08,542 --> 00:10:12,382
Please ready your pets for the
"best of breed" competition.
227
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:15,538
Just look at all these
admirable creatures, Leonard.
228
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:18,575
To think, one of them is
long-lost kindred.
229
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,787
They all look kind of snooty to me,
230
00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:22,375
and so do their owners.
231
00:10:22,458 --> 00:10:24,078
-Sit up!
-Lie down.
232
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,626
-Be still.
-Dude, you got to stop shedding.
233
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,999
Dude, it's like bad for our image.
234
00:10:29,083 --> 00:10:31,383
Leroy, y'all want to stop panting?
235
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:35,418
Your breath's hotter than a
barbecued chili pepper in August.
236
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:36,670
Hoover, agh!
237
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:39,380
You're slobbering all over
my dress.
238
00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:40,748
It'll stain!
239
00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:44,004
Look, Leonard-- a dalmatian.
They're born actors, you know.
240
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,583
That could explain my flair
for the theater.
241
00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:50,498
You're Seychelles Grand Hovernose.
242
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,713
I recognize you from our cat's
downloadable
243
00:10:52,792 --> 00:10:55,632
dog-show fantasy game profile.
244
00:10:55,709 --> 00:10:57,079
Never mind. Hard to explain.
245
00:10:57,166 --> 00:10:59,626
But, uh [clears throat]
I was just wondering.
246
00:10:59,709 --> 00:11:01,919
Take a good look at me.
Looking? Okay.
247
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,380
First impression--
don't think too much.
248
00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:05,668
Am I a dalmatian or what?
249
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:08,000
[chuckles]
I rather doubt it.
250
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:10,423
But the camera loves me.
I have the talent.
251
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,920
But do you have the proud,
erect tail?
252
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,170
The ability to run
for hours on end,
253
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:18,290
attributable to our breeding as
English carriage dogs?
254
00:11:18,375 --> 00:11:20,745
Actually, running is not my
strong suit.
255
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:21,964
Asthma.
256
00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:24,581
Although I do know something
about the carriage
257
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:25,877
and its relationship
258
00:11:25,959 --> 00:11:28,579
to 17th-century English
economic development.
259
00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:32,077
Do you have, in a word, Spots?
260
00:11:32,166 --> 00:11:33,126
Eh... I got one.
My name is Spot.
261
00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:37,291
[scoffs]
262
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:40,035
You are most certainly not
a dalmatian.
263
00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,375
Okay. No hard feelings.
264
00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:45,038
One breed down, 155 to go.
265
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,040
Ah! Bloodhounds!
266
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:52,125
Now there's a noble breed.
267
00:11:52,208 --> 00:11:54,578
Used by law-enforcement agencies
the world over
268
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:56,417
to track down criminals.
269
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,920
I must be a bloodhound!
270
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,500
How else to explain
271
00:11:59,583 --> 00:12:02,333
my extraordinary
crime-solving abilities
272
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:06,377
in my manifestation as...
"Scottlock" Holmes?
273
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:07,628
Ha ha ha ha!
274
00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:10,629
That's quite an outfit there, boy.
275
00:12:10,709 --> 00:12:14,039
But do you have the bloodhound
saggy skin?
276
00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:18,995
The oversized ears designed to
hold the scent around the nose?
277
00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:20,538
[sniffs]
278
00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:23,787
Eh... in a word, no.
279
00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,205
Then take a walk, boy.
280
00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:29,421
This here's a bloodhounds only area.
281
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:32,960
For purebreds, they sure don't
have very good manners.
282
00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:35,211
It's almost like they wish they
weren't dogs.
283
00:12:37,250 --> 00:12:39,420
Maybe I'm a golden retriever.
284
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,500
Uh, you're like blue, dude.
285
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:44,213
Too small.
286
00:12:44,291 --> 00:12:46,381
-Tan grande!
-Tan grande!
287
00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:48,538
Too many fur issues.
288
00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:51,075
Not enough fur issues.
289
00:12:54,583 --> 00:12:58,503
Maybe Moe and Dickens
and the rest of them are right.
290
00:12:58,583 --> 00:13:00,333
Maybe I am just a mutt.
291
00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:01,247
Don't feel bad, Spot.
292
00:13:01,750 --> 00:13:04,790
You don't want to be like these
snobby dogs, anyway.
293
00:13:04,875 --> 00:13:05,825
You're right, bunky.
294
00:13:05,917 --> 00:13:07,167
The way they treated me,
295
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:09,210
I wouldn't join their little
blue-blood club
296
00:13:09,291 --> 00:13:11,421
if they got down on all fours
and begged me!
297
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:14,880
[man over PA] Calling all
Scottish Blue Bloodhounds.
298
00:13:14,959 --> 00:13:17,459
Come on, McDougal.
That's our cue!
299
00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:20,502
Leonard, look!
It's one of me!
300
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:22,133
I found my roots!
301
00:13:22,208 --> 00:13:24,708
I'm a Scottish Blue Bloodhound!
302
00:13:26,333 --> 00:13:28,173
♪ I thought through all my doggy years ♪
303
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:30,170
♪ That's seven to your one ♪
304
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:32,170
♪ That I was cut from motley cloth ♪
305
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:34,130
♪ With mongrels doomed to run ♪
306
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,078
♪ But now I found my roots are deep ♪
307
00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:38,126
♪ In Fifi's Scottish soil ♪
308
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,168
♪ And in my lusty pictish veins ♪
309
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,580
♪ I hear the blue blood boil ♪
310
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:45,627
♪ Under my kilt and tam,
Sporran and chain mail ♪
311
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:47,959
♪ This noble Spot's
A purebred scot ♪
312
00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:50,331
♪ From blue tip to blue tail ♪
313
00:13:50,417 --> 00:13:52,957
They can take away
our chew toys,
314
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:55,961
but they cannot take away
our freedom!
315
00:13:56,041 --> 00:13:59,421
♪ It wasn't just by chance
I named my alter ego Scott ♪
316
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,500
♪ It was the thread of my ancestry ♪
317
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:03,423
♪ That tied this Celtic knot ♪
318
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:07,420
♪ And now that I have stumbled
On my Scottish roots so deep ♪
319
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,710
♪ I understand my love for haggis ♪
320
00:14:09,792 --> 00:14:11,462
♪ And my love of sheep ♪
321
00:14:11,542 --> 00:14:15,042
♪ Under my kilt and tam,
Sporran and chain mail ♪
322
00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:16,285
♪ This noble Spot's a purebred scot ♪
323
00:14:17,583 --> 00:14:23,503
♪ From blue tip to blue tail ♪
324
00:14:23,583 --> 00:14:25,173
[man over PA] Last call--
325
00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,250
all Scottish Blue Bloodhounds
to the show floor.
326
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,503
Come on, Leonard.
Take me out there.
327
00:14:29,583 --> 00:14:30,423
Put me in the show.
328
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,420
I want to take my rightful place
329
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,920
with the rest of my extended
blue family.
330
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,790
Okay. If that's what you
really want.
331
00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:39,381
[dogs barking]
332
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:41,378
I can't see a thing.
Where am I?
333
00:14:41,458 --> 00:14:44,458
I think we're right in the
middle of the floor.
334
00:14:44,542 --> 00:14:46,582
[man over PA]
And here they are--
335
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:47,997
the Scottish Blue Bloodhounds.
336
00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:49,253
[Spectators cheer, bagpipes play]
337
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:57,460
Oh, no!
I'm a wiener dog?!
338
00:14:57,542 --> 00:15:00,502
[growling]
339
00:15:06,542 --> 00:15:08,582
[growling]
340
00:15:11,875 --> 00:15:13,785
What in tarnation is that?!
341
00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:16,785
Oh! Some kind of a horrible mongrel!
342
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,957
He's not one of us, laddies!
343
00:15:19,583 --> 00:15:21,133
Let's get him!
344
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:22,168
[barking]
345
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,460
Come on, boys... laddies.
346
00:15:25,542 --> 00:15:27,542
We must share some blood, right?
347
00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:29,535
I mean, there's the whole
blue thing.
348
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,917
You're blue... I'm blue.
We're simpatico.
349
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,380
Ooh, boy.
350
00:15:34,458 --> 00:15:40,498
♪ I dream of Jeannie
With the light brown hair ♪
351
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:44,955
[laughs]
352
00:15:45,583 --> 00:15:46,833
Whoa!
353
00:15:46,917 --> 00:15:49,747
No harm, no foul.
354
00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:52,464
Ha ha ha!
355
00:15:52,542 --> 00:15:56,082
Hey, you are one fun feline.
356
00:15:56,166 --> 00:15:59,076
Hey, Jolly, get off
your furry keister.
357
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,376
Come sing with us.
358
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:02,828
Your poppy is a hoot
and a half.
359
00:16:02,917 --> 00:16:06,747
Sorry, but I do not engage in
the type of low-brow antics
360
00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:08,084
Mr. Poppy enjoys.
361
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,416
Besides, I'm otherw--
362
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,920
Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy!
363
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,250
Come here, quick--
on the screen.
364
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:13,253
Look, look, look!
365
00:16:13,333 --> 00:16:14,173
Spot!
366
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:17,285
[announcer] Boy, is that poor
mutt out of place
367
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:18,575
in this highborn crowd.
368
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:19,827
Oh, tsk-tsk-tsk.
369
00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:23,037
Well, I suppose that's what he
gets for putting on airs
370
00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:25,665
and refusing to acknowledge
his real roots.
371
00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:26,580
[lightning crashes]
372
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:30,166
Come on, Jolly,
it's starting to rain.
373
00:16:30,250 --> 00:16:34,000
How about letting your poor
pop in to dry his fur?
374
00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:37,003
I have no father!
I have no father!
375
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,254
Self-awareness is obviously not
this cat's strong suit.
376
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:47,133
That's quite a disturbance down
on the floor.
377
00:16:47,208 --> 00:16:48,668
So let's take a break.
378
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:51,670
And then we'll be back for the
"best of show" judging.
379
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:53,790
Best of show!
Best of show's next!
380
00:16:53,875 --> 00:16:57,165
Oh, boy, oh, boy,
oh, boy!
381
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,080
[lightning crashes]
382
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:02,537
No! The cable's out!
Oh, cruel fate.
383
00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:05,455
You inimical gods
of telecommunications,
384
00:17:05,542 --> 00:17:07,962
what have I done to offend
you so?
385
00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:09,081
My life is ruined!
386
00:17:09,166 --> 00:17:09,996
[crying]
387
00:17:10,375 --> 00:17:15,035
Say, Mr. Jolly, I think I can
get your picture back...
388
00:17:15,125 --> 00:17:16,455
If you let me inside.
389
00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:17,382
[crying]
390
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000
You can?
391
00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:21,423
Well, don't just stand there.
Hurry, hurry!
392
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,040
I'd like to emphasize that
letting you in the house
393
00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:26,785
does not symbolize me letting
you back into my life
394
00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,825
and acknowledging my roots.
395
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,577
Whatever you say, son.
396
00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:46,631
You're logged on to the dog-show
website, right?
397
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:52,173
So, we just plug the computer
into the TV monitor...
398
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:57,080
Pull up the live streaming
webcast and voilà!
399
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:58,916
[announcer] We're back,
400
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,170
and you absolutely won't
believe what's going on here.
401
00:18:02,250 --> 00:18:04,500
You don't want to miss
a second of this.
402
00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:09,575
[man] Get that mutt out of here!
403
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:15,537
[woman] He'll infect my poopsie
with his mongrel diseases!
404
00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:19,125
Leonard, where are you?
Help!
405
00:18:19,208 --> 00:18:21,498
Spot! Spot!
406
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:24,253
[growls]
407
00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:27,285
Here, boy!
408
00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:30,167
Curses! It looks like curtains.
409
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:33,330
The jig is up.
What horrible clichés.
410
00:18:33,417 --> 00:18:35,127
Is that me talking?
411
00:18:35,208 --> 00:18:36,998
Everybody, stop!!
412
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,583
What are you people doing?
413
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:41,577
Who? Us?
414
00:18:41,667 --> 00:18:42,917
Yeah, you.
415
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,080
I'm totally amazed at how
clueless you all are.
416
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,666
What do you mean, son?
417
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:50,000
You all say you're dog lovers,
right?
418
00:18:50,083 --> 00:18:51,753
[all] Uh...yeah?
419
00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:54,044
But you're totally missing out
on what a dog is.
420
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:56,075
You just care about their
breeding
421
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:59,326
and their purebred papers, how
many trophies they win,
422
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,213
how they can make you look good.
423
00:19:01,291 --> 00:19:03,501
But that's not
what makes a dog great.
424
00:19:03,583 --> 00:19:06,003
What makes a dog great is how loyal he is,
425
00:19:06,083 --> 00:19:08,963
the way he can be your absolute
best friend in the world.
426
00:19:09,041 --> 00:19:12,461
Aw, Lenny,
you're killing me here.
427
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:15,382
All I'm saying is,
for a crowd of dog lovers,
428
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,958
I sure don't feel a whole lot of
love in this room.
429
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:21,671
Anyway... well, that's all.
430
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,710
[all crying]
431
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:38,421
Hoover, you're a good dog.
432
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:41,750
Oh, this dress is history anyway.
433
00:19:41,834 --> 00:19:46,084
You pant all you want to, Leroy.
I love you, boy.
434
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:50,996
Dude, you totally shed!
435
00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:52,793
Hi ya, Leonard.
436
00:19:52,875 --> 00:19:53,705
Hey, Spot.
437
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:56,958
Can we go home now?
438
00:19:57,041 --> 00:19:58,581
You bet.
439
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,920
How'd you do that trick
with the television?
440
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,540
Where did a lowlife alley cat
441
00:20:07,625 --> 00:20:10,325
learn such advanced
computer-networking skills?
442
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:13,287
I've worked with a lot of
discarded PCs
443
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,035
left in alley dumpsters.
444
00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:17,165
So that's where I get my
high-tech acumen.
445
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,460
The Puddinpusses always said
you were a low-down nogoodnik.
446
00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:23,332
Well, now that's not
exactly true.
447
00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:26,207
In fact, I was quite
the socialite.
448
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:29,081
A scion of the Georgia
Whiskervilles, I was.
449
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:32,166
Whaaa!
Oh, my silver spoons.
450
00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,290
You're a Whiskerville?!
451
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:35,915
Yes, indeed.
452
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,130
But I found the whole purebred scene
453
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:40,248
to be a very large crock of nonsense.
454
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,213
I insisted on telling those snobs--
455
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:44,501
including the Puddinpusses,
I'm afraid--
456
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:47,003
that who you are is more important
457
00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:49,213
than who your pappy was.
458
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:52,001
Well, they threw me off their
property for my trouble.
459
00:20:52,083 --> 00:20:53,003
I never knew.
460
00:20:53,083 --> 00:20:57,083
Would you stay here forever,
please, please, please?
461
00:20:57,166 --> 00:21:00,746
I'd love to, Jolly, but I'm
a rambling cat.
462
00:21:00,834 --> 00:21:03,794
And now that I'm fed and dry,
for which I thank you kindly,
463
00:21:03,875 --> 00:21:05,825
it's time to be a-ramblin' on.
464
00:21:05,917 --> 00:21:10,457
Don't worry, Jolly, I'll drop back by for
a visit every now and again.
465
00:21:10,542 --> 00:21:11,672
Bye now.
466
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:17,543
So, you're a Puddinpuss
and a Whiskerville.
467
00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:19,125
You've got some genes.
468
00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:22,628
Oh, who cares?
Didn't you hear what he said?
469
00:21:22,709 --> 00:21:26,039
What kind of cat you are is
more important
470
00:21:26,125 --> 00:21:29,535
than who your completely
wonderful pappy was.
471
00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,001
It's nice to be loved, Leonard.
472
00:21:35,083 --> 00:21:37,923
But I still can't believe I'm
not a purebred.
473
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,080
You just don't get it,
do you, Spot?
474
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,666
You're better than them.
475
00:21:41,750 --> 00:21:44,670
You're not just smart like an
Australian Cattle Dog
476
00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:46,380
or brave like a St. Bernard
477
00:21:46,458 --> 00:21:48,378
or a good tracker like a
bloodhound.
478
00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:51,328
You're brave and smart and
a good tracker
479
00:21:51,417 --> 00:21:53,537
and a dozen other things
besides.
480
00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:56,875
That's why I love mutts.
You've got it all.
481
00:21:56,959 --> 00:22:00,039
Still, I think I looked
rather dashing in a kilt.
482
00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:04,245
Hey, Mr. Jolly's not watching the show.
483
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:09,035
[singing off-key]
♪ I dream of Jeannie ♪
484
00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:13,785
♪ With the light brown hair ♪
35968
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